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Study This Verse
Public-domain commentary
Matthew Henry
From his Commentary on the Whole Bible. Henry comments on passages, not single verses — this entry covers Exodus 20:12–17. His two-level outline is real structure in the source text, so it is rendered as structure.
We have here the laws of the second table, as they are commonly called, the last six of the ten commandments, comprehending our duty to ourselves and to one another, and constituting a comment upon the second great commandment, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. As religion towards God is an essential branch of universal righteousness, so righteousness towards men is an essential branch of true religion. Godliness and honesty must go together.
I.The fifth commandment concerns the duties we owe to our relations; those of children to their parents are alone specified: Honour thy father and thy mother, which includes,
1.A decent respect to their persons, an inward esteem of them outwardly expressed upon all occasions in our conduct towards them. Fear them (Lev 19:3), give them reverence, Heb 12:9. The contrary to this is mocking at them and despising them, Pro 30:17.
2.Obedience to their lawful commands; so it is expounded (Eph 6:1-3): "Children, obey your parents, come when they call you, go where they send you, do what they bid you, refrain from what they forbid you; and this, as children, cheerfully, and from a principle of love." Though you have said, "We will not," yet afterwards repent and obey, Mat 21:29.
3.Submission to their rebukes, instructions, and corrections; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward, out of conscience towards God.
4.Disposing of themselves with the advice, direction, and consent, of parents, not alienating their property, but with their approbation.
5.Endeavouring, in every thing, to be the comfort of their parents, and to make their old age easy to them, maintaining them if they stand in need of support, which our Saviour makes to be particularly intended in this commandment, Mat 15:4-6. The reason annexed to this commandment is a promise: That thy days may be long in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. Having mentioned, in the preface to the commandments, has bringing them out of Egypt as a reason for their obedience, he here, in the beginning of the second table, mentions his bringing them into Canaan, as another reason; that good land they must have upon their thoughts and in their eye, now that they were in the wilderness. They must also remember, when they came to that land, that they were upon their good behaviour, and that, if they did not conduct themselves well, their days should be shortened in that land, both the days of particular persons who should be cut off from it, and the days of their nation which should be removed out of it. But here a long life in that good land is promised particularly to obedient children. Those that do their duty to their parents are most likely to have the comfort of that which their parents gather for them and leave to them; those that support their parents shall find that God, the common Father, will support them. This promise is expounded (Eph 6:3), That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. Those who, in conscience towards God, keep this and the rest of God's commandments, may be sure that it shall be well with them, and that they shall live as long on earth as Infinite Wisdom sees good for them, and that what they may seem to be cut short of on earth shall be abundantly made up in eternal life, the heavenly Canaan which God will give them.
II.The sixth commandment concerns our own and our neighbour's life (Exo 20:13):
"Thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not do any thing hurtful or injurious to the health, ease, and life, of thy own body, or any other person's unjustly." This is one of the laws of nature, and was strongly enforced by the precepts given to Noah and his sons, Gen 9:5, Gen 9:6. It does not forbid killing in lawful war, or in our own necessary defence, nor the magistrate's putting offenders to death, for those things tend to the preserving of life; but it forbids all malice and hatred to the person of any (for he that hateth his brother is a murderer), and all personal revenge arising therefrom; also all rash anger upon sudden provocations, and hurt said or done, or aimed to be done, in passion: of this our Saviour expounds this commandment, Mat 5:22. And, as that which is worst of all, it forbids persecution, laying wait for the blood of the innocent and excellent ones of the earth.
III.The seventh commandment concerns our own and our neighbour's chastity:
Thou shalt not commit adultery, Exo 20:14. This is put before the sixth by our Saviour (Mar 10:19): Do not commit adultery, do not kill; for our chastity should be as dear to us as our lives, and we should be as much afraid of that which defiles the body as of that which destroys it. This commandment forbids all acts of uncleanness, with all those fleshly lusts which produce those acts and war against the soul, and all those practices which cherish and excite those fleshly lusts, as looking, in order to lust, which, Christ tells us, is forbidden in this commandment, Mat 5:28.
IV.The eighth commandment concerns our own and our neighbour's wealth, estate, and goods:
Thou shalt not steal, Exo 20:15. Though God had lately allowed and appointed them to spoil the Egyptians in a way of just reprisal, yet he did not intend that it should be drawn into a precedent and that they should be allowed thus to spoil one another. This command forbids us to rob ourselves of what we have by sinful spending, or of the use and comfort of it by sinful sparing, and to rob others by removing the ancient landmarks, invading our neighbour's rights, taking his goods from his person, or house, or field, forcibly or clandestinely, over-reaching in bargains, nor restoring what is borrowed or found, withholding just debts, rents, or wages, and (which is worst of all) to rob the public in the coin or revenue, or that which is dedicated to the service of religion.
V.The ninth commandment concerns our own and our neighbour's good name: Thou shalt not bear false witness, Exo 20:16. This forbids,
1.Speaking falsely in any matter, lying, equivocating, and any way devising and designing to deceive our neighbour.
2.Speaking unjustly against our neighbour, to the prejudice of his reputation; and (which involves the guilty of both),
3.Bearing false witness against him, laying to his charge things that he knows not, either judicially, upon oath (by which the third commandment, and the sixth of eighth, as well as this, are broken), or extrajudicially, in common converse, slandering, backbiting, tale-bearing, aggravating what is done amiss and making it worse than it is, and any way endeavouring to raise our own reputation upon the ruin of our neighbour's.
VI.The tenth commandment strikes at the root:
Thou shalt not covet, Exo 20:17. The foregoing commands implicitly forbid all desire of doing that which will be an injury to our neighbour; this forbids all inordinate desire of having that which will be a gratification to ourselves. "O that such a man's house were mine! Such a man's wife mine! Such a man's estate mine!" This is certainly the language of discontent at our own lot, and envy at our neighbour's; and these are the sins principally forbidden here. St. Paul, when the grace of God caused the scales to fall from his eyes, perceived that this law, Thou shalt not covet, forbade all those irregular appetites and desires which are the first-born of the corrupt nature, the first risings of the sin that dwelleth in us, and the beginnings of all the sin that is committed by us: this is that lust which, he says, he had not known the evil of, if this commandment, when it came to his conscience in the power of it, had not shown it to him, Rom 7:7. God give us all to see our face in the glass of this law, and to lay our hearts under the government of it!
Historical interpretation
Four Centuries of Reception
9 surviving comments on this verse. Each one is dated, so this reads as a timeline rather than a list.
Select a marker to jump to its quote. Markers stagger vertically where authors wrote within a few decades of each other.
And he said unto them, Full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own tradition. For Moses said, Honour thy father and thy mother; and, Whoso curseth father or mother, let him die the death: [Exodus 20:12] But ye say, If a man shall say to his father or mother, It is Corban, that is to say, a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; he shall be free. And ye suffer him no more to do ought for his father or his mother; Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things do ye.
Then came to Jesus scribes and Pharisees, which were of Jerusalem, saying, Why do thy disciples transgress the tradition of the elders? for they wash not their hands when they eat bread. But he answered and said unto them, Why do ye also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition? For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: [Exodus 20:12] and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death. But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; And honour not his father or his mother, he shall be free. Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. [Exodus 20:12]
And God said, “Honor your father and your mother,” teaching that the child should pay the honor which is due to his parents. Of this honor to parents one part was to share with them the necessaries of life, such as food and clothing, and if there was any other thing in which it was possible for them to show favor toward their own parents.
And again, who would deny that the command which says, “Honor your father and your mother, that it may be well with you,” is useful quite apart from any spiritual interpretation and that it ought certainly to be observed, especially when we remember that the apostle Paul has quoted it in the same words?
The formation of the children is then the prerogative of the parents. Therefore honor your father, that he may bless you. Let the godly man honor his father out of gratitude and the ingrate do so on account of fear. Even if the father is poor and does not have plenty of resources to leave to his sons, still he has the heritage of his final blessing with which he may bestow the wealth of sanctification on his descendants. And it is a far greater thing to be blessed than it is to be rich.
[The Lord] declares that [this commandment] is to be interpreted not of mere words, which while offering an empty show of regard may still leave a parent’s wants unrelieved, but by the actual provision of the necessaries of life. The Lord commanded that poor parents should be supported by their children and that these should pay them back when old for those benefits which they had themselves received in their childhood.
It’s your parents you see when you first open your eyes, and it is their friendship that lays down the first strands of this life. If anyone fails to honor his parents, is there anyone he will spare?
So if you are afraid your son won’t take care of you once he has his hands on the money, you are in fact making filial piety a commodity for sale, not a quality to be loved. How much better a poor man’s son, the son, for instance, of an old man in the direst poverty, who expects nothing from his father because he hasn’t got anything he can leave him but who all the same supports his father with his labor and the sweat of his brow. Sometimes, of course, the children of rich people too take the fear of God seriously, and that’s why they show consideration to their parents, not because they expect something from them but because they are their parents who brought them into the world and brought them up, and God gave a commandment which says “Honor your father and your mother.” But where the reward is there for all to see, the genuineness of their sentiments is not so obvious.
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Summary
Exodus 20:12 presents the fifth of the Ten Commandments, a foundational principle for ancient Israelite society and a timeless moral imperative for all humanity. This command uniquely includes a specific promise, highlighting its profound importance in God's covenant with His people and underscoring the divine significance of family as the bedrock of societal order and flourishing.
Context
Literary Context
This verse is strategically placed as the pivotal fifth commandment within the Decalogue, delivered by God to Moses on Mount Sinai amidst a dramatic theophany. The preceding four commandments establish Israel's exclusive devotion to Yahweh, prohibiting idolatry, the misuse of His sacred name, and instituting the Sabbath as a sign of the covenant. Exodus 20:12 marks a critical transition from duties owed directly to God to duties owed to fellow humans, serving as the foundational command for all subsequent societal order. Its placement as the first in the "second table" of the law emphasizes the family as the primary sphere where respect for God-given authority and order is learned and practiced, thus forming the essential bedrock of a stable covenant community.
Historical & Cultural Context
The giving of the Ten Commandments occurred at Mount Sinai after Israel's miraculous deliverance from Egyptian bondage, marking the formal establishment of their covenant relationship with Yahweh. This command was given to a newly liberated people, transitioning from generations of slavery to nationhood, who desperately needed a divine framework for their societal structure and ethical conduct. In ancient Near Eastern cultures, respect for elders and parents was generally high, but this commandment elevates it to a divine mandate, grounding it in God's own authority and linking it directly to the promise of the land. The "land which the LORD thy God giveth thee" refers specifically to Canaan, the inheritance promised to Abraham's descendants, as seen in the promise of the land in Genesis 12:7. The promise of "long days upon the land" directly links obedience to the stability and continuity of the nation's presence in that divinely granted territory, a crucial factor for a nomadic people about to settle and form a lasting society under God's rule, as further emphasized in Deuteronomy 5:16.
Key Themes
Exodus 20:12 contributes significantly to several overarching themes within the book of Exodus and the broader Pentateuch. It reinforces the theme of Covenant Obedience and Blessing, demonstrating that adherence to God's commands brings tangible benefits, both individually and corporately. It highlights the Sanctity of the Family Unit as the fundamental building block of God's chosen nation, emphasizing its role in transmitting faith and values across generations. Furthermore, it underscores the theme of Divine Authority and Human Responsibility, establishing that human relationships, particularly within the family, are not merely social constructs but are divinely ordered and upheld by God's own authority. The command also subtly introduces the theme of Inheritance of the Land, linking the moral conduct of the people to their continued possession and flourishing in the Promised Land.
Exposition and Analysis
Key Word Analysis
Derived from a primitive root meaning "to be heavy" or "weighty," this word signifies far more than mere obedience or polite deference. It implies giving significant weight, esteem, and value to one's parents. This encompasses reverence for their God-given position, gratitude for their upbringing and provision, active care and support (especially in old age), and upholding their dignity and reputation. It stands in stark contrast to treating them lightly, disrespectfully, or neglecting them, emphasizing a deep, abiding respect that translates into tangible actions and a recognition of their foundational role in God's established order.
This primitive word denotes a father in both a literal and immediate sense, but also extends to figurative and remote applications, including a chief or forefather. In this context, it refers to the male parent, the head of the household, and the primary figure of authority and provision within the family unit. The command to honor the father underscores the patriarchal structure prevalent in ancient Israelite society and the unique responsibility and authority vested in this role by divine design.
A primitive word, "mother" refers to the female parent, often seen as the bond of the family. Its inclusion alongside "father" is significant, emphasizing the equal importance of both parents in the eyes of God and in the family structure. Honoring the mother implies respect for her nurturing role, her wisdom, her sacrifices, and her authority within the home, recognizing her indispensable contribution to the well-being and upbringing of children.
Verse Breakdown
"Honour thy father and thy mother"
This is a direct, unconditional imperative from God, establishing the fundamental duty of children towards their parents. This command applies not only to minor children in their obedience but also to adult offspring, encompassing ongoing respect, care, and provision, particularly as parents age. It is the bedrock of familial and societal stability, reflecting God's established order and the foundational unit of His covenant community.
"that thy days may be long"
This clause presents the specific, tangible blessing attached to obedience to the fifth commandment. It refers to a full, prosperous, and peaceful life, characterized by well-being and divine favor. While it does not necessarily imply individual immortality, it suggests a life free from premature ends often associated with societal breakdown, divine judgment, or internal strife. It indicates a general principle that honoring parents contributes to a stable and flourishing existence.
"upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee."
This phrase specifies the context and scope of the blessing, directly linking it to Israel's national destiny. For the Israelites, it explicitly referred to their continued possession, security, and flourishing in the divinely promised land of Canaan. The longevity promised was not merely individual but national, implying that a society where parents are honored would be stable, endure, and continue to inhabit the land God had graciously provided. This directly connects familial honor to the covenant and Israel's national prosperity, making it integral to their very existence as God's people in their promised inheritance.
Literary Devices
Exodus 20:12 employs Conditional Promise, where a clear command ("Honour thy father and thy mother") is directly linked to a specific, desirable outcome ("that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee"). This structure highlights divine causality, demonstrating that righteous action leads to divine favor and blessing. The phrase "the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee" functions as a powerful Metonymy, standing not just for the physical territory but for the entire covenant relationship, Israel's national identity, and their unique status as God's chosen people, as their existence and prosperity were intrinsically tied to their dwelling in the Promised Land. Furthermore, the commandment serves as a Foundation Stone for the subsequent commands regarding human relationships, demonstrating that societal order, stability, and well-being begin within the family unit, making it a microcosm of the larger covenant community and a reflection of God's ordered creation.
Theological and Thematic Connections
This commandment is profoundly theological, grounding human familial relationships in divine authority and design. It establishes that respect for authority begins within the home, extending outward to civil and ultimately divine authority. The unique promise attached to it underscores God's desire for human flourishing and societal stability, directly linking obedience to His commands with tangible blessings. It reveals God's design for a well-ordered society, starting with the fundamental unit of the family, and highlights the intergenerational responsibility inherent in His covenant. The command implicitly teaches that God values order, hierarchy, and the transmission of wisdom and values from one generation to the next, seeing the family as the primary institution for this divine purpose.
Reflection and Application
Exodus 20:12 transcends its ancient Israelite context to offer timeless wisdom and a vital moral imperative for all generations and cultures. It calls us to cultivate a deep and active respect for those who have nurtured, guided, and provided for us, recognizing their invaluable role in our lives and in the fabric of society. This honor manifests not only in obedience during childhood but also in ongoing care, support, and esteem as adults, especially as parents age. Applying this commandment today means actively seeking ways to demonstrate gratitude, provide practical help, uphold the dignity of our parents, and listen to their wisdom, even when perspectives differ. It fosters strong family bonds that contribute significantly to a healthy, stable community. This commandment reminds us that the quality and longevity of our society often reflect the strength and respect within its families, and that God's blessing is often tied to our faithful obedience in these foundational relationships.
Questions for Reflection
FAQ
Does "honour thy father and thy mother" apply to abusive parents?
While the command to honor parents is foundational and universal, its application in cases of abuse requires careful discernment and wisdom. "Honor" primarily means to give weight, respect, and care to their God-given position, and to provide for their needs. However, it does not mandate blind obedience to sinful commands, remaining in an abusive situation, or sacrificing one's safety or well-being. The Bible also condemns abuse and calls for justice. In such difficult circumstances, honoring may involve setting healthy boundaries, seeking safety and protection, pursuing reconciliation where possible, and praying for them, rather than enabling harmful behavior. True honor aligns with God's character, which is just and righteous, and does not require complicity in sin or perpetuation of harm.
Is the promise of "long days upon the land" still relevant today for Christians?
While the specific promise of "long days upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee" was directly tied to ancient Israel's inheritance and flourishing in the physical land of Canaan, the New Testament reaffirms the underlying principle of blessing for those who honor their parents. Ephesians 6:2-3 quotes this commandment, calling it "the first commandment with a promise," thereby universalizing its principle. For Christians, this blessing may manifest not as physical land, but as spiritual flourishing, peace, stability, and a fulfilling life in God's kingdom. It suggests a general principle of well-being, longevity, and divine favor that accompanies obedience to God's design for family life, reflecting His continued desire to bless those who walk in His ways and uphold His foundational commands for human flourishing.
Christ-Centered Fulfillment
Exodus 20:12 finds its ultimate and perfect fulfillment in the person and work of Jesus Christ, who perfectly embodied the principle of honor and obedience. As the eternal Son, Jesus perfectly honored His heavenly Father, always doing His will, speaking His words, and seeking His glory, as He declares in John 8:29: "I always do what pleases him." He also demonstrated perfect filial piety to His earthly parents, Mary and Joseph, submitting to their authority during His upbringing in Nazareth, as recorded in Luke 2:51. Through His life of perfect obedience, His sacrificial death, and His glorious resurrection, Christ established a new covenant, by which believers are adopted into God's family, becoming true children of God through faith in Him, as proclaimed in John 1:12. In Christ, the promise of "long days upon the land" transcends a physical inheritance to become an eternal one, as believers inherit the new heavens and new earth, dwelling eternally in God's presence, a glorious reality described in Revelation 21:1-4. Our ability to truly honor others, including our parents, flows from the transforming grace and new nature we receive in Christ, empowering us to live in accordance with God's perfect law and to reflect the divine order established by the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, for "love is the fulfillment of the law," as Romans 13:8-10 teaches.