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2 Samuel 13:22

“David's Wrath and Absalom's Silent Hatred”2 Samuel 13:21–22

King James Version
And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad: for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.

Bible text: King James Version (1769 Blayney text) · Public domain

KJV (with Strong's)
And Absalom H53 spake H1696 unto his brother Amnon H550 neither good H2896 nor bad H7451: for Absalom H53 hated H8130 Amnon H550, because H1697 he had forced H6031 his sister H269 Tamar H8559.

Bible text: King James Version with Strong's numbers · Public domain

Berean Standard Bible
And Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad, because he hated Amnon for disgracing his sister Tamar.

Bible text: Berean Standard Bible · Public domain

American Standard Version
And Absalom spake unto Amnon neither good nor bad; for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.

Bible text: American Standard Version (1901) · Public domain

World English Bible Messianic
Absalom spoke to Amnon neither good nor bad; for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.

Bible text: World English Bible, Messianic edition · Public domain

Geneva Bible (1599)
And Absalom sayde vnto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad: for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.

Bible text: Geneva Bible (1599) · Public domain

Young's Literal Translation
and Absalom hath not spoken with Amnon either evil or good, for Absalom is hating Amnon, because that he humbled Tamar his sister.

Bible text: Young's Literal Translation · Public domain

King James Version — Interlinear
20 Hebrew words
  1. וְלֹאve·lo'and notH3808Conj-w ¦ NegParticle Negativeוְandלֹאnot
  2. דִבֶּרdi·Berhe spokeH1696V-Piel-Perf-3msVerb Piel Perfect 3rd Singular Masculine
  3. אַבְשָׁלוֹם'av·sha·LomAbsalomH53N-proper-mNoun Proper Masculine
  4. עִם'imwithH5973PrepPreposition
  5. אַמְנוֹן'am·NonAmnonH550N-proper-mNoun Proper Masculine
  6. לְמֵרָעle·me·Ra'[to] from badH7451Prep-l ¦ Prep-m ¦ Adj-msAdjective Singular Masculine Absoluteלְ[to]מֵfromרָעbad
  7. וְעַדve·'adand untoH5704Conj-w ¦ PrepPrepositionוְandעַדunto
  8. טוֹבTovgoodH2896Adj-msAdjective Singular Masculine Absolute
  9. כִּיkiforH3588PrtParticle Conditional
  10. שָׂנֵאsa·Ne'he hatedH8130V-Qal-Perf-3msVerb Qal Perfect 3rd Singular Masculine
  11. אַבְשָׁלוֹם'av·sha·lOmAbsalomH53N-proper-mNoun Proper Masculine
  12. אֶת'et[obj.]H853DirObjMParticle Object Indicator
  13. אַמְנוֹן'am·NonAmnonH550N-proper-mNoun Proper Masculine
  14. עַל'alonH5921PrepPreposition
  15. דְּבַרde·Var[the] thingH1697N-mscNoun Singular Masculine Construct
  16. אֲשֶׁר'a·Sher[of] thatH834RelParticle Relative
  17. עִנָּה'i·Nahhe had humbledH6031V-Piel-Perf-3msVerb Piel Perfect 3rd Singular Masculine
  18. אֵת'et[obj.]H853DirObjMParticle Object Indicator
  19. תָּמָרta·MarTamarH8559N-proper-fNoun Proper Feminine
  20. אֲחֹתוֹ'a·cho·Tohis sisterH269N-fsc ¦ 3msNoun Singular Feminine Construct with suffixאֲחֹתsisterוֹhis
English is a literal word-by-word gloss of the Hebrew, not the KJV's wording. Why?

This is the original text the KJV's translators worked from — each Hebrew word with its own literal English meaning in this verse, prepared by scholars at Tyndale House, Cambridge. The KJV translates whole sentences, not word by word, so its wording differs: one Hebrew word can become several English words, and the KJV may choose “the LORD” where the gloss reads “Yahweh”. Both are faithful — they answer different questions. For the KJV's own rendering, switch to the KJV text.

Words in [ ] are added by the English.

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This verse

Absalom breaks off all speech with Amnon, good or bad, because he hates him for forcing his sister Tamar, and his silence hides a hatred that waits two years for revenge.

“And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon”

Amnon was Absalom’s half-brother, and Scripture still calls him “his brother”, which makes the breach between them the sharper.

“neither good nor bad:”

An idiom for speech of any kind. Absalom cut Amnon off completely and kept his intent to himself.

“for Absalom hated Amnon,”

Both names come back in this clause, keeping the two brothers face to face. His hatred was settled, and it waited two years.

“because he had forced his sister Tamar.”

The cause is stated plainly, and the wrong was real. Tamar is “his sister”, the one Absalom had taken into his house.

Passage study2 Samuel 13:21–22

David’s Wrath and Absalom’s Silent Hatred

21But when king David heard of all these things, he was very wroth. 22And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad: for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.

Summary

These two verses come straight after the darkest scene in David’s family. Amnon, the king’s firstborn son, has forced his half-sister Tamar, and Tamar has gone to live in grief in the house of her full brother Absalom. Verse 21 tells us that David heard all of it and was very angry. Verse 22 tells us that Absalom kept silent toward Amnon, speaking “neither good nor bad”, because he hated him for what he had done to Tamar. A father’s anger that stops at anger and a brother’s hatred that hides itself set the course for all that follows: Amnon’s murder two years later, and in time Absalom’s revolt against his father. Here we see how sin left unjudged spreads through a household, and we see our need of a King who does justice perfectly.

What David heard

The “things” David heard are told in 2 Samuel 13:1–19. Amnon schemed to get Tamar alone, forced her in spite of her pleas for mercy, and then put her to open shame, and she tore her royal robe and put ashes on her head. Absalom took her into his house, and there she “remained desolate” (2 Samuel 13:20). In Israel a young woman’s honour and her hope of marriage were bound up with her virginity, so Amnon’s crime left Tamar shamed and unlikely ever to marry. It was also a wrong against her whole family, and against the king himself.

The word for “heard”, shâmaʻ, is the everyday verb for hearing, often with the sense of hearing with attention, and here it means that the report reached David and he took it in. “All these things” renders dâbâr, which means a word or speech and also a matter or affair. David heard the whole affair, from Amnon’s plot to Tamar’s grief.

David’s anger and the justice he left undone

“He was very wroth.” The verb chârâh means to glow or grow warm, and it is used of anger blazing up. Scripture uses this one verb for God’s anger and for man’s. The word mᵉʼôd means very, greatly or exceedingly, and it tells us how hot David’s anger ran. That anger was right. His son had violated his daughter, and a father and king ought to burn at such a thing.

Yet the verse ends with the anger. Scripture records David’s fury and moves straight on to Absalom’s hatred and then, two years later, to Amnon’s murder at Absalom’s sheep-shearing feast (2 Samuel 13:28–29). In Israel the king was the highest judge in the land, charged with upholding the law and protecting the weak. The law of Moses treated the forcing of a woman as a grave crime, and it set death as the penalty for the man who forced a betrothed damsel in the field (Deuteronomy 22:25–27). Amnon was the king’s son, and he was also a man under that law. Tamar was the king’s daughter, and she had every right to her father’s protection.

Righteous anger has to be joined to righteous action, above all in those God has set in authority, because a wrong that is felt and then left alone stays in the house and grows. Proverbs ties discipline to love: “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes” (Proverbs 13:24). David spared Amnon, and the whole family paid for it. His inaction left a gap that Absalom filled for himself, first by killing Amnon and later by taking the king’s work of judging into his own hands and using it to raise a revolt against his father (2 Samuel 15:1–12).

Why did David leave Amnon unpunished?

Scripture leaves David’s reasons unspoken, and the account around these verses points to several. Amnon was his firstborn and the heir to the throne, so putting him to death or setting him aside would have shaken the kingdom and its succession. David’s own sins also weighed on him. He had taken Bathsheba and had Uriah killed (2 Samuel 11), and a father who has done that may feel he has lost the right to judge his son. Nathan had already told him that “the sword shall never depart from thine house”, and that his wives would be shamed in public (2 Samuel 12:10–12), so David may have felt that God’s judgment was already at work in his family and out of his hands.

David was slow to correct his sons more than once. Years later Scripture says of Adonijah that “his father had not displeased him at any time in saying, Why hast thou done so?” (1 Kings 1:6). Guilt, politics and a father’s softness together held David back. He was the man after God’s own heart, and still he failed his daughter here.

How one sin spread through David’s house

“Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap” (Galatians 6:7). In this chapter the sword Nathan spoke of begins to move through David’s house. Amnon’s lust led to violence, the violence went unpunished, the wrong grew into Absalom’s hatred, the hatred into murder, and the murder in time into rebellion against the throne. God had chosen David, and still the sins of his house brought suffering, division and bloodshed into his closest circle, and from there into the whole nation. Sin that is left unrepented and unjudged spreads, and it harms many people besides the one who first committed it.

Absalom’s silence

Absalom “spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad.” The words for good, ṭôwb, and bad, raʻ, are set together as an idiom for speech of every kind, so Absalom broke off all speech with Amnon, whether kind or angry.

His silence came from a settled purpose. An open quarrel might have brought the king in to settle the matter, but silence let Absalom’s anger harden into hatred and gave his plan two years to ripen, until he had Amnon killed. The quiet was itself a message, and it marked a break between the brothers that ended only in blood.

The reason is given plainly: “for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.” The verb sânêʾ is the common word for hating, and here it is a settled enmity, as the two years of waiting show. “Forced” is ʻânâh, a verb whose senses include to humble and to afflict, and here it names the violence Amnon did to Tamar. Scripture calls Amnon’s act what it was, and Absalom’s grievance was real. In this one verse Amnon is “his brother” and Tamar is “his sister”, and the tie that should have kept her safe is the very one that was broken.

When just anger becomes hatred

Absalom’s anger began in love for his sister and in a true sense of the wrong done to her. Nursed in silence, it became hatred, and the hatred became murder. Proverbs speaks of hatred kept hidden: “He that hideth hatred with lying lips, and he that uttereth a slander, is a fool” (Proverbs 10:18). Paul writes, “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil” (Ephesians 4:26–27). Absalom let the sun go down on his wrath for two years.

When the proper judge fails, the one who is wronged still has a Judge. “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord” (Romans 12:19). Absalom took into his own hands the judgment that belongs to God, and his revenge led on to more sin and more grief. Resentment kept hidden is dangerous, and in the end it harmed Absalom himself as well as everyone around him.

Jesus, the Son of David who does justice

David burned with anger at sin and left the sinner unjudged. Absalom judged the sinner by his own hand and added sin to sin. Jesus, the true King and the Son of David, deals with sin in holy anger and perfect love together. He is “the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world” (John 1:29), and he takes it away by bearing it himself. God set him forth as the sacrifice for sin, “that he might be just, and the justifier of him which believeth in Jesus” (Romans 3:23–26), so at the cross justice and mercy are both done in full. There he triumphed over sin and death and blotted out the handwriting that was against us (Colossians 2:13–15).

Absalom’s revenge kept the cycle of violence turning. Christ’s death breaks it, because he is our peace and makes enemies one (Ephesians 2:13–16). He was “in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin” (Hebrews 4:15), and he is touched with the feeling of our weakness, the grief of families like David’s included. He calls his people to love their enemies and pray for those who persecute them (Matthew 5:43–48), and to “overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21). He will come again as the rider on the white horse, and “in righteousness he doth judge and make war” (Revelation 19:11). Then every wrong like the one done to Tamar will be judged, and sin and suffering will come to an end. The justice David left undone, his greater Son will do perfectly.

Last revised

Public-domain commentary

Matthew Henry

From his Commentary on the Whole Bible. Henry wrote on whole passages, and this entry covers 2 Samuel 13:21–29. He set out his notes in a three-level outline, kept here as he numbered it.

1662–1714 · 9 verses
Passage under comment2 Samuel 13:21–29
I. II. Main points1. 2. Sub-points(1.) (2.) Details

What Solomon says of the beginning of strife is as true of the beginning of all sin, it is as the letting forth of water; when once the flood-gates are plucked up, an inundation follows; one mischief begets another, and it is hard to say what shall be in the end thereof.

I.We are here told how David resented the tidings of Amnon's sin:

He was very wroth, 2 Samuel 13:21. So he had reason to be, that his own son should do such a wicked thing and draw him to be accessory to it. It would be a reproach to him for not giving him a better education; it would be a blot upon his family, the ruin of his daughter, a bad example to his kingdom, and a wrong to his son's soul. But was it enough for him to be angry? He ought to have punished his son for it, and have put him to open shame; both as a father and as a king he had power to do it. But the Septuagint here adds these words: But he saddened not the spirit of his son Amnon, because he loved him, because he was his first-born. He fell into Eli's error, whose sons made themselves vile, and he frowned not on them. If Amnon was dear to him, his punishing him would have been so much the greater punishment to himself for his own uncleanness. But he cannot bear the shame those must submit to who correct that in others which they are conscious of in themselves, and therefore his anger must serve instead of his justice; and this hardens sinners, Ecclesiastes 8:11.

II.How Absalom resented it.

He resolves already to do the part of a judge in Israel; and, since his father will not punish Amnon, he will, from a principle, not of justice or zeal for virtue, but of revenge, because he reckons himself affronted in the abuse done to his sister. Their mother was daughter to a heathen prince (2 Samuel 3:3), which perhaps they were upbraided with sometimes by their brethren, as children of a stranger. As such a one Absalom thought his sister was now treated; and, if Amnon thought her fit to be made his harlot, he would think him fit to be made his slave. This enraged him, and nothing less than the blood of Amnon will quench his rage. Here we have,

1.The design conceived: Absalom hated Amnon (2 Samuel 13:22), and he that hateth his brother is a murderer already, and, like Cain, is of that wicked one, 1 John 3:12, 1 John 3:15. Absalom's hatred of his brother's crime would have been commendable, and he might justly have prosecuted him for it by a due course of law, for example to others, and the making of some compensation to his injured sister; but to hate his person, and design his death by assassination, was to put a great affront upon God, by offering to repair the breach of his seventh commandment by the violation of his sixth, as if they were not all alike sacred. But he that said, Do not commit adultery, said also, Do not kill, James 2:11.

2.The design concealed. He said nothing to Amnon of this matter, either good or bad, appeared as if he did not know it, and maintained towards him his usual civility, only waiting for a fair opportunity to do him a mischief. That malice is the worst,

(1.)Which is hidden closely, and has no vent given to it. If Absalom had reasoned the matter with Amnon, he might have convinced him of his sin and brought him to repentance; but, saying nothing, Amnon's heart was hardened, and his own more and more embittered against him; therefore rebuking our neighbour is opposed to hating him in our hearts, Leviticus 19:17. Let passion have vent and it will spend itself.

(2.)Which is gilded over with a show of friendship; so Absalom's was, his words smoother than butter but war in his heart. See Proverbs 26:26.

(3.)Which is harboured long. Two full years Absalom nursed this root of bitterness, 2 Samuel 13:24. It may be, at first, he did not intend to kill his brother (for, if he had, he might have had as fair an opportunity to do it as he had at last), and only waited for an occasion to disgrace him or do him some other mischief; but in time his hatred ripened to this, that he would be no less than the death of him. If the sun going down once upon the wrath gives such place to the devil (as is intimated, Ephesians 4:26, Ephesians 4:27), what would the sunsets of two full years do?

3.The design laid.

(1.)Absalom has a feast at his house in the country, as Nabal had, on occasion of his sheep-shearing, 2 Samuel 13:23. Attentive as Absalom was to his person (2 Samuel 14:26), and as high as he looked, he knew the state of his flocks and looked well to his herds. Those who have no other care about their estates in the country than how to spend them in the town take a ready way to see the end of them. When Absalom had sheep-shearers he would himself be with them.

(2.)To this feast he invites the king his father, and all the princes of the blood (2 Samuel 13:24), not only that he might have this opportunity to pay his respects to them, but that he might make himself the more respected among his neighbours. Those that are akin to great folks are apt to value themselves too much on their kindred.

(3.)The king would not go himself, because he would not put him to the expense of his entertainment, 2 Samuel 13:25. It seems Absalom had an estate in his own hands, on which he lived like himself; the king had given it to him, but would have him to be a good husband of it: in both these he is an example to parents, when their children have grown up, to give them a competency to live upon, according to their rank, and then to take care that they do not live above it, especially that they be no way accessory to their doing so. It is prudent for young house-keepers to begin as they can hold out, and not to spend the wool upon the shearing of it.

(4.)Absalom got leave for Amnon, and all the rest of the king's sons, to come and grace his table in the country, 2 Samuel 13:26, 2 Samuel 13:27. Absalom had so effectually concealed his enmity to Amnon that David saw no reason to suspect any design upon him in that particular invitation: "Let my brother Amnon go;" but this would make the stroke more cutting to David that he was himself drawn in to consent to that which gave the opportunity for it, as before, 2 Samuel 13:7. It seems, David's sons, though grown up, continued to pay such a deference to their father as not to go such a small journey as this without leave. Thus ought children, even when they have become men and women, to honour their parents, consult them, and do nothing material without their consent, much less against their mind.

4.The design executed, 2 Samuel 13:28, 2 Samuel 13:29.

(1.)Absalom's entertainment was very plentiful; for he resolves that they shall all be merry with wine, at least concludes that Amnon will be so, for he knew that he was apt to drink to excess. But,

(2.)The orders he gave to his servants concerning Amnon, that they should mingle his blood with his wine, were very barbarous. Had he challenged him, and, in reliance upon the goodness of his cause and the justice of God, fought him himself, though that would have been bad enough, yet it would have been more honourable and excusable (our ancient law, in some cases, allowed trial by battle); but to murder him, as he did, was to copy Cain's example, only that the reason made a difference: Abel was slain for his righteousness, Amnon for his wickedness. Observe the aggravations of this sin: - [1.] He would have Amnon slain when his heart was merry with wine, and he was consequently least apprehensive of danger, least able to resist it, and also least fit to go out of the world; as if his malice aimed to destroy both soul and body, not giving him time to say, Lord, have mercy upon me. What a dreadful surprise hath death been to many, whose hearts have been overcharged with surfeiting and drunkenness! [2.] His servants must be employed to do it, and so involved in the guilt. He was to give the word of command - Smite Amnon; and then they, in obedience to him, and, upon presumption that his authority would bear them out, must kill him. What an impious defiance does he bid to the divine law, when, though the command of God is express, Thou shalt not kill, he bids them kill Amnon, with this warrant, "Have not I commanded you? That is enough. Be courageous, and fear neither God nor man." Those servants are ill taught who obey their masters in contradiction to God, and those are wicked masters who have taught them to do so. Those are too obsequious that will damn their souls to please their masters, whose big words cannot secure them from God's wrath. Masters must always command their servants as those that know they also have a Master in heaven. [3.] He did it in the presence of all the king's sons, of whom it is said (2 Samuel 8:18) that they were chief rulers; so that it was an affront to public justice which they had the administration of, and to the king his father whom they represented, and a contempt of that sword which should have been a terror to his evil deeds, while his evil deeds, on the contrary, were a terror to those that bore it. [4.] There is reason to suspect that Absalom did this, not only to revenge his sister's quarrel, but to make way for himself to the throne, which he was ambitious of, and which he would stand fair for if Amnon the eldest son was taken off. When the word of command was given Absalom's servants failed not to execute it, being buoyed up with an opinion that their master, being now next heir to the crown (for Chileab was dead, as bishop Patrick thinks), would save them from harm. Now the threatened sword is drawn in David's house which should not depart from it. First, His eldest son falls by it, himself being, by his wickedness, the cause of it, and his father, by his connivance, accessory to it. Secondly, All his sons flee from it, and come home in terror, not knowing how far their brother Absalom's bloody design might extend. See what mischief sin makes in families.

Source: Quotations drawn from early Church Fathers and historical Christian theologians (AD 100–1500). Some quotes address the surrounding passage context rather than this verse alone.

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