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Commentary on Proverbs 5 verses 15–23
Solomon, having shown the great evil that there is in adultery and fornication, and all such lewd and filthy courses, here prescribes remedies against them.
I. Enjoy with satisfaction the comforts of lawful marriage, which was ordained for the prevention of uncleanness, and therefore ought to be made use of in time, lest it should not prove effectual for the cure of that which it might have prevented. Let none complain that God has dealt unkindly with them in forbidding them those pleasures which they have a natural desire of, for he has graciously provided for the regular gratification of them. "Thou mayest not indeed eat of every tree of the garden, but choose thee out one, which thou pleasest, and of that thou mayest freely eat; nature will be content with that, but lust with nothing." God, in thus confining men to one, has been so far from putting any hardship upon them that he has really consulted their true interest; for, as Mr. Herbert observes, "If God had laid all common, certainly man would have been the encloser." - Church-porch. Solomon here enlarges much upon this, not only prescribing it as an antidote, but urging it as an argument against fornication, that the allowed pleasures of marriage (however wicked wits may ridicule them, who are factors for the unclean spirit) far transcend all the false forbidden pleasures of whoredom.
1.Let young men marry, marry and not burn. Have a cistern, a well of thy own (Pro 5:15), even the wife of thy youth, Pro 5:18. Wholly abstain, or wed. - Herbert. "The world is wide, and there are varieties of accomplishments, among which thou mayest please thyself."
2.Let him that is married take delight in his wife, and let him be very fond of her, not only because she is the wife that he himself has chosen and he ought to be pleased with his own choice, but because she is the wife that God in his providence appointed for him and he ought much more to be pleased with the divine appointment, pleased with her because she is his own. Let thy fountain be blessed (Pro 5:18); think thyself very happy in her, look upon her as a blessed wife, let her have thy blessing, pray daily for her, and then rejoice with her. Those comforts we are likely to have joy of that are sanctified to us by prayer and the blessing of God. It is not only allowed us, but commanded us, to be pleasant with our relations; and it particularly becomes yoke-fellows to rejoice together and in each other. Mutual delight is the bond of mutual fidelity. It is not only taken for granted that the bridegroom rejoices over his bride (Isa 62:5), but given for law. Ecc 9:9, Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of thy life. Those take not their comforts where God has appointed who are jovial and merry with their companions abroad, but sour and morose with their families at home.
3.Let him be fond of his wife and love her dearly (Pro 5:19): Let her be as the loving hind and the pleasant roe, such as great men sometimes kept tame in their houses and played with. Desire no better diversion from severe study and business than the innocent and pleasant conversation of thy own wife; let her lie in thy bosom, as the poor man's ewe-lamb did in his (Sa2 12:3), and do thou repose thy head in hers, and let that satisfy thee at all times; and seek not for pleasure in any other. "Err thou always in her love. If thou wilt suffer thy love to run into an excess, and wilt be dotingly fond of any body, let it be only of thy own wife, where there is least danger of exceeding." This is drinking waters, to quench the thirst of thy appetite, out of thy own cistern, and running waters, which are clear, and sweet, and wholesome, out of thy own well, Pro 5:15. Co1 7:2, Co1 7:3.
4.Let him take delight in his children and look upon them with pleasure (Pro 5:16, Pro 5:17): "Look upon them as streams from thy own pure fountains" (the Jews are said to come forth out of the waters of Judah, Isa 48:1), "so that they are parts of thyself, as the streams are of the fountain. Keep to thy own wife, and thou shalt have," (1.) "A numerous offspring, like rivers of water, which run in abundance, and they shall be dispersed abroad, matched into other families, whereas those that commit whoredom shall not increase," Hos 4:10. (2.) "A peculiar offspring, which shall be only thy own, whereas the children of whoredom, that are fathered upon thee, are, probably, not so, but, for aught thou knowest, are the offspring of strangers, and yet thou must keep them." (3.) "A creditable offspring, which are an honour to thee, and which thou mayest send abroad, and appear with, in the streets, whereas a spurious brood is thy disgrace, and that which thou art ashamed to own." In this matter, virtue has all the pleasure and honour in it; justly therefore it is called wisdom.
5.Let him then scorn the offer of forbidden pleasures when he is always ravished with the love of a faithful virtuous wife; let him consider what an absurdity it will be for him to be ravished with a strange woman (Pro 5:20), to be in love with a filthy harlot, and embrace the bosom of a stranger, which, if he had any sense of honour or virtue, he would loathe the thoughts of. "Why wilt thou be so sottish, such an enemy to thyself, as to prefer puddle-water, and that poisoned too and stolen, before pure living waters out of thy own well?" Note, If the dictates of reason may be heard, the laws of virtue will be obeyed.
II. "See the eye of God always upon thee and let his fear rule in thy heart," Pro 5:21. Those that live in this sin promise themselves secresy (the eye of the adulterer waits for the twilight, Job 24:15); but to what purpose, when it cannot be hidden from God? For, 1. He sees it. The ways of man, all his motions, all his actions, are before the eyes of the Lord, all the workings of the heart and all the outgoings of the life, that which is done ever so secretly and disguised ever so artfully. God sees it in a true light, and knows it with all its causes, circumstances, and consequences. He does not cast an eye upon men's ways now and then, but they are always actually in his view and under his inspection; and darest thou sin against God in his sight, and do that wickedness under his eye which thou durst not do in the presence of a man like thyself? 2. He will call the sinner to an account for it; for he not only sees, but ponders all his goings, judges concerning them, as one that will shortly judge the sinner for them. Every action is weighed, and shall be brought into judgment (Ecc 12:14), which is a good reason why we should ponder the path of our feet (Pro 4:26), and so judge ourselves that we may not be judged.
III. "Foresee the certain ruin of those that go on still in their trespasses." Those that live in this sin promise themselves impunity, but they deceive themselves; their sin will find them out, Pro 5:22, Pro 5:23. The apostle gives the sense of these verses in a few words. Heb 13:4, Whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. 1. It is a sin which men with great difficulty shake off the power of. When the sinner is old and weak his lusts are strong and active, in calling to remembrance the days of his youth, Eze 23:19. Thus his own iniquities having seized the wicked himself by his own consent, and he having voluntarily surrendered himself a captive to them, he is held in the cords of his own sins, and such full possession they have gained of him that he cannot extricate himself, but in the greatness of his folly (and what greater folly could there be than to yield himself a servant to such cruel task-masters?) he shall go astray, and wander endlessly. Uncleanness is a sin from which, when once men have plunged themselves into it, they very hardly and very rarely recover themselves. 2. It is a sin which, if it be not forsaken, men cannot possibly escape the punishment of; it will unavoidably be their ruin. As their own iniquities do arrest them in the reproaches of conscience and present rebukes (Jer 7:19), so their own iniquities shall arrest them and bind them over to the judgments of God. There needs no prison, no chains; they shall be holden in the cords of their own sins, as the fallen angels, being incurably wicked, are thereby reserved in chains of darkness. The sinner, who, having been often reproved, hardens his neck, shall die at length without instruction. Having had general warnings sufficient given him already, he shall have no particular warnings, but he shall die without seeing his danger beforehand, shall die because he would not receive instruction, but in the greatness of his folly would go astray; and so shall his doom be, he shall never find the way home again. Those that are so foolish as to choose the way of sin are justly left of God to themselves to go in it till they come to that destruction which it leads to, which is a good reason why we should guard with watchfulness and resolution against the allurements of the sensual appetite.
“Drink water out of your own cistern,” that is, examine your own resources, do not go to the springs belonging to others, but from your own streams gather for yourself the consolations of life. Do you have metal plates, clothing, beasts of burden, utensils of every kind? Sell them; permit all things to go except your [soul’s] liberty.
Let us return to the sacred Scriptures and “drink water from our own cisterns and running water from our own wells.” Let us drink of the living water, “springing up unto life everlasting.” … Not visible rivers merely watering the earth with its thorns and trees, but enlightening souls.
And I hope, O man, that you imitate the example of this kind, so that you yourself may bear fruit of joy and delight! The sweetness of your grace is within yourself, it sprouts from you, it remains in you, it is within you, that is, the joy of your conscience is to be sought within yourself. Therefore, it says: Drink water from your own vessels, and from the fountains of your own wells (Prov., V, 15).
“Let the fountain of your water be your own and let no stranger share with you.” For all who do not love God are strangers, are antichrists. And although they enter the basilicas, they cannot be numbered among the sons of God. That fountain of life does not belong to them. Even an evil person can have baptism; even an evil person can have prophecy. We find that king Saul had prophecy; he was persecuting the holy David and was filled with the Spirit of prophecy and began to prophesy. Even an evil person can receive the sacrament of the body and blood of the Lord, for about such it has been said, “He who eats and drinks unworthily eats and drinks judgment to himself.” Even an evil person can have the name of Christ, that is, even an evil person can be called Christian; and about these it has been said, “They profaned the name of their God.” Therefore, even an evil man can have all these mysteries. But he cannot have love and be evil. This, then, is the peculiar gift; it is the unique fountain. For drinking of this the Spirit of God encourages you; for drinking of himself the Spirit of God encourages you.
“Drink the waters from your own wells, fresh water from your own source.” … As the prophet Isaiah declares, “You will be like a well-watered garden, like a flowing spring whose waters will never fail. And places emptied for ages will be built up in you. You will lift up the foundations laid by generation after generation. You will be called the builder of fences, the one who turns the pathways toward peace.” … And so it will happen that not only the whole thrust and thought of your heart but even all the wanderings and the straying of your thoughts will turn into a holy and unending meditation on the law of God.
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SUMMARY
Proverbs 5:17 is a pivotal verse within a father's earnest admonition to his son, urging him to find complete sexual and emotional satisfaction exclusively within the covenant of marriage. It serves as a direct continuation of the metaphorical invitation to drink from one's "own cistern" and "fountains," emphasizing that the intimate blessings and joys of conjugal life are to be reserved solely for one's spouse, never to be shared with "strangers" or illicit partners. This verse underscores the divine design for marital exclusivity, safeguarding the sanctity of the marital bond and protecting against the devastating consequences of infidelity.
CONTEXT
Literary Context: Proverbs 5:17 is nestled within a sustained warning against the seductive allure and destructive consequences of sexual immorality, particularly concerning the "adulteress" or "strange woman" (Proverbs 5:1-23). The preceding verses, Proverbs 5:15-16, employ vivid metaphors of "drinking waters out of thine own cistern" and "running waters out of thine own well," symbolizing the refreshing and life-giving pleasures of marital intimacy. Verse 17 directly builds upon this imagery, asserting that these exclusive blessings are to be enjoyed solely within the legitimate marital bond. The subsequent verses (e.g., Proverbs 5:18-23) further elaborate on the joy of fidelity and the bitter end of unfaithfulness, framing the entire chapter as a stark contrast between wisdom's path of purity and folly's path of destruction.
Historical & Cultural Context: In ancient Israel, marriage was the foundational unit of society, crucial for lineage, property inheritance, and social order. Sexual purity and marital fidelity were highly valued and legally protected, with severe penalties for adultery (e.g., Deuteronomy 22:22). The "strange woman" or "adulteress" was not merely a moral threat but also a social and economic danger, capable of leading a man to ruin and poverty, as described in Proverbs 6:26. The emphasis on "thine own" reflects the patriarchal structure where a man's wife was his exclusive possession, and any deviation from this exclusivity threatened the family's honor, stability, and future. The wisdom literature, particularly Proverbs, sought to instill principles that would ensure the flourishing of individuals, families, and the nation within this cultural framework.
Key Themes: Proverbs 5:17 profoundly contributes to several key themes within the book of Proverbs and biblical wisdom literature. Firstly, it champions Marital Exclusivity and Fidelity, asserting that sexual intimacy is a sacred gift designed by God to be shared solely between husband and wife. This exclusivity is presented not as a restriction but as the pathway to true joy and satisfaction, contrasting sharply with the fleeting and destructive pleasures of illicit relationships. Secondly, the verse underscores the theme of Wisdom's Protection and Folly's Destruction. By adhering to the wisdom of marital fidelity, one is protected from the bitter consequences of sexual sin, which are vividly depicted later in the chapter as physical decay, loss of wealth, public shame, and divine judgment (e.g., Proverbs 5:9-14). Finally, it speaks to the broader theme of Self-Control and Discipline, urging the son to exercise restraint and direct his desires toward their proper, God-ordained outlet within marriage, rather than succumbing to the temptations of the "strange woman" and squandering his vitality and resources.
EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS
Key Word Analysis
Verse Breakdown
Literary Devices
Proverbs 5:17 employs several potent literary devices to convey its message with impact. The primary device is Metaphor, as "them" directly references the "waters" and "fountains" from previous verses, which symbolize the life-giving and satisfying nature of marital intimacy. This sustained metaphor makes the abstract concept of sexual fidelity tangible and appealing, portraying it as a source of refreshing sustenance. There is also a strong element of Contrast, pitting "thine own" (referring to the legitimate spouse and exclusive marital relationship) against "strangers" (representing illicit partners and forbidden relationships). This stark juxtaposition highlights the binary choice between wisdom and folly, blessing and curse, emphasizing the clear distinction between God-ordained intimacy and illicit encounters. Furthermore, the verse functions as a piece of Didacticism, characteristic of the book of Proverbs. It is a direct, authoritative instruction from a father to a son, designed to impart practical wisdom for living a righteous and flourishing life, particularly in the realm of sexual ethics, guiding the listener towards a path of purity and integrity.
THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
Proverbs 5:17 beautifully articulates the biblical theology of marriage as an exclusive, covenantal union designed by God for mutual joy, procreation, and companionship. It reflects the divine intention for sexual intimacy to be confined within the sacred bounds of marriage, thereby protecting its purity and power. This exclusivity is not merely a moral rule but a reflection of God's own covenant faithfulness and a safeguard against the spiritual, emotional, and physical devastation that sexual sin inevitably brings. The verse resonates with the creation account's emphasis on the "one flesh" union, underscoring that true satisfaction and blessing flow from honoring God's design for human sexuality.
REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Proverbs 5:17 offers timeless wisdom that transcends ancient cultural contexts, speaking directly to the human heart's desires and temptations. In a world saturated with sexualized imagery and casual attitudes toward intimacy, this verse calls believers to a counter-cultural commitment to marital fidelity and purity. It encourages individuals, whether married or single, to cultivate a deep appreciation for God's design for sexuality. For the married, it is a powerful reminder to intentionally cherish, nurture, and find complete satisfaction within their exclusive marital bond, actively seeking to meet their spouse's needs and guarding against external temptations. This involves intentional communication, shared experiences, and a commitment to ongoing romance and intimacy. For the unmarried, it serves as a foundational principle for future marriage, encouraging a commitment to purity now and a vision for the exclusive joy awaiting within a covenant relationship. Ultimately, it challenges all to recognize that true fulfillment is found not in pursuing fleeting illicit pleasures, but in honoring God's wise boundaries, which are designed for our flourishing, protection, and the deepest possible joy.
Questions for Reflection
FAQ
What do "waters" and "fountains" refer to in this context?
Answer: In Proverbs 5:15-17, the "waters" and "fountains" are rich metaphors for the life-giving, refreshing, and deeply satisfying sexual and emotional intimacy found exclusively within the covenant of marriage. They represent the legitimate and pure pleasures of conjugal love, contrasting sharply with the "stolen waters" of illicit relationships mentioned elsewhere in Proverbs (e.g., Proverbs 9:17). The imagery suggests abundance, purity, and a source of true replenishment that is both exclusive and deeply fulfilling.
Why is marital exclusivity so strongly emphasized in Proverbs 5?
Answer: Marital exclusivity is emphasized because it is foundational to God's design for human relationships and societal well-being. From a biblical perspective, it protects the sanctity of the marriage covenant, ensures the stability of the family unit, and safeguards individuals from the devastating physical, emotional, spiritual, and financial consequences of sexual immorality. The chapter vividly details how infidelity leads to ruin, shame, and loss of life's vitality (e.g., Proverbs 5:7-14). By advocating for exclusivity, Proverbs promotes a path of wisdom that leads to blessing, honor, and lasting joy within the divinely ordained boundaries of marriage, reflecting God's own covenant faithfulness.
Does this verse have any relevance for unmarried individuals?
Answer: Absolutely. While Proverbs 5:17 directly addresses marital exclusivity, its underlying principles of sexual purity, self-control, and guarding one's heart are profoundly relevant for unmarried individuals. It teaches the value of reserving sexual intimacy for the marriage covenant, encouraging a commitment to purity before marriage as preparation for a faithful and exclusive union. For those called to singleness, it reinforces the broader call to sexual purity and holiness, understanding that one's body is a temple of the Holy Spirit (e.g., 1 Corinthians 6:18-20). The wisdom of Proverbs 5:17 establishes a foundational understanding of God's design for sexuality that applies to all stages of life, promoting a lifestyle of integrity and honor before God.
CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
Proverbs 5:17, with its call for exclusive devotion within marriage, finds its ultimate fulfillment and elevation in Christ. While the Old Testament wisdom emphasizes external fidelity and the avoidance of "strangers," Jesus deepens this command by addressing the heart. In the Sermon on the Mount, He declares that lustful looking is already adultery in the heart (Matthew 5:28), thereby extending the principle of exclusivity to one's inner thoughts and desires, demanding a purity that only He can enable. Furthermore, Christ Himself is presented as the ultimate "fountain of living waters" (John 4:10-14), the sole source of true and lasting satisfaction that prevents the need to seek fulfillment in "broken cisterns" or illicit relationships. He offers a spiritual wellspring that truly satisfies the soul. The New Testament also portrays the Church as the Bride of Christ, called to an exclusive and pure devotion to Him, mirroring the marital fidelity advocated in Proverbs (Ephesians 5:25-32). Through the empowering presence of the Holy Spirit, believers are enabled to live out the purity and self-control that Proverbs commands, finding their deepest joy and identity in their union with Christ, thereby fulfilling the spirit of Proverbs 5:17 in a profoundly spiritual and holistic way that transforms both outward behavior and inward desire.