2 Samuel 13:20

KJV

And Absalom her brother said unto her, Hath Amnon thy brother been with thee? but hold now thy peace, my sister: he [is] thy brother; regard not this thing. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house.

KJV (with Strong's)

And Absalom {H53} her brother {H251} said {H559} unto her, Hath Amnon {H550} thy brother {H251} been with thee? but hold now thy peace {H2790}, my sister {H269}: he is thy brother {H251}; regard {H7896}{H3820} not this thing {H1697}. So Tamar {H8559} remained {H3427} desolate {H8074} in her brother {H251} Absalom's {H53} house {H1004}.

Complete Jewish Bible

Avshalom her brother said to her, "Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now, my sister, keep quiet; because he's your brother. Don't take the matter to heart." But Tamar remained desolate in her brother Avshalom's house.

Berean Standard Bible

Her brother Absalom said to her, “Has your brother Amnon been with you? Be quiet for now, my sister. He is your brother. Do not take this thing to heart.” So Tamar lived as a desolate woman in the house of her brother Absalom.

American Standard Version

And Absalom her brother said unto her, Hath Amnon thy brother been with thee? but now hold thy peace, my sister: he is thy brother; take not this thing to heart. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house.

Commentary

### SUMMARY
2 Samuel 13:20 tragically depicts the immediate aftermath of Amnon's horrific rape of Tamar, King David's daughter, revealing Absalom's chillingly pragmatic and deeply manipulative response to his sister's trauma. He commands her silence, subtly masking his own burgeoning vengeful intentions under the guise of familial loyalty, while the verse concludes with the heartbreaking declaration of Tamar's permanent desolation, underscoring the profound and irreversible impact of the assault on her life and social standing within the royal household.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** This verse serves as a critical turning point in the unfolding tragedy of [2 Samuel 13](/2_samuel/13 "2 Samuel 13 - Amnon, Tamar, and Absalom"). It immediately follows the brutal account of Amnon's calculated deception and violent sexual assault upon his half-sister Tamar in [2 Samuel 13:1-19](/2_samuel/13-1-19 "2 Samuel 13:1-19 - Amnon's Rape of Tamar"). Tamar has just fled Amnon's house, her royal robe torn and ashes on her head, public symbols of her profound anguish, shame, and defilement. Absalom's instant recognition of her state and his subsequent command for silence are not merely a reaction but a strategic move that sets the stage for the escalating familial dysfunction and violence that will plague David's house. This includes Absalom's long-held grudge and eventual murder of Amnon (foreshadowed here and detailed in [2 Samuel 13:22-29](/2_samuel/13-22-29 "2 Samuel 13:22-29 - Absalom's Revenge and Amnon's Death")), and ultimately, his rebellion against David. The verse thus marks the moment where a private sin begins to unravel the public fabric of the royal family and the kingdom.

* **Historical & Cultural Context:** In ancient Israel, a woman's virginity was of paramount importance, especially for a king's daughter, as it directly determined her marriageability, honor, and the honor of her entire family. Sexual assault, particularly against a virgin, brought immense shame not only upon the victim but also upon her extended family, severely diminishing their social standing and future prospects. The tearing of garments and the application of ashes were universally recognized expressions of deep mourning, humiliation, and distress. Culturally, it was expected that a woman's male relatives—her father, brothers, or closest kin—would be responsible for avenging such a dishonor, often through demanding justice, compensation, or even blood vengeance. King David's subsequent failure to act decisively against Amnon, his firstborn son and heir (as revealed in [2 Samuel 13:21](/2_samuel/13-21 "2 Samuel 13:21 - David's Passive Reaction")), highlights a catastrophic breakdown of justice and authority within the royal court, reflecting the patriarchal societal structure where the king's word held ultimate sway. This inaction would have profound and tragic consequences.

* **Key Themes:** This verse powerfully contributes to several overarching themes within [2 Samuel](/2_samuel/13 "The Book of 2 Samuel") and the broader Deuteronomistic History. It starkly illustrates the **consequences of sin**, particularly sexual violence, demonstrating how unchecked lust and a lack of moral accountability can lead to devastating familial breakdown. The theme of **familial dysfunction** is central, portraying a royal household plagued by incest, rape, and a father's tragic inability to administer justice, directly echoing the chilling prophecy of the "sword never departing" from David's house, found in [2 Samuel 12:10](/2_samuel/12-10 "2 Samuel 12:10 - Nathan's Prophecy of the Sword"). Absalom's command for silence introduces the insidious theme of **silencing victims** and the perpetuation of trauma, while simultaneously foreshadowing the theme of **revenge** as a misguided and destructive form of justice. Tamar's "desolation" poignantly highlights the profound and lasting impact of **trauma and social ostracism** on the victim, serving as a powerful testament to the fragility of honor and the harsh realities faced by women in that cultural context.

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS
#### Key Word Analysis
* **brother (Hebrew, _ʼâch'_):** This word (H251) is used repeatedly in this verse, underscoring the horrific irony of Amnon's actions. While it literally means "a brother" in the widest sense of literal relationship, here it highlights the sacred bond of kinship that Amnon has utterly violated. Absalom's use of "he is thy brother" to justify Tamar's silence is a twisted appeal to this familial tie, manipulating it to serve his own agenda rather than upholding the honor and protection it should represent. The repetition emphasizes the profound betrayal and the brokenness of the family unit.
* **hold now thy peace (Hebrew, _chârash'_):** This imperative (H2790), derived from a root meaning "to scratch, engrave, plough; to fabricate; to devise (in a bad sense); to be silent, to let alone," is a direct command from Absalom to Tamar to suppress her cries and her story. While seemingly a protective measure to prevent further public shame, its deeper implication is to enforce silence, denying Tamar a voice and immediate justice. This enforced quietude allows Absalom to harbor his anger and meticulously plot his revenge without public outcry or intervention, making Tamar's silence a tool in his strategic game rather than a path to her healing.
* **desolate (Hebrew, _shâmêm'_):** This participle (H8074), derived from a root meaning "to stun, grow numb, devastate, stupefy," powerfully describes Tamar's state. It conveys a condition of utter ruin, not merely emotional anguish but a complete social and existential devastation. For a woman in ancient Israel, being raped meant the loss of her virginity and, consequently, her marriage prospects and social standing. She was effectively "laid waste" or "deserted" by society, left in a state of profound isolation and despair. This word implies a life stripped of its potential and dignity, a permanent mark of her violation and a tragic end to her royal status.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"And Absalom her brother said unto her, Hath Amnon thy brother been with thee?":** Absalom's immediate and direct question upon seeing Tamar's distress reveals his astute perception and quick understanding of the situation. He instantly deduces the perpetrator and the nature of the crime, bypassing the need for Tamar to explain her trauma. This highlights his sharp intellect and deep, protective connection to his full sister, but also chillingly foreshadows his capacity for calculated and ruthless action.
* **"but hold now thy peace, my sister: he [is] thy brother; regard not this thing.":** This is the core of Absalom's chilling counsel, a complex mix of manipulation and strategic calculation. The command to "hold now thy peace" is a directive for silence, preventing Tamar from openly mourning or seeking immediate justice. The justification, "he is thy brother," is profoundly ironic and manipulative; it appeals to a twisted sense of familial loyalty that prioritizes the perpetrator's status and the family's public image over the victim's well-being and need for justice. The instruction to "regard not this thing" is a cruel dismissal of Tamar's profound trauma, indicating Absalom's desire to keep the incident quiet, not for Tamar's healing, but for his own strategic purposes of vengeance.
* **"So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house.":** This concluding clause tragically summarizes Tamar's fate. The word "desolate" encapsulates her shattered state—emotionally ruined, socially ostracized, and effectively unmarriageable. Absalom's house, while offering a physical refuge, becomes a prison of her sorrow and isolation, a place where her life is effectively over in terms of social standing and future prospects. Her life, as a royal princess, is irrevocably altered, reduced to a state of perpetual mourning and social invisibility, a poignant testament to the devastating and lasting consequences of sexual violence in that cultural context.

#### Literary Devices
The verse masterfully employs several powerful **Literary Devices** to convey its tragic message. **Foreshadowing** is profoundly evident in Absalom's command for silence, which subtly but clearly hints at his long-term, meticulously planned revenge against Amnon, a deadly plot that will unfold over the next two years. The phrase "he is thy brother" is steeped in bitter **Irony**, as Amnon has committed the most egregious and unbrotherly act imaginable, violating the sacred bond of kinship and the very essence of familial protection. Absalom's "protection" of Tamar through enforced silence also carries a dark irony, as it denies her immediate justice, perpetuates her suffering by silencing her voice, and ultimately serves his own vengeful agenda rather than her true healing. The description of Tamar's "desolate" state evokes deep **Pathos**, drawing the reader's profound sympathy and sorrow for her irreversible suffering, social ruin, and the permanent scarring of her life. The stark contrast between her former royal status and her ultimate desolation powerfully underscores the tragic consequences of unchecked sin and the devastating breakdown of justice within David's family.

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
This verse serves as a stark and painful reminder of the devastating consequences of sin, particularly sexual violence, and the profound breakdown of justice within God's chosen family. It vividly illustrates how unchecked lust and a catastrophic failure of leadership (evidenced by David's subsequent inaction) can lead to a destructive cycle of trauma, enforced silence, and ultimately, a misguided pursuit of revenge. This tragic sequence chillingly fulfills the prophetic judgment that the "sword shall never depart" from David's house. Tamar's desolation highlights the deep and enduring suffering of victims when justice is denied and their voices are silenced, emphasizing the critical importance of compassion, advocacy, and righteous intervention for the vulnerable. The narrative underscores that even within a divinely chosen lineage, human sin has real, painful, and far-reaching repercussions, calling for a deeper understanding of God's justice, His demand for righteousness, and His ultimate mercy.

* [Deuteronomy 22:25-27](/deuteronomy/22-25-27 "Deuteronomy 22:25-27 - Laws Regarding Rape and Betrothal")
* [Genesis 34:1-7](/genesis/34-1-7 "Genesis 34:1-7 - The Rape of Dinah and Its Aftermath")
* [2 Samuel 12:10](/2_samuel/12-10 "2 Samuel 12:10 - Nathan's Prophecy of the Sword Upon David's House")

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
The tragic account of Tamar's desolation in [2 Samuel 13:20](/2_samuel/13-20 "2 Samuel 13:20 - Tamar's Desolation") compels us to confront the enduring pain of sexual violence and the profound responsibility of those in positions of power and within families to protect the vulnerable and administer justice. Absalom's command for silence, while perhaps motivated by a twisted sense of honor or a desire for calculated revenge, ultimately serves to further victimize Tamar by denying her agency, voice, and the possibility of immediate healing. This narrative challenges us to critically examine how we, as individuals, communities, and institutions, respond to trauma and injustice. Do we create safe and empathetic spaces where victims can speak their truth and find healing, or do we, by our silence, inaction, or misguided attempts to "keep the peace," inadvertently perpetuate their desolation and compound their suffering? The long-term, devastating consequences of unaddressed sin and injustice, as seen in the subsequent unraveling of David's family, serve as a potent warning against minimizing or ignoring the profound harm caused by such acts. We are called to be empathetic listeners, courageous advocates, and agents of restorative justice, ensuring that no one is left "desolate" in the aftermath of their suffering, but rather finds pathways to healing, dignity, and justice.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **How does Absalom's command for silence reflect broader societal tendencies to minimize, dismiss, or suppress the experiences and voices of victims of trauma and abuse?**
* **What is our personal and communal responsibility when we encounter situations of injustice or abuse, particularly when those in authority fail to act decisively and righteously?**
* **How can families, communities, and churches create environments where victims feel truly safe to speak out, receive compassionate support, and find the justice they need, rather than being left in a state of "desolation"?**
* **In what ways might our own "silence" or "regard not this thing" attitudes, whether passive or active, inadvertently contribute to the ongoing suffering and marginalization of others?**

### FAQ
**Why did Absalom tell Tamar to be silent and "regard not this thing"?**

Answer: Absalom's command for silence was multi-faceted and deeply calculating. On one hand, it might have been a misguided attempt to prevent further public shame for Tamar and the royal family, as open disclosure of such an act would have brought immense dishonor. However, more significantly, it was a strategic move to keep the incident quiet while he meticulously plotted his revenge against Amnon. By telling Tamar to "regard not this thing," he was effectively instructing her not to dwell on the trauma or seek immediate justice, thereby allowing him the time and space to plan his own form of retribution, which culminated two years later in Amnon's murder (see [2 Samuel 13:28-29](/2_samuel/13-28-29 "2 Samuel 13:28-29 - Absalom Murders Amnon")). His concern was less for Tamar's healing and more for his own vengeful agenda, using her suffering as a catalyst for his own power play.

**What does "Tamar remained desolate" imply about her future?**

Answer: The Hebrew word for "desolate" (_shomemah_) conveys a profound state of ruin, abandonment, and stunning isolation. For Tamar, a royal princess, this meant the complete destruction of her social standing and future prospects. In ancient Israel, a raped woman, especially a virgin, was considered defiled and unmarriageable. Her "desolation" was not merely an emotional state but a harsh social reality: she was effectively ostracized, unable to fulfill the expected role of marriage and motherhood in that society. Though she found physical refuge in Absalom's house, it became a place of perpetual sorrow and social death, a stark contrast to the vibrant life she might have had. Her desolation was a permanent mark of her violation and the tragic failure of justice to protect her.

**How did King David react to Amnon's crime against Tamar?**

Answer: While [2 Samuel 13:20](/2_samuel/13-20 "2 Samuel 13:20 - Tamar's Desolation") focuses on Absalom's reaction, the subsequent verse, [2 Samuel 13:21](/2_samuel/13-21 "2 Samuel 13:21 - David's Reaction to Amnon's Crime"), states that "when King David heard of all these things, he was very wroth; but he did not punish Amnon his son, for he loved him, because he was his firstborn." David's reaction was one of intense anger, but critically, it was followed by a devastating inaction. His failure to administer justice against Amnon, his firstborn and heir, was a grave dereliction of his duty as both a father and a king. This inaction allowed the injustice to fester, fueled Absalom's deep-seated resentment, and ultimately contributed to the tragic cycle of violence and rebellion that would plague David's house, directly fulfilling Nathan's prophecy from [2 Samuel 12:10](/2_samuel/12-10 "2 Samuel 12:10 - Nathan's Prophecy of the Sword Upon David's House").

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
The tragic narrative of [2 Samuel 13:20](/2_samuel/13-20 "2 Samuel 13:20 - Tamar's Desolation"), with Tamar's profound desolation and Absalom's chilling silence, powerfully underscores the brokenness of humanity and the desperate need for a perfect King and a new covenant. David's royal house, meant to be a beacon of God's justice and order, is instead consumed by sin, violence, and a devastating failure to protect the innocent and administer righteousness. This profound brokenness points forward to Jesus Christ, the true Son of David, who does not merely react to injustice but actively enters into human suffering. Unlike Amnon, who exploits and violates, or Absalom, who silences and plots revenge, Jesus is the ultimate protector and advocate for the vulnerable. He is the one who gives voice to the oppressed and marginalized, who does not tell victims to "regard not this thing," but instead bears their burdens, offers true healing, and invites the weary and heavy-laden to find rest in Him (see [Matthew 11:28](/matthew/11-28 "Matthew 11:28 - Jesus' Invitation to the Weary")). His perfect life, sacrificial death on the cross, and glorious resurrection address the root of the sin that leads to such atrocities, offering forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration where human systems of justice utterly fail. In Christ, Tamar's desolation finds its ultimate answer, as He promises to wipe away every tear and make all things new, ushering in a kingdom where justice, righteousness, and true peace will finally prevail (see [Revelation 21:4](/revelation/21-4 "Revelation 21:4 - God Will Wipe Away Every Tear") and [Isaiah 61:1-3](/isaiah/61-1-3 "Isaiah 61:1-3 - The Spirit of the Lord GOD is Upon Me")).

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.

Cross-References

Genesis 34:2

And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the country, saw her, he took her, and lay with her, and defiled her.

Genesis 46:15

These [be] the sons of Leah, which she bare unto Jacob in Padanaram, with his daughter Dinah: all the souls of his sons and his daughters [were] thirty and three.

Romans 12:19

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but [rather] give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance [is] mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

Proverbs 26:24

¶ He that hateth dissembleth with his lips, and layeth up deceit within him;