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Commentary on 2 Samuel 13 verses 1–20
We have here a particular account of the abominable wickedness of Amnon in ravishing his sister, a subject not fit to be enlarged upon nor indeed to be mentioned without blushing, that ever any man should be so vile, especially that a son of David should be so. Amnon's character, we have reason to think, was bad in other things; if he had not forsaken God, he would never have been given up to these vile affections. Godly parents have often been afflicted with wicked children; grace does not run in the blood, but corruption does. We do not find that David's children imitated him in his devotion; but his false steps they trod in, and in those did much worse, and repented not. Parents know not how fatal the consequences may be if in any instance they give their children bad examples. Observe the steps of Amnon's sin.
I. The devil, as an unclean spirit, put it into his heart to lust after his sister Tamar. Beauty is a snare to many; it was so to her. She was fair, and therefore Amnon coveted her, Sa2 13:1. Those that are peculiarly handsome have no reason, on that account, to be proud, but great reason to stand upon their watch. Amnon's lust was, 1. Unnatural in itself, to lust after his sister, which even natural conscience startles at and cannot think of without horror. Such a spirit of contradiction there is in man's corrupt nature that still it desires forbidden fruit, and the more strongly it is forbidden the more greedily it is desired. Can he entertain the thought of betraying that virtue and honour of which, as a brother, he ought to have been the protector? But what wickedness so vile as not to find admittance into an unsanctified unguarded heart, left to itself? 2. It was very uneasy to him. He was so vexed that he could not gain an opportunity to solicit her chastity (for innocent converse with her was not denied him) that he fell sick, Sa2 13:2. Fleshly lusts are their own punishment, and not only war against the soul, but against the body too, and are the rottenness of the bones. See what a hard master sinners serve, and how heavy his yoke is.
II. The devil, as a subtle serpent, put it into his head how to compass this wicked design. Amnon had a friend (so he called him, but he was really an enemy to him), a kinsman, that had in him more of David's blood (for he was his nephew) than of David's spirit, for he was a subtle man, cunning to carry on any bad design, especially an intrigue of this nature, Sa2 13:3.
1.He took notice that Amnon looked ill, and, being a subtle man, concluded that he was love-sick (Sa2 13:4), and asks him, "Why art thou, being the king's son, lean from day to day? Why dost thou pine, being the king's eldest son, and heir to the crown. Being the king's son," (1.) "Thou hast the pleasures of the court to divert thee; take those pleasures then, and with them drive away the sorrow, whatever it is." Content and comfort are not always to be found in royal palaces. With much more reason may we ask dejected and disconsolate saints why they, who are the children of the King of kings and heirs of the crown of life, are thus lean from day to day. (2.) "Thou hast the power of a prince to command what thou wantest and wishest for; use that power therefore, and gratify thyself. Pine not away for that which, lawful or unlawful, thou, being the king's son, mayest have. Quicquid libet licet - Your will is law." Thus Jezebel to Ahab in a like case (Kg1 21:7), Dost not thou govern Israel? The abuse of power is the most dangerous temptation of the great.
2.Amnon having the impudence to own his wicked lust, miscalling it love (I love Tamar), Jonadab put him in a way to compass his design, Sa2 13:5. Had he been what he pretended (Amnon's friend), he would have startled at the mention of such horrid wickedness, would have laid before him the evil of it, what an offence it was to God and what a wrong to his own soul to entertain such a vile thought, of what fatal consequence it would be to him to cherish and prosecute it; he would have used his subtlety to divert Amnon from it, by recommending some other person to him, whom he might lawfully marry. But he seems not at all surprised at it, objects not either the unlawfulness or the difficulty, the reproach or so much as his father's displeasure, but puts him in the way to get Tamar to his bed-side, and then he might do as he pleased. Note, The case of those is very miserable whose friends, instead of admonishing and reproving them, flatter them and forward them in their sinful ways, and are their counsellors and contrivers to do wickedly. Amnon is already sick, but goes about; he must take upon him to be so ill (and his thin looks will give colour enough to the pretence) as not to be able to get up, and to have no appetite to any thing but just that which pleases his fancy. Dainty meat is abhorred, Job 33:20. The best dish from the king's table cannot please him; but, if he can eat any thing, it must be from his sister Tamar's fair hand. This is what he is advised to.
3.Amnon followed these directions, and thus got Tamar within his reach: He made himself sick, Sa2 13:6. Thus he lieth in wait secretly, as a lion in his den, to catch the poor, and to draw them into his net, Psa 10:8-10. David was always fond of his children, and concerned if any thing ailed them; he no sooner hears that Amnon is sick than he comes himself to visit him. Let parents learn hence to be tender of their children and compassionate towards them. The sick child commonly the mother comforteth (Isa 66:13), but let not the father be unconcerned. We may suppose that when David came to see his sick son he gave him good counsel to make a right use of his affliction, and prayed with him, which yet did not alter his wicked purpose. At parting, the indulgent father asks, "Is there any thing thou hast a mind to, that I can procure for thee?" "Yes, Sir," says the dissembling son, "my stomach is weak, and I know not of any thing I can eat, unless it be a cake of my sister Tamar's making, and I cannot be satisfied that it is so unless I see her make it, and it will do me the more good if I eat it at her hand." David saw no reason to suspect any mischief intended. God hid his heart from understanding in this matter. He therefore immediately orders Tamar to go and attend her sick brother, Sa2 13:7. He does it very innocently, but afterwards, no doubt, reflected upon it with great regret. Tamar as innocently goes to her brother's chamber, neither dreading any abuse (why should she from a brother, a sick brother?) nor disdaining, in obedience to her father and love to her brother (though but her half-brother), to be his nurse, Sa2 13:8, Sa2 13:9. Though she was a king's daughter, a great beauty (Sa2 13:1), and well dressed (Sa2 13:18), yet she did not think it below her to knead cakes and bake them, nor would she have done this now if she had not been used to it. Good house-wifery is not a thing below the greatest ladies, nor ought they to think it a disparagement to them. The virtuous woman, whose husband sits among the elders, yet works willingly with her hands, Pro 31:13. Modern ages have not been destitute of such instances, nor is it so unfashionable as some would make it. Preparing for the sick should be more the care and delight of the ladies than preparing for the nice, charity more than curiosity.
4.Having got her to him, he contrives to have her alone; for the adulterer (much more so vile an adulterer as this) is in care that no eye see him, Job 24:15. The meat is ready, but he cannot eat while he is looked at by those about him; they must all be turned out, Sa2 13:9. The sick must be humoured, and think they have a privilege to command. Tamar is willing to humour him; her chaste and virtuous soul has not the least thought of that which his polluted breast is full of; and therefore she makes no scruple of being alone with him in the inner chamber, Sa2 13:10. And now the mask is thrown off, the meat is thrown by, and the wicked wretch calls her sister, and yet impudently courts her to come and lie with him, Sa2 13:11. It was a base affront to her virtue to think it possible to persuade her to consent to such wickedness when he knew her behaviour to be always exemplarily modest and virtuous. But it is common for those that live in uncleanness to think others such as themselves, at least tinder to their sparks.
III. The devil, as a strong tempter, deafens his ear to all the reasonings with which she resisted his assaults and would have persuaded him to desist. We may well imagine what a surprise and terror it was to the young lady to be thus attacked, how she blushed and how she trembled; yet, in this great confusion, nothing could be said more pertinently, nor with greater strength of argument, than what she said to him. 1. She calls him brother, reminding him of the nearness of the relation, which made it unlawful for him to marry her, much more to debauch her. It was expressly forbidden (Lev 18:9) under a severe penalty, Lev 20:17. Great care must be taken lest the love that should be among relations degenerate into lust. 2. She entreats him not to force her, which intimates that she would never consent to it in any degree; and what satisfaction could he take in offering violence? 3. She lays before him the great wickedness of it. It is folly; all sin is so, especially uncleanness. It is wickedness of the worst kind. Such abominations ought not to be committed in Israel, among the professing people of God, that have better statutes than the heathen have. We are Israelites; if we do such things, we are more inexcusable than others, and our condemnation will be more intolerable, for we reproach the Lord, and that worthy name by which we are called. 4. She represents to him the shame of it, which perhaps might influence him more than the sin of it: "For my part, whither shall I cause my shame to go? If it should be concealed, yet I shall blush to think of it as long as I live; and, if ever it be known, how shall I be able to look any of my friends in the face? For thy part, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel," that is, "Thou wilt be looked upon as an atrocious debauchee, the worst of men; thou wilt lose thy interest in the esteem of all that are wise and good, and so wilt be set aside as unfit to rule, though the first-born; for Israel will never submit to the government of such a fool." Prospect of shame, especially everlasting shame, should deter us from sin. 5. To divert him from his wicked purpose at this time, and (if possible) to get clear of him, she intimates to him that probably the king, rather than he should die for love of her, would dispense with the divine law and let him marry her: not as if she thought he had such a dispensing power, or would pretend to it; but she was confident that, upon notice given to the king by himself of this wicked desire, which he would scarcely have believed from any one else, he would take an effectual course to protect her from him. But all her arts and all her arguments availed not. His proud spirit cannot bear a denial; but her comfort, and honour, and all that was dear to her, must be sacrificed to his brutish and outrageous lust, Sa2 13:14. It is to be feared that Amnon, though young, had long lived a lewd life, which his father either knew not or punished not; for a man could not, of a sudden, arrive at such a pitch of wickedness as this. But is this his love to Tamar? Is this the recompence he gives her for her readiness to attend him in his sickness? Will he deal with his sister as with a harlot? Base villain! God deliver all that are modest and virtuous from such wicked and unreasonable men.
IV. The devil, as a tormentor and betrayer, immediately turns his love of her into hatred (Sa2 13:15): He hated her with great hatred, greatly, so it is in the margin, and grew as outrageous in his malice as he had been in his lust.
1.He basely turned her out of doors by force; nay, as if he now disdained to touch her with his own hands, he ordered his servant to pull her out and bolt the door after her, Sa2 13:17. Now, (1.) The innocent injured lady had reason to resent this as a great affront, and in some respects (as she says, Sa2 13:16) worse than the former; for nothing could have been done more barbarous and ill-natured, or more disgraceful to her. Had he taken care to conceal what was done, her honour would have been lost to herself only. Had he gone down on his knees and begged her pardon, it might have been some little reparation. Had he given her time to compose herself after the horrid confusion she was put into, she might have kept her countenance when she went out, and so have kept her counsel. But to dismiss her thus hurried, thus rudely, as if she had done some wicked thing, obliged her, in her own defence, to proclaim the wrong that had been done her. (2.) We may learn from it both the malignity of sin (unbridled passions are as bad as unbridled appetites) and the mischievous consequences of sin (at last, it bites like a serpent); for here we find, [1.] That sins, sweet in the commission, afterwards become odious and painful, and the sinner's own conscience makes them so to himself. Amnon hated Tamar because she would not consent to his wickedness, and so take part of the blame upon herself, but to the last resisted it, and reasoned against it, and so threw all the blame upon him. Had he hated the sin, and loathed himself for it, we might have hoped he was penitent. Godly sorrow worketh indignation, Co2 7:11. But to hate the person he had abused showed that his conscience was terrified, but his heart not at all humbled. See what deceitful pleasures those of the flesh are, how soon they pass away, and turn into loathing; see Eze 23:17. [2.] That sins, secret in the commission, afterwards become open and public, and the sinners themselves often make them so. Their own tongues fall upon them. The Jewish doctors say that, upon the occasion of this wickedness of Amnon, a law was made that a young man and a young woman should never be alone together; for, said they, if the king's daughter be so used, what will become of the children of private men?
2.We must now leave the criminal to the terrors of his own guilty conscience, and enquire what becomes of the poor victim. (1.) She bitterly lamented the injury she had received, as it was a stain to her honour, though no real blemish to her virtue. She tore her fine clothes in token of her grief, and put ashes upon her head, to deform herself, loathing her own beauty and ornaments, because they had occasioned Amnon's unlawful love; and she went on crying for another's sin, Sa2 13:19. (2.) She retired to her brother Absalom's house, because he was her own brother, and there she lived in solitude and sorrow, in token of her modesty and detestation of uncleanness. Absalom spoke kindly to her, bade her pass by the injury for the present, designing himself to revenge it, Sa2 13:20. It should seem by Absalom's question (Has Amnon been with thee?) that Amnon was notorious for such lewd practices, so that it was dangerous for a modest woman to be with him; this Absalom might know, and yet Tamar be wholly ignorant of it.
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SUMMARY
2 Samuel 13:15 captures the chilling and immediate aftermath of Amnon's sexual assault on his half-sister, Tamar, revealing a profound and perverse transformation of his intense, selfish desire into an even greater, overwhelming hatred for his victim. This pivotal verse starkly illustrates the depravity of unchecked lust, which, once sated through illicit means, discards and despises the object of its gratification, culminating in Amnon's cruel and dehumanizing command for Tamar to be expelled.
CONTEXT
Literary Context: This verse serves as a horrifying and pivotal turning point in the tragic narrative of David's family, immediately following Amnon's violent sexual assault on Tamar, meticulously detailed in 2 Samuel 13:1-14. The abrupt shift from Amnon's manipulative pursuit and feigned illness to his utter revulsion and cruel dismissal of Tamar sets the stage for the profound despair and public humiliation Tamar endures, as described in 2 Samuel 13:19-20. More broadly, this act of violence ignites the fuse for Absalom's calculated and vengeful plot against Amnon, which tragically culminates in Amnon's murder at Absalom's command in 2 Samuel 13:28-29. The entire chapter, and indeed the broader narrative of David's later reign, is a somber account of escalating sin and its devastating, intergenerational consequences, with this verse marking a critical and deeply disturbing link in that chain.
Historical & Cultural Context: In ancient Israelite society, a woman's virginity was of paramount importance, particularly for a king's daughter, as it directly impacted her honor, marriage prospects, and the family's reputation. Sexual assault was considered a heinous crime, bringing immense shame upon the victim and her entire family, often rendering the woman unmarriageable and socially ruined. The Mosaic Law stipulated severe penalties for such acts, including forced marriage with compensation or even death for the perpetrator, depending on the specific circumstances, as seen in passages like Deuteronomy 22:25-29. However, within this royal household, King David's lamentable failure to administer justice or even adequately acknowledge Tamar's suffering, highlighted in 2 Samuel 13:21, tragically underscores the corrupting influence of power and privilege, and the systemic vulnerability of women in a patriarchal society where justice could be subverted or ignored, even by those entrusted to uphold it.
Key Themes: This verse powerfully contributes to several overarching themes within the book of 2 Samuel and the broader biblical narrative. Firstly, it starkly exposes The Deceptive and Destructive Nature of Lust, demonstrating how a self-serving desire, masquerading as "love" or affection, can instantly morph into bitter contempt and hatred once its illicit gratification is achieved. Amnon's initial "love" was never genuine, self-giving affection but a consuming, selfish obsession that sought only its own satisfaction, contrasting sharply with the biblical ideal of true, covenantal love. Secondly, it illuminates the Immediate and Intense Revulsion that can follow predatory acts, a disturbing psychological paradox where the perpetrator, perhaps out of overwhelming guilt, shame, self-loathing, or a desperate desire to psychologically distance themselves from their sin, despises the victim. Thirdly, while focusing on Amnon's reaction, the verse implicitly highlights the Profound Trauma Inflicted on the Victim, as Tamar's subsequent despair, isolation, and public disgrace are a direct and agonizing consequence, illustrating the devastating, long-term impact of sexual violence. Finally, this tragic episode serves as a stark example of the Consequences of Unchecked Sin within David's Household, directly fulfilling Nathan's prophetic judgment that "the sword shall never depart from your house" (2 Samuel 12:10), setting in motion a catastrophic chain of events that leads to fratricide, rebellion, and profound suffering for David and his kingdom.
EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS
Key Word Analysis
Verse Breakdown
Literary Devices
The verse employs several powerful literary devices to convey its chilling message and the profound psychological shift in Amnon. The most prominent is Juxtaposition, which starkly contrasts "love" and "hatred" within the same sentence, highlighting the perverse and immediate reversal of Amnon's feelings. This is further amplified by Hyperbole, as the text emphasizes his hatred was "exceedingly" great and "greater than the love," underscoring the extreme and overwhelming nature of his revulsion. There is profound Irony in the fact that the very desire that drove him to such lengths transforms into its antithesis, revealing the deceptive and destructive nature of lust. Finally, the passage exhibits striking Psychological Realism, portraying the common, albeit disturbing, phenomenon of a perpetrator's post-act revulsion towards their victim, often rooted in self-loathing, guilt, or a desire to erase the evidence of their sin and distance themselves from their depraved actions.
THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
Amnon's perverse shift from intense "love" (lust) to even greater hatred for Tamar provides a stark biblical illustration of the destructive power of sin, particularly unbridled lust, and the inherent depravity of the human heart apart from divine grace. It reveals that what masquerades as passion, when rooted in selfish desire rather than genuine care and respect, is ultimately consuming, discarding, and self-destructive. This tragic episode underscores how sin, once conceived and brought forth, not only inflicts grievous harm upon the victim but also profoundly corrupts and debases the perpetrator, leaving a bitter aftermath of revulsion, shame, and further alienation from God and others. It stands as a powerful warning against the objectification of others and the insidious nature of desires unchecked by moral boundaries, divine law, and the transformative power of true love.
REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
The chilling account of Amnon's immediate and intense hatred for Tamar after his act of violence serves as a profound and timeless warning for all generations. It compels us to critically examine the nature of our own desires, distinguishing with discernment between genuine, self-giving love—which seeks the well-being and flourishing of the other—and self-serving lust, which consumes, exploits, and ultimately discards, leaving a trail of brokenness, regret, and contempt. True love, as described in Scripture, is characterized by respect, patience, kindness, and a desire to build up; lust, by contrast, is impatient, demanding, and ultimately destructive. This passage reminds us that sin, while offering fleeting gratification, invariably leads to bitterness, shame, and a desire to distance oneself from its consequences and victims. It calls us to cultivate a heart of purity, self-control, and profound respect for the inherent dignity of every individual, recognizing that unchecked desires can lead to unimaginable depravity and devastating outcomes for all involved. We are challenged to confront the insidious nature of objectification in our society and within our own hearts, striving instead to embody the selfless, Christ-like love that honors God and cherishes humanity.
Questions for Reflection
FAQ
Why did Amnon's "love" turn to such intense hatred immediately after the assault?
Answer: Amnon's "love" was never genuine affection but a selfish, consuming lust that sought only its own gratification. Once his illicit desire was violently satisfied, the object of his lust (Tamar) became a source of profound discomfort, guilt, and shame. This immediate hatred can be understood through several psychological and spiritual lenses: it could be a form of projection, where Amnon projected his own self-loathing and guilt onto Tamar; a desperate attempt to distance himself from the horrific act by despising the victim; or simply the inherent emptiness and bitterness that accompanies the sating of ungodly desires. Lust, by its very nature, is consuming and discarding; it seeks only its own fulfillment and, once achieved, often leaves behind a residue of contempt for the means by which it was fulfilled. This highlights the spiritual truth that sin, once "finished, brings forth death" (James 1:15), not just for the victim but also for the perpetrator's soul.
What does this verse teach us about the nature of true love?
Answer: This verse, by stark contrast, teaches us what true love is not. Amnon's actions demonstrate that genuine love is not selfish, does not exploit, does not disregard the well-being of the other, and certainly does not turn to hatred once its desire is met. True love, as profoundly described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, is patient, kind, does not envy or boast, is not proud or dishonoring, is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth, always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Amnon's "love" was the antithesis of these divine qualities, serving as a powerful negative example that illuminates the true, self-giving character of authentic love.
How does this event contribute to the unfolding tragedy in David's family?
Answer: The assault on Tamar and Amnon's subsequent hatred and cruel dismissal of her are a critical catalyst for the escalating tragedy within David's household, directly fulfilling Nathan's prophecy of the sword never departing from his house (2 Samuel 12:10). David's lamentable failure to justly punish Amnon for his heinous crime, despite his anger (2 Samuel 13:21), deeply incensed Absalom, Tamar's full brother. This unaddressed injustice festered for two years, culminating in Absalom's calculated and brutal revenge, where he orchestrated Amnon's murder at a feast (2 Samuel 13:28-29). This act of fratricide led to Absalom's exile, his eventual rebellion against his father (2 Samuel 15), and the subsequent civil war that brought immense suffering, division, and further moral decay to Israel, profoundly impacting David's reign and legacy.
CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
The chilling narrative of Amnon's immediate and intense hatred for Tamar, surpassing his initial "love," serves as a stark illustration of the depths of human sinfulness and the destructive power of unchecked lust. It reveals the heart's capacity for depravity, where desire, unconstrained by righteousness, leads not to fulfillment but to bitterness, contempt, and ultimate spiritual death (Romans 6:23). In profound contrast to Amnon's self-serving and ultimately destructive "love," Jesus Christ embodies true, self-sacrificial, and redemptive love. He did not come to exploit or discard, but to seek and save the lost (Luke 19:10), to heal the brokenhearted, and to set the captives free (Luke 4:18). While Amnon's "love" turned to hatred, Christ's love for humanity, even in its sinfulness and rebellion, led Him to the cross, where He bore the hatred and sin of the world, offering forgiveness and reconciliation to those who believe (Romans 5:8). He is the ultimate Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world, including the lust, violence, and hatred exemplified by Amnon. Through His Spirit, Christ empowers believers to put off the old self, which is corrupted by deceitful desires, and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness (Ephesians 4:22-24). He transforms hearts of stone into hearts of flesh, enabling His followers to love God and neighbor with the selfless, enduring love that Amnon utterly lacked (Ezekiel 36:26, Matthew 22:37-39).