Colossians 3:21

Paul’s first word is to wives: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.” The verb hypotássō joins hypó, “under”, with tássō, “to arrange” or “to put in order”, so it means to arrange under, to place oneself in order beneath another. Ordinary Greek used it of soldiers in their ranks, and the New Testament uses it of submitting to governing authorities (Romans 13:1) and to God (James 4:7). The KJV’s “submit yourselves” keeps the sense that the wife does this herself. It is her own willing act of humility and respect, done out of reverence for Christ, by which she recognises her husband’s leadership in the family God has ordered.

“Your own husbands” keeps the command inside her own marriage. Paul is speaking of the bond between a wife and her husband, a call to order and cooperation within that covenant.

The reason he gives is that it is “fit in the Lord”. The verb anḗkō means “to attain to”, and from that “to be proper”, “fitting” or “due”. Submission is what properly belongs to a wife who is in Christ, and it matches God’s design for marriage. “In the Lord” also sets its bounds. Kýrios is one supreme in authority, a master, and in the New Testament it is constantly the title of Jesus Christ. A wife’s submission takes its motive, its manner and its reach from her relationship to him. Christ’s will stands above any husband’s wish, so a wife who submits “in the Lord” is never required to sin, to set aside God’s word or to violate her conscience.

Submission in this verse is a matter of order within the home, and Scripture counts the wife fully equal with her husband before God. Paul writes, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). Husband and wife alike bear God’s image and are heirs together of his grace. The clearest proof that submitting carries no shame is Christ himself, who humbled himself in perfect obedience and love for the Father (Philippians 2:5–8) and laid down his life of his own will (John 10:18). The church submits to Christ as its head (Ephesians 5:23–24), and a wife’s submission in the Lord reflects that same loving order.

Peter gives wives the same teaching (1 Peter 3:1–6), so does Paul’s letter to Titus (Titus 2:3–5), and in Ephesians Paul opens it with the words “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God” (Ephesians 5:21). Believers differ on how that mutual submission and a husband’s leadership fit together in daily married life, and on how much the husband’s leadership includes. We all receive these verses as God’s word, and we agree that the wife’s submission is given freely, in the Lord, to a husband who is himself commanded to love her.

To husbands Paul says, “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” The verb is agapáō, the self-giving love that sets out to do the other person good. It is a deliberate choice that shows itself in action, a love that gives, serves and endures, and it reflects the love of God himself. Greek had other words, phileo for warm affection between friends and eros for romantic desire, and Paul chooses the word for love that puts the other first. A husband’s love sets his wife’s wellbeing, her growth in the Lord and her needs ahead of his own, and it flows from his new life in Christ whatever kind of day she is having. The word for wives, gynḗ, is the ordinary Greek word for a woman, and the setting gives it the sense of wife.

Paul gives the pattern for this love in Ephesians: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25). Christ loved his bride while she was still in sin (Romans 5:8), and he cleanses her so as to present her “not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing” (Ephesians 5:27). He keeps faith with her when she falters. A husband who loves like that draws first on Christ’s love for him.

“Be not bitter” uses pikraínō, “to make bitter” or “to embitter”. It describes a sour, harsh, resentful spirit that poisons a marriage. It can show itself in harsh words, a critical spirit, coldness or neglect, and it often grows from unmet expectations or unforgiveness. Paul’s answer is the forgiveness he has already commanded (Colossians 3:13). Proverbs gives the daily form of it, “A soft answer turneth away wrath” (Proverbs 15:1), and Peter tells husbands to dwell with their wives according to knowledge (1 Peter 3:7). Roman custom let a husband treat his wife harshly with little cost to himself, so this command placed a real check on a husband’s power and raised the standing of wives in Christian marriage.

“Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.” Téknon is the word for a child, offspring of whatever age, and in this list it means children still under their parents’ care and authority. To obey is hypakoúō, “to hear under”, to listen attentively as one under authority, and so to heed and carry out what is asked. It describes a child who listens with respect and then does what the parent says. The verb is a present imperative, which fits a standing duty, and “in all things” (en pâsin) reaches into every area of life.

The reason follows with gár, “for”, which introduces the reason for what goes before. Toûto, “this”, points back to the child’s obedience, and it is euárestos, “fully agreeable”, well pleasing (euáreston) to the Lord (tō Kyríō). God approves of it and delights in it, so a child doing what a parent asks is offering something to the Lord himself. Scripture says that “without faith it is impossible to please him” (Hebrews 11:6), and faith shows itself in what we do, as it did with Abraham, whose “faith wrought with his works” (James 2:21–23). Proverbs urges the same obedience: “My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother” (Proverbs 6:20–22). Paul gives the parallel command in Ephesians 6:1–3, just after the call to wives in Ephesians 5:22.

Obedience was a cornerstone of Roman family life, where the father’s power (patria potestas) reached even over his grown children. Paul’s hearers already knew that children should obey. What he adds is the motive, which lifts the duty above custom and fear of punishment and makes it an act of devotion to God.

A child’s obedience to parents sits inside obedience to God, so “in all things” covers every lawful and righteous thing a parent asks. God is the highest authority in every home, and when a parent’s command would lead a child to sin against him, the child’s first loyalty is to God. Peter and the apostles said it plainly: “We ought to obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29).

The command to obey speaks mainly to children still under their parents’ care, and the honour beneath it lasts as long as life. The fifth commandment says, “Honour thy father and thy mother” (Exodus 20:12), and Paul repeats it with its promise in Ephesians 6:2–3. For a grown son or daughter, that honour shows in respectful speech, seeking their counsel, caring for them as they age and keeping a loving bond, even after obeying their commands has given way to other duties.

Then Paul turns to fathers: “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” Patḗr means father, and it can also mean parents or ancestor. In that day the father was head of the household, and in Roman law he held great authority over wife, children and slaves, even the power of life and death, though by Paul’s day it was rarely used. Since the power was his, he is the one told to use it with care.

To provoke is erethízō, to stir up, to irritate or exasperate, especially to anger. The result Paul fears is athyméō, from a word meaning “without spirit”. It means to lose heart or become dispirited, and it is found only here in the New Testament. A child who is provoked again and again can grow dejected and listless, lose the wish to please, and turn away from a parent’s guidance and even from the faith.

The forms provoking takes are familiar: discipline that is harsh, unfair or unpredictable, constant criticism, expectations beyond a child’s age, favouritism, broken promises, ridicule and sarcasm, and a lack of affection and affirmation. A father who gives correction together with encouragement keeps his child secure and willing to grow. Paul says the same in Ephesians: “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Proverbs says, “Train up a child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:6). God himself is the pattern. He disciplines his children for their good (Hebrews 12:5–11), “that we might be partakers of his holiness” (Hebrews 12:10), and earthly fathers are to join firm guidance to the same patient love. This verse balances the one before it, because the authority children obey is meant to build them up.

Eyeservice, ophthalmodouleía, joins ophthalmós, “eye”, with douleía, “service”. It is work done only while the master’s eye is on you. The word is first found in Paul, here and in Ephesians 6:6, and he may have coined it. It pictures careless, insincere work, done to escape punishment or win a moment’s favour, which stops when the supervisor walks away. “Menpleasers” (anthrōpáreskoi) names the motive behind it, a longing for human approval above everything else.

Against this Paul sets “singleness of heart”. Haplótēs means singleness, a sincerity free of pretence and self-seeking, and it can also mean generosity. Joined with heart (kardía) it describes an undivided, wholehearted devotion to the task. The motive is “fearing God”, reverence and awe for God as the one who sees everything and to whom every believer gives account. Proverbs warns that “The fear of man bringeth a snare” (Proverbs 29:25), and the fear of God sets the worker free from it. Paul’s parallel in Ephesians says the same (Ephesians 6:5–8). This is the old man put off and the new man put on (Colossians 3:9–10) in the most ordinary work of the day.

“And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men”. “Whatsoever” includes pâs, “all” or “every”, and “ye do” is poiéō, the very broad verb “to make or do”. Together they take in every task in a believer’s life, great and small, so the whole of life becomes service to the Lord. The second “do” is a different verb, ergázomai, “to work”, so Paul is speaking of labour itself. “Heartily” translates ek psychēs, literally “out of the soul”. Ek means “from” or “out of”, and psychḗ is the soul, the life, the inner self. The work is to come from the whole person, mind, will and feeling, with sincerity and energy.

“As to the Lord” names who the work is finally for. Kýrios is the same word that names the earthly masters in 3:22 and 4:1, so the slave who has a human master is told that his true Master is Christ. Paul gives the same rule to all believers: “whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31). In Ephesians he writes, “With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men” (Ephesians 6:7). Work offered this way is part of presenting ourselves to God as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1). Cleaning, budgeting and repetitive work become ways to honour God, and the Lord himself was known in Nazareth as “the carpenter” (Mark 6:3).

The phrase names the deepest reason for the work, and the servant goes on obeying and serving his human master, now for Christ’s sake. Paul teaches respect for human authority and diligent work elsewhere too (Romans 13:1–7). A believer’s standard and audience is God, so he works well when nobody is watching and when nobody says thank you, and his service to people grows out of his service to the Lord.

“Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.” “Knowing” is eídō, which properly means “to see” and in this form means “to know”. The servant’s work rests on something he knows for certain. The reward, antapódosis, is requital or recompense, a giving back, and the word is found only here in the New Testament. The inheritance, klēronomía, is heirship, a patrimony, what a child receives as heir. Together the two words say that the Lord repays faithful service, and that he repays it with an inheritance given to his children because they are his. It comes by grace from a God who is both just and generous.

For a slave whose earthly master might never thank him, this was a great hope. The inheritance is the one Scripture speaks of elsewhere: “And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ” (Romans 8:17), “an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you” (1 Peter 1:4). Jesus told his followers to lay up treasure in heaven (Matthew 6:19–21), Paul assures believers that their labour in the Lord is worth it (1 Corinthians 15:58), and “If we suffer, we shall also reign with him” (2 Timothy 2:12).

“For ye serve the Lord Christ” gives the reason. “Serve” is douleúō, to serve as a slave, the verb that belongs with doûlos. Whatever a believer’s place on earth, his whole service is to Christ as Master. The inheritance was secured by Christ, “In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins” (Colossians 1:14), who “gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works” (Titus 2:14). Our service is the grateful answer to an inheritance he has already won for us.

“But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons.” The word dé, “but”, turns from the reward to its other side. To do wrong is adikéō, to be unjust or to act unjustly, any act that breaks righteousness or fairness. Paul has both parties in view, a servant who wrongs his master and a master who wrongs his servant. The same verb appears in Paul’s letter to Philemon, where he writes of the runaway servant Onesimus, “If he hath wronged thee” (Philemon 1:18), and Onesimus came to Colossae with this very letter (Colossians 4:9).

To receive is komízō, to carry off or obtain, and here to receive back what is due. The wrongdoer will be repaid in keeping with the wrong he did. Then “and” (kaí) adds the truth that guarantees it. The words are plain: ou, “not”, estí, “is”, and prosōpolēpsía, partiality, which judges people by their outward appearance, rank or wealth. God judges by deeds, and the same righteous standard covers rich and poor, master and slave. “For there is no respect of persons with God” (Romans 2:11), as Peter also learned (Acts 10:34). “God judgeth the righteous” (Psalm 7:11), and “we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ” (2 Corinthians 5:10), for the Father has given the Son “authority to execute judgment also, because he is the Son of man” (John 5:27).

This warns those with power and comforts those who suffer injustice. God’s fairness sits alongside his tender care for each person, for “The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart” (Psalm 34:18). And because every wrong will be repaid, every one of us needs the grace God gives in Christ, whose sacrifice satisfied God’s justice (Romans 3:23–26). God “hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him” (2 Corinthians 5:21).

“Masters, give unto your servants that which is just and equal; knowing that ye also have a Master in heaven.” The duty now falls on those who hold power. “Give” is paréchō, to furnish or supply what is owed. What they owe is what is díkaios, just, righteous and fair in God’s eyes, and what belongs to isótēs, equality or fairness. Together the words call for fair pay, humane conditions and treatment that respects the servant’s dignity, a standard set by God’s righteousness that reaches higher than the law of the day. The law of Moses protected the hired servant in the same spirit (Deuteronomy 24:14–15), and Paul gives masters the same charge in Ephesians 6:9.

“Knowing” is eídō again, as in 3:24, so masters are reminded of something they already know. The masters (kýrios) have a kýrios of their own in heaven (ouranós, the word for sky and for heaven). Their servants (doûlos) serve them, and they in turn are servants of Christ, accountable as all servants are (Colossians 3:23–24). “So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God” (Romans 14:12), and “mercy rejoiceth against judgment” (James 2:13). The Master in heaven himself “took upon him the form of a servant” (Philippians 2:7), so a Christian master holds his authority as a steward under the one who served. That same Lord will one day judge in righteousness and set all things right (Revelation 19:11).