TRV
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Public-domain commentary
Matthew Henry
From his Commentary on the Whole Bible. Henry comments on passages, not single verses — this entry covers Ephesians 6:1–9. His two-level outline is real structure in the source text, so it is rendered as structure.
Here we have further directions concerning relative duties, in which the apostle is very particular.
I.The duty of children to their parents.
Come, you children, hearken to me, I will teach you the fear of the Lord. The great duty of children is to obey their parents (Eph 6:1), parents being the instruments of their being, God and nature having given them an authority to command, in subserviency to God; and, if children will be obedient to their pious parents, they will be in a fair way to be pious as they are. That obedience which God demands from their children, in their behalf, includes an inward reverence, as well as the outward expressions and acts. Obey in the Lord. Some take this as a limitation, and understand it thus: "as far as is consistent with your duty to God." We must not disobey our heavenly Father in obedience to earthly parents; for our obligation to God is prior and superior to all others. I take it rather as a reason: "Children, obey your parents; for the Lord has commanded it: obey them therefore for the Lord's sake, and with an eye to him." Or it may be a particular specification of the general duty: "Obey your parents, especially in those things which relate to the Lord. Your parents teach you good manners, and therein you must obey them. They teach you what is for your health, and in this you must obey them: but the chief things in which you are to do it are the things pertaining to the Lord." Religious parents charge their children to keep the ways of the Lord, Gen 18:19. They command them to be found in the way of their duty towards God, and to take heed of those sins most incident to their age; in these things especially they must see that they be obedient. There is a general reason given: For this is right, there is a natural equity in it, God has enjoined it, and it highly becomes Christians. It is the order of nature that parents command and children obey. Though this may seem a hard saying, yet it is duty, and it must be done by such as would please God and approve themselves to him. For the proof of this the apostle quotes the law of the fifth commandment, which Christ was so far from designing to abrogate and repeal that he came to confirm it, as appears by his vindicating it, Mat 15:4, etc. Honour thy father and mother (Eph 6:2), which honour implies reverence, obedience, and relief and maintenance, if these be needed. The apostle adds, which is the first commandment with promise. Some little difficulty arises from this, which we should not overlook, because some who plead for the lawfulness of images bring this as a proof that we are not bound by the second commandment. But there is no manner of force in the argument. The second commandment has not a particular promise; but only a general declaration or assertion, which relates to the whole law of God's keeping mercy for thousands. And then by this is not meant the first commandment of the decalogue that has a promise, for there is no other after it that has, and therefore it would be improper to say it is the first; but the meaning may be this: "This is a prime or chief commandment, and it has a promise; it is the first commandment in the second table, and it has a promise." The promise is, That it may be well with thee, etc., Eph 6:3. Observe, Whereas the promise in the commandment has reference to the land of Canaan, the apostle hereby shows that this and other promises which we have in the Old Testament relating to the land of Canaan are to be understood more generally. That you may not think that the Jews only, to whom God gave the land of Canaan, were bound by the fifth commandment, he here gives it a further sense, That it may be well with thee, etc. Outward prosperity and long life are blessings promised to those who keep this commandment. This is the way to have it well with us, and obedient children are often rewarded with outward prosperity. Not indeed that it is always so; there are instances of such children who meet with much affliction in this life: but ordinarily obedience is thus rewarded, and, where it is not, it is made up with something better. Observe,
1.The gospel has its temporal promises, as well as spiritual ones.
2.Although the authority of God be sufficient to engage us in our duty, yet we are allowed to have respect to the promised reward: and,
3.Though it contains some temporal advantage, even this may be considered as a motive and encouragement to our obedience.
II.The duty of parents:
And you fathers, Eph 6:4. Or, you parents, 1. "Do not provoke your children to wrath. Though God has given you power, you must not abuse that power, remembering that your children are, in a particular manner, pieces of yourselves, and therefore ought to be governed with great tenderness and love. Be not impatient with them, use no unreasonable severities and lay no rigid injunctions upon them. When you caution them, when you counsel them, when you reprove them, do it in such a manner as not to provoke them to wrath. In all such cases deal prudently and wisely with them, endeavouring to convince their judgments and to work upon their reason." 2. "Bring them up well, in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, in the discipline of proper and of compassionate correction, and in the knowledge of that duty which God requires of them and by which they may become better acquainted with him. Give them a good education." It is the great duty of parents to be careful in the education of their children: "Not only bring them up, as the brutes do, taking care to provide for them; but bring them up in nurture and admonition, in such a manner as is suitable to their reasonable natures. Nay, not only bring them up as men, in nurture and admonition, but as Christians, in the admonition of the Lord. Let them have a religious education. Instruct them to fear sinning; and inform them of, and excite them to, the whole of their duty towards God."
III.The duty of servants.
This also is summed up in one word, which is, obedience. He is largest on this article, as knowing there was the greatest need of it. These servants were generally slaves. Civil servitude is not inconsistent with Christian liberty. Those may be the Lord's freemen who are slaves to men. "Your masters according to the flesh (Eph 6:5), that is, who have the command of your bodies, but not of your souls and consciences: God alone has dominion over these." Now, with respect to servants, he exhorts,
1.That they obey with fear and trembling. They are to reverence those who are over them, fearing to displease them, and trembling lest they should justly incur their anger and indignation.
2.That they be sincere in their obedience: In singleness of heart; not pretending obedience when they design disobedience, but serving them with faithfulness.
3.They should have an eye to Jesus Christ in all the service that they perform to their masters (Eph 6:5-7), doing service as to the Lord, and not to men; that is, not to men only or principally. When servants, in the discharge of the duty of their places, have an eye to Christ, this puts an honour upon their obedience, and an acceptableness into it. Service done to their earthly masters, with an eye to him, becomes acceptable service to him also. To have an eye to Christ is to remember that he sees them and is ever present with them, and that his authority obliges them to a faithful and conscientious discharge of the duties of their station.
4.They must not serve their masters with eye-service (Eph 6:6) - that is, only when their master's eye is upon them; but they must be as conscientious in the discharge of their duty, when they are absent and out of the way, because then their Master in heaven beholds them: and therefore they must not act as men-pleasers - as though they had no regard to the pleasing of God, and approving themselves to him, if they can impose upon their masters. Observe, A steady regard to the Lord Jesus Christ will make men faithful and sincere in every station of life.
5.What they do they must do cheerfully: Doing the will of God from the heart, serving their masters as God wills they should, not grudgingly, nor by constraint, but from a principle of love to them and their concerns. This is doing it with good-will (Eph 6:7), which will make their service easy to themselves, pleasing to their masters, and acceptable to the Lord Christ. There should be good-will to their masters, good-will to the families they are in; and especially a readiness to do their duty to God. Observe, Service, performed with conscience, and from a regard to God, though it be to unrighteous masters, will be accounted by Christ as service done to himself.
6.Let faithful servants trust God for their wages, while they do their duty in his fear: Knowing that whatsoever good thing (Eph 6:8), how poor and mean soever it may be, considered in itself, - the same shall he receive of the Lord, that is, by a metonymy, the reward of the same. Though his master on earth should neglect or abuse him, instead of rewarding him, he shall certainly be rewarded by the Lord Christ, whether he be bond or free, whether he be a poor bond-servant or a freeman or master. Christ regards not these differences of men at present; nor will he in the great and final judgment. You think, "A prince, or a magistrate, or a minister, that does his duty here, will be sure to receive his reward in heaven: but what capacity am I, a poor servant, in, of recommending myself to the favour of God." Why, God will as certainly reward thee for the meanest drudgery that is done from a sense of duty and with an eye to himself. And what can be said more proper either to engage or to encourage servants to their duty?
IV.The duty of masters:
"And you masters, do the same things unto them (Eph 6:9); that is, act after the same manner. Be just to them, as you expect they should be to you: show the like good-will and concern for them, and be careful herein to approve yourselves to God." Observe, Masters are under as strict obligations to discharge their duty to their servants as servants are to be obedient and dutiful to them. "Forbearing threatening; anientes - moderating threatening, and remitting the evils with which you threaten them. Remember that your servants are made of the same mould with yourselves, and therefore be not tyrannical and imperious over them, knowing that your Master also is in heaven:" some copies read, both your and their Master. "You have a Master to obey who makes this your duty; and you and they are but fellow-servants in respect of Christ. You will be as punishable by him, for the neglect of your duty, or for acting contrary to it, as any others of meaner condition in the world. You are therefore to show favour to others, as ever you expect to find favour with him; and you will never be a match for him, though you may be too hard for your servants." Neither is there respect of persons with him; a rich, a wealthy, and a dignified master, if he be unjust, imperious, and abusive, is not a jot the nearer being accepted of God for his riches, wealth, and honour. He will call masters and servants to an impartial account for their conduct one to another, and will neither spare the former because they are more advanced nor be severe towards the latter because they are inferior and mean in the world. If both masters and servants would consider their relation and obligation to God and the account they must shortly give to him, they would be more careful of their duty to each other. Thus the apostle concludes his exhortation to relative duties.
Historical interpretation
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That we must obey parents.
In the Epistle of Paul to the Ephesians: "Children, be obedient to your parents: for this is right. Honour thy father and thy mother (which is the first command with promise), that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest be long-lived on the earth."
And that fathers also should not be harsh in respect of their children.
Also in the same place: "And, ye fathers, drive not your children to wrath: but nourish them in the discipline and rebuke of the Lord."
As a man in forming a body, places the head first, after that the neck, then the feet, so does the blessed Paul proceed in his discourse. He has spoken of the husband, he has spoken of the wife, who is second in authority, he now goes on by gradual advances to the third rank-which is that of children. For the husband has authority over the wife, and the husband and the wife over the children.
Here he has not a word of discourse concerning Christ, not a word on high subjects, for he is as yet addressing his discourse to tender understandings. And it is for this reason, moreover, that he makes his exhortation short, inasmuch as children cannot follow up a long argument. For this reason also he does not discourse at all about a kingdom, (because it does not belong to the tender age of childhood to understand these subjects,) but what a child's soul most especially longs to hear, that he says, namely, that it shall "live long." For if any one shall enquire why it is that he omitted to discourse concerning a kingdom, but set before them the commandment laid down in the law, he does this because he speaks to them as infantile, and because he is well aware that if the husband and the wife are thus disposed according to the law which he has laid down, there will be but little trouble in securing the submission of the children. For whenever any matter has a good and sound and orderly principle and foundation, everything will thenceforward go on with method and regularity, with much facility: the more difficult thing is to settle the foundation, to lay down a firm basis. "Children," saith he, "obey your parents in the Lord," that is, according to the Lord. This, he means to say, is what God commands you. But what then if they shall command foolish things? Generally a father, however foolish he may be himself, does not command foolish things. However, even in that case, the Apostle has guarded the matter, by saying, "in the Lord"; that is, wherever you will not be offending against God. So that if the father be a gentile or a heretic, we ought no longer to obey, because the command is not then, "in the Lord." But how is it that he says, "Which is the first commandment"? For the first is, "Thou shalt not commit adultery;-Thou shalt not kill." He does not speak of it then as first in rank, but in respect of the promise. For upon those others there is no reward annexed, as being enacted with reference to evil things, and to departure from evil things. Whereas in these others, where there is the practice of good, there is further a promise held out. And observe how admirable a foundation he has laid for the path of virtue, that is, honor and reverence towards parents. When he would lead us away from wicked practices, and is just about to enter upon virtuous ones, this is the first thing he enjoins, honor towards parents; inasmuch as they before all others are, after God, the authors of our being, so that it is reasonable they should be the first to reap the fruits of our right actions; and then all the rest of mankind. For if a man have not this honor for parents he will never be gentle toward those unconnected with him.
What is promised in honoring one’s father and mother is not intended for the Jews alone, nor was it intended as an outright financial exchange.… For there surely have been many who, even while being obedient to their parents, died abruptly. Others who have been irreverent to their parents have reached extreme old age.… Rightly interpreted, the command looks for the land that the Lord promises to Israel. It is offered to those who have left the spiritual Egypt. It calls us to patience as we traverse the vast and terrible wilderness of this life, as we overcome great challengers whom the Lord strikes down and as we enter into the Judea that flows with milk and honey.
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Summary
Ephesians 6:3 concludes Paul's exhortation to children regarding their obedience and honor toward parents by reiterating a foundational Old Testament promise. This verse assures that adherence to this divine command will result in a life characterized by well-being and longevity on the earth, thereby emphasizing God's design for flourishing within the family unit and society when His moral order is upheld.
Context
Literary Context
Ephesians 6:3 forms the concluding part of Paul's instructions to children within his broader "household codes" (Ephesians 5:22-6:9). These codes provide practical guidance for Christian living within various domestic relationships: wives and husbands, children and parents, and slaves and masters. Specifically, verses 1-3 address children, commanding them to "obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right" (Ephesians 6:1 "Ephesians 6:1 - Children, Obey Your Parents") and to "Honor your father and mother" (Ephesians 6:2 "Ephesians 6:2 - The Fifth Commandment"), which Paul explicitly identifies as "the first commandment with a promise." Verse 3 then articulates this promise, directly quoting from the Decalogue, thereby grounding Christian family ethics in the enduring moral law of God. This placement underscores the foundational importance of familial order to the health of the believing community.
Historical & Cultural Context
In the Greco-Roman world of Paul's time, the concept of patria potestas (the absolute legal authority of the father over his household, including children) was prevalent. While this authority was extensive, Paul's instructions introduce a distinctly Christian nuance. He balances the command for children's obedience with a reciprocal command for fathers not to provoke their children (Ephesians 6:4 "Ephesians 6:4 - Fathers, Do Not Provoke Your Children"). Furthermore, by rooting the command to honor parents in the Old Testament Decalogue, Paul elevates it beyond mere cultural custom to a divine imperative. The promise of well-being and longevity would have resonated deeply in a society where life was often precarious, and familial stability was paramount for survival and prosperity. This command also served as a counter-cultural affirmation of the value of children and the family unit within the nascent Christian communities, distinguishing them from some aspects of pagan society.
Key Themes
This verse significantly contributes to several key themes within Ephesians and broader biblical theology. It highlights the theme of divine order and blessing, demonstrating that God's commands are not arbitrary but are designed for human flourishing. The specific promise of "well-being" and "long life" connects to the Old Testament concept of shalom—a holistic peace and prosperity that encompasses physical, spiritual, and communal well-being, often linked to obedience to God's covenant (see Deuteronomy 28:1-14). The verse also underscores covenant continuity, as Paul directly quotes a commandment from the Mosaic Law (Exodus 20:12) and applies it to New Testament believers, affirming the enduring relevance of God's moral principles. Finally, it reinforces the theme of Christian ethics in daily life, showing how theological truths translate into practical conduct within the most fundamental social unit—the family. The emphasis on "in the Lord" (Ephesians 6:1 "Ephesians 6:1 - Obedience in the Lord") transforms mere social obligation into an act of worship and spiritual discipline.
Exposition and Analysis
Key Word Analysis
This adverb means "good" or "well" and is used to describe a state of flourishing, prosperity, or advantage. In this context, it signifies a desirable outcome, a life that is truly good and blessed by God. It encompasses more than just physical health, extending to overall well-being and success in life's endeavors.
Derived from makros (long) and chronos (time), this adjective literally means "long-timed" or "long-lived." It directly refers to an extended lifespan. In the biblical worldview, a long life was often seen as a sign of God's favor and blessing, contrasting with the premature death that could result from disobedience or judgment.
This term refers to the soil, a region, or the entire terrene globe. In this context, "on the earth" specifies the sphere in which the promise of well-being and longevity is to be experienced. It grounds the blessing in the tangible, present reality of human existence, rather than solely a spiritual or eschatological one.
Verse Breakdown
"That it may be well with thee"
This clause introduces the first part of the divine promise, indicating the positive outcome of honoring parents. The phrase "it may be well" (from hina eu soi genetai) points to a state of general prosperity, happiness, and favorable circumstances. It suggests a life free from undue hardship and filled with God's favor, encompassing physical, emotional, and relational flourishing. This is not a guarantee of a life without challenges, but rather a principle that living in alignment with God's design for family tends to lead to greater stability and blessing.
"and thou mayest live long on the earth"
This second clause specifies the duration of the well-being. "Live long" (from kai esē makrochronios) directly promises an extended lifespan. The addition "on the earth" emphasizes that this blessing is for one's temporal existence. In the Old Testament, a long life was a significant sign of divine blessing and covenant faithfulness (e.g., Deuteronomy 4:40). Paul's inclusion of this promise underscores its enduring relevance for New Testament believers, suggesting that obedience to God's foundational commands contributes to a stable and enduring life.
Literary Devices
The primary literary device employed in Ephesians 6:3 is Allusion/Quotation. Paul directly alludes to and quotes the Fifth Commandment from the Decalogue (Exodus 20:12; Deuteronomy 5:16), making it the "first commandment with promise" as stated in the preceding verse. This direct reference grounds Christian ethical conduct in the enduring moral law of God, establishing continuity between the Old and New Covenants. The verse also functions as a Conditional Promise, where the blessing ("well with thee," "live long") is contingent upon the fulfillment of the condition ("honor your father and mother"). This structure highlights the principle of divine reciprocity, where obedience to God's commands yields tangible benefits. Furthermore, the phrase "well with thee" can be seen as a form of Merism, encompassing a broad range of positive outcomes, from material prosperity to spiritual peace, thereby signifying holistic flourishing.
Theological and Thematic Connections
Ephesians 6:3 profoundly connects the practical act of honoring parents to the broader theological principle of divine blessing and the order of creation. It underscores that God's commands are not arbitrary restrictions but pathways to human flourishing. The promise of "well-being" and "long life" echoes the wisdom tradition of the Old Testament, where obedience to God's instruction consistently leads to a blessed and stable existence. This verse affirms that the family unit, as ordained by God, is a primary sphere where His principles of order and blessing are to be lived out, and that honoring those in authority (starting with parents) is fundamental to both individual and societal stability. It teaches that while salvation is by grace through faith, God still operates on principles of cause and effect in the temporal realm, where obedience often brings tangible benefits.
Reflection and Application
Ephesians 6:3 serves as a powerful reminder that God's design for family is not merely a cultural construct but a divine blueprint for human flourishing. For children, it is a clear and simple command to obey and honor parents, recognizing that this act is not just a social nicety but a spiritual discipline that aligns with God's will and invites His blessing. For adults, it broadens our understanding of honor, extending to how we respect and care for our aging parents, or even how we honor those in authority over us in various spheres of life, as a reflection of our submission to God's established order. The promise of "well-being" and "long life" reminds us that while we live in a fallen world where suffering is inevitable, living in harmony with God's principles generally leads to a more stable, peaceful, and productive life. It encourages us to trust that God's ways are always for our good, even when they require humility and submission. Ultimately, this verse calls us to cultivate a posture of honor and respect within our families and beyond, believing that such a life is both pleasing to God and beneficial for us.
Questions for Reflection
FAQ
Does the promise of "well-being" and "long life" mean that obedient children will never face hardship or die young?
While the promise in Ephesians 6:3 (and its Old Testament source in Exodus 20:12) is a genuine divine blessing, it should be understood as a general principle rather than an absolute, literal guarantee for every individual in every circumstance. In the biblical worldview, particularly in the Old Testament wisdom literature, obedience to God's commands generally leads to a stable, prosperous, and long life, while disobedience often results in hardship and premature death. However, we live in a fallen world where sin, suffering, and death affect everyone, regardless of their obedience. Righteous individuals may still face hardship, illness, or early death (e.g., Isaiah 57:1). The promise signifies that living in alignment with God's design for family and society tends to create conditions conducive to a more stable and fulfilling life, both individually and communally. It reflects God's good intention for humanity and the natural consequences of living in harmony with His moral order.
Christ-Centered Fulfillment
Ephesians 6:3, with its promise of well-being and long life for those who honor their parents, finds its ultimate and most profound fulfillment in Jesus Christ. Jesus perfectly embodied absolute obedience to His heavenly Father, even to the point of death on a cross (Philippians 2:8). His perfect life of honor and submission to the Father's will is the foundation for the "well-being" and "long life" that believers now experience in Him. Through Christ's atoning work, we are granted not merely a long temporal life, but eternal life and spiritual flourishing in God's presence (John 3:16). The "earth" upon which we live long is transformed by Christ's redemptive work, pointing to the new heavens and new earth where righteousness dwells and true, unending well-being is realized (Revelation 21:1-4). Thus, while the command to honor parents remains a vital ethical principle for believers, the deepest blessing of "well-being" and "long life" is secured for us in Christ, who perfectly fulfilled all righteousness and now grants us access to a life that is eternally well and unending. Our obedience to the Fifth Commandment, therefore, becomes an expression of our new life in Christ, participating in the divine order He established and perfectly exemplified.