Proverbs 17:25

KJV

¶ A foolish son [is] a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him.

KJV (with Strong's)

A foolish {H3684} son {H1121} is a grief {H3708} to his father {H1}, and bitterness {H4470} to her that bare {H3205} him.

Complete Jewish Bible

A son who is a fool means anger for his father and bitterness for the mother who gave him birth.

Berean Standard Bible

A foolish son brings grief to his father and bitterness to her who bore him.

American Standard Version

A foolish son is a grief to his father, And bitterness to her that bare him.

Commentary

### SUMMARY
Proverbs 17:25 profoundly illustrates the deep emotional anguish and enduring sorrow that a child's foolish choices inflict upon their parents. This proverb serves as a stark reminder of the interconnectedness within the family unit, highlighting how an individual's moral and behavioral trajectory directly impacts the emotional well-being of those who brought them into the world and nurtured them. It underscores the severe consequences of rejecting wisdom and embracing folly, portraying the parental heart as uniquely vulnerable to the pain caused by a wayward offspring.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** Proverbs 17 is part of the "Proverbs of Solomon" (chapters 10-22), a collection characterized by short, pithy sayings, often presented as couplets that contrast wisdom with folly, righteousness with wickedness, and their respective outcomes. While many proverbs in this section stand alone, they consistently contribute to the overarching theme of discerning the path of life. Proverbs 17:25 functions as a lament or a sober observation, articulating a painful truth about family dynamics. It immediately follows proverbs discussing the integrity of judges and the value of a bribe (Proverbs 17:23-24), and precedes a proverb about the discerning person's focus (Proverbs 17:26). This particular verse serves as a poignant interjection, shifting the focus from societal dealings to the intimate sphere of the family, emphasizing that even within this foundational unit, folly brings profound distress. The verse's structure, mentioning both father and mother, reinforces the shared, yet distinct, burden of parental disappointment.
* **Historical & Cultural Context:** Ancient Israelite society was largely patriarchal, with a strong emphasis on family lineage, honor, and the continuity of the household. Children, especially sons, were seen as a vital extension of the parents and the primary means of carrying on the family name and legacy. A wise and righteous child brought honor and joy to the parents, reflecting well on their upbringing and the family's standing in the community. Conversely, a foolish or rebellious child brought shame, disgrace, and profound sorrow, undermining the parents' efforts and hopes. The mother's unique pain, explicitly mentioned, reflects the deep emotional investment and physical sacrifice involved in bearing and raising a child, making her particularly susceptible to the "bitterness" of a wayward son. This cultural backdrop amplifies the severity of the "grief" and "bitterness" described, as the child's actions were not merely personal but had significant social and emotional repercussions for the entire family unit.
* **Key Themes:** Proverbs 17:25 contributes significantly to several key themes prevalent throughout the Book of Proverbs. Firstly, it powerfully illustrates the central theme of **Wisdom vs. Folly**, demonstrating that folly is not a harmless intellectual deficiency but a morally destructive path with devastating relational consequences. The "foolish son" embodies the rejection of divine instruction and practical discernment, leading to behavior that causes profound distress. This contrasts sharply with the joy a wise child brings, as seen in [Proverbs 10:1](/proverbs/10-1 "Proverbs 10:1 - A Wise Son Makes a Glad Father"). Secondly, the verse highlights the theme of **Parental Sorrow and Disappointment**, acknowledging the deep emotional vulnerability of parents whose hopes and investments in their children are shattered by their foolish choices. The terms "grief" and "bitterness" convey an intense, enduring pain that goes beyond mere annoyance. Thirdly, it underscores the **Intergenerational Impact of Choices**, emphasizing that individual actions ripple outward, affecting not only the person but also those closest to them, particularly within the immediate family. This interconnectedness is a foundational principle in biblical anthropology, where no one lives in isolation, and our moral choices have far-reaching consequences, as also implied in passages discussing the blessings or curses passed down through generations (e.g., [Exodus 20:5-6](/exodus/20-5 "Exodus 20:5-6 - Consequences of Idolatry")).

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS
#### Key Word Analysis
* **Foolish (Hebrew, _kᵉçîyl'_):** From H3684, meaning "fat," and figuratively, "stupid or silly." In Proverbs, a `kᵉçîyl` is not merely unintelligent but morally dull, obstinate, and resistant to instruction. This individual actively chooses a path contrary to wisdom, often characterized by arrogance, impulsiveness, and a disregard for consequences, leading to self-destructive behavior and bringing shame upon others.
* **Grief (Hebrew, _kaʻaç'_):** From H3708, meaning "vexation," "anger," "grief," "indignation," or "provocation." This word denotes a deep emotional distress that can manifest as sorrow, frustration, or even righteous anger. For the father, the foolish son's actions cause a profound internal turmoil and a sense of being provoked or deeply troubled.
* **Bitterness (Hebrew, _memer'_):** From H4470, meaning "sorrow." This term signifies a sharp, poignant, and enduring sorrow, akin to the taste of gall. It speaks to a deep, agonizing pain that settles in the heart, often associated with disappointment, regret, or a sense of loss. For the mother, who bore the child, this describes a particularly acute and lingering heartache.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"A foolish son":** This phrase identifies the subject as a specific character type in Proverbs – one who is morally deficient, resistant to wisdom, and prone to making destructive choices. The emphasis is on the son's character and actions, which are the root cause of the parental distress.
* **"is a grief to his father":** This clause directly links the son's folly to the father's emotional suffering. The "grief" (kaʻaç) encompasses a range of negative emotions, including vexation, anger, and deep sorrow, reflecting the father's disappointment and the burden of a child who brings dishonor rather than honor.
* **"and bitterness to her that bare him":** This parallel clause extends the consequence to the mother, using an even more intense term, "bitterness" (memer). This highlights the mother's unique and profound pain, perhaps emphasizing her intimate connection to the child from birth and the shattering of her hopes and dreams for him. The phrase "her that bare him" underscores the physical and emotional investment she made, making the son's folly a particularly cruel betrayal of that bond.

#### Literary Devices
Proverbs 17:25 employs several literary devices to convey its powerful message. The most prominent is **Parallelism**, specifically a form of synonymous or reinforcing parallelism, where the second clause ("bitterness to her that bare him") echoes and intensifies the first ("grief to his father"). While different words are used for the parents and their suffering, the underlying emotion is consistent, emphasizing the shared and profound distress. The use of **Metaphor** is evident in "bitterness," which evokes a physical taste to describe an intense emotional state, conveying a sharp, unpleasant, and enduring pain. The proverb also utilizes **Characterization** by defining the "foolish son" as a distinct type, whose inherent nature or chosen path leads inevitably to specific, negative outcomes. Finally, there's an element of **Understatement** in the simple declaration; the words "grief" and "bitterness" are profound, yet the terse nature of the proverb allows the reader to fully grasp the depth of the tragedy implied.

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
This proverb speaks to the profound theological truth that human choices have significant consequences, not only for the individual but also for their immediate community, particularly the family. It underscores the biblical emphasis on wisdom as a divine gift and a moral imperative, contrasting it with folly, which is presented as a rejection of God's order and a source of relational brokenness. The pain of the parents reflects the brokenness introduced by sin into human relationships, where the ideal of a harmonious family is often disrupted by individual rebellion. Theologically, it reminds us of the sanctity of the family unit as ordained by God and the weight of parental responsibility in raising children in the way of the Lord, while also acknowledging the children's ultimate moral agency. It implicitly points to the need for divine intervention to transform foolish hearts into wise ones, a transformation that only God's grace can accomplish.

* [Proverbs 10:1](/proverbs/10-1 "Proverbs 10:1 - A Wise Son Makes a Glad Father")
* [Proverbs 29:15](/proverbs/29-15 "Proverbs 29:15 - The Rod and Reproof Give Wisdom")
* [Psalm 78:8](/psalms/78-8 "Psalm 78:8 - A Stubborn and Rebellious Generation")

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Proverbs 17:25 offers a sobering mirror for both children and parents, prompting profound reflection on the nature of our choices and their far-reaching impact. For those who are children (regardless of age), it serves as a powerful call to embrace wisdom, understanding that our moral and spiritual trajectory directly influences the emotional well-being of our parents. Our pursuit of righteousness and discernment can bring immeasurable joy and honor to those who have invested so much in us, while a path of folly can inflict deep, enduring pain. For parents, this verse acknowledges and validates the unique and often profound emotional investment made in their children. It speaks to the heartache that can accompany a child's waywardness, reminding them that such grief is a natural consequence of deep love. While parents are called to diligently instruct and guide their children in the ways of the Lord, this proverb also implicitly recognizes the limits of parental control and the ultimate sovereignty of a child's choices. It encourages parents to persist in prayer, teaching, and example, entrusting their children to God's grace, even when faced with the pain of their folly.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **In what ways might my choices, whether wise or foolish, be bringing joy or sorrow to those who love me most?**
* **How does the concept of "folly" in Proverbs differ from mere unintelligence, and what does this mean for my own pursuit of wisdom?**
* **If I am a parent, how can I balance diligent instruction with entrusting my children's choices to God, particularly when facing disappointment?**
* **How does this proverb encourage empathy for parents who are experiencing the pain of a child's waywardness?**

### FAQ
**What does "foolish" mean in the context of Proverbs 17:25?**

Answer: In Proverbs, "foolish" (Hebrew: `kᵉçîyl`) does not simply mean lacking intelligence. Instead, it describes someone who is morally and spiritually dull, resistant to instruction, and actively chooses a path contrary to God's wisdom. This individual often acts impulsively, without foresight, and disregards the consequences of their actions, leading to self-destructive behavior and causing distress to others, especially their family. It's a character type defined by a rejection of divine truth and practical discernment.

**Why does the proverb mention both the father's "grief" and the mother's "bitterness" separately?**

Answer: The separate mention of the father's "grief" (`kaʻaç`) and the mother's "bitterness" (`memer`) emphasizes the distinct yet shared burden of parental pain. While both parents suffer, the terms used suggest slightly different nuances of their anguish. The father's grief might encompass vexation, anger, and the shame brought upon the family name, reflecting his role as the head of the household. The mother's bitterness, often described as a sharp, poignant sorrow, might highlight her unique and intimate bond with the child from birth, making the child's folly a particularly deep and personal wound. This dual expression underscores the profound and comprehensive emotional toll on both parents.

**Does this proverb imply that parents are to blame for a foolish child?**

Answer: No, this proverb primarily describes the *consequence* of a child's foolishness, not necessarily the *cause*. While parents have a vital role in instruction and guidance (as seen throughout Proverbs, e.g., [Proverbs 22:6](/proverbs/22-6 "Proverbs 22:6 - Train Up a Child")), children ultimately possess moral agency and make their own choices. The proverb laments the reality of a child choosing folly despite parental efforts, acknowledging the profound sorrow this brings. It does not assign blame to the parents but rather highlights their vulnerability and the deep emotional investment they have in their children's well-being and character.

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
Proverbs 17:25, with its poignant depiction of the grief and bitterness caused by a foolish son, finds its ultimate resolution and hope in the person and work of Jesus Christ. Humanity, in its fallen state, is the "foolish son" of God, constantly rejecting divine wisdom and choosing paths of rebellion that bring sorrow to the heart of the Father. Our sin, our folly, is the source of profound grief in the divine economy. However, Jesus Christ is the **perfect Son**, the embodiment of divine wisdom (1 Corinthians 1:24). He perfectly honored His Father, always doing what pleased Him (John 8:29), thus bringing immeasurable joy to the Father's heart, in stark contrast to the foolish son of the proverb. More profoundly, Christ, the wise Son, bore the grief and bitterness that our foolishness deserved. He became the "Man of Sorrows, acquainted with grief" (Isaiah 53:3), taking upon Himself the consequences of humanity's rebellion. Through His atoning sacrifice on the cross, He absorbed the bitterness of sin, offering reconciliation and transformation for all who are foolish and wayward. He offers to exchange our foolish hearts for hearts of wisdom, guiding us by His Spirit into paths of righteousness that bring honor to God and healing to broken relationships. In Christ, the cycle of grief and bitterness caused by folly is broken, and the possibility of true sonship and daughtership, bringing joy to the Father, is made real (John 1:12; Romans 8:15). He is the ultimate answer to the problem of human folly, transforming those who were once foolish into wise children of God, bringing true joy and peace to the divine family.

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.

Cross-References

Proverbs 10:1

¶ The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son [is] the heaviness of his mother.

Proverbs 19:13

¶ A foolish son [is] the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife [are] a continual dropping.

Proverbs 15:20

¶ A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish man despiseth his mother.

Ecclesiastes 2:18

Yea, I hated all my labour which I had taken under the sun: because I should leave it unto the man that shall be after me.

Ecclesiastes 2:19

And who knoweth whether he shall be a wise [man] or a fool? yet shall he have rule over all my labour wherein I have laboured, and wherein I have shewed myself wise under the sun. This [is] also vanity.

2 Samuel 13:1

¶ And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name [was] Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.

2 Samuel 13:22

And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad: for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.