Debate thy cause with thy neighbour [himself]; and discover not a secret to another:
Debate {H7378} thy cause {H7379} with thy neighbour {H7453} himself; and discover {H1540} not a secret {H5475} to another {H312}:
Discuss your dispute with your neighbor, but don't reveal another person's secrets.
Argue your case with your neighbor without betraying another’s confidence,
Debate thy cause with thy neighbor himself, And disclose not the secret of another;
-
Proverbs 11:13
A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter. -
Proverbs 20:19
¶ He that goeth about [as] a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips. -
Matthew 18:5
And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me. -
Matthew 18:17
And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell [it] unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.
Proverbs 25:9 offers timeless wisdom regarding interpersonal communication, particularly in managing disputes and maintaining confidentiality. This verse, part of a collection of King Solomon’s proverbs compiled by the men of Hezekiah, provides practical guidance for navigating social interactions with discretion and integrity.
Context
The book of Proverbs is a treasury of practical wisdom for daily living, often focusing on ethical conduct, speech, and relationships. Chapter 25 specifically contains proverbs that deal with various aspects of life, from leadership to personal behavior. This particular verse addresses how to handle disagreements and the importance of keeping confidences, reflecting the broader biblical emphasis on wise and responsible speech.
Key Themes
Linguistic Insights
The Hebrew word for "debate" (rib) often refers to a legal contention or a personal dispute, underscoring the idea of pleading one's case directly. The phrase "discover not a secret" uses the Hebrew galah sod, which literally means "uncover a secret," highlighting the act of revealing something that was meant to remain hidden. The addition of "[himself]" after "neighbour" in the KJV text of the first clause is an interpretive nuance that rightly emphasizes the direct, one-on-one nature of the desired confrontation.
Related Scriptures
The principle of direct confrontation in conflict resolution is echoed in the New Testament. Jesus Himself taught a similar principle in Matthew 18:15, advising believers to go directly to an offending brother. The warning against revealing secrets aligns with other proverbs that condemn gossip and talebearing, such as Proverbs 11:13, which states that "A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter." This wisdom encourages building trust and maintaining integrity in all interactions.
Practical Application
Proverbs 25:9 remains highly relevant in contemporary society. It teaches us the value of mature communication: when issues arise, confront them directly and respectfully with the person involved. Avoid the temptation to complain to others or spread private information, as this erodes trust and damages relationships. Embracing this proverb means becoming a person known for discretion, reliability, and wisdom, fostering healthier personal and professional connections.