Ephesians 5:28

“Christ and the Church: The Marriage Standard”· Ephesians 5:22–33
Translation
King James Version
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
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KJV (with Strong's)
So G3779 ought G3784 men G435 to love G25 their G1438 wives G1135 as G5613 their own G1438 bodies G4983. He that loveth G25 his G1438 wife G1135 loveth G25 himself G1438.
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Complete Jewish Bible
This is how husbands ought to love their wives — like their own bodies; for the man who loves his wife is loving himself.
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Berean Standard Bible
In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
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American Standard Version
Even so ought husbands also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his own wife loveth himself:
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World English Bible Messianic
Even so husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.
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Geneva Bible (1599)
So ought men to loue their wiues, as their owne bodies: he that loueth his wife, loueth him selfe.
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Young's Literal Translation
so ought the husbands to love their own wives as their own bodies: he who is loving his own wife--himself he doth love;
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See also
Ephesians 5:25Genesis 2:21Genesis 2:24Matthew 19:5Ephesians 5:33Ephesians 5:31
In the KJVVerse 29,333 of 31,102 · 94.3%

Study This Verse

Summary

Ephesians 5:28 serves as a profound directive for husbands within the Christian household, urging them to love their wives with the same intrinsic care and concern they naturally extend to their own physical bodies. This verse underscores the deep unity inherent in the marital covenant, asserting that a husband's love for his wife is inextricably linked to his self-love and well-being, thereby elevating the wife's status and emphasizing the profound interconnectedness of the "one flesh" union.

Context

Literary Context

This verse is situated within a larger section of Paul's letter to the Ephesians (chapters 4-6) that transitions from theological exposition to practical Christian living. Specifically, it is part of the "household code" (Ephesians 5:21-6:9), which outlines reciprocal responsibilities within various relationships: wives and husbands, children and parents, slaves and masters. The immediate preceding verses (Ephesians 5:22-27) establish the paradigm for marital love, with wives submitting to their husbands as to the Lord, and husbands loving their wives sacrificially, "just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25). Verse 28 then builds upon this high standard, providing a practical, tangible illustration of what that Christ-like love looks like in the husband's daily life, connecting it to the husband's own self-interest and the foundational concept of marital unity.

Historical & Cultural Context

The Greco-Roman world, in which Paul wrote, generally viewed women as subordinate to men, often with limited legal rights and social standing. Marriages were frequently arranged for economic or social advantage, and a husband's authority was largely unquestioned, sometimes extending to the right to divorce his wife for trivial reasons. Within this patriarchal framework, Paul's instructions were revolutionary. His command for husbands to love their wives with a self-sacrificial, Christ-like love, and to view them as integral parts of themselves, directly challenged prevailing cultural norms. It elevated the status of women within marriage, demanding a profound respect and care that was counter-cultural, laying the groundwork for a more egalitarian and mutually honoring relationship rooted in Christian principles.

Key Themes

Ephesians 5:28 contributes significantly to several key themes within the letter and broader New Testament teaching on marriage. Foremost is the theme of Unity and Oneness, echoing the creation narrative's declaration that husband and wife become "one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). Paul extends this concept to imply that a husband's self-care is inseparable from his care for his wife, reinforcing the idea that they are so intimately connected that to harm one is to harm the other. This verse also highlights the theme of Sacrificial Love, building on the example of Christ's love for the Church presented in Ephesians 5:25, demonstrating how this divine love is to be practically embodied in the marital relationship. Finally, it touches on Practical Care and Nurturing, implying that just as one instinctively provides for, protects, and cherishes their own body, a husband is called to extend the same diligent, proactive, and compassionate care to his wife.

Exposition and Analysis

Key Word Analysis

Love agapáō' G25

This verb, derived from the noun agapē, signifies a selfless, unconditional, and volitional love. It is not primarily an emotion, but a deliberate choice and action that consistently seeks the highest good and well-being of the beloved. In the context of marriage, it implies a commitment to the wife's flourishing, regardless of her actions or feelings, mirroring the divine love of God.

Wives gynḗ' G1135

This word refers to a woman, specifically in the context of marriage, a wife. Its inclusion here emphasizes the specific object of the husband's agapáō love, highlighting the unique and profound relationship within the marital covenant that demands this particular kind of care and devotion.

Bodies sōma' G4983

This term refers to the physical body as a sound whole, used broadly in Scripture. In this verse, it serves as the primary analogy for the husband's self-care. It represents the natural, instinctive, and comprehensive care one applies to oneself—feeding, protecting, nurturing, and maintaining health. By equating the wife with "their own bodies," Paul elevates her status to an intrinsic part of the husband's very being, demanding the same level of diligent and inherent care.

Verse Breakdown

"So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies."

This opening clause establishes the core command and its standard. The word "ought" (G3784, opheílō) implies a moral obligation or duty, not merely a suggestion. Husbands (G435, anḗr) are under divine obligation to "love" (G25, agapáō) their wives (G1135, gynḗ) with a love that mirrors the natural, instinctive, and comprehensive care they give to "their own bodies" (G4983, sōma). This comparison highlights the intrinsic value and close identification a husband should have with his wife, viewing her as an extension of himself rather than a separate entity, emphasizing the "one flesh" union.

"He that loveth his wife loveth himself."

This second clause reinforces and explains the first, providing the theological and practical rationale. It asserts a profound unity and interconnectedness within the marital bond. If a husband genuinely loves his wife with agapē love, he is, by extension, loving himself. This implies that the well-being, honor, and flourishing of the wife are directly linked to the well-being, honor, and flourishing of the husband. To neglect or harm one's wife is, in essence, to neglect or harm oneself, underscoring the mutual benefit and inseparable nature of a truly Christian marriage.

Literary Devices

Paul employs a powerful Analogy in this verse, comparing a husband's love for his wife to his love for his own body. This analogy is highly effective because it draws upon a universal human experience: the innate instinct for self-preservation and self-care. By grounding the profound spiritual command in this relatable physical reality, Paul makes the expectation clear and actionable. The verse also utilizes Repetition of the concept of "love" and "self," particularly in the second clause ("He that loveth his wife loveth himself"), which serves to emphasize the inextricable link between the husband's care for his wife and his own well-being. This repetition functions as a form of Reinforcement, driving home the theological point of marital unity and the reciprocal nature of true agape love within the "one flesh" covenant.

Theological and Thematic Connections

Ephesians 5:28 is a theological cornerstone for understanding Christian marriage, grounding the husband's responsibility in the profound reality of the "one flesh" union established at creation. It elevates marital love beyond mere sentimentality to a volitional, self-sacrificial commitment that mirrors the divine. This verse teaches that the wife is not merely a companion but an intrinsic part of the husband's very being, such that her flourishing is his flourishing, and her suffering, his suffering. This theological truth calls husbands to a proactive, nurturing, and protective love that reflects God's own covenant faithfulness and care for His people.

Genesis 2:241 Corinthians 6:16Colossians 3:19

Reflection and Application

Ephesians 5:28 presents a challenging yet liberating standard for husbands, calling them to a love that is both deeply personal and profoundly practical. It moves beyond superficial gestures to demand a holistic care for one's wife, akin to the instinctive way one nourishes, protects, and values their own physical body. This means actively seeking her emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being, prioritizing her needs, and defending her dignity. For a husband, this verse transforms the marital relationship into a crucible for Christ-likeness, where selfless love becomes the primary mode of interaction. It encourages husbands to see their wives not as separate entities to be managed or controlled, but as integral parts of themselves, whose flourishing is directly tied to their own. This perspective fosters a marriage built on mutual honor, deep unity, and a shared pursuit of God's glory, cultivating an environment where both partners can thrive in security and love.

Questions for Reflection

  1. In what specific ways do I instinctively care for my own body, and how can I intentionally apply these same principles of care to my wife's well-being (emotional, spiritual, physical)?
  2. How does understanding my wife as "my own body" change my perspective on conflict, decision-making, or prioritizing her needs?
  3. What practical steps can I take this week to demonstrate the kind of selfless, nurturing love for my wife that mirrors the care I have for myself?

FAQ

Does this verse imply that a husband should neglect his own needs to care for his wife?

No, the verse does not imply neglecting one's own needs. Rather, it uses the natural and instinctive care one has for their own body as the standard or analogy for how a husband ought to love his wife. The point is that just as a person inherently provides for, protects, and nurtures their own body without conscious effort, a husband should extend that same intrinsic, comprehensive care to his wife. The second part of the verse, "He that loveth his wife loveth himself," reinforces this, suggesting that the well-being of the wife is so intertwined with the husband's that caring for her is caring for himself. It's about recognizing the profound unity of the "one flesh" union, where their destinies and flourishing are inextricably linked, rather than advocating for self-neglect. This kind of love is a holistic, integrated approach to marital partnership, reflecting the example of Christ who nourishes and cherishes the church as His own body (Ephesians 5:29).

Christ-Centered Fulfillment

Ephesians 5:28 finds its ultimate fulfillment and deepest meaning in the person and work of Jesus Christ. Paul explicitly states in the preceding verses that husbands are to love their wives "just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25). The analogy of loving one's wife as one's own body is not merely a practical instruction but a profound theological reflection of Christ's relationship with His Church. Christ's love for the Church is not external or detached; He identifies with His people so intimately that He considers them His own body (1 Corinthians 12:27). He nourishes and cherishes the Church, just as a man cares for his own flesh (Ephesians 5:29). Therefore, when a husband loves his wife as his own body, he is participating in and reflecting the very nature of Christ's self-giving, unifying, and life-sustaining love for His bride, the Church. This divine pattern elevates marriage from a mere human institution to a living parable of the Gospel, demonstrating the profound union between Christ and His redeemed people, a mystery Paul explicitly calls "profound" in Ephesians 5:32.

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Public-domain commentary

Matthew Henry

From his Commentary on the Whole Bible. Henry comments on passages, not single verses — this entry covers Ephesians 5:21–33.

1662–1714 · 13 verses
Passage under commentEphesians 5:21–33

Here the apostle begins his exhortation to the discharge of relative duties. As a general foundation for these duties, he lays down that rule Eph 5:21. There is a mutual submission that Christians owe one to another, condescending to bear one another's burdens: not advancing themselves above others, nor domineering over one another and giving laws to one another. Paul was an example of this truly Christian temper, for he became all things to all men. We must be of a yielding and of a submissive spirit, and ready to all the duties of the respective places and stations that God has allotted to us in the world. In the fear of God, that is, so far as is consistent with the fear of God, for his sake, and out of conscience towards him, and that hereby we may give proof that we truly fear him. Where there is this mutual condescension and submission, the duties of all relations will be the better performed. From Eph 5:22 to the end he speaks of the duties of husbands and wives; and he speaks of these in a Christian manner, setting the church as an example of the wife's subjection, and Christ as an example of love in husbands.

I.The duty prescribed to wives is submission to their husbands in the Lord (Eph 5:22), which submission includes the honouring and obeying of them, and that from a principle of love to them. They must do this in compliance with God's authority, who has commanded it, which is doing it as unto the Lord; or it may be understood by way of similitude and likeness, so that the sense may be, "as, being devoted to God, you submit yourselves unto him." From the former sense we may learn that by a conscientious discharge of the duties we owe to our fellow-creatures we obey and please God himself; and, from the latter, that God not only requires and insists on those duties which immediately respect himself, but such as respect our neighbours too. The apostle assigns the reason of this submission from wives: For the husband is the head of the wife, Eph 5:23. The metaphor is taken from the head in the natural body, which, being the seat of reason, of wisdom, and of knowledge, and the fountain of sense and motion, is more excellent than the rest of the body. God has given the man the pre-eminence and a right to direct and govern by creation, and in that original law of the relation, Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. Whatever there is of uneasiness in this, it is an effect of sin coming into the world. Generally, too, the man has (what he ought to have) a superiority in wisdom and knowledge. He is therefore the head, even as Christ is the head of the church. There is a resemblance of Christ's authority over the church in that superiority and headship which God has appointed to the husband. The apostle adds, and he is the Saviour of the body. Christ's authority is exercised over the church for the saving of her from evil, and the supplying of her with every thing good for her. In like manner should the husband be employed for the protection and comfort of his spouse; and therefore she should the more cheerfully submit herself unto him. So it follows, Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ (Eph 5:24), with cheerfulness, with fidelity, with humility, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing - in every thing to which their authority justly extends itself, in every thing lawful and consistent with duty to God.

II.The duty of husbands (on the other hand), is to love their wives (Eph 5:25); for without this they would abuse their superiority and headship, and, wherever this prevails as it ought to do, it will infer the other duties of the relation, it being a special and peculiar affection that is required in her behalf. The love of Christ to the church is proposed as an example of this, which love of his is a sincere, a pure, an ardent, and constant affection, and that notwithstanding the imperfections and failures that she is guilty of. The greatness of his love to the church appeared in his giving himself unto the death for it. Observe, As the church's subjection to Christ is proposed as an exemplar to wives, so the love of Christ to his church is proposed as a pattern to husbands; and while such exemplars are offered to both, and so much is required of each, neither has reason to complain of the divine injunctions. The love which God requires from the husband in behalf of his wife will make amends for the subjection which he demands from her to her husband; and the prescribed subjection of the wife will be an abundant return for that love of the husband which God has made her due. The apostle, having mentioned Christ's love to the church, enlarges upon it, assigning the reason why he gave himself for it, namely, that he might sanctify it in this world, and glorify it in the next: That he might sanctify and cleanse it, with the washing of water by the word (Eph 5:26) - that he might endue all his members with a principle of holiness, and deliver them from the guilt, the pollution, and the dominion of sin. The instrumental means whereby this is affected are the instituted sacraments, particularly the washing of baptism and the preaching and reception of the gospel. And that he might present it to himself, etc., Eph 5:27. Dr. Lightfoot thinks the apostle alludes here to the Jews' extraordinary carefulness in their washings for purification. They were careful that there should be no wrinkle to keep the flesh from the water, and no spot nor dirt which was not thoroughly washed. Others understand him as alluding to a garment come newly out of the fuller's hand, purged from spots, stretched from wrinkles, the former newly contracted, the latter by long time and custom. That he might present it to himself - that he might perfectly unite it to himself in the great day, a glorious church, perfect in knowledge and in holiness, not having spot, nor wrinkle, nor any such thing, nothing of deformity or defilement remaining, but being entirely amiable and pleasing in his eye, holy and without blemish, free from the least remains of sin. The church in general, and particular believers, will not be without spot or wrinkle till they come to glory. From this and the former verse together we may take notice that the glorifying of the church is intended in the sanctifying of it: and that those, and those only, who are sanctified now, will be glorified hereafter. - So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies, etc., Eph 5:28. The wife being made one with her husband (not in a natural, but in a civil and in a relative sense), this is an argument why he should love her with as cordial and as ardent an affection as that which he loves himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, Eph 5:29 - (no man in his right senses ever hated himself, however deformed, or whatever his imperfections might be); so far from it that he nourishes and cherishes it; he uses himself with a great deal of care and tenderness, and is industrious to supply himself with every thing convenient or good for him, with food and clothing, etc. Even as the Lord the church: that is, as the Lord nourishes and cherishes the church, which he furnishes with all things that he sees needful or good for her, with whatever conduces to her everlasting happiness and welfare. The apostle adds, For we are members of his body, of his flesh and of his bones, Eph 5:30. He assigns this as a reason why Christ nourishes and cherishes his church - because all who belong to it are members of his body, that is, of his mystical body. Or, we are members out of his body: all the grace and glory which the church has are from Christ, as Eve was taken out of the man. But, as one observes, it being the manner of the sacred writings to express a complex body by the enumeration of its several parts, as the heaven and earth for the world, evening and morning for the natural day, so here, by body, flesh, and bones, we are to understand himself, the meaning of the verse being that we are members of Christ. - For this cause (because they are one, as Christ and his church are one) shall a man leave his father and mother; the apostle refers to the words of Adam, when Eve was given to him for a meet help, Gen 2:24. We are not to understand by this that a man's obligation to other relations is cancelled upon his marriage, but only that this relation is to be preferred to all others, there being a nearer union between these two than between any others, that the man must rather leave any of those than his wife. - And they two shall be one flesh, that is, by virtue of the matrimonial bond. This is a great mystery, Eph 5:32. Those words of Adam, just mentioned by the apostle, are spoken literally of marriage; but they have also a hidden mystical sense in them, relating to the union between Christ and his church, of which the conjugal union between Adam and the mother of us all was a type: though not instituted or appointed by God to signify this, yet it was a kind of natural type, as having a resemblance to it: I speak concerning Christ and the church.

After this, the apostle concludes this part of his discourse with a brief summary of the duty of husbands and wives, Eph 5:33. "Nevertheless (though there be such a secret mystical sense, yet the plain literal sense concerns you) let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, with such a sincere, peculiar, singular, and prevailing affection as that is which he bears to himself. And the wife see that she reverence her husband." Reverence consists of love and esteem, which produce a care to please, and of fear, which awakens a caution lest just offence be given. That the wife thus reverence her husband is the will of God and the law of the relation.

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Historical interpretation

Seventeen Centuries of Reception

7 surviving comments on this verse. Each one is dated, so this reads as a timeline rather than a list.

7 quotes · AD 215–1963
Ante-NicenePost-NiceneEarly MedievalMedieval
20030040050060070080090010001100120013001400150016001700180019002000

Select a marker to jump to its quote. Markers stagger vertically where authors wrote within a few decades of each other.

AD 215Clement of AlexandriaAnte-NiceneSourceThe Stromata Book 4
Wherefore also in the Epistle to the Ephesians it is written, "Subjecting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the Church; and He is the Saviour of the body. Husbands, love your wives, as also Christ loved the Church. So also ought men to love their wives as their own bodies: he that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh."
AD 258CyprianAnte-NiceneSourcePseudo-Cyprian Of the Discipline and Advantage of Chastity
The precepts of chastity, brethren, are ancient. Wherefore do I say ancient? Because they were ordained at the same time as men themselves. For both her own husband belongs to the woman, for the reason that besides him she may know no other; and the woman is given to the man for the purpose that, when that which had been his own had been yielded to him, he should seek for nothing belonging to another. And in such wise it is said, "Two shall be in one flesh," that what had been made one should return together, that a separation without return should not afford any occasion to a stranger. Thence also the apostle declares that the man is the head of the woman, that he might commend chastity in the conjunction of the two. For as the head cannot be suited to the limbs of another, so also one's limbs cannot be suited to the head of another: for one's head matches one's limbs, and one's limbs one's head; and both of them are associated by a natural link in mutual concord, lest, by any discord arising from the separation of the members, the compact of the divine covenant should be broken. Yet he adds, and says: "Because he who loves his wife, loves himself. For no one hates his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ the Church." From this passage there is great authority for charity with chastity, if wives are to be loved by their husbands even as Christ loved the Church and wives ought so to love their husbands also as the Church loves Christ.
AD 311Methodius of OlympusAnte-NiceneSourceMethodius Discourse III. Thaleia
Chapter I.-Passages of Holy Scripture Compared.
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the Church."
AD 380Apostolic ConstitutionsPost-NiceneSourceApostolic Constitutions (Book VI), Section 5, XXIX
You wives, be subject to your own husbands, and have them in esteem, and serve them with fear and love, as holy Sarah honoured Abraham. For she could not endure to call him by his name, but called him lord, when she said, "My lord is old." [Genesis 18:12, 1 Peter 3:6] In like manner, you husbands, love your own wives as your own members, as partners in life, and fellow-helpers for the procreation of children. For says He, "Rejoice with the wife of your youth. [Proverbs 5:18] Let her conversation be to you as a loving hind, and a pleasant foal; let her alone guide you, and be with you at all times: for if you are every way encompassed with her friendship, you will be happy in her society." Love them therefore as your own members, as your very bodies [Ephesians 5:28]; for so it is written, "The Lord has testified between you and between the wife of your youth; and she is your partner, and another has not made her: and she is the remains of your spirit;" and, "Take heed to your spirit, and do not forsake the wife of your youth."
AD 407John ChrysostomPost-NiceneSourceHomily on Ephesians 20
"Even so ought husbands to love their own wives," saith he, "as their own bodies."

What, again, means this? To how much greater a similitude, and stronger example has he come; and not only so, but also to one how much nearer and clearer, and to a fresh obligation. For that other one was of no very constraining force, for He was Christ, and was God, and gave Himself. He now manages his argument on a different ground, saying, "so ought men"; because the thing is not a favor, but a debt. Then, "as their own bodies." And why?
AD 430Augustine of HippoPost-NiceneSourceOn Continence 23
The example proceeds to wives from the church and to husbands from Christ.… He urges the husbands on the basis of something inferior, namely, their own body, not only from the superior, that is, their Lord.
AD 1963CS LewisMedievalSourceMere Christianity, Chapter 6 - Christian Marriage
And in fact, whatever people say, the state called 'being in love' usually does not last. If the old fairy-tale ending 'They lived happily ever after' is taken to mean 'They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married', then it says what probably never was nor ever would be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships? But, of course, ceasing to be 'in love' need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense - love as distinct from 'being in love' - is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit, reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each others; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be 'in love' with someone else. 'Being in love' first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.
Source: Quotations drawn from early Church Fathers and historical Christian theologians (AD 100–1500). Some quotes address the surrounding passage context rather than this verse alone.
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