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Commentary on Proverbs 5 verses 15–23
Solomon, having shown the great evil that there is in adultery and fornication, and all such lewd and filthy courses, here prescribes remedies against them.
I. Enjoy with satisfaction the comforts of lawful marriage, which was ordained for the prevention of uncleanness, and therefore ought to be made use of in time, lest it should not prove effectual for the cure of that which it might have prevented. Let none complain that God has dealt unkindly with them in forbidding them those pleasures which they have a natural desire of, for he has graciously provided for the regular gratification of them. "Thou mayest not indeed eat of every tree of the garden, but choose thee out one, which thou pleasest, and of that thou mayest freely eat; nature will be content with that, but lust with nothing." God, in thus confining men to one, has been so far from putting any hardship upon them that he has really consulted their true interest; for, as Mr. Herbert observes, "If God had laid all common, certainly man would have been the encloser." - Church-porch. Solomon here enlarges much upon this, not only prescribing it as an antidote, but urging it as an argument against fornication, that the allowed pleasures of marriage (however wicked wits may ridicule them, who are factors for the unclean spirit) far transcend all the false forbidden pleasures of whoredom.
1.Let young men marry, marry and not burn. Have a cistern, a well of thy own (Pro 5:15), even the wife of thy youth, Pro 5:18. Wholly abstain, or wed. - Herbert. "The world is wide, and there are varieties of accomplishments, among which thou mayest please thyself."
2.Let him that is married take delight in his wife, and let him be very fond of her, not only because she is the wife that he himself has chosen and he ought to be pleased with his own choice, but because she is the wife that God in his providence appointed for him and he ought much more to be pleased with the divine appointment, pleased with her because she is his own. Let thy fountain be blessed (Pro 5:18); think thyself very happy in her, look upon her as a blessed wife, let her have thy blessing, pray daily for her, and then rejoice with her. Those comforts we are likely to have joy of that are sanctified to us by prayer and the blessing of God. It is not only allowed us, but commanded us, to be pleasant with our relations; and it particularly becomes yoke-fellows to rejoice together and in each other. Mutual delight is the bond of mutual fidelity. It is not only taken for granted that the bridegroom rejoices over his bride (Isa 62:5), but given for law. Ecc 9:9, Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of thy life. Those take not their comforts where God has appointed who are jovial and merry with their companions abroad, but sour and morose with their families at home.
3.Let him be fond of his wife and love her dearly (Pro 5:19): Let her be as the loving hind and the pleasant roe, such as great men sometimes kept tame in their houses and played with. Desire no better diversion from severe study and business than the innocent and pleasant conversation of thy own wife; let her lie in thy bosom, as the poor man's ewe-lamb did in his (Sa2 12:3), and do thou repose thy head in hers, and let that satisfy thee at all times; and seek not for pleasure in any other. "Err thou always in her love. If thou wilt suffer thy love to run into an excess, and wilt be dotingly fond of any body, let it be only of thy own wife, where there is least danger of exceeding." This is drinking waters, to quench the thirst of thy appetite, out of thy own cistern, and running waters, which are clear, and sweet, and wholesome, out of thy own well, Pro 5:15. Co1 7:2, Co1 7:3.
4.Let him take delight in his children and look upon them with pleasure (Pro 5:16, Pro 5:17): "Look upon them as streams from thy own pure fountains" (the Jews are said to come forth out of the waters of Judah, Isa 48:1), "so that they are parts of thyself, as the streams are of the fountain. Keep to thy own wife, and thou shalt have," (1.) "A numerous offspring, like rivers of water, which run in abundance, and they shall be dispersed abroad, matched into other families, whereas those that commit whoredom shall not increase," Hos 4:10. (2.) "A peculiar offspring, which shall be only thy own, whereas the children of whoredom, that are fathered upon thee, are, probably, not so, but, for aught thou knowest, are the offspring of strangers, and yet thou must keep them." (3.) "A creditable offspring, which are an honour to thee, and which thou mayest send abroad, and appear with, in the streets, whereas a spurious brood is thy disgrace, and that which thou art ashamed to own." In this matter, virtue has all the pleasure and honour in it; justly therefore it is called wisdom.
5.Let him then scorn the offer of forbidden pleasures when he is always ravished with the love of a faithful virtuous wife; let him consider what an absurdity it will be for him to be ravished with a strange woman (Pro 5:20), to be in love with a filthy harlot, and embrace the bosom of a stranger, which, if he had any sense of honour or virtue, he would loathe the thoughts of. "Why wilt thou be so sottish, such an enemy to thyself, as to prefer puddle-water, and that poisoned too and stolen, before pure living waters out of thy own well?" Note, If the dictates of reason may be heard, the laws of virtue will be obeyed.
II. "See the eye of God always upon thee and let his fear rule in thy heart," Pro 5:21. Those that live in this sin promise themselves secresy (the eye of the adulterer waits for the twilight, Job 24:15); but to what purpose, when it cannot be hidden from God? For, 1. He sees it. The ways of man, all his motions, all his actions, are before the eyes of the Lord, all the workings of the heart and all the outgoings of the life, that which is done ever so secretly and disguised ever so artfully. God sees it in a true light, and knows it with all its causes, circumstances, and consequences. He does not cast an eye upon men's ways now and then, but they are always actually in his view and under his inspection; and darest thou sin against God in his sight, and do that wickedness under his eye which thou durst not do in the presence of a man like thyself? 2. He will call the sinner to an account for it; for he not only sees, but ponders all his goings, judges concerning them, as one that will shortly judge the sinner for them. Every action is weighed, and shall be brought into judgment (Ecc 12:14), which is a good reason why we should ponder the path of our feet (Pro 4:26), and so judge ourselves that we may not be judged.
III. "Foresee the certain ruin of those that go on still in their trespasses." Those that live in this sin promise themselves impunity, but they deceive themselves; their sin will find them out, Pro 5:22, Pro 5:23. The apostle gives the sense of these verses in a few words. Heb 13:4, Whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. 1. It is a sin which men with great difficulty shake off the power of. When the sinner is old and weak his lusts are strong and active, in calling to remembrance the days of his youth, Eze 23:19. Thus his own iniquities having seized the wicked himself by his own consent, and he having voluntarily surrendered himself a captive to them, he is held in the cords of his own sins, and such full possession they have gained of him that he cannot extricate himself, but in the greatness of his folly (and what greater folly could there be than to yield himself a servant to such cruel task-masters?) he shall go astray, and wander endlessly. Uncleanness is a sin from which, when once men have plunged themselves into it, they very hardly and very rarely recover themselves. 2. It is a sin which, if it be not forsaken, men cannot possibly escape the punishment of; it will unavoidably be their ruin. As their own iniquities do arrest them in the reproaches of conscience and present rebukes (Jer 7:19), so their own iniquities shall arrest them and bind them over to the judgments of God. There needs no prison, no chains; they shall be holden in the cords of their own sins, as the fallen angels, being incurably wicked, are thereby reserved in chains of darkness. The sinner, who, having been often reproved, hardens his neck, shall die at length without instruction. Having had general warnings sufficient given him already, he shall have no particular warnings, but he shall die without seeing his danger beforehand, shall die because he would not receive instruction, but in the greatness of his folly would go astray; and so shall his doom be, he shall never find the way home again. Those that are so foolish as to choose the way of sin are justly left of God to themselves to go in it till they come to that destruction which it leads to, which is a good reason why we should guard with watchfulness and resolution against the allurements of the sensual appetite.
You wives, be subject to your own husbands, and have them in esteem, and serve them with fear and love, as holy Sarah honoured Abraham. For she could not endure to call him by his name, but called him lord, when she said, "My lord is old." [Genesis 18:12, 1 Peter 3:6] In like manner, you husbands, love your own wives as your own members, as partners in life, and fellow-helpers for the procreation of children. For says He, "Rejoice with the wife of your youth. [Proverbs 5:18] Let her conversation be to you as a loving hind, and a pleasant foal; let her alone guide you, and be with you at all times: for if you are every way encompassed with her friendship, you will be happy in her society." Love them therefore as your own members, as your very bodies [Ephesians 5:28]; for so it is written, "The Lord has testified between you and between the wife of your youth; and she is your partner, and another has not made her: and she is the remains of your spirit;" and, "Take heed to your spirit, and do not forsake the wife of your youth."
"Let your fountain be blessed," etc. Maintain such temperance with the woman you married in your youth, even in old age, that by faithful chastity you may rightly gain a blessing in your offspring. "A loving doe, a graceful fawn." Let her always be your beloved spouse, who, like a doe that avoids serpents, shuns harlots and drives them away from her home. Let a son be born from her, and he himself be a very strict lover of chastity.
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SUMMARY
Proverbs 5:18 offers a profound and positive exhortation within a chapter primarily dedicated to warning against the destructive allure of sexual immorality. This verse pivots from negative admonition to a celebratory affirmation, urging the reader to discover deep joy, enduring contentment, and divine blessing within the exclusive and sacred bounds of a faithful marriage. It champions the sanctity of the marital covenant, portraying the wife as a cherished, life-giving source of intimacy and lasting happiness, standing in stark contrast to the fleeting, bitter, and ultimately ruinous pleasures offered by illicit relationships.
CONTEXT
EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS
Key Word Analysis
Verse Breakdown
Literary Devices
Proverbs 5:18 masterfully employs several potent literary devices to convey its message. The most prominent is Metaphor, where the "fountain" (Hebrew maqor) serves as a rich, multi-layered symbol for the wife. Just as a natural spring or well is a vital source of life-giving water, the wife is presented as the exclusive and pure source of sexual intimacy and the wellspring of legitimate progeny within the marriage. This imagery powerfully underscores the purity, refreshment, and life-sustaining nature of a faithful marital bond, contrasting sharply with the "stolen waters" of illicit affairs. The verse also utilizes Imperative Mood in both clauses ("Let... be blessed," "rejoice"), functioning as a direct command and exhortation. This grammatical choice conveys the urgency, authority, and divine imperative behind the instruction, emphasizing that marital fidelity and joy are not optional suggestions but divine mandates. Furthermore, there is a clear Contrast at play, particularly when viewed within the broader context of Proverbs 5. Verse 18 stands as the positive, life-affirming alternative to the destructive, death-leading path of the adulteress described in the preceding verses. This stark juxtaposition highlights the profound wisdom and blessing found in choosing fidelity over illicit pleasure, demonstrating that true satisfaction and divine favor are found exclusively within the confines of a God-honoring marriage.
THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
Proverbs 5:18 is a foundational verse for understanding the biblical theology of marriage, sexuality, and divine blessing. It elevates the marital union to a sacred status, portraying it as the divinely appointed and exclusive context for sexual intimacy and procreation. The "blessed fountain" imagery directly links marital fidelity to divine favor and fruitfulness, suggesting that a pure and exclusive marital relationship is not only morally righteous but also a channel through which God's blessings flow, including the joy of companionship and the gift of legitimate offspring. This verse serves as a powerful counter-narrative to the world's allure of fleeting, illicit pleasures, presenting instead a vision of enduring joy and deep satisfaction found within a covenantal relationship, thereby mirroring God's own unwavering faithfulness to His covenant people. It is a compelling call to intentionally cultivate marital intimacy and contentment, recognizing marriage as a profound reflection of God's design for human flourishing and spiritual well-being.
REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Proverbs 5:18 offers timeless, transformative wisdom for cultivating a thriving and God-honoring marriage in any generation. It calls us to actively cherish, prioritize, and find profound, lasting joy in our spouse, recognizing that true contentment in sexual intimacy and companionship is found exclusively within the sacred covenant of marriage. In a world saturated with temptations, fleeting gratifications, and distorted views of intimacy, this verse serves as a powerful reminder to diligently guard the sanctity of our marital bed, to resist the allure of anything that would defile our "fountain," and to invest intentionally and consistently in the relationship with the "wife (or husband) of our youth." This involves a commitment to open and honest communication, mutual respect, selfless love, and a continuous effort to nurture both emotional and physical intimacy. By embracing this divine wisdom, we not only obey a direct command from God but also unlock a deep, enduring source of blessing, happiness, and fulfillment that far surpasses any temporary pleasure found outside of God's perfect design for marriage.
Questions for Reflection
FAQ
Why does Proverbs 5:18 use the metaphor of a "fountain" for a wife?
Answer: The metaphor of a "fountain" (Hebrew maqor, H4726) is rich with profound meaning, drawing upon the vital and life-sustaining role of water in the ancient Near East. A fountain or spring is a natural, pure, and often abundant source of life, refreshment, and sustenance. In Proverbs 5:18, this imagery is powerfully employed to represent the wife as the exclusive, pure, and life-giving source of sexual intimacy and the origin of legitimate offspring within the covenant of marriage. This imagery stands in stark contrast to the "strange waters" or "stolen waters" mentioned elsewhere in Proverbs, which are deceitful, defiling, and ultimately lead to bitterness and death (Proverbs 9:17-18). By exhorting the husband to let his "fountain be blessed," the verse emphasizes the purity, fruitfulness, and divine approval associated with sexual intimacy that is confined to the sacred bond of marriage, portraying it as a wellspring of true life and blessing.
What is the significance of the phrase "wife of thy youth"?
Answer: The phrase "wife of thy youth" (Hebrew ʼishshâh nâʻûwr, H802, H5271) carries profound theological and relational significance, emphasizing the enduring, foundational, and covenantal nature of marriage. It refers to the spouse one married in their younger years, implying a lifelong commitment and a relationship that has grown, matured, and deepened over time. This phrase powerfully highlights the value of faithfulness, loyalty, and unwavering devotion to one's original partner, strongly discouraging the pursuit of new relationships or illicit affairs. It underscores the biblical ideal that the deepest and most enduring joy and satisfaction are found in cultivating a lasting bond with the one with whom one began life's journey, rather than seeking fleeting gratification elsewhere. This sentiment is echoed in Malachi 2:14-15, where God speaks against dealing treacherously with the "wife of your youth," emphasizing the sacredness of the marital covenant established before God. It is a powerful call to cherish, protect, and continually invest in the foundational relationship of one's life.
CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
Proverbs 5:18, with its profound call to find joy, blessing, and purity in the "fountain" of one's marriage, finds its ultimate and most glorious fulfillment in the person and work of Jesus Christ. While the verse speaks directly to the sanctity of human marriage, it beautifully points to a deeper spiritual reality: Christ Himself is the ultimate "fountain" of living water, the true and inexhaustible source of spiritual life, eternal joy, and abundant blessing for all who believe in Him (John 4:10-14 and John 7:37-38). Just as the husband is commanded to rejoice in his wife, so the Church, as the beloved Bride of Christ, is called to find her complete satisfaction, delight, and identity in Him alone. The fidelity enjoined in Proverbs 5:18 foreshadows the exclusive devotion and singular allegiance required of believers to Christ, our heavenly Bridegroom. He is the one who selflessly loved His Church, giving Himself up for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her, presenting her to Himself as a glorious Church, without stain or wrinkle or any blemish, but holy and blameless (Ephesians 5:25-27). The "blessed fountain" of marital intimacy, designed for procreation and pleasure within God's design, points to the spiritual fruitfulness and abundant life found in an undefiled union with Christ. Through Him, we receive true and eternal joy, a satisfaction that far surpasses any fleeting earthly pleasure, and our spiritual union with Him is the ultimate, everlasting covenant, leading to an eternal "rejoicing" at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb (Revelation 19:7-9).