TRV
Study This Verse
Public-domain commentary
Matthew Henry
From his Commentary on the Whole Bible. Henry comments on passages, not single verses — this entry covers Ephesians 6:1–9. His two-level outline is real structure in the source text, so it is rendered as structure.
Here we have further directions concerning relative duties, in which the apostle is very particular.
I.The duty of children to their parents.
Come, you children, hearken to me, I will teach you the fear of the Lord. The great duty of children is to obey their parents (Eph 6:1), parents being the instruments of their being, God and nature having given them an authority to command, in subserviency to God; and, if children will be obedient to their pious parents, they will be in a fair way to be pious as they are. That obedience which God demands from their children, in their behalf, includes an inward reverence, as well as the outward expressions and acts. Obey in the Lord. Some take this as a limitation, and understand it thus: "as far as is consistent with your duty to God." We must not disobey our heavenly Father in obedience to earthly parents; for our obligation to God is prior and superior to all others. I take it rather as a reason: "Children, obey your parents; for the Lord has commanded it: obey them therefore for the Lord's sake, and with an eye to him." Or it may be a particular specification of the general duty: "Obey your parents, especially in those things which relate to the Lord. Your parents teach you good manners, and therein you must obey them. They teach you what is for your health, and in this you must obey them: but the chief things in which you are to do it are the things pertaining to the Lord." Religious parents charge their children to keep the ways of the Lord, Gen 18:19. They command them to be found in the way of their duty towards God, and to take heed of those sins most incident to their age; in these things especially they must see that they be obedient. There is a general reason given: For this is right, there is a natural equity in it, God has enjoined it, and it highly becomes Christians. It is the order of nature that parents command and children obey. Though this may seem a hard saying, yet it is duty, and it must be done by such as would please God and approve themselves to him. For the proof of this the apostle quotes the law of the fifth commandment, which Christ was so far from designing to abrogate and repeal that he came to confirm it, as appears by his vindicating it, Mat 15:4, etc. Honour thy father and mother (Eph 6:2), which honour implies reverence, obedience, and relief and maintenance, if these be needed. The apostle adds, which is the first commandment with promise. Some little difficulty arises from this, which we should not overlook, because some who plead for the lawfulness of images bring this as a proof that we are not bound by the second commandment. But there is no manner of force in the argument. The second commandment has not a particular promise; but only a general declaration or assertion, which relates to the whole law of God's keeping mercy for thousands. And then by this is not meant the first commandment of the decalogue that has a promise, for there is no other after it that has, and therefore it would be improper to say it is the first; but the meaning may be this: "This is a prime or chief commandment, and it has a promise; it is the first commandment in the second table, and it has a promise." The promise is, That it may be well with thee, etc., Eph 6:3. Observe, Whereas the promise in the commandment has reference to the land of Canaan, the apostle hereby shows that this and other promises which we have in the Old Testament relating to the land of Canaan are to be understood more generally. That you may not think that the Jews only, to whom God gave the land of Canaan, were bound by the fifth commandment, he here gives it a further sense, That it may be well with thee, etc. Outward prosperity and long life are blessings promised to those who keep this commandment. This is the way to have it well with us, and obedient children are often rewarded with outward prosperity. Not indeed that it is always so; there are instances of such children who meet with much affliction in this life: but ordinarily obedience is thus rewarded, and, where it is not, it is made up with something better. Observe,
1.The gospel has its temporal promises, as well as spiritual ones.
2.Although the authority of God be sufficient to engage us in our duty, yet we are allowed to have respect to the promised reward: and,
3.Though it contains some temporal advantage, even this may be considered as a motive and encouragement to our obedience.
II.The duty of parents:
And you fathers, Eph 6:4. Or, you parents, 1. "Do not provoke your children to wrath. Though God has given you power, you must not abuse that power, remembering that your children are, in a particular manner, pieces of yourselves, and therefore ought to be governed with great tenderness and love. Be not impatient with them, use no unreasonable severities and lay no rigid injunctions upon them. When you caution them, when you counsel them, when you reprove them, do it in such a manner as not to provoke them to wrath. In all such cases deal prudently and wisely with them, endeavouring to convince their judgments and to work upon their reason." 2. "Bring them up well, in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, in the discipline of proper and of compassionate correction, and in the knowledge of that duty which God requires of them and by which they may become better acquainted with him. Give them a good education." It is the great duty of parents to be careful in the education of their children: "Not only bring them up, as the brutes do, taking care to provide for them; but bring them up in nurture and admonition, in such a manner as is suitable to their reasonable natures. Nay, not only bring them up as men, in nurture and admonition, but as Christians, in the admonition of the Lord. Let them have a religious education. Instruct them to fear sinning; and inform them of, and excite them to, the whole of their duty towards God."
III.The duty of servants.
This also is summed up in one word, which is, obedience. He is largest on this article, as knowing there was the greatest need of it. These servants were generally slaves. Civil servitude is not inconsistent with Christian liberty. Those may be the Lord's freemen who are slaves to men. "Your masters according to the flesh (Eph 6:5), that is, who have the command of your bodies, but not of your souls and consciences: God alone has dominion over these." Now, with respect to servants, he exhorts,
1.That they obey with fear and trembling. They are to reverence those who are over them, fearing to displease them, and trembling lest they should justly incur their anger and indignation.
2.That they be sincere in their obedience: In singleness of heart; not pretending obedience when they design disobedience, but serving them with faithfulness.
3.They should have an eye to Jesus Christ in all the service that they perform to their masters (Eph 6:5-7), doing service as to the Lord, and not to men; that is, not to men only or principally. When servants, in the discharge of the duty of their places, have an eye to Christ, this puts an honour upon their obedience, and an acceptableness into it. Service done to their earthly masters, with an eye to him, becomes acceptable service to him also. To have an eye to Christ is to remember that he sees them and is ever present with them, and that his authority obliges them to a faithful and conscientious discharge of the duties of their station.
4.They must not serve their masters with eye-service (Eph 6:6) - that is, only when their master's eye is upon them; but they must be as conscientious in the discharge of their duty, when they are absent and out of the way, because then their Master in heaven beholds them: and therefore they must not act as men-pleasers - as though they had no regard to the pleasing of God, and approving themselves to him, if they can impose upon their masters. Observe, A steady regard to the Lord Jesus Christ will make men faithful and sincere in every station of life.
5.What they do they must do cheerfully: Doing the will of God from the heart, serving their masters as God wills they should, not grudgingly, nor by constraint, but from a principle of love to them and their concerns. This is doing it with good-will (Eph 6:7), which will make their service easy to themselves, pleasing to their masters, and acceptable to the Lord Christ. There should be good-will to their masters, good-will to the families they are in; and especially a readiness to do their duty to God. Observe, Service, performed with conscience, and from a regard to God, though it be to unrighteous masters, will be accounted by Christ as service done to himself.
6.Let faithful servants trust God for their wages, while they do their duty in his fear: Knowing that whatsoever good thing (Eph 6:8), how poor and mean soever it may be, considered in itself, - the same shall he receive of the Lord, that is, by a metonymy, the reward of the same. Though his master on earth should neglect or abuse him, instead of rewarding him, he shall certainly be rewarded by the Lord Christ, whether he be bond or free, whether he be a poor bond-servant or a freeman or master. Christ regards not these differences of men at present; nor will he in the great and final judgment. You think, "A prince, or a magistrate, or a minister, that does his duty here, will be sure to receive his reward in heaven: but what capacity am I, a poor servant, in, of recommending myself to the favour of God." Why, God will as certainly reward thee for the meanest drudgery that is done from a sense of duty and with an eye to himself. And what can be said more proper either to engage or to encourage servants to their duty?
IV.The duty of masters:
"And you masters, do the same things unto them (Eph 6:9); that is, act after the same manner. Be just to them, as you expect they should be to you: show the like good-will and concern for them, and be careful herein to approve yourselves to God." Observe, Masters are under as strict obligations to discharge their duty to their servants as servants are to be obedient and dutiful to them. "Forbearing threatening; anientes - moderating threatening, and remitting the evils with which you threaten them. Remember that your servants are made of the same mould with yourselves, and therefore be not tyrannical and imperious over them, knowing that your Master also is in heaven:" some copies read, both your and their Master. "You have a Master to obey who makes this your duty; and you and they are but fellow-servants in respect of Christ. You will be as punishable by him, for the neglect of your duty, or for acting contrary to it, as any others of meaner condition in the world. You are therefore to show favour to others, as ever you expect to find favour with him; and you will never be a match for him, though you may be too hard for your servants." Neither is there respect of persons with him; a rich, a wealthy, and a dignified master, if he be unjust, imperious, and abusive, is not a jot the nearer being accepted of God for his riches, wealth, and honour. He will call masters and servants to an impartial account for their conduct one to another, and will neither spare the former because they are more advanced nor be severe towards the latter because they are inferior and mean in the world. If both masters and servants would consider their relation and obligation to God and the account they must shortly give to him, they would be more careful of their duty to each other. Thus the apostle concludes his exhortation to relative duties.
Historical interpretation
Three Centuries of Reception
7 surviving comments on this verse. Each one is dated, so this reads as a timeline rather than a list.
Select a marker to jump to its quote. Markers stagger vertically where authors wrote within a few decades of each other.
Ye children, reverence your parents. Ye parents, "bring up your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
May I have pleasure in your purity, as that of Elijah, or as of Joshua the son of Nun, as of Melchizedek, or as of Elisha, as of Jeremiah, or as of John the Baptist, as of the beloved disciple, as of Timothy, as of Titus, as of Evodius, as of Clement, who departed this life in [perfect] chastity, Not, however, that I blame the other blessed [saints] because they entered into the married state, of which I have just spoken. For I pray that, being found worthy of God, I may be found at their feet in the kingdom, as at the feet of Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob; as of Joseph, and Isaiah, and the rest of the prophets; as of Peter, and Paul, and the rest of the apostles, that were married men. For they entered into these marriages not for the sake of appetite, but out of regard for the propagation of mankind. Fathers, "bring up your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord; " and teach them the holy Scriptures, and also trades, that they may not indulge in idleness. Now [the Scripture] says, "A righteous father educates [his children] well; his heart shall rejoice in a wise son."
Ye husbands, love your wives; and ye wives, your husbands. Ye children, reverence your parents. Ye parents, "bring up your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Honour those [who continue] in virginity, as the priestesses of Christ; and the widows [that persevere] in gravity of behaviour, as the altar of God.
" Again, (the apostle writes: ) "Parents, bring up your children in the fear and admonition of the Lord." For you have heard how it was said to them of old time: "Ye shall relate these things to your children; and your children in like manner to their children.
That we must obey parents.
In the Epistle of Paul to the Ephesians: "Children, be obedient to your parents: for this is right. Honour thy father and thy mother (which is the first command with promise), that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest be long-lived on the earth."
And that fathers also should not be harsh in respect of their children.
Also in the same place: "And, ye fathers, drive not your children to wrath: but nourish them in the discipline and rebuke of the Lord."
In this manner let examination be made when he is to receive ordination, and to be placed in his bishopric, whether he be grave, faithful, decent; whether he hath a grave and faithful-wife, or has formerly had such a one; whether he hath educated his children piously, and has "brought them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord; ".
I have taught the poor to rejoice in their own poverty; I have taught fathers to teach their children instruction in the fear of the Lord, children to obey their parents in wholesome admonition;
He does not say, "love them," because to this nature draws them even against their own will, and it were superfluous to lay down a law on such subjects. But what does he say? "Provoke not your children to wrath," as many do by disinheriting them, and disowning them, and treating them overbearingly, not as free, but as slaves. This is why he says, "Provoke not your children to wrath." Then, which is the chief thing of all, he shows how they will be led to obedience, referring the whole source of it to the head and chief authority. And in the same way as he has shown the husband to be the cause of the wife's obedience, (which is the reason also why he addresses the greater part of his arguments to him, advising him to attach her to himself by the power of love,) so, I say, here also, he refers the efficiency to him, by saying, "But bring them up in the chastening and admonition of the Lord." Thou seest that where there are spiritual ties, the natural ties will follow. Do you wish your son to be obedient? From the very first "Bring him up in the chastening and admonition of the Lord." Never deem it an unnecessary thing that he should be a diligent hearer of the divine Scriptures. For there the first thing he hears will be this, "Honor thy father and thy mother"; so that this makes for thee. Never say, this is the business of monks. Am I making a monk of him? No. There is no need he should become a monk. Why be so afraid of a thing so replete with so much advantage? Make him a Christian. For it is of all things necessary for laymen to be acquainted with the lessons derived from this source; but especially for children. For theirs is an age full of folly; and to this folly are superadded the bad examples derived from the heathen tales, where they are made acquainted with those heroes so admired amongst them, slaves of their passions, and cowards with regard to death; as, for example, Achilles, when he relents, when he dies for his concubine, when another gets drunk, and many other things of the sort. He requires therefore the remedies against these things. How is it not absurd to send children out to trades, and to school, and to do all you can for these objects, and yet, not to "bring them up in the chastening and admonition of the Lord"? And for this reason truly we are the first to reap the fruits, because we bring up our children to be insolent and profligate, disobedient, and mere vulgar fellows. Let us not then do this; no, let us listen to this blessed Apostle's admonition. "Let us bring them up in the chastening and admonition of the Lord." Let us give them a pattern. Let us make them from the earliest age apply themselves to the reading of the Scriptures.
Why, tell me, do ye not imitate them of old? Ye women, especially, emulate those admirable women. Has a child been born to any one? Imitate Hannah's example; look at what she did. She brought him up at once to the temple. Who amongst you would not rather that his son should become a Samuel than that he should be king of the whole world ten thousand times over? "And how," you will say, "is it possible he should become such a one?" Why is it not possible? It is because thou dost not choose it thyself, nor committest him to the care of those who are able to make him such a one. "And who," it will be said, "is such a one as this?" God. Since she put him into the hands of God. For not even Eli himself was one of those in any great degree qualified to form him; (how could he be, he who was not able to form even his own children?) No, it was the faith of the mother and her earnest zeal that wrought the whole. He was her first child, and her only one, and she knew not whether she should ever have others besides. Yet she did not say, "I will wait till the child is grown up, that he may have a taste of the things of this life, I will allow him to have his pastime in them a little in his childish years." No, all these thoughts the woman repudiated, she was absorbed in one object, how from the very beginning she might dedicate the spiritual image to God. Well may we men be put to the blush at the wisdom of this woman. She offered him up to God, and there she left him. And therefore was her married state more glorious, in that she had made spiritual objects her first care, in that she dedicated the first-fruits to God. Therefore was her womb fruitful, and she obtained other children besides. And therefore she saw him honorable even in the world. For if men when they are honored, render honor in return, will not God much more, He who does this, even without being honored? How long are we to be mere lumps of flesh? How long are we to be stooping to the earth? Let everything be secondary with us to the provident care we should take of our children, and to our "bringing them up in the chastening and admonition of the Lord."
If from the very first he is taught to be a lover of true wisdom, then wealth greater than all wealth has he acquired and a more imposing name. You will effect nothing so great by teaching him an art, and giving him that outward learning by which he will gain riches, as if you teach him the art of despising riches. If you desire to make him rich, do this. For the rich man is not he who desires great riches, and is encircled with great riches; but the man who has need of nothing. Discipline your son in this, teach him this. This is the greatest riches. Seek not how to give him reputation and high character in outward learning, but consider deeply how you shall teach him to despise the glory that belongs to this present life. By this means would he become more distinguished and more truly glorious. This it is possible for the poor man and the rich man alike to accomplish. These are lessons which a man does not learn from a master, nor by art, but by means of the divine oracles. Seek not how he shall enjoy a long life here, but how he shall enjoy a boundless and endless life hereafter. Give him the great things, not the little things. Hear what Paul saith, "Bring them up in the chastening and admonition of the Lord"; study not to make him an orator, but train him up to be a philosopher. In the want of the one there will be no harm whatever; in the absence of the other, all the rhetoric in the world will be of no advantage. Tempers are wanted, not talking; character, not cleverness; deeds, not words. These gain a man the kingdom. These confer what are benefits indeed. Whet not his tongue, but cleanse his soul. I do not say this to prevent your teaching him these things, but to prevent your attending to them exclusively.
Do not imagine that the monk alone stands in need of these lessons from Scripture. Of all others, the children just about to enter into the world specially need them. For just in the same way as the man who is always at anchor in harbor, is not the man who requires his ship to be fitted out and who needs a pilot and a crew, but he who is always out at sea; so is it with the man of the world and the monk. The one is entered as it were into a waveless harbor, and lives an untroubled life, and far removed from every storm; whilst the other is ever on the ocean, and lives out at sea in the very midst of the ocean, battling with billows without number.
And though he may not need it himself, still he ought to be so prepared as to stop the mouths of others. Thus the more distinguished he is in the present life, so much the more he stands in need of this education. If he passes his life in courts, there are many Heathens, and philosophers, and persons puffed up with the glory of this life. It is like a place full of dropsical people. Such in some sort is the court. All are, as it were, puffed up, and in a state of inflammation. And they who are not so are studying to become so. Now then reflect how vast a benefit it is, that your son on entering there, should enter like an excellent physician, furnished with instruments which may allay every one's peculiar inflammation, and should go up to every one, and converse with him, and restore the diseased body to health, applying the remedies derived from the Scriptures, and pouring forth discourses of the true philosophy.
Surround them not with outward defenses. For such is wealth, such is glory; for when these fall, and they do fall, the plant stands naked and defenseless, not only having derived no profit from them during the time past, but even injury. For those very shelters that prevented its being inured to the attacks of the winds, will now have prepared it for perishing all at once. And so wealth is injurious rather, because it renders us undisciplined for the vicissitudes of life. Let us therefore train up our children to be such, that they shall be able to bear up against every trial, and not be surprised at what may come upon them; "let us bring them up in the chastening and admonition of the Lord." And great will be the reward which will be thus laid up in store for us. For if men for making statues and painting portraits of kings enjoy so great honor, shall not we who adorn the image of the King of kings, (for man is the image of God,) receive ten thousand blessings, if we effect a true likeness? For the likeness is in this, in the virtue of the soul, when we train our children to be good, to be meek, to be forgiving, (because all these are attributes of God,) to be beneficent, to be humane; when we train them to regard the present world as nothing. Let this then be our task, to mold and to direct both ourselves and them according to what is right. Otherwise with what sort of boldness shall we stand before the judgment-seat of Christ? If a man who has unruly children is unworthy to be a Bishop, much more is he unworthy of the kingdom of Heaven. What sayest thou? If we have an unruly wife, or unruly children, shall we have to render account? Yes, we shall, if we do not with exactness bring in that which is due from ourselves; for our own individual virtue is not enough in order to salvation. If the man who laid aside the one talent gained nothing, but was punished even in such a manner, it is plain that one's own individual virtue is not enough in order to salvation, but there is need of that of another also. Let us therefore entertain great solicitude for our wives, and take great care of our children, and of our servants, and of ourselves. And in our government both of ourselves and of them, let us beseech God that He aid us in the work.
Instead of asking parents to give their children a fancy education in secular literature, instead of making them read comedies and recite the obscene writings of the theater, he asks the Ephesian laypersons, many of whom, as is common in a population, were engaged in the ordinary occupations of this life, that they should “educate their children in every doctrine and counsel of the Lord.” Overseers and elders ought to take note of this.
Continue studying Ephesians 6:4 across the web’s major study libraries — every link below opens this exact verse, chapter, or book on the destination site.
Read & Compare
BibleGatewayThis verse in more than 200 translations and 70 languages.
Bible.comThe YouVersion reader — hundreds of translations, reading plans, and highlights.
ESV.orgCrossway's official English Standard Version reader.
NET BibleThe NET translation with 60,000+ translators' notes on every rendering decision.
STEP BibleTyndale House's free study tool — original text, vocabulary, and scholarly resources.
BibliaLogos Bible Software's free web reader.
USCCBThe New American Bible (Revised Edition) with the U.S. bishops' study notes.
Commentaries
BibleHub CommentariesDozens of classic commentaries on this verse, gathered on one page.
StudyLightMore than 100 commentary sets — the largest collection on the web.
BibleRefPlain-English commentary on what this verse means, verse by verse.
Enduring WordDavid Guzik's free commentary on this chapter, widely used by Bible teachers.
Bible Study ToolsVerse commentary alongside Greek and Hebrew study aids.
Original Language & Research
- BibleHub InterlinearThe verse word by word — original language, transliteration, and English.
- BibleHub LexiconEvery word's original-language definition and Strong's entry.
Blue Letter BibleDeep-study tools — Strong's numbers, concordance, and word studies.
CNTR CollationThe earliest Greek manuscripts of this verse, collated letter by letter.
Sermons, Hymns & Audio
TrulyRandomVerse is not affiliated with these sites and doesn’t control their content. They’re linked because they’re genuinely useful.
Summary
Ephesians 6:4 provides a foundational instruction to fathers, balancing a crucial negative command against exasperating children with a positive directive to raise them in the Lord's "nurture and admonition." This verse underscores the father's primary spiritual responsibility within the household, calling for a parenting approach that is both loving and firm, aimed at fostering spiritual maturity rather than resentment.
Context
Literary Context
This verse is situated within Paul's "household codes" (Ephesians 5:21-6:9), a section that applies the overarching theological principles of unity in Christ and Spirit-filled living (Ephesians 4-5) to specific relational dynamics within the Christian home and society. Following detailed instructions for wives and husbands, and for children to obey their parents in the Lord, Paul specifically addresses fathers. This placement highlights the father's pivotal role in the family structure, emphasizing that their authority, though significant, must be exercised in a manner consistent with Christian love and the example of Christ's headship over the church. The immediate flow of thought moves from children's obedience to parental responsibility, ensuring a balanced and reciprocal understanding of family duties.
Historical & Cultural Context
In the Greco-Roman world of Paul's time, the patria potestas (father's power) was a pervasive legal and cultural norm, granting fathers almost absolute authority over their children, including the power of life and death, sale into slavery, and arranged marriages. Children were considered property, and their upbringing often involved harsh discipline and strict obedience. Paul's instruction here is remarkably counter-cultural. By commanding fathers not to provoke their children to wrath, he introduces a revolutionary concept of parental empathy and restraint. Furthermore, by directing them to raise children "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord," he elevates parenting from a mere societal obligation to a spiritual vocation, subverting pagan norms with Christ-centered principles. This radically redefines the father's role from an authoritarian figure to a loving, spiritual guide.
Key Themes
Ephesians 6:4 contributes significantly to several key themes within the letter. It reinforces the theme of Christian household order, demonstrating how Spirit-filled living transforms even the most fundamental social units. It elaborates on responsible leadership, particularly within the family, by placing a unique spiritual burden on fathers. The verse also highlights the theme of holistic discipleship, emphasizing that the Christian faith is not merely for adults but must be intentionally transmitted to the next generation, shaping their character and worldview from an early age. This aligns with the broader call to walk worthy of the calling by living out Christian principles in every sphere of life, including the intimate setting of the family.
Exposition and Analysis
Key Word Analysis
Meaning "to anger alongside, i.e. enrage." This word implies causing someone to become intensely angry or exasperated. In the context of parenting, it refers to actions or a pattern of behavior that consistently frustrates, embitters, or incites resentment in children. Such actions might include unreasonable demands, constant criticism, favoritism, harsh or inconsistent discipline, neglect, or a lack of understanding and patience. The negative command "provoke not" thus warns against any conduct that would drive a child to a state of sustained anger or bitterness rather than fostering a spirit of cooperation and love.
Meaning "tutorage, i.e. education or training; by implication, disciplinary correction." This term encompasses the entire process of child-rearing, including instruction, discipline, and correction, all aimed at character formation and maturity. It's a comprehensive concept that includes both teaching and the corrective measures necessary to guide a child towards spiritual and moral development. It implies a formative process that is not merely punitive but educative and shaping, akin to the way a craftsman shapes a work of art.
Meaning "calling attention to, i.e. (by implication) mild rebuke or warning." This word specifically refers to verbal instruction, counsel, and warning, often with a corrective or cautionary element. It emphasizes the importance of communication in guiding children's minds and consciences. While "nurture" covers the broader training, "admonition" focuses on the verbal aspect—teaching, reminding, encouraging, and gently correcting through words of truth and wisdom. Both "nurture" and "admonition" are qualified by "of the Lord," indicating that their content and method must be rooted in divine principles.
Verse Breakdown
"And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath:"
This is a direct, negative command primarily addressed to fathers, who held significant authority in the ancient world. The prohibition "provoke not" (G3949, parorgízō) warns against any form of parenting that would exasperate, frustrate, or embitter children, leading them to anger or resentment. This includes harshness, unfairness, inconsistency, excessive demands, or neglect that undermines a child's spirit and fosters rebellion rather than obedience. It calls for patience, understanding, and grace in the exercise of parental authority.
"but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
This is the positive counter-command, introduced by the strong adversative "but" (G235, allá). It mandates an active, intentional, and holistic approach to parenting. "Bring them up" (G1625, ektréphō) implies a process of rearing to maturity, cherishing, and training. This upbringing must occur "in the nurture" (G3809, paideía), referring to the comprehensive training and discipline that shapes character, and "admonition" (G3559, nouthesía), which signifies verbal instruction, counsel, and warning. Crucially, both aspects must be "of the Lord" (G2962, kýrios), meaning their source, content, and goal are derived from and centered on the teachings, character, and will of Jesus Christ. This ensures that the parenting is not based on human wisdom or cultural trends, but on divine truth, aiming to raise children who know, love, and serve God.
Literary Devices
Paul employs several effective literary devices in Ephesians 6:4 to convey his profound message. The most prominent is Antithesis, where a negative command ("provoke not your children to wrath") is immediately contrasted with a positive command ("but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord"). This sharp contrast clarifies both what fathers should not do and what they should do, providing a balanced and comprehensive instruction. The use of Imperative Mood throughout the verse ("provoke not," "bring them up") underscores the authoritative and non-negotiable nature of these commands, highlighting their importance for Christian conduct. Furthermore, the phrase "of the Lord" functions as a powerful Qualifier, emphasizing that both the "nurture" and "admonition" must be divinely informed and directed, elevating the act of parenting from a mere earthly duty to a sacred calling rooted in Christ.
Theological and Thematic Connections
Ephesians 6:4 offers profound theological insights into the nature of Christian fatherhood and the divine design for family. It reveals that parental authority, particularly that of the father, is not absolute or for personal gratification, but a stewardship entrusted by God, to be exercised with love, wisdom, and a view towards the child's spiritual formation. The command to avoid provoking children to wrath reflects God's own character—His patience, understanding, and desire for His children's well-being, rather than their exasperation. The positive command to nurture and admonish "of the Lord" underscores that true Christian parenting is inherently discipleship, aiming to integrate children into the covenant community and guide them toward a personal relationship with Christ, reflecting the ultimate Fatherhood of God.
Reflection and Application
Ephesians 6:4 is a timeless and challenging mandate for parents, especially fathers. It calls for a profound shift from authoritarianism to spiritual leadership, demanding intentionality, patience, and self-control. To "provoke not" means to cultivate an atmosphere of grace, understanding, and fairness, where discipline is corrective and redemptive, not punitive or embittering. It requires parents to examine their own hearts for anger, inconsistency, or favoritism that might wound a child's spirit. Conversely, to "bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" is a lifelong commitment to discipling children in every facet of their lives—intellectual, emotional, and spiritual. This involves teaching them God's Word, modeling Christ-like character, praying with and for them, and guiding them to understand and live out their faith in a practical way. It's about shaping their worldview with biblical truth, equipping them to navigate life's challenges with faith, hope, and love, ultimately preparing them for a life of devoted service to God.
Questions for Reflection
FAQ
What does it mean to "provoke not your children to wrath"?
To "provoke not your children to wrath" means to avoid any parenting behaviors that consistently frustrate, exasperate, or embitter your children, leading them to deep-seated anger or resentment. This includes actions like being overly harsh, inconsistent in discipline, showing favoritism, making unreasonable demands, constantly criticizing, or neglecting their emotional and spiritual needs. The goal is to foster an environment where children feel loved, understood, and respected, allowing them to grow in a healthy manner without developing bitterness or rebellion. This command is echoed in Colossians 3:21.
What is the difference between "nurture" and "admonition" in this verse?
"Nurture" (Greek: paideía) refers to the comprehensive training and discipline involved in raising a child to maturity. It encompasses all aspects of their development—physical, intellectual, moral, and spiritual—and includes both instruction and corrective measures. It's about the overall shaping of their character. "Admonition" (Greek: nouthesía) specifically refers to verbal instruction, counsel, and warning. It emphasizes the importance of teaching, reminding, and gently correcting through words. While "nurture" is the broader process of upbringing, "admonition" is the verbal component that guides the child's mind and conscience. Both are essential and must be "of the Lord," meaning they are rooted in God's Word and character, as seen in Deuteronomy 6:7.
Christ-Centered Fulfillment
Ephesians 6:4 finds its ultimate Christ-centered fulfillment in the perfect Fatherhood of God and the redemptive work of Jesus Christ. God, our heavenly Father, never provokes His children to wrath; rather, He is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. His discipline, though sometimes painful, is always for our good, designed to bring us to maturity and holiness, not to embitter us, as highlighted in Hebrews 12:5-11. Furthermore, Christ Himself is the embodiment of the nurture and admonition of the Lord. He is the Word made flesh, who perfectly teaches, counsels, and corrects His disciples, leading them into all truth (John 14:26). Christian fathers are called to image this divine Fatherhood, modeling their parenting after God's patient, loving, and redemptive discipline, and actively discipling their children in the way of Christ. The goal is not merely well-behaved children, but children who are brought into a saving relationship with the Lord Jesus, growing in His likeness through the power of the Spirit, just as believers are called to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.