Gregory the Dialogist

37. Most commonly if we know the good things that we do, we are led to entertain pride; if we are ignorant of them, we cannot keep them. For who would not, in however slight degree, be rendered proud by the consciousness of his virtue? or who, again, would keep safe within him that good, which he does not know of? what then remains as a provision against either of these evils, saving that all the good things that we do, in knowing we should not know; so that we both look upon them as right things, and as a mere nothing, that thus the knowledge of their rightness may quicken the soul to a good guard, and the estimation of their littleness may never exalt it in pride? But there are some things which are not easy to be ascertained by us, even when they are doing. For often we are inflamed with a right earnestness against the sins of transgressors, and when we are transported by passion beyond the bounds of justice, we account this the warmth of just severity. We often take upon ourselves the office of preaching, that we may in this way minister to the service of our brethren; but unless we be acceptable to the person, whom we address, nothing that we preach is received with welcome; and while the mind aims to please on useful grounds, it lets itself out after the love of its own praise in a shameful way, and the soul which was busied in rescuing others from captivity to bad habits, being itself made captive, begins to drudge to its own popularity. For the appetite for the applause of our fellow-creatures is like a kind of footpad, who as people are going along the straight road joins them from the side, that the wayfarer's life may be barbarously taken by the dagger drawn out of sight. And when the intention of purposed usefulness is drawn off to our own interests, in a way to make one shudder, sin accomplishes that identical work, which goodness began. Oftentimes even from the very beginning the thought of the heart seeks one thing, the deed exhibits another.
38. Often not even the thought itself proves faithful to itself, in that it sets one object before the mind's eye, and is hurrying far from it after another in real purpose. For very often we find persons who covet earthly rewards, and stand up in defence of justice, and these account themselves innocent, and exult in being the vindicators of right; who if the prospect of money be withdrawn, instantly cease from their defence of justice; and yet they look upon themselves as defenders of justice, and maintain themselves right to themselves, who the while aim not at rightness but money. In opposition to whom it is well said by Moses, That which is just, thou shalt follow justly. [Deut. 16, 20] For he followeth unjustly that which is just, who is moved to the defence of just dealing not by his feeling for virtue, but by his love of temporal rewards. He ‘followeth unjustly that which is just,’ who is not afraid to drive a trade with that justice, which he makes his plea. And so ‘justly to follow what is just’ is in the vindication of justness to make that same justness our end and aim. We often do right things, and are far from looking for rewards, far from seeking applause from our fellowcreatures, yet the mind being set up in self-confidence, scorns to please those from whom it seeks nothing, sets at nought their opinions, and drives itself miserably free along the precipices of pride, and is the worse overwhelmed beneath sin from the same source, whence it boasts, its sins as if subdued, that it is subject to no covetous desires.
39. Often while we sift ourselves more than is meet, by our very aim at discernment we are the more undiscerningly led wrong, and the eye of our mind is dimmed, in proportion as it strives to perceive more; for he too, who determinately looks at the sun's rays, turns darksighted, and is necessitated to see nothing from the very thing in which he strives to see too much. Therefore whereas, if we are backward in our examination, we know nothing at all of ourselves, or, if we search ourselves with an exact scrutiny, we are very often dimsighted to distinguish between virtue and vice, it is rightly said here; Though I were perfect, my soul shall not know it. As if it were expressed plainly, ‘With what foolhardiness do I find fault with God’s judgments upon me, who do not know mine own self by reason of the darkness of my weak condition?’ Whence it is well said by the Prophet, The deep uttered his voice from the height of his imagining. [Hab. 3, 10. LXX.] For the deep sustains a height of imagining, when the human mind, dim with the immensity of thought, even in its very searching does not penetrate itself, but to ‘utter his voice from the height’ is that whilst it is unable to fathom itself, it is constrained to rise up in admiration, so that it never should venture to dive into that which is above it, in proportion as, in taking thought itself of its own incomprehensible being, it cannot make out what it is. But the hearts of the righteous, because they cannot examine themselves to perfection, with difficulty bear this exile of dimsightedness; and hence it is added, and I shall be weary of my life. The righteous man is weary to live, in that both by doing works he does not cease to seek after life, and yet cannot discover the merits of that same life; since he draws the balances of trial out from the bosom of interior Justice, and in himself is disabled for the effecting of discovery from the very cause that, being transported above himself, he is enlarged in the power of inquiring. But the alleviation of our darkness lies in the just and incomprehensible power of the Creator being recalled to mind, which both never leaves the wicked without taking vengeance, and surpasses the righteousness of the just by the boundlessness of its incomprehensibility.

40. The ‘perfect man is destroyed’ by the Creator, in that whatever his pureness may have been, it is swallowed up by the pureness of the divine immensity. For though we take heed to preserve pureness, yet by consideration of the interior Perfection it is shown, that this which we practise is not purity; ‘the wicked’ likewise is ‘destroyed’ by the Creator, in that whilst God ordereth all things marvellously, his wickedness is caught in the noose of his own artifices. For he is even unwittingly involving himself in punishment on the same grounds whereon he wittingly exults in doing any thing. Whereas therefore Almighty God at once surpasses the perfection of the righteous by pureness, and penetrating the craft of the wicked condemns it, it is rightly said, This is one thing, therefore I said it; He destroyeth the perfect and the wicked. As if it were expressed in plain words; ‘I have spoken this word of reflection to myself, that neither being perfect, shall I appear perfect, if I be strictly examined; nor being wicked, if I would lie hid in myself, am I withdrawn from the piercings of heavenly probing, in that the strict Judge in comprehending all things, penetrates the subterfuges of wickedness in a marvellous way; and in ordering for the best, condemns the same by its ‘own devices.’ Or, indeed, He is Himself said to destroy both the perfect and the wicked, in that though they be separated in the life of the soul, yet in due of the first sin, they are alike dragged to the death of the flesh. And hence it is said by Solomon; The learned dieth equally as the unlearned. [Eccl. 2, 16] And again, All things are subject to vanity, and all go to one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again. [Eccl. 3, 20]

41. Who would not suppose that this was uttered in pride, unless he heard the sentence of the Judge, Who pronounces, For ye have not spoken of Me the thing that is right, as My servant Job hath. [Job 42, 7] Therefore it follows, that no one dare to find fault with the author's words, which it appears the Judge commends. But they must be sifted in their inner sense with the greater wariness and nicety, in proportion as they sound the harder on the outside. Thus the holy man surveying the woes of mankind, and considering whence they came, how that man, in consequence of the promise of his enemy, desiring to obtain the knowledge of good and evil, lost his very self too, so that he may say with truth, Though I were perfect, yet my soul shall not know it; how that after the punishment of exile he is further subject to the scourges of corruption, and even after being tormented is still tending to the death of the body, or indeed to the death of the soul, so that he may well say, He destroyeth the perfect and the wicked; in opposition to this he begs the grace of the Mediator, saying, If he scourge, let him slay once for all. For in that we have both in spirit departed from God; and that in flesh we return to dust, we are obnoxious to the punishment of a double death. But there came unto us One, Who in our stead should die the death of the flesh only, and join His single Death to our twofold death, and set us free from either kind. Concerning which it is said by Paul, For in that He died, He died unto sin once. [Rom. 6, 10] Thus let the holy man survey the ills of our state of corruption, and let him seek the one Death of the Mediator, which should cancel our two deaths, and in longing for this, let him say, If He scourge, let Him slay once for all.
42. But mark how that seems as though it were at war with humility, which is immediately introduced, And not laugh at the trial of the innocent. And yet we shall easily perceive this to be a very great piece of humility, if we consider it in a humble spirit. For it is plain to all persons that desire, when deferred, is in every case a pain; as Solomon bears witness, who says, Hope deferred maketh the heart sick. [Prov. 13, 12] Now for God to ‘laugh,’ is His refusing to take pity upon the suffering of man. Hence the Lord saith again, by Solomon, to the children of perdition continuing in sin, I also will laugh at your calamity [Prov. 1, 26]; i.e. ‘I will not compassionate you in your distress with any pity.’ Thus before the coming or our Redeemer, the Elect had all of them their pain, in that with ardent longing, they desired to behold the mystery of His Incarnation, as He Himself bears record, when He says, For I tell you that many Prophets and Kings have desired to see these things which ye see, and have not seen them; [Luke 10, 24] and so the ‘pains of the innocent’ are the desires of the righteous. For so long then as the Lord, taking no pity, deferred the wishes of His Elect, what did He else, but ‘laugh at the pains of the innocent?’ Therefore let the holy man, considering the gifts of the Redeemer that should come, and enduring with pain the delay of his wishes, express himself in the words, If He scourge, let Him slay once for all, and not laugh at the pains of the innocent. As if he besought in plain words, saying, ‘Whereas our life is every day bruised with the scourge of vengeance on account of sin, let Him now appear, Who for our sake may undergo death once for all, without sin, that God may no more ‘laugh at the pains of the innocent,’ if He Himself come subject to suffering in the flesh, in desire of Whom our soul chastens itself.’
43. Or indeed if He uses the expression of God's ‘laughing’ for His joy, the Lord is said ‘to laugh at the pains of the innocent,’ in that the more ardently He is sought of us, the more graciously He rejoices over us. For we as it were cause a kind of joy to Him by our pain, when by holy desires, we chasten ourselves for the love of Him. Hence the Psalmist saith, Appoint a solemn day in frequency, even unto the horns of the altar. [Ps. 118, 27. Vulg.] For he ‘appointeth a solemn day to the Lord in frequency,’ whosoever is continually chastening himself in the desire of Him; and it is enjoined that this same day of solemnity be carried even to the horns of the altar, in that it is necessary that every man chasten himself for so long time, until he attains to the height of the heavenly sacrifice, i.e. unto eternal bliss. Thus the holy man, for that he longs to have his desire fulfilled and no longer deferred, says with humility, Nor laugh at the pains of the innocent. As if he said, ‘Let Him, gladly welcoming our petitions, no longer defer, but by manifesting bring to light Him, who chastens us in the expecting of Himself.’ Now that blessed Job prayed that He in particular might be slain once for all, Who at ‘the end’ of the world underwent for our sake the death of the flesh alone, he immediately makes appear, in that he at the same time subjoins the very course of His Passion.

44. For what is denoted by the designation of ‘the earth,’ saving the flesh? who by the title of ‘the wicked,’ save the devil? The ‘hands’ of this wicked one were they, who were the aggressors in the death of our Redeemer. Thus ‘the earth is given into the hands of the wicked,’ in that our Redeemer's Soul our old enemy could never corrupt, by himself tempting Him. But His Flesh he being permitted did by means of his ministers deprive of life for three days; and unknown to himself, by that very permission, he ministered to the dispensation of God's pitifulness. For assailing our Redeemer with three temptations, he had no power to defile the heart of God. But when he set on the mind of Judas to bring about the death of His fleshly part, and when he gave him a band of soldiers and officers from the Chief Priests and Pharisees, then that wicked one stretched forth his hands upon ‘the earth.’ The judges of this earth were the Priests and Rulers, Pilate and the scoffing soldiers; and so this wicked one ‘covered the faces of the judges thereof,’ in that he veiled the mind of the persecutors, that they should not know their Maker, with a cloud of wickedness. Whence it is said by Paul, But even unto this day, when Moses is read, the vail is upon their heart [2 Cor. 3, 15]; and he says again, For had they known it, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. [1 Cor. 2, 8] And so the face of the judges proved to be covered, in that the mind of the persecutors not even by His miracles ever knew Him to be God, Whom it had power to hold fast in the flesh. But forasmuch as our old enemy is one person with all the wicked, Holy Scripture very often so speaks of the head of the wicked, i.e. the devil, that it suddenly goes off to his body, i.e. to his followers. Therefore it may be that by the name of ‘the wicked one,’ the faithless and persecuting People is denoted, with which this also which is added accords;
If it is not he, who then is it?
45. Who then shall any where be accounted wicked, if that People, which persecuted Pity Itself, be not wicked? But the holy man, after regarding the faithlessness of the Jewish People, calls back the eye of his mind to himself, grieves that he cannot behold Him Whom he loves, is sad and sorrowful that he is withdrawn from the present world, before the Saving Health of the world is manifested.

46. For the business of a post is to tell what is coming after; and so all of the Elect that were born before the coming of the Redeemer, in that either by mode of life only, or by word of mouth likewise, they bore tidings of Him, were like a kind of post in the world. But whereas they foresee themselves withdrawn before the wished for season of Redemption, they mourn that they pass away ‘swifter than a post,’ and they lament that their days are short, because they are never extended so far as to see the light of the Redeemer; whence it is justly said, They flee away, they see no good. All things that have been created are good, as Moses bears record, who says, And God saw every thing that He had made, and, behold, it was very good. [Gen. 1, 31] But that good alone is primarily good, whereby all those are good, which are not primarily good, and of this good, ‘Truth’ saith in the Gospel, None is good save one, that is, God. [Luke 18, 19] Therefore because the days of the former fathers were ended before ever God was manifested to the world in the flesh, it is rightly said of those days, that they fled away, and saw no good. As if it were in plain words, ‘They have passed away before the looked-for season, because they might not attain to the present appearing of the Redeemer.’

50. For as we have already said, the first man was so created that by the accessions of time his life could only be extended, but not spun to an end; but because by his own act and deed he fell into sin, in that he touched that which was forbidden, he was made subject to a transitory career, which man now, oppressed by fondness for the present life, both undergoes and longs for without ceasing. For, that he may not come to an end, he longs to live on, yet by the accessions to life, he is daily advancing to his end, nor does he well discover the added portions of time, what nothings they are, when those things are done and over in a moment which seemed to be long in coming. Let the holy man then view the grounds of his position, and in the voice of mankind bewail the woes of a transitory career, saying, Now my days have been swifter than a post; they are fled away, they have seen no good. As if it were in plain words, ‘Man was created for this end, that he might see good,’ which is God; but because he would not stand in the light, in flying therefrom he lost his eyes; for in the same degree that by sin he began to let himself run out to things below, he subjected himself to blindness, that he should not see the interior light.’ And of those days it is further added with fitness, They are passed away as the ships carrying fruits. For ships, when they ‘carry fruits,’ convey the produce of the land through the waves. Now the land of man was Paradise, which might have kept him unshaken, if by force of innocency he could have stood fast, but, because by sin he fell into the waves of a changeful state, after the land he came into the seas of the present life. Furthermore the fruits of the land were the word of commandment, the power of good works vouchsafed him, the perception of his Creator implanted in his nature. But these fruits, which we refused to eat on the land, we carry through the seas, in that we would not keep unmoved in Paradise the blessings of so many benefits vouchsafed to us, and now we endeavour to preserve them in the midst of temptations. Hasting to our bourn, we are driven forward by the breath of the present life, we are worn out with the tossing of our mutable condition. But whereas by the mystery of the Cross we are made fast to the good gifts implanted in our nature, it is as if we carried fruits by means of wood. And yet this may also be understood in another sense. For ships that carry fruits have sweetness of smell, but have no gravity of weight; and man, when he became an outcast from the joys of Paradise, lost the power of contemplation, and parted with the vigour of his native strength; and when he lifts up himself to seek anew the things above, he is sweetened indeed by the perfume of the memory, but yields no weight of life in meet proportion. Thus he is filled with the odours of fruits, and yet the vessel of our soul is lightly driven hither and thither without steadiness, in that we both call to mind the high state of Paradise with a remembrance of a sweet smell, and are subject to the troublesome waves of temptation arising from the flesh. Hence it is fitly subjoined, As the eagle that hasteth to the prey. For the eagle is suspended in an exceeding lofty flight, and poised in swift speeding skywards, but from the hunger of the belly, he seeks the ground, and suddenly plunges himself downward from on high. Thus, thus the race of man in our first parent fell from on high deep down below, whereas the dignity of its state by creation had hung it aloft in the high region of reason as in the freedom of the skies: but because, contrary to the commandment, he touched the forbidden fruit, he descended to the earth, through the lust of the belly; and it is as if he fed upon flesh after flying, for that he lost those free inhalings of contemplation, and now solaces himself with corporeal delights below. Thus ‘as the eagle that hasteth to the prey,’ our days pass swiftly by; for in proportion as we seek things below, we are hindered from maintaining ourselves in life.
51. But when we revolve such things in our mind by continual reflection, we are silently pressed with the hard questions, why did Almighty God create one, who He foresaw would perish? Why was He, Who is chief in power and chief in goodness, not so minded as to make man such that he could not perish? But when the mind silently asks these questions, it fears lest, by its very audacity in questioning thus, it should break out into pride, and holds itself in with humility, and restrains the thoughts of the heart. But it is the more distressed, that amid the ills that it suffers it is over and above tormented concerning the secret meaning of its condition. Hence here too it is fitly added; If I shall say, I will never speak thus; I change my countenance, and am tormented with grief. For we say, that ‘we never ought to speak thus,’ when transgressing the limit of our frail nature in pushing our enquiries, we reproach ourselves in dread, and are withheld by bethinking ourselves of heavenly awe, in which same withholding, the face of our mind is altered, in that the mind, which in the first instance, failing to comprehend them, boldly investigated things above, afterwards, finding out its own infirmity, begins to entertain awe for what it is ignorant of. But in this very change there is pain, for the mind is very greatly afflicted that, in recompense of the first sin, she is blinded to the understanding of things touching her own self. All that she undergoes she sees to be just. She dreads lest in her pain she be guilty of excess from liberty of speech, she imposes silence on the lips, but the awakened grief is increased by the very act by which it is restrained. Let him say then; If I shall say, I will never speak thus; I change my countenance, and am tormented with grief. For we are then for the most part most grievously afflicted, when, as it were by a studied endeavour after consolation, we try to lighten to ourselves the ills of our afflicted condition; but whoever once considers with minute attention the ills of man propagated by the condemnation of our first parent, it follows that he must be afraid to add his own deeds thereto.

47. They that traverse seas transporting fruits, do themselves indeed enjoy the smell of the same, but the food thereof they convey to others. What else then did the ancient Fathers show themselves, saving ships carrying fruits? They indeed in foretelling the mystery of God's Incarnation, themselves enjoyed the sweet odour of hope, but to ourselves they brought down the fruit by the completion of that hope. For what they but smelled at in expecting, we are replenished with in seeing and receiving. And hence That same Redeemer saith to His disciples, Other men laboured, and ye are entered into their labours. [John 4, 38] And their days are likened to ships, because they pass by on their way, and very properly to those bearing fruits, for all the Elect severally, whom they carried before the Redeemer's coming, through the Spirit of prophecy, they were enabled to refresh with the expectation, but not to feed with the manifest appearing. Or, surely, whereas when ships carry fruits, they mix chaff with them, in order that they may transport them to land without injury, the days of the Fathers of yore are rightly described as like to ships bearing fruits, for in that the sayings of the Ancients tell of the mysteries of the spiritual life, they preserve these by means of the intermingled chaff of the history, and they bring down to us the fruit of the Spirit under a covering, when they speak to us carnal things. For often whilst they relate circumstances proper to themselves, they are exalted to the secrets of the Divine Nature. And often while they gaze at the loftiness of the Divine Nature, ‘they are suddenly plunged into the mystery of the Incarnation. Hence it is still further added with fitness,
As the eagle that hasteth to the prey.
48. For it is of the habits of the eagle to gaze at the sun's rays with unrecoiling eye; but when it is pressed by need of sustenance, it turns the same pupil of the eye, which it had fixed on the rays of the sun, to the ken of the carcase, and though it flies high in air, it seeks the earth for the purpose of getting flesh. Thus, surely, thus was it with the old fathers, who as far as the frailty of human nature permitted it, contemplated the sight of the Creator with uplifted soul, but foreseeing Him destined to become incarnate at the end of the world, they as it were turned away their eyes to the ground from gazing at the rays of the sun; and they as it were descend from highest to lowest, whilst they see Him to be God above all things, and Man among all things; and whilst they behold Him, Who was to suffer and to die for mankind, by which same Death they know that they are themselves restored and fashioned anew to life, as it were like the eagle, after gazing at the rays of the sun, they seek their food upon the dead Body. It is good to view the Eagle gazing at the rays of the Sun, which saith, The mighty God, The Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace. [Is. 9, 6] But let him come down from the high flight of his lofty range to earth, and seek below the food of the carcase. For he adds a little while after, saying, The chastisement of our peace was upon Him, and with His stripes we are healed. [Is. 53, 5] And again, And He is man, and who shall know Him? [Jer. 17, 9. LXX] Thus the mind of the righteous man being lifted up to the Divine Nature, when it sees the grace of the Economy in His Flesh, as it were ‘hasteth’ suddenly from on high like an ‘eagle to the prey.’ ‘But mark; that Israelitish People, which was for long watered with the Spirit of prophecy above measure, lost those same gifts of prophecy, and never continued in that faith, which in foreseeing it had proclaimed, and, by disowning, put away from itself that Presence of the Redeemer, which, by foretelling, it clearly delivered to all its followers. Hence, immediately, his speech is suitably made to turn, in sympathy, to their obduracy, and it is shown how the Spirit of prophecy is taken away from them.

For we say that “we never ought to speak this way” when we transgress the limits of our frail nature by excessive questioning. We reproach ourselves in dread and are restrained by reminding ourselves of heavenly awe, in which our mind’s face is altered. The mind, in the first instance, failing to comprehend its limits, is boldly investigating things above. Afterwards, discovering its own infirmity, it begins to entertain awe for what it is ignorant of. However, in this very change there is pain, for the mind is very greatly afflicted that, in payment for the first sin, it is blinded to the understanding of things touching it.… Therefore, because our very good actions themselves cannot escape the sword of ambushed sin unless they are guarded every day by anxious fear, it is rightly said by the holy man in this place, “I was afraid of all my works.” It is as if he said with humble confession, “What I have done publicly, I know, but what I may have been secretly subject to through this I cannot tell.” For often our good points are spoiled by deceit robbing us, in that the earthly desires unite themselves to our righteous actions. Oftentimes they come to nothing from sloth intervening, in that, when love grows cold, they are starved of the fervor in which they began. Therefore, because the stealth of sin has scarcely got the better of those even in the very act of virtue, what safeguard remains for our security? Even in our virtue, we always tread with fear and caution. What he adds after this presents itself as a very great difficulty to the mind: “I know that you would not spare one that offends.” For if there be no “sparing of one that offends,” who can be rescued from eternal death, seeing that there is no one to be found clear of sin? Or does this mean, alternatively, that God does spare one who repents but not one that offends (on the premise that when we bewail our offenses, we are no longer offending)?

52. What were the works that blessed Job practised, the text of this sacred history makes plain. For he studied to propitiate his Maker by numberless burnt offerings; in that according to the number of his sons, as it is written, rising up early in the morning, he offered burnt offerings for each, and purified them not only from impure actions, but likewise from bad thoughts. Of whom it is recorded, by the witness of Scripture, For Job said, It may be that my sons have sinned, and cursed [Lat. blessed] God in their hearts. [Job 1, 5] He exercised the feeling of sympathy, in that he declares of himself, when he was importuned by the interrogations of his friends, Did not I weep for him that was in trouble? [Job 30, 25] He discharged the office of pity, as he says, I was an eye to the blind, and a foot was I to the lame. [Job 29, 15] He kept pureness of chastity in heart, in that he discovers himself openly with adjuration, saying, If mine heart have been deceived by a woman. [Job 31, 9] He held the very topmost point of humility, from the grounds of his heart, who saith, If I did despise to be judged with my manservant or my maidservant, when they contended with me. [ver. 13] He bestowed the bounties of liberality, who saith, Or have eaten my morsel myself alone, and the fatherless hath not eaten thereof? [ver. 17] And again; If his loins have not blessed me, and if he were not warmed with the fleece of my sheep. [ver. 20] He displayed the kindness of hospitality, who says, The stranger did not lodge in the street; but I opened my doors to the traveller. [ver. 32] And in the midst of these things, for the consummation of his virtues, by that more excellent way of charity, he even loved his very enemies, in that he says, If I rejoiced at the destruction of him that hated me. [ver. 29] And again, Neither have I suffered my mouth to sin, by wishing a curse to his soul. [ver. 30] Why then was the holy man ‘afraid for his works,’ in that he ever practised these, by which God is wont to be softened towards transgressions? How then is it, that while doing works to be admired, he even fears for these same, being in alarm, when he says, I was afraid of all my works, save that we gather from the deeds and the words of the holy man, that if we really desire to please God, after we overcome our bad habits, we must fear the very things themselves that are done well in us?
58. For there are two particulars which must of necessity be seriously apprehended in our good works, viz. sloth and deceit. And hence it is said by the Prophet, as the old translation has it, Cursed be he that doeth the work of the Lord deceitfully and negligently. [Jer. 48, 10] Now it is to be carefully noted, that sloth comes of insensibility, deceit of self-love, for over little love of God gives magnitude to the first, while self-love, miserably possessing the mind, engenders the other. For he is guilty of deceit in the work of God, whosoever loving himself to excess, by that which he may have done well, is only making the best of his way to transitory good things in compensation. We must bear in mind too that there are three ways in which deceit itself is practised, in that, surely, the object aimed at in it is either the secret interest of our fellow creatures’ feelings, or the breath of applause, or some outward advantage; contrary to which it is rightly said of the righteous man by the prophet, Blessed is he that shaketh his hands clear of every favour. [Is. 33, 15] For as deceit does not consist only in the receiving of money; so, no doubt, a favour is not confined to one thing, but there are three ways of receiving favours after which deceit goeth in haste. For a favour from the heart, is interest solicited in the opinion, a favour from the mouth is glory from applause, a favour from the head a reward by gift. Now every righteous man ‘shaketh his hands clear of every favour,’ in that in whatever he does aright, he neither aims to win vainglory from the affections of his fellow creatures, nor applause from their lips, nor a gift from their hands. And so he alone is not guilty of deceit in doing God's work, who while he is energetic in studying right conduct, neither pants after the rewards of earthly substance [corporalis rei], nor after words of applause, nor after favour in man's judgment. Therefore because our very good actions themselves cannot escape the sword of ambushed sin, unless they be guarded every day by anxious fear, it is rightly said in this place by the holy man, I was afraid of all my works. As if he said with humble confession, ‘What I have done publicly, I know, but what I may have been secretly subject to therein, I cannot tell.’ For often our good points are spoilt by deceit robbing us, in that earthly desires unite themselves to our right actions; oftentimes they come to nought from sloth intervening, in that, love waxing cold, they are starved of the fervour in which they began. And so because the stealth of sin is scarcely got the better of even in the very act of virtue, what safeguard remains for our security, but that even in our virtue, we ever tread with fear and caution?
54. But what he adds after this presents itself as a very great difficulty to the mind; I know that Thou wouldest not spare one that offendeth. For if there be no ‘sparing of one that offendeth,’ who can be rescued from death eternal, seeing that there is no one to be found clear of sin? Or does He spare a penitent, but not one that offendeth, in that whilst we bewail our offences we are no longer offending? Yet how is it that Peter is looked at, while he is denying, and that by the look of his denied Redeemer he is brought to tears? How is it that Paul, when he was bent to do out the name of our Redeemer upon earth, was vouchsafed to hear His words from heaven? Yet was sin punished both in the one and in the other. In that of Peter on the one hand it is written, as the Gospel is witness, And Peter remembered the word of Jesus, and went out, and wept bitterly. [Luke 22, 61. 62.] And of Paul, that very same ‘Truth’ Which called him, saith, For I will show him how great things he must suffer for My Name's sake. [Acts 9, 16] Therefore God never doth ‘spare him that offendeth,’ in that He never leaves his sin without taking vengeance on it. For either man himself in doing penance punishes it in himself, or God in dealing [h] with man in vengeance for it, visits it with His rod, and thus there is never any sparing of sin, in that it is never loosed without vengeance. Thus David after his confession obtained to hear, The Lord also hath put away thy sin. [2 Sam. 12, 13] And yet being afterwards scourged ‘with numberless afflictions, and a fugitive, he discharged the obligation of the sin which he had been guilty of. So we by the water of salvation are absolved from the sin of our first parent; and yet in clearing off the obligations of that same sin, although absolved, we still undergo the death of the flesh. Therefore it is well said, I know that thou wouldest not spare one that offendeth. In that either by ourselves or by His own self He cuts off even when He lets off our sins. For from His Elect He is studious to wipe off by temporal affliction those spots of wickedness, which He would not behold in them for ever. But it oftentimes happens that when the mind is fearful more than behoves, when it is shaken with alarm, when it is pressed with ill-omened misgivings, it feels weary that it should live, in that it questions the attaining to life even through pains and labour.

56. For ‘snow water’ is the weeping of humility; which same, in that it excels all other virtues in the eyes of the strict Judge, is as it were white by the colour of preeminent merit. For there are some to whom there is lamenting but not humility, in that when they are afflicted they weep, yet in those very tears, they either set themselves in disdain against the life of their neighbours, or they are lifted up against the dispensation of their Maker. Such have water, but not ‘snow water,’ and they can never be clean, because they are not washed in the tears of humility. But he had washed himself clean from sin with snow water, who said with confidence, A broken and a humbled heart, O God, Thou shalt not despise. [Ps. 51, 17] For they that afflict themselves with tears but turn rebels by murmuring, ‘break’ their heart indeed, but disdain to be ‘humbled.’ Though ‘snow water’ may also be understood in another sense. For water of the spring and stream issues out of the earth, but snow water is let fall from the sky. And there are very many, who torment themselves in the wailings of supplication, yet with all their pains in bewailing they spend themselves upon earthly objects of desire alone. They are pierced with anguish in their prayers, but it is the joys of transitory happiness that they are in search of. And so these are not washed with ‘snow water,’ because their tears come from below. For it is as if they were bathed in water of earth, who are pierced with grief in their prayers, on account of earthly good things. But they who lament for this reason, because they long for the rewards on high [or ‘from on high’], are washed clean in snow water, in that heavenly compunction overflows them. For when they seek after the everlasting land by tears, and inflamed with longing for it lament, they receive from on high that whereby they may be made clean. Now by ‘the hands’ what else is denoted saving ‘works?’ Whence it is said to certain persons by the Prophet; Your hands are full of blood, [Is. 1, 15] i.e. ‘your works are full of cruelty.'
57. But it is to be observed, that the holy man does not say, And make my hands shine ever so clean, but as if never so clean. For so long as we are tied and bound by the penalty of a corrupt state, we never by whatsoever right works appropriate real cleanness to ourselves, but only imitate it, And hence it is fitly added, Yet Thou shalt stain me with filth. For God ‘to stain us with filth’ means His showing us to be stained with filth; in that in proportion as we more truly rise up to Him by good works, the more exactly we are made to know the filthiness of our life, by which we are rendered at variance with His pureness. Thus he saith, If I wash myself with snow water, and make my hands shine as if never so clean; yet shalt Thou stain me with filthinesses. As if it were expressed in plain words, ‘Though I be steeped in tears of heavenly compunction, though I be exercised in the courses of good works, yet in Thy pureness I perceive that I am not pure.’ For the flesh itself, which is still subject to corruption, beats off the spirit when it is intent on God, and stains the beauty of the love of Him by foul and unhallowed movements of thought.
58. Hence too it is added, And mine own clothes shall abhor me. For what is denoted by the name of ‘clothes’ saving this earthly body, with which the soul is endued and covered, that it may not be seen naked in the subtleness of its substance? For hence Solomon saith, Let thy garments be always white, [Eccl. 9, 8] i.e. the members of the body clean from filthy acts. Hence Isaiah saith, A garment mixed in blood shall be for burning. [Is. 9, 5. Vulg.] For to ‘mix garments in blood’ is to defile the body with fleshly desires; which same the Psalmist dreaded to be defiled with, when he said, Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, Thou That art the God of my health. [Ps. 51, 16] Hence it is delivered to John by the voice of the Angel, Thou hast a few names in Sardis, which have not defiled their garments. [Rev. 3, 4] But according to the way of Holy Writ, our clothes are said ‘to abhor us,’ in that they make us to be abhorred; in like manner as it is also said of Judas by Peter, Now this man purchased a field with the reward of iniquity. [Acts 1, 18] For Judas never could have purchased the potter's field, which was bought with the price of blood, in that restoring the thirty pieces of silver, he straightway punished the guilt of the betrayal by a death with greater guilt inflicted on himself, but ‘he purchased’ is rendered, he ‘was the cause of purchasing.’ So in this place, Mine own garments shall abhor me, means, ‘shall make me to be abhorred.’ For whilst the members set themselves up against the spirit, whilst they break in upon the engagements of holy desire, ‘by the tumult of temptations that are caused by them, the soul being set in its own conflict learns how meanly it is still regarded by the Divine Being, in that while it fully desires to go through with the chastising of self and is not able, it is defiled by the dust of filthy thoughts. He felt this ‘abhorrence of the clothes,’ who said, But I see another law in my members warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin, which is in my members. [Rom. 7, 23] These very garments, in which he could not be entirely pleasing, he anxiously desired to lay aside, one day to be resumed much better, saying, O wretched man that I am, who shall deliver me from the body of this death? [Rom. 7, 24] Therefore let the righteous man say, If I wash myself as with snow water, and make my hands shine as if never so clean, yet shalt Thou still stain me with filthiness, and mine own clothes shall abhor me. In that howsoever he might have been transported on high in the compunctious visitings of contemplation, however he might have braced himself in practice by the exercise of pains, yet he is still sensible of somewhat unmeet derived from a body of death, and sees himself to be abominable in many things, which he bears about him from his load of corruption. And this too becomes a worse affliction to him, that he often cannot make out by what means he is an offender. He undergoes scourges, but knows nothing what in him is greater, or what less, that displeases the severe Judge. And hence it is added,
32. For He is not a man, such as I am, that I should answer Him, or that He can be heard with me in Judgment on an equal footing.
59. When we ‘contend with another in judgment on an equal footing,’ we both learn what is urged against us, and in all we allege we are heard, and in proportion as we apprehend the points openly objected, we reply with boldness to the points propounded. In this way forasmuch as the invisible Judge sees all that we do, it is as if He hears things that we say. But because we never know fully the thing that displeases Him, it is as if what He Himself says, we know not. Thus the holy man, considering the ‘abhorrence of his own clothes,’ is the more filled with fears, that he cannot ‘be heard with Him in judgment on an equal footing.’ In that so long as he is burthened with the load of his corruption, he meets with this worst evil in his punishment, that he does not even know the view that his Reprover takes. As though he said in plain words; ‘Herein I am not heard on an equal footing, in that while all that I do is open to view, yet I myself cannot tell under what liabilities I am arrested.’

60. It sounds hard that any should be sought who might convict God, but it will not be hard, if we recall to mind what He Himself says by another Prophet; for He charges us by Isaiah, Cease to do evil, learn to do well. Seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow. Come, and convict [arguite] Me, saith the Lord. [Is. 1, 16—18.] For one whom we convict, we encounter with the authority of reason. And what is this, that when the Lord bids us do holy actions, He adds, Come, and convict Me, but that He plainly intimates the great assurance He vouchsafes to good works? As if it were said in plain words, ‘Do right, and then no longer meet the motions of My displeasure by the groan of entreaty, but by the confident voice of authority.’ For it is hence that John saith, If our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God. [I John 3, 21] It is hence that Moses, in that he is acceptable in rendering service, is heard while keeping silence, where it is said to him when he was silent, Wherefore criest thou unto Me? [Ex. 14, 15] It is hence that he withholds Him waxing wrath, when he hears the words, Now therefore let Me alone, that My wrath may wax hot against this people. [Ex. 32, 10] It is hence that the Lord complains that He had no one to convict Him, where it is said by the Prophet, And I sought for a man among them that should make up the hedge, and stand in the way against Me for the land, that I should not destroy it, but I found none. [Ez. 22, 30] It is hence that Isaiah laments bitterly, saying, And we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities like the wind have taken us away. And there is none that calleth upon Thy Name, that stirreth up himself to take hold of Thee. [Is. 64, 6. 7.]
61. Now any of the righteous may sometimes be able to resist the visitations of a present judgment, by the merits of a derived innocency, but they have no power by their own goodness to rid mankind of the woes of the death to come. Therefore let the holy man bethink himself whereunto the human race has run out, let him cast his eye on the woes of eternal death, which it is plain that human righteousness can never withstand, let him see how frowardly man has offended, let him see how severely the wrath of the Creator is directed against man, and let him call for the Mediator between God and man, God and Man in one, forasmuch as he beholds Him destined to come long after; let him lament and say, Neither is there any that is able to convict both of us, and to lay his hand upon us both. For the Redeemer of Mankind, who was made the Mediator between God and Man through the flesh, because that He alone appeared righteous among men, and yet, even though without sin, was notwithstanding brought to the punishment of sin, did both convict man, that he might not sin, and withstand God, that He might not smite; He gave examples of innocency that He took upon Him the punishment due to wickedness. Thus by suffering He convinced both the One and the other, in that He both rebuked the sin of man by infusing righteousness, and moderated the wrath of the Judge by undergoing death; and He ‘laid His hand upon both,’ in that He at once gave examples to men which they might imitate, and exhibited in Himself those works to God, by which He might be reconciled to men. For before Him there never was forthcoming One, Who interceded for the guiltinesses of others in such wise, as not to have any of His own. Therefore none could encounter eternal death in the case of others, in the degree that he was bound by the guilt of his own. Therefore there came to men a new Man, as to sin a rebuker, as to punishment a befriender. He manifested miracles, He underwent cruel treatment. Thus He laid His hand upon both, for by the same steps by which He taught the guilty good things, He appeased the indignant Judge. And He did this too the more marvellously by His very miracles themselves, in that He reformed the hearts of offenders by mildness rather than by terror.

63. For the holy man, because he beholds the Redeemer of the world coming in meekness, does not assume fear towards a Master, but affection towards a Father. And he looks down on fear, in that through the grace of adoption he rises up to love. Hence John says; There is no fear in love, but perfect love casteth out fear. [1 John 4, 18] Hence Zachariah says, That we being delivered out of the hand of our enemies might serve Him without fear. [Luke 1, 74] Therefore fear had no power to raise us from the death of sin, but the infused grace of meekness erected us to the seat of life. Which is well denoted by Elisha when he raised the child of the Shunamite. [2 Kings 4] He, when he sent his servant with a staff, never a whit restored life to the dead child; but upon coming in his own person, and spreading himself upon the dead body, and contracting himself to its limbs, and walking to and fro, and breathing several times into the mouth of the dead body, he forthwith quickened it to the light of new life through the ministering of compassion. For God, the Creator of mankind, as it were grieved for His dead son, when He beheld us with compassion killed by the sting of iniquity. And whereas He put forth the terror of the Law by Moses, He as it were sent the rod by the servant. But the servant could not raise the dead body with the staff; because, as Paul bears witness, The Law made nothing perfect. [Heb. 7, 19] But when He came in His own Person, and spread Himself in humility upon the dead body, He contracted Himself to match the limbs of the dead body to Himself. Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God; but made Himself of no reputation, and took upon Him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men; and found in fashion as a man. [Phil. 2, 6—8.] He ‘walks to and fro’ also, in that He calls Judaea nigh at hand, and the Gentiles afar off. He breathes upon the dead body several times, in that by the publishing of the Divine gift, He bestows the Spirit of sevenfold grace upon those that lie prostrate in the death of sin. And afterwards it is raised up alive, in that the child, whom the rod of terror could not raise up, has been brought back to life by the Spirit of love. Therefore let him say in himself, and in the voice of mankind, Let Him take His rod away from me, and let not His fear terrify me. Then would I speak, and not fear Him. Where it is fitly added,
For I cannot respond whilst I fear.
64. We are said to respond to any one, when we pay back deeds worthy of his doings. Therefore to ‘respond’ to God, is to render back our services in return for His previous gifts. And hence it is that certain of the Psalms, in which holy practice is set forth for imitation are prenoted as written ‘to respond.’ Thus God created man upright, and bore with him in long-suffering, when he let himself out to do froward deeds. Every day He beholds sin, and yet does not quickly cut off the periods of life. He lavishes His gifts in loving-kindness, and exercises patience towards evildoers. Man ought to respond to so many benefits, yet ‘he is not able to respond whilst he fears,’ in that everyone that continues to dread with a slavish fear the Creator of mankind, assuredly does not love Him. For we then only render real services to God, when we have no fear of Him through the confidence of our love, when affection, not fear, directs us to good works, when sin is now no longer pleasing to our mind, even if it were allowed us. For everyone that is restrained by fear alone from the practice of evil, would gladly do evil things if liberty were given him. He then is in no whit really righteous, who is still not free from the hankering after evil; and so it is well said, For I cannot respond while I fear. In that we do not render real service to God, so long as we obey His commandments from fear, and not much rather from love. But when the love of His sweetness is kindled in our mind, all desire of the present life goes for little, fondness is turned into weariness, and the mind endures with sorrow this same, which she formerly served, under the dominion of an accursed love.

My soul is weary of my life.
65. Now whensoever the present life has once begun to grow tasteless, and the love of the Creator to become sweet, the soul inflames itself against self, that it may accuse self for the sins, wherein it formerly vindicated itself, being ignorant of the things above. Whence he yet further adds with propriety,
I will let my speech go against myself.
66. He as it were employs his speech in behalf of himself, who tries to defend by excuses the evil things he has done. But he ‘lets his speech go against himself,’ who begins to accuse himself of that which he has done amiss. Now very frequently even when we commit sin, we go on to try the things we have done. The mind of itself brings what it does to trial; but forasmuch as it does not at all forsake this in the desire, it is ashamed to acknowledge what it has done; but when it now comes down upon the indulgence of the flesh with the whole weight of its judgment, it lifts itself with a bold voice in the acknowledgment of that self-accusing. Whence it is rightly said here, I will let my speech go against myself; in that the resolute mind begins to let loose against itself words of abhorrence, which aforetime from a feeling of shame it kept to itself through weakness. But there be some that confess their sins in explicit words, but yet know nothing how to bewail in confessing them. And they utter things with pleasure, that they ought to bewail. Hence it is further added with propriety;
I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.
67. He that tells his sins abhorring them, must needs likewise ‘speak of them in the bitterness of his soul,’ that that very bitterness may punish whatsoever the tongue accuses of in the warrant of conscience. But we must bear in mind, that from the pains of penitence, which the mind inflicts upon itself, it derives a certain degree of security; and rises with the greater confidence to meet the inquest of the heavenly Judge, that it may make itself out more thoroughly, and ascertain how each particular is appointed towards, it.

68. Whereas he declares himself a sinner ‘in the bitterness of his soul,’ what else does he say to God, but that he may not be condemned, in that the bitterness of his present penance does away with the pains of ensuing wrath? Now God judgeth man in this life in two ways, seeing that either by present ills He is already beginning to bring upon him the torments to come, or else by present scourges He does away with the torments to come. For except there were some whom the just Judge, as the due of their sins, did both now and hereafter visit, Jude would never have said, The Lord afterwards destroyed them that believed not. [Jude 5] And the Psalmist would not say of the wicked, Let them cover themselves with their own confusion as with a lined cloak [diploide]. [Ps. 109, 29] For we mean by ‘a lined cloak’ a double garment. And so they are ‘clothed with confusion as with a double garment,’ who according to the due reward of their sin are at once visited with both a temporal and an everlasting judgment. For chastisement delivers those alone from woe, whom it alters. For those whom present evils do not amend, they conduct to those which are to ensue. But if there were not some whom present punishment preserves from eternal woe, Paul would never have said, But when we are Judged we are chastened of the Lord, that we should not be condemned with the world. [1 Cor. 11, 32] Hence it is spoken to John by the voice of the Angel, As many as I love I rebuke and chasten. [Rev. 3, 19] Hence also it is written, For whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom He receiveth. [Heb. 12, 6]
69. Therefore it often happens that the mind of the righteous man, in order to be made more secure, is the more penetrated with fear, and when he is beset with scourges, he is troubled with misgivings about the Judgment of the Most High. He fears lest all that he suffers should be the forerunner of the doom to ensue, and in his heart he questions the Judge, in that under His visitation he is full of doubts about the merit of his life. But when the goodness of his life is brought before the eyes of the mind, it is as if comfort were given in answer by the Judge, in that He never strikes to destroy him, whom by so striking He keeps in innocency of life and conduct. Therefore it is justly said here, show me wherefore Thou so judgest me. As if it were expressed in plain words, ‘Whereas Thou exercisest judgment upon me by scourging me, show me that by these scourges Thou art making me secure against the Judgment.’ Which same however may also be understood in another sense. For very often the righteous man receives scourges for trial, and examining his life with the keenest eye of enquiry, though he both feel and own himself to be a sinner, yet for what particular sin he is smitten he cannot at all make out, and he trembles the more under the rod, in proportion as he knows nothing the reasons of his being smitten. He prays that the Judge would show him to himself, that what He in striking aims at, he may himself also chastise in himself by weeping. For he is well assured that That most just Avenger never afflicts anyone of us unjustly, and he is moved with excessive alarm, in that he is both put to pain under the lash, and cannot entirely discover in himself what there is for him to lament.

Therefore it often happens that the mind of the righteous man, in order to be made more secure, is the more penetrated with fear, and when he is beset with scourges, he is troubled with misgivings about the judgment of the Most High. He fears lest all that he suffers should be the forerunner of an ensuing doom. In his heart, he questions the Judge with the result that under his visitation he is full of doubts about the merit of his life. However, when the goodness of his life is brought before the eyes of the mind, it is as if the Judge gave comfort in the answer whereby he never strikes to destroy but strikes to sustain the innocency of life and conduct. Therefore, it is justly said here, “Show me why you judge me so.” As if it were expressed in plain words, “Whereas you exercise judgment upon me by scourging me, show me that by these scourges you are making me secure against judgment.” … This same thing is also said by way of a negating interrogation, as though it were said in plain terms: “You who are supremely good, I know do not hold it good to oppress the poor man by calumny. Therefore, I know that it is not unjust that I am suffering, and I am the more grieved that I cannot tell the causes of its justness.”

70. This same is so said by way of interrogation, that it is denied. As though it were in plain terms; ‘Thou That art supremely good, I know dost not hold it good to oppress the poor man by calumny. And therefore I know that that is not unjust that I am suffering, and I am the more grieved, that cannot tell the causes of its justness.’ But observe that he does not say, That Thou shouldest oppress the innocent, but, the poor man. For he who doth not represent his innocency, but his poorness to the severity of the Judge, does not now put on a bold front on the ground of his own life, but shows of how little strength he sees himself to be. Where also he fitly subjoins, The work of Thine hands. As if he said plainly, ‘Thou canst not ever unfeelingly oppress him, whom Thou rememberest Thyself to have made of Thy mere grace.’
71. Now the words are excellently put in, And help the counsel of the wicked. For whom does he here call wicked, save the malignant spirits, who as they cannot themselves return back to life, mercilessly look out for fellows in destruction. Whose counsel it was that God's stroke should visit blessed Job, that he who showed himself righteous while at peace, might at all events commit sin under the scourge. Now the Lord did not ‘help the counsel of the wicked,’ in that whilst He gave up the flesh of the righteous man to their arts of temptation, He withheld his soul. It is this counsel that the evil spirits incessantly persevere in against the good, that those, whom they see serving God in innocency while at rest, on being stricken by misfortune may go headlong into a whirlpool of sin. But the sharpness of their counsel is brought to nought, in that our pitiful Creator qualifies the strokes in accordance with our powers, that the infliction may not exceed our virtue, and by the craftiness of the strong ones man's weakness be thrown out of course. Hence it is well said by Paul, But God is faithful, Who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able, but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. For except the merciful God tempered His trials to correspond with our powers, there is surely no man who could sustain the cunning plots of evil spirits without being brought to the ground, in that excepting the Judge assign a measure to our temptations, by this alone He at once throws down one standing, in that He puts upon him a burthen too much for his strength. Now blessed Job, in the way of denying, so put in a question the things which he uttered, even as in asking he denies the things which he thereupon subjoins.