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Matthew Henry
From his Commentary on the Whole Bible. Henry comments on passages, not single verses — this entry covers 2 Samuel 13:1–20. His four-level outline is real structure in the source text, so it is rendered as structure.
We have here a particular account of the abominable wickedness of Amnon in ravishing his sister, a subject not fit to be enlarged upon nor indeed to be mentioned without blushing, that ever any man should be so vile, especially that a son of David should be so. Amnon's character, we have reason to think, was bad in other things; if he had not forsaken God, he would never have been given up to these vile affections. Godly parents have often been afflicted with wicked children; grace does not run in the blood, but corruption does. We do not find that David's children imitated him in his devotion; but his false steps they trod in, and in those did much worse, and repented not. Parents know not how fatal the consequences may be if in any instance they give their children bad examples. Observe the steps of Amnon's sin.
I.The devil, as an unclean spirit, put it into his heart to lust after his sister Tamar.
Beauty is a snare to many; it was so to her. She was fair, and therefore Amnon coveted her, Sa2 13:1. Those that are peculiarly handsome have no reason, on that account, to be proud, but great reason to stand upon their watch. Amnon's lust was,
1.Unnatural in itself, to lust after his sister, which even natural conscience startles at and cannot think of without horror. Such a spirit of contradiction there is in man's corrupt nature that still it desires forbidden fruit, and the more strongly it is forbidden the more greedily it is desired. Can he entertain the thought of betraying that virtue and honour of which, as a brother, he ought to have been the protector? But what wickedness so vile as not to find admittance into an unsanctified unguarded heart, left to itself?
2.It was very uneasy to him. He was so vexed that he could not gain an opportunity to solicit her chastity (for innocent converse with her was not denied him) that he fell sick, Sa2 13:2. Fleshly lusts are their own punishment, and not only war against the soul, but against the body too, and are the rottenness of the bones. See what a hard master sinners serve, and how heavy his yoke is.
II.The devil, as a subtle serpent, put it into his head how to compass this wicked design.
Amnon had a friend (so he called him, but he was really an enemy to him), a kinsman, that had in him more of David's blood (for he was his nephew) than of David's spirit, for he was a subtle man, cunning to carry on any bad design, especially an intrigue of this nature, Sa2 13:3.
1.He took notice that Amnon looked ill, and, being a subtle man, concluded that he was love-sick (Sa2 13:4), and asks him, "Why art thou, being the king's son, lean from day to day? Why dost thou pine, being the king's eldest son, and heir to the crown. Being the king's son," (1.) "Thou hast the pleasures of the court to divert thee; take those pleasures then, and with them drive away the sorrow, whatever it is." Content and comfort are not always to be found in royal palaces. With much more reason may we ask dejected and disconsolate saints why they, who are the children of the King of kings and heirs of the crown of life, are thus lean from day to day. (2.) "Thou hast the power of a prince to command what thou wantest and wishest for; use that power therefore, and gratify thyself. Pine not away for that which, lawful or unlawful, thou, being the king's son, mayest have. Quicquid libet licet - Your will is law." Thus Jezebel to Ahab in a like case (Kg1 21:7), Dost not thou govern Israel? The abuse of power is the most dangerous temptation of the great.
2.Amnon having the impudence to own his wicked lust, miscalling it love (I love Tamar), Jonadab put him in a way to compass his design, Sa2 13:5. Had he been what he pretended (Amnon's friend), he would have startled at the mention of such horrid wickedness, would have laid before him the evil of it, what an offence it was to God and what a wrong to his own soul to entertain such a vile thought, of what fatal consequence it would be to him to cherish and prosecute it; he would have used his subtlety to divert Amnon from it, by recommending some other person to him, whom he might lawfully marry. But he seems not at all surprised at it, objects not either the unlawfulness or the difficulty, the reproach or so much as his father's displeasure, but puts him in the way to get Tamar to his bed-side, and then he might do as he pleased. Note, The case of those is very miserable whose friends, instead of admonishing and reproving them, flatter them and forward them in their sinful ways, and are their counsellors and contrivers to do wickedly. Amnon is already sick, but goes about; he must take upon him to be so ill (and his thin looks will give colour enough to the pretence) as not to be able to get up, and to have no appetite to any thing but just that which pleases his fancy. Dainty meat is abhorred, Job 33:20. The best dish from the king's table cannot please him; but, if he can eat any thing, it must be from his sister Tamar's fair hand. This is what he is advised to.
3.Amnon followed these directions, and thus got Tamar within his reach: He made himself sick, Sa2 13:6. Thus he lieth in wait secretly, as a lion in his den, to catch the poor, and to draw them into his net, Psa 10:8-10. David was always fond of his children, and concerned if any thing ailed them; he no sooner hears that Amnon is sick than he comes himself to visit him. Let parents learn hence to be tender of their children and compassionate towards them. The sick child commonly the mother comforteth (Isa 66:13), but let not the father be unconcerned. We may suppose that when David came to see his sick son he gave him good counsel to make a right use of his affliction, and prayed with him, which yet did not alter his wicked purpose. At parting, the indulgent father asks, "Is there any thing thou hast a mind to, that I can procure for thee?" "Yes, Sir," says the dissembling son, "my stomach is weak, and I know not of any thing I can eat, unless it be a cake of my sister Tamar's making, and I cannot be satisfied that it is so unless I see her make it, and it will do me the more good if I eat it at her hand." David saw no reason to suspect any mischief intended. God hid his heart from understanding in this matter. He therefore immediately orders Tamar to go and attend her sick brother, Sa2 13:7. He does it very innocently, but afterwards, no doubt, reflected upon it with great regret. Tamar as innocently goes to her brother's chamber, neither dreading any abuse (why should she from a brother, a sick brother?) nor disdaining, in obedience to her father and love to her brother (though but her half-brother), to be his nurse, Sa2 13:8, Sa2 13:9. Though she was a king's daughter, a great beauty (Sa2 13:1), and well dressed (Sa2 13:18), yet she did not think it below her to knead cakes and bake them, nor would she have done this now if she had not been used to it. Good house-wifery is not a thing below the greatest ladies, nor ought they to think it a disparagement to them. The virtuous woman, whose husband sits among the elders, yet works willingly with her hands, Pro 31:13. Modern ages have not been destitute of such instances, nor is it so unfashionable as some would make it. Preparing for the sick should be more the care and delight of the ladies than preparing for the nice, charity more than curiosity.
4.Having got her to him, he contrives to have her alone; for the adulterer (much more so vile an adulterer as this) is in care that no eye see him, Job 24:15. The meat is ready, but he cannot eat while he is looked at by those about him; they must all be turned out, Sa2 13:9. The sick must be humoured, and think they have a privilege to command. Tamar is willing to humour him; her chaste and virtuous soul has not the least thought of that which his polluted breast is full of; and therefore she makes no scruple of being alone with him in the inner chamber, Sa2 13:10. And now the mask is thrown off, the meat is thrown by, and the wicked wretch calls her sister, and yet impudently courts her to come and lie with him, Sa2 13:11. It was a base affront to her virtue to think it possible to persuade her to consent to such wickedness when he knew her behaviour to be always exemplarily modest and virtuous. But it is common for those that live in uncleanness to think others such as themselves, at least tinder to their sparks.
III.The devil, as a strong tempter, deafens his ear to all the reasonings with which she resisted his assaults and would have persuaded him to desist. We may well imagine what a surprise and terror it was to the young lady to be thus attacked, how she blushed and how she trembled; yet, in this great confusion, nothing could be said more pertinently, nor with greater strength of argument, than what she said to him.
1.She calls him brother, reminding him of the nearness of the relation, which made it unlawful for him to marry her, much more to debauch her. It was expressly forbidden (Lev 18:9) under a severe penalty, Lev 20:17. Great care must be taken lest the love that should be among relations degenerate into lust.
2.She entreats him not to force her, which intimates that she would never consent to it in any degree; and what satisfaction could he take in offering violence?
3.She lays before him the great wickedness of it. It is folly; all sin is so, especially uncleanness. It is wickedness of the worst kind. Such abominations ought not to be committed in Israel, among the professing people of God, that have better statutes than the heathen have. We are Israelites; if we do such things, we are more inexcusable than others, and our condemnation will be more intolerable, for we reproach the Lord, and that worthy name by which we are called.
4.She represents to him the shame of it, which perhaps might influence him more than the sin of it: "For my part, whither shall I cause my shame to go? If it should be concealed, yet I shall blush to think of it as long as I live; and, if ever it be known, how shall I be able to look any of my friends in the face? For thy part, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel," that is, "Thou wilt be looked upon as an atrocious debauchee, the worst of men; thou wilt lose thy interest in the esteem of all that are wise and good, and so wilt be set aside as unfit to rule, though the first-born; for Israel will never submit to the government of such a fool." Prospect of shame, especially everlasting shame, should deter us from sin.
5.To divert him from his wicked purpose at this time, and (if possible) to get clear of him, she intimates to him that probably the king, rather than he should die for love of her, would dispense with the divine law and let him marry her: not as if she thought he had such a dispensing power, or would pretend to it; but she was confident that, upon notice given to the king by himself of this wicked desire, which he would scarcely have believed from any one else, he would take an effectual course to protect her from him. But all her arts and all her arguments availed not. His proud spirit cannot bear a denial; but her comfort, and honour, and all that was dear to her, must be sacrificed to his brutish and outrageous lust, Sa2 13:14. It is to be feared that Amnon, though young, had long lived a lewd life, which his father either knew not or punished not; for a man could not, of a sudden, arrive at such a pitch of wickedness as this. But is this his love to Tamar? Is this the recompence he gives her for her readiness to attend him in his sickness? Will he deal with his sister as with a harlot? Base villain! God deliver all that are modest and virtuous from such wicked and unreasonable men.
IV.The devil, as a tormentor and betrayer, immediately turns his love of her into hatred (Sa2 13:15):
He hated her with great hatred, greatly, so it is in the margin, and grew as outrageous in his malice as he had been in his lust.
1.He basely turned her out of doors by force; nay, as if he now disdained to touch her with his own hands, he ordered his servant to pull her out and bolt the door after her, Sa2 13:17. Now,
(1.)The innocent injured lady had reason to resent this as a great affront, and in some respects (as she says, Sa2 13:16) worse than the former; for nothing could have been done more barbarous and ill-natured, or more disgraceful to her. Had he taken care to conceal what was done, her honour would have been lost to herself only. Had he gone down on his knees and begged her pardon, it might have been some little reparation. Had he given her time to compose herself after the horrid confusion she was put into, she might have kept her countenance when she went out, and so have kept her counsel. But to dismiss her thus hurried, thus rudely, as if she had done some wicked thing, obliged her, in her own defence, to proclaim the wrong that had been done her.
(2.)We may learn from it both the malignity of sin (unbridled passions are as bad as unbridled appetites) and the mischievous consequences of sin (at last, it bites like a serpent); for here we find,
[1.]That sins, sweet in the commission, afterwards become odious and painful, and the sinner's own conscience makes them so to himself. Amnon hated Tamar because she would not consent to his wickedness, and so take part of the blame upon herself, but to the last resisted it, and reasoned against it, and so threw all the blame upon him. Had he hated the sin, and loathed himself for it, we might have hoped he was penitent. Godly sorrow worketh indignation, Co2 7:11. But to hate the person he had abused showed that his conscience was terrified, but his heart not at all humbled. See what deceitful pleasures those of the flesh are, how soon they pass away, and turn into loathing; see Eze 23:17.
[2.]That sins, secret in the commission, afterwards become open and public, and the sinners themselves often make them so. Their own tongues fall upon them. The Jewish doctors say that, upon the occasion of this wickedness of Amnon, a law was made that a young man and a young woman should never be alone together; for, said they, if the king's daughter be so used, what will become of the children of private men?
2.We must now leave the criminal to the terrors of his own guilty conscience, and enquire what becomes of the poor victim.
(1.)She bitterly lamented the injury she had received, as it was a stain to her honour, though no real blemish to her virtue. She tore her fine clothes in token of her grief, and put ashes upon her head, to deform herself, loathing her own beauty and ornaments, because they had occasioned Amnon's unlawful love; and she went on crying for another's sin, Sa2 13:19.
(2.)She retired to her brother Absalom's house, because he was her own brother, and there she lived in solitude and sorrow, in token of her modesty and detestation of uncleanness. Absalom spoke kindly to her, bade her pass by the injury for the present, designing himself to revenge it, Sa2 13:20. It should seem by Absalom's question (Has Amnon been with thee?) that Amnon was notorious for such lewd practices, so that it was dangerous for a modest woman to be with him; this Absalom might know, and yet Tamar be wholly ignorant of it.
Historical interpretation
Two Centuries of Reception
2 surviving comments on this verse. Each one is dated, so this reads as a timeline rather than a list.
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As if to show that near relationship is no safeguard, Amnon burned with illicit passion for his sister Tamar.
No man shall rely upon chastity in the past, for none whose hearts are tainted by women can become holier than David or wiser than Solomon. That none may assume that his chastity is safe in the presence of a woman related to him, let him remember how Tamar was corrupted by her brother Amnon when he pretended to be ill. Accordingly, both monks and nuns should live so chastely that they may have a good report, not only before God but also before people, and may leave to those who follow an example of sanctity.
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Summary
In 2 Samuel 13:13, Tamar, having endured a horrific violation by her half-brother Amnon, voices a desperate and profound lament. Her words articulate the irreparable shame and ruin inflicted upon her future, while simultaneously delivering a sharp indictment of Amnon's moral depravity. In a final, desperate attempt to salvage some semblance of a life, she proposes a marriage to him, appealing to the king's authority, a plea that tragically goes unheeded, setting the stage for further tragedy within David's royal household.
Context
Literary Context
This verse marks a pivotal and harrowing moment within the tragic narrative of King David's family, immediately following Amnon's heinous rape of his half-sister Tamar. The preceding verses meticulously detail Amnon's deceptive and manipulative ploy, orchestrated by his cunning cousin Jonadab, to lure Tamar to his private chambers under the false pretense of illness (2 Samuel 13:1-7). Tamar's words in this verse are her anguished, immediate response to Amnon's subsequent cruel dismissal of her, highlighting the profound personal and societal devastation she faces. This defilement of David's daughter by his own son ignites a catastrophic chain of escalating violence and rebellion within the royal family, ultimately leading to Absalom's vengeful murder of Amnon two years later (2 Samuel 13:28-29) and his subsequent rebellion against King David (2 Samuel 15). The verse serves as a critical turning point, exposing the moral decay within David's house that would lead to its unraveling.
Historical & Cultural Context
In ancient Israelite society, a woman's honor, social standing, and marriage prospects were inextricably linked to her virginity and the vigilant protection of her family. Sexual defilement, particularly by a close relative, brought immense and often irreparable shame not only upon the individual woman but also upon her entire family. A defiled woman was typically considered unmarriageable, effectively losing her future and becoming a social outcast with no means of support. Mosaic Law provided specific provisions for such situations: a man who had seduced a virgin was permitted to marry her if her father consented and he paid the bride-price (Exodus 22:16-17), and in cases of rape, the assailant was legally obligated to marry the victim and was forbidden from ever divorcing her (Deuteronomy 22:28-29). Tamar's desperate plea to Amnon to "speak unto the king" reflects her deep understanding of these cultural norms and legal provisions, however unlikely their application after such a heinous act by a half-brother. Her appeal to the king's authority underscores the patriarchal structure where the king was the ultimate arbiter of justice and family matters, yet David's tragic inaction in this crisis would have devastating and far-reaching consequences.
Key Themes
Tamar's lament in this verse powerfully encapsulates several critical themes within the broader narrative of 2 Samuel and the Old Testament. Firstly, it highlights the devastating impact of sexual violence, portraying the profound personal and social ruin inflicted upon the victim. Tamar's anguished cry, "whither shall I cause my shame to go?", vividly conveys the deep, pervasive dishonor and the complete loss of her future in a culture where a woman's value and security were intrinsically tied to her purity and marital status. Secondly, the verse underscores the far-reaching consequences of sin, particularly unbridled lust and moral depravity within leadership. Amnon's actions are immediately labeled as foolish and morally reprehensible, not only destroying Tamar's life but also bringing immense shame upon David's house and ultimately leading to his own death, illustrating the principle that sin has destructive and often fatal ripple effects (Galatians 6:7). Thirdly, Tamar's declaration that Amnon "shalt be as one of the fools in Israel" points to the biblical concept of moral foolishness, which is not merely a lack of intelligence but a profound spiritual depravity characterized by wicked actions and a deliberate disregard for God's ways and righteousness (Psalm 14:1). Finally, Tamar's desperate suggestion, "speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee," reveals her desperate plea for justice or mitigation, however imperfect. She appeals to the possibility of a forced marriage, which, while culturally unlikely after such a defilement by a half-brother, would have offered her some measure of legal status and protection compared to being cast out as utterly defiled, emphasizing her dire plight and lack of other honorable options.
Exposition and Analysis
Key Word Analysis
The Hebrew word cherpâh (H2781) denotes contumely, disgrace, rebuke, or reproach. It refers not merely to an internal feeling of embarrassment but to a public state of dishonor, humiliation, and ruin. For Tamar, this "shame" was total, affecting her social standing, her future prospects, and her very identity. It was an indelible mark of defilement that, in her society, could not be easily removed or hidden, signifying the complete destruction of her honor and marriageability.
The Hebrew word nâbâl (H5036) is a powerful and damning term that signifies someone who is stupid, wicked, or especially impious. It describes a person who is morally corrupt, vile, and godless, rather than simply unintelligent. A nâbâl is someone who acts despicably, brings disgrace upon themselves and others, and shows contempt for God's laws and moral order. Tamar's declaration is not merely an insult but a profound prophetic indictment of Amnon's character, exposing his spiritual depravity and foretelling the disgrace he has brought upon himself and the royal house.
The Hebrew verb mânaʻ (H4513) means to debar (negatively or positively) from benefit or injury; to deny, keep back, refrain, restrain, or withhold. In Tamar's plea, "he will not withhold me from thee," she is asserting that King David, as the ultimate authority and enforcer of Mosaic Law, would not deny or refuse to compel Amnon to marry her, thereby providing her with the legal and social protection prescribed for a rape victim, however undesirable such a union would be.
Verse Breakdown
"And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go?"
This is a poignant rhetorical question that expresses Tamar's utter despair and the complete ruin of her life. She is not just personally ashamed but publicly disgraced, with no place to hide her defilement or escape its societal consequences. Her future, particularly her marriage prospects and social standing, is irrevocably destroyed, leaving her with no honorable path forward in ancient Israelite society. The question underscores the inescapable and pervasive nature of the dishonor she now carries.
"and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel."
Tamar turns from her own plight to deliver a powerful and direct indictment of Amnon. She pronounces him a "fool" (nâbâl), signifying not a lack of intellect but a profound moral and spiritual depravity. His actions mark him as one who acts wickedly, disregarding social norms, family bonds, and divine law, thereby bringing disgrace upon himself and the entire nation. This is a prophetic declaration of the ignominy that will follow his heinous act, foreshadowing the judgment that awaits him.
"Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee."
In a desperate attempt to mitigate her catastrophic situation, Tamar proposes a forced marriage. She appeals to Amnon to speak to King David, knowing that the king, under Mosaic Law (e.g., Deuteronomy 22:28-29), would likely compel Amnon to marry her. While such a marriage would be born of trauma and unlikely to be happy, it would at least grant her some legal status, protection, and a measure of honor, preventing her from becoming a total outcast. This plea highlights her utter vulnerability and the desperate measures she is forced to consider in the face of complete social annihilation.
Literary Devices
The verse is rich with Pathos, evoking deep sympathy for Tamar's plight through her anguished rhetorical question, "whither shall I cause my shame to go?" This question functions as a powerful Rhetorical Question, emphasizing the utter hopelessness and irreparable damage she faces, as there is no place for her shame to "go" or be removed in her society. Her declaration to Amnon, "thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel," serves as a potent Prophetic Indictment and Foreshadowing, condemning his character and predicting the disgrace and eventual demise that will befall him. There is also a tragic Irony in Tamar's final plea for marriage; what would normally be a legitimate and honorable union is here proposed as a desperate, last-resort attempt to salvage a shred of her life after a horrific violation, underscoring the depth of Amnon's sin and the profound brokenness within David's household.
Theological and Thematic Connections
2 Samuel 13:13 serves as a stark biblical testament to the profound and devastating consequences of unbridled lust, moral depravity, and the tragic ripple effects of sin within families and communities. It exposes the brokenness of humanity and the urgent need for divine justice and intervention. The defilement of Tamar highlights God's abhorrence of sexual violence and the deep value He places on human dignity and purity. The narrative underscores that sin, especially that which violates the vulnerable, brings not only personal ruin but also societal disgrace and divine judgment. It reminds us that true "foolishness" in the biblical sense is not a lack of intellect but a deliberate rejection of God's ways and moral order, leading to destructive outcomes that often extend beyond the initial act.
Reflection and Application
Tamar's cry in 2 Samuel 13:13 echoes through the centuries, reminding us of the enduring pain and injustice of sexual violence and the profound impact of sin on individuals and families. For believers today, this passage serves as a sobering call to uphold sexual purity, to champion justice for the vulnerable, and to confront the destructive nature of unbridled lust and selfish ambition within our own hearts and communities. It challenges us to reflect on the ways our actions, or inactions, can contribute to or alleviate suffering within our spheres of influence. We are reminded that true honor comes not from worldly status or power but from living righteously before God and caring sacrificially for one another, especially those who have been marginalized or harmed. The church, as the body of Christ, is called to be a safe haven for victims, a prophetic voice for justice, and a community where accountability for sin is upheld with both truth and grace, seeking to heal the brokenhearted and restore dignity to those who have been shamed.
Questions for Reflection
FAQ
Why did Tamar suggest Amnon marry her after he raped her?
Tamar's suggestion for Amnon to "speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee" was a desperate and culturally informed plea to mitigate the catastrophic consequences of his actions. In ancient Israelite society, a woman's defilement, especially by rape, rendered her unmarriageable and socially ruined, bringing immense shame upon her and her family. However, Mosaic Law, as seen in Deuteronomy 22:28-29, stipulated that if a man raped a virgin who was not betrothed, he was obligated to marry her and could never divorce her. While this would not undo the trauma, it would grant Tamar some legal status, protection, and a measure of honor, preventing her from becoming a complete outcast. Her plea was a desperate attempt to salvage some semblance of a future, however bleak, by appealing to the king's authority to enforce this law, recognizing it as the only potential path to avoid total social annihilation.
What does "fools in Israel" mean in this context?
When Tamar declares that Amnon "shalt be as one of the fools in Israel," she is using the Hebrew term nâbâl (H5036), which carries a far deeper meaning than mere intellectual deficiency. In biblical wisdom literature, a nâbâl is not simply unintelligent but is morally corrupt, wicked, and godless. This "fool" is someone who acts despicably, shows contempt for God's laws and moral order, and brings disgrace upon themselves and others (Psalm 14:1). Tamar's indictment of Amnon as a nâbâl is therefore a profound moral condemnation, exposing his spiritual depravity and highlighting that his actions were not just a mistake but a wicked act stemming from a morally bankrupt character. It's a prophetic declaration of the shame and ignominy that will justly befall him.
Christ-Centered Fulfillment
The tragic narrative of Tamar and Amnon in 2 Samuel 13:13, with its raw portrayal of sin, shame, and brokenness, finds its ultimate resolution and hope in Jesus Christ. Tamar's cry, "whither shall I cause my shame to go?", resonates with the universal human experience of sin's defilement and the desperate search for true honor and restoration. In a world broken by sin, where injustice and violence inflict deep wounds, Jesus enters as the ultimate Healer and Redeemer. He is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world, bearing our shame and reproach upon the cross, enabling us to have our defilement cleansed and our honor restored. Unlike David, who failed to bring justice to his household, Christ is the righteous King who perfectly upholds justice, defends the vulnerable, and offers true refuge to the brokenhearted (Matthew 11:28-30). He is the one who, "for the joy set before him, endured the cross, despising the shame" (Hebrews 12:2), so that we might be clothed in His righteousness and stand unashamed before God. In Christ, the "fools" of Israel, those morally depraved by sin, can find forgiveness and transformation, as He offers a new heart and a right spirit. His coming promises a future where God will "wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away" (Revelation 21:4), a future where the shame and sorrow of this fallen world are finally eradicated by His glorious presence and perfect reign.