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“Avoid Drunkenness and Gluttony”· Proverbs 23:19–25
Translation
King James Version
Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.
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KJV (with Strong's)
Hearken H8085 unto thy father H1 that begat H3205 thee, and despise H936 not thy mother H517 when she is old H2204.
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Complete Jewish Bible
Listen to your father, who gave you life; and don't despise your mother when she gets old.
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Berean Standard Bible
Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.
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American Standard Version
Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, And despise not thy mother when she is old.
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World English Bible Messianic
Listen to your father who gave you life, and don’t despise your mother when she is old.
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Geneva Bible (1599)
Obey thy father that hath begotten thee, and despise not thy mother when she is olde.
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Young's Literal Translation
Hearken to thy father, who begat thee, And despise not thy mother when she hath become old.
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In the KJVVerse 17,067 of 31,102 · 54.9%

Study This Verse

Summary

Proverbs 23:22 delivers a profound and timeless admonition, urging children to cultivate unwavering respect and attentive obedience toward their parents throughout their lives. It specifically calls for honoring the father who imparted life and for steadfastly refraining from despising the mother, particularly as she enters old age. This verse serves as a cornerstone of biblical wisdom, emphasizing the enduring duty of filial piety, gratitude, and compassionate care within the family unit, reflecting a foundational principle for a well-ordered and righteous life that honors both human origins and divine mandates.

Context

Literary Context

This proverb is strategically situated within a larger section of the book (Proverbs 22:17-24:34) often referred to as the "Sayings of the Wise," a collection of practical instructions and moral exhortations designed to guide individuals in living a life of wisdom and righteousness. The immediate preceding verses Proverbs 23:19-21 warn against the destructive paths of gluttony and drunkenness, which lead to poverty and ruin, setting a tone of admonition for responsible and disciplined living. Following Proverbs 23:22, the text continues to extol the virtues of acquiring and cherishing wisdom Proverbs 23:23 and the importance of parental instruction, contrasting it with the destructive path of folly and immorality Proverbs 23:24-28. Thus, the call to honor parents is presented not as an isolated command, but as an indispensable component of the wise path, intricately intertwined with other ethical directives essential for a flourishing life and the transmission of godly values.

Historical & Cultural Context

In ancient Israelite society, the family (the bet 'av, or "father's house") was the fundamental unit of social, economic, and religious life, serving as the primary institution for education and moral formation. Parental authority was paramount, and the transmission of wisdom, faith, and practical skills occurred primarily within the home. The concept of honoring parents was not merely a cultural suggestion but a sacred duty, deeply embedded in the Mosaic Law, notably as the Fifth Commandment in the Decalogue. This commandment carried a profound promise of longevity and well-being in the land, underscoring its immense societal and spiritual significance. Furthermore, the elderly held a revered status in ancient Near Eastern cultures, seen as invaluable repositories of wisdom, experience, and tradition. To "despise" an aging parent would have been an egregious offense, a direct violation of both familial and communal norms, reflecting a profound lack of gratitude, respect, and a fundamental breakdown of social order. Such an act would have been viewed as a deep affront to the very fabric of society and divine expectation.

Key Themes

Proverbs 23:22 contributes significantly to several overarching themes within the book of Proverbs and broader biblical wisdom literature. Primarily, it underscores the theme of Filial Piety and Respect, emphasizing that true wisdom begins with honoring one's origins and those who provided life and instruction. This is a recurring motif throughout Proverbs, as seen in passages like Proverbs 1:8 and Proverbs 6:20, where parental teaching is presented as a vital source of life-giving wisdom. Secondly, the verse highlights the theme of Intergenerational Responsibility and Care for the Vulnerable. By specifically mentioning the mother "when she is old," it draws acute attention to the particular needs and potential vulnerabilities of aging parents, calling for continued love, dignity, and practical support. This resonates deeply with the broader biblical emphasis on caring for the weak, the dependent, and the marginalized, as found in the Law (Leviticus 19:32) and prophetic literature. Finally, the verse implicitly connects to the theme of Wisdom's Source and Transmission. Parents are often depicted in Proverbs as the primary conduits of divine wisdom, and hearkening to them is presented as a foundational pathway to receiving, internalizing, and embodying that wisdom, leading to a life blessed by God and characterized by righteousness.

Exposition and Analysis

Key Word Analysis

Hearken shâmaʻ' H8085

This word (H8085) is far more comprehensive than merely "to hear" sounds. It implies listening with deep understanding, giving diligent attention, and, crucially, obeying. It signifies a receptive heart and a willingness to act upon what is heard. In the context of parental instruction, it means not just passively hearing their words but actively internalizing their counsel, submitting to their authority, and embracing their wisdom as a guiding principle for one's life. This active listening leads to obedience.

Despise bûwz' H936

The term (H936) denotes a strong sense of scorn, disdain, contempt, or even utter disregard. It is an active rejection of worth or value, a deliberate act of treating someone as insignificant or worthless. The prohibition against despising one's mother, especially in her old age, underscores the profound severity of such an attitude, portraying it as a deep moral and spiritual failing that dishonors the giver of life and disregards their inherent dignity and vulnerability.

Old zâqên' H2204

This word (H2204) refers to being aged or old, describing a person in the latter stages of life. Its inclusion specifically for the mother emphasizes a particular stage of life often characterized by diminished physical strength, increased vulnerability, and potentially greater dependence. The command not to despise her "when she is old" highlights the ongoing and perhaps even intensified need for honor, patience, practical care, and unwavering respect as parents age and their capabilities may wane, reminding children of their enduring duty to provide for those who once provided for them.

Verse Breakdown

"Hearken unto thy father that begat thee"

This clause issues a direct, non-negotiable imperative to listen attentively and obediently to one's father. The phrase "that begat thee" serves as a powerful and poignant reminder of the father's fundamental role in giving life, and by extension, providing upbringing, instruction, and moral guidance. It appeals to a deep sense of gratitude and recognition for this foundational contribution, implying that the father's counsel is rooted in love, experience, and a profound desire for the child's well-being and flourishing. This is a call to acknowledge and respect the source of one's physical existence and initial formation.

"and despise not thy mother when she is old."

This second clause complements the first, extending the command of honor to the mother and adding a crucial qualifier regarding her stage of life. It strictly prohibits any form of scorn, contempt, neglect, or disdain towards the mother, particularly emphasizing her vulnerability in old age. This highlights the ongoing, lifelong responsibility of children to care for and honor their parents even when they may be frail, dependent, or perceived as less capable. It underscores the enduring nature of filial duty, love, and practical support, especially when those who once nurtured are now in need of nurture themselves.

Literary Devices

Proverbs 23:22 masterfully employs several effective literary devices to convey its profound and urgent message. The verse exhibits Synthetic Parallelism, where the second line expands upon or completes the thought of the first, creating a comprehensive command regarding both parents. While not strictly antithetical, the two clauses present complementary aspects of filial duty: active, obedient listening to the father and refraining from contempt towards the aging mother, together forming a complete picture of parental honor. The use of Imperative Mood ("Hearken," "despise not") makes the commands direct, forceful, and non-negotiable, emphasizing their moral weight and divine authority. The phrases "that begat thee" and "when she is old" serve as powerful Appeals to Pathos, skillfully evoking a sense of gratitude for the gift of life and profound compassion for the vulnerability inherent in old age. These emotional appeals strengthen the ethical and moral force of the commands, making them resonate deeply with the reader's conscience. Furthermore, the mention of "father" and "mother" together functions as a Merism, representing the complete parental unit and thus encompassing all aspects of honor, respect, and care due to one's progenitors.

Theological and Thematic Connections

The command to honor parents, as encapsulated in Proverbs 23:22, is a foundational thread woven throughout the entire fabric of biblical revelation, signifying its timeless and universal importance. It is not merely a cultural norm or a suggestion for social harmony, but a divine mandate, reflecting God's design for family order, the transmission of wisdom across generations, and the very nature of respectful authority. This principle underscores the immense value God places on obedience, respect for elders, and the foundational role of the family in shaping individuals and society, and in fostering spiritual formation. Disregarding parents is consistently seen in scripture as a rejection of wisdom, a defiance of divine order, and a pathway to negative consequences, while honoring them is inextricably linked to blessings, longevity, and a flourishing life under God's favor.

Reflection and Application

Proverbs 23:22 calls us to a profound and enduring commitment to our parents, a commitment that transcends the dependency of childhood and extends throughout their lives, especially into their vulnerable later years. In a world that often prioritizes youth, radical independence, and personal ambition, this proverb serves as a powerful counter-cultural reminder of our foundational duties and the sacred bond of family. It challenges us to move beyond mere tolerance or occasional gestures of kindness to cultivate a deep, abiding respect and active, compassionate care for those who gave us life, nurtured us, and imparted wisdom. This includes not only listening to their counsel and valuing their experience, even when our perspectives may differ, but also proactively ensuring their dignity, comfort, and well-being as they age. It's a call to proactive love, unwavering patience, and practical support, remembering the immense sacrifices they made for us and recognizing their enduring worth as image-bearers of God. Our obedience to this proverb is a tangible expression of our gratitude and our understanding of God's design for human relationships.

Questions for Reflection

  1. In what specific ways do I actively "hearken" to the wisdom and counsel of my parents (or parental figures) today, even as an adult, seeking their insight rather than dismissing it?
  2. How do I ensure that I am not "despising" my aging parents, either through neglect, impatience, a lack of practical support, or by devaluing their contributions and experiences?
  3. What tangible steps can I take this week to cultivate a deeper sense of gratitude for my parents' contributions to my life, and how can I express that gratitude meaningfully and consistently?
  4. How does my attitude and treatment of my parents reflect my understanding of God's command to honor them, and what areas might require repentance and growth?

FAQ

What does "hearken unto thy father that begat thee" truly imply?

"Hearken" (Hebrew: shâmaʻ, H8085) means much more than just hearing sounds passively. It implies listening with understanding, giving careful and diligent attention, and, most importantly, obeying. The phrase "that begat thee" emphasizes the father's foundational role in giving you life and, by extension, providing instruction, guidance, and shaping your upbringing. So, the command means to attentively receive, internalize, and act upon the wise counsel and instruction of your father, acknowledging his foundational role in your existence and formation. It's about respecting his authority, valuing his experience, and submitting to his guidance for your own good.

Why is there a specific mention of "despise not thy mother when she is old"?

This specific mention highlights the particular vulnerability of mothers (and parents in general) in old age. As individuals grow old, they may experience declining physical and mental faculties, potentially leading to increased dependence, frailty, and a greater need for care. The command to "despise not" (Hebrew: bûwz, H936, meaning scorn, contempt, or utter disregard) underscores the severe moral offense of neglecting, disrespecting, or showing disdain for an aging parent, especially one who has poured her life into nurturing her children. It emphasizes the enduring, lifelong duty of children to provide continued love, dignity, and practical care for their parents, even when their needs change and they may no longer be as capable as they once were. This aligns with broader biblical principles of caring for the vulnerable and respecting the aged, as profoundly stated in Leviticus 19:32: "You shall rise before the gray head and honor the face of an old man, and you shall fear your God: I am the LORD."

Christ-Centered Fulfillment

Proverbs 23:22 finds its ultimate and most profound fulfillment in the person and work of Jesus Christ. While the proverb calls us to honor earthly parents, Jesus perfectly embodied this principle in His own life, providing the supreme example. He was subject to His earthly parents, Mary and Joseph, demonstrating perfect obedience and respect within the human family unit, even as a child. More significantly, Jesus perfectly "hearkened" to His heavenly Father, living a life of absolute and unwavering obedience, always doing what pleased the Father and perfectly fulfilling His will. His entire mission, from incarnation to crucifixion, was an act of profound filial submission to the Father's divine plan, even to the point of death on the cross. Furthermore, even in His agony on the cross, Jesus did not "despise" His mother when she was old (or nearing old age and facing immense grief), but rather made specific and tender provision for her care, entrusting her to the beloved disciple John, saying, "Woman, behold your son!" and to the disciple, "Behold your mother!". This act of selfless care, even in His final, excruciating moments, perfectly illustrates the spirit of the proverb. Through Christ, we are adopted into God's family, receiving a new Father who "begat" us spiritually by His Spirit (John 1:12-13 and Romans 8:15). Our ultimate "hearkening" is now to Him, our Heavenly Father, and our ultimate freedom from "despising" anyone, especially our parents, comes through His transformative grace, enabling us to love and honor both God and our earthly parents as He did.

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Public-domain commentary

Matthew Henry

From his Commentary on the Whole Bible. Henry comments on passages, not single verses — this entry covers Proverbs 23:19–28. His three-level outline is real structure in the source text, so it is rendered as structure.

1662–1714 · 10 verses
Passage under commentProverbs 23:19–28
I. II. Main points1. 2. Sub-points(1.) (2.) Details

Here is good advice for parents to give to their children; words are put into their mouths, that they may train them up in the way they should go. Here we have,

I.An earnest call to young people to attend to the advice of their godly parents, not only to this that is here given, but to all other profitable instructions: "Here, my son, and be wise, Pro 23:19. This will be an evidence that thou art wise and a means to make thee wiser." Wisdom, as faith, comes by hearing. And again (Pro 23:22): "Hearken unto thy father who begot thee, and who therefore has an authority over thee and an affection for thee, and, thou mayest be sure, can have no other design than thy own good." We ought to give reverence to the fathers of our flesh, who begot us, and were the instruments of our being; much more ought we to obey and be in subjection to the Father of our spirits, who made us and is the author of our being. And since the mother also, from a sense of duty to God and from love to her child, gives him good instructions, let him not despise her, nor her advice, when she is old. When the mother was grown old we may suppose the children to be grown up; but let them not think themselves past being taught, even by her, but rather respect her the more for the multitude of her years and the wisdom which they teach. Scornful and insolent young men will make a jest, it may be, of the good advice of an aged mother, and think themselves not concerned to heed what an old woman says; but such will have a great deal to answer for another day, not only as having set at nought good counsel, but as having slighted and grieved a good mother, Pro 30:17.

II.An argument to enforce this call, taken from the great comfort which this will be to their parents, Pro 23:24, Pro 23:25. Note,

1.It is the duty of children to study how they may gladden the hearts of their good parents, and do it yet more and more, so that they may greatly rejoice in them, even when the evil days come and the years of which they say they have no pleasure in them but this, to see their children do well, as Barzillai to see Chimham preferred.

2.Children will be a joy to their parents if they be righteous and wise. Righteousness is true wisdom; those who do good so well for themselves. Those are completely such as they should be who are not only wise (that is, knowing and learned), but righteous (that is, honest and good), and not only righteous (that is, conscientious and well-meaning), but wise (that is, prudent and discreet) in the management of themselves. If such the children be, especially all the children, the father and mother will be glad, and think nothing too much that they have done, or do, for them; they will please themselves in them, and give God thanks for them; particularly she that bore them with pain, and nursed them with pains, will rejoice in them, and reckon herself well requited, and the sorrow more than forgotten, because a wise and good man is the product of it, who is a blessing to the world he was born into.

III.Some general precepts of wisdom and virtue.

1.Guide thy heart in the way, Pro 23:19. It is the heart that must be taken care of and directed aright; the motions and affections of the soul must be towards right objects and under a steady guidance. If the heart be guided in the way, the steps will be guided and the conversation well ordered.

2.Buy the truth and sell it not, Pro 23:23. Truth is that by which the heart must be guided and governed, for without truth there is no goodness; no regular practices without right principles. It is by the power of truth, known and believed, that we must be kept back from sin and constrained to duty. The understanding must be well-informed with wisdom and instruction, and therefore,

(1.)We must buy it, that is, be willing to part with any thing for it. He does not say at what rate we must buy it, because we cannot buy it too dear, but must have it at any rate; whatever it costs us, we shall not repent the bargain. When we are at expense for the means of knowledge, and resolved not to starve so good a cause, then we buy the truth. Riches should be employed for the getting of knowledge, rather than knowledge for the getting of riches. When we are at pains in searching after truth, that we may come to the knowledge of it and may distinguish between it and error, then we buy it. Dii laboribus omnia vendunt - Heaven concedes every thing to the laborious. When we choose rather to suffer loss in our temporal interest than to deny or neglect the truth they we buy it; and it is a pearl of such great price that we must be willing to part with all to purchase it, must make shipwreck of estate, trade, preferment, rather than of faith and a good conscience.

(2.)We must not sell it. Do not part with it for pleasures, honours, riches, any things in this world. Do not neglect the study of it, nor throw off the profession of it, nor revolt from under the dominion of it, for the getting or saving of any secular interest whatsoever. Hold fast the form of sound words, and never let it go upon any terms.

3.Give my thy heart, Pro 23:26. God in this exhortation, speaks to us as unto children: "Son, Daughter, Give my thy heart." The heart is that which the great God requires and calls for from every one of us; whatever we give, if we do not give him our hearts, it will not be accepted. We must set our love upon him. Our thoughts must converse much with him, and on him, as our highest end. The intents of our hearts must be fastened. We must make it our own act and deed to devote ourselves to the Lord, and we must be free and cheerful in it. We must not think to divide the heart between God and the world; he will have all or none. Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart. To this call we must readily answer, "My father, take my heart, such as it is, and make it such as it should be; take possession of it, and set up thy throne in it."

4.Let thy eyes observe my ways; have an eye to the rule of God's word, the conduct of his providence, and the good examples of his people. Our eyes must observe these, as he that writes observes his copy, that we may keep in the right paths and may proceed and persevere in them.

IV.Some particular cautions against those sins which are, of all sins, the most destructive to the seeds of wisdom and grace in the soul, which impoverish and ruin it.

1.Gluttony and drunkenness, Pro 23:20, Pro 23:21. The world is full of examples of this sin and temptations to it, which all young people are concerned to stand upon their guard against and keep at a distance from Be not a wine-bibber; we are allowed to drink a little wine (Ti1 5:23), but not much, not to make a trade of it, never to drink to excess. Be not a riotous eater of flesh, as the Israelites were, who lusted exceedingly after it, saying, Who will give us flesh to eat? Whereas Paul, though he is free to eat flesh, yet resolves that he will eat no flesh while the world stands rather than make his brother to offend; so indifferent is he to it, Co1 8:13. Be not an excessive eater of flesh. Intemperance must be avoided in meat as well as drink. Be not a luxurious eater of flesh, not pleased with any thing but what is very nice and delicate, savoury dishes, and forced meat. Some take not only a pleasure, but a pride, in being curious about their diet, and, as they call it, eating well; as if that were the ornament of a gentleman, which is really the shame of a Christian, making a God of the belly. "Be not a wine bibber, and be not a riotous eater; and therefore, be not among wine-bibbers nor among riotous eaters; do not give them countenance, lest thou learn their ways and insensibly fall into those sins, or at least lose the dread and detestation of them. They covet to have thee among them; for those that are debauched themselves are very desirous to debauch others; therefore do not gratify them, lest thou endanger thyself." He fetches an argument against this sin from the expensiveness of it and its tendency to impoverish men: and if men will not be deterred from it by the ruin it brings on their secular interests, which lie nearest their hearts, no marvel that they are not frightened from it by what they are told out of the word of God of the mischief it does them in their spiritual and eternal concerns. The drunkard and the glutton hate to be reformed, though they are told they shall come to poverty, nay, though they are told they shall come to hell. Drunkenness is the cause of drowsiness; it stupefies men, and makes them inattentive to business, and then all goes to wreck and ruin: thus men that have lived creditably come to be clothed with rags.

2.Whoredom. This is another sin which takes away the heart that should be given to God, Hos 4:11. He shows the danger which attends that sin, Pro 23:27, Pro 23:28,

(1.)It is a sin from which few recover themselves when once they are entangled in it. It is like a deep ditch and a narrow pit, which it is almost impossible to get out of; and therefore it is wisdom to keep far enough from the brink of it. Take heed of making any approaches towards this sin, because it is so hard to make a retreat from it, conscience, which should head the retreat, being debauched by it, and divine grace forfeited.

(2.)It is a sin which bewitches men to their ruin: The adulteress lies in wait as a robber, pretending friendship, but designing the greatest mischief, to rob them of all they have that is valuable, to strip them both of their armour and of their ornaments. Even those who, being virtuously educated, endeavour to shun the adulteress, she will lie in wait for, that she may assault them when they are off their guard and she has them at an advantage. Let none therefore be at any time secure.

(3.)It is a sin that contributes more than any other to the spreading of vice and immorality in a kingdom: It increases the transgressors among men. One adulteress may be the ruin of many a precious soul and may help to debauch a whole town. It increases the treacherous or perfidious ones; it not only occasions husbands to be false to their wives and servants to their masters, but many that have professed religion to throw off their profession and break their covenants with God. Houses of uncleanness are therefore such pest-houses as ought to be suppressed by those whose office it is to take care of the public welfare.

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Historical interpretation

Historical Reception

One surviving comment on this verse from the historical church.

1 quote · AD 399
AD 399Evagrius PonticusPost-NiceneSourceSCHOLIA ON PROVERBS 258:23.22
As the ancient saying goes, soul is the mother of the mind, because it is the soul which leads the mind to enlightenment by means of practical virtues.
Source: Quotations drawn from early Church Fathers and historical Christian theologians (AD 100–1500). Some quotes address the surrounding passage context rather than this verse alone.
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