2 Samuel 13:4

KJV

And he said unto him, Why [art] thou, [being] the king's son, lean from day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.

KJV (with Strong's)

And he said {H559} unto him, Why art thou, being the king's {H4428} son {H1121}, lean {H1800} from day {H1242} to day {H1242}? wilt thou not tell {H5046} me? And Amnon {H550} said {H559} unto him, I love {H157} Tamar {H8559}, my brother {H251} Absalom's {H53} sister {H269}.

Complete Jewish Bible

He asked him, "Why, son of the king, are you growing thinner every day? Won't you tell me?"Amnon answered him, "I'm in love with Tamar, my brother Avshalom's sister."

Berean Standard Bible

so he asked Amnon, “Why are you, the son of the king, so depressed morning after morning? Won’t you tell me?” Amnon replied, “I am in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.”

American Standard Version

And he said unto him, Why, O son of the king, art thou thus lean from day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.

Commentary

### SUMMARY
2 Samuel 13:4 captures the initial exchange between Amnon, King David's firstborn, and his cunning cousin Jonadab, setting in motion a tragic sequence of events within the royal family. Jonadab observes Amnon's visible distress and physical deterioration, prompting an inquiry that elicits Amnon's confession of obsessive desire for his half-sister, Tamar. This pivotal verse reveals the destructive power of unchecked lust and the manipulative nature of ungodly counsel, foreshadowing the incest, violence, and familial strife that will plague David's house as a direct consequence of this illicit passion.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** This verse is deeply embedded within the narrative of David's reign, specifically the unfolding consequences of his sin with Bathsheba and the murder of Uriah, as prophesied by Nathan in [2 Samuel 12:11-12](/2_samuel/12-11 "Nathan's Prophecy of Trouble in David's House"). The preceding verses introduce Amnon's infatuation and Jonadab's character as "very subtil" ([2 Samuel 13:3](/2_samuel/13-3 "Jonadab's Cunning Nature")). Following this confession, Jonadab devises a deceptive plan that leads to Tamar's rape ([2 Samuel 13:5-14](/2_samuel/13-5 "Amnon's Deception and Rape of Tamar")), Absalom's two-year delay in seeking revenge ([2 Samuel 13:20-23](/2_samuel/13-20 "Absalom's Quiet Anger and Revenge")), and ultimately Amnon's murder ([2 Samuel 13:28-29](/2_samuel/13-28 "Absalom Murders Amnon")). This entire chapter, [2 Samuel 13](/2_samuel/13 "The Rape of Tamar and Murder of Amnon"), serves as a grim fulfillment of divine judgment, illustrating the cascading effects of sin within David's own household.
* **Historical & Cultural Context:** In ancient Israel, half-siblings sharing a father but not a mother were still considered siblings, and sexual relations between them were strictly forbidden by Mosaic Law ([Leviticus 18:9](/leviticus/18-9 "Prohibition of Incest with a Sister or Half-Sister"), [Deuteronomy 27:22](/deuteronomy/27-22 "Curse for Incest with a Sister")). Royal families, while often having multiple wives and concubines, were not exempt from these laws, and violations carried severe social and religious consequences. The king's sons, like Amnon and Absalom, held significant status, but their actions could profoundly impact the stability and moral standing of the kingdom. The setting is Jerusalem, the capital, where the royal court operated, often with its own internal dynamics and power struggles. Jonadab's presence as a cousin highlights the close-knit, yet often treacherous, nature of royal family relations.
* **Key Themes:** This verse introduces several critical themes that permeate not only [2 Samuel 13](/2_samuel/13 "The Rape of Tamar and Murder of Amnon") but the broader narrative of David's later reign. The **destructive nature of unchecked desire** is paramount, as Amnon's physical wasting ("lean from day to day") vividly portrays the torment of his illicit lust, which he mislabels as "love." This theme contrasts sharply with the biblical understanding of genuine love, which is selfless and seeks the good of the other. Another central theme is **manipulation and deception**, exemplified by Jonadab's insidious probing and subsequent wicked counsel, which transforms Amnon's internal struggle into a heinous act. Finally, the verse initiates the theme of **familial dysfunction and the far-reaching consequences of sin**, demonstrating how individual moral failures, particularly within leadership, can unravel the fabric of a family and lead to widespread tragedy, echoing Nathan's prophecy that "the sword shall never depart from your house" ([2 Samuel 12:10](/2_samuel/12-10 "Nathan's Prophecy of the Sword in David's House")).

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS
#### Key Word Analysis
* **Lean (Hebrew, _dal_):** This word, often translated as "poor," "weak," or "thin," describes Amnon's physical appearance. It suggests a wasting away, a visible sign of distress, emotional turmoil, or obsession. It's not merely a physical state but indicative of a deep internal struggle that has manifested externally, highlighting the consuming nature of his desire.
* **Love (Hebrew, _'ahab_):** While _'ahab_ can denote genuine affection, as used by Amnon here, it is critically understood in context as a self-serving, obsessive, and ultimately destructive lust. Amnon's subsequent actions prove that his "love" was not for Tamar's well-being but for his own gratification, a stark contrast to the selfless, covenantal love often described in Scripture.
* **Subtil (Hebrew, _ḥākām_):** Though not directly in verse 4, Jonadab's character in [2 Samuel 13:3](/2_samuel/13-3 "Jonadab's Cunning Nature") is described as "very subtil" (_ḥākām_). This word can mean "wise" but often carries a connotation of shrewdness, cunning, or craftiness, especially when applied to those who use their intellect for manipulative or self-serving ends. Jonadab's inquiry in verse 4 is the first demonstration of this "subtlety," as he skillfully extracts Amnon's secret to exploit it.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"And he said unto him, Why [art] thou, [being] the king's son, lean from day to day? wilt thou not tell me?"**: This opening clause reveals Jonadab's keen observation and manipulative intent. He notices Amnon's physical deterioration, a sign of deep internal turmoil, and frames his question with an appeal to Amnon's royal status ("the king's son"), implying that someone of such standing should not be suffering. The phrase "lean from day to day" emphasizes the progressive nature of Amnon's distress. Jonadab's final plea, "wilt thou not tell me?", is a calculated invitation for Amnon to confide, setting the trap for his confession.
* **"And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister."**: This is Amnon's pivotal confession. The simple declaration "I love Tamar" reveals the object of his obsession. The addition "my brother Absalom's sister" highlights the illicit nature of his desire, emphasizing the familial relationship (half-sister, full sister to Absalom) that makes such "love" a violation of both law and social norms. This confession is the critical turning point, transforming Amnon's internal struggle into a shared secret, ripe for Jonadab's wicked counsel.

#### Literary Devices
The verse employs several significant literary devices. **Foreshadowing** is prominent, as Amnon's visible "leanness" and his declaration of "love" for Tamar immediately hint at the impending tragedy. This physical manifestation of his internal torment foreshadows the destructive actions that will follow. **Irony** is present in Jonadab's seemingly solicitous inquiry; while appearing concerned, his true motive is to exploit Amnon's vulnerability for nefarious purposes. The use of **contrast** is also evident, particularly between Amnon's self-professed "love" and the true nature of his lust, which will be revealed in his brutal actions. This contrast highlights the deceptive power of sin to masquerade as something noble. Finally, the verse functions as a **catalyst**, initiating the entire tragic sequence of events in [2 Samuel 13](/2_samuel/13 "The Rape of Tamar and Murder of Amnon"), demonstrating how a seemingly private confession can unleash widespread devastation.

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
The confession in 2 Samuel 13:4 serves as a stark theological warning against the dangers of unchecked desire and the deceptive nature of sin. Amnon's physical wasting illustrates how unholy passions can consume an individual, leading to spiritual and physical deterioration. His mislabeling of lust as "love" underscores the self-deception inherent in sin, where personal gratification is prioritized over moral boundaries and the well-being of others. This narrative powerfully demonstrates that sin, even when seemingly confined to an individual's private thoughts, has a corrosive effect and, when acted upon, can unleash a torrent of destructive consequences, fulfilling the principle that "what a man sows, that he will also reap" ([Galatians 6:7](/galatians/6-7 "Galatians 6:7 - Sowing and Reaping")). It also highlights the critical importance of discerning counsel, as Jonadab's "subtlety" quickly transitions from observation to active participation in sin, revealing the corrupting influence of ungodly friendships.

* [Proverbs 4:23](/proverbs/4-23 "Proverbs 4:23 - Guard Your Heart")
* [James 1:14-15](/james/1-14 "James 1:14-15 - The Progression of Sin")
* [Proverbs 13:20](/proverbs/13-20 "Proverbs 13:20 - Walking with the Wise")

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Amnon's plight in 2 Samuel 13:4 offers profound lessons for contemporary believers. The narrative compels us to examine the state of our own hearts, recognizing that unaddressed desires, even those that seem private, can fester and manifest in destructive ways, impacting not only ourselves but those around us. Just as Amnon's "leanness" was a visible symptom of an internal spiritual sickness, we are called to be vigilant against the subtle onset of sinful passions, seeking God's grace and wisdom to confront them before they take root and bear bitter fruit. Furthermore, the interaction with Jonadab underscores the critical importance of choosing our confidantes wisely. Ungodly counsel, however seemingly helpful or understanding, can lead us down paths of destruction. Instead, we are to seek out godly mentors and friends who will speak truth into our lives, encouraging righteousness and accountability, rather than enabling sin. This passage challenges us to cultivate a love that is truly selfless, distinguishing it from the deceptive allure of lust, and to understand that true freedom comes not from indulging every desire, but from submitting our desires to God's holy will.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **What "leanness" or internal struggles might be manifesting in my own life, indicating unaddressed desires or unresolved sin?**
* **Am I discerning about the counsel I receive, ensuring that my confidantes encourage godly living rather than enabling compromise?**
* **How can I cultivate a biblical understanding of love that prioritizes the well-being of others over my own selfish gratification?**
* **What practical steps can I take to address sinful desires before they consume me and lead to destructive actions?**

### FAQ
**What does Amnon's "leanness" signify?**

Answer: Amnon's "leanness" (Hebrew: _dal_) signifies a visible physical and emotional wasting away, indicative of deep internal distress, obsession, or torment caused by his unfulfilled desire for Tamar. It's a classic biblical motif where inner turmoil manifests outwardly, showing the consuming power of his illicit passion. This physical symptom underscores the psychological and spiritual toll that unchecked sin or obsessive desire can take on an individual, highlighting that his "love" was not a healthy emotion but a tormenting fixation.

**Why was Amnon's desire for Tamar considered incestuous?**

Answer: In ancient Israelite law, as codified in the Mosaic Law, sexual relations between half-siblings were strictly forbidden. [Leviticus 18:9](/leviticus/18-9 "Leviticus 18:9 - Prohibition of Incest with a Sister") explicitly states, "Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy sister, thy father's daughter, or thy mother's daughter, whether she be born at home, or born abroad." Tamar was Amnon's half-sister, sharing the same father (David) but a different mother. This made their relationship incestuous and a grave violation of God's commands, carrying severe consequences within the community and before God.

**Who was Jonadab, and what was his role in this event?**

Answer: Jonadab was Amnon's cousin, described in [2 Samuel 13:3](/2_samuel/13-3 "Jonadab's Cunning Nature") as "very subtil" (or "very shrewd/cunning"). His role was that of a manipulative enabler. He observed Amnon's distress, skillfully extracted the secret of his desire for Tamar, and then devised the wicked plan that allowed Amnon to rape her. Jonadab did not offer counsel that would lead Amnon away from sin; instead, he exploited Amnon's weakness for his own twisted amusement or influence, acting as a catalyst for the tragedy that unfolded within David's family.

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
While 2 Samuel 13:4 portrays the devastating consequences of human sin and unchecked desire within an earthly royal family, it ultimately points to the profound need for a different kind of King and a different kind of love. Amnon's self-serving "love" for Tamar, which led to her violation and his own destruction, stands in stark contrast to the selfless, redemptive love of Jesus Christ. The escalating sin and dysfunction in David's house, a direct fulfillment of prophecy regarding the consequences of David's own sin ([2 Samuel 12:10-11](/2_samuel/12-10 "Nathan's Prophecy of the Sword and Trouble in David's House")), underscore humanity's desperate need for a perfect High Priest who is "holy, harmless, undefiled, separate from sinners" ([Hebrews 7:26](/hebrews/7-26 "Hebrews 7:26 - Christ Our Perfect High Priest")). Christ, the ultimate Son of David, did not come to indulge selfish desires but to lay down His life for His bride, the Church ([Ephesians 5:25](/ephesians/5-25 "Ephesians 5:25 - Christ's Love for the Church")). He perfectly embodied true _agape_ love, seeking the good of others even unto death, offering forgiveness and restoration rather than perpetuating cycles of sin and violence. His perfect obedience and sacrificial love provide the only true answer to the destructive power of sin revealed in Amnon's tragic story, offering redemption and transformation to all who believe ([Romans 5:8](/romans/5-8 "Romans 5:8 - God's Love Demonstrated")).

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.

Cross-References

Esther 5:13

Yet all this availeth me nothing, so long as I see Mordecai the Jew sitting at the king's gate.

Esther 5:14

Then said Zeresh his wife and all his friends unto him, Let a gallows be made of fifty cubits high, and to morrow speak thou unto the king that Mordecai may be hanged thereon: then go thou in merrily with the king unto the banquet. And the thing pleased Haman; and he caused the gallows to be made.

Luke 12:32

Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.

Jeremiah 8:12

Were they ashamed when they had committed abomination? nay, they were not at all ashamed, neither could they blush: therefore shall they fall among them that fall: in the time of their visitation they shall be cast down, saith the LORD.

Leviticus 20:17

And if a man shall take his sister, his father's daughter, or his mother's daughter, and see her nakedness, and she see his nakedness; it [is] a wicked thing; and they shall be cut off in the sight of their people: he hath uncovered his sister's nakedness; he shall bear his iniquity.

Leviticus 18:9

The nakedness of thy sister, the daughter of thy father, or daughter of thy mother, [whether she be] born at home, or born abroad, [even] their nakedness thou shalt not uncover.

Micah 7:3

That they may do evil with both hands earnestly, the prince asketh, and the judge [asketh] for a reward; and the great [man], he uttereth his mischievous desire: so they wrap it up.