Desert Fathers

A hermit was living in a cave in the Thebaid with one well-tested disciple. It was usual for him to teach the disciple during the evening and show him how the soul should progress, and after the address he used to pray and send him away to sleep. Some devout laymen who knew of the hermit’s ascetic life happened to visit him. He gave them counsel and they went away. Then he sat down after the evening prayers as usual to instruct the brother. But while he was talking, sleep overcame him. The brother waited for the hermit to wake and end with the usual prayer. But he went on sleeping and the brother went on sitting for a long time and in the end the disciple felt he must go and sleep though he was uneasy about it. So he pulled himself together, and resisted the temptation, and went back to sit by the hermit. A second time he was forced away by the longing for sleep, but he sat down again. This happened seven times, and still he went on resisting it. In the middle of the night the hermit woke up, and found him sitting nearby and said, ‘Haven’t you gone away yet?’ He said, ‘No, you did not send me away, abba.’ The hermit said, ‘Why did you not wake me up?’ He answered, ‘I did not dare to nudge you for fear of upsetting you.’ They both got up and began to say the morning prayers. After that the hermit sent his disciple away. When the hermit was sitting alone, he was shown a vision of a glorious place, with a throne in it, and on the throne seven crowns. He asked the angel who showed him the vision, ‘Whose crowns are those?’ and he replied, ‘They are the crowns of your disciple. God had given him this place and throne because of his goodness and tonight he has been granted these seven crowns.’ The hermit was amazed and called his disciple to him with wonder and said, ‘Tell me what you did all night.’ He answered, ‘Alas, abba, I did nothing.’ The hermit could see that he was being humble and concealing something, and said, ‘Look here, I can’t rest until you tell me what you did and thought last night.’ But the brother was not aware that he had done anything and could not say a word. Then at last he said to the hermit, ‘Indeed, abba, I did nothing, except that seven times I was driven by wandering thoughts to go away and sleep; but you had not sent me away as you usually do, so I did not go.’ Then the hermit at once understood that every time he resisted the temptation, God bestowed a crown on him. To the disciple he said nothing, thinking it best for his soul, but he told other directors of souls, to teach us how God can bestow crowns upon us even for resisting little temptations. It is good that a man discipline his whole self for God’s sake. As it is written, ‘The kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by storm’ (Matt. 11:12).

There was once a brother who was very eager to seek goodness. Being very disturbed by the demon of lust, he came to a hermit and told him about his thoughts. The hermit was inexperienced and when he heard all this, he was shocked, and said he was a wicked brother, unworthy of his monk’s habit because he had thoughts like that. When the brother heard this, he despaired, left his cell and started on his way back to the world. But by God’s providence, Apollo met him. Seeing he was so upset and sad, he said to him, ‘Son, why are you so unhappy?’ The brother was very embarrassed, and at first said nothing. But when Apollo pressed him to say what was happening to him, he admitted everything and said, ‘It is because lustful thoughts trouble me. I confessed them to that hermit, and he says I now have no hope of salvation. So I have despaired, and am on my way back to the world.’ When Apollo heard this, he went on asking questions like a wise doctor, and gave him this counsel, ‘Do not be cast down, son, nor despair of yourself. Even at my age and with my experience of the spiritual life, I am still troubled by thoughts like yours. Do not fail now; this trouble cannot be cured by our efforts, but only by God’s mercy. Do as I say and go back to your cell.’ The brother did so. Then Apollo went to the cell of the hermit who had made the brother despair. He stood outside the cell, and prayed to the Lord with tears, saying, ‘Lord, you permit men to be tempted for their good; transfer the war that brother is suffering to this hermit: let him learn by experience in his old age what many years have not taught him, and so let him find out how to sympathize with people undergoing this kind of temptation.’ As soon as he ended his prayer he saw a black man standing by the cell firing arrows at the hermit. As though he had been wounded, the hermit began to totter and lurch like a drunken man. When he could bear it no longer, he came out of his cell, and set out on the same road by which the young man started to return to the world. Apollo understood what had happened, and went to meet him. He came up to him and said, ‘Where are you going? Why are you so upset?’ When the hermit saw that the holy Apollo understood what had happened, he was ashamed and said nothing. Apollo said to him, ‘Go back to your cell and see in others your own weakness and keep your own heart in order. For either you were ignorant of the devil in spite of your age, or you were contemptuous, and did not deserve to gain strength by struggling with the devil as all other men must. But struggle is not the right word, when you could not stand up to his attack for one day. This has happened to you because of the young monk. He came to you because he was being attacked by the common enemy of us all. You ought to have given him words of consolation to help him against the devil’s attack but instead you drove him to despair. You did not remember the wise man’s saying, which orders us to deliver the men who are drawn towards death, and not to cease to redeem men ready to be killed. You did not remember our Saviour’s parable, “You should not break the bruised reed, nor quench the smoking flax” (Matt. 12:20). No one can endure the enemy’s clever attacks, nor quench, nor control the leaping fire natural to the body, unless God’s grace preserves us in our weakness. In all our prayers we should ask for his mercy to save us, so that he may turn aside this scourge which is aimed even at you. For he makes a man to grieve, and then lifts him up to salvation; he strikes, and his hand heals; he humbles and exalts; he gives death and then life; he leads to hell and brings back from hell (1 Sam. 2:6). So Apollo prayed again, and at once the hermit was set free from his inner war. Apollo urged him to ask God to give him a wise heart, in order to know how best to speak.

Some of the hermits once came to Joseph in Panephysis, to ask him if they should break their fast when they received brothers as guests, to celebrate their coming. Before they asked their question, Joseph said to them, ‘Think about what I am going to do today.’ He put two seats made of reeds tied in bundles, one on his left and the other on his right, and said, ‘Sit down.’ Then he went into his cell and put on rags; he came out, and walked past them, and then went in again and put on his ordinary clothes. The visitors were astonished, and asked him what it meant. He said to them, ‘Did you see what I did?’ They said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘Did the rags change me for the better?’ They said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Did good clothes change me for the worse?’ They said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘So I am myself whether I wear good clothes or rags. I was not changed for better or worse because I changed my clothes. That is how we ought to be when we receive guests. It is written in the Holy Gospel, “Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and unto God the things that are God’s” (Matt. 22:21). When visitors come we should welcome them and celebrate with them. It is when we are by ourselves that we ought to be sorrowful.’ When they heard this they were amazed that he knew what they intended to ask him, and they praised God.