2 Samuel 13:13

KJV

And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee.

KJV (with Strong's)

And I, whither shall I cause my shame {H2781} to go {H3212}? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one {H259} of the fools {H5036} in Israel {H3478}. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak {H1696} unto the king {H4428}; for he will not withhold {H4513} me from thee.

Complete Jewish Bible

Where could I go with such shame? And as for you, you will be regarded as one of Isra'el's vulgar brutes. Now therefore, please! Speak to the king, because he won't keep me from you."

Berean Standard Bible

Where could I ever take my shame? And you would be like one of the fools in Israel! Please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.”

American Standard Version

And I, whither shall I carry my shame? and as for thee, thou wilt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee.

Commentary

### SUMMARY
In 2 Samuel 13:13, Tamar, having endured a horrific violation by her half-brother Amnon, voices a desperate and profound lament. Her words articulate the irreparable shame and ruin inflicted upon her future, while simultaneously delivering a sharp indictment of Amnon's moral depravity. In a final, desperate attempt to salvage some semblance of a life, she proposes a marriage to him, appealing to the king's authority, a plea that tragically goes unheeded, setting the stage for further tragedy within David's royal household.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** This verse marks a pivotal and harrowing moment within the tragic narrative of King David's family, immediately following Amnon's heinous rape of his half-sister Tamar. The preceding verses meticulously detail Amnon's deceptive and manipulative ploy, orchestrated by his cunning cousin Jonadab, to lure Tamar to his private chambers under the false pretense of illness ([2 Samuel 13:1-7](/2_samuel/13-1-7 "2 Samuel 13:1-7 - Amnon's Deception and Violation of Tamar")). Tamar's words in this verse are her anguished, immediate response to Amnon's subsequent cruel dismissal of her, highlighting the profound personal and societal devastation she faces. This defilement of David's daughter by his own son ignites a catastrophic chain of escalating violence and rebellion within the royal family, ultimately leading to Absalom's vengeful murder of Amnon two years later ([2 Samuel 13:28-29](/2_samuel/13-28-29 "2 Samuel 13:28-29 - Absalom's Revenge on Amnon")) and his subsequent rebellion against King David ([2 Samuel 15](/2_samuel/15 "2 Samuel 15 - Absalom's Rebellion Against David")). The verse serves as a critical turning point, exposing the moral decay within David's house that would lead to its unraveling.

* **Historical & Cultural Context:** In ancient Israelite society, a woman's honor, social standing, and marriage prospects were inextricably linked to her virginity and the vigilant protection of her family. Sexual defilement, particularly by a close relative, brought immense and often irreparable shame not only upon the individual woman but also upon her entire family. A defiled woman was typically considered unmarriageable, effectively losing her future and becoming a social outcast with no means of support. Mosaic Law provided specific provisions for such situations: a man who had seduced a virgin was permitted to marry her if her father consented and he paid the bride-price ([Exodus 22:16-17](/exodus/22-16-17 "Exodus 22:16-17 - Law on Seduction")), and in cases of rape, the assailant was legally obligated to marry the victim and was forbidden from ever divorcing her ([Deuteronomy 22:28-29](/deuteronomy/22-28-29 "Deuteronomy 22:28-29 - Law on Rape and Forced Marriage")). Tamar's desperate plea to Amnon to "speak unto the king" reflects her deep understanding of these cultural norms and legal provisions, however unlikely their application after such a heinous act by a half-brother. Her appeal to the king's authority underscores the patriarchal structure where the king was the ultimate arbiter of justice and family matters, yet David's tragic inaction in this crisis would have devastating and far-reaching consequences.

* **Key Themes:** Tamar's lament in this verse powerfully encapsulates several critical themes within the broader narrative of 2 Samuel and the Old Testament. Firstly, it highlights **the devastating impact of sexual violence**, portraying the profound personal and social ruin inflicted upon the victim. Tamar's anguished cry, "whither shall I cause my shame to go?", vividly conveys the deep, pervasive dishonor and the complete loss of her future in a culture where a woman's value and security were intrinsically tied to her purity and marital status. Secondly, the verse underscores **the far-reaching consequences of sin**, particularly unbridled lust and moral depravity within leadership. Amnon's actions are immediately labeled as foolish and morally reprehensible, not only destroying Tamar's life but also bringing immense shame upon David's house and ultimately leading to his own death, illustrating the principle that sin has destructive and often fatal ripple effects ([Galatians 6:7](/galatians/6-7 "Galatians 6:7 - Sowing and Reaping")). Thirdly, Tamar's declaration that Amnon "shalt be as one of the fools in Israel" points to the biblical concept of **moral foolishness**, which is not merely a lack of intelligence but a profound spiritual depravity characterized by wicked actions and a deliberate disregard for God's ways and righteousness ([Psalm 14:1](/psalms/14-1 "Psalm 14:1 - The Fool Who Says There Is No God")). Finally, Tamar's desperate suggestion, "speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee," reveals her **desperate plea for justice or mitigation**, however imperfect. She appeals to the possibility of a forced marriage, which, while culturally unlikely after such a defilement by a half-brother, would have offered her some measure of legal status and protection compared to being cast out as utterly defiled, emphasizing her dire plight and lack of other honorable options.

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS

#### Key Word Analysis
* **Shame (Hebrew, _cherpâh'_):** The Hebrew word _cherpâh_ (H2781) denotes contumely, disgrace, rebuke, or reproach. It refers not merely to an internal feeling of embarrassment but to a public state of dishonor, humiliation, and ruin. For Tamar, this "shame" was total, affecting her social standing, her future prospects, and her very identity. It was an indelible mark of defilement that, in her society, could not be easily removed or hidden, signifying the complete destruction of her honor and marriageability.
* **Fools (Hebrew, _nâbâl'_):** The Hebrew word _nâbâl_ (H5036) is a powerful and damning term that signifies someone who is stupid, wicked, or especially impious. It describes a person who is morally corrupt, vile, and godless, rather than simply unintelligent. A _nâbâl_ is someone who acts despicably, brings disgrace upon themselves and others, and shows contempt for God's laws and moral order. Tamar's declaration is not merely an insult but a profound prophetic indictment of Amnon's character, exposing his spiritual depravity and foretelling the disgrace he has brought upon himself and the royal house.
* **Withhold (Hebrew, _mânaʻ'_):** The Hebrew verb _mânaʻ_ (H4513) means to debar (negatively or positively) from benefit or injury; to deny, keep back, refrain, restrain, or withhold. In Tamar's plea, "he will not withhold me from thee," she is asserting that King David, as the ultimate authority and enforcer of Mosaic Law, would not deny or refuse to compel Amnon to marry her, thereby providing her with the legal and social protection prescribed for a rape victim, however undesirable such a union would be.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go?"**: This is a poignant rhetorical question that expresses Tamar's utter despair and the complete ruin of her life. She is not just personally ashamed but publicly disgraced, with no place to hide her defilement or escape its societal consequences. Her future, particularly her marriage prospects and social standing, is irrevocably destroyed, leaving her with no honorable path forward in ancient Israelite society. The question underscores the inescapable and pervasive nature of the dishonor she now carries.
* **"and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel."**: Tamar turns from her own plight to deliver a powerful and direct indictment of Amnon. She pronounces him a "fool" (_nâbâl_), signifying not a lack of intellect but a profound moral and spiritual depravity. His actions mark him as one who acts wickedly, disregarding social norms, family bonds, and divine law, thereby bringing disgrace upon himself and the entire nation. This is a prophetic declaration of the ignominy that will follow his heinous act, foreshadowing the judgment that awaits him.
* **"Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee."**: In a desperate attempt to mitigate her catastrophic situation, Tamar proposes a forced marriage. She appeals to Amnon to speak to King David, knowing that the king, under Mosaic Law (e.g., [Deuteronomy 22:28-29](/deuteronomy/22-28-29 "Deuteronomy 22:28-29 - Law concerning rape and marriage")), would likely compel Amnon to marry her. While such a marriage would be born of trauma and unlikely to be happy, it would at least grant her some legal status, protection, and a measure of honor, preventing her from becoming a total outcast. This plea highlights her utter vulnerability and the desperate measures she is forced to consider in the face of complete social annihilation.

#### Literary Devices
The verse is rich with **Pathos**, evoking deep sympathy for Tamar's plight through her anguished rhetorical question, "whither shall I cause my shame to go?" This question functions as a powerful **Rhetorical Question**, emphasizing the utter hopelessness and irreparable damage she faces, as there is no place for her shame to "go" or be removed in her society. Her declaration to Amnon, "thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel," serves as a potent **Prophetic Indictment** and **Foreshadowing**, condemning his character and predicting the disgrace and eventual demise that will befall him. There is also a tragic **Irony** in Tamar's final plea for marriage; what would normally be a legitimate and honorable union is here proposed as a desperate, last-resort attempt to salvage a shred of her life after a horrific violation, underscoring the depth of Amnon's sin and the profound brokenness within David's household.

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
2 Samuel 13:13 serves as a stark biblical testament to the profound and devastating consequences of unbridled lust, moral depravity, and the tragic ripple effects of sin within families and communities. It exposes the brokenness of humanity and the urgent need for divine justice and intervention. The defilement of Tamar highlights God's abhorrence of sexual violence and the deep value He places on human dignity and purity. The narrative underscores that sin, especially that which violates the vulnerable, brings not only personal ruin but also societal disgrace and divine judgment. It reminds us that true "foolishness" in the biblical sense is not a lack of intellect but a deliberate rejection of God's ways and moral order, leading to destructive outcomes that often extend beyond the initial act.

* [Deuteronomy 22:28-29](/deuteronomy/22-28-29 "Deuteronomy 22:28-29 - Law regarding rape and marriage")
* [Proverbs 6:27-29](/proverbs/6-27-29 "Proverbs 6:27-29 - Consequences of Adultery and Lust")
* [Romans 1:28-32](/romans/1-28-32 "Romans 1:28-32 - God's Judgment on Depravity")

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Tamar's cry in 2 Samuel 13:13 echoes through the centuries, reminding us of the enduring pain and injustice of sexual violence and the profound impact of sin on individuals and families. For believers today, this passage serves as a sobering call to uphold sexual purity, to champion justice for the vulnerable, and to confront the destructive nature of unbridled lust and selfish ambition within our own hearts and communities. It challenges us to reflect on the ways our actions, or inactions, can contribute to or alleviate suffering within our spheres of influence. We are reminded that true honor comes not from worldly status or power but from living righteously before God and caring sacrificially for one another, especially those who have been marginalized or harmed. The church, as the body of Christ, is called to be a safe haven for victims, a prophetic voice for justice, and a community where accountability for sin is upheld with both truth and grace, seeking to heal the brokenhearted and restore dignity to those who have been shamed.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **How does this passage challenge our understanding of justice and accountability for sin, especially sexual violence, in both biblical times and today?**
* **What is the role of the community (or church) in supporting victims of trauma and upholding biblical standards of purity and righteousness?**
* **In what ways might we, like Amnon, be tempted to act "foolishly" by prioritizing selfish desires over God's commands and the well-being of others?**

### FAQ

**Why did Tamar suggest Amnon marry her after he raped her?**

Answer: Tamar's suggestion for Amnon to "speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee" was a desperate and culturally informed plea to mitigate the catastrophic consequences of his actions. In ancient Israelite society, a woman's defilement, especially by rape, rendered her unmarriageable and socially ruined, bringing immense shame upon her and her family. However, Mosaic Law, as seen in [Deuteronomy 22:28-29](/deuteronomy/22-28-29 "Deuteronomy 22:28-29 - Law concerning rape and forced marriage"), stipulated that if a man raped a virgin who was not betrothed, he was obligated to marry her and could never divorce her. While this would not undo the trauma, it would grant Tamar some legal status, protection, and a measure of honor, preventing her from becoming a complete outcast. Her plea was a desperate attempt to salvage some semblance of a future, however bleak, by appealing to the king's authority to enforce this law, recognizing it as the only potential path to avoid total social annihilation.

**What does "fools in Israel" mean in this context?**

Answer: When Tamar declares that Amnon "shalt be as one of the fools in Israel," she is using the Hebrew term _nâbâl_ (H5036), which carries a far deeper meaning than mere intellectual deficiency. In biblical wisdom literature, a _nâbâl_ is not simply unintelligent but is morally corrupt, wicked, and godless. This "fool" is someone who acts despicably, shows contempt for God's laws and moral order, and brings disgrace upon themselves and others ([Psalm 14:1](/psalms/14-1 "Psalm 14:1 - The Fool Who Says There Is No God")). Tamar's indictment of Amnon as a _nâbâl_ is therefore a profound moral condemnation, exposing his spiritual depravity and highlighting that his actions were not just a mistake but a wicked act stemming from a morally bankrupt character. It's a prophetic declaration of the shame and ignominy that will justly befall him.

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
The tragic narrative of Tamar and Amnon in 2 Samuel 13:13, with its raw portrayal of sin, shame, and brokenness, finds its ultimate resolution and hope in Jesus Christ. Tamar's cry, "whither shall I cause my shame to go?", resonates with the universal human experience of sin's defilement and the desperate search for true honor and restoration. In a world broken by sin, where injustice and violence inflict deep wounds, Jesus enters as the ultimate Healer and Redeemer. He is the [Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world](/john/1-29 "John 1:29 - Jesus, the Lamb of God"), bearing our shame and reproach upon the cross, enabling us to have our defilement cleansed and our honor restored. Unlike David, who failed to bring justice to his household, Christ is the righteous King who perfectly upholds justice, defends the vulnerable, and offers true refuge to the brokenhearted ([Matthew 11:28-30](/matthew/11-28-30 "Matthew 11:28-30 - Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden")). He is the one who, "for the joy set before him, endured the cross, despising the shame" ([Hebrews 12:2](/hebrews/12-2 "Hebrews 12:2 - Jesus endured the cross, despising the shame")), so that we might be clothed in His righteousness and stand unashamed before God. In Christ, the "fools" of Israel, those morally depraved by sin, can find forgiveness and transformation, as He offers a new heart and a right spirit. His coming promises a future where God will "wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away" ([Revelation 21:4](/rev/21-4 "Revelation 21:4 - God will wipe away every tear")), a future where the shame and sorrow of this fallen world are finally eradicated by His glorious presence and perfect reign.

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.

Cross-References

Genesis 19:8

Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as [is] good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof.

Judges 19:24

Behold, [here is] my daughter a maiden, and his concubine; them I will bring out now, and humble ye them, and do with them what seemeth good unto you: but unto this man do not so vile a thing.

Genesis 20:12

And yet indeed [she is] my sister; she [is] the daughter of my father, but not the daughter of my mother; and she became my wife.