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“Living Wisely in the Spirit”· Ephesians 5:15–21
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Public-domain commentary
Matthew Henry
From his Commentary on the Whole Bible. Henry comments on passages, not single verses — this entry covers Ephesians 5:21–33.
Passage under commentEphesians 5:21–33
21¶ Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Here the apostle begins his exhortation to the discharge of relative duties. As a general foundation for these duties, he lays down that rule Eph 5:21. There is a mutual submission that Christians owe one to another, condescending to bear one another's burdens: not advancing themselves above others, nor domineering over one another and giving laws to one another. Paul was an example of this truly Christian temper, for he became all things to all men. We must be of a yielding and of a submissive spirit, and ready to all the duties of the respective places and stations that God has allotted to us in the world. In the fear of God, that is, so far as is consistent with the fear of God, for his sake, and out of conscience towards him, and that hereby we may give proof that we truly fear him. Where there is this mutual condescension and submission, the duties of all relations will be the better performed. From Eph 5:22 to the end he speaks of the duties of husbands and wives; and he speaks of these in a Christian manner, setting the church as an example of the wife's subjection, and Christ as an example of love in husbands.
I.The duty prescribed to wives is submission to their husbands in the Lord (Eph 5:22), which submission includes the honouring and obeying of them, and that from a principle of love to them. They must do this in compliance with God's authority, who has commanded it, which is doing it as unto the Lord; or it may be understood by way of similitude and likeness, so that the sense may be, "as, being devoted to God, you submit yourselves unto him." From the former sense we may learn that by a conscientious discharge of the duties we owe to our fellow-creatures we obey and please God himself; and, from the latter, that God not only requires and insists on those duties which immediately respect himself, but such as respect our neighbours too. The apostle assigns the reason of this submission from wives: For the husband is the head of the wife, Eph 5:23. The metaphor is taken from the head in the natural body, which, being the seat of reason, of wisdom, and of knowledge, and the fountain of sense and motion, is more excellent than the rest of the body. God has given the man the pre-eminence and a right to direct and govern by creation, and in that original law of the relation, Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. Whatever there is of uneasiness in this, it is an effect of sin coming into the world. Generally, too, the man has (what he ought to have) a superiority in wisdom and knowledge. He is therefore the head, even as Christ is the head of the church. There is a resemblance of Christ's authority over the church in that superiority and headship which God has appointed to the husband. The apostle adds, and he is the Saviour of the body. Christ's authority is exercised over the church for the saving of her from evil, and the supplying of her with every thing good for her. In like manner should the husband be employed for the protection and comfort of his spouse; and therefore she should the more cheerfully submit herself unto him. So it follows, Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ (Eph 5:24), with cheerfulness, with fidelity, with humility, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing - in every thing to which their authority justly extends itself, in every thing lawful and consistent with duty to God.
II.The duty of husbands (on the other hand), is to love their wives (Eph 5:25); for without this they would abuse their superiority and headship, and, wherever this prevails as it ought to do, it will infer the other duties of the relation, it being a special and peculiar affection that is required in her behalf. The love of Christ to the church is proposed as an example of this, which love of his is a sincere, a pure, an ardent, and constant affection, and that notwithstanding the imperfections and failures that she is guilty of. The greatness of his love to the church appeared in his giving himself unto the death for it. Observe, As the church's subjection to Christ is proposed as an exemplar to wives, so the love of Christ to his church is proposed as a pattern to husbands; and while such exemplars are offered to both, and so much is required of each, neither has reason to complain of the divine injunctions. The love which God requires from the husband in behalf of his wife will make amends for the subjection which he demands from her to her husband; and the prescribed subjection of the wife will be an abundant return for that love of the husband which God has made her due. The apostle, having mentioned Christ's love to the church, enlarges upon it, assigning the reason why he gave himself for it, namely, that he might sanctify it in this world, and glorify it in the next: That he might sanctify and cleanse it, with the washing of water by the word (Eph 5:26) - that he might endue all his members with a principle of holiness, and deliver them from the guilt, the pollution, and the dominion of sin. The instrumental means whereby this is affected are the instituted sacraments, particularly the washing of baptism and the preaching and reception of the gospel. And that he might present it to himself, etc., Eph 5:27. Dr. Lightfoot thinks the apostle alludes here to the Jews' extraordinary carefulness in their washings for purification. They were careful that there should be no wrinkle to keep the flesh from the water, and no spot nor dirt which was not thoroughly washed. Others understand him as alluding to a garment come newly out of the fuller's hand, purged from spots, stretched from wrinkles, the former newly contracted, the latter by long time and custom. That he might present it to himself - that he might perfectly unite it to himself in the great day, a glorious church, perfect in knowledge and in holiness, not having spot, nor wrinkle, nor any such thing, nothing of deformity or defilement remaining, but being entirely amiable and pleasing in his eye, holy and without blemish, free from the least remains of sin. The church in general, and particular believers, will not be without spot or wrinkle till they come to glory. From this and the former verse together we may take notice that the glorifying of the church is intended in the sanctifying of it: and that those, and those only, who are sanctified now, will be glorified hereafter. - So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies, etc., Eph 5:28. The wife being made one with her husband (not in a natural, but in a civil and in a relative sense), this is an argument why he should love her with as cordial and as ardent an affection as that which he loves himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, Eph 5:29 - (no man in his right senses ever hated himself, however deformed, or whatever his imperfections might be); so far from it that he nourishes and cherishes it; he uses himself with a great deal of care and tenderness, and is industrious to supply himself with every thing convenient or good for him, with food and clothing, etc. Even as the Lord the church: that is, as the Lord nourishes and cherishes the church, which he furnishes with all things that he sees needful or good for her, with whatever conduces to her everlasting happiness and welfare. The apostle adds, For we are members of his body, of his flesh and of his bones, Eph 5:30. He assigns this as a reason why Christ nourishes and cherishes his church - because all who belong to it are members of his body, that is, of his mystical body. Or, we are members out of his body: all the grace and glory which the church has are from Christ, as Eve was taken out of the man. But, as one observes, it being the manner of the sacred writings to express a complex body by the enumeration of its several parts, as the heaven and earth for the world, evening and morning for the natural day, so here, by body, flesh, and bones, we are to understand himself, the meaning of the verse being that we are members of Christ. - For this cause (because they are one, as Christ and his church are one) shall a man leave his father and mother; the apostle refers to the words of Adam, when Eve was given to him for a meet help, Gen 2:24. We are not to understand by this that a man's obligation to other relations is cancelled upon his marriage, but only that this relation is to be preferred to all others, there being a nearer union between these two than between any others, that the man must rather leave any of those than his wife. - And they two shall be one flesh, that is, by virtue of the matrimonial bond. This is a great mystery, Eph 5:32. Those words of Adam, just mentioned by the apostle, are spoken literally of marriage; but they have also a hidden mystical sense in them, relating to the union between Christ and his church, of which the conjugal union between Adam and the mother of us all was a type: though not instituted or appointed by God to signify this, yet it was a kind of natural type, as having a resemblance to it: I speak concerning Christ and the church.
After this, the apostle concludes this part of his discourse with a brief summary of the duty of husbands and wives, Eph 5:33. "Nevertheless (though there be such a secret mystical sense, yet the plain literal sense concerns you) let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, with such a sincere, peculiar, singular, and prevailing affection as that is which he bears to himself. And the wife see that she reverence her husband." Reverence consists of love and esteem, which produce a care to please, and of fear, which awakens a caution lest just offence be given. That the wife thus reverence her husband is the will of God and the law of the relation.
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Moreover, you were all distinguished by humility, and were in no respect puffed up with pride, but yielded obedience rather than extorted it, and were more willing to give than to receive. [Acts 20:35] Content with the provision which God had made for you, and carefully attending to His words, you were inwardly filled with His doctrine, and His sufferings were before your eyes. Thus a profound and abundant peace was given to you all, and you had an insatiable desire for doing good, while a full outpouring of the Holy Spirit was upon you all.
For if thou submit thyself for a ruler's sake, or for money's sake, or from respectfulness, much more from the fear of Christ. Let there be an interchange of service and submission. For then will there be no such thing as slavish service. Let not one sit down in the rank of a freeman, and the other in the rank of a slave; rather it were better that both masters and slaves be servants to one another;-far better to be a slave in this way than free in any other; as will be evident from hence. Suppose the case of a man who should have an hundred slaves, and he should in no way serve them; and suppose again a different case, of an hundred friends, all waiting upon one another. Which will lead the happier life? Which with the greater pleasure, with the more enjoyment? In the one case there is no anger, no provocation, no wrath, nor anything else of the kind whatever; in the other all is fear and apprehension. In the one case too the whole is forced, in the other is of free choice. In the one case they serve one another because they are forced to do so, in the other with mutual gratification. Thus does God will it to be; for this He washed His disciples' feet. Nay more, if thou hast a mind to examine the matter nicely, there is indeed on the part of masters a return of service. For what if pride suffer not that return of service to appear? Yet if the slave on the one hand render his bodily service, and thou maintain that body, and supply it with food and clothing and shoes, this is an exchange of service: because unless thou render thy service as well, neither will he render his, but will be free, and no law will compel him to do it if he is not supported. If this then is the case with servants, where is the absurdity, if it should also become the case with free men. "Subjecting yourselves in the fear," saith he, "of Christ." How great then the obligation, when we shall also have a reward. But he does not choose to submit himself to thee? However do thou submit thyself; not simply yield, but submit thyself. Entertain this feeling towards all, as if all were thy masters. For thou wilt then more surely make them thine, when without receiving anything of theirs, thou of thyself renderest them of thine own. This is "subjecting yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ," in order that we may subdue all the passions, be servants of God, and preserve the love we owe to one another.
Let bishops hear this, let priests hear, let every rank of learning get this clear: In the church, leaders are servants. Let them imitate the apostle.… The difference between secular rulers and Christian leaders is that the former love to boss their subordinates whereas the latter serve them. We are that much greater if we are considered least of all.
We must not be submissive to those who command us to act unlawfully. But to those who call us to live with piety, we must be subject to one another. Having laid down this general law of obedience, Paul next advises the Ephesians in detail on their duties to another.
Source: Quotations drawn from early Church Fathers and historical Christian theologians (AD 100–1500). Some quotes address the surrounding passage context rather than this verse alone.
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Summary
Ephesians 5:21 presents a foundational principle for Christian communal life, urging believers to voluntarily submit to one another out of profound reverence for God. This concise yet powerful directive serves as the capstone to Paul's exhortation on Spirit-filled living and introduces the subsequent specific instructions for various relational dynamics within the Christian household, emphasizing humility, mutual respect, and a Christ-like posture in all interactions.
Context
Literary Context
This pivotal verse acts as a crucial bridge within Paul's letter to the Ephesians. It immediately follows a series of exhortations on how believers, being "filled with the Spirit" (Ephesians 5:18), should express this spiritual vitality through worship, gratitude, and ultimately, mutual submission. The preceding verses (Ephesians 5:19-20) describe Spirit-filled individuals speaking to one another in psalms and hymns, singing and making melody in their hearts to the Lord, and giving thanks always for all things. Ephesians 5:21 then transitions directly into the "household codes" that begin in Ephesians 5:22, addressing the specific roles and responsibilities within marriage, family, and master-servant relationships. Thus, mutual submission is presented as the overarching attitude and spiritual disposition that undergirds and informs all these specific relational dynamics, ensuring that they are lived out in a manner consistent with the Spirit's leading and God's will.
Historical & Cultural Context
Paul's instructions in Ephesians 5 and 6 are set against the backdrop of common Greco-Roman household codes (known as oikonomia). These societal norms typically outlined hierarchical structures, with the paterfamilias (male head of the household) holding absolute authority over his wife, children, and slaves. While Paul adopts the form of these codes, he radically redefines their content by infusing them with Christian principles. Unlike the pagan codes that emphasized the authority of the head, Paul introduces the revolutionary concept of mutual submission ("one to another") as the starting point for all relationships. This counter-cultural emphasis on reciprocal humility, rooted "in the fear of God," fundamentally transforms the power dynamics, elevating the dignity of all parties and placing their conduct under the ultimate authority and loving gaze of God, rather than mere societal expectation or human power.
Key Themes
Ephesians 5:21 is rich with interconnected theological themes. First, Mutual Submission is paramount, challenging any notion of unilateral authority within the Christian community and emphasizing a reciprocal posture of humility and deference among believers. This is not a coerced subjugation but a voluntary act of valuing others above oneself, echoing Christ's own example of servanthood. Second, the phrase "in the fear of God" highlights Reverence for God as the ultimate motivation for such submission. This "fear" is not a cowering dread, but a profound awe, respect, and worshipful reverence for God's holiness, authority, and love, which compels believers to honor one another as those created in God's image and redeemed by Christ. Finally, this verse is inextricably linked to Spirit-filled Living. It is the direct consequence of being "filled with the Spirit" (Ephesians 5:18), demonstrating that true humility, selflessness, and harmonious relationships are not achieved through human effort alone, but are the supernatural fruit of the Holy Spirit's work within the believer, contrasting sharply with the self-centeredness and pride prevalent in fallen humanity.
Exposition and Analysis
Key Word Analysis
This verb (G5293) literally means "to place under" or "to arrange under," often used in military contexts to describe a subordinate's position. However, in this context, especially with the reflexive "yourselves" and the reciprocal "one to another," it signifies a voluntary act of humility and deference. It implies a willing alignment with God's divine order and a humble attitude towards fellow believers, rather than forced subjugation. It is a conscious choice to yield one's own desires or rights for the sake of another, reflecting the servanthood exemplified by Christ.
This reciprocal pronoun (G240) is critical for understanding the nature of submission commanded here. It explicitly indicates that the act of submission is not a one-way street or a hierarchical command from a superior to an inferior, but a mutual, reciprocal responsibility shared by all believers. It underscores the equality of believers in Christ and emphasizes that humility and deference are to characterize every relationship within the body of Christ, fostering unity and harmony.
While this word (G5401) can mean "alarm or fright," in the context of "fear of God," it carries the profound theological meaning of reverential awe, deep respect, and worshipful reverence. It is not a cowering terror but a healthy, holy dread of offending a holy God, coupled with a profound respect for His majesty, power, and authority. This "fear" serves as the primary motivation for mutual submission, as believers honor one another out of their ultimate devotion and obedience to God Himself.
Verse Breakdown
"Submitting yourselves"
This phrase, derived from the Greek participle hypotassomenoi, carries an imperative force, indicating an ongoing, voluntary action. It calls believers to actively and continuously place themselves under, or yield to, others. This is an internal disposition that manifests in outward acts of humility and service, a conscious choice to prioritize the needs and well-being of fellow believers.
"one to another"
The reciprocal pronoun allḗlōn clarifies that this submission is not unilateral but mutual. It applies to all members of the Christian community, regardless of their social status, gender, or position. It means that every believer is called to a posture of humility and deference toward every other believer, fostering a community where self-interest is superseded by mutual care and respect.
"in the fear of God"
This crucial phrase provides the ultimate motivation and framework for mutual submission. The "fear of God" (phóbō Theou) is not a servile dread but a profound reverence, awe, and respect for God's holiness, sovereignty, and ultimate authority. It is because believers stand in awe of God that they are compelled to honor and serve one another, recognizing that every person is created in God's image and is a recipient of His grace. This divine reverence elevates human relationships from mere social contracts to expressions of worship.
Literary Devices
Ephesians 5:21 effectively employs several literary devices to convey its profound message. The most prominent is the Imperative nature of the command, even though it is expressed as a participle ("submitting yourselves"). This grammatical construction implies that mutual submission is not an option but a necessary and continuous action that flows directly from the preceding command to "be filled with the Spirit" (Ephesians 5:18). The verse also functions as a Transitional Bridge, connecting the general principles of Spirit-filled living (Ephesians 5:18-20) to the specific instructions for various relationships within the Christian household (Ephesians 5:22-6:9). This structural placement highlights that mutual submission is the foundational attitude for all subsequent relational dynamics. Furthermore, there is an implied Contrast or Antithesis with the prevailing societal norms of Paul's day, which emphasized hierarchical authority and self-assertion. By commanding mutual submission, Paul presents a radical, counter-cultural ethic that challenges worldly power structures and promotes a community characterized by humility and self-giving love, mirroring the character of Christ.
Theological and Thematic Connections
Ephesians 5:21 is a theological cornerstone for understanding Christian community, emphasizing that genuine spiritual vitality manifests in humble, reciprocal relationships. It underscores that the "fear of God" is not a crippling dread but a liberating reverence that transforms our interactions, compelling us to honor others as bearers of God's image and co-heirs in Christ. This mutual submission is a practical outworking of the love and unity commanded throughout the New Testament, dismantling pride and self-centeredness to build up the body of Christ in harmony and peace. It reflects the very nature of the Trinity, where each person defers to the others, and calls believers to imitate Christ's self-emptying love.
Reflection and Application
Ephesians 5:21 calls for a radical reorientation of our personal relationships, urging us to adopt a posture of voluntary humility and deference towards one another. This principle transcends mere politeness; it is a deep-seated spiritual commitment to valuing and honoring others within the Christian community, whether in our homes, churches, workplaces, or wider social circles. It challenges our innate tendency towards self-assertion and pride, inviting us instead to be quick to listen, slow to assert our own will, and eager to serve. When we genuinely submit to one another out of reverence for God, we not only foster unity and peace but also powerfully testify to the transformative power of the Gospel. This mutual submission is a tangible expression of the love of Christ, making our fellowship a beacon of divine order and harmony in a fragmented world. It requires a daily dying to self and a conscious choice to prioritize the well-being and spiritual growth of others, trusting that God's will is best for all.
Questions for Reflection
FAQ
Is "submission" in Ephesians 5:21 the same as the "submission" commanded to wives in Ephesians 5:22?
No, while the same Greek root (hypotássō) is used, the context and grammatical construction differentiate them. Ephesians 5:21 commands mutual submission ("one to another") for all believers, flowing from a Spirit-filled life. It sets a general attitude of humility and deference for the entire Christian community. Ephesians 5:22 then applies this general principle to a specific relationship, instructing wives to submit to their own husbands. This specific instruction is part of a larger set of "household codes" (Ephesians 5:22-33 and Ephesians 6:1-9), where Paul addresses husbands, children, parents, slaves, and masters, providing reciprocal duties for each. The mutual submission of Ephesians 5:21 is the overarching principle that informs and dignifies the specific roles outlined thereafter, ensuring that even within specific structures, the spirit of Christ-like humility and service prevails.
What does "in the fear of God" truly mean in this context? Is it about being afraid of God?
No, "in the fear of God" (Greek: phóbō Theou) does not primarily mean to be terrified or cowering in dread of God. Instead, it refers to a profound, reverential awe, respect, and worshipful honor for God. It is the proper, holy response to His immense power, holiness, majesty, and love. This "fear" is foundational to wisdom and right living, as seen in Proverbs 9:10. In Ephesians 5:21, it means that believers submit to one another not out of obligation to human rules or social pressure, but because their ultimate allegiance and reverence belong to God. Their respect for God compels them to honor and serve those whom God has created and redeemed, recognizing that every act of humility towards a fellow believer is ultimately an act of worship and obedience to God Himself.
Christ-Centered Fulfillment
Ephesians 5:21 finds its ultimate fulfillment and perfect example in the person and work of Jesus Christ. His entire earthly life was an embodiment of radical self-submission, not only to the will of His Father but also to the needs of humanity. The divine Son, who existed in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a servant (Philippians 2:6-7). He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross (Philippians 2:8). Jesus's life was a continuous act of mutual submission, as He not only taught His disciples about servanthood by washing their feet (John 13:1-17) but also demonstrated it perfectly. He came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45). Therefore, when believers are called to submit "one to another in the fear of God," they are called to imitate the very heart of Christ, whose supreme reverence for the Father drove His selfless love and service towards humanity. The Church, as the body of Christ, is meant to reflect this divine humility and reciprocal love, becoming a living testament to the self-giving nature of its Head.