Ephesians 6:4

KJV

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

KJV (with Strong's)

And {G2532}, ye fathers {G3962}, provoke {G3949} not {G3361} your {G5216} children {G5043} to wrath {G3949}: but {G235} bring {G1625} them {G846} up {G1625} in {G1722} the nurture {G3809} and {G2532} admonition {G3559} of the Lord {G2962}.

Complete Jewish Bible

Fathers, don’t irritate your children and make them resentful; instead, raise them with the Lord’s kind of discipline and guidance.

Berean Standard Bible

Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath; instead, bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

American Standard Version

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but nurture them in the chastening and admonition of the Lord.

Commentary

### SUMMARY
Ephesians 6:4 provides a foundational instruction to fathers, balancing a crucial negative command against exasperating children with a positive directive to raise them in the Lord's "nurture and admonition." This verse underscores the father's primary spiritual responsibility within the household, calling for a parenting approach that is both loving and firm, aimed at fostering spiritual maturity rather than resentment.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** This verse is situated within Paul's "household codes" (Ephesians 5:21-6:9), a section that applies the overarching theological principles of unity in Christ and Spirit-filled living (Ephesians 4-5) to specific relational dynamics within the Christian home and society. Following detailed instructions for wives and husbands, and for children to obey their parents [in the Lord](/ephesians/6-1 "Ephesians 6:1 - Children Obey Parents"), Paul specifically addresses fathers. This placement highlights the father's pivotal role in the family structure, emphasizing that their authority, though significant, must be exercised in a manner consistent with Christian love and the example of Christ's headship over the church. The immediate flow of thought moves from children's obedience to parental responsibility, ensuring a balanced and reciprocal understanding of family duties.

* **Historical & Cultural Context:** In the Greco-Roman world of Paul's time, the *patria potestas* (father's power) was a pervasive legal and cultural norm, granting fathers almost absolute authority over their children, including the power of life and death, sale into slavery, and arranged marriages. Children were considered property, and their upbringing often involved harsh discipline and strict obedience. Paul's instruction here is remarkably counter-cultural. By commanding fathers *not* to provoke their children to wrath, he introduces a revolutionary concept of parental empathy and restraint. Furthermore, by directing them to raise children "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord," he elevates parenting from a mere societal obligation to a spiritual vocation, subverting pagan norms with Christ-centered principles. This radically redefines the father's role from an authoritarian figure to a loving, spiritual guide.

* **Key Themes:** Ephesians 6:4 contributes significantly to several key themes within the letter. It reinforces the theme of **Christian household order**, demonstrating how Spirit-filled living transforms even the most fundamental social units. It elaborates on **responsible leadership**, particularly within the family, by placing a unique spiritual burden on fathers. The verse also highlights the theme of **holistic discipleship**, emphasizing that the Christian faith is not merely for adults but must be intentionally transmitted to the next generation, shaping their character and worldview from an early age. This aligns with the broader call to [walk worthy of the calling](/ephesians/4-1 "Ephesians 4:1 - Walk Worthy") by living out Christian principles in every sphere of life, including the intimate setting of the family.

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS

#### Key Word Analysis
* **Provoke (Greek, _parorgízō'_):** From G3949, meaning "to anger alongside, i.e. enrage." This word implies causing someone to become intensely angry or exasperated. In the context of parenting, it refers to actions or a pattern of behavior that consistently frustrates, embitters, or incites resentment in children. Such actions might include unreasonable demands, constant criticism, favoritism, harsh or inconsistent discipline, neglect, or a lack of understanding and patience. The negative command "provoke not" thus warns against any conduct that would drive a child to a state of sustained anger or bitterness rather than fostering a spirit of cooperation and love.
* **Nurture (Greek, _paideía'_):** From G3809, meaning "tutorage, i.e. education or training; by implication, disciplinary correction." This term encompasses the entire process of child-rearing, including instruction, discipline, and correction, all aimed at character formation and maturity. It's a comprehensive concept that includes both teaching and the corrective measures necessary to guide a child towards spiritual and moral development. It implies a formative process that is not merely punitive but educative and shaping, akin to the way a craftsman shapes a work of art.
* **Admonition (Greek, _nouthesía'_):** From G3559, meaning "calling attention to, i.e. (by implication) mild rebuke or warning." This word specifically refers to verbal instruction, counsel, and warning, often with a corrective or cautionary element. It emphasizes the importance of communication in guiding children's minds and consciences. While "nurture" covers the broader training, "admonition" focuses on the verbal aspect—teaching, reminding, encouraging, and gently correcting through words of truth and wisdom. Both "nurture" and "admonition" are qualified by "of the Lord," indicating that their content and method must be rooted in divine principles.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath:"** This is a direct, negative command primarily addressed to fathers, who held significant authority in the ancient world. The prohibition "provoke not" (G3949, *parorgízō*) warns against any form of parenting that would exasperate, frustrate, or embitter children, leading them to anger or resentment. This includes harshness, unfairness, inconsistency, excessive demands, or neglect that undermines a child's spirit and fosters rebellion rather than obedience. It calls for patience, understanding, and grace in the exercise of parental authority.
* **"but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."** This is the positive counter-command, introduced by the strong adversative "but" (G235, *allá*). It mandates an active, intentional, and holistic approach to parenting. "Bring them up" (G1625, *ektréphō*) implies a process of rearing to maturity, cherishing, and training. This upbringing must occur "in the nurture" (G3809, *paideía*), referring to the comprehensive training and discipline that shapes character, and "admonition" (G3559, *nouthesía*), which signifies verbal instruction, counsel, and warning. Crucially, both aspects must be "of the Lord" (G2962, *kýrios*), meaning their source, content, and goal are derived from and centered on the teachings, character, and will of Jesus Christ. This ensures that the parenting is not based on human wisdom or cultural trends, but on divine truth, aiming to raise children who know, love, and serve God.

#### Literary Devices
Paul employs several effective literary devices in Ephesians 6:4 to convey his profound message. The most prominent is **Antithesis**, where a negative command ("provoke not your children to wrath") is immediately contrasted with a positive command ("but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord"). This sharp contrast clarifies both what fathers *should not* do and what they *should* do, providing a balanced and comprehensive instruction. The use of **Imperative Mood** throughout the verse ("provoke not," "bring them up") underscores the authoritative and non-negotiable nature of these commands, highlighting their importance for Christian conduct. Furthermore, the phrase "of the Lord" functions as a powerful **Qualifier**, emphasizing that both the "nurture" and "admonition" must be divinely informed and directed, elevating the act of parenting from a mere earthly duty to a sacred calling rooted in Christ.

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
Ephesians 6:4 offers profound theological insights into the nature of Christian fatherhood and the divine design for family. It reveals that parental authority, particularly that of the father, is not absolute or for personal gratification, but a stewardship entrusted by God, to be exercised with love, wisdom, and a view towards the child's spiritual formation. The command to avoid provoking children to wrath reflects God's own character—His patience, understanding, and desire for His children's well-being, rather than their exasperation. The positive command to nurture and admonish "of the Lord" underscores that true Christian parenting is inherently discipleship, aiming to integrate children into the covenant community and guide them toward a personal relationship with Christ, reflecting the ultimate Fatherhood of God.

* [Deuteronomy 6:6-7](/deuteronomy/6-6-7 "Deuteronomy 6:6-7 - Teach Your Children Diligently")
* [Colossians 3:21](/colossians/3-21 "Colossians 3:21 - Do Not Provoke Your Children")
* [Proverbs 22:6](/proverbs/22-6 "Proverbs 22:6 - Train Up a Child")

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Ephesians 6:4 is a timeless and challenging mandate for parents, especially fathers. It calls for a profound shift from authoritarianism to spiritual leadership, demanding intentionality, patience, and self-control. To "provoke not" means to cultivate an atmosphere of grace, understanding, and fairness, where discipline is corrective and redemptive, not punitive or embittering. It requires parents to examine their own hearts for anger, inconsistency, or favoritism that might wound a child's spirit. Conversely, to "bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" is a lifelong commitment to discipling children in every facet of their lives—intellectual, emotional, and spiritual. This involves teaching them God's Word, modeling Christ-like character, praying with and for them, and guiding them to understand and live out their faith in a practical way. It's about shaping their worldview with biblical truth, equipping them to navigate life's challenges with faith, hope, and love, ultimately preparing them for a life of devoted service to God.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **In what ways might I, as a parent (or future parent), inadvertently "provoke" my children to wrath, and how can I cultivate a more patient and understanding approach?**
* **What specific steps can I take to more intentionally "nurture" (train and discipline) my children according to biblical principles, rather than merely reacting to their behavior?**
* **How can I effectively "admonish" (verbally instruct and counsel) my children in the Lord, ensuring that my words build them up and guide them in truth?**
* **How does my own relationship with "the Lord" directly impact my ability to fulfill this command in raising my children?**

### FAQ

**What does it mean to "provoke not your children to wrath"?**

Answer: To "provoke not your children to wrath" means to avoid any parenting behaviors that consistently frustrate, exasperate, or embitter your children, leading them to deep-seated anger or resentment. This includes actions like being overly harsh, inconsistent in discipline, showing favoritism, making unreasonable demands, constantly criticizing, or neglecting their emotional and spiritual needs. The goal is to foster an environment where children feel loved, understood, and respected, allowing them to grow in a healthy manner without developing bitterness or rebellion. This command is echoed in [Colossians 3:21](/colossians/3-21 "Colossians 3:21 - Fathers, Do Not Provoke Your Children").

**What is the difference between "nurture" and "admonition" in this verse?**

Answer: "Nurture" (Greek: *paideía*) refers to the comprehensive training and discipline involved in raising a child to maturity. It encompasses all aspects of their development—physical, intellectual, moral, and spiritual—and includes both instruction and corrective measures. It's about the overall shaping of their character. "Admonition" (Greek: *nouthesía*) specifically refers to verbal instruction, counsel, and warning. It emphasizes the importance of teaching, reminding, and gently correcting through words. While "nurture" is the broader process of upbringing, "admonition" is the verbal component that guides the child's mind and conscience. Both are essential and must be "of the Lord," meaning they are rooted in God's Word and character, as seen in [Deuteronomy 6:7](/deuteronomy/6-7 "Deuteronomy 6:7 - Teach Them Diligently to Your Children").

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
Ephesians 6:4 finds its ultimate Christ-centered fulfillment in the perfect Fatherhood of God and the redemptive work of Jesus Christ. God, our heavenly Father, never provokes His children to wrath; rather, He is [slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love](/psalms/103-8 "Psalm 103:8 - The Lord is Merciful"). His discipline, though sometimes painful, is always for our good, designed to bring us to maturity and holiness, not to embitter us, as highlighted in [Hebrews 12:5-11](/hebrews/12-5-11 "Hebrews 12:5-11 - God's Discipline for Our Good"). Furthermore, Christ Himself is the embodiment of the nurture and admonition of the Lord. He is the Word made flesh, who perfectly teaches, counsels, and corrects His disciples, leading them into all truth ([John 14:26](/john/14-26 "John 14:26 - The Holy Spirit Teaches All Things")). Christian fathers are called to image this divine Fatherhood, modeling their parenting after God's patient, loving, and redemptive discipline, and actively discipling their children in the way of Christ. The goal is not merely well-behaved children, but children who are brought into a saving relationship with the Lord Jesus, growing in His likeness through the power of the Spirit, just as believers are called to [grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ](/ephesians/4-15 "Ephesians 4:15 - Growing Up into Christ").

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.

Cross-References

Colossians 3:21

Fathers, provoke not your children [to anger], lest they be discouraged.

Proverbs 22:6

¶ Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 29:15

¶ The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left [to himself] bringeth his mother to shame.

Proverbs 19:18

¶ Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

Deuteronomy 6:7

And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

2 Timothy 3:15

And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

Proverbs 29:17

¶ Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.