Proverbs 21:14

KJV

¶ A gift in secret pacifieth anger: and a reward in the bosom strong wrath.

KJV (with Strong's)

A gift {H4976} in secret {H5643} pacifieth {H3711} anger {H639}: and a reward {H7810} in the bosom {H2436} strong {H5794} wrath {H2534}.

Complete Jewish Bible

A secret gift allays anger, and a bribe under the cloak the strongest fury.

Berean Standard Bible

A gift in secret soothes anger, and a covert bribe pacifies great wrath.

American Standard Version

A gift in secret pacifieth anger; And a present in the bosom, strong wrath.

Commentary

### SUMMARY
Proverbs 21:14 offers a profound insight into human psychology and conflict resolution, asserting that a discreetly offered gift or conciliatory gesture possesses remarkable power to de-escalate intense anger and strong wrath. The proverb highlights the efficacy of private, tactful action over public confrontation, suggesting that a hidden act of appeasement can bypass immediate emotional defenses and foster an environment conducive to peace, even in the face of deep-seated fury. It underscores the wisdom of strategic humility in navigating volatile interpersonal dynamics.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** Proverbs 21 is part of the "Solomonic collection" (Proverbs 10-22:16), a compilation of individual maxims offering practical wisdom for daily living. These proverbs often stand alone, presenting astute observations about human nature, ethical conduct, and the consequences of actions. Verse 14 fits seamlessly within a broader theme of wisdom applied to interpersonal relationships and social dynamics, frequently exploring how words, actions, and attitudes impact one's standing and peace within the community. It shares common ground with other proverbs that emphasize the power of speech and action in defusing tension, such as the calming effect of a soft answer found in [Proverbs 15:1](/proverbs/15-1 "Proverbs 15:1 - A Soft Answer Turns Away Wrath"), or the destructive nature of strife in [Proverbs 17:14](/proverbs/17-14 "Proverbs 17:14 - The Beginning of Strife"). The proverb's concise, two-part structure is typical of Hebrew parallelism, reinforcing its central message.
* **Historical & Cultural Context:** In the ancient Near East, gift-giving was a multifaceted social practice with deep cultural significance. While it could indeed function as an unethical bribe, particularly in judicial contexts (as explicitly condemned in [Exodus 23:8](/exodus/23-8 "Exodus 23:8 - Do Not Take a Bribe") and [Deuteronomy 16:19](/deuteronomy/16-19 "Deuteronomy 16:19 - Do Not Pervert Justice")), gifts also served legitimate and honorable purposes: tribute to a king, a sign of respect, a diplomatic overture, or an act of appeasement to avert conflict or gain favor. The distinction often lay in the intent and the context. In this proverb, the "gift" and "reward" are presented as tools for pacifying anger, a pragmatic observation on social interaction. The emphasis on "secret" and "bosom" points to a cultural understanding that public humiliation or perceived manipulation could exacerbate anger, whereas a private, respectful gesture allowed both parties to save face and facilitated reconciliation without public spectacle, preserving dignity.
* **Key Themes:** This proverb underscores several key themes prevalent throughout the Book of Proverbs and the broader wisdom tradition. Firstly, the **Power of Discretion** is paramount; the hidden nature of the gift prevents it from being misconstrued as a public bribe or an act of condescension, allowing it to be received as a genuine, face-saving gesture. Secondly, it highlights the theme of **Conflict Resolution and Peacemaking**, offering a practical, albeit shrewd, method for de-escalating intense emotional states. It acknowledges the human susceptibility to gestures of goodwill, even when consumed by fury, aligning with the wisdom tradition's emphasis on seeking peace and avoiding strife, as seen in [Proverbs 16:7](/proverbs/16-7 "Proverbs 16:7 - When a man’s ways please the LORD, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him"). Lastly, the proverb offers a keen insight into **Human Psychology**, recognizing that a private act of generosity or appeasement can bypass immediate emotional defenses, appealing to a more rational or self-interested part of the angry individual, thereby "pacifying" their wrath.

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS
#### Key Word Analysis
* **gift (Hebrew, _mattân'_):** (H4976) From the root `nātan` (to give), this word refers to a present or donation. While it can denote a "reward," in this context, it signifies an offering intended to influence or appease, highlighting its nature as something freely given to achieve a specific outcome.
* **secret (Hebrew, _çêther'_):** (H5643) This term denotes a cover, a hiding place, or something done "privily." Its inclusion is crucial, emphasizing the discreet, non-public nature of the gift, which is essential for its effectiveness in avoiding public shame or the perception of bribery.
* **pacifieth (Hebrew, _kâphâh'_):** (H3711) A primitive root meaning "to bend," or figuratively, "to tame or subdue." In this context, it precisely describes the action of calming or neutralizing intense anger, implying a process of bringing it under control, much like taming a wild animal.
* **wrath (Hebrew, _chêmâh'_):):** (H2534) This word signifies "heat," and figuratively, intense anger, fury, or indignation. It is often associated with a passionate, boiling rage, emphasizing the severity and vehemence of the emotion that the gift is intended to subdue.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"A gift in secret pacifieth anger":** This initial clause sets forth the primary assertion of the proverb: a present given discreetly, without fanfare or public display, possesses the remarkable power to calm or subdue anger. The emphasis on "secret" is crucial, suggesting that the effectiveness lies in avoiding any perception of public humiliation or manipulation, allowing the recipient to accept the gesture without losing face or feeling coerced. It speaks to the psychological impact of a private, non-confrontational approach.
* **"and a reward in the bosom strong wrath."** This second clause functions as a synonymous parallelism, reinforcing and intensifying the meaning of the first. "A reward" (Hebrew, _shachad'_ H7810) is another term for a donation or gift, sometimes with connotations of a bribe, but here used in the context of appeasement. "In the bosom" (Hebrew, _chêyq'_ H2436) refers to something held close, privately, or intimately, further underscoring the discreet, personal nature of the transaction. "Strong wrath" (Hebrew, _ʻaz chêmâh'_ H5794, H2534) intensifies "anger," indicating a powerful, vehement fury that even such a severe emotion can be subdued by a hidden, well-placed gesture.

#### Literary Devices
Proverbs 21:14 masterfully employs several **Literary Devices** to convey its message with striking clarity and impact. The most prominent is **Synonymous Parallelism**, where the second clause ("and a reward in the bosom strong wrath") reiterates and amplifies the meaning of the first clause ("A gift in secret pacifieth anger"). Both clauses express the same core idea but use different vocabulary and imagery to deepen the impact and underscore the proverb's truth. The phrase "in the bosom" serves as a powerful **Metaphor** for privacy, intimacy, and a hidden transaction, suggesting a personal, non-public exchange that avoids scrutiny or shame. The use of "strong wrath" is a form of **Intensification** or **Hyperbole**, emphasizing the extreme nature of the emotion that can be overcome, thereby underscoring the potent efficacy of the discreet gift. The proverb also demonstrates keen **Psychological Insight**, observing a fundamental truth about human behavior and the dynamics of conflict resolution, making it a timeless piece of wisdom literature that transcends its ancient context.

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
This proverb, while pragmatic in its observation of human nature, resonates with deeper theological principles concerning peace, reconciliation, and the wise management of relationships. It implicitly teaches the value of humility, discretion, and strategic action in defusing tension, aligning with biblical calls to pursue peace whenever possible. The discreet nature of the gift highlights the importance of motive and method in peacemaking; genuine reconciliation often requires a humble approach that prioritizes the other's dignity over one's own public display or self-vindication. The proverb reminds us that wisdom involves understanding the subtle levers of human emotion and employing tactful means to achieve harmonious ends, rather than relying on brute force, public confrontation, or self-righteousness. It points to the divine wisdom that often works in quiet, unassuming ways to bring about profound change.

* [Proverbs 15:1](/proverbs/15-1 "Proverbs 15:1 - A Soft Answer Turns Away Wrath")
* [Romans 12:18](/romans/12-18 "Romans 12:18 - Live Peaceably With All")
* [Matthew 5:9](/matthew/5-9 "Matthew 5:9 - Blessed Are the Peacemakers")

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Proverbs 21:14 offers a timeless and profoundly practical lesson in the art of de-escalation and reconciliation. In a world often characterized by public disputes, confrontational rhetoric, and the temptation to shame opponents, this proverb champions the quiet power of discretion and the surprising effectiveness of a well-timed, humble gesture. It challenges us to consider that sometimes, the most impactful actions are those performed away from the spotlight, designed to save face for all parties involved and allow for genuine emotional de-escalation. Whether in personal relationships, professional settings, or even broader social interactions, a discreet act of kindness, a sincere private apology, a thoughtful, unannounced concession, or a quiet act of service can often achieve what direct argument, public posturing, or aggressive confrontation cannot. It encourages a proactive, shrewd, and empathetic approach to maintaining harmony, reminding us that true wisdom often lies in understanding human psychology and applying practical principles for peace, even when facing "strong wrath." This proverb calls us to be peacemakers who act with foresight and humility.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **When have you witnessed or experienced a discreet act effectively de-escalate a tense situation, and what made it so effective?**
* **How can the principle of "a gift in secret" be applied to modern-day conflicts, both personal and public, without resorting to unethical practices or compromising integrity?**
* **What does this proverb teach us about the importance of humility, tact, and the preservation of dignity in seeking reconciliation?**
* **In what ways might a public display of appeasement differ in its effect from a private one, according to the wisdom of this proverb, and why is this distinction crucial?**

### FAQ
**Is this proverb advocating for bribery?**

Answer: Not necessarily. While the Hebrew word for "reward" (_shachad_ H7810) can sometimes refer to a bribe, the context here emphasizes its function in "pacifying anger" and "strong wrath." The key distinction lies in the intent and the outcome. A bribe is typically given to corrupt justice, pervert judgment, or gain an unfair advantage, which is consistently condemned in Scripture (e.g., [Deuteronomy 16:19](/deuteronomy/16-19 "Deuteronomy 16:19 - Do Not Pervert Justice")). Here, the "gift in secret" is presented as a means of de-escalation and reconciliation, aiming to restore peace rather than subvert righteousness. It's a pragmatic observation on human psychology, noting that a conciliatory gesture, especially when discreetly offered, can disarm intense emotions. The wisdom literature often observes human behavior as it is, not always as it should be, but here it suggests a practical tool for conflict resolution that, when applied ethically, can be beneficial. Consider the example of Jacob sending gifts ahead to Esau in [Genesis 32:20](/genesis/32-20 "Genesis 32:20 - Jacob's Gifts to Esau") to pacify his brother's potential anger and avert conflict.

**Why is the emphasis on "secret" or "in the bosom"?**

Answer: The emphasis on "secret" (Hebrew, _çêther_ H5643) and "in the bosom" (Hebrew, _chêyq_ H2436) is crucial for the effectiveness of the gift in this context. A public gift, especially in a conflict situation, could easily be perceived as a public bribe, an act of condescension, or an attempt to humiliate the angry party. Such a public display could easily backfire, intensifying the anger rather than pacifying it, as it strips the recipient of dignity. By contrast, a discreet, private offering allows the recipient to accept the gesture without losing face or feeling publicly shamed. It creates a space for genuine de-escalation and reconciliation, appealing to a more rational or gracious response, as it avoids the pitfalls of public spectacle and preserves the dignity of all involved. This aligns with the principle of humility in peacemaking.

**How does this proverb apply to modern conflict resolution?**

Answer: This proverb offers profound insights applicable to modern conflict resolution, both personal and societal. It underscores the power of humility, discretion, and strategic empathy. In personal arguments, a private apology, a quiet act of service, or a thoughtful, unannounced gesture of reconciliation can often mend fences more effectively than public declarations or debates, which can escalate tensions. In professional settings, a discreet concession or a thoughtful, unannounced gesture of goodwill can defuse tensions and build bridges without creating public embarrassment. The principle suggests that sometimes, the most powerful way to address "strong wrath" is not through direct confrontation or public shaming, but through a quiet, respectful act that acknowledges the other's feelings and opens a path for reconciliation, much like the wisdom found in [Proverbs 17:14](/proverbs/17-14 "Proverbs 17:14 - The Beginning of Strife") which warns against the dangers of unchecked strife.

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
Proverbs 21:14, with its focus on pacifying wrath through a discreet gift, finds its ultimate and most profound fulfillment in the person and work of Jesus Christ. Humanity was estranged from God, not merely under "anger" but under the "strong wrath" of divine justice due to pervasive sin (cf. [Romans 1:18](/romans/1-18 "Romans 1:18 - God's Wrath Against Sin") and [Ephesians 2:3](/ephesians/2-3 "Ephesians 2:3 - Children of Wrath")). Yet, God, in His infinite wisdom and love, did not confront humanity with overwhelming force or public condemnation, but offered the ultimate "gift in secret"—His Son, Jesus Christ. The incarnation, God becoming man, was a humble, discreet act, not a public spectacle of power, but a quiet, almost unnoticed entry into human history, born in a manger (cf. [Philippians 2:5-8](/philippians/2-5-8 "Philippians 2:5-8 - Christ's Humility and Obedience")). Christ's sacrifice on the cross was the perfect "reward in the bosom," a propitiatory offering that "pacifieth anger" (divine wrath) by covering our sin, not through human bribery or manipulation, but through divine atonement (cf. [Romans 5:8-10](/romans/5-8-10 "Romans 5:8-10 - Reconciliation Through Christ's Death")). He became the [Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world](/john/1-29 "John 1:29 - Jesus, the Lamb of God"), whose quiet, humble sacrifice brought about reconciliation and peace between God and humanity. Thus, the wisdom of Proverbs 21:14 points forward to the discreet, humble, and ultimately redemptive "gift" of Christ, which alone can pacify the deepest wrath and bring eternal peace to those who believe.

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.

Cross-References

Proverbs 18:16

¶ A man's gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men.

Proverbs 19:6

¶ Many will intreat the favour of the prince: and every man [is] a friend to him that giveth gifts.

Proverbs 17:8

¶ A gift [is as] a precious stone in the eyes of him that hath it: whithersoever it turneth, it prospereth.

Matthew 6:3

But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:

Matthew 6:4

That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.

Genesis 32:20

And say ye moreover, Behold, thy servant Jacob [is] behind us. For he said, I will appease him with the present that goeth before me, and afterward I will see his face; peradventure he will accept of me.

1 Samuel 25:35

So David received of her hand [that] which she had brought him, and said unto her, Go up in peace to thine house; see, I have hearkened to thy voice, and have accepted thy person.