2 Samuel 14:2

KJV

And Joab sent to Tekoah, and fetched thence a wise woman, and said unto her, I pray thee, feign thyself to be a mourner, and put on now mourning apparel, and anoint not thyself with oil, but be as a woman that had a long time mourned for the dead:

KJV (with Strong's)

And Joab {H3097} sent {H7971} to Tekoah {H8620}, and fetched {H3947} thence a wise {H2450} woman {H802}, and said {H559} unto her, I pray thee, feign thyself to be a mourner {H56}, and put on {H3847} now mourning {H60} apparel {H899}, and anoint {H5480} not thyself with oil {H8081}, but be as a woman {H802} that had a long {H7227} time {H3117} mourned {H56} for the dead {H4191}:

Complete Jewish Bible

so Yo'av sent to T'koa, brought from there a clever woman and said to her, "Please, pretend you're a mourner. Put on mourning clothes, and don't anoint yourself with oil, but appear to be a woman who has mourned for the dead a long time.

Berean Standard Bible

So Joab sent to Tekoa to bring a wise woman from there. He told her, “Please pretend to be a mourner; put on clothes for mourning and do not anoint yourself with oil. Act like a woman who has mourned for the dead a long time.

American Standard Version

And Joab sent to Tekoa, and fetched thence a wise woman, and said unto her, I pray thee, feign thyself to be a mourner, and put on mourning apparel, I pray thee, and anoint not thyself with oil, but be as a woman that hath a long time mourned for the dead:

Commentary

### SUMMARY
This verse details Joab's strategic initiative to secure the return of Absalom, King David's exiled son, by employing a "wise woman" from Tekoah. Recognizing David's profound longing for Absalom despite the murder of Amnon, Joab orchestrates an elaborate ruse. He instructs the woman to disguise herself as a long-term mourner, complete with specific attire and the avoidance of anointing oil, setting the stage for a compelling, fabricated plea designed to manipulate the king's emotions and sense of justice, thereby paving the way for Absalom's reconciliation with his father.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** This verse serves as the pivotal turning point after the tragic events of [Amnon's murder by Absalom](/2_samuel/13-28 "2 Samuel 13:28 - Amnon's Murder") and Absalom's subsequent three-year exile in Geshur, as recounted in [2 Samuel 13:38](/2_samuel/13-38 "2 Samuel 13:38 - Absalom's Exile to Geshur"). While King David had initially grieved Amnon's death, [2 Samuel 13:39](/2_samuel/13-39 "2 Samuel 13:39 - David's Longing for Absalom") explicitly states that David "longed to go forth unto Absalom," indicating a deep paternal yearning for his estranged son. Joab, ever the astute political operator and military commander, perceives this shift in David's heart and devises a plan to exploit it, setting the stage for the "wise woman's" elaborate parable and the subsequent negotiations for Absalom's return.
* **Historical & Cultural Context:** The narrative unfolds within the context of the Israelite monarchy under King David, where issues of royal succession, family honor, and justice were paramount. The "wise woman" was a recognized societal figure in ancient Israel, often sought for her discernment, rhetorical skill, and ability to mediate disputes or offer counsel, as seen in other biblical accounts (e.g., [2 Samuel 20:16-22](/2_samuel/20-16 "2 Samuel 20:16-22 - The Wise Woman of Abel Beth-Maacah")). Tekoah, a town south of Jerusalem, was known for its wilderness and later for producing the prophet Amos, suggesting a reputation for practical wisdom. The specific instructions regarding mourning attire—"mourning apparel" and abstaining from "oil"—reflect well-established ancient Near Eastern customs for expressing profound grief, where personal adornment was foregone to signify deep sorrow, as also noted in [Daniel 10:3](/daniel/10-3 "Daniel 10:3 - Daniel's Mourning Practices").
* **Key Themes:** This verse introduces several significant themes. **Strategic Intervention** is evident in Joab's calculated move to reconcile David and Absalom, highlighting his political acumen and understanding of the king's complex emotions. The role of the **"Wise Woman"** underscores the importance of discernment and rhetorical skill in ancient Israelite society, even when employed for deceptive purposes. The detailed instructions for **Mourning Customs** provide cultural insight into the outward expressions of grief, emphasizing their symbolic power to evoke sympathy. Finally, the entire scheme revolves around **Deception for a Perceived Good**, raising profound ethical questions about whether the ends justify the means, a recurring moral dilemma throughout the biblical narrative of David's reign.

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS

#### Key Word Analysis
* **Joab (Hebrew, _Yo'av'_):** David's nephew and commander of his army, Joab is consistently portrayed as a formidable, often ruthless, and highly strategic individual. His actions here demonstrate his political astuteness and loyalty to the Davidic dynasty, even when it means manipulating the king. He is a pragmatic operator, willing to employ unconventional methods to achieve what he perceives as necessary for the stability of the kingdom and the royal family.
* **Tekoah (Hebrew, _Teqoa'_):** A town located in the wilderness of Judah, about six miles south of Bethlehem. Its geographical isolation may have contributed to a reputation for inhabitants possessing a certain practical wisdom or shrewdness, perhaps making it a suitable place to find someone capable of executing such a delicate and deceptive mission. The later prophet Amos also hailed from Tekoah, further solidifying its association with discernment.
* **Wise Woman (Hebrew, _'ishshah chakamah'_):** This term denotes a woman possessing not just intellectual knowledge, but practical wisdom, discernment, and often, rhetorical skill. Such women in the Old Testament are often depicted as problem-solvers or mediators. Here, her "wisdom" is specifically leveraged for her ability to craft and deliver a compelling, emotionally manipulative narrative, rather than for prophetic insight or moral counsel.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"And Joab sent to Tekoah, and fetched thence a wise woman":** This clause establishes Joab's proactive and strategic role. He takes the initiative to address David's unspoken longing for Absalom, recognizing that a direct approach would be too sensitive. His choice of a "wise woman" from Tekoah indicates a deliberate search for someone with the specific skills—rhetorical ability, discernment, and perhaps a reputation for resolving complex issues—necessary to carry out his intricate plan.
* **"and said unto her, I pray thee, feign thyself to be a mourner, and put on now mourning apparel":** Joab's instructions are precise and calculated. The word "feign" (Hebrew, _hit'aber_ - "to make oneself appear") emphasizes the deliberate act of deception. "Mourning apparel" refers to specific clothing (often simple, torn, or sackcloth) worn to outwardly express grief, immediately signaling a state of deep sorrow and loss to the observer. This visual cue is crucial for eliciting David's sympathy and attention.
* **"and anoint not thyself with oil, but be as a woman that had a long time mourned for the dead":** This further detail reinforces the authenticity of the feigned grief. Anointing with oil was a common practice for hygiene, cosmetic purposes, and as a sign of joy or preparation for celebration (e.g., [Ruth 3:3](/ruth/3-3 "Ruth 3:3 - Ruth's Anointing")). Abstaining from it was a clear sign of self-neglect and profound sorrow, indicating a person so consumed by grief that they forgo personal care. The phrase "a long time mourned for the dead" emphasizes the depth and duration of the fabricated sorrow, designed to evoke maximum compassion from the king.

#### Literary Devices
This verse masterfully employs several literary techniques to set the scene for the unfolding drama. **Foreshadowing** is prominent, as Joab's meticulous instructions for the woman's disguise hint at the elaborate and emotionally charged parable she is about to deliver to King David, signaling that a significant, manipulative encounter is imminent. There is a subtle **Irony** in Joab, a man of war and direct action, resorting to such an indirect and deceptive strategy, and in employing a "wise woman" for a task that is inherently manipulative rather than straightforwardly wise. Finally, the "mourning apparel" and the instruction to "anoint not thyself with oil" serve as powerful **Symbolism**. These outward signs are not merely descriptive but are potent visual cues that immediately convey a state of profound grief and loss, designed to evoke empathy and set the emotional tone for the woman's subsequent plea.

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
This passage highlights the complex interplay between human agency, political maneuvering, and the unfolding of divine purposes, even through flawed means. Joab's scheme, while born of human wisdom and a desire to restore the royal family, relies on deception. This raises important ethical questions about the justification of means by ends, a tension frequently explored in biblical narratives concerning leadership and family dynamics. While Joab's methods are questionable, the narrative ultimately shows how God can work through imperfect human plans to achieve His broader purposes, such as the preservation of the Davidic line. The longing for reconciliation, though initiated through a ruse, reflects a deeper human desire for restoration that resonates with God's own heart for His estranged people.

* [2 Samuel 13:39](/2_samuel/13-39 "2 Samuel 13:39 - David's Longing for Absalom")
* [2 Samuel 14:20](/2_samuel/14-20 "2 Samuel 14:20 - Joab's Wisdom Recognized")
* [Daniel 10:3](/daniel/10-3 "Daniel 10:3 - Daniel's Mourning Practices")

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
This narrative offers a poignant look into the complexities of leadership, family brokenness, and the often-difficult path to reconciliation. It reminds us that even those in positions of power, like King David, are deeply affected by personal grief and family strife. Joab's use of an intermediary, though deceptive, illustrates the need for sensitive and indirect approaches when dealing with highly emotional and politically charged situations. For us, it prompts reflection on the ethics of truthfulness: when is it permissible to use indirect or even deceptive means to achieve a seemingly noble goal, and what are the potential long-term consequences of such actions? It also speaks to the enduring human longing for restoration and unity, even in the face of grave offenses, mirroring in a flawed way God's own desire for reconciliation with humanity.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **When is it appropriate to use indirect means to achieve a desired outcome, and what are the ethical boundaries we should consider?**
* **How does David's lingering longing for Absalom, despite his son's heinous crime, reflect the complexities of parental love and the challenges of forgiveness?**
* **What does the "wise woman" teach us about the power of carefully crafted communication and empathy in navigating difficult conversations or mediating conflicts?**

### FAQ

**Why did Joab use a "wise woman" from Tekoah, rather than approaching King David himself?**

Answer: Joab was David's military commander and nephew, but the matter of Absalom's return was extremely sensitive, given Absalom's murder of Amnon. A direct appeal from Joab might have been perceived as self-serving or disrespectful, potentially angering David. By employing a "wise woman" from Tekoah, Joab gained several advantages. Tekoah was known for its inhabitants' practical wisdom, making the woman a credible and persuasive speaker. Using an outsider provided Joab with plausible deniability and allowed the message to be delivered through a seemingly impartial party, employing a carefully constructed parable that would appeal to David's sense of justice and compassion without directly confronting him about Absalom. This indirect approach was designed to manipulate David's emotions and allow him to come to his own conclusion about Absalom's return, making it seem like his own decision rather than Joab's persuasion.

**What was the cultural significance of the "mourning apparel" and abstaining from "oil" in ancient Israel?**

Answer: In ancient Israel, "mourning apparel" typically consisted of simple, coarse garments, often sackcloth, sometimes torn, and worn to publicly display deep sorrow and humility. It was a clear visual signal to the community that the wearer was experiencing profound grief. Abstaining from "oil" was equally significant. Oil was commonly used for anointing the body for hygiene, cosmetic purposes, and as a sign of joy, celebration, or hospitality (e.g., [Ruth 3:3](/ruth/3-3 "Ruth 3:3 - Ruth's Anointing") or [Psalm 23:5](/psalms/23-5 "Psalm 23:5 - Anointing with Oil")). To forgo anointing oneself with oil was a deliberate act of self-denial and a powerful sign of deep, prolonged sorrow, indicating that one was too consumed by grief to attend to personal adornment or comfort. Joab's instructions to the wise woman were therefore precise cultural cues designed to evoke maximum sympathy and attention from King David, setting the perfect emotional context for her fabricated plea.

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
The narrative of Absalom's exile and David's longing for his son, orchestrated by Joab's deceptive but well-intentioned intervention, finds a profound Christ-centered fulfillment. Just as David yearned for his estranged son, despite his grave offense, God, our heavenly Father, longs for the reconciliation of humanity, His prodigal children, who are alienated from Him by sin ([Luke 15:11-32](/luke/15-11 "Luke 15:11-32 - The Parable of the Prodigal Son")). While Joab's plan relied on human wisdom and a deceptive ruse, God's plan for reconciliation is founded on ultimate truth and perfect love. The "wise woman" acted as an intermediary, but her role foreshadows the ultimate Mediator, Jesus Christ, who perfectly bridges the gap between God and humanity ([1 Timothy 2:5](/1_timothy/2-5 "1 Timothy 2:5 - Christ, the One Mediator")). Unlike the deception employed here, Christ is the embodiment of truth ([John 14:6](/john/14-6 "John 14:6 - Jesus, the Way, the Truth, and the Life")), and His intervention on our behalf was not a trick but a self-sacrificing act on the cross, making true reconciliation possible ([2 Corinthians 5:18-19](/2_corinthians/5-18 "2 Corinthians 5:18-19 - God Reconciling the World to Himself")). Through Him, the "exiled" are brought near, and the broken family of humanity is offered complete restoration and an eternal dwelling in the Father's presence.

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.

Cross-References

2 Chronicles 11:6

He built even Bethlehem, and Etam, and Tekoa,

Amos 1:1

¶ The words of Amos, who was among the herdmen of Tekoa, which he saw concerning Israel in the days of Uzziah king of Judah, and in the days of Jeroboam the son of Joash king of Israel, two years before the earthquake.

Ruth 3:3

Wash thyself therefore, and anoint thee, and put thy raiment upon thee, and get thee down to the floor: [but] make not thyself known unto the man, until he shall have done eating and drinking.

Jeremiah 6:1

¶ O ye children of Benjamin, gather yourselves to flee out of the midst of Jerusalem, and blow the trumpet in Tekoa, and set up a sign of fire in Bethhaccerem: for evil appeareth out of the north, and great destruction.

Nehemiah 3:5

And next unto them the Tekoites repaired; but their nobles put not their necks to the work of their Lord.

2 Samuel 12:20

Then David arose from the earth, and washed, and anointed [himself], and changed his apparel, and came into the house of the LORD, and worshipped: then he came to his own house; and when he required, they set bread before him, and he did eat.

2 Chronicles 20:20

¶ And they rose early in the morning, and went forth into the wilderness of Tekoa: and as they went forth, Jehoshaphat stood and said, Hear me, O Judah, and ye inhabitants of Jerusalem; Believe in the LORD your God, so shall ye be established; believe his prophets, so shall ye prosper.