Proverbs 19:13

KJV

¶ A foolish son [is] the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife [are] a continual dropping.

KJV (with Strong's)

A foolish {H3684} son {H1121} is the calamity {H1942} of his father {H1}: and the contentions {H4079} of a wife {H802} are a continual {H2956} dropping {H1812}.

Complete Jewish Bible

A son who is a fool is his father's ruin, and a nagging wife is like a leak that keeps dripping.

Berean Standard Bible

A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.

American Standard Version

A foolish son is the calamity of his father; And the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.

Commentary

### SUMMARY
Proverbs 19:13 vividly portrays two significant sources of profound domestic distress: the destructive impact of a foolish son upon his father and the relentless erosion of peace caused by a contentious wife. This proverb from the wisdom tradition underscores the critical importance of individual character and behavior in shaping the harmony or discord within the family unit, serving as a poignant warning against choices that lead to deep sorrow and persistent relational strain.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** Proverbs 19 is part of the "Solomonic collection" (Proverbs 10-22:16), a compilation of individual sayings that offer practical wisdom for daily living. This chapter, in particular, frequently contrasts the wise and the foolish, the righteous and the wicked, highlighting the inevitable consequences of each path. Verse 13 fits squarely within this theme by illustrating the direct and painful outcomes of foolishness (in a son) and contention (in a wife) within the most intimate of human relationships – the family. It stands alongside other proverbs that emphasize the value of wisdom in personal conduct and the profound impact of one's character on others, particularly parents and spouses. The preceding verses often deal with justice, poverty, and the nature of wisdom, making this verse a specific application of general wisdom principles to the domestic sphere.
* **Historical & Cultural Context:** In ancient Israelite society, the family was the foundational unit, and lineage was paramount. A son was expected to carry on the family name, honor his father, and contribute to the household's well-being. A "foolish son" (one who is morally deficient, lazy, or rebellious) brought not only personal grief to his father but also shame and potential ruin to the entire family's reputation and economic stability. The father, as the patriarch, bore the weight of this calamity deeply. Similarly, the role of a wife was central to the home's peace and order. While the proverb specifically mentions a wife, the principle of contention eroding peace applies universally. Homes were often small, and constant bickering or strife would have been inescapable and deeply disruptive, making the domestic space a source of torment rather than refuge. The metaphor of a "continual dropping" would have resonated strongly in a culture where dwellings might have leaky roofs, a persistent nuisance that slowly but surely causes damage and discomfort.
* **Key Themes:** Proverbs 19:13 contributes to several overarching themes in the Book of Proverbs. Firstly, it powerfully illustrates the **consequences of folly**, showing that unwise choices and character defects have tangible, painful repercussions, especially within the family. A foolish son's actions are not isolated but directly cause "calamity" for his father, echoing the grief described in [Proverbs 17:21](/proverbs/17-21 "Proverbs 17:21 - A Foolish Son Brings Grief"). Secondly, the verse highlights the critical importance of **domestic harmony** and the destructive nature of **marital strife**. The "continual dropping" metaphor vividly portrays how persistent contention erodes peace and joy, a theme also found in [Proverbs 21:9](/proverbs/21-9 "Proverbs 21:9 - Better to Live on a Rooftop Than With a Quarreling Wife"). Implicitly, the proverb champions the pursuit of wisdom, self-control, and peaceful communication as essential for building a thriving household, emphasizing that true wealth lies not just in possessions but in relational well-being and the absence of internal conflict.

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS
#### Key Word Analysis
* **foolish (Hebrew, _kᵉçîyl'_):** From the root meaning "fat," this word figuratively describes someone who is stupid, silly, or morally deficient. It refers not merely to a lack of intelligence but to a stubborn refusal to embrace wisdom, instruction, and the fear of the Lord. A "foolish son" is one whose character and actions are marked by this spiritual and practical deficiency, leading to destructive outcomes.
* **calamity (Hebrew, _havvâh'_):** Derived from a root suggesting "eagerly coveting and rushing upon," this term implies desire, but more commonly, it signifies ruin, mischief, or wickedness. In this context, it denotes a profound misfortune, a devastating blow, or a deep sorrow that overwhelms the father. It is more than a minor annoyance; it is a significant, destructive event or state brought about by the son's foolishness.
* **dropping (Hebrew, _deleph'_):** This word directly means "a dripping" or "a leak." When combined with "continual" (from _ṭârad_, meaning "to drive on" or "to follow close"), it paints a vivid picture of persistent, irritating, and slow but sure erosion. It's not a sudden flood, but an incessant, wearing away of peace and comfort, illustrating the cumulative and destructive effect of ongoing domestic strife.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"A foolish son is the calamity of his father":** This clause establishes a direct cause-and-effect relationship. The character and actions of a son who lacks wisdom and moral uprightness directly result in profound sorrow, trouble, and even ruin for his father. This "calamity" encompasses emotional grief, social shame, and potentially economic hardship, highlighting the deep interconnectedness of family members in ancient society.
* **"and the contentions of a wife":** This introduces the second source of domestic distress. "Contentions" refers to quarrels, disputes, or bickering. It describes a pattern of strife and discord within the marital relationship, implying a lack of peace, agreement, and mutual respect.
* **"are a continual dropping":** This is a powerful metaphorical comparison. Just as a persistent leak of water slowly but surely damages a structure and wears down those within it, so too do constant arguments and disputes within a marriage erode joy, peace, and love. It speaks to the cumulative, irritating, and ultimately destructive nature of unresolved conflict and persistent negativity in the home.

#### Literary Devices
Proverbs 19:13 employs several potent literary devices to convey its message. The most prominent is **Metaphor**, specifically in the comparison of "the contentions of a wife" to a "continual dropping." This vivid image effectively communicates the slow, persistent, and ultimately destructive nature of incessant marital strife, much like water erosion. The proverb also utilizes **Parallelism** (though not strictly synonymous or antithetical) by presenting two distinct but equally grievous sources of domestic distress, creating a balanced yet impactful statement about household burdens. Furthermore, there is an element of **Hyperbole** in the use of "calamity" to describe the impact of a foolish son; while certainly painful, the term emphasizes the profound and devastating grief a father can experience. The stark imagery and direct language contribute to the proverb's memorable and didactic quality, serving as a powerful warning.

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
This proverb deeply resonates with the biblical emphasis on wisdom, righteousness, and the sanctity of the family unit. It underscores the theological truth that human choices have real, often painful, consequences, not just for the individual but for those intimately connected to them. The "calamity" of a foolish son speaks to the brokenness that sin and rebellion bring into relationships, reflecting the fall's impact on human harmony. Similarly, the "continual dropping" of contention highlights how a lack of self-control, patience, and love—qualities rooted in God's character—can erode the very fabric of peace within the home, a space God intends for refuge and blessing. Ultimately, the proverb implicitly calls for a life lived in wisdom and harmony, recognizing that true peace is a gift from God, cultivated through obedience to His principles.

* [Proverbs 10:1](/proverbs/10-1 "Proverbs 10:1 - A Wise Son Makes a Glad Father")
* [Proverbs 27:15](/proverbs/27-15 "Proverbs 27:15 - A Constant Dripping and a Contentious Wife")
* [Ephesians 5:33](/ephesians/5-33 "Ephesians 5:33 - Husbands Love Your Wives, Wives Respect Your Husbands")

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Proverbs 19:13 offers timeless wisdom, urging us to consider the profound impact of our character and actions on those closest to us. For children and young adults, it serves as a sobering reminder that foolish choices and rebellion cause deep pain and distress to parents, emphasizing the call to honor and obedience. For spouses, it highlights the critical importance of cultivating peace, resolving conflict constructively, and practicing patience and forgiveness rather than allowing contention to become a destructive, constant drip. This proverb challenges all members of a household to introspect about their contribution to the family atmosphere. Is our presence a source of peace and joy, or do our words and actions contribute to a "calamity" or a "continual dropping"? Building a home that is a sanctuary requires intentional wisdom, self-control, and a commitment to loving relationships, reflecting God's design for flourishing families.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **In what ways might my own "foolishness" (lack of wisdom, self-control, or obedience) be causing unintended "calamity" for those I love?**
* **Am I contributing to a "continual dropping" of contention in my relationships, or am I actively pursuing peace and reconciliation?**
* **What specific steps can I take to cultivate wisdom and foster a more harmonious and peaceful environment within my family or household?**
* **How does this proverb encourage me to seek God's wisdom for my personal character and relational dynamics?**

### FAQ
**Does this proverb suggest that only sons can be foolish or only wives can be contentious?**

Answer: While the proverb specifically mentions a "foolish son" and "contentions of a wife," the principles are broadly applicable. The wisdom literature often uses specific examples to illustrate universal truths. Other proverbs speak of foolish daughters or the destructive nature of contention from any family member. For instance, [Proverbs 17:25](/proverbs/17-25 "Proverbs 17:25 - A Foolish Son is a Grief to His Mother") explicitly states that a foolish son is a grief to his mother as well. The point is that foolishness and contention, regardless of who exhibits them, are profoundly disruptive to family harmony. The "continual dropping" metaphor is a powerful image for any persistent, irritating, and destructive behavior in a relationship.

**What does "calamity" truly mean in this context for a father?**

Answer: "Calamity" (Hebrew: _havvâh_) signifies a profound misfortune, ruin, or deep sorrow. For a father in ancient Israel, a foolish son could bring not only emotional grief and heartache but also social shame, economic ruin (if the son squandered inheritance or refused to work), and the destruction of the family's reputation and legacy. It implies a devastating blow to the father's well-being and sense of purpose, far beyond a mere annoyance. It speaks to the deep emotional and practical consequences of a child's destructive choices.

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
Proverbs 19:13, while highlighting human folly and familial brokenness, ultimately points us to Christ as the source of true wisdom and the restorer of broken relationships. The "foolish son" who brings calamity stands in stark contrast to Jesus, the [perfect Son](/john/10-36 "John 10:36 - Jesus, the Son of God") who perfectly honored His Father, even to the point of death on the cross, bringing not calamity but salvation. His obedience reversed the curse of human rebellion. Furthermore, the "continual dropping" of contention that erodes peace finds its antidote in Christ, who is our [peace](/ephesians/2-14 "Ephesians 2:14 - Christ Is Our Peace"). He came to reconcile humanity to God and to each other, breaking down walls of hostility and offering a new way of relating, marked by love, forgiveness, and mutual submission. Through the indwelling Holy Spirit, believers are empowered to put off strife and foolishness and to cultivate the [fruit of the Spirit](/galatians/5-22 "Galatians 5:22-23 - The Fruit of the Spirit"), which includes love, joy, peace, patience, and self-control. Thus, in Christ, we find not only the wisdom to avoid the pitfalls described in Proverbs 19:13 but also the power to build homes and relationships centered on His reconciling grace, moving from calamity and contention to a profound and lasting peace.

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.

Cross-References

Proverbs 21:9

¶ [It is] better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.

Proverbs 27:15

¶ A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.

Proverbs 10:1

¶ The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son [is] the heaviness of his mother.

Proverbs 17:21

¶ He that begetteth a fool [doeth it] to his sorrow: and the father of a fool hath no joy.

Proverbs 21:19

¶ [It is] better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.

Job 14:19

The waters wear the stones: thou washest away the things which grow [out] of the dust of the earth; and thou destroyest the hope of man.

Proverbs 17:25

¶ A foolish son [is] a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him.