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Public-domain commentary
Matthew Henry
From his Commentary on the Whole Bible. Henry comments on passages, not single verses — this entry covers Colossians 3:18–25.
The apostle concludes the chapter with exhortations to relative duties, as before in the epistle to the Ephesians. The epistles which are most taken up in displaying the glory of divine grace, and magnifying the Lord Jesus, are the most particular and distinct in pressing the duties of the several relations. We must never separate the privileges and duties of the gospel religion.
I.He begins with the duties of wives and husbands (Col 3:18):
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Submission is the duty of wives, hupotassesthe. It is the same word which is used to express our duty to magistrates (Rom 13:1, Let every soul be subject to the higher powers), and is expressed by subjection and reverence, Eph 5:24, Eph 5:33. The reason is that Adam was first formed, then Eve: and Adam was not deceived, but the woman, being deceived, was in the transgression, Ti1 2:13, Ti1 2:14. He was first in the creation and last in the transgression. The head of the woman is the man; and the man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man; neither was the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man, Co1 11:3, Co1 11:8, Co1 11:9. It is agreeable to the order of nature and the reason of things, as well as the appointment and will of God. But then it is submission, not to a rigorous lord or absolute tyrant, who may do his will and is without restraints, but to a husband, and to her own husband, who stands in the nearest relation, and is under strict engagements to proper duty too. And this is fit in the Lord, it is becoming the relation, and what they are bound in duty to do, as an instance of obedience to the authority and law of Christ. On the other hand, husbands must love their wives, and not be bitter against them, Col 3:19. They must love them with tender and faithful affection, as Christ loved the church, and as their own bodies, and even as themselves (Eph 5:25, Eph 5:28, Eph 5:33), with a love peculiar to the nearest relation and the greatest comfort and blessing of life. And they must not be bitter against them, not use them unkindly, with harsh language or severe treatment, but be kind and obliging to them in all things; for the woman was made for the man, neither is the man without the woman, and the man also is by the woman, Co1 11:9, Co1 11:11, Co1 11:12.
II.The duties of children and parents:
Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord, Col 3:20. They must be willing to do all their lawful commands, and be at their direction and disposal; as those who have a natural right and are fitter to direct them than themselves. The apostle (Eph 6:2) requires them to honour as well as obey their parents; they must esteem them and think honourably of them, as the obedience of their lives must proceed from the esteem and opinion of their minds. And this is well-pleasing to God, or acceptable to him; for it is the first commandment with promise (Eph 6:2), with an explicit promise annexed to it, namely, That it shall be well with them, and they shall live long on the earth. Dutiful children are the most likely to prosper in the world and enjoy long life. And parents must be tender, as well as children obedient (Col 3:21): "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Let not your authority over them be exercised with rigour and severity, but with kindness and gentleness, lest you raise their passions and discourage them in their duty, and by holding the reins too tight make them fly out with greater fierceness." The bad temper and example of imprudent parents often prove a great hindrance to their children and a stumbling-block in their way; see Eph 6:4. And it is by the tenderness of parents, and dutifulness of children, that God ordinarily furnishes his church with a seed to serve him, and propagates religion from age to age.
III.Servants and masters:
Servants, obey your masters in all things according to the flesh, Col 3:22. Servants must do the duty of the relation in which they stand, and obey their master's commands in all things which are consistent with their duty to God their heavenly Master. Not with eye-service, as men-pleasers - not only when their master's eye is upon them, but when they are from under their master's eye. They must be both just and diligent. In singleness of heart, fearing God - without selfish designs, or hypocrisy and disguise, as those who fear God and stand in awe of him. Observe, The fear of God ruling in the heart will make people good in every relation. Servants who fear God will be just and faithful when they are from under their master's eye, because they know they are under the eye of God. See Gen 20:11, Because I thought, Surely the fear of God is not in this place. Neh 5:15, But so did not I, because of the fear of God. "And whatsoever you do, do it heartily (Col 3:23), with diligence, not idly and slothfully:" or, "Do it cheerfully, not discontented at the providence of God which put you in that relation." - As to the Lord, and not as to men. It sanctifies a servant's work when it is done as unto God - with an eye to his glory and in obedience to his command, and not merely as unto men, or with regard to them only. Observe, We are really doing our duty to God when we are faithful in our duty to men. And, for servants' encouragement, let them know that a good and faithful servant is never the further from heaven for his being a servant: "Knowing that of the Lord you shall receive the reward of the inheritance, for you serve the Lord Christ, Col 3:24. Serving your masters according to the command of Christ, you serve Christ, and he will be your paymaster: you will have a glorious reward at last. Though you are now servants, you will receive the inheritance of sons. But, on the other hand, He who does wrong will receive for the wrong which he has done," Col 3:25. There is a righteous God, who, if servants wrong their masters, will reckon with them for it, though they may conceal it from their master's notice. And he will be sure to punish the unjust as well as reward the faithful servant: and so if masters wrong their servants. - And there is no respect of persons with him. The righteous Judge of the earth will be impartial, and carry it with an equal hand towards the master and servant; not swayed by any regard to men's outward circumstances and condition of life. The one and the other will stand upon a level at his tribunal.
It is probable that the apostle has a particular respect, in all these instances of duty, to the case mentioned 1 Cor. 7 of relations of a different religion, as a Christian and heathen, a Jewish convert and an uncircumcised Gentile, where there was room to doubt whether they were bound to fulfil the proper duties of their several relations to such persons. And, if it hold in such cases, it is much stronger upon Christians one towards another, and where both are of the same religion. And how happy would the gospel religion make the world, if it every where prevailed; and how much would it influence every state of things and every relation of life!
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But while honoring our heavenly Father, let us also honor the “fathers of our flesh,” since the Lord in the Law and the Prophets has clearly laid this down, saying: “Honor your mother and your father, that it may be well with you, and that you may have a long life in the land.” Let those present who have mothers and fathers pay attention to this command. “Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is pleasing to the Lord.” For our Lord did not say: “He who loves father or mother is not worthy of me,” else what was well written you might interpret falsely out of ignorance, but he added “more than me.”
Again he has put that, "in the Lord," at once laying down the laws of obedience, and shaming them, and casting them down. For this, saith he, is well-pleasing to the Lord. See how he would have us do all not from nature only, but, prior to this, from what is pleasing to God, that we may also have reward.
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Summary
Colossians 3:20 presents a clear divine mandate for children to obey their parents in all matters, underscoring that such obedience is not merely a social convention but an act profoundly pleasing to the Lord. This verse, situated within Paul's practical instructions for Christian living, highlights the spiritual significance of familial relationships and demonstrates how the new life in Christ transforms and orders the household according to God's design, fostering harmony and reflecting divine authority.
Context
Literary Context
Colossians 3:20 is embedded within the latter, practical section of Paul's letter to the Colossians, following his profound theological exposition on the supremacy of Christ and the believer's union with Him. Chapters 1 and 2 establish Christ as the head of all creation and the church, the one in whom "all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell" Colossians 1:19. Chapter 3 transitions from doctrine to duty, urging believers to "seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God" Colossians 3:1. This pursuit of heavenly things necessitates "putting off" the old self with its sinful practices and "putting on" the new self, which is being renewed in the image of its Creator Colossians 3:9-10. The specific instructions in verses 18-21, often referred to as "household codes," apply these theological truths to the most fundamental unit of society: the family. They provide concrete examples of how Christ's transformative power should manifest in the daily, relational dynamics of husbands and wives, children and parents, and masters and slaves, demonstrating that Christian faith impacts every sphere of life.
Historical & Cultural Context
The concept of "household codes" was common in Greco-Roman society, reflecting a prevailing emphasis on social order and hierarchical structures within the family and broader community. Philosophers like Aristotle and Plato discussed the proper functioning of the household (oikos). However, Paul's Christian household codes, while sharing a structural resemblance, fundamentally reorient these relationships through the lens of Christ. Unlike pagan codes that often emphasized the absolute authority of the paterfamilias, Paul introduces mutual submission and obligations rooted in love and reverence for Christ. For children, obedience was a cornerstone of Roman family life, where the patria potestas (father's power) was extensive, even over adult children. Paul's command to "obey your parents" would have resonated culturally, but his addition "in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord" elevates the motivation from mere societal expectation or fear of parental reprisal to a spiritual act of worship and devotion to God. This reframing imbues the command with unique Christian significance, placing familial harmony within the divine economy.
Key Themes
Colossians 3:20 significantly contributes to several overarching themes within the book and broader New Testament. Firstly, it reinforces the theme of Christian Conduct and Ethics, demonstrating how theological truth must translate into practical, righteous living. The transformation wrought by Christ is not merely internal but profoundly impacts external behavior, especially within the most intimate relationships. Secondly, it highlights the Divine Order and Authority within creation, particularly within the family unit. God has established parents as figures of authority, and children's obedience to them reflects a broader principle of submission to God-ordained structures. This theme is echoed in other epistles, such as when Paul instructs wives to submit to their husbands as to the Lord Ephesians 5:22. Thirdly, the verse underscores the theme of Pleasing God Through Obedience. The motivation "for this is well pleasing unto the Lord" elevates mundane acts of obedience into spiritual offerings. This aligns with the broader biblical principle that genuine faith is demonstrated through obedience, as seen in the life of Abraham, who was justified by faith, yet his faith was demonstrated through his obedience James 2:21-23. Finally, it contributes to the theme of Christ's Lordship Over All Life, asserting that even the seemingly small acts of family life are to be lived "as to the Lord" Colossians 3:23, bringing every sphere under His sovereign rule.
Exposition and Analysis
Key Word Analysis
Meaning "a child (as produced)." This term broadly refers to offspring, regardless of age, though in the context of household codes, it typically refers to those still under parental authority. It emphasizes the natural relationship of being "produced" by parents, implying a foundational bond and inherent responsibility.
Meaning "to hear under (as a subordinate), i.e. to listen attentively; by implication, to heed or conform to a command or authority." This word implies more than just passive hearing; it denotes a responsive, submissive listening that leads to active compliance. It suggests an attitude of respect and willingness to follow instructions from a position of deference.
Meaning "fully agreeable." This term conveys the idea of something that brings genuine satisfaction, delight, or approval. When applied to God, it signifies that the action is not merely acceptable but is something that aligns with His character and brings Him joy. It highlights the divine approval and favor that rests upon such obedience.
Verse Breakdown
"Children, obey your parents in all things:"
This is a direct, imperative command addressed to children. The term "children" (τέκνα) refers to offspring, encompassing those still under the direct care and authority of their parents. The verb "obey" (ὑπακούετε) is in the present imperative, signifying a continuous, ongoing action. The phrase "in all things" (ἐν πᾶσιν) is comprehensive, indicating that the obedience should extend to every area of life, encompassing all legitimate parental instructions. This comprehensive scope is understood within the moral framework of God's law; children are not expected to obey commands that would lead them to sin against God, as the ultimate authority is God Himself. This clause establishes the action required and its scope.
"for this is well pleasing unto the Lord."
This clause provides the divine motivation and justification for the command. The particle "for" (γάρ, G1063) introduces the reason. "This" (τοῦτο, G5124) refers back to the act of children obeying their parents. The phrase "well pleasing" (εὐάρεστον, G2101) signifies that such obedience brings genuine satisfaction and approval to "the Lord" (τῷ Κυρίῳ, G2962). This elevates the act of obedience from a mere social or familial duty to a spiritual act of worship that honors God directly. It implies that God delights in the order, respect, and submission demonstrated within the family unit, as it reflects His own character and design for human relationships.
Literary Devices
The verse primarily employs Didacticism, serving as direct ethical instruction for believers. It uses a clear Imperative Mood ("obey") to convey a direct command. The structure also features a Motivation Clause, where the command ("Children, obey your parents in all things") is immediately followed by its divine rationale ("for this is well pleasing unto the Lord"). This rhetorical device is common in Paul's epistles, providing not just rules but also the theological foundation and spiritual benefit for adherence. The phrase "in all things" functions as a Hyperbole or Generalization to emphasize comprehensive obedience, though implicitly bounded by righteousness, a common interpretive principle in biblical commands.
Theological and Thematic Connections
Colossians 3:20 powerfully articulates the theological principle that familial relationships are not merely secular arrangements but spheres where God's will and glory are to be manifested. The command for children to obey parents is rooted in God's design for order and authority, reflecting His own hierarchical nature and His desire for harmonious relationships within His creation. This obedience is presented as an act of worship, demonstrating that even seemingly ordinary domestic duties can become profoundly spiritual when performed with a heart seeking to please God. It underscores the sanctity of the family unit as a foundational institution ordained by God, where principles of submission, respect, and love are to be cultivated, ultimately redounding to the praise of the Lord.
Reflection and Application
Colossians 3:20 offers profound insights for both children and parents, extending beyond mere childhood into the dynamics of adult children and their aging parents. For those still under parental authority, the call to "obey your parents in all things" is a clear directive to honor, respect, and submit to the guidance and instruction of those God has placed over them. This obedience, however, is not blind; it is implicitly understood to be within the bounds of righteousness, meaning children are not to obey commands that would lead them to sin against God. The motivation is paramount: "for this is well pleasing unto the Lord." This transforms a household chore or a parental request into an act of worship, reminding children that their obedience to their parents is fundamentally an act of obedience to God. For parents, this verse affirms the divine origin and significance of their authority. It encourages them to exercise this authority responsibly, nurturing their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, knowing that a home where children honor their parents is a home that brings delight to God. Even for adult children, while direct obedience may shift, the principle of honor, respect, and care for parents remains a lifelong mandate, reflecting God's enduring design for family relationships and our ongoing call to live lives that are "well pleasing unto the Lord."
Questions for Reflection
FAQ
Does "obey your parents in all things" mean children must obey even if a parent tells them to do something wrong or sinful?
No, the phrase "in all things" must be interpreted within the broader biblical context of God's ultimate authority. While the command emphasizes comprehensive obedience, it does not override a higher command to obey God. If a parent's instruction contradicts God's clear moral law or leads to sin, a child's ultimate allegiance is to God. As Peter famously declared, "We must obey God rather than human beings!" Acts 5:29. Christian obedience to human authority is always subordinate to and qualified by obedience to divine authority. Therefore, "in all things" refers to all legitimate and righteous commands that fall within the bounds of God's will.
Does this verse apply to adult children, or only to those living under their parents' roof?
While the direct command to "obey" (ὑπακούω) primarily applies to children under the direct authority and care of their parents, the underlying principle of honoring and respecting parents is lifelong. The New Testament consistently upholds the Fifth Commandment, "Honor your father and your mother" Exodus 20:12, which is reiterated in Ephesians 6:2-3 with a promise. For adult children, this honor may manifest as respectful communication, seeking counsel, providing care as parents age, and maintaining a loving relationship, even if direct obedience to commands is no longer the primary dynamic. The goal remains to live in a way that is "well pleasing unto the Lord" in all family relationships.
Christ-Centered Fulfillment
Colossians 3:20 finds its ultimate fulfillment and deepest meaning in the person and work of Jesus Christ. He is the supreme example of perfect obedience, not only to His heavenly Father but also to His earthly parents. Luke records that Jesus "went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them" Luke 2:51, demonstrating the very obedience Paul commands. More profoundly, Christ's entire earthly life was characterized by unwavering obedience to the Father's will, culminating in His sacrificial death on the cross. He "humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross" Philippians 2:8. It is through Christ's perfect obedience that humanity's disobedience is atoned for, and believers are enabled to live lives that are "well pleasing unto the Lord." Our ability to obey our parents, or any authority, stems from our union with Christ, who empowers us by His Spirit to walk in newness of life. Thus, children's obedience to parents becomes a tangible expression of their new identity in Christ and a participation in His own obedient life, reflecting the gospel's transformative power within the most intimate human relationships, all to the glory of the one true Lord.