Genesis 31:28

KJV

And hast not suffered me to kiss my sons and my daughters? thou hast now done foolishly in [so] doing.

KJV (with Strong's)

And hast not suffered {H5203} me to kiss {H5401} my sons {H1121} and my daughters {H1323}? thou hast now done foolishly {H5528} in so doing {H6213}.

Complete Jewish Bible

You didn't even let me kiss my sons and daughters good-bye! What a stupid thing to do!

Berean Standard Bible

But you did not even let me kiss my grandchildren and my daughters goodbye. Now you have done a foolish thing.

American Standard Version

and didst not suffer me to kiss my sons and my daughters? now hast thou done foolishly.

Commentary

### SUMMARY
Genesis 31:28 captures Jacob's impassioned rebuke of Laban, expressing profound indignation at being denied a proper farewell to his beloved children and highlighting Laban's manipulative and morally reprehensible conduct. This verse marks a pivotal moment in their strained relationship, as Jacob asserts his autonomy and calls out Laban's controlling behavior, setting the stage for their eventual, albeit uneasy, separation.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** This verse is embedded within the dramatic confrontation between Jacob and Laban, following Jacob's clandestine departure from Paddan-Aram after twenty years of service. Having secretly fled with his wives, children, and possessions, Jacob is pursued by Laban for seven days, who finally overtakes him in the hill country of Gilead. The preceding verses [Genesis 31:25-27](/genesis/31-25-27 "Laban confronts Jacob") detail Laban's initial accusations, questioning Jacob's secret departure and expressing indignation at not being allowed to bid his daughters and grandchildren farewell with joy and music. Jacob's response in verse 28 directly refutes Laban's feigned concern, exposing the hypocrisy of his lament and highlighting his true, manipulative character. This exchange sets the stage for the subsequent search for Laban's stolen household gods (teraphim) and the eventual covenant between them.
* **Historical & Cultural Context:** In the ancient Near East, family bonds and proper farewells were deeply significant, often involving blessings, feasts, and public displays of affection. A secret departure, especially with family members, could be perceived as an act of theft or abduction, justifying pursuit. Laban's concern about not being allowed to "kiss" his daughters and grandchildren taps into this cultural expectation of proper familial goodbyes, yet his past actions contradict this sentiment. Furthermore, the patriarchal society granted fathers significant authority over their daughters and their marriages, which Laban had repeatedly exploited. Jacob's long servitude and Laban's constant manipulation of his wages [Genesis 31:7](/genesis/31-7 "Laban changed Jacob's wages ten times") underscore the exploitative nature of their relationship, making Jacob's secret departure understandable, even if culturally unconventional.
* **Key Themes:** Genesis 31:28 contributes to several overarching themes within the book of Genesis and the broader biblical narrative. It powerfully illustrates **Divine Sovereignty and Protection**, as God intervenes to protect Jacob from Laban's potential harm [Genesis 31:24](/genesis/31-24 "God warns Laban not to harm Jacob") and guides him back to the promised land. The verse also highlights the pervasive theme of **Human Sinfulness and Deceit**, particularly through Laban's manipulative character, contrasting with Jacob's own journey of faith and flawed obedience. Furthermore, it underscores the importance of **Family Bonds and Covenant**, even amidst broken human relationships, as Jacob's passionate concern for his children demonstrates the enduring value of kinship within God's redemptive plan. The confrontation also foreshadows the **Journey of Faith and Liberation**, as Jacob's departure from Laban symbolizes a spiritual journey of freedom from oppressive circumstances, moving towards God's promised destiny.

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS

#### Key Word Analysis
* **suffered (Hebrew, _nâṭash'_):** From H5203, meaning "to pound, i.e. smite; by implication (as if beating out, and thus expanding) to disperse; also, to thrust off, down, out or upon (inclusively, reject, let alone, permit, remit, etc.)." In this context, it signifies "to permit" or "to let alone." Jacob is accusing Laban of not permitting him the basic human decency of a farewell, implying Laban actively prevented or refused to allow this natural expression of affection.
* **kiss (Hebrew, _nâshaq'_):** From H5401, meaning "to kiss, literally or figuratively (touch)." This word denotes a tender, affectionate embrace, a common gesture of farewell and blessing in the ancient world. Jacob's lament emphasizes the emotional deprivation caused by Laban's actions, highlighting the profound personal loss of being denied this intimate moment with his children and grandchildren.
* **foolishly (Hebrew, _çâkal'_):** From H5528, meaning "to be silly; do (make, play the, turn into) fool(-ish, -ishly, -ishness)." This term, derived from the root for "fool," carries significant moral weight beyond mere lack of wisdom. It implies a moral deficiency, a contemptible or disgraceful act, often associated with rebellion against God or a disregard for proper conduct. Jacob's use of this word is a strong indictment, suggesting Laban's actions were not merely unwise but morally reprehensible and indicative of a character lacking in spiritual and ethical understanding.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"And hast not suffered me to kiss my sons and my daughters?":** This rhetorical question serves as Jacob's indignant protest and accusation against Laban. It highlights Laban's controlling and unloving behavior, which deprived Jacob of a fundamental and culturally expected act of farewell and affection towards his own children and grandchildren. Jacob's emphasis on "my sons and my daughters" underscores his paternal love and the deep emotional bond he shares with his family, which Laban had callously disregarded.
* **"thou hast now done foolishly in [so] doing.":** This is Jacob's direct and forceful indictment of Laban's actions. The term "foolishly" (Hebrew, _çâkal'_) elevates Laban's conduct beyond a simple error or oversight to a morally culpable and contemptible act. Jacob is not merely stating that Laban acted unwisely, but that his behavior was disgraceful, wicked, and demonstrated a profound lack of respect, affection, and moral discernment, particularly in denying a proper familial goodbye.

#### Literary Devices
The verse powerfully employs **Rhetorical Question** ("And hast not suffered me to kiss my sons and my daughters?") to convey Jacob's indignation and to expose the hypocrisy of Laban's earlier lament. This question is not seeking information but rather serves as a strong accusation, highlighting the obvious injustice and emotional deprivation inflicted upon Jacob. Following this, the direct **Indictment** ("thou hast now done foolishly in [so] doing") serves as a clear and unambiguous condemnation of Laban's character and actions. The use of the term "foolishly" (Hebrew, _çâkal'_) functions as a form of **Moral Denunciation**, imbuing Laban's behavior with a deeper ethical failing beyond mere imprudence. This combination of rhetorical questioning and direct moral judgment effectively underscores the emotional intensity of the moment and Jacob's final assertion of autonomy against his manipulative father-in-law.

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
Genesis 31:28, while a personal exchange, resonates with profound theological truths about human relationships, divine oversight, and the nature of true wisdom. It reveals the destructive power of manipulation and greed, epitomized by Laban, and contrasts it with the deep, God-given value of family bonds. Jacob's passionate defense of his right to express affection to his children underscores the sanctity of familial love, a foundational element in God's design for humanity and the transmission of covenantal promises. Despite the brokenness of human interactions, God's protective hand is evident, ensuring His purposes for Jacob and his lineage will prevail.

* [Proverbs 1:7](/proverbs/1-7 "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge")
* [Psalm 127:3](/psalms/127-3 "Children are a heritage from the Lord")
* [Romans 12:18](/romans/12-18 "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all")

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Genesis 31:28 offers valuable insights for contemporary life, particularly concerning healthy relationships and the importance of closure. Jacob's desperate plea to kiss his children reminds us of the profound human need for proper goodbyes and the emotional pain that can result from their denial. Whether in family, friendships, or professional settings, denying closure can hinder healing and perpetuate resentment. Laban's manipulative behavior serves as a cautionary tale, urging us to recognize and resist controlling dynamics in our own lives, emphasizing the importance of establishing healthy boundaries and communicating openly and honestly. Furthermore, Jacob's unwavering love for his children, even amidst the turmoil, highlights the enduring strength of familial bonds and the biblical emphasis on nurturing these relationships. This passage encourages us to prioritize genuine affection and respect in our interactions, striving for reconciliation and peace, much like Jacob and Laban eventually form a covenant, allowing for forward movement.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **In what ways might we, like Laban, inadvertently or intentionally deny others the opportunity for proper closure in relationships?**
* **How can we cultivate healthier boundaries and communication patterns to avoid manipulative dynamics in our own lives?**
* **What does Jacob's passionate defense of his family teach us about the value of familial love and connection in our own contexts?**

### FAQ

**Why was Laban so determined to pursue Jacob?**

Answer: Laban's intense pursuit of Jacob was driven by a complex mix of motives. Primarily, he was concerned about his missing household gods, the [teraphim](/genesis/31-19 "Rachel steals Laban's teraphim"), which Rachel had stolen. These idols could have represented family inheritance rights or spiritual authority, making their loss significant. Beyond that, Laban likely felt deeply insulted and cheated by Jacob's secret departure, viewing it as an act of disrespect and a loss of control over his daughters and grandchildren. His greed also played a role, as he considered Jacob's accumulated wealth, gained through his service, as rightfully his own. He sought to reassert his authority and recover what he perceived as stolen property and family members.

**What does the term 'foolishly' (nabal) tell us about Laban's character?**

Answer: The Hebrew word *nabal* (נָבָל), translated as "foolishly" in the KJV, carries a much deeper and more severe connotation than simply lacking wisdom or making a mistake. It signifies moral depravity, wickedness, and a contemptible disregard for what is right, decent, or respectful, often implying a spiritual insensitivity or rebellion against God's ways. When Jacob declares that Laban "done foolishly," he is not merely criticizing Laban's poor judgment; he is condemning his character. It implies that Laban's actions—denying a proper farewell, attempting to reassert control, and his general manipulative behavior—were not just unwise, but morally reprehensible, indicative of a person who acts without regard for human decency, familial affection, or divine principles. This term is used elsewhere in Scripture to describe those who are morally bankrupt or spiritually senseless, such as Nabal in [1 Samuel 25:25](/1_samuel/25-25 "Abigail describes Nabal as foolish").

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
While Genesis 31:28 depicts a moment of human conflict and the brokenness of fallen relationships, it subtly points forward to the ultimate reconciliation and liberation found in Christ. Jacob's journey away from Laban's oppressive control foreshadows the believer's liberation from the bondage of sin and spiritual manipulation, a freedom fully realized through the atoning work of Jesus Christ. Just as God intervened to protect Jacob from Laban's harm and guided him safely toward the promised land, so too is Christ our faithful Shepherd and Protector, who leads His people through the wilderness of this world to their eternal inheritance. Laban's manipulative and unloving character serves as a stark reminder of humanity's fallen nature and the need for redemption, a redemption that is perfectly provided in Christ's perfect love and sacrifice on the cross. Furthermore, Jacob's passionate concern for his children and the emphasis on familial bonds point to the new family of God, forged through Christ's blood, where all relationships are healed, perfected, and eternally united in Him, transcending earthly farewells with the promise of eternal communion in the [kingdom of God](/revelation/21-3-4 "God will dwell with His people").

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.

Cross-References

Genesis 31:55

And early in the morning Laban rose up, and kissed his sons and his daughters, and blessed them: and Laban departed, and returned unto his place.

Ruth 1:14

And they lifted up their voice, and wept again: and Orpah kissed her mother in law; but Ruth clave unto her.

Acts 20:37

And they all wept sore, and fell on Paul's neck, and kissed him,

1 Kings 19:20

And he left the oxen, and ran after Elijah, and said, Let me, I pray thee, kiss my father and my mother, and [then] I will follow thee. And he said unto him, Go back again: for what have I done to thee?

Genesis 29:13

And it came to pass, when Laban heard the tidings of Jacob his sister's son, that he ran to meet him, and embraced him, and kissed him, and brought him to his house. And he told Laban all these things.

2 Chronicles 16:9

For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of [them] whose heart [is] perfect toward him. Herein thou hast done foolishly: therefore from henceforth thou shalt have wars.

1 Samuel 13:13

And Samuel said to Saul, Thou hast done foolishly: thou hast not kept the commandment of the LORD thy God, which he commanded thee: for now would the LORD have established thy kingdom upon Israel for ever.