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Public-domain commentary
Matthew Henry
From his Commentary on the Whole Bible. Henry comments on passages, not single verses — this entry covers Judges 14:10–20. His two-level outline is real structure in the source text, so it is rendered as structure.
We have here an account of Samson's wedding feast and the occasion it gave him to fall foul upon the Philistines.
I.Samson conformed to the custom of the country in making a festival of his nuptial solemnities, which continued seven days, Jdg 14:10.
Though he was a Nazarite, he did not affect, in a thing of this nature, to be singular, but did as the young men used to do upon such occasions. It is no part of religion to go contrary to the innocent usages of the places where we live: nay, it is a reproach to religion when those who profess it give just occasion to others to call them covetous, sneaking, and morose. A good man should strive to make himself, in the best sense, a good companion.
II.His wife's relations paid him the accustomed respect of the place upon that occasion, and brought him thirty young men to keep him company during the solemnity, and to attend him as his grooms-men (Jdg 14:11): When they saw him, what a comely man he was, and what an ingenuous graceful look he had, they brought him these to do him honour, and to improve by his conversation while he staid among them. Or, rather, when they saw him, what a strong stout man he was, they brought these, seemingly to be his companions, but really to be a guard upon him, or spies to observe him. Jealous enough they were of him, but would have been more so had they known of his victory over the lion, which therefore he had industriously concealed. The favours of Philistines have often some mischief or other designed in them.
III.Samson, to entertain the company, propounds a riddle to them, and lays a wager with them that they cannot find it out in seven days, Jdg 14:12-14. The usage, it seems, was very ancient upon such occasions, when friends were together, to be innocently merry, not to spend all the time in dull eating and drinking, as bishop Patrick expresses it, or in other gratifications of sense, as music, dancing, or shows, but to propose questions, by which their learning and ingenuity might be tried and improved. This becomes men, wise men, that value themselves by their reason; but very unlike to it are the infamous and worse than brutish entertainments of this degenerate age, which send nothing round but the glass and the health, till reason is drowned, and wisdom sunk. Now,
1.Samson's riddle was his own invention, for it was his own achievement that gave occasion for it: Out of the eater came forth meat, and out of the strong came forth sweetness. Read my riddle, what is this? Beasts of prey do not yield meat for man, yet food came from the devourer; and those creatures that are strong when they are alive commonly smell strong and are every way offensive when they are dead, as horses, and yet out of the strong, or out of the bitter, so the Syriac and Arabic read it, came sweetness. If they had but so much sense as to consider what eater is most strong, and what meat is most sweet, they would have found out the riddle, and neither lions nor honey were such strangers to their country that the thoughts of them needed to be out of the way; and the solving of the riddle would have given him occasion to tell them the entertaining story on which it was founded. This riddle is applicable to many of the methods of divine providence and grace. When God, by an over-ruling providence, brings good out of evil to his church and people, - when that which threatened their ruin turns to their advantage, - when their enemies are made serviceable to them, and the wrath of men turns to God's praise, - then comes meat out of the eater and sweetness out of the strong. See Phi 1:12.
2.His water was more considerable to him than to them, because he was one against thirty partners. It was not a wager laid upon God's providence, or upon the chance of a die or a card, but upon their ingenuity, and amounted to no more than an honorary recompence of wit and a disgrace upon stupidity.
IV.His companions, when they could not expound the riddle themselves, obliged his wife to get from him the exposition of it, Jdg 14:15.
Whether they were really of a dull capacity, or whether under a particular infatuation at this time, it was strange that none of the thirty could in all this time stumble upon so plain a thing as that, What is sweeter than honey and what stronger than a lion? It should seem that in wit, as well as manners, they were barbarous - barbarous indeed to threaten the bride that, if she would not use means with the bridegroom to let them into the meaning of it, they would burn her and her father's house with fire. Could any thing be more brutish? It was base enough to turn a jest into earnest, and those were unworthy of conversation that would grow so outrageous rather than confess their ignorance and lose so small a wager; nor would it save their credit at all to tell the riddle when they were told it. It was yet more villainous to engage Samson's wife to be a traitor to her own husband, and to pretend a greater interest in her than he had. Now that she was married she must forget her own people. Yet most inhuman of all was it to threaten, if she could not prevail, to burn her and all her relations with fire, and all for fear of losing each of them the value of a shirt and a coat: Have you called us to take what we have? Those must never lay wagers that cannot lose more tamely and easily than thus.
V.His wife, by unreasonable importunity, obtains from him a key to his riddle.
It was on the seventh day, that is, the seventh day of the week (as Dr. Lightfoot conjectures), but the fourth day of the feast, that they solicited her to entice her husband (Jdg 14:15), and she did it,
1.With great art and management (Jdg 14:16), resolving not to believe he loved her, unless he would gratify her in this thing. She knew he could not bear to have his love questioned, and therefore, if any thing would work upon him, that would: "Thou dost but hate me, and lovest me not, if thou deniest me;" whereas he had much more reason to say, "Thou dost but hate me, and lovest me not, if thou insistest on it." And, that she might not make this the test of his affection, he assures her he had not told his own parents, notwithstanding the confidence he reposed in them. If this prevail not, she will try the powerful eloquence of tears: she wept before him the rest of the days of the feast, choosing rather to mar the mirth, as the bride's tears must needs do, than not gain her point, and oblige her countrymen, Jdg 14:17.
2.With great success. At last, being quite wearied with her importunity, he told her what was the meaning of his riddle, and though we may suppose she promised secresy, and that if he would but let her know she would tell nobody, she immediately told it to the children of her people; nor could he expect better from a Philistine, especially when the interests of her country were ever so little concerned. See Mic 7:5, Mic 7:6. The riddle is at length unriddled (Jdg 14:18): What is sweeter than honey, or a better meat? Pro 24:13. What is stronger than a lion, or a greater devourer? Samson generously owns they had won the wager, though he had good reason to dispute it, because they had not declared the riddle, as the bargain was (Jdg 14:12), but it had been declared to them. But he only thought fit to tell them of it: If you had not ploughed with my heifer, made use of your interest with my wife, you would not have found out my riddle. Satan, in his temptations, could not do us the mischief he does if he did not plough with the heifer of our own corrupt nature.
VI.Samson pays his wager to these Philistines with the spoils of others of their countrymen, Jdg 14:19.
He took this occasion to quarrel with the Philistines, went down to Ashkelon, one of their cities, where probably he knew there was some great festival observed at this time, to which many flocked, out of whom he picked out thirty, slew them, and took their clothes, and gave them to those that had expounded the riddle; so that, in balancing the account, it appeared that the Philistines were the losers, for one of the lives they lost was worth all the suits of clothes they won: the body is more than raiment. The Spirit of the Lord came upon him, both to authorize and to enable him to do this.
VII.This proves a good occasion of weaning Samson from his new relations.
He found how his companions had abused him and how his wife had betrayed him, and therefore his anger was kindled, Jdg 14:19. Better be angry with Philistines than in love with them, because, when we join ourselves to them, we are most in danger of being ensnared by them. And, meeting with this ill usage among them, he went up to his father's house. It were well for us if the unkindnesses we meet with from the world, and our disappointments in it, had but this good effect upon us, to oblige us by faith and prayer to return to our heavenly Father's house and rest there. The inconveniences that occur in our way should make us love home and long to be there. No sooner had he gone than his wife was disposed of to another, Jdg 14:20. Instead of begging his pardon for the wrong she had done him, when he justly signified his resentment of it only by withdrawing in displeasure for a time, she immediately marries him that was the chief of the guests, the friend of the bridegroom, whom perhaps she loved too well, and was too willing to oblige, when she got her husband to tell her the riddle. See how little confidence is to be put in man, when those may prove our enemies whom we have used as our friends.
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Summary
Judges 14:16 presents a pivotal moment of intense domestic and cultural pressure on Samson, as his Philistine wife employs relentless emotional manipulation to extract the answer to his riddle. Her accusatory lament, "Thou dost but hate me, and lovest me not," powerfully underscores the profound conflict between personal loyalty and tribal allegiance, revealing Samson's surprising vulnerability despite his immense physical strength and establishing a pattern for his future susceptibility to female influence.
Context
Literary Context
This verse serves as the dramatic climax of the riddle narrative, which began when Samson posed his challenge to thirty Philistine companions at his wedding feast in Timnath (Judges 14:12). The riddle itself was born from Samson's unique encounter with a lion and his subsequent discovery of honey within its carcass (Judges 14:8). The Philistines, unable to solve the puzzle, resorted to threatening Samson's wife and her family with fire if she did not coerce the answer from her husband (Judges 14:15). Verse 16 details the wife's successful method of emotional coercion, which ultimately leads to Samson's capitulation and the revelation of the riddle's solution in the immediate subsequent verses (Judges 14:17-18).
Historical & Cultural Context
The narrative is set in Timnath, a Philistine city, underscoring the persistent tension and intermingling between the Israelites and their Philistine oppressors during the period of the Judges. Wedding feasts in this ancient Near Eastern context were elaborate, multi-day affairs, often lasting seven days, which provided the extended timeframe for Samson's riddle challenge. The significant wager of thirty changes of garments and thirty linen garments highlights the cultural importance and high stakes of such intellectual contests. The Philistines' brutal threat to burn the wife and her father's house was a grim but not uncommon form of coercion in ancient societies, emphasizing the severe pressure she faced. This context also illuminates the inherent challenges of inter-ethnic marriage, where divided loyalties, as exemplified by the wife's ultimate allegiance to her own people, frequently led to conflict and tragedy.
Key Themes
Judges 14:16 vividly illustrates several profound themes. Firstly, Emotional Manipulation and Coercion are central, as Samson's wife strategically employs tears and accusations to exploit his affections and sense of obligation, revealing the destructive power of such tactics within intimate relationships. Secondly, the verse highlights a profound Conflict of Loyalties, not only for Samson's wife, who is caught between her husband and the existential threats from her Philistine community, but also for Samson, who must choose between keeping his secret and appeasing his wife. Thirdly, it underscores Samson's Vulnerability, demonstrating that despite his unparalleled physical strength, he possesses a significant emotional weakness, particularly concerning women. This incident serves as a clear Foreshadowing of his later, more devastating susceptibility to Delilah's persistent nagging in Judges 16:16, which ultimately leads to his capture and humiliation. Finally, underlying these human dramas is the pervasive theme of Divine Sovereignty, as the narrator explicitly states in Judges 14:4 that Samson's seemingly flawed choices were "of the Lord," working to find an occasion against the Philistines and further God's purposes for Israel's deliverance.
Exposition and Analysis
Key Word Analysis
This verb (H1058) signifies more than simple crying; it often denotes deep sorrow, lamentation, or, as in this context, a deliberate and intense display of distress intended to elicit sympathy or compliance. It indicates the profound intensity of the wife's emotional appeal and her strategic use of tears as a powerful tool of persuasion.
This root (H8130) means to hate personally, to be an enemy or foe. In the context of "Thou dost but hate me, and lovest me not," it forms a strong Hebrew idiom expressing profound disappointment, rejection, or a complete lack of genuine affection, rather than literal animosity. It's a hyperbolic accusation designed to make Samson feel guilty and unloved, thereby pressurizing him to reveal his secret.
From the root meaning "to tie a knot," this noun (H2420) refers to a puzzle, a trick, a conundrum, or a dark saying. It highlights the intellectual challenge Samson posed and the inherent difficulty in solving it, making his wife's demand for the answer a request for privileged, concealed information.
Verse Breakdown
"And Samson's wife wept before him"
This clause immediately establishes the emotional atmosphere and the wife's primary tactic. Her weeping is a deliberate, public display of distress, designed to manipulate Samson and make him feel responsible for her suffering. It marks the opening salvo in her campaign of coercion, setting the stage for the verbal assault that follows.
"and said, Thou dost but hate me, and lovest me not"
This is the core of her emotional accusation, a powerful and hyperbolic appeal. By framing his secrecy as a lack of love and even as hatred, she attempts to undermine his resolve and exploit his affection for her, making the revelation of the riddle a test of his commitment and love within their marital bond.
"thou hast put forth a riddle unto the children of my people, and hast not told [it] me"
This specifies her grievance, emphasizing the perceived betrayal. She argues that his willingness to engage her Philistine countrymen in a riddle, yet withhold the answer from her, his wife, constitutes a profound breach of intimacy and trust. It implies that she, as his closest companion, should be privy to his secrets, especially when her own people are involved and their lives are at stake.
"And he said unto her, Behold, I have not told [it] my father nor my mother, and shall I tell [it] thee?"
Samson's initial resistance reveals the perceived importance and secrecy of the riddle. By stating that he has not even told his own parents, he attempts to establish a hierarchy of trust, implying that if his closest family members are not privy to it, she certainly should not be. This demonstrates his initial resolve and his understanding of the secret's significance, yet it also highlights his eventual failure to maintain that resolve in the face of persistent emotional pressure.
Literary Devices
The verse is rich in Emotional Manipulation, as Samson's wife strategically uses tears and accusations of hatred to wear down his resistance. There is significant Irony present: Samson, the physically strongest man in Israel, is shown to be emotionally vulnerable and easily swayed by a woman's tears, a stark contrast to his superhuman feats of strength. This incident serves as powerful Foreshadowing, directly predicting his later, more catastrophic yielding to Delilah's persistent nagging in Judges 16, establishing a recurring pattern of his weakness concerning women. The dialogue itself creates palpable Dramatic Tension, building suspense as the reader anticipates whether Samson will ultimately succumb to the intense pressure.
Theological and Thematic Connections
Judges 14:16 offers a stark illustration of the destructive power of emotional manipulation within relationships and the profound challenges that arise when loyalties are divided. Samson's yielding to his wife's tears underscores a recurring theme in his life: a susceptibility to female influence that consistently compromises his divine calling. While his physical strength is unmatched, his moral and emotional fortitude prove tragically weak, highlighting the truth that true strength encompasses self-control and discernment. The narrative, though depicting human failings, simultaneously reminds us of God's sovereign hand, working through imperfect vessels and complex circumstances to advance His purposes for Israel's deliverance, even when human choices appear driven by personal weakness and compromise.
Reflection and Application
This passage serves as a potent cautionary tale about the insidious nature of emotional manipulation and the vital importance of discerning genuine emotional distress from coercive tactics. It challenges us to examine our own relationships, ensuring that love is expressed through respect, honesty, and mutual building up, rather than through guilt, accusation, or control. Samson's struggle also prompts us to reflect on our own vulnerabilities: where are we most susceptible to compromise, and how can we cultivate the inner strength and discernment to stand firm against undue pressure, even from those we love? Ultimately, it calls us to prioritize integrity and faithfulness to higher principles over immediate emotional appeasement, recognizing that true love seeks the good of the other, not merely compliance or selfish gain.
Questions for Reflection
FAQ
Why was Samson's wife so insistent on knowing the riddle?
Samson's wife was under extreme duress from her own Philistine countrymen. In Judges 14:15, the Philistines threatened to burn her and her father's house if she did not extract the riddle's answer from Samson. Her insistence was not merely curiosity or a desire for intimacy, but a desperate act to save her life and the lives of her family from a very real and brutal threat.
How does this incident relate to Samson's later encounter with Delilah?
This incident serves as a direct and powerful foreshadowing of Samson's ultimate downfall at the hands of Delilah in Judges 16. In both cases, a Philistine woman uses persistent emotional pressure—weeping, nagging, accusations of a lack of love—to extract a vital secret from Samson. The pattern established here, where Samson's immense physical strength is contrasted with his profound emotional vulnerability to female influence, is repeated and amplified with Delilah, leading to his capture and blinding.
Was Samson wrong to marry a Philistine woman?
While the Mosaic Law generally prohibited intermarriage with the Canaanite nations (e.g., Deuteronomy 7:3-4) to prevent assimilation and idolatry, the Philistines were not explicitly listed among these specific nations in the same way. More importantly, the narrative explicitly states that Samson's desire for this Philistine woman was "of the Lord" (Judges 14:4), who was seeking an occasion against the Philistines, Israel's oppressors. This highlights God's sovereign ability to work through complex human choices, even those that appear questionable or flawed, to advance His greater redemptive purposes for His people. It demonstrates that God's ways are often beyond our immediate understanding and that He can use imperfect instruments to achieve His perfect will.
Christ-Centered Fulfillment
Samson's tragic susceptibility to emotional manipulation and his ultimate yielding to pressure stand in stark contrast to the perfect integrity and unwavering resolve of Jesus Christ. While Samson, the physically strongest man, proved weakest in character, succumbing to tears and accusations, Christ, though appearing in weakness, resisted every temptation and manipulation of the enemy (Matthew 4:1-11). Samson's secret was a trivial riddle, withheld for a wager, yet revealed under duress; Christ's "secret" was the profound mystery of the gospel, willingly revealed for the salvation of humanity (Ephesians 3:3-6). Samson's love was conditional and easily exploited; Christ's love is sacrificial, unwavering, and freely given, even to His enemies (John 15:13). Ultimately, Samson's story, marked by human frailty and the consequences of compromise, points forward to the true Deliverer, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world, who, unlike Samson, willingly laid down His life, not under duress, but out of perfect love and obedience (Philippians 2:8), securing eternal victory where Samson experienced only temporary triumph and ultimate defeat.