Numbers 11:15

KJV

And if thou deal thus with me, kill me, I pray thee, out of hand, if I have found favour in thy sight; and let me not see my wretchedness.

KJV (with Strong's)

And if thou deal {H6213} thus with me, kill {H2026} me, I pray thee, out of hand {H2026}, if I have found {H4672} favour {H2580} in thy sight {H5869}; and let me not see {H7200} my wretchedness {H7451}.

Complete Jewish Bible

If you are going to treat me this way, then just kill me outright! - please, if you have any mercy toward me! -and don't let me go on being this miserable!"

Berean Standard Bible

If this is how You are going to treat me, please kill me right now—if I have found favor in Your eyes—and let me not see my own wretchedness.”

American Standard Version

And if thou deal thus with me, kill me, I pray thee, out of hand, if I have found favor in thy sight; and let me not see my wretchedness.

Commentary

### SUMMARY
Numbers 11:15 captures a raw and profound moment of despair in the life of Moses, the divinely appointed leader of Israel. Overwhelmed by the incessant grumbling and spiritual immaturity of the Israelites, and feeling the crushing weight of their care, Moses cries out to God, pleading for immediate death rather than continuing to witness the misery and spiritual decline of his people and the immense burden placed upon him. This desperate prayer reveals the intense psychological and emotional toll that spiritual leadership can exact, even on God's most faithful servants.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** Numbers 11:15 is the apex of Moses' personal lament to God following a fresh wave of Israelite complaining. The chapter opens with the people grumbling, leading to a divine fire that consumes the outskirts of the camp, a judgment that is only quenched by Moses' intercession (Numbers 11:1-3). Immediately after, a "mixed multitude" among them, and then all Israel, express intense craving for the diverse foods of Egypt, despising the manna God miraculously provided daily (Numbers 11:4-9). This insatiable desire and profound ingratitude deeply distress Moses, who feels the full, impossible burden of leading such a rebellious people. He pours out his heart to God in a series of rhetorical questions, expressing his utter inability to "carry all this people" like a nursing child, questioning if he had conceived or given birth to them (Numbers 11:10-14). His plea for death in [Numbers 11:15](/numbers/11-15 "Numbers 11:15 - Moses' Desperate Plea") is the climax of this personal crisis, preceding God's compassionate response to lighten his load by appointing seventy elders (Numbers 11:16-17).
* **Historical & Cultural Context:** The setting is the wilderness journey, a period of profound formation for the nascent nation of Israel following their miraculous liberation from Egyptian bondage. This generation, having witnessed astounding miracles—the plagues, the Red Sea crossing, the giving of the Law at Sinai—repeatedly demonstrates a lack of faith, a propensity for complaining, and a longing for the perceived comforts of their former slavery. Moses, as God's chosen mediator and leader, bore the immense responsibility of guiding this vast, often rebellious, multitude through a harsh desert environment. His leadership was not merely political or military but profoundly spiritual, encompassing judicial, priestly, and prophetic functions. The cultural expectation of a leader in the ancient Near East often involved absolute authority, but also immense personal responsibility for the well-being and conduct of the people. Moses' unique relationship with God, characterized by direct communication "face to face" (Exodus 33:11), placed an even greater spiritual burden on him, making the people's persistent rebellion a direct affront not only to him but to God Himself.
* **Key Themes:** This verse powerfully contributes to several overarching themes in the book of Numbers and the Pentateuch. It underscores **The Burden of Leadership**, revealing that even divinely appointed figures like Moses are profoundly human and susceptible to immense pressure and despair when faced with constant ingratitude and rebellion. It highlights **Human Frailty and Dependence on God**, demonstrating that even the most faithful servants can reach the limits of their endurance and cry out in desperation, acknowledging their need for divine intervention. This moment also serves as a stark illustration of **The Destructive Nature of Complaining**, as the Israelites' persistent grumbling drives their leader to the brink of death, illustrating how sin impacts not only the individual but also those around them. Finally, while Moses' request for death is not granted, this passage implicitly sets the stage for **God's Compassionate Provision**, as He responds not by ending Moses' life but by providing a solution to alleviate his burden, as seen in [Numbers 11:16-17](/numbers/11-16-17 "Numbers 11:16-17 - God Provides Seventy Elders to Share the Burden").

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS
#### Key Word Analysis
* **deal (Hebrew, _‘âsâh'_):** From H6213, a primitive root meaning "to do or make, in the broadest sense and widest application." In this context, "if thou deal thus with me" refers to the continuation of the current, unbearable situation—the ongoing burden of leading the complaining and ungrateful Israelites. Moses is essentially saying, "If you are going to continue to make me bear this burden alone, in this manner..." It expresses his utter inability to sustain the current state of affairs.
* **kill (Hebrew, _hârag'_):** From H2026, a primitive root meaning "to smite with deadly intent; kill, slay, murder." The KJV's "out of hand" (literally "killing, kill me" or "slay me outright") underscores the absolute and immediate nature of Moses' plea. It is not a casual wish but a fervent, desperate request for a swift end to his life as an escape from his overwhelming suffering and responsibility.
* **wretchedness (Hebrew, _raʻ'_):** From H7451, meaning "bad or (as noun) evil (natural or moral); adversity, affliction, misery, calamity." Moses' desire is to be spared from witnessing the full extent of the calamity or misery he anticipates befalling him or the people under his leadership. He feels utterly incapable of preventing or enduring this impending "wretchedness," whether it be the ongoing spiritual decline of the people, the consequences of their rebellion, or his own continued suffering under the burden.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"And if thou deal thus with me":** This opening clause sets a conditional premise for Moses' desperate prayer. It implies that the current state of affairs—the immense, crushing burden of leading the rebellious Israelites—is utterly unbearable for him. He is essentially saying, "If this is how you intend for me to continue, if this is the burden I must carry, then..."
* **"kill me, I pray thee, out of hand":** This is the direct, shocking, and desperate request. Moses asks for immediate death. The phrase "out of hand" (or "at once," "straightway") emphasizes the urgency and intensity of his desire to escape his suffering without delay. It is a fervent plea for divine intervention to end his life rather than continue in his current state of overwhelming despair.
* **"if I have found favour in thy sight":** Moses appeals to his established relationship with God, specifically to the favor he believes he has found. This is not a challenge to God's will but a plea for compassion based on their covenant relationship. He is asking God, "If you truly care for me and have blessed me, then grant me this release from suffering."
* **"and let me not see my wretchedness":** This final clause clarifies the ultimate aim of his plea for death. Moses wishes to be spared from witnessing the full extent of the misery, calamity, or spiritual decline that he foresees for himself or for the nation under his leadership. He feels utterly incapable of enduring or preventing this impending "wretchedness," and death appears to him as the only escape from this unbearable future.

#### Literary Devices
Numbers 11:15 is rich in **Pathos**, evoking deep sympathy for Moses as he expresses his profound despair and vulnerability. His direct address to God is an example of **Apostrophe**, a figure of speech where a speaker directly addresses an absent or imaginary person or an abstract quality or entity. The extreme nature of his request ("kill me") can be seen as **Hyperbole**, an exaggeration used for emphasis, underscoring the overwhelming nature of his burden and the depth of his emotional distress. There is also a subtle **Irony** in the leader chosen by God for liberation and life now pleading for death as his ultimate release. This prayer serves as a powerful **Lament**, a common biblical literary form expressing sorrow, grief, or complaint, often directed to God.

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
Moses' desperate plea in Numbers 11:15 is a stark reminder of the profound humanity of even the greatest biblical figures and the immense spiritual and emotional toll that leadership, especially in the face of constant opposition and ingratitude, can exact. It underscores that God's chosen servants are not immune to despair, burnout, or the feeling of being utterly overwhelmed. This passage reveals a God who is not distant or unapproachable but one who allows His servants to express their rawest emotions, even a desire for death, and responds not with condemnation but with compassion and practical provision. It highlights the principle that while God gives callings, He also provides the means and support necessary to fulfill them, often through shared responsibility and community, demonstrating His faithfulness even when His people are faithless.

* [1 Kings 19:4](/1_kings/19-4 "1 Kings 19:4 - Elijah's Despair")
* [Job 3:11](/job/3-11 "Job 3:11 - Job's Lament for Death")
* [Jeremiah 20:14-18](/jeremiah/20-14-18 "Jeremiah 20:14-18 - Jeremiah's Curse of His Birth")

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Moses' raw and unfiltered prayer in Numbers 11:15 offers profound lessons for believers today. It normalizes the experience of deep despair, even for those faithfully serving God. We learn that it is not a sign of weakness or lack of faith to feel overwhelmed, burdened, or even to cry out to God in our darkest moments. God can handle our honesty, our frustrations, and our deepest fears. This passage powerfully illustrates the vital need for support systems, especially for those in leadership roles, reminding us that no one is meant to bear the burden of ministry or life alone. Just as God provided seventy elders for Moses, He often provides community, friends, family, and fellow believers to share our loads. Furthermore, the context of Israel's grumbling serves as a potent warning against the destructive power of a complaining spirit, which not only dishonors God but can also crush the spirits of those around us, including our leaders. Our response to life's challenges, whether in leadership or as followers, should be one of faith, gratitude, and mutual support, rather than constant complaint, recognizing that our attitudes profoundly impact those with whom we share life and ministry.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by a burden or responsibility that you wished for an escape, even death? How did you deal with those feelings, and what did you learn about God's presence in your despair?**
* **What does Moses' honesty with God teach us about the nature of prayer and the depth of our relationship with the Divine?**
* **In what ways might the "grumbling" or ingratitude of others contribute to the despair of those in leadership positions today, whether in the church, community, or family?**
* **How can we better support our leaders (in church, community, or family) to prevent them from reaching such points of despair, and what specific actions can we take?**
* **What practical steps can you take when you feel overwhelmed, drawing lessons from God's compassionate response to Moses (even if not explicitly in this specific verse)?**

### FAQ
**Was Moses wrong to ask God to kill him?**

Answer: While Moses' request for death seems extreme, the biblical text does not condemn him for it. Instead, it portrays it as a raw, honest expression of his utter despair and the overwhelming burden he felt. It demonstrates that God is big enough to handle our deepest fears, frustrations, and even our most desperate cries. Many other biblical figures, such as Elijah ([1 Kings 19:4](/1_kings/19-4 "1 Kings 19:4 - Elijah's Despair")) and Job ([Job 3:11](/job/3-11 "Job 3:11 - Job's Lament for Death")), also expressed a desire for death in moments of extreme suffering. God's response to Moses was not rebuke, but compassion and provision, indicating His understanding of human frailty and the immense pressure Moses was under.

**How did God respond to Moses' desperate plea in Numbers 11:15?**

Answer: God did not grant Moses' specific request for death. Instead, He responded with immense compassion and practical provision. Immediately following Moses' lament, God instructed him to gather seventy elders from among the people, upon whom God would put some of the Spirit that was on Moses. This would enable them to share the burden of leadership, alleviating the crushing weight that Moses felt alone ([Numbers 11:16-17](/numbers/11-16-17 "Numbers 11:16-17 - God Provides Seventy Elders to Share the Burden")). This demonstrates God's understanding of human limitations and His willingness to provide support and resources when His servants are overwhelmed, turning a moment of despair into an opportunity for divine provision and community building.

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
Moses' profound despair and his inability to bear the burden of the people alone in [Numbers 11:15](/numbers/11-15 "Numbers 11:15 - Moses' Desperate Plea") powerfully foreshadow the ultimate burden-bearer, Jesus Christ. Moses, as a type of mediator and leader, reveals the inherent limitations of human capacity to carry the weight of sin and rebellion. While Moses cried out for death to escape his "wretchedness" and the people's sin, Jesus willingly embraced the ultimate "wretchedness" of humanity's sin, taking it upon Himself. He is the true [Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world](/john/1-29 "John 1:29 - Jesus, the Lamb of God"), bearing not just the complaints of a wilderness generation, but the entire weight of human fallenness. Unlike Moses, who pleaded for release, Christ endured the cross, despising its shame, for the joy set before Him ([Hebrews 12:2](/hebrews/12-2 "Hebrews 12:2 - Looking to Jesus")). He perfectly fulfills the role of the compassionate High Priest who can truly sympathize with our weaknesses, having been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sin ([Hebrews 4:15](/hebrews/4-15 "Hebrews 4:15 - Our Great High Priest")). Where Moses was overwhelmed and sought an end to his suffering, Jesus invites all who labor and are heavy laden to [come to Him for rest](/matthew/11-28 "Matthew 11:28 - Come to Me"), offering not merely a shared burden but complete redemption, peace, and eternal life through His finished work.

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.

Cross-References

1 Kings 19:4

But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life; for I [am] not better than my fathers.

Jeremiah 20:18

Wherefore came I forth out of the womb to see labour and sorrow, that my days should be consumed with shame?

Jonah 4:8

And it came to pass, when the sun did arise, that God prepared a vehement east wind; and the sun beat upon the head of Jonah, that he fainted, and wished in himself to die, and said, [It is] better for me to die than to live.

Jonah 4:9

And God said to Jonah, Doest thou well to be angry for the gourd? And he said, I do well to be angry, [even] unto death.

Jonah 4:3

Therefore now, O LORD, take, I beseech thee, my life from me; for [it is] better for me to die than to live.

Philippians 1:20

According to my earnest expectation and [my] hope, that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but [that] with all boldness, as always, [so] now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether [it be] by life, or by death.

Philippians 1:24

Nevertheless to abide in the flesh [is] more needful for you.