Proverbs 25:9

KJV

Debate thy cause with thy neighbour [himself]; and discover not a secret to another:

KJV (with Strong's)

Debate {H7378} thy cause {H7379} with thy neighbour {H7453} himself; and discover {H1540} not a secret {H5475} to another {H312}:

Complete Jewish Bible

Discuss your dispute with your neighbor, but don't reveal another person's secrets.

Berean Standard Bible

Argue your case with your neighbor without betraying another’s confidence,

American Standard Version

Debate thy cause with thy neighbor himself, And disclose not the secret of another;

Commentary

### SUMMARY
Proverbs 25:9 offers profound, dual wisdom for navigating interpersonal conflict and fostering community trust. It primarily advocates for the direct, private resolution of disputes with one's neighbor, urging individuals to engage in forthright dialogue with the involved party to seek reconciliation. Concurrently, it issues a stern warning against the destructive practice of revealing confidential information or private matters to others, thereby safeguarding reputations, promoting discretion, and cultivating the essential trust foundational to healthy relationships and a cohesive community.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** [Proverbs 25:9](/proverbs/25-9 "Proverbs 25:9 - Direct Conflict and Discretion") is situated within a distinct collection of "Proverbs of Solomon copied by the men of Hezekiah, king of Judah," as indicated by the superscription in [Proverbs 25:1](/proverbs/25-1 "Proverbs 25:1 - Hezekiah's Collection of Proverbs"). This particular section, encompassing [Proverbs 25](/proverbs/25 "Proverbs 25 - Further Proverbs of Solomon") through [Proverbs 29](/proverbs/29 "Proverbs 29 - More Sayings of the Wise"), often delves into themes pertinent to courtly wisdom, wise governance, and the intricate dynamics of social interaction. The verses immediately preceding [Proverbs 25:9](/proverbs/25-9 "Proverbs 25:9 - Wisdom for Relationships") offer counsel on humility, proper conduct in the presence of authority, and the perils of hasty or ill-considered speech. This proverb seamlessly integrates into this broader emphasis on judicious communication and the prudent management of personal and communal affairs, serving as a practical guide for preserving social harmony and personal integrity within the broader framework of wisdom literature.

* **Historical & Cultural Context:** In ancient Israel, as throughout much of the ancient Near East, an individual's reputation and standing within the community were of paramount importance. While formal disputes might be adjudicated at the city gate—a public forum—this proverb subtly encourages a more private, initial approach to conflict resolution. The term "neighbor" (Hebrew: _rêaʻ_) was expansive, encompassing anyone with whom one regularly interacted, from close friends and family to fellow community members and even strangers. The preservation of secrets and the avoidance of gossip (Hebrew: _gâlâh çôwd_) were vital for maintaining social cohesion, as a breach of confidence could inflict irreparable damage upon an individual's honor and the very fabric of the community. This wisdom reflects a society where personal interactions were deeply interwoven with communal well-being, and where the spoken word, whether for good or ill, carried immense weight and consequence.

* **Key Themes:** This proverb illuminates several crucial themes that resonate throughout the book of Proverbs and the wider biblical narrative. Firstly, it emphatically underscores the importance of **direct conflict resolution**, advocating for a face-to-face approach rather than indirect complaint, gossip, or public shaming. This principle finds a powerful echo in the New Testament, particularly in Jesus' teaching on reconciliation in [Matthew 18:15](/matthew/18-15 "Matthew 18:15 - Confronting a Brother Privately"). Secondly, the proverb highlights the indispensable virtues of **discretion and confidentiality**, issuing a stark warning against the destructive nature of revealing secrets. This aligns with numerous other biblical admonitions against talebearing and slander, such as those found in [Proverbs 11:13](/proverbs/11-13 "Proverbs 11:13 - The Talebearer's Folly") and [Leviticus 19:16](/leviticus/19-16 "Leviticus 19:16 - Do Not Go About as a Slanderer"). Finally, it promotes the cultivation of **trust and integrity** within relationships, recognizing that wise speech and the faithful keeping of confidences are foundational to building and maintaining healthy communal bonds, thereby reflecting the broader biblical call for righteous and honorable living, as articulated in passages like [Proverbs 4:23](/proverbs/4-23 "Proverbs 4:23 - Guard Your Heart Above All Else").

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS
#### Key Word Analysis
* **Debate thy cause (Hebrew, _rîyb'_ H7378 / _rîyb'_ H7379):** The verb `rîyb` (H7378) is a primitive root signifying "to wrangle" or "to hold a controversy," and by implication, "to defend." Its nominal form, `rîyb` (H7379), denotes "a contest (personal or legal)," "a cause," "chiding," "contention," or "strife." Combined as "debate thy cause," these terms convey the imperative to engage directly and purposefully in a dispute or legal matter, presenting one's argument or case to the opposing party. This implies a structured, intentional engagement aimed at achieving resolution, rather than mere argumentativeness or the spreading of rumors.
* **Neighbour (Hebrew, _rêaʻ'_ H7453):** Derived from `râʻâh` (to associate), `rêaʻ` refers to an "associate (more or less close)," encompassing a companion, fellow, friend, or generally "another." In this context, it specifically emphasizes the direct relationship with the person with whom one has a grievance or dispute. The KJV's interpretive addition of "[himself]" underscores the crucial point that the "debate" should be conducted *personally* with the neighbor, directly addressing the individual rather than involving intermediaries or publicizing the issue.
* **Discover not a secret (Hebrew, _gâlâh çôwd'_ H1540 / H5475):** `gâlâh` (H1540) is a primitive root meaning "to denude," "to reveal," or "to uncover." `çôwd` (H5475), stemming from `yâçad` (to found), refers to "a session, i.e., company of persons (in close deliberation)" or, by extension, "intimacy, consultation, a secret." Thus, "discover not a secret" is a strong prohibition against "uncovering" or "revealing" private, confidential, or intimate information. This applies both to secrets that have been entrusted to one's keeping and to private matters concerning one's own dispute or that of another, highlighting the paramount importance of discretion and guarding against the betrayal of confidence.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"Debate thy cause with thy neighbour himself":** This clause issues a clear and direct imperative to address disputes personally and privately with the individual involved. It champions the approach of confronting the issue head-on, engaging in a direct dialogue or "debate" to seek resolution. This stands in stark contrast to resorting to public accusation, rumor-mongering, or involving uninvolved third parties who can only exacerbate the conflict. The emphasis here is squarely on direct, responsible, and discreet communication as the primary means of conflict resolution, preserving the dignity of all parties.
* **"and discover not a secret to another":** This second clause functions as a potent prohibition against the careless or malicious revelation of confidential information. It warns against betraying trust by disclosing private matters, whether they relate to one's own dispute, a secret shared in confidence by a friend, or sensitive information about a third party. This part of the proverb profoundly underscores the importance of discretion, integrity, and the protection of privacy, recognizing that the indiscriminate or ill-intended revelation of secrets can cause significant and often irreparable harm to reputations, relationships, and the broader social fabric.

#### Literary Devices
Proverbs 25:9 masterfully employs **Antithetical Parallelism**, a quintessential feature of Hebrew wisdom literature. The two clauses are juxtaposed in stark contrast, presenting two distinct yet complementary commands: one positive (engage directly with your neighbor) and one negative (do not reveal secrets to others). This structural arrangement powerfully highlights the dual aspects of wise communication in conflict: the necessity of directness with the involved party and the equal importance of discretion with everyone else. The proverb also utilizes the **Imperative Mood** ("Debate," "discover not"), delivering clear, concise commands that underscore the urgency and non-negotiable nature of the wisdom being imparted. Furthermore, the phrase "thy cause" can be understood as a form of **Metonymy**, where the "cause" (the legal or personal dispute) serves as a stand-in for the entire situation or problem that requires resolution. The concise, memorable nature of the verse itself is characteristic of **Aphorism**, a key rhetorical device in wisdom literature designed for easy recall and practical application in daily life.

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
This proverb is profoundly rooted in the biblical emphasis on righteous speech, the pursuit of justice, and the cultivation of community harmony. It reflects the very character of God, who values truth, reconciliation, and the protection of the vulnerable. The call for direct conflict resolution aligns seamlessly with the divine principle of seeking peace and reconciliation, preventing the escalation of strife, the spread of destructive gossip, and the fracturing of relationships. The stringent warning against revealing secrets underscores the sacred trust inherent in human relationships, mirroring God's own faithfulness and discretion in His dealings with humanity, particularly in His patient unfolding of His redemptive plan. Ultimately, this wisdom promotes a way of living that cultivates trust, integrity, and a healthy social fabric, reflecting the divine order for human flourishing and the establishment of a righteous community.

* [Matthew 18:15](/matthew/18-15 "Matthew 18:15 - Confronting a Brother Privately")
* [Proverbs 11:13](/proverbs/11-13 "Proverbs 11:13 - The Talebearer's Folly")
* [Ephesians 4:29](/ephesians/4-29 "Ephesians 4:29 - Edifying Speech")

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Proverbs 25:9 offers timeless and profoundly practical guidance for navigating the inherent complexities of human relationships in any era. In an age increasingly dominated by instant communication, social media, and the rapid dissemination of information, the temptation to air grievances publicly or to share private information carelessly is ever-present and often amplified. This proverb calls us to a higher standard of maturity, integrity, and relational responsibility. It challenges us to resist the pervasive urge to gossip, complain about others behind their backs, or engage in public shaming. Instead, it encourages courageous, respectful, and direct engagement with those with whom we have a dispute, fostering genuine reconciliation. Furthermore, it serves as a powerful reminder of the profound responsibility that accompanies being entrusted with confidential information, urging us to be individuals of unwavering discretion and trustworthiness. Embracing this ancient wisdom means cultivating a reputation for reliability, fostering deeper trust in our personal and professional relationships, and actively contributing to a more harmonious, respectful, and God-honoring community.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **How do I typically respond when I have a disagreement or grievance with someone? Do I tend to confront them directly and privately, or do I discuss it with others first?**
* **Am I known as a trustworthy confidant, or do I sometimes struggle with keeping secrets or private information to myself, particularly in the age of digital communication?**
* **In what specific ways can I intentionally practice more direct, honest communication and greater discretion in my relationships this week, both online and offline?**

### FAQ
**What is the significance of the KJV's addition of "[himself]" in "Debate thy cause with thy neighbour himself"?**

Answer: While the Hebrew text of [Proverbs 25:9](/proverbs/25-9 "Proverbs 25:9 - Direct Conflict Resolution") does not contain an explicit word corresponding to "himself" in the first clause, the King James Version's inclusion of it (in brackets, indicating it's an interpretive addition) accurately captures the implied meaning and intent of the proverb. The Hebrew phrase "with thy neighbor" naturally suggests a direct, personal interaction. The addition of "[himself]" serves to emphasize that the "debate" or contention should be conducted *personally* with the individual involved in the dispute, rather than through intermediaries, public accusation, or by spreading the issue to others. It powerfully reinforces the core message of direct, private conflict resolution, preventing gossip and maintaining the integrity and potential for reconciliation within the relationship.

**Does this proverb mean I should never seek advice or counsel from others when facing a dispute?**

Answer: No, [Proverbs 25:9](/proverbs/25-9 "Proverbs 25:9 - Discretion in Disputes") does not prohibit seeking wise counsel. Instead, it prioritizes direct engagement with the person involved in the dispute as the *first* and *primary* step. The proverb's warning is against "discovering a secret to another," which primarily refers to revealing private or sensitive information, or gossiping about the dispute, rather than seeking genuine, confidential advice. The book of Proverbs itself frequently commends seeking counsel, recognizing its value for wise decision-making (e.g., [Proverbs 11:14](/proverbs/11-14 "Proverbs 11:14 - Wisdom in Counsel") and [Proverbs 15:22](/proverbs/15-22 "Proverbs 15:22 - Plans Fail for Lack of Counsel")). The key is discretion: when seeking advice, one should choose a trusted, wise counselor and share information responsibly, without engaging in slander or gossip, and always with the ultimate goal of resolving the issue directly and discreetly.

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
Proverbs 25:9 finds its ultimate and perfect fulfillment in the person and redemptive work of Jesus Christ, who flawlessly embodied both direct engagement and profound discretion. Our Lord consistently confronted sin, hypocrisy, and error directly, yet always with an unwavering blend of truth and grace, as powerfully demonstrated in His interactions with the Pharisees ([Matthew 23](/matthew/23 "Matthew 23 - Woes to the Scribes and Pharisees")) or His gentle but firm words to the woman caught in adultery ([John 8:1-11](/john/8-1 "John 8:1-11 - Jesus and the Adulterous Woman")). He explicitly taught His disciples the principle of direct reconciliation, emphasizing personal accountability and the pursuit of peace over public shaming or gossip ([Matthew 5:23-24](/matthew/5-23 "Matthew 5:23-24 - Reconciliation Before Offering") and [Matthew 18:15](/matthew/18-15 "Matthew 18:15 - Confronting a Brother Privately")). Furthermore, Jesus perfectly guarded the "secrets" or "mysteries" of the Father, revealing only what was necessary for salvation and in His perfect timing, for no one has seen God except the Son who reveals Him ([John 1:18](/john/1-18 "John 1:18 - The Son Reveals the Father")). Indeed, the "secret" or "mystery" of the Gospel itself, once hidden for ages, has now been gloriously revealed through Christ ([Romans 16:25-27](/romans/16-25 "Romans 16:25-27 - The Revelation of the Mystery")), demonstrating God's ultimate act of "discovering" His redemptive plan for humanity. Through the indwelling Holy Spirit, believers are empowered to emulate Christ's example, speaking truth in love and exercising profound discretion, thereby becoming agents of reconciliation, integrity, and edifying speech in a world often plagued by division, careless words, and the betrayal of trust ([Ephesians 4:15](/ephesians/4-15 "Ephesians 4:15 - Speaking Truth in Love") and [Colossians 4:6](/colossians/4-6 "Colossians 4:6 - Gracious Speech")).

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.

Cross-References

Proverbs 11:13

A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.

Proverbs 20:19

¶ He that goeth about [as] a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.

Matthew 18:5

And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.

Matthew 18:17

And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell [it] unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.