Proverbs 20:3

KJV

¶ [It is] an honour for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling.

KJV (with Strong's)

It is an honour {H3519} for a man {H376} to cease {H7674} from strife {H7379}: but every fool {H191} will be meddling {H1566}.

Complete Jewish Bible

Avoiding quarrels brings a person honor; for any fool can explode in anger.

Berean Standard Bible

It is honorable for a man to resolve a dispute, but any fool will quarrel.

American Standard Version

It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife; But every fool will be quarrelling.

Commentary

### SUMMARY
Proverbs 20:3 presents a profound contrast between the wise and the foolish, asserting that true dignity and respect are gained by a person who chooses to disengage from unnecessary conflict, while a foolish individual is characterized by an inherent inclination to interfere and instigate quarrels. This proverb, therefore, extols the virtue of self-restraint and discernment in social interactions, highlighting that wisdom knows when to step away from contention, whereas folly is impulsively drawn to it, leading to dishonor and discord.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** Proverbs 20:3 is situated within the "Solomonic collection" of proverbs (chapters 10-22), which largely consists of antithetical parallelism—a literary device where two opposing lines or ideas are juxtaposed to highlight a truth. This particular verse exemplifies this structure by contrasting the "honour" of avoiding strife with the "meddling" nature of the "fool." It fits seamlessly into the broader thematic tapestry of Proverbs, which consistently champions wisdom, discretion, and peace, while warning against folly, impulsiveness, and conflict. The book frequently addresses interpersonal relationships, the importance of speech, and the consequences of one's actions, making this proverb a direct application of these foundational principles. It resonates with other proverbs that advise against quarreling, such as [Proverbs 17:14](/proverbs/17-14 "Proverbs 17:14 - The Beginning of Strife"), which warns against the beginning of strife like the letting out of water.

* **Historical & Cultural Context:** In ancient Israelite society, as in many ancient Near Eastern cultures, communal harmony was highly valued, and a person's reputation (their "honor" or *kavod*) was paramount. Disputes could easily escalate and disrupt the fabric of family, clan, and community life. Legal matters were often settled publicly at the city gate, and the ability to resolve conflict peacefully or avoid it altogether was a mark of maturity and wisdom. The "fool" (*ʼĕvîyl*) in Proverbs is not merely unintelligent but morally deficient, often characterized by arrogance, impulsiveness, and an inability to learn from experience. Such an individual would naturally gravitate towards disruptive behavior, including meddling in others' affairs, which would be seen as a significant social transgression.

* **Key Themes:** This proverb contributes significantly to several overarching themes in the book of Proverbs. Firstly, it underscores the central theme of **Wisdom vs. Folly**, clearly delineating the characteristics and outcomes associated with each. The wise person demonstrates self-control and foresight, choosing peace, while the fool is impulsive and disruptive. Secondly, it highlights the importance of **Honor and Reputation**; avoiding unnecessary conflict brings respect and dignity, contrasting sharply with the dishonor incurred by the meddling fool. Thirdly, the verse speaks to **Peace and Conflict Resolution**, advocating for a disposition that seeks harmony over discord. It implicitly teaches the value of discernment—knowing when to speak and when to remain silent, when to engage and when to withdraw—a crucial aspect of practical wisdom for navigating the complexities of human relationships, as seen in the call to live peaceably in [Romans 12:18](/romans/12-18 "Romans 12:18 - Live Peaceably with All").

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS
#### Key Word Analysis
* **Honour (Hebrew, _kâbôwd'_):** From H3519, this word primarily denotes "weight" or "heaviness," but figuratively it conveys "splendor," "glory," or "dignity." In this context, it signifies the respect, reputation, and moral authority gained by one who demonstrates self-control and wisdom by refraining from conflict. It's not merely external recognition but an inherent quality of worth.
* **Cease (Hebrew, _shebeth'_):** Derived from H7674, meaning "rest," "interruption," or "cessation." This implies a deliberate act of stopping or refraining. It's not a passive avoidance but an active decision to disengage, to "sit still" from the impulse to quarrel. This cessation is presented as a volitional act of wisdom.
* **Meddling (Hebrew, _gâlaʻ'_):** From H1566, a primitive root meaning "to be obstinate" or "to inter-meddle." This word describes the fool's active and often aggressive involvement in disputes, whether by initiating them, prolonging them, or inserting themselves into conflicts that do not concern them. It conveys a sense of breaking out into contention or being stubbornly drawn to strife.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"It is an honour for a man to cease from strife":** This clause establishes the positive affirmation of the proverb. It declares that the act of a human being (man, _ʼîysh_, H376) deliberately choosing to step away from or avoid contention (strife, _rîyb_, H7379) is not a sign of weakness but rather a source of dignity, respect, and moral weight. It implies a maturity that prioritizes peace and discernment over impulsive engagement in quarrels.
* **"but every fool will be meddling":** This clause provides the sharp contrast, defining the characteristic behavior of the "fool" (_ʼĕvîyl_, H191). Unlike the wise person, the fool is inherently predisposed to conflict, eagerly and obstinately involving themselves in disputes. Their "meddling" signifies an inability to restrain their impulses, a lack of discernment regarding when to engage, and often an active desire to instigate or prolong arguments, leading to negative consequences and a loss of honor.

#### Literary Devices
The primary literary device employed in Proverbs 20:3 is **Antithetical Parallelism**. This structure is fundamental to much of the wisdom literature, especially Proverbs, where two lines express opposing ideas to highlight a moral or practical truth. Here, the honor of ceasing from strife is directly contrasted with the folly of meddling, making the distinction between wise and foolish behavior stark and memorable. Additionally, the proverb uses **Characterization**, vividly portraying the "man" who seeks honor through restraint and the "fool" who is defined by their inherent tendency to meddle. The phrase "every fool" also employs a form of **Generalization** or **Categorization**, asserting a universal truth about the nature of foolishness.

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
Proverbs 20:3 resonates deeply with the biblical emphasis on peace, self-control, and the pursuit of wisdom as a reflection of God's character. God is consistently portrayed as a God of order and peace, not chaos or strife. Therefore, human actions that promote harmony and avoid unnecessary conflict align with divine wisdom. The proverb highlights that true strength is not found in winning every argument or asserting one's will in every dispute, but in the spiritual maturity to discern when silence, withdrawal, or peacemaking is the more honorable and God-glorifying path. This wisdom is a gift from God, enabling believers to live in a manner worthy of their calling, fostering unity within the community of faith and bearing witness to the world.

* [Proverbs 15:18](/proverbs/15-18 "Proverbs 15:18 - A Hot-Tempered Man Stirs Up Strife")
* [James 3:17-18](/james/3-17 "James 3:17-18 - Wisdom from Above is Peaceable")
* [Philippians 2:3](/philippians/2-3 "Philippians 2:3 - Do Nothing from Selfish Ambition")

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
In an increasingly polarized and contentious world, Proverbs 20:3 offers timeless wisdom for navigating personal, social, and even online interactions. It challenges us to examine our own inclinations: are we quick to engage in arguments, or do we actively seek to de-escalate conflict and pursue peace? The "honour" spoken of is not merely human approval but a deeper sense of integrity and alignment with God's will. Cultivating the ability to "cease from strife" requires humility, patience, and self-control, recognizing that not every disagreement requires our intervention or a winning argument. It encourages us to prioritize relational harmony and the pursuit of truth with grace, rather than indulging in the impulse to "meddle" which often stems from pride, a need for control, or a lack of discernment. This proverb calls us to be peacemakers in our homes, workplaces, communities, and digital spaces, reflecting the character of Christ.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **In what areas of my life am I most prone to "meddling" or engaging in unnecessary strife?**
* **What motivates my desire to engage in arguments, and how can I cultivate more self-control and discernment?**
* **How can I actively pursue peace and bring honor to God in my daily interactions, even when provoked?**
* **What specific steps can I take to "cease from strife" in a challenging relationship or situation?**

### FAQ
**Does "cease from strife" mean avoiding all conflict, even when truth or justice is at stake?**

Answer: No, the proverb primarily addresses *unnecessary* or *personal* strife, quarrels, and meddling. It does not advocate for cowardice or a refusal to stand up for truth, justice, or the oppressed. There are times when believers are called to contend for the faith ([Jude/1-3](/jude/1-3 "Jude 1:3 - Contend for the Faith")) or to speak truth in love ([Ephesians 4:15](/ephesians/4-15 "Ephesians 4:15 - Speaking Truth in Love")), even if it causes discomfort or opposition. The wisdom lies in discerning the difference between a principled stand and a foolish, self-serving argument. The "strife" a wise person ceases from is often that which is born of pride, impulsiveness, or a desire to interfere where one is not needed.

**How does one practically "cease from strife" in daily life?**

Answer: Practically, ceasing from strife involves several key actions and attitudes. It requires **self-awareness** to recognize one's own triggers and tendencies toward conflict. It demands **humility** to admit when one might be wrong or when an argument is not worth pursuing. **Patience** is crucial, allowing time for emotions to cool rather than reacting impulsively. It involves **active listening** to understand others' perspectives, and **choosing one's battles wisely**, recognizing that not every disagreement requires a response. Sometimes, it means **walking away** from a heated discussion, **changing the subject**, or simply **refusing to engage** with a provocateur. Ultimately, it is rooted in a desire to honor God by pursuing peace and unity, as encouraged in [Romans 12:18](/romans/12-18 "Romans 12:18 - Live Peaceably with All").

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
Proverbs 20:3 finds its ultimate fulfillment and deepest meaning in the person and work of Jesus Christ. He is the embodiment of divine wisdom, perfectly demonstrating what it means to "cease from strife" while never compromising truth. Though constantly provoked by religious leaders and those who sought to trap Him, Jesus often chose to remain silent ([Matthew 26:63](/matthew/26-63 "Matthew 26:63 - Jesus' Silence")) or to respond with profound wisdom that disarmed His adversaries without engaging in petty quarrels ([Matthew 22:15-22](/matthew/22-15 "Matthew 22:15-22 - Paying Taxes to Caesar")). He did not "meddle" in the foolish disputes of His day but focused on His mission to proclaim the Kingdom of God. More profoundly, Jesus is the ultimate Peacemaker, whose sacrifice on the cross brought peace between God and humanity ([Colossians 1:20](/colossians/1-20 "Colossians 1:20 - Peace Through His Blood")) and broke down the dividing wall of hostility among people ([Ephesians 2:14](/ephesians/2-14 "Ephesians 2:14 - Christ Our Peace")). Believers are called to imitate Christ's example, being "blessed peacemakers" ([Matthew 5:9](/matthew/5-9 "Matthew 5:9 - Blessed are the Peacemakers")) and cultivating the fruit of the Spirit, which includes self-control and peace ([Galatians 5:22-23](/galatians/5-22 "Galatians 5:22-23 - Fruit of the Spirit")), thereby bringing honor to God by living lives characterized by tranquility rather than contention.

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.

Cross-References

Proverbs 16:32

¶ [He that is] slow to anger [is] better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.

Proverbs 17:14

¶ The beginning of strife [is as] when one letteth out water: therefore leave off contention, before it be meddled with.

Ephesians 4:32

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Ephesians 5:1

¶ Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;

Proverbs 14:29

¶ [He that is] slow to wrath [is] of great understanding: but [he that is] hasty of spirit exalteth folly.

Proverbs 19:11

¶ The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and [it is] his glory to pass over a transgression.

Proverbs 18:6

¶ A fool's lips enter into contention, and his mouth calleth for strokes.