Genesis 34:4

KJV

And Shechem spake unto his father Hamor, saying, Get me this damsel to wife.

KJV (with Strong's)

And Shechem {H7927} spake {H559} unto his father {H1} Hamor {H2544}, saying {H559}, Get {H3947} me this damsel {H3207} to wife {H802}.

Complete Jewish Bible

Sh'khem spoke with his father Hamor and said, "Get this girl for me; I want her to be my wife."

Berean Standard Bible

So Shechem told his father Hamor, “Get me this girl as a wife.”

American Standard Version

And Shechem spake unto his father Hamor, saying, Get me this damsel to wife.

Commentary

### SUMMARY
Genesis 34:4 records Shechem's direct and imperative appeal to his father, Hamor, demanding Dinah as his wife immediately following his violent defilement of her. This pivotal verse reveals Shechem's desire to legitimize his relationship with Dinah through the culturally accepted institution of marriage, yet it is profoundly rooted in an act of profound dishonor and sexual violence. This request sets the stage for complex and fraught negotiations between the two families, ultimately leading to the tragic and deceitful retaliation by Dinah's brothers, Simeon and Levi, against the men of Shechem.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** This verse is a critical turning point in the tragic narrative of Dinah, the daughter of Jacob and Leah. It directly follows the abhorrent act of sexual violence committed by Shechem against Dinah, as detailed in [Genesis 34:1-2](/genesis/34-1-2 "Genesis 34:1-2 - Dinah's Defilement"). While [Genesis 34:3](/genesis/34-3 "Genesis 34:3 - Shechem's Affection for Dinah") notes Shechem's subsequent "affection" for Dinah and his attempts to comfort her, verse 4 immediately shifts to his pragmatic, possessive demand for her as his wife, bypassing any notion of repentance or restitution for the initial crime. This request initiates the formal, albeit twisted, negotiations between the Hivite and Israelite families, setting the stage for the deceitful and violent retribution carried out by Dinah's brothers, Simeon and Levi, against the entire city of Shechem, culminating in the massacre described in [Genesis 34:25-29](/genesis/34-25-29 "Genesis 34:25-29 - The Slaughter of Shechem").

* **Historical & Cultural Context:** In the ancient Near East, patriarchal societies held significant authority within the family unit, particularly the father. Marriage arrangements were typically negotiated between the heads of households, often involving a bride-price (mohar) and various customs to formalize the union. While sexual violence was condemned, the concept of "making amends" often involved a forced marriage to the victim, sometimes with a penalty paid to her father, as seen in laws like [Deuteronomy 22:28-29](/deuteronomy/22-28-29 "Deuteronomy 22:28-29 - Law on Seduction"). Shechem's appeal to his father, Hamor, aligns with this cultural protocol, demonstrating that he sought to legitimize his actions through established social customs, albeit in a deeply flawed manner given the preceding violence. The Hivites were one of the Canaanite peoples inhabiting the land, and Jacob's family had recently settled peacefully near their city, as narrated in [Genesis 33:18](/genesis/33-18 "Genesis 33:18 - Jacob's Arrival in Shechem"), making the subsequent events a profound breach of hospitality and trust.

* **Key Themes:** This verse contributes significantly to several overarching themes within Genesis and the broader biblical narrative. It starkly highlights the **consequences of sin and unrighteous desire**, demonstrating how one act of violence (Shechem's defilement of Dinah) immediately begets further problematic actions (his possessive demand for marriage) and ultimately leads to a cascade of tragic events, including deceit and mass murder. The theme of **patriarchal authority and responsibility** is central, as Hamor's willingness to engage in negotiations on his son's behalf implicates the entire Hivite community in the unfolding tragedy. Furthermore, the narrative underscores the profound importance of **honor and integrity in relationships**, particularly marriage, contrasting Shechem's violent acquisition with the divine ideal of covenantal union. The events also touch on the theme of **Israel's distinctiveness and separation** from the Canaanite peoples, as the intermarriage proposal and the subsequent Hivite circumcision become a point of contention and ultimately, a catalyst for violent separation.

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS

#### Key Word Analysis
* **spake (Hebrew, _ʼâmar'_):** This primitive root, meaning "to say," is used with great latitude, encompassing not just simple speech but also to command, declare, demand, or appoint. In this context, Shechem's use of "spake" (and the subsequent "saying") carries the weight of a direct, authoritative request, almost a demand, to his father. It signifies his intent to initiate a formal process to acquire Dinah, reflecting his position as a prince and his desire to assert control over the situation.
* **Get (Hebrew, _lâqach'_):** This primitive root means "to take" in its widest variety of applications, including to accept, bring, buy, seize, or acquire. Here, it is used in the imperative form, "Get me," underscoring Shechem's possessive and acquisitive attitude. He views Dinah as an object to be obtained or seized, rather than a person to be honored or courted with respect, reinforcing the violent nature of his initial interaction with her. The verb choice reveals a mindset focused on acquisition rather than genuine, respectful union.
* **damsel (Hebrew, _yaldâh'_):** This feminine noun, meaning "a lass" or "girl," emphasizes Dinah's youth and vulnerability. The use of this term highlights the power imbalance inherent in the situation. Shechem, a prince, is demanding a young, vulnerable girl whom he has already violated. This word choice, while descriptive, implicitly underscores the egregious nature of his actions against someone so young and defenseless.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"And Shechem spake unto his father Hamor, saying,"**: This clause establishes the immediate action and the primary actors. Shechem, the perpetrator of the initial violence, takes the initiative to address his father, Hamor, who is the leader of the Hivite community. The act of "speaking" here is not a plea but a declaration, setting in motion the formal process of negotiation for marriage, reflecting the patriarchal social structure where such matters were handled by the male heads of families.
* **"Get me this damsel to wife."**: This is the direct quote of Shechem's demand, revealing his intent and his view of Dinah. The imperative "Get me" (from _lâqach_) signifies a command, not a request, and emphasizes his possessive desire to acquire Dinah as his property. The phrase "this damsel" dehumanizes Dinah, reducing her to an object of desire rather than acknowledging her as a person who has been deeply wronged. His immediate move to make her his "wife" reveals his attempt to normalize and legitimize a relationship that began with violence and dishonor, without any indication of remorse or true repentance for his initial transgression.

#### Literary Devices
The verse prominently employs **Direct Speech**, allowing Shechem's exact words to be heard, which immediately conveys his character and intentions. His imperative "Get me this damsel to wife" reveals a sense of entitlement and possessiveness rather than remorse or respect. There is profound **Irony** in Shechem's request for marriage, an institution meant to be built on honor, consent, and covenant, immediately following an act of violent defilement. The very act of seeking a legitimate union is undermined by the illegitimate and violent foundation upon which it is based. Furthermore, the verse serves as significant **Foreshadowing**. This seemingly simple request, aimed at resolving a volatile situation, instead precipitates a chain of events marked by deceit, treachery, and bloodshed, signaling the tragic and violent climax that will engulf both families and the city of Shechem.

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
Genesis 34:4 powerfully illustrates the profound consequences that ripple out from a single act of sin, particularly when that sin is rooted in unbridled desire and a lack of respect for another's dignity. Shechem's attempt to normalize his violent act through the institution of marriage, rather than through genuine repentance and restitution, reveals a heart focused on self-gratification and acquisition. This narrative underscores that even legitimate institutions like marriage cannot sanctify a foundation built on injustice and violence. The story serves as a stark reminder that sin, left unaddressed and unrepented of, often spirals into greater conflict and destruction, impacting not just individuals but entire communities.

* [Proverbs 4:23](/proverbs/4-23 "Proverbs 4:23 - Guard Your Heart")
* [Galatians 6:7](/galatians/6-7 "Galatians 6:7 - Sowing and Reaping")
* [Hebrews 13:4](/hebrews/13-4 "Hebrews 13:4 - Marriage is Honorable")

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Genesis 34:4 serves as a profound cautionary tale about the dangers of acting on impulse and desire without regard for moral boundaries, the dignity of others, or the sanctity of relationships. Shechem's attempt to cover his sin with a marriage proposal only escalates the conflict, demonstrating that one act of sin often leads to a chain of further complications and destructive outcomes, not just for the individual but for entire communities. This narrative reminds us that true repentance involves more than simply desiring a particular outcome or attempting to normalize a situation born of injustice; it requires acknowledging wrong, seeking forgiveness, and making genuine amends. For believers, this means cultivating a heart that prioritizes righteousness, respect, and the well-being of others above personal gratification. It calls us to examine our own desires and actions, ensuring they are aligned with God's will and not driven by selfish motives that could lead to harm or dishonor. The tragic events that follow this seemingly simple request highlight the profound impact of personal choices on family and community, urging believers to seek wisdom and integrity in all their dealings.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **How does Shechem's approach to Dinah, and his subsequent demand for marriage, challenge our understanding of true love and respect in relationships?**
* **In what ways might we, even subtly, attempt to legitimize or normalize our own sinful actions rather than seeking genuine repentance and reconciliation?**
* **What lessons can we draw from the broader narrative of Genesis 34 about the far-reaching consequences of unaddressed sin, both for individuals and communities?**

### FAQ

**Was Shechem's request for marriage sincere, or just an attempt to cover his crime?**

Answer: While [Genesis 34:3](/genesis/34-3 "Genesis 34:3 - Shechem's Affection for Dinah") indicates Shechem's "soul clave unto Dinah" and he "loved the damsel," suggesting genuine affection, his initial actions were violent and dishonorable. His request for marriage, though a cultural means of legitimizing a relationship and potentially a way to assuage his own conscience or social standing, appears to be an attempt to normalize a situation he created through force. It lacks any indication of true repentance or remorse for the profound harm inflicted upon Dinah and her family. It was a desire to possess and integrate, not necessarily to honor, restore, or genuinely atone.

**Why did Shechem speak to his father Hamor instead of directly to Jacob?**

Answer: In ancient Near Eastern patriarchal societies, it was customary for a young man to approach his father to initiate marriage proceedings. The father, as the head of the household and tribal leader, would then be responsible for negotiating with the bride's family, including discussions about bride-price (mohar) and other terms. This protocol reflects the societal structure where family heads, rather than individuals, conducted such significant inter-family affairs. Shechem's appeal to Hamor was the culturally appropriate first step in seeking to formalize the union, even given the highly problematic circumstances.

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
The tragic narrative initiated by Shechem's actions and his subsequent demand for Dinah highlights humanity's brokenness and the futility of attempting to rectify sin through human means that lack true repentance and honor. Shechem's desire to "get" Dinah, born of violence and possessiveness, stands in stark contrast to Christ's approach to humanity. Where Shechem sought to acquire and legitimize a relationship through force and cultural custom, Christ, in His boundless love, does not "get" or take us by force, but rather, He gives Himself for us, offering redemption and reconciliation for our sins (as seen in [Ephesians 5:25](/ephesians/5-25 "Ephesians 5:25 - Christ's Love for the Church")). The flawed foundation of Shechem's desire led to further bloodshed and deceit, but Christ establishes a new covenant founded on grace, truth, and the cleansing power of His sacrifice (as prophesied in [Jeremiah 31:31-34](/jeremiah/31-31-34 "Jeremiah 31:31-34 - The New Covenant") and fulfilled in [Luke 22:20](/luke/22-20 "The New Covenant in Christ's Blood")). He is the true Bridegroom who pursues His Church not with coercion but with sacrificial love, making all things new and establishing relationships on a foundation of righteousness and genuine, transforming love, utterly unlike the self-serving desires seen in Genesis 34:4 (cf. [Revelation 21:2](/revelation/21-2 "Revelation 21:2 - The New Jerusalem, the Bride")).

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.

Cross-References

Judges 14:2

And he came up, and told his father and his mother, and said, I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines: now therefore get her for me to wife.

Genesis 21:21

And he dwelt in the wilderness of Paran: and his mother took him a wife out of the land of Egypt.

2 Samuel 13:13

And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee.