Proverbs 5:17

KJV

Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee.

KJV (with Strong's)

Let them be only thine own, and not strangers {H2114}' with thee.

Complete Jewish Bible

but let them be for you alone and not for strangers with you.

Berean Standard Bible

Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers.

American Standard Version

Let them be for thyself alone, And not for strangers with thee.

Commentary

### SUMMARY
Proverbs 5:17 is a pivotal verse within a father's earnest admonition to his son, urging him to find complete sexual and emotional satisfaction exclusively within the covenant of marriage. It serves as a direct continuation of the metaphorical invitation to drink from one's "own cistern" and "fountains," emphasizing that the intimate blessings and joys of conjugal life are to be reserved solely for one's spouse, never to be shared with "strangers" or illicit partners. This verse underscores the divine design for marital exclusivity, safeguarding the sanctity of the marital bond and protecting against the devastating consequences of infidelity.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** Proverbs 5:17 is nestled within a sustained warning against the seductive allure and destructive consequences of sexual immorality, particularly concerning the "adulteress" or "strange woman" (Proverbs 5:1-23). The preceding verses, [Proverbs 5:15-16](/proverbs/5-15 "Proverbs 5:15-16 - Drink from Your Own Cistern"), employ vivid metaphors of "drinking waters out of thine own cistern" and "running waters out of thine own well," symbolizing the refreshing and life-giving pleasures of marital intimacy. Verse 17 directly builds upon this imagery, asserting that these exclusive blessings are to be enjoyed solely within the legitimate marital bond. The subsequent verses (e.g., [Proverbs 5:18-23](/proverbs/5-18 "Proverbs 5:18-23 - Rejoice in the Wife of Your Youth")) further elaborate on the joy of fidelity and the bitter end of unfaithfulness, framing the entire chapter as a stark contrast between wisdom's path of purity and folly's path of destruction.

* **Historical & Cultural Context:** In ancient Israel, marriage was the foundational unit of society, crucial for lineage, property inheritance, and social order. Sexual purity and marital fidelity were highly valued and legally protected, with severe penalties for adultery (e.g., [Deuteronomy 22:22](/deuteronomy/22-22 "Deuteronomy 22:22 - Penalty for Adultery")). The "strange woman" or "adulteress" was not merely a moral threat but also a social and economic danger, capable of leading a man to ruin and poverty, as described in [Proverbs 6:26](/proverbs/6-26 "Proverbs 6:26 - The Cost of Adultery"). The emphasis on "thine own" reflects the patriarchal structure where a man's wife was his exclusive possession, and any deviation from this exclusivity threatened the family's honor, stability, and future. The wisdom literature, particularly Proverbs, sought to instill principles that would ensure the flourishing of individuals, families, and the nation within this cultural framework.

* **Key Themes:** Proverbs 5:17 profoundly contributes to several key themes within the book of Proverbs and biblical wisdom literature. Firstly, it champions **Marital Exclusivity and Fidelity**, asserting that sexual intimacy is a sacred gift designed by God to be shared solely between husband and wife. This exclusivity is presented not as a restriction but as the pathway to true joy and satisfaction, contrasting sharply with the fleeting and destructive pleasures of illicit relationships. Secondly, the verse underscores the theme of **Wisdom's Protection and Folly's Destruction**. By adhering to the wisdom of marital fidelity, one is protected from the bitter consequences of sexual sin, which are vividly depicted later in the chapter as physical decay, loss of wealth, public shame, and divine judgment (e.g., [Proverbs 5:9-14](/proverbs/5-9 "Proverbs 5:9-14 - Consequences of Adultery")). Finally, it speaks to the broader theme of **Self-Control and Discipline**, urging the son to exercise restraint and direct his desires toward their proper, God-ordained outlet within marriage, rather than succumbing to the temptations of the "strange woman" and squandering his vitality and resources.

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS
#### Key Word Analysis
* **strangers (Hebrew, _zûwr'_):** This word, derived from a primitive root meaning "to turn aside," carries a rich semantic range. In its primary sense, it refers to someone who is "foreign" or "alien," someone outside the established community or family. However, in the context of Proverbs, particularly concerning sexual ethics, _zûwr_ takes on a more specific and ominous meaning: it denotes someone who is "profane," "illicit," or "adulterous." It can specifically refer to a "strange woman" or one who commits "adultery." Thus, "strangers" here signifies not merely unknown individuals, but those with whom sexual intimacy is forbidden and destructive, standing in direct opposition to "thine own" legitimate spouse.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"Let them be only thine own":** The pronoun "them" refers back to the "waters" and "fountains" of [Proverbs 5:15-16](/proverbs/5-15 "Proverbs 5:15-16 - The Metaphor of Marital Intimacy"), which are powerful metaphors for the refreshing, life-giving, and deeply satisfying sexual and emotional intimacy found within the marital relationship. This clause is an imperative, a command or strong exhortation, emphasizing that these blessings are to be cultivated and enjoyed exclusively within the boundaries of one's own marriage. It speaks to the sacred and private nature of conjugal love.
* **"and not strangers' with thee":** This clause provides the negative counterpart, explicitly forbidding the sharing of these intimate blessings with anyone outside the marital covenant. "Strangers" here, as analyzed above, refers to illicit partners, adulterers, or prostitutes. The phrase "with thee" underscores the personal and relational nature of this warning, highlighting that the sin of infidelity is a direct betrayal of the marital bond and a transgression against the self and God's design. It is a clear call to absolute marital fidelity and sexual purity.

#### Literary Devices
Proverbs 5:17 employs several potent literary devices to convey its message. The primary device is **Metaphor**, as "them" directly references the "waters" and "fountains" from previous verses, which symbolize the life-giving and satisfying nature of marital intimacy. This sustained metaphor makes the abstract concept of sexual fidelity tangible and appealing. There is also a strong element of **Contrast**, pitting "thine own" (referring to the legitimate spouse and exclusive marital relationship) against "strangers" (representing illicit partners and forbidden relationships). This stark juxtaposition highlights the binary choice between wisdom and folly, blessing and curse. Furthermore, the verse functions as a piece of **Didacticism**, characteristic of the book of Proverbs. It is a direct, authoritative instruction from a father to a son, designed to impart practical wisdom for living a righteous and flourishing life, particularly in the realm of sexual ethics.

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
Proverbs 5:17 beautifully articulates the biblical theology of marriage as an exclusive, covenantal union designed by God for mutual joy, procreation, and companionship. It reflects the divine intention for sexual intimacy to be confined within the sacred bounds of marriage, thereby protecting its purity and power. This exclusivity is not merely a moral rule but a reflection of God's own covenant faithfulness and a safeguard against the spiritual, emotional, and physical devastation that sexual sin inevitably brings. The verse resonates with the creation account's emphasis on the "one flesh" union, underscoring that true satisfaction and blessing flow from honoring God's design for human sexuality.

* [Genesis 2:24](/genesis/2-24 "Genesis 2:24 - The One Flesh Union")
* [Hebrews 13:4](/hebrews/13-4 "Hebrews 13:4 - Marriage is Honorable")
* [1 Corinthians 7:2-5](/1_corinthians/7-2 "1 Corinthians 7:2-5 - Marital Rights and Avoiding Temptation")

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Proverbs 5:17 offers timeless wisdom that transcends ancient cultural contexts, speaking directly to the human heart's desires and temptations. In a world saturated with sexualized imagery and casual attitudes toward intimacy, this verse calls believers to a counter-cultural commitment to marital fidelity and purity. It encourages individuals, whether married or single, to cultivate a deep appreciation for God's design for sexuality. For the married, it is a powerful reminder to intentionally cherish, nurture, and find complete satisfaction within their exclusive marital bond, actively seeking to meet their spouse's needs and guarding against external temptations. For the unmarried, it serves as a foundational principle for future marriage, encouraging a commitment to purity now and a vision for the exclusive joy awaiting within a covenant relationship. Ultimately, it challenges all to recognize that true fulfillment is found not in pursuing fleeting illicit pleasures, but in honoring God's wise boundaries, which are designed for our flourishing and protection.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **How does the metaphor of "drinking from your own cistern" challenge contemporary views on sexual freedom and satisfaction?**
* **What practical steps can individuals or couples take to actively cultivate and protect the exclusivity of their marital intimacy?**
* **In what ways might the "strangers" in our modern context manifest, and how can we guard our hearts and minds against their allure?**
* **How does a commitment to marital exclusivity reflect a deeper commitment to God's covenant faithfulness in all areas of life?**

### FAQ
**What do "waters" and "fountains" refer to in this context?**

Answer: In Proverbs 5:15-17, the "waters" and "fountains" are rich metaphors for the life-giving, refreshing, and deeply satisfying sexual and emotional intimacy found exclusively within the covenant of marriage. They represent the legitimate and pure pleasures of conjugal love, contrasting sharply with the "stolen waters" of illicit relationships mentioned elsewhere in Proverbs (e.g., [Proverbs 9:17](/proverbs/9-17 "Proverbs 9:17 - Stolen Waters are Sweet")). The imagery suggests abundance, purity, and a source of true replenishment.

**Why is marital exclusivity so strongly emphasized in Proverbs 5?**

Answer: Marital exclusivity is emphasized because it is foundational to God's design for human relationships and societal well-being. From a biblical perspective, it protects the sanctity of the marriage covenant, ensures the stability of the family unit, and safeguards individuals from the devastating physical, emotional, spiritual, and financial consequences of sexual immorality. The chapter vividly details how infidelity leads to ruin, shame, and loss of life's vitality (e.g., [Proverbs 5:7-14](/proverbs/5-7 "Proverbs 5:7-14 - The Path of the Adulteress")). By advocating for exclusivity, Proverbs promotes a path of wisdom that leads to blessing, honor, and lasting joy within the divinely ordained boundaries of marriage.

**Does this verse have any relevance for unmarried individuals?**

Answer: Absolutely. While Proverbs 5:17 directly addresses marital exclusivity, its underlying principles of sexual purity, self-control, and guarding one's heart are profoundly relevant for unmarried individuals. It teaches the value of reserving sexual intimacy for the marriage covenant, encouraging a commitment to purity before marriage as preparation for a faithful and exclusive union. For those called to singleness, it reinforces the broader call to sexual purity and holiness, understanding that one's body is a temple of the Holy Spirit (e.g., [1 Corinthians 6:18-20](/1_corinthians/6-18 "1 Corinthians 6:18-20 - Flee Sexual Immorality")). The wisdom of Proverbs 5:17 establishes a foundational understanding of God's design for sexuality that applies to all stages of life.

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
Proverbs 5:17, with its call for exclusive devotion within marriage, finds its ultimate fulfillment and elevation in Christ. While the Old Testament wisdom emphasizes external fidelity and the avoidance of "strangers," Jesus deepens this command by addressing the heart. In the Sermon on the Mount, He declares that lustful looking is already adultery in the heart ([Matthew 5:28](/matthew/5-28 "Matthew 5:28 - Adultery of the Heart")), thereby extending the principle of exclusivity to one's inner thoughts and desires. Furthermore, Christ Himself is presented as the ultimate "fountain of living waters" ([John 4:10-14](/john/4-10 "John 4:10-14 - Jesus, the Living Water")), the sole source of true and lasting satisfaction that prevents the need to seek fulfillment in "broken cisterns" or illicit relationships. The New Testament also portrays the Church as the Bride of Christ, called to an exclusive and pure devotion to Him, mirroring the marital fidelity advocated in Proverbs ([Ephesians 5:25-32](/ephesians/5-25 "Ephesians 5:25-32 - Christ and the Church as Bridegroom and Bride")). Through the empowering presence of the Holy Spirit, believers are enabled to live out the purity and self-control that Proverbs commands, finding their deepest joy and identity in their union with Christ, thereby fulfilling the spirit of Proverbs 5:17 in a profoundly spiritual and holistic way.

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.