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Commentary on Proverbs 5 verses 15–23
Solomon, having shown the great evil that there is in adultery and fornication, and all such lewd and filthy courses, here prescribes remedies against them.
I. Enjoy with satisfaction the comforts of lawful marriage, which was ordained for the prevention of uncleanness, and therefore ought to be made use of in time, lest it should not prove effectual for the cure of that which it might have prevented. Let none complain that God has dealt unkindly with them in forbidding them those pleasures which they have a natural desire of, for he has graciously provided for the regular gratification of them. "Thou mayest not indeed eat of every tree of the garden, but choose thee out one, which thou pleasest, and of that thou mayest freely eat; nature will be content with that, but lust with nothing." God, in thus confining men to one, has been so far from putting any hardship upon them that he has really consulted their true interest; for, as Mr. Herbert observes, "If God had laid all common, certainly man would have been the encloser." - Church-porch. Solomon here enlarges much upon this, not only prescribing it as an antidote, but urging it as an argument against fornication, that the allowed pleasures of marriage (however wicked wits may ridicule them, who are factors for the unclean spirit) far transcend all the false forbidden pleasures of whoredom.
1.Let young men marry, marry and not burn. Have a cistern, a well of thy own (Pro 5:15), even the wife of thy youth, Pro 5:18. Wholly abstain, or wed. - Herbert. "The world is wide, and there are varieties of accomplishments, among which thou mayest please thyself."
2.Let him that is married take delight in his wife, and let him be very fond of her, not only because she is the wife that he himself has chosen and he ought to be pleased with his own choice, but because she is the wife that God in his providence appointed for him and he ought much more to be pleased with the divine appointment, pleased with her because she is his own. Let thy fountain be blessed (Pro 5:18); think thyself very happy in her, look upon her as a blessed wife, let her have thy blessing, pray daily for her, and then rejoice with her. Those comforts we are likely to have joy of that are sanctified to us by prayer and the blessing of God. It is not only allowed us, but commanded us, to be pleasant with our relations; and it particularly becomes yoke-fellows to rejoice together and in each other. Mutual delight is the bond of mutual fidelity. It is not only taken for granted that the bridegroom rejoices over his bride (Isa 62:5), but given for law. Ecc 9:9, Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of thy life. Those take not their comforts where God has appointed who are jovial and merry with their companions abroad, but sour and morose with their families at home.
3.Let him be fond of his wife and love her dearly (Pro 5:19): Let her be as the loving hind and the pleasant roe, such as great men sometimes kept tame in their houses and played with. Desire no better diversion from severe study and business than the innocent and pleasant conversation of thy own wife; let her lie in thy bosom, as the poor man's ewe-lamb did in his (Sa2 12:3), and do thou repose thy head in hers, and let that satisfy thee at all times; and seek not for pleasure in any other. "Err thou always in her love. If thou wilt suffer thy love to run into an excess, and wilt be dotingly fond of any body, let it be only of thy own wife, where there is least danger of exceeding." This is drinking waters, to quench the thirst of thy appetite, out of thy own cistern, and running waters, which are clear, and sweet, and wholesome, out of thy own well, Pro 5:15. Co1 7:2, Co1 7:3.
4.Let him take delight in his children and look upon them with pleasure (Pro 5:16, Pro 5:17): "Look upon them as streams from thy own pure fountains" (the Jews are said to come forth out of the waters of Judah, Isa 48:1), "so that they are parts of thyself, as the streams are of the fountain. Keep to thy own wife, and thou shalt have," (1.) "A numerous offspring, like rivers of water, which run in abundance, and they shall be dispersed abroad, matched into other families, whereas those that commit whoredom shall not increase," Hos 4:10. (2.) "A peculiar offspring, which shall be only thy own, whereas the children of whoredom, that are fathered upon thee, are, probably, not so, but, for aught thou knowest, are the offspring of strangers, and yet thou must keep them." (3.) "A creditable offspring, which are an honour to thee, and which thou mayest send abroad, and appear with, in the streets, whereas a spurious brood is thy disgrace, and that which thou art ashamed to own." In this matter, virtue has all the pleasure and honour in it; justly therefore it is called wisdom.
5.Let him then scorn the offer of forbidden pleasures when he is always ravished with the love of a faithful virtuous wife; let him consider what an absurdity it will be for him to be ravished with a strange woman (Pro 5:20), to be in love with a filthy harlot, and embrace the bosom of a stranger, which, if he had any sense of honour or virtue, he would loathe the thoughts of. "Why wilt thou be so sottish, such an enemy to thyself, as to prefer puddle-water, and that poisoned too and stolen, before pure living waters out of thy own well?" Note, If the dictates of reason may be heard, the laws of virtue will be obeyed.
II. "See the eye of God always upon thee and let his fear rule in thy heart," Pro 5:21. Those that live in this sin promise themselves secresy (the eye of the adulterer waits for the twilight, Job 24:15); but to what purpose, when it cannot be hidden from God? For, 1. He sees it. The ways of man, all his motions, all his actions, are before the eyes of the Lord, all the workings of the heart and all the outgoings of the life, that which is done ever so secretly and disguised ever so artfully. God sees it in a true light, and knows it with all its causes, circumstances, and consequences. He does not cast an eye upon men's ways now and then, but they are always actually in his view and under his inspection; and darest thou sin against God in his sight, and do that wickedness under his eye which thou durst not do in the presence of a man like thyself? 2. He will call the sinner to an account for it; for he not only sees, but ponders all his goings, judges concerning them, as one that will shortly judge the sinner for them. Every action is weighed, and shall be brought into judgment (Ecc 12:14), which is a good reason why we should ponder the path of our feet (Pro 4:26), and so judge ourselves that we may not be judged.
III. "Foresee the certain ruin of those that go on still in their trespasses." Those that live in this sin promise themselves impunity, but they deceive themselves; their sin will find them out, Pro 5:22, Pro 5:23. The apostle gives the sense of these verses in a few words. Heb 13:4, Whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. 1. It is a sin which men with great difficulty shake off the power of. When the sinner is old and weak his lusts are strong and active, in calling to remembrance the days of his youth, Eze 23:19. Thus his own iniquities having seized the wicked himself by his own consent, and he having voluntarily surrendered himself a captive to them, he is held in the cords of his own sins, and such full possession they have gained of him that he cannot extricate himself, but in the greatness of his folly (and what greater folly could there be than to yield himself a servant to such cruel task-masters?) he shall go astray, and wander endlessly. Uncleanness is a sin from which, when once men have plunged themselves into it, they very hardly and very rarely recover themselves. 2. It is a sin which, if it be not forsaken, men cannot possibly escape the punishment of; it will unavoidably be their ruin. As their own iniquities do arrest them in the reproaches of conscience and present rebukes (Jer 7:19), so their own iniquities shall arrest them and bind them over to the judgments of God. There needs no prison, no chains; they shall be holden in the cords of their own sins, as the fallen angels, being incurably wicked, are thereby reserved in chains of darkness. The sinner, who, having been often reproved, hardens his neck, shall die at length without instruction. Having had general warnings sufficient given him already, he shall have no particular warnings, but he shall die without seeing his danger beforehand, shall die because he would not receive instruction, but in the greatness of his folly would go astray; and so shall his doom be, he shall never find the way home again. Those that are so foolish as to choose the way of sin are justly left of God to themselves to go in it till they come to that destruction which it leads to, which is a good reason why we should guard with watchfulness and resolution against the allurements of the sensual appetite.
When Scripture says, “Do not keep going steady with a foreign woman,” it is advising us to make use of secular education but not to settle there permanently. Each generation received beneficial gifts at the appropriate points, but they were in preparation for the Word of the Lord.
Why are you led astray, my son, by a foreign woman? etc. And it should be understood of both the prostitute and heresy.
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SUMMARY
Proverbs 5:20 presents a father's urgent and rhetorical question to his son, challenging the profound folly of pursuing illicit sexual relationships with a "strange woman" or "stranger." This verse encapsulates the book's broader warning against sexual immorality, highlighting the intoxicating allure of sin and implicitly contrasting it with the wisdom and lasting joy found in fidelity and adherence to God's design for marriage. It serves as a direct appeal to reason, urging the son to consider the destructive path of unchastity and choose instead the way of righteousness and self-control.
CONTEXT
Literary Context: Proverbs 5:20 is situated within a sustained didactic poem (Proverbs 5:1-23) where a father, embodying wisdom, passionately warns his son against the seductive and destructive nature of the "strange woman" (often a euphemism for an adulteress or prostitute). This chapter is a stark contrast to the previous chapter's emphasis on pursuing wisdom as a life-giving path. The father meticulously details the initial sweetness and ultimate bitterness of such illicit encounters, describing her enticing words in Proverbs 5:3, her deadly end in Proverbs 5:5, and the ruin she brings upon her victims in Proverbs 5:9-11. Verse 20 functions as a climactic rhetorical question, designed to shock the son into recognizing the absurdity and self-destructive nature of choosing such a path when the pure springs of marital fidelity are readily available, as encouraged in Proverbs 5:15-19. It powerfully reinforces the central theme of Proverbs—the choice between wisdom and folly, life and death.
Historical & Cultural Context: In ancient Israelite society, the family unit was the foundational pillar, and lineage was paramount. Marital fidelity was not merely a private affair but a matter of public honor, social stability, and covenant faithfulness. Adultery was a grave offense, punishable by death under the Mosaic Law, as stipulated in Leviticus 20:10. The "strange woman" (Hebrew: zarah or nokriyah) in this context refers not necessarily to a foreign woman by nationality, but primarily to one who is "alien" or "outside" the covenantal and marital relationship—an adulteress or prostitute. Her presence threatened the purity of the family line, the integrity of the community, and the spiritual well-being of the individual. The "bosom" (Hebrew: cheyq) was a deeply intimate space, often referring to the lap or embrace, thus "embracing the bosom of a stranger" unequivocally denotes illicit sexual intimacy. The cultural emphasis on honor and shame meant that succumbing to such temptation brought not only personal ruin but also public disgrace upon oneself and one's family.
Key Themes: Proverbs 5:20 powerfully contributes to several overarching themes within the book of Proverbs and biblical wisdom literature. Firstly, it serves as a crucial Warning Against Sexual Immorality and Adultery, portraying it as a deceptive and ultimately destructive path that leads to ruin and regret, contrasting sharply with the blessings of marital fidelity, as seen in Proverbs 5:18-19. Secondly, it highlights the Deceptiveness and Intoxicating Allure of Sin, particularly lust, which can "ravish" or lead one astray from sound judgment and righteous living. The rhetorical question itself underscores the Call to Wisdom and Prudence, urging the son to exercise discernment and self-control rather than succumbing to fleeting passions. Finally, the verse implicitly upholds the Sanctity of Marriage and Fidelity, presenting it as the divinely ordained context for sexual intimacy and a source of lasting joy and security, in stark contrast to the bitter consequences of infidelity detailed throughout the chapter in Proverbs 5:11-14.
EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS
Key Word Analysis
Verse Breakdown
Literary Devices
Proverbs 5:20 employs several potent Literary Devices to convey its urgent message. The most prominent is the Rhetorical Question: "And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?" This question is not posed to elicit information but to provoke deep introspection and challenge the son's potential folly. It forces the listener to confront the irrationality and self-destructive nature of choosing illicit pleasure over wisdom. Furthermore, the verse utilizes Synonymous Parallelism, where the second half of the verse ("and embrace the bosom of a stranger") reiterates and intensifies the meaning of the first half ("be ravished with a strange woman"). Both phrases refer to engaging in sexual immorality, but the second phrase uses a more explicit Euphemism ("embrace the bosom") to describe the intimate act, making the warning more vivid and direct. This parallelism reinforces the singular, dangerous nature of the "strange woman" and the "stranger" as representing the same destructive force. The use of "ravished" also carries a strong sense of Metaphor, depicting the allure of sin as an intoxicating force that overwhelms and deludes, leading one astray from the path of righteousness.
THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
Proverbs 5:20 is deeply rooted in the biblical understanding of covenant, purity, and the consequences of sin. Theologically, it underscores God's design for sexual intimacy to be exclusively within the bounds of a monogamous marriage, viewing any deviation as a transgression against divine order and human flourishing. The "strange woman" represents not just a social threat but a spiritual one, embodying a path that leads away from God's wisdom and into moral decay. This warning reflects the broader biblical emphasis on holiness and the call to live a life set apart for God, free from the defilement of sexual sin. It connects to the concept of covenant faithfulness, where fidelity in marriage mirrors Israel's fidelity to Yahweh, and infidelity represents a spiritual adultery against God Himself.
REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Proverbs 5:20 remains profoundly relevant in a world saturated with sexual temptation and shifting moral landscapes. The father's rhetorical question challenges us to examine our own hearts and choices: "Why would I choose a path that promises fleeting pleasure but delivers lasting destruction?" This verse calls us to cultivate radical self-control and discernment, recognizing that sin often presents itself as alluring and harmless, yet its end is bitter. It underscores the vital importance of guarding our eyes, minds, and hearts against temptations that seek to draw us away from purity and fidelity. Practically, this means actively choosing to honor God's design for sexuality, cherishing the sanctity of marriage, and fleeing from any situation or influence that could lead to moral compromise. It compels us to invest in relationships that build us up in wisdom and righteousness, rather than those that would lead us astray, remembering that true freedom is found in obedience to God's good design.
Questions for Reflection
FAQ
Who is the "strange woman" mentioned in Proverbs?
Answer: In the context of Proverbs, the "strange woman" (Hebrew: zarah or nokriyah) primarily refers to an adulteress or a prostitute, rather than simply a woman from a foreign land. She is "strange" because she is outside the covenantal and marital boundaries established by God. She represents a moral and spiritual threat to the individual and the community, embodying folly and leading to destruction. Her allure is deceptive, promising pleasure but delivering ruin and regret, as detailed throughout Proverbs 5 and Proverbs 7.
What does it mean to be "ravished" with a strange woman?
Answer: The Hebrew word translated "ravished" (H7686, shâgâh) means to stray, err, or be intoxicated. In this context, it describes being utterly captivated, deluded, or overwhelmed by the "strange woman's" charms to the point of losing one's moral judgment and self-control. It suggests a state where one is so enraptured by illicit desire that they wander from the path of wisdom and righteousness, making a profound moral mistake. It's a powerful depiction of how temptation can intoxicate the mind and lead to transgression, as warned against in Proverbs 7:21-23.
Why is the warning against sexual immorality so prominent in the book of Proverbs?
Answer: The warning against sexual immorality is prominent in Proverbs because it is a foundational issue for individual well-being, family stability, and societal order, all of which are central concerns of wisdom literature. Sexual sin, particularly adultery, directly attacks the integrity of the family unit, which was the bedrock of ancient Israelite society. It leads to severe consequences such as financial ruin, loss of reputation, disease, and spiritual death, as highlighted in Proverbs 6:26-35. Furthermore, it represents a profound rejection of God's wisdom and covenant faithfulness, leading one down the path of folly and away from the life God intends. The book emphasizes that true wisdom includes purity and fidelity, which bring lasting blessings and peace, as beautifully illustrated in Proverbs 5:15-19.
CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
Proverbs 5:20, with its stark warning against the "strange woman" and the enticement of sexual sin, finds its ultimate fulfillment and profound resolution in Jesus Christ. While the Old Testament law and wisdom literature provided external commands and warnings, Christ embodies the perfect wisdom and offers the internal power to overcome sin. He is the Wisdom of God personified (1 Corinthians 1:30), and in Him, we find the true path of life, contrasting sharply with the destructive ways of the "strange woman." Jesus elevated the standard of purity, teaching that lust in the heart is equivalent to committing adultery (Matthew 5:28). He did not merely warn against sin but provided the means for its forgiveness and the power for new life. Through His atoning sacrifice, Christ took upon Himself the shame and consequences of all sin, including sexual immorality, offering grace and redemption to those who repent (1 John 1:9). Moreover, the Holy Spirit, given to believers, empowers them to "flee sexual immorality" (1 Corinthians 6:18) and live lives of purity, transforming their desires and enabling them to honor God with their bodies, recognizing they are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Thus, the call to reject the "bosom of a stranger" is fulfilled in Christ by embracing Him as the true Bridegroom and living in the purity and fidelity that reflect the Church's relationship with Him, her Head (Ephesians 5:25-27).