2 Samuel 19:6

KJV

In that thou lovest thine enemies, and hatest thy friends. For thou hast declared this day, that thou regardest neither princes nor servants: for this day I perceive, that if Absalom had lived, and all we had died this day, then it had pleased thee well.

KJV (with Strong's)

In that thou lovest {H157} thine enemies {H8130}, and hatest {H8130} thy friends {H157}. For thou hast declared {H5046} this day {H3117}, that thou regardest neither princes {H8269} nor servants {H5650}: for this day {H3117} I perceive {H3045}, that if {H3863} Absalom {H53} had lived {H2416}, and all we had died {H4191} this day {H3117}, then it had pleased thee well {H3477}{H5869}.

Complete Jewish Bible

But you love those who hate you and hate those who love you. Today you said that princes and servants mean nothing to you - for I can see today that it would have pleased you more if Avshalom had lived today, and we had all died!

Berean Standard Bible

You love those who hate you and hate those who love you! For you have made it clear today that the commanders and soldiers mean nothing to you. I know today that if Absalom were alive and all of us were dead, it would have pleased you!

American Standard Version

in that thou lovest them that hate thee, and hatest them that love thee. For thou hast declared this day, that princes and servants are nought unto thee: for this day I perceive, that if Absalom had lived, and all we had died this day, then it had pleased thee well.

Commentary

### SUMMARY
2 Samuel 19:6 captures Joab's blunt and critical confrontation with King David, delivered in the immediate aftermath of Absalom's failed rebellion. David, overwhelmed by profound personal grief for his deceased rebellious son, had inadvertently neglected and demoralized his loyal army, who had just secured a vital victory for his kingdom. Joab's audacious words, though harsh, served as a crucial and pragmatic intervention, accusing David of a perceived preference for his enemy (Absalom) over his faithful subjects, thereby gravely jeopardizing the morale of his victorious troops and the very stability of his re-established reign.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** This verse marks a critical turning point in the narrative following the decisive battle in the forest of Ephraim and Absalom's death, detailed in [2 Samuel 18](/2_samuel/18 "2 Samuel 18 - Absalom's Defeat and Death"). David's intense and public lamentation for Absalom, despite the victory that saved his throne, is powerfully depicted in [2 Samuel 18:33](/2_samuel/18-33 "2 Samuel 18:33 - David's Mourning for Absalom"). This excessive grief profoundly demoralized the victorious Israelite army, transforming their triumph into a somber retreat, causing the soldiers to feel unappreciated and even scorned. Joab, David's formidable and often ruthless general, immediately recognized the severe threat this posed to the king's authority and the army's cohesion. His direct confrontation with David, spanning [2 Samuel 19:5-8](/2_samuel/19-5-8 "2 Samuel 19:5-8 - Joab Rebukes David and David's Return to the Gate"), is a no-holds-barred intervention designed to compel David to acknowledge his loyal subjects and resume his kingly duties, thereby averting further disaffection and the potential disintegration of his support base. This pivotal exchange directly sets the stage for David's return to Jerusalem and the complex political maneuvering required to fully re-establish his rule.

* **Historical & Cultural Context:** In the ancient Near East, the public image and morale of a king's army were absolutely vital for maintaining power, stability, and control over a kingdom. Victories were typically celebrated with great joy, public feasts, and the honoring of valiant soldiers. David's profound, personal grief, while deeply human and understandable, was politically catastrophic. It communicated to his loyal fighting men that their lives, their sacrifices, and their hard-won victory were less valuable than the life of the rebel who had sought to overthrow the king and usurp his throne. Furthermore, Joab's position as a powerful and influential general meant he had a direct and vested interest in the army's well-being and the king's effective leadership. His characteristic bluntness, though shocking, was consistent with his pragmatic and results-oriented approach, often evident when David's personal sentiments jeopardized the kingdom's stability (e.g., his decisive action in killing Absalom in [2 Samuel 18:14-15](/2_samuel/18-14-15 "2 Samuel 18:14-15 - Joab Kills Absalom")). The prevailing cultural expectation was for a king to prioritize the welfare, recognition, and public affirmation of his loyal subjects over personal sorrow, especially in the aftermath of a successful military campaign.

* **Key Themes:** This verse powerfully encapsulates several significant themes prevalent throughout the books of Samuel. Firstly, it highlights the profound **tension between personal emotion and kingly duty**. David's overwhelming love for his son, Absalom, directly clashes with his solemn responsibility to his kingdom and his loyal subjects, vividly illustrating the immense and often agonizing burden of leadership. Secondly, it underscores the critical importance of **effective leadership and military morale**, demonstrating how a leader's actions and perceived priorities directly impact the loyalty, unity, and effectiveness of their followers. Joab's intervention emphasizes that a king must actively value and affirm those who serve him faithfully. Thirdly, the passage continues the pervasive theme of the **consequences of sin and rebellion**, as Absalom's rebellion, though decisively crushed, continues to inflict severe emotional and political fallout on David and his kingdom. Finally, it touches on the complex interplay of **loyalty and betrayal**, contrasting Absalom's treachery with the steadfastness of David's army, yet paradoxically showing David's grief for the former over his appreciation for the latter. This intricate interplay of themes reveals the profound human complexities and moral dilemmas inherent in David's divinely appointed reign, even amidst God's favor.

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS
#### Key Word Analysis
* **Hatest (Hebrew, _sânêʼ_):** (H8130) While literally meaning "to hate," in biblical Hebrew, especially in comparative contexts, _sânêʼ_ can also convey a sense of "loving less," "preferring less," or "disregarding." Joab employs this term hyperbolically to shock David, implying that David's actions were perceived as a severe slight and rejection of his loyal supporters, effectively treating them as if he "hated" them in comparison to his profound and public grief for Absalom. It powerfully highlights the extreme perception of David's misplaced affection and priorities.
* **Regardest (Hebrew, _ʻayin_):** (H5869) This term, derived from the word for "eye," is used figuratively here to mean "to consider," "to value," or "to think best." Joab's accusation that David "regardest neither princes nor servants" implies that David had failed to properly value, consider, or even acknowledge the lives and sacrifices of anyone in his loyal army, from the highest-ranking officials ("princes") to the lowest soldiers ("servants"). This perceived lack of regard was deeply insulting and threatened to undermine the entire structure of loyalty and service to the king.
* **Pleased thee well (Hebrew, _yâshâr_):** (H3477) Meaning "to be straight," "to be right," or "to be pleasing/well." Joab's biting conclusion, "if Absalom had lived, and all we had died this day, then it had pleased thee well," is the ultimate rhetorical blow. It suggests that David's grief was so overwhelming that he would have preferred the death of his entire loyal army, including Joab himself, if it meant Absalom had survived. This extreme accusation aims to expose the perceived depth of David's emotional disconnect and force him to confront the devastating and dangerous impact of his actions on the morale and loyalty of his people.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"In that thou lovest thine enemies, and hatest thy friends."**: This is the core of Joab's hyperbolic and shocking accusation. David's "enemy" here is Absalom, who rebelled against him, sought his throne, and endangered his life. His "friends" are the loyal soldiers who fought valiantly and risked their lives to preserve his kingdom and his reign. Joab implies that David's public mourning for Absalom, while seemingly ignoring or overlooking the victorious army, was tantamount to loving the one who sought his destruction and despising those who saved him. This rhetorical exaggeration is designed to shame David into recognizing the profound gravity and dangerous implications of his actions.
* **"For thou hast declared this day, that thou regardest neither princes nor servants:"**: Joab immediately explains the basis for his severe accusation. David's behavior "this day" – the day of their hard-won victory – has made it undeniably clear to everyone that he places no value on the lives, sacrifices, or dedicated service of his loyal subjects, regardless of their rank or position. This statement underscores the widespread demoralization and feeling of worthlessness among the victorious troops, from the highest commanders ("princes") to the common soldiers ("servants"), all of whom had put their lives on the line for David.
* **"for this day I perceive, that if Absalom had lived, and all we had died this day, then it had pleased thee well."**: This is the most cutting, confrontational, and emotionally charged part of Joab's rebuke. He states his personal perception, which he believes accurately reflects the sentiment of the entire army: David's grief for Absalom was so profound and consuming that he would have genuinely preferred the death of his entire loyal army, including Joab himself, if it meant Absalom had survived. This extreme hypothetical scenario is intended to violently shock David out of his self-absorbed sorrow and force him to grasp the immediate and devastating implications of his public display of grief for the future of his kingdom and his vital relationship with his people.

#### Literary Devices
Joab's speech in 2 Samuel 19:6 is a masterful display of rhetorical force, employing several powerful literary devices to achieve its intended impact. The most prominent is **Hyperbole**, particularly evident in the phrase "lovest thine enemies, and hatest thy friends." This is not a literal statement of David's affections but an extreme exaggeration designed to highlight the perceived imbalance of his grief and to shock him into immediate action. Joab also skillfully uses **Juxtaposition**, starkly contrasting David's deep mourning for the rebellious Absalom with his apparent disregard for the loyal soldiers who risked their lives to save his kingdom. This stark comparison powerfully underscores the injustice and demoralizing effect of David's behavior on his troops. Furthermore, there is a profound element of **Irony** in David's position: the king who should be celebrating a hard-won victory and honoring his loyal subjects is instead consumed by grief for the very son who sought his downfall. Joab's bluntness functions as a form of **Direct Address** and **Rebuke**, characteristic of prophetic or authoritative confrontation, aiming not merely to express displeasure but to compel a swift and necessary change in behavior for the sake of the kingdom's stability and the army's morale.

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
The profound tension in 2 Samuel 19:6 between David's personal grief and his public duty as king highlights a recurring biblical theme: the inherent challenges and complexities of human leadership, even for those divinely chosen and favored by God. David, despite being described as "a man after God's own heart," demonstrates a profound human flaw – a temporary inability to subordinate overwhelming personal emotion to the greater good of his people and the stability of his divinely appointed kingdom. This incident serves as a poignant reminder that even the most favored and anointed leaders are imperfect, prone to misjudgment, and susceptible to emotional excess. Theologically, it underscores God's enduring patience and His continued work through flawed human vessels, while also emphasizing the crucial importance of wise counsel (even when it is harsh and confronting) in guiding leaders back to their responsibilities. Ultimately, it speaks to the divine expectation that leaders, especially those entrusted with God's covenant people, must prioritize the well-being, morale, and affirmation of their charges, reflecting God's own meticulous and compassionate care for His people.

* [Proverbs 29:2](/proverbs/29-2 "Proverbs 29:2 - Righteous Rule and Joy")
* [Luke 14:26](/luke/14-26 "Luke 14:26 - Hating Family for Christ for the Kingdom")
* [Romans 13:1-7](/romans/13-1-7 "Romans 13:1-7 - Submission to Governing Authorities and Their Purpose")

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Joab's blunt and uncomfortable words to David offer timeless and profound lessons on the nature of leadership, the necessity of appreciation, and the critical discerning of priorities. In any sphere of influence—be it family, church, workplace, or community—leaders are consistently called to balance their personal feelings and emotional responses with the overarching well-being and needs of those they lead. David's oversight was not necessarily a lack of genuine love for his army, but rather a public display of grief that *communicated* a severe lack of appreciation and acknowledgment, profoundly demoralizing those who had sacrificed greatly for him. This passage compels us to critically examine how our actions, even those stemming from deeply genuine personal emotions, are perceived by others, especially by those who look to us for guidance, affirmation, and leadership. True and effective leadership often requires the courage to make difficult choices, to consistently prioritize the collective good over personal comfort, and to actively and consistently affirm and value those who are loyal, committed, and serve faithfully. It serves as a powerful reminder that gratitude must be expressed clearly and consistently, and loyalty must be reciprocated, lest those who serve feel unacknowledged, unappreciated, and ultimately disaffected, leading to a breakdown of trust and morale.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **In what areas of my life do my personal feelings, grief, or preferences inadvertently overshadow my responsibilities to others or the collective good?**
* **How effectively and consistently do I express genuine appreciation and affirmation to those who are loyal and committed to me, my family, my team, or my organization?**
* **Can I honestly identify times when my actions or emotional responses, despite good intentions, might have been misinterpreted or caused demoralization in others?**
* **What difficult truths do I need to hear from trusted advisors, even if their counsel is as blunt and uncomfortable as Joab's, for the sake of my responsibilities, relationships, and the well-being of those I lead?**

### FAQ
**Why was Joab so harsh with David?**

Answer: Joab's harshness stemmed from a profound pragmatic necessity and a deep, immediate concern for the stability of David's kingdom and the critical morale of his army. David's excessive and public mourning for Absalom, the rebel who had sought to overthrow him and usurp his throne, was profoundly demoralizing for the soldiers who had just risked their lives to preserve David's reign. Instead of celebrating their hard-won victory and acknowledging their loyalty and sacrifice, David's grief made them feel unappreciated, unvalued, and even despised. Joab, as the seasoned commander of the army, understood that this could quickly lead to widespread disaffection, mass desertion, or even another rebellion, thereby jeopardizing David's very reign. His bluntness, though shocking and personally risky, was a desperate and calculated measure to force David to immediately resume his kingly duties, publicly acknowledge his loyal subjects, and prevent the potential collapse of his support base and the kingdom itself. It was a stark example of a necessary, albeit painful, intervention to save the crown. Joab's directness ultimately led to David's return to the city gate to greet his people, as recorded in [2 Samuel 19:8](/2_samuel/19-8 "2 Samuel 19:8 - David Returns to the Gate").

**Was David's grief for Absalom wrong?**

Answer: David's grief for Absalom was, on a purely personal level, a natural, deeply human, and understandable response to the death of his son, regardless of Absalom's rebellion. From a private, paternal perspective, it was profoundly understandable. However, from the perspective of his kingly duty and public responsibility, his *public display* of overwhelming grief was indeed problematic and politically disastrous. It sent the wrong message to his loyal army, implying that their lives, their sacrifices, and the kingdom's preservation were less important than the life of the rebel who had sought to destroy it all. The issue was not the emotion itself, but its public expression and the disproportionate focus on the enemy at the expense of the loyal and victorious. A king's primary duty was to his people and the stability of the kingdom, and David's grief was actively undermining that sacred trust.

**What happened immediately after this confrontation?**

Answer: Joab's harsh and direct rebuke had its immediate and intended effect. David, though undoubtedly wounded by the words, listened to Joab's counsel, however painful and confronting it was. Immediately following this confrontation, David ceased his public mourning, went to the city gate, and sat there to greet his victorious army (as detailed in [2 Samuel 19:8](/2_samuel/19-8 "2 Samuel 19:8 - David Returns to the Gate")). This public act of acknowledgment, appreciation, and resumption of his kingly duties instantly restored the morale of the troops and signaled David's return to his responsibilities. The army, seeing their king back in his rightful place and publicly acknowledging their sacrifice, rallied around him, and the crucial process of restoring order and bringing David back to Jerusalem began.

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
The profound tension in [2 Samuel 19:6](/2_samuel/19-6 "2 Samuel 19:6 - Joab's Rebuke to David"), where a human king is rebuked for seemingly "loving his enemies and hating his friends," finds its ultimate resolution and perfect antithesis in the person and work of Jesus Christ, the true and perfect King. David, though a man after God's own heart, was flawed, allowing personal grief to overshadow his kingly duty and alienate his loyal subjects. In stark contrast, Jesus, the perfect King, truly loved His enemies and demonstrated the ultimate, self-sacrificial love for His friends. While David was accused of valuing a rebel son over loyal soldiers, Christ willingly laid down His life not only for His disciples, whom He intimately called "friends" in [John 15:13](/john/15-13 "John 15:13 - Greater Love Has No One"), but profoundly, for those who were His enemies, those who were dead in their transgressions and actively hostile to God, as beautifully declared in [Romans 5:8](/romans/5-8 "Romans 5:8 - Christ Died for Us While We Were Still Sinners"). Unlike David, whose grief for Absalom caused division and demoralization, Jesus' suffering, death, and resurrection brought about ultimate reconciliation and profound unity, bridging the chasm between a holy God and sinful humanity, as illuminated in [Colossians 1:20](/colossians/1-20 "Colossians 1:20 - Reconciliation Through Christ's Blood"). He is the King who perfectly balances divine justice and boundless compassion, always prioritizing the eternal welfare of His people, not through a pragmatic calculation, but through perfect, self-giving love that extends even to His foes, transforming them into loyal subjects and beloved children of God. His leadership is never flawed by misplaced affection or human weakness but is always perfectly aligned with the Father's will, ensuring the eternal well-being of His everlasting kingdom and His redeemed people, for His throne is forever and ever, as proclaimed in [Hebrews 1:8](/hebrews/1-8 "Hebrews 1:8 - Christ's Eternal Throne").

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.

Cross-References

Acts 23:5

Then said Paul, I wist not, brethren, that he was the high priest: for it is written, Thou shalt not speak evil of the ruler of thy people.

2 Samuel 3:24

Then Joab came to the king, and said, What hast thou done? behold, Abner came unto thee; why [is] it [that] thou hast sent him away, and he is quite gone?

2 Samuel 3:25

Thou knowest Abner the son of Ner, that he came to deceive thee, and to know thy going out and thy coming in, and to know all that thou doest.

Proverbs 19:9

¶ A false witness shall not be unpunished, and [he that] speaketh lies shall perish.

Proverbs 19:10

¶ Delight is not seemly for a fool; much less for a servant to have rule over princes.

Job 34:18

[Is it fit] to say to a king, [Thou art] wicked? [and] to princes, [Ye are] ungodly?