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Public-domain commentary
Matthew Henry
From his Commentary on the Whole Bible. Henry comments on passages, not single verses — this entry covers Colossians 3:18–25.
The apostle concludes the chapter with exhortations to relative duties, as before in the epistle to the Ephesians. The epistles which are most taken up in displaying the glory of divine grace, and magnifying the Lord Jesus, are the most particular and distinct in pressing the duties of the several relations. We must never separate the privileges and duties of the gospel religion.
I.He begins with the duties of wives and husbands (Col 3:18):
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Submission is the duty of wives, hupotassesthe. It is the same word which is used to express our duty to magistrates (Rom 13:1, Let every soul be subject to the higher powers), and is expressed by subjection and reverence, Eph 5:24, Eph 5:33. The reason is that Adam was first formed, then Eve: and Adam was not deceived, but the woman, being deceived, was in the transgression, Ti1 2:13, Ti1 2:14. He was first in the creation and last in the transgression. The head of the woman is the man; and the man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man; neither was the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man, Co1 11:3, Co1 11:8, Co1 11:9. It is agreeable to the order of nature and the reason of things, as well as the appointment and will of God. But then it is submission, not to a rigorous lord or absolute tyrant, who may do his will and is without restraints, but to a husband, and to her own husband, who stands in the nearest relation, and is under strict engagements to proper duty too. And this is fit in the Lord, it is becoming the relation, and what they are bound in duty to do, as an instance of obedience to the authority and law of Christ. On the other hand, husbands must love their wives, and not be bitter against them, Col 3:19. They must love them with tender and faithful affection, as Christ loved the church, and as their own bodies, and even as themselves (Eph 5:25, Eph 5:28, Eph 5:33), with a love peculiar to the nearest relation and the greatest comfort and blessing of life. And they must not be bitter against them, not use them unkindly, with harsh language or severe treatment, but be kind and obliging to them in all things; for the woman was made for the man, neither is the man without the woman, and the man also is by the woman, Co1 11:9, Co1 11:11, Co1 11:12.
II.The duties of children and parents:
Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord, Col 3:20. They must be willing to do all their lawful commands, and be at their direction and disposal; as those who have a natural right and are fitter to direct them than themselves. The apostle (Eph 6:2) requires them to honour as well as obey their parents; they must esteem them and think honourably of them, as the obedience of their lives must proceed from the esteem and opinion of their minds. And this is well-pleasing to God, or acceptable to him; for it is the first commandment with promise (Eph 6:2), with an explicit promise annexed to it, namely, That it shall be well with them, and they shall live long on the earth. Dutiful children are the most likely to prosper in the world and enjoy long life. And parents must be tender, as well as children obedient (Col 3:21): "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Let not your authority over them be exercised with rigour and severity, but with kindness and gentleness, lest you raise their passions and discourage them in their duty, and by holding the reins too tight make them fly out with greater fierceness." The bad temper and example of imprudent parents often prove a great hindrance to their children and a stumbling-block in their way; see Eph 6:4. And it is by the tenderness of parents, and dutifulness of children, that God ordinarily furnishes his church with a seed to serve him, and propagates religion from age to age.
III.Servants and masters:
Servants, obey your masters in all things according to the flesh, Col 3:22. Servants must do the duty of the relation in which they stand, and obey their master's commands in all things which are consistent with their duty to God their heavenly Master. Not with eye-service, as men-pleasers - not only when their master's eye is upon them, but when they are from under their master's eye. They must be both just and diligent. In singleness of heart, fearing God - without selfish designs, or hypocrisy and disguise, as those who fear God and stand in awe of him. Observe, The fear of God ruling in the heart will make people good in every relation. Servants who fear God will be just and faithful when they are from under their master's eye, because they know they are under the eye of God. See Gen 20:11, Because I thought, Surely the fear of God is not in this place. Neh 5:15, But so did not I, because of the fear of God. "And whatsoever you do, do it heartily (Col 3:23), with diligence, not idly and slothfully:" or, "Do it cheerfully, not discontented at the providence of God which put you in that relation." - As to the Lord, and not as to men. It sanctifies a servant's work when it is done as unto God - with an eye to his glory and in obedience to his command, and not merely as unto men, or with regard to them only. Observe, We are really doing our duty to God when we are faithful in our duty to men. And, for servants' encouragement, let them know that a good and faithful servant is never the further from heaven for his being a servant: "Knowing that of the Lord you shall receive the reward of the inheritance, for you serve the Lord Christ, Col 3:24. Serving your masters according to the command of Christ, you serve Christ, and he will be your paymaster: you will have a glorious reward at last. Though you are now servants, you will receive the inheritance of sons. But, on the other hand, He who does wrong will receive for the wrong which he has done," Col 3:25. There is a righteous God, who, if servants wrong their masters, will reckon with them for it, though they may conceal it from their master's notice. And he will be sure to punish the unjust as well as reward the faithful servant: and so if masters wrong their servants. - And there is no respect of persons with him. The righteous Judge of the earth will be impartial, and carry it with an equal hand towards the master and servant; not swayed by any regard to men's outward circumstances and condition of life. The one and the other will stand upon a level at his tribunal.
It is probable that the apostle has a particular respect, in all these instances of duty, to the case mentioned 1 Cor. 7 of relations of a different religion, as a Christian and heathen, a Jewish convert and an uncircumcised Gentile, where there was room to doubt whether they were bound to fulfil the proper duties of their several relations to such persons. And, if it hold in such cases, it is much stronger upon Christians one towards another, and where both are of the same religion. And how happy would the gospel religion make the world, if it every where prevailed; and how much would it influence every state of things and every relation of life!
Historical interpretation
Historical Reception
3 surviving comments on this verse. Each one is dated, so this reads as a timeline rather than a list.
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I have taught wives to love their own husbands, and to fear them as masters, and husbands to observe fidelity to their wives; I have taught masters to treat their slaves with clemency, and slaves to serve their own masters faithfully;
That is, be subject for God's sake, because this adorneth you, he saith, not them. For I mean not that subjection which is due to a master, nor yet that alone which is of nature, but that for God's sake.
Nor can it be doubted that it is more consonant with the order of nature that men should bear rule over women than women over men. It is with this principle in view that the apostle says, “The head of the woman is the man”; and, “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands.” .
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Summary
Colossians 3:18 provides a foundational instruction for wives within the Christian household, urging them to submit to their own husbands "as it is fit in the Lord." This command is not an isolated directive but part of a broader Pauline teaching on Christian living, where believers are called to embody their new identity in Christ through practical, Spirit-empowered relationships, ensuring that all actions are qualified and guided by their ultimate allegiance to Jesus Christ.
Context
Literary Context
Colossians 3:18 initiates a section commonly referred to as the "household codes" (Colossians 3:18-4:1), which are characteristic of Paul's epistles (Ephesians 5:22-33 and Ephesians 6:1-9). This passage immediately follows Paul's profound theological exposition on the believer's new identity in Christ, having been raised with Him and having put off the old self to put on the new self, which is being renewed in the knowledge of its Creator (Colossians 3:1-17). The transition from theological truth to practical ethics is seamless, demonstrating that Christian doctrine is not merely theoretical but profoundly impacts daily life and relationships. The instruction to wives is purposefully paired with commands for husbands (Colossians 3:19), children, fathers, slaves, and masters, creating a balanced and reciprocal framework for all relationships within the Christian community, all grounded in the Lordship of Christ.
Historical & Cultural Context
The Greco-Roman world in which the Colossian church existed was characterized by rigid social hierarchies and patriarchal structures. Women, particularly wives, generally held a subordinate position with limited legal rights and social autonomy. Their primary role was domestic, focused on managing the household and raising children. While Paul's use of "household codes" might seem to echo existing societal norms, his instructions fundamentally transform them by injecting Christian principles. Unlike pagan household codes that enforced submission based on societal power dynamics, Paul grounds his directives in the believer's relationship with Christ and mutual obligations. This Christian reinterpretation elevated the status of women and slaves by affirming their equal standing in Christ (Galatians 3:28), even while addressing their roles within existing social structures. The phrase "in the Lord" was revolutionary, placing a divine qualifier on human authority and demanding ethical conduct from all parties.
Key Themes
Colossians 3:18 contributes significantly to several overarching themes in Colossians. Firstly, it underscores the Supremacy and Sufficiency of Christ, demonstrating how Christ's Lordship reshapes every aspect of life, including marriage. Secondly, it highlights the theme of New Identity in Christ, showing how believers, having been "raised with Christ" (Colossians 3:1), are called to live out this new reality in practical ways, manifesting the fruits of the Spirit in their relationships. Thirdly, the verse, as part of the household code, emphasizes Order and Harmony within the Christian Community. Paul is not advocating for a return to pagan societal norms but rather for a distinct Christian order where relationships are governed by love, respect, and Christ-centered submission, differentiating the Christian household from its secular counterparts. This is further elaborated in the broader instructions for Christian living found in Colossians 3:12-17.
Exposition and Analysis
Key Word Analysis
From ὑπό (hypo, "under") and τάσσω (tassō, "to arrange, to order"), this verb literally means "to arrange under," "to place in order," or "to subject oneself." In the New Testament, it is used in various contexts, including military subordination, submission to governing authorities, and voluntary submission to God. Crucially, it often implies a willing, not forced, alignment or cooperation. In the context of marriage, it signifies a voluntary recognition of the husband's functional leadership within the God-ordained structure of the family, rather than a servile or inferior obedience. It is an act of humility and respect, performed out of reverence for Christ.
This verb means "to attain to," and figuratively, "to be proper," "to be fitting," or "to be due." It conveys the idea of something being appropriate, suitable, or morally right. When Paul states that submission is "fit," he is indicating that this posture is not arbitrary but inherently aligns with God's design for marriage and the Christian life. It is a response that is consistent with the new identity and spiritual maturity of a believer in Christ.
Derived from a root signifying "supremacy," this noun denotes one who is supreme in authority, a controller, or a master. In the New Testament, kýrios is frequently used to refer to Jesus Christ as divine Lord and Master, emphasizing His ultimate authority and sovereignty. The phrase "in the Lord" (Greek, en Kyriō) is a critical qualifier, indicating that the entire command—its nature, extent, and motivation—is defined, limited, and empowered by one's relationship with and allegiance to Jesus Christ. It means submission that is consistent with Christ's character and commands, never contradicting His will.
Verse Breakdown
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands"
This clause directly addresses Christian wives, calling them to a specific posture within their marriage. The term "submit yourselves" (hypotassō) implies a voluntary act of aligning oneself under the functional headship of their husband. The inclusion of "your own husbands" emphasizes the personal and intimate nature of this command within the specific marital covenant, distinguishing it from a general societal subservience. It is a call to order and cooperation within the unique relationship of marriage, recognizing distinct, complementary roles.
"as it is fit in the Lord"
This crucial qualifying phrase defines the nature and scope of the submission. The word "fit" (anēkō) suggests that this submission is proper, appropriate, and consistent with Christian principles. The phrase "in the Lord" (en Kyriō) is paramount; it means that the wife's submission is not absolute or unconditional to her husband, but rather it is always qualified by her ultimate allegiance to Christ. It implies that submission should never lead to sin, contradict God's Word, or violate one's conscience. Instead, it is a spiritual act, performed out of reverence for Christ and in alignment with His will for the Christian household, reflecting the order and love found in Him.
Literary Devices
Paul employs several literary devices in this concise verse. The primary device is Imperative Mood, as "submit yourselves" is a direct command, indicating an expected action from the wives. This imperative is immediately followed by a crucial Qualifying Clause, "as it is fit in the Lord," which functions as a Theological Grounding and a Limiting Condition. This clause ensures that the command is not interpreted as absolute or culturally dictated, but rather as a spiritual act rooted in and governed by one's relationship with Christ. The use of "your own husbands" highlights Specificity, directing the command to the intimate marital relationship rather than a general social hierarchy. This specificity, combined with the theological qualifier, transforms a potentially oppressive cultural norm into a Christ-centered, voluntary act of love and order.
Theological and Thematic Connections
Colossians 3:18, while specifically addressing wives, is part of a larger theological framework concerning the transformation of believers by Christ and the outworking of that transformation in daily life. The principle of "submission in the Lord" extends beyond the marital relationship to encompass all areas of Christian living, emphasizing that every action, every relationship, and every role is to be lived out under the Lordship of Christ. This verse teaches that true Christian order is not about power dynamics as the world understands them, but about humble, Spirit-led service and respect, where each person's role is valued and contributes to the overall harmony and witness of the body of Christ. It underscores the profound truth that our primary allegiance is always to Christ, and all human relationships are to be conducted in a manner that honors Him.
Reflection and Application
Colossians 3:18 invites wives to consider their role within marriage not as a burden or a concession to societal pressure, but as a purposeful and spiritually significant act of worship and obedience to Christ. This "submission in the Lord" is not about a loss of identity or voice, but about a willing alignment with God's design for order and harmony in the home. It calls for a heart attitude of respect and cooperation, recognizing the complementary nature of husband and wife, both equally valued and gifted by God. For a wife, this means prayerfully discerning how to support, respect, and partner with her husband in a way that honors Christ, always remembering that her ultimate allegiance is to the Lord, which provides both the motivation and the boundaries for her actions. This spiritual orientation elevates the marriage relationship, making it a powerful testimony to the transforming power of the Gospel.
Questions for Reflection
FAQ
Does "submit yourselves" imply inferiority or a lack of equality for wives?
No, the biblical concept of "submission" in Colossians 3:18, particularly when qualified by "as it is fit in the Lord," does not imply inferiority or a lack of equality. The New Testament consistently teaches the spiritual equality of men and women in Christ (Galatians 3:28). The term "submit" (hypotassō) refers to a voluntary ordering or arranging oneself under another's functional leadership, often for the sake of order, harmony, and mutual benefit, rather than a forced subservience or a statement of inherent worth. In the context of the Christian household, it speaks to complementary roles within a marriage, where both husband and wife are equally image-bearers of God and co-heirs of His grace. The crucial qualifier "in the Lord" means that this submission is always defined and limited by one's ultimate obedience to Christ, ensuring it never leads to compromise of faith or participation in sin.
Christ-Centered Fulfillment
While Colossians 3:18 is a direct instruction to wives, its deepest fulfillment and meaning are found in the person and work of Jesus Christ. Christ Himself is the ultimate example of submission, not out of inferiority, but out of perfect obedience and love for the Father (Philippians 2:5-8). His entire life was a demonstration of self-giving, laying down His rights and even His life for the sake of others (John 10:18). Therefore, a wife's submission "in the Lord" is not merely a social obligation but a spiritual act, mirroring Christ's own humble obedience and self-sacrificial love. It is empowered by the Holy Spirit, enabling a believer to live out a new identity in Christ, where personal desires are willingly yielded for the greater good of the family and the glory of God. This Christ-centered perspective transforms what might otherwise be seen as a burdensome command into a liberating opportunity to participate in the divine pattern of love and order, reflecting the very heart of the Gospel within the home, as Christ is the head of the church, and the church submits to Him (Ephesians 5:23-24).