Judges 14:20

KJV

But Samson's wife was [given] to his companion, whom he had used as his friend.

KJV (with Strong's)

But Samson's {H8123} wife {H802} was given to his companion {H4828}, whom he had used as his friend {H7462}.

Complete Jewish Bible

and his wife was given to the companion who had been best man at the wedding.

Berean Standard Bible

and his wife was given to one of the men who had accompanied him.

American Standard Version

But Samson’s wife was given to his companion, whom he had used as his friend.

Commentary

### SUMMARY
Judges 14:20 marks a pivotal and deeply insulting turn in Samson's narrative, revealing that his Philistine wife, after betraying his riddle to her people and Samson's subsequent furious departure, was given by her father to one of Samson's wedding companions, whom Samson had considered a friend. This act of reassigning his wife to another man, particularly one from his own wedding party, served as a profound public humiliation and a direct catalyst, transforming Samson's personal marital dispute into a broader, intensified vendetta against the Philistines.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** This verse serves as the immediate consequence of Samson's enraged departure from Timnah after his Philistine wife betrayed the secret of his riddle (Judges 14:15-18). Having killed thirty Philistines in Ashkelon to pay off his riddle debt (Judges 14:19), Samson returned to his father's house, leaving his wife behind. The father-in-law, likely interpreting Samson's departure as a permanent abandonment, then gave her to a man who had been a "companion" at Samson's wedding feast. This act directly sets the stage for Samson's return in [Judges 15:1](/judges/15-1 "Judges 15:1 - Samson's Return and Vengeance") and the subsequent escalation of hostilities between Samson and the Philistines, forming a crucial narrative link between his personal grievances and his role as a judge against Israel's oppressors.
* **Historical & Cultural Context:** In ancient Near Eastern societies, marriage customs often involved a dowry paid by the groom to the bride's family. If a husband abandoned his wife without a formal divorce, her father typically retained rights over her, including the right to remarry her to another man, sometimes to recover or replace the dowry. Samson's angry departure was likely perceived as abandonment. The concept of a "companion" (Hebrew: _rēa'_) at a wedding feast would refer to a close associate, akin to a groomsman or best man, making the act of giving Samson's wife to such a person an even deeper personal affront within the honor-shame culture of the time. This public humiliation was designed to shame Samson and assert the Philistine family's control over the situation.
* **Key Themes:** Judges 14:20 powerfully underscores several key themes. Firstly, it highlights the **destructive consequences of betrayal and unchecked anger**. The wife's betrayal, born of fear, leads directly to her being given away, while Samson's rage results in the loss of his wife and a profound insult. Secondly, the theme of **humiliation and vengeance** is central; the act of losing his wife to a former "friend" is a public degradation that fuels Samson's desire for retribution against the Philistines, as seen in [Judges 15:3-8](/judges/15-3 "Judges 15:3-8 - Samson's Vengeance on the Philistines"). Thirdly, the verse subtly points to **divine sovereignty** at work, as Samson's flawed personal choices and the Philistines' actions are ultimately woven into God's larger plan to begin delivering Israel from Philistine oppression, as stated earlier in [Judges 14:4](/judges/14-4 "Judges 14:4 - God's Purpose in Samson's Marriage"). This personal grievance becomes a catalyst for the broader conflict that defines Samson's judgeship.

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS
#### Key Word Analysis
* **Companion (Hebrew, _rēa'_):** This term refers to a close associate, friend, or neighbor. In the context of a wedding feast, it would denote someone Samson had chosen to be part of his intimate celebration, perhaps a "best man" or a member of his inner circle of attendants. The fact that his wife was given to such a person intensifies the betrayal and insult, transforming a general affront into a deeply personal and humiliating act. It implies a breach of trust not only by the wife but also by someone Samson had considered an ally.
* **Given (Hebrew, _nātan_):** While the KJV adds "[given]", the Hebrew verb is indeed _nātan_ (to give, place, set), used here in the passive voice. This passive construction emphasizes that the wife was an object of transfer, with the agency resting with her father. It underscores her lack of autonomy and the patriarchal nature of the society, where women were often treated as property to be exchanged or reassigned, especially in matters of marriage and family honor. This highlights the transactional nature of the event from the father's perspective.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"But Samson's wife was [given]":** This clause immediately establishes the central action and its passive nature. The phrase indicates that the decision and execution of the transfer of Samson's wife were not her own, nor Samson's, but rather the prerogative of her father or family. This highlights her lack of agency and reinforces the patriarchal societal structure where women's marital status was often determined by male relatives.
* **"to his companion":** This specifies the recipient of Samson's wife. The choice of a "companion" – someone who had been part of Samson's wedding celebration – is crucial. It elevates the insult from a mere loss of a wife to a profound personal betrayal and public humiliation. This was not a stranger, but someone Samson had shared fellowship with, making the act far more grievous.
* **"whom he had used as his friend":** This final phrase underscores the depth of the personal affront. It emphasizes that the man who received Samson's wife was not just an acquaintance, but someone Samson had treated with familiarity and trust, considering him a "friend." This betrayal by a trusted associate adds another layer of pain and indignation for Samson, serving as a direct provocation for his subsequent acts of vengeance.

#### Literary Devices
Judges 14:20 employs several potent **Literary Devices** to convey its dramatic impact. **Irony** is prominent, as the "friend" Samson had chosen for his wedding feast becomes the very individual to whom his wife is given, turning what should have been a bond of camaraderie into a source of profound betrayal and humiliation. This ironic twist deepens the personal nature of the conflict. The verse also functions as a powerful moment of **Foreshadowing**, directly setting the stage for Samson's subsequent acts of vengeance in [Judges 15](/judges/15 "Judges 15 - Samson's Vengeance"). The personal insult described here is the direct catalyst for the escalating conflict between Samson and the Philistines, indicating that the story is moving towards greater violence. Furthermore, the verse serves as a **Turning Point** or **Climax** in the immediate narrative arc, transforming Samson's personal marital dispute into an open and deeply personal vendetta, marking the end of any pretense of peaceful coexistence and ushering in a new phase of direct confrontation.

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
Judges 14:20 stands as a stark testament to the destructive ripple effects of betrayal, unchecked anger, and human sin. The narrative reveals how personal grievances, fueled by pride and a desire for vengeance, can rapidly escalate into broader conflicts, ensnaring not only individuals but entire communities. The Philistine father's action, while perhaps culturally permissible, was a profound insult designed to shame Samson, demonstrating the pervasive nature of an honor-shame culture where personal dignity was paramount. Theologically, the verse highlights the consequences of Samson's flawed choices, particularly his repeated disregard for the covenant by intermarrying with a Philistine, which ultimately brings him personal pain and fuels a cycle of violence, rather than a clear, God-ordained deliverance. Yet, even within this brokenness, God's sovereign hand is at work, using these very conflicts to begin the process of delivering Israel from the Philistines, albeit through Samson's often chaotic and self-serving actions.

* [Proverbs 18:24](/proverbs/18-24 "Proverbs 18:24 - A Friend Who Sticks Closer Than a Brother")
* [Matthew 10:36](/matthew/10-36 "Matthew 10:36 - A Man's Enemies Will Be Those of His Own Household")
* [Romans 12:19](/romans/12-19 "Romans 12:19 - Vengeance is Mine")

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Judges 14:20 is a powerful reminder that our choices, especially those made in anger or in disregard of divine wisdom, carry far-reaching consequences that can ripple through our lives and the lives of others. Samson's story here is a cautionary tale about the perils of unchecked rage and the pain of betrayal. While his anger may have been justified given the circumstances, his response led to a cycle of vengeance rather than a path of reconciliation or true justice. For believers today, this verse underscores the critical importance of discerning relationships, recognizing that not all who appear as "friends" are trustworthy, and exercising wisdom in our associations. More profoundly, it challenges us to confront our own responses to betrayal and insult. Are we quick to seek personal retribution, or do we, by God's grace, choose the path of forgiveness, entrusting justice to the Lord? This passage calls us to break the cycle of escalating conflict by seeking God's wisdom and demonstrating restraint, even when deeply wronged, remembering that true strength is often found not in retaliation, but in humble submission to God's will and His timing for justice.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **How do personal betrayals, like the one Samson experienced, often escalate into broader conflicts in our own lives or communities?**
* **What role does unchecked anger play in perpetuating cycles of pain and retaliation, and how can we better manage it?**
* **How does this story challenge our understanding of "friendship" and the importance of discerning trustworthy companions?**
* **In what ways can we respond to betrayal and humiliation in a manner that honors God and seeks reconciliation, rather than fueling vengeance?**

### FAQ
**Why was Samson's wife given to his companion, and was this customary?**

Answer: Samson's wife was given to his companion because her father likely interpreted Samson's furious departure in [Judges 14:19](/judges/14-19 "Judges 14:19 - Samson's Rage and Slaughter") as a permanent abandonment of his daughter. In ancient Near Eastern societies, if a husband left his wife without a formal divorce, her family, particularly her father, often retained rights over her. This included the right to remarry her to another man, especially if a dowry had been paid and now needed to be returned or replaced. Giving her to one of Samson's wedding companions, a man already known to the family, would have been a culturally acceptable way to secure her future and maintain family honor, while also serving as a clear insult to Samson.

**How did Samson react to this news, and what were the immediate consequences?**

Answer: Samson reacted with extreme fury and a desire for vengeance. [Judges 15:1-8](/judges/15-1 "Judges 15:1-8 - Samson's Vengeance") details his response. When he later returned to Timnah to visit his wife, he was informed by her father that she had been given to his companion. This news ignited Samson's rage, leading him to capture 300 foxes, tie their tails together in pairs with torches, and release them into the Philistine fields, burning their standing grain, vineyards, and olive groves. This act of personal retribution directly escalated the conflict between Samson and the Philistines, setting the stage for further violent confrontations.

**Does this story suggest God condones Samson's violent actions?**

Answer: The book of Judges often presents Samson as a flawed hero whose actions, though violent and often driven by personal vendetta, are nonetheless used by God to begin the deliverance of Israel from the Philistines (cf. [Judges 13:5](/judges/13-5 "Judges 13:5 - Samson's Prophetic Birth")). While the text describes Samson's actions, it does not necessarily endorse them as morally perfect or exemplary. Instead, it portrays the complex reality of a judge operating within a fallen world, where God works through imperfect vessels. Samson's story highlights God's sovereign ability to achieve His purposes even amidst human sinfulness, brokenness, and violent impulses, rather than condoning the violence itself.

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
The narrative of Samson's betrayal and the subsequent giving of his wife to a "friend" powerfully foreshadows the ultimate betrayal experienced by Christ, yet with a profound contrast in outcome and character. Samson, a judge and deliverer for Israel, was betrayed by his closest associates and rejected by those he sought to deliver, leading him to a path of personal vengeance. In stark contrast, Jesus, the true and ultimate Deliverer, also experienced profound betrayal, most notably by Judas, one of His chosen companions, who handed Him over to His enemies ([Matthew 26:47-50](/matthew/26-47 "Matthew 26:47-50 - Judas's Betrayal")). While Samson sought to reclaim what was "his" through destructive force, Christ willingly "gave" Himself, not to another, but as a sacrifice for the sins of the world ([John 1:29](/john/1-29 "John 1:29 - Jesus, the Lamb of God")). He was abandoned and "given over" to death, not out of personal insult or for vengeance, but as the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world ([Acts 2:23](/acts/2-23 "Acts 2:23 - God's Foreknowledge and Jesus' Crucifixion")). Unlike Samson, whose story ends in a final act of self-destructive vengeance, Christ's "giving over" led to resurrection and the ultimate triumph over sin and death, establishing a kingdom not built on retaliation but on grace, forgiveness, and eternal life for all who believe ([John 18:36](/john/18-36 "John 18:36 - Jesus' Kingdom Is Not of This World")). He is the true friend who lays down His life for His friends ([John 15:13](/john/15-13 "John 15:13 - Greater Love Has No One Than This")), transforming betrayal into the path of salvation.

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.

Cross-References

Judges 15:2

And her father said, I verily thought that thou hadst utterly hated her; therefore I gave her to thy companion: [is] not her younger sister fairer than she? take her, I pray thee, instead of her.

John 3:29

He that hath the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom's voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled.

John 13:18

¶ I speak not of you all: I know whom I have chosen: but that the scripture may be fulfilled, He that eateth bread with me hath lifted up his heel against me.

Judges 15:6

Then the Philistines said, Who hath done this? And they answered, Samson, the son in law of the Timnite, because he had taken his wife, and given her to his companion. And the Philistines came up, and burnt her and her father with fire.

Micah 7:5

Trust ye not in a friend, put ye not confidence in a guide: keep the doors of thy mouth from her that lieth in thy bosom.

Jeremiah 9:5

And they will deceive every one his neighbour, and will not speak the truth: they have taught their tongue to speak lies, [and] weary themselves to commit iniquity.

Psalms 55:12

For [it was] not an enemy [that] reproached me; then I could have borne [it]: neither [was it] he that hated me [that] did magnify [himself] against me; then I would have hid myself from him: