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Study this verse
Public-domain commentary
Matthew Henry
From his Commentary on the Whole Bible. Henry comments on passages, not single verses — this entry covers Proverbs 20:19.
Two sorts of people are dangerous to be conversed with: - 1. Tale-bearers, though they are commonly flatterers, and by fair speeches insinuate themselves into men's acquaintance. Those are unprincipled people that go about carrying stories, that make mischief among neighbours and relations, that sow in the minds of people jealousies of their governors, of their ministers, and of one another, that reveal secrets which they are entrusted with or which by unfair means they come to the knowledge of, under pretence of guessing at men's thoughts and intentions, tell that of them which is really false. "Be not familiar with such; do not give them the hearing when they tell their tales and reveal secrets, for you may be sure that they will betray your secrets too and tell tales of you." 2. Flatterers, for they are commonly tale-bearers. If a man fawn upon you, compliment and commend you, suspect him to have some design upon you, and stand upon your guard; he would pick that out of you which will serve him to make a story of to somebody else to your prejudice; therefore meddle not with him that flatters with his lips. Those too dearly love, and too dearly buy, their own praise, that will put confidence in a man and trust him with a secret or business because he flatters them.
Historical interpretation
Historical Reception
One surviving comment on this verse from the historical church.
And he who reveals mysteries, etc. If anyone wishes to join your circle of friends and you see him revealing the secrets of a former friend, beware of him as a traitor.
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Summary
Proverbs 20:19 delivers a profound dual warning against individuals who undermine trust through the dissemination of confidential information and those who employ insincere praise for manipulative purposes. It vividly portrays the destructive nature of gossip and the deceptive intent often concealed within flattery, urging the discerning reader to maintain a wise distance from such untrustworthy companions. This proverb underscores the critical importance of integrity in speech and the wisdom inherent in carefully choosing one's associations to safeguard both personal well-being and communal harmony.
Context
Literary Context
Proverbs 20:19 is nestled within the extensive "Solomonic Collection" (Proverbs 10-29), a compilation of individual, often antithetical or synthetic, proverbs designed to impart practical wisdom for daily life. These sayings frequently contrast the characteristics and destinies of the wise versus the foolish, and the righteous versus the wicked. Chapter 20 itself is a tapestry of diverse admonitions, covering topics such as the dangers of indulgence (Proverbs 20:1), the necessity of honest business practices (Proverbs 20:10), and the king's role in upholding justice (Proverbs 20:8). This particular verse, addressing talebearing and flattery, seamlessly integrates into this broader emphasis on righteous conduct and the far-reaching consequences of moral choices within social interactions, highlighting the pervasive influence of the spoken word.
Historical & Cultural Context
Ancient Israelite society was fundamentally communal, with a strong emphasis on relational bonds, reputation, honor, and trust. In a culture where oral communication was the primary medium for information exchange, the spoken word wielded immense power, capable of building up or tearing down. Gossip, slander, and the betrayal of confidences were not merely minor offenses; they could severely damage an individual's standing, disrupt social cohesion, and even lead to ostracism or legal repercussions. Flattery, while seemingly benign, was often a calculated tool of manipulation within a hierarchical society, used to curry favor, gain an advantage, or exploit others. The wisdom literature, including the book of Proverbs, emerged from a context where experienced elders and sages sought to transmit practical and theological truths to succeeding generations, equipping them to navigate complex social dynamics and maintain a righteous standing before God and their community. The warnings encapsulated in this proverb reflect a profound understanding of human nature and the significant societal impact of dishonest or manipulative speech.
Key Themes
Proverbs 20:19 makes a substantial contribution to several overarching themes present throughout the book of Proverbs. Foremost among these is the power and ethics of speech, a recurring and central motif (e.g., Proverbs 18:21). It vividly illustrates the destructive nature of gossip and slander, portraying the "talebearer" as a betrayer of trust, a concept also articulated in Proverbs 11:13. Intricately linked is the theme of trustworthiness and integrity, emphasizing that a wise individual is reliable and guards confidences, while the foolish or wicked are prone to deceit. The proverb also touches upon the crucial theme of discernment in relationships, advising the reader to exercise caution in their associations, particularly with those whose words lack sincerity, thereby reinforcing the broader call for wisdom in choosing companions found in passages like Proverbs 13:20. Ultimately, it subtly reinforces the theme of consequences, implying that a failure to heed this warning and a continued association with such individuals will inevitably lead to negative outcomes.
Exposition and Analysis
Key Word Analysis
Derived from a root suggesting "to traffic" or "to go about," this term denotes a "scandal-monger" or one who "carries tales." It paints a picture of an individual who actively moves from place to place, disseminating information, often with malicious intent or a reckless disregard for truth and confidentiality. The "talebearer" is characterized by the busy spreading of rumors or gossip, which inherently undermines trust and disrupts social cohesion.
This primitive root signifies "to denude," "to uncover," or "to disclose." In the context of "secrets," it describes the act of making known what was intended to remain hidden or confidential. This action carries a strong negative connotation of exposure, disgrace, or betrayal, as the talebearer "uncovers" secrets, stripping them of their hidden status and exposing them to public view, thereby violating a sacred trust.
While literally meaning "to open," this word figuratively implies "to make simple," "to entice," "to persuade," or "to delude." When applied to speech, it describes someone who employs smooth, alluring, or insincere words to manipulate or deceive. This flattery is not genuine affirmation but a calculated attempt to gain an advantage, often by appealing to the listener's vanity or desires, with an underlying motive that is far from pure.
Verse Breakdown
"He that goeth about [as] a talebearer revealeth secrets"
This initial clause identifies and describes the first type of untrustworthy individual. The "talebearer" is not a passive recipient of gossip but one who actively "goes about" disseminating it. The core offense is the "revealing of secrets," which constitutes a profound breach of confidence. This act damages relationships, erodes trust, and can inflict significant harm upon individuals and the community by exposing private matters that were shared in trust. The emphasis lies on the active, often deliberate, dissemination of confidential information.
"therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips."
This second clause provides a direct, prescriptive admonition, logically flowing from the character described in the first. The command "meddle not" (meaning "do not associate closely with," "do not get involved with," or "do not become entangled with") serves as a potent warning against forming intimate relationships or confiding in such a person. The "him that flattereth with his lips" is presented as a parallel danger to the talebearer, suggesting that those who are quick to betray confidences are often also those who use deceptive, insincere praise. Their words lack genuine substance and are instead a means to manipulate or exploit, indicating a fundamental lack of integrity and trustworthiness. The specific mention of "lips" underscores that the deception is purely verbal, devoid of true sincerity or honest intent.
Literary Devices
Proverbs 20:19 skillfully employs several literary devices to convey its crucial warning. The most prominent device is Parallelism, specifically a form of Synthetic Parallelism, where the second line advances or completes the thought presented in the first, rather than merely repeating it or offering an antithesis. Here, the "talebearer" who "revealeth secrets" is implicitly linked to "him that flattereth with his lips," suggesting that both types of individuals share a common characteristic of untrustworthiness and deceptive speech, leading to the same admonition: avoid close association with them. The verse also functions as a direct Admonition or Exhortation, issuing a clear command to the reader ("meddle not"). Furthermore, Metonymy is present in the phrase "flattereth with his lips," where "lips" serve as a stand-in for speech itself, highlighting the superficiality and insincerity of the flattery. Overall, the proverb operates as a potent Warning, alerting the audience to specific character types that pose a significant threat to personal integrity, social harmony, and the sanctity of trust.
Theological and Thematic Connections
This proverb is deeply rooted in the broader biblical emphasis on the sanctity of speech and the paramount importance of integrity in all human relationships. The God of the Bible is consistently portrayed as a God of truth, faithfulness, and unwavering covenant loyalty, and His people are called to reflect His character in their words and deeds. Revealing secrets is a profound breach of trust, a violation of the relational covenant, and a form of dishonesty that corrodes the very fabric of community. Similarly, flattery is a subtle yet potent form of deception, often motivated by selfish gain or manipulation, and stands in stark contrast to genuine love, honest communication, and authentic affirmation. The wisdom tradition throughout Scripture consistently warns against such behaviors, recognizing their destructive power within individuals and society. The theological implication is clear: righteous living necessitates not only speaking truth but also diligently guarding the confidences of others and discerning the true intentions behind words, thereby aligning one's speech with divine truth, love, and integrity.
Reflection and Application
Proverbs 20:19 offers a timeless and profoundly relevant caution for navigating human relationships in any era, but especially in our hyper-connected world. In an age saturated with social media, instant messaging, and the pervasive culture of sharing, the temptation to "go about as a talebearer" has never been greater. Information, whether true or false, private or public, can be disseminated globally in mere moments, often with devastating consequences for trust, reputation, and personal well-being. This proverb calls us to cultivate a deep and unwavering sense of integrity in our own speech, to become trustworthy guardians of confidences, and to steadfastly resist the urge to participate in gossip or slander, recognizing that such actions tear down rather than build up. Furthermore, it challenges us to develop keen spiritual discernment, to look beyond superficial words and carefully evaluate the character and underlying motives of those with whom we associate. Are their words consistently truthful, edifying, and sincere, or do they betray a pattern of insincerity, manipulation, or a disregard for others' privacy? The wisdom imparted here is not merely a pragmatic instruction to avoid bad company, but a deeper call to understand the insidious nature of deceptive speech so that we can protect ourselves from its influence and, more importantly, ensure that we ourselves never become such a person.
Questions for Reflection
FAQ
What is the fundamental difference between a "talebearer" and someone who "flattereth with his lips" as described in this proverb?
While both types of individuals are characterized by untrustworthy and potentially harmful speech, their methods and primary intentions differ significantly. A "talebearer" (Hebrew: râkîyl) is an individual who actively spreads gossip, rumors, or reveals secrets that were shared in confidence. Their action involves the disclosure of information, often to the detriment of others, for the sake of sensationalism, or simply out of a lack of discretion. Conversely, someone who "flattereth with his lips" (Hebrew: pâthâh) uses insincere praise, smooth words, or deceptive compliments, not primarily to reveal secrets, but to manipulate, entice, or gain an advantage over another person. Their speech is designed to persuade or delude, often by appealing to the listener's vanity or self-interest, with an underlying motive that is not genuine or benevolent. The proverb links them because both types of individuals demonstrate a profound lack of integrity in their communication and pose a significant danger to those who associate closely with them, as both behaviors erode trust and undermine authentic relationships.
Christ-Centered Fulfillment
Proverbs 20:19, with its sharp warning against the talebearer and the flatterer, finds its ultimate fulfillment and perfect counterpoint in the person and work of Jesus Christ. Jesus is the very embodiment of truth and integrity in speech; He never revealed secrets maliciously nor did He flatter with His lips to gain favor or manipulate. Instead, His words were always "full of grace and truth" (John 1:14), perfectly reflecting the character of God. Unlike the talebearer who betrays confidences, Jesus was the faithful witness, guarding the sacred truths of God's kingdom and revealing them only according to the Father's perfect will and timing (John 8:26). He exposed hypocrisy and falsehood with divine authority, yet always spoke with perfect love, discernment, and profound sincerity, never resorting to manipulation or deceit. His ministry was characterized by genuine affirmation of the humble and challenging truth for the proud, not insincere praise. The Holy Spirit, whom Jesus promised to send, is explicitly called the "Spirit of Truth" (John 16:13), guiding believers into all truth and empowering them to speak words that build up rather than tear down (Ephesians 4:29). In Christ, we discover the perfect model for speech that is pure, trustworthy, and life-giving, and through His transforming power, we are enabled to overcome the sinful tendencies of talebearing and flattery, reflecting His impeccable character in our words and relationships.