Job 9:21

[Though] I [were] perfect, [yet] would I not know my soul: I would despise my life.

Though I were perfect {H8535}, yet would I not know {H3045} my soul {H5315}: I would despise {H3988} my life {H2416}.

"I am innocent. Don't I know myself? But I've had enough of this life of mine!

Though I am blameless, I have no concern for myself; I despise my own life.

I am perfect; I regard not myself; I despise my life.

Commentary

Context of Job 9:21

Job 9:21 is part of Job's deeply emotional and theological response to Bildad's arguments, which insisted that God only punishes the wicked and that Job's suffering must therefore be a result of his sin. In this chapter, Job acknowledges God's immense power, wisdom, and sovereignty, describing Him as an unstoppable force (Job 9:4). However, Job struggles to reconcile this awe-inspiring power with his own blameless suffering. He feels overwhelmed and unjustly afflicted, believing that even if he were perfectly righteous, it would make no difference in his current plight before such an unfathomable God. This verse encapsulates Job's profound despair and feeling of alienation, echoing sentiments found elsewhere in his laments, such as when he declares, 'I loathe my life; I would not live alway'.

Key Themes and Messages

  • The Incomprehensibility of God's Ways: Job expresses a sense that God's actions and judgments are beyond human understanding, making any human attempt at self-justification or even understanding one's own standing before Him futile. Even if Job were perfectly righteous, he feels it wouldn't change his situation or allow him to comprehend God's dealings.
  • Profound Despair and Self-Alienation: The verse reveals the depth of Job's suffering, leading him to a state where he no longer recognizes or values his own existence. "I would not know my soul" suggests a disorientation or a loss of self in the face of overwhelming pain and divine mystery. "I would despise my life" is a stark declaration of utter weariness and a rejection of life itself.
  • The Futility of Human Righteousness (in the face of Divine Power): Job is not denying his integrity but questioning its practical value when God's power is so immense and seemingly arbitrary in its application of suffering. He feels that even perfection would not grant him understanding or respite from his affliction. This highlights the human struggle to reconcile personal integrity with intense suffering, a theme explored in passages like Psalm 34:19, "Many are the afflictions of the righteous".

Linguistic Insights

  • "perfect" (ืชึผึธื - tam): The Hebrew word tam here refers to being blameless, upright, or complete in character and conduct. It doesn't necessarily imply sinless perfection in an absolute theological sense, but rather integrity and moral soundness in contrast to the accusations of his friends. Job is asserting his blamelessness concerning the specific sins his friends accuse him of, not claiming to be without any flaw.
  • "know my soul" (ืึตื“ึทืข ื ึทืคึฐืฉืึดื™ - eda nafshi): This phrase is somewhat ambiguous. It can mean "I would not acknowledge myself," "I would not recognize my own innocence," or even "I would not care for my own life." The KJV's rendering captures the disorientation and sense of estrangement Job feels from his own identity and righteousness in the face of God's overwhelming majesty and inexplicable actions.
  • "despise my life" (ืึถืžึฐืึทืก ื—ึทื™ึผึธื™ - em'as chayyay): The verb em'as means "to reject," "to loathe," or "to scorn." This is a powerful expression of deep despair and weariness with life, indicating that Job has reached a point of profound spiritual and emotional exhaustion where life itself has become a burden.

Practical Application

Job 9:21 offers profound insights into the human experience of suffering and faith:

  1. Acknowledging Despair: This verse validates the deep despair and sense of disorientation that can accompany intense suffering, even for those who are righteous. It shows that it is normal to feel overwhelmed and question life's meaning when faced with prolonged affliction.
  2. God's Sovereignty and Mystery: It reminds us that God's ways are often beyond our full comprehension. While we seek to understand, there are times when faith must rest in God's character even when His actions seem mysterious or contrary to our expectations of justice.
  3. Empathy for the Suffering: Job's raw honesty should cultivate empathy in us for those who are struggling. Instead of offering simplistic answers or accusations, we are called to sit with the suffering and acknowledge the depth of their pain, much like Job's friends initially did before they started accusing him.
  4. The Enduring Value of Integrity: Despite Job's despair, the narrative ultimately affirms his integrity. While human righteousness cannot compel God, it remains a vital aspect of a life lived in accordance with His will, even when the path is difficult.
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Cross-References

  • Job 1:1 (4 votes)

    ยถ There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name [was] Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil.
  • Proverbs 28:26 (3 votes)

    ยถ He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered.
  • Psalms 139:23 (3 votes)

    Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
  • Psalms 139:24 (3 votes)

    And see if [there be any] wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
  • Job 7:21 (3 votes)

    And why dost thou not pardon my transgression, and take away mine iniquity? for now shall I sleep in the dust; and thou shalt seek me in the morning, but I [shall] not [be].
  • Jeremiah 17:9 (2 votes)

    The heart [is] deceitful above all [things], and desperately wicked: who can know it?
  • Jeremiah 17:10 (2 votes)

    I the LORD search the heart, [I] try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, [and] according to the fruit of his doings.