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Commentary on Proverbs 5 verses 15–23
Solomon, having shown the great evil that there is in adultery and fornication, and all such lewd and filthy courses, here prescribes remedies against them.
I. Enjoy with satisfaction the comforts of lawful marriage, which was ordained for the prevention of uncleanness, and therefore ought to be made use of in time, lest it should not prove effectual for the cure of that which it might have prevented. Let none complain that God has dealt unkindly with them in forbidding them those pleasures which they have a natural desire of, for he has graciously provided for the regular gratification of them. "Thou mayest not indeed eat of every tree of the garden, but choose thee out one, which thou pleasest, and of that thou mayest freely eat; nature will be content with that, but lust with nothing." God, in thus confining men to one, has been so far from putting any hardship upon them that he has really consulted their true interest; for, as Mr. Herbert observes, "If God had laid all common, certainly man would have been the encloser." - Church-porch. Solomon here enlarges much upon this, not only prescribing it as an antidote, but urging it as an argument against fornication, that the allowed pleasures of marriage (however wicked wits may ridicule them, who are factors for the unclean spirit) far transcend all the false forbidden pleasures of whoredom.
1.Let young men marry, marry and not burn. Have a cistern, a well of thy own (Pro 5:15), even the wife of thy youth, Pro 5:18. Wholly abstain, or wed. - Herbert. "The world is wide, and there are varieties of accomplishments, among which thou mayest please thyself."
2.Let him that is married take delight in his wife, and let him be very fond of her, not only because she is the wife that he himself has chosen and he ought to be pleased with his own choice, but because she is the wife that God in his providence appointed for him and he ought much more to be pleased with the divine appointment, pleased with her because she is his own. Let thy fountain be blessed (Pro 5:18); think thyself very happy in her, look upon her as a blessed wife, let her have thy blessing, pray daily for her, and then rejoice with her. Those comforts we are likely to have joy of that are sanctified to us by prayer and the blessing of God. It is not only allowed us, but commanded us, to be pleasant with our relations; and it particularly becomes yoke-fellows to rejoice together and in each other. Mutual delight is the bond of mutual fidelity. It is not only taken for granted that the bridegroom rejoices over his bride (Isa 62:5), but given for law. Ecc 9:9, Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of thy life. Those take not their comforts where God has appointed who are jovial and merry with their companions abroad, but sour and morose with their families at home.
3.Let him be fond of his wife and love her dearly (Pro 5:19): Let her be as the loving hind and the pleasant roe, such as great men sometimes kept tame in their houses and played with. Desire no better diversion from severe study and business than the innocent and pleasant conversation of thy own wife; let her lie in thy bosom, as the poor man's ewe-lamb did in his (Sa2 12:3), and do thou repose thy head in hers, and let that satisfy thee at all times; and seek not for pleasure in any other. "Err thou always in her love. If thou wilt suffer thy love to run into an excess, and wilt be dotingly fond of any body, let it be only of thy own wife, where there is least danger of exceeding." This is drinking waters, to quench the thirst of thy appetite, out of thy own cistern, and running waters, which are clear, and sweet, and wholesome, out of thy own well, Pro 5:15. Co1 7:2, Co1 7:3.
4.Let him take delight in his children and look upon them with pleasure (Pro 5:16, Pro 5:17): "Look upon them as streams from thy own pure fountains" (the Jews are said to come forth out of the waters of Judah, Isa 48:1), "so that they are parts of thyself, as the streams are of the fountain. Keep to thy own wife, and thou shalt have," (1.) "A numerous offspring, like rivers of water, which run in abundance, and they shall be dispersed abroad, matched into other families, whereas those that commit whoredom shall not increase," Hos 4:10. (2.) "A peculiar offspring, which shall be only thy own, whereas the children of whoredom, that are fathered upon thee, are, probably, not so, but, for aught thou knowest, are the offspring of strangers, and yet thou must keep them." (3.) "A creditable offspring, which are an honour to thee, and which thou mayest send abroad, and appear with, in the streets, whereas a spurious brood is thy disgrace, and that which thou art ashamed to own." In this matter, virtue has all the pleasure and honour in it; justly therefore it is called wisdom.
5.Let him then scorn the offer of forbidden pleasures when he is always ravished with the love of a faithful virtuous wife; let him consider what an absurdity it will be for him to be ravished with a strange woman (Pro 5:20), to be in love with a filthy harlot, and embrace the bosom of a stranger, which, if he had any sense of honour or virtue, he would loathe the thoughts of. "Why wilt thou be so sottish, such an enemy to thyself, as to prefer puddle-water, and that poisoned too and stolen, before pure living waters out of thy own well?" Note, If the dictates of reason may be heard, the laws of virtue will be obeyed.
II. "See the eye of God always upon thee and let his fear rule in thy heart," Pro 5:21. Those that live in this sin promise themselves secresy (the eye of the adulterer waits for the twilight, Job 24:15); but to what purpose, when it cannot be hidden from God? For, 1. He sees it. The ways of man, all his motions, all his actions, are before the eyes of the Lord, all the workings of the heart and all the outgoings of the life, that which is done ever so secretly and disguised ever so artfully. God sees it in a true light, and knows it with all its causes, circumstances, and consequences. He does not cast an eye upon men's ways now and then, but they are always actually in his view and under his inspection; and darest thou sin against God in his sight, and do that wickedness under his eye which thou durst not do in the presence of a man like thyself? 2. He will call the sinner to an account for it; for he not only sees, but ponders all his goings, judges concerning them, as one that will shortly judge the sinner for them. Every action is weighed, and shall be brought into judgment (Ecc 12:14), which is a good reason why we should ponder the path of our feet (Pro 4:26), and so judge ourselves that we may not be judged.
III. "Foresee the certain ruin of those that go on still in their trespasses." Those that live in this sin promise themselves impunity, but they deceive themselves; their sin will find them out, Pro 5:22, Pro 5:23. The apostle gives the sense of these verses in a few words. Heb 13:4, Whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. 1. It is a sin which men with great difficulty shake off the power of. When the sinner is old and weak his lusts are strong and active, in calling to remembrance the days of his youth, Eze 23:19. Thus his own iniquities having seized the wicked himself by his own consent, and he having voluntarily surrendered himself a captive to them, he is held in the cords of his own sins, and such full possession they have gained of him that he cannot extricate himself, but in the greatness of his folly (and what greater folly could there be than to yield himself a servant to such cruel task-masters?) he shall go astray, and wander endlessly. Uncleanness is a sin from which, when once men have plunged themselves into it, they very hardly and very rarely recover themselves. 2. It is a sin which, if it be not forsaken, men cannot possibly escape the punishment of; it will unavoidably be their ruin. As their own iniquities do arrest them in the reproaches of conscience and present rebukes (Jer 7:19), so their own iniquities shall arrest them and bind them over to the judgments of God. There needs no prison, no chains; they shall be holden in the cords of their own sins, as the fallen angels, being incurably wicked, are thereby reserved in chains of darkness. The sinner, who, having been often reproved, hardens his neck, shall die at length without instruction. Having had general warnings sufficient given him already, he shall have no particular warnings, but he shall die without seeing his danger beforehand, shall die because he would not receive instruction, but in the greatness of his folly would go astray; and so shall his doom be, he shall never find the way home again. Those that are so foolish as to choose the way of sin are justly left of God to themselves to go in it till they come to that destruction which it leads to, which is a good reason why we should guard with watchfulness and resolution against the allurements of the sensual appetite.
He shows also, by the mention of the creature (the hind), the purity of that pleasure; and by the roe he intimates the quick responsive affection of the wife. And whereas he knows many things to excite, he secures them against these, and puts upon them the indissoluble bond of affection, setting constancy before them. And as for the rest, wisdom, figuratively speaking, like a stag, can repel and crush the snaky doctrines of the heterodox. Let her therefore, says he, be with thee, like a roe, to keep all virtue fresh. And whereas a wife and wisdom are not in this respect the same, let her rather lead thee; for thus thou shalt conceive good thoughts.
"Let her breasts satisfy you at all times," etc. He does not teach that one should always be occupied with conjugal work, but advises not to marry another while the first wife is alive, or ever associate with a prostitute. Otherwise, what he says, "Drink water from your own cistern and flowing water from your own well," teaches that one should beware of heretics and attend to the custody of the Scriptures and reading. Keep the knowledge, he says, that you preach to others, and the watering of your speech pours out. "Let your fountains be dispersed abroad, and divide your waters in the streets." When you have kept it yourself, then also preach to others, and in the great multitude of listeners, dispense divine words according to each one's quality. "Let them be yours alone." We divide the waters in the streets and yet possess them alone, when we also broadly spread the preaching outwardly, and yet by it we do not aim to achieve human praises. "And let strangers not share with you." Unclean spirits become the teacher's partners if they corrupt his mind with pride while he preaches, or with heresy, or any other vice. But alone he possesses the waters when faithfully connected with the Church's members, he keeps himself free from the company of strangers. "Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth." Let your doctrine be, and whoever is born from it, in the blessing of the Church, and rejoice with her to whom you have been joined from youth, that is, from the first time of believing. "A loving doe, a graceful fawn; let her breasts satisfy you at all times, and always be enraptured with her love." The most beloved or most pleasing deer, as some manuscripts have it, is the holy Church, which is accustomed to hate and crush the serpent-like doctrine. The most pleasing young stag is the people, delightful by the variety of its virtues, and always kindled by the emulation of the same pure faith. We are intoxicated by its breasts, when we are instructed by the pages of both Testaments against the deceptions of heretics. To always delight in its peace and love is a great occasion for exercising virtues.
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SUMMARY
Proverbs 5:19, a potent and poetic instruction from a father to his son, serves as a profound affirmation of marital intimacy and fidelity. Following stark warnings against the destructive path of sexual immorality, this verse pivots to present the blessed alternative: finding complete satisfaction, delight, and lifelong captivation within the covenant of marriage. It beautifully employs natural imagery to describe the ideal wife and the enduring joy a husband should find in her, thereby safeguarding him from the allure of illicit relationships and guiding him toward a life of purity and lasting contentment.
CONTEXT
EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS
Key Word Analysis
Verse Breakdown
Literary Devices
Proverbs 5:19 is rich with literary artistry, enhancing its persuasive power and conveying its message with vivid imagery. The most prominent device is Metaphor, where the wife is compared to a "loving hind and pleasant roe." These animals symbolize grace, beauty, agility, and tender affection, imbuing the wife with these desirable qualities and suggesting that her presence should be a source of constant delight and charm. This imagery evokes a sense of natural beauty and gentle allure that captivates the husband. Furthermore, the phrase "be thou ravished always with her love" uses Hyperbole to emphasize the intensity and pervasiveness of the desired marital affection. While literal intoxication is not implied, the language of being "ravished" or "intoxicated" conveys an overwhelming and consuming delight that should characterize the husband's experience of his wife's love, suggesting a passionate absorption that leaves no room for other desires. The verse also employs Parallelism in its structure, presenting two complementary aspects of marital satisfaction: physical fulfillment ("let her breasts satisfy thee") and emotional captivation ("be thou ravished... with her love"), both emphasized as continuous ("at all times," "always"). This reinforces the holistic nature of the marital bond and the comprehensive satisfaction it offers.
THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
Proverbs 5:19 beautifully articulates God's design for marriage as a covenantal relationship intended for profound joy, complete satisfaction, and lifelong intimacy. It underscores the divine wisdom in channeling human desires within the sacred bounds of marriage, thereby protecting individuals and society from the destructive consequences of sexual immorality. The passage affirms that true fulfillment and delight are found not in illicit encounters, which promise fleeting pleasure but deliver bitterness and ruin, but in the exclusive, cherished relationship with one's spouse. This divine blueprint for marriage is not merely a set of rules but a pathway to flourishing, where mutual affection, physical intimacy, and emotional captivation serve as powerful safeguards against temptation and sources of enduring happiness. It speaks to the holistic nature of human beings, created for both physical and relational connection, finding their highest expression in a committed, loving union that reflects God's own faithfulness.
REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Proverbs 5:19 offers timeless wisdom that transcends ancient contexts, providing a profound framework for cultivating a thriving and fulfilling marriage in any era. It challenges husbands to actively cherish, delight in, and find their complete satisfaction in their wives, recognizing that God has designed marriage as the primary sphere for intimate fulfillment. This involves a conscious commitment to nurturing both the physical and emotional dimensions of the relationship, ensuring it remains vibrant, passionate, and deeply satisfying. For both spouses, the verse implicitly teaches that a strong, satisfying marital relationship is the most effective defense against external temptations and the allure of fleeting pleasures. By continually investing in and finding joy within their own marriage, individuals can build a fortress of fidelity that protects their hearts, minds, and bodies from the destructive path of immorality. It encourages a proactive pursuit of marital joy, recognizing that "ravishment" and "satisfaction" are not passive states but require ongoing effort, appreciation, and cultivation to maintain their passion and joy throughout a lifetime, fostering a bond that truly reflects God's good design.
Questions for Reflection
FAQ
Does Proverbs 5:19 only apply to husbands, or does it have implications for wives too?
Answer: While the verse is directly addressed to a son (a husband), its principles are reciprocal and have profound implications for wives as well. The call for the husband to find complete satisfaction and delight in his wife implies that the wife is to be a source of such pleasure and affection, and that she too should find her satisfaction in him. A healthy, satisfying marriage requires mutual effort, cherishing, and intimacy from both partners. While the specific imagery is from a male perspective in a patriarchal society, the underlying message of exclusive devotion, mutual delight, and the safeguarding power of marital intimacy applies to both spouses. Both are called to cultivate a relationship where each finds their deepest satisfaction in the other, reflecting the unity and joy intended by God for marriage (see Ephesians 5:33).
How does this verse, with its explicit language about "breasts," fit into the broader biblical understanding of sexuality?
Answer: Proverbs 5:19, far from being an anomaly, beautifully aligns with the biblical understanding of sexuality as a sacred gift from God, intended for expression and enjoyment exclusively within the covenant of marriage. The Bible, particularly in books like Song of Solomon, is remarkably candid about marital intimacy, affirming its goodness and importance. This verse highlights that physical intimacy is not merely for procreation but also for pleasure, bonding, and mutual satisfaction between husband and wife. It teaches that such intimacy, when confined to marriage, is pure, honorable, and a powerful antidote to the destructive forces of illicit desire. It underscores that God's design for sexuality is for complete fulfillment and delight within the secure and loving confines of the marital covenant, where it serves to strengthen the bond and protect against temptation (see Genesis 2:24).
CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
While Proverbs 5:19 directly addresses marital fidelity in a literal sense, its underlying principles find their ultimate and most profound fulfillment in the relationship between Christ and His Church. Just as the husband is called to find complete satisfaction and be "ravished always with her love," so too is Christ utterly devoted to His Bride, the Church. He gave Himself up for her, "that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish" (Ephesians 5:25-27). The "loving hind and pleasant roe" imagery, symbolizing beauty and delight, points to the Church's spiritual beauty in Christ, made radiant and without blemish through His sacrifice and ongoing sanctification. The call for continuous satisfaction and captivation in marital love foreshadows the eternal, unblemished intimacy and joy that believers will experience with Christ, the true Bridegroom, in the new heavens and new earth (Revelation 21:2). Our human marriages, when lived out in fidelity and delight according to God's design, become a powerful earthly picture of this divine, eternal union, reminding us that ultimate satisfaction for the human soul is found only in being "ravished always" with the love of Christ, who is our ultimate Husband and the source of all true fulfillment and living water (John 6:35 and John 4:14).