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Commentary on 2 Samuel 13 verses 1–20
We have here a particular account of the abominable wickedness of Amnon in ravishing his sister, a subject not fit to be enlarged upon nor indeed to be mentioned without blushing, that ever any man should be so vile, especially that a son of David should be so. Amnon's character, we have reason to think, was bad in other things; if he had not forsaken God, he would never have been given up to these vile affections. Godly parents have often been afflicted with wicked children; grace does not run in the blood, but corruption does. We do not find that David's children imitated him in his devotion; but his false steps they trod in, and in those did much worse, and repented not. Parents know not how fatal the consequences may be if in any instance they give their children bad examples. Observe the steps of Amnon's sin.
I. The devil, as an unclean spirit, put it into his heart to lust after his sister Tamar. Beauty is a snare to many; it was so to her. She was fair, and therefore Amnon coveted her, Sa2 13:1. Those that are peculiarly handsome have no reason, on that account, to be proud, but great reason to stand upon their watch. Amnon's lust was, 1. Unnatural in itself, to lust after his sister, which even natural conscience startles at and cannot think of without horror. Such a spirit of contradiction there is in man's corrupt nature that still it desires forbidden fruit, and the more strongly it is forbidden the more greedily it is desired. Can he entertain the thought of betraying that virtue and honour of which, as a brother, he ought to have been the protector? But what wickedness so vile as not to find admittance into an unsanctified unguarded heart, left to itself? 2. It was very uneasy to him. He was so vexed that he could not gain an opportunity to solicit her chastity (for innocent converse with her was not denied him) that he fell sick, Sa2 13:2. Fleshly lusts are their own punishment, and not only war against the soul, but against the body too, and are the rottenness of the bones. See what a hard master sinners serve, and how heavy his yoke is.
II. The devil, as a subtle serpent, put it into his head how to compass this wicked design. Amnon had a friend (so he called him, but he was really an enemy to him), a kinsman, that had in him more of David's blood (for he was his nephew) than of David's spirit, for he was a subtle man, cunning to carry on any bad design, especially an intrigue of this nature, Sa2 13:3.
1.He took notice that Amnon looked ill, and, being a subtle man, concluded that he was love-sick (Sa2 13:4), and asks him, "Why art thou, being the king's son, lean from day to day? Why dost thou pine, being the king's eldest son, and heir to the crown. Being the king's son," (1.) "Thou hast the pleasures of the court to divert thee; take those pleasures then, and with them drive away the sorrow, whatever it is." Content and comfort are not always to be found in royal palaces. With much more reason may we ask dejected and disconsolate saints why they, who are the children of the King of kings and heirs of the crown of life, are thus lean from day to day. (2.) "Thou hast the power of a prince to command what thou wantest and wishest for; use that power therefore, and gratify thyself. Pine not away for that which, lawful or unlawful, thou, being the king's son, mayest have. Quicquid libet licet - Your will is law." Thus Jezebel to Ahab in a like case (Kg1 21:7), Dost not thou govern Israel? The abuse of power is the most dangerous temptation of the great.
2.Amnon having the impudence to own his wicked lust, miscalling it love (I love Tamar), Jonadab put him in a way to compass his design, Sa2 13:5. Had he been what he pretended (Amnon's friend), he would have startled at the mention of such horrid wickedness, would have laid before him the evil of it, what an offence it was to God and what a wrong to his own soul to entertain such a vile thought, of what fatal consequence it would be to him to cherish and prosecute it; he would have used his subtlety to divert Amnon from it, by recommending some other person to him, whom he might lawfully marry. But he seems not at all surprised at it, objects not either the unlawfulness or the difficulty, the reproach or so much as his father's displeasure, but puts him in the way to get Tamar to his bed-side, and then he might do as he pleased. Note, The case of those is very miserable whose friends, instead of admonishing and reproving them, flatter them and forward them in their sinful ways, and are their counsellors and contrivers to do wickedly. Amnon is already sick, but goes about; he must take upon him to be so ill (and his thin looks will give colour enough to the pretence) as not to be able to get up, and to have no appetite to any thing but just that which pleases his fancy. Dainty meat is abhorred, Job 33:20. The best dish from the king's table cannot please him; but, if he can eat any thing, it must be from his sister Tamar's fair hand. This is what he is advised to.
3.Amnon followed these directions, and thus got Tamar within his reach: He made himself sick, Sa2 13:6. Thus he lieth in wait secretly, as a lion in his den, to catch the poor, and to draw them into his net, Psa 10:8-10. David was always fond of his children, and concerned if any thing ailed them; he no sooner hears that Amnon is sick than he comes himself to visit him. Let parents learn hence to be tender of their children and compassionate towards them. The sick child commonly the mother comforteth (Isa 66:13), but let not the father be unconcerned. We may suppose that when David came to see his sick son he gave him good counsel to make a right use of his affliction, and prayed with him, which yet did not alter his wicked purpose. At parting, the indulgent father asks, "Is there any thing thou hast a mind to, that I can procure for thee?" "Yes, Sir," says the dissembling son, "my stomach is weak, and I know not of any thing I can eat, unless it be a cake of my sister Tamar's making, and I cannot be satisfied that it is so unless I see her make it, and it will do me the more good if I eat it at her hand." David saw no reason to suspect any mischief intended. God hid his heart from understanding in this matter. He therefore immediately orders Tamar to go and attend her sick brother, Sa2 13:7. He does it very innocently, but afterwards, no doubt, reflected upon it with great regret. Tamar as innocently goes to her brother's chamber, neither dreading any abuse (why should she from a brother, a sick brother?) nor disdaining, in obedience to her father and love to her brother (though but her half-brother), to be his nurse, Sa2 13:8, Sa2 13:9. Though she was a king's daughter, a great beauty (Sa2 13:1), and well dressed (Sa2 13:18), yet she did not think it below her to knead cakes and bake them, nor would she have done this now if she had not been used to it. Good house-wifery is not a thing below the greatest ladies, nor ought they to think it a disparagement to them. The virtuous woman, whose husband sits among the elders, yet works willingly with her hands, Pro 31:13. Modern ages have not been destitute of such instances, nor is it so unfashionable as some would make it. Preparing for the sick should be more the care and delight of the ladies than preparing for the nice, charity more than curiosity.
4.Having got her to him, he contrives to have her alone; for the adulterer (much more so vile an adulterer as this) is in care that no eye see him, Job 24:15. The meat is ready, but he cannot eat while he is looked at by those about him; they must all be turned out, Sa2 13:9. The sick must be humoured, and think they have a privilege to command. Tamar is willing to humour him; her chaste and virtuous soul has not the least thought of that which his polluted breast is full of; and therefore she makes no scruple of being alone with him in the inner chamber, Sa2 13:10. And now the mask is thrown off, the meat is thrown by, and the wicked wretch calls her sister, and yet impudently courts her to come and lie with him, Sa2 13:11. It was a base affront to her virtue to think it possible to persuade her to consent to such wickedness when he knew her behaviour to be always exemplarily modest and virtuous. But it is common for those that live in uncleanness to think others such as themselves, at least tinder to their sparks.
III. The devil, as a strong tempter, deafens his ear to all the reasonings with which she resisted his assaults and would have persuaded him to desist. We may well imagine what a surprise and terror it was to the young lady to be thus attacked, how she blushed and how she trembled; yet, in this great confusion, nothing could be said more pertinently, nor with greater strength of argument, than what she said to him. 1. She calls him brother, reminding him of the nearness of the relation, which made it unlawful for him to marry her, much more to debauch her. It was expressly forbidden (Lev 18:9) under a severe penalty, Lev 20:17. Great care must be taken lest the love that should be among relations degenerate into lust. 2. She entreats him not to force her, which intimates that she would never consent to it in any degree; and what satisfaction could he take in offering violence? 3. She lays before him the great wickedness of it. It is folly; all sin is so, especially uncleanness. It is wickedness of the worst kind. Such abominations ought not to be committed in Israel, among the professing people of God, that have better statutes than the heathen have. We are Israelites; if we do such things, we are more inexcusable than others, and our condemnation will be more intolerable, for we reproach the Lord, and that worthy name by which we are called. 4. She represents to him the shame of it, which perhaps might influence him more than the sin of it: "For my part, whither shall I cause my shame to go? If it should be concealed, yet I shall blush to think of it as long as I live; and, if ever it be known, how shall I be able to look any of my friends in the face? For thy part, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel," that is, "Thou wilt be looked upon as an atrocious debauchee, the worst of men; thou wilt lose thy interest in the esteem of all that are wise and good, and so wilt be set aside as unfit to rule, though the first-born; for Israel will never submit to the government of such a fool." Prospect of shame, especially everlasting shame, should deter us from sin. 5. To divert him from his wicked purpose at this time, and (if possible) to get clear of him, she intimates to him that probably the king, rather than he should die for love of her, would dispense with the divine law and let him marry her: not as if she thought he had such a dispensing power, or would pretend to it; but she was confident that, upon notice given to the king by himself of this wicked desire, which he would scarcely have believed from any one else, he would take an effectual course to protect her from him. But all her arts and all her arguments availed not. His proud spirit cannot bear a denial; but her comfort, and honour, and all that was dear to her, must be sacrificed to his brutish and outrageous lust, Sa2 13:14. It is to be feared that Amnon, though young, had long lived a lewd life, which his father either knew not or punished not; for a man could not, of a sudden, arrive at such a pitch of wickedness as this. But is this his love to Tamar? Is this the recompence he gives her for her readiness to attend him in his sickness? Will he deal with his sister as with a harlot? Base villain! God deliver all that are modest and virtuous from such wicked and unreasonable men.
IV. The devil, as a tormentor and betrayer, immediately turns his love of her into hatred (Sa2 13:15): He hated her with great hatred, greatly, so it is in the margin, and grew as outrageous in his malice as he had been in his lust.
1.He basely turned her out of doors by force; nay, as if he now disdained to touch her with his own hands, he ordered his servant to pull her out and bolt the door after her, Sa2 13:17. Now, (1.) The innocent injured lady had reason to resent this as a great affront, and in some respects (as she says, Sa2 13:16) worse than the former; for nothing could have been done more barbarous and ill-natured, or more disgraceful to her. Had he taken care to conceal what was done, her honour would have been lost to herself only. Had he gone down on his knees and begged her pardon, it might have been some little reparation. Had he given her time to compose herself after the horrid confusion she was put into, she might have kept her countenance when she went out, and so have kept her counsel. But to dismiss her thus hurried, thus rudely, as if she had done some wicked thing, obliged her, in her own defence, to proclaim the wrong that had been done her. (2.) We may learn from it both the malignity of sin (unbridled passions are as bad as unbridled appetites) and the mischievous consequences of sin (at last, it bites like a serpent); for here we find, [1.] That sins, sweet in the commission, afterwards become odious and painful, and the sinner's own conscience makes them so to himself. Amnon hated Tamar because she would not consent to his wickedness, and so take part of the blame upon herself, but to the last resisted it, and reasoned against it, and so threw all the blame upon him. Had he hated the sin, and loathed himself for it, we might have hoped he was penitent. Godly sorrow worketh indignation, Co2 7:11. But to hate the person he had abused showed that his conscience was terrified, but his heart not at all humbled. See what deceitful pleasures those of the flesh are, how soon they pass away, and turn into loathing; see Eze 23:17. [2.] That sins, secret in the commission, afterwards become open and public, and the sinners themselves often make them so. Their own tongues fall upon them. The Jewish doctors say that, upon the occasion of this wickedness of Amnon, a law was made that a young man and a young woman should never be alone together; for, said they, if the king's daughter be so used, what will become of the children of private men?
2.We must now leave the criminal to the terrors of his own guilty conscience, and enquire what becomes of the poor victim. (1.) She bitterly lamented the injury she had received, as it was a stain to her honour, though no real blemish to her virtue. She tore her fine clothes in token of her grief, and put ashes upon her head, to deform herself, loathing her own beauty and ornaments, because they had occasioned Amnon's unlawful love; and she went on crying for another's sin, Sa2 13:19. (2.) She retired to her brother Absalom's house, because he was her own brother, and there she lived in solitude and sorrow, in token of her modesty and detestation of uncleanness. Absalom spoke kindly to her, bade her pass by the injury for the present, designing himself to revenge it, Sa2 13:20. It should seem by Absalom's question (Has Amnon been with thee?) that Amnon was notorious for such lewd practices, so that it was dangerous for a modest woman to be with him; this Absalom might know, and yet Tamar be wholly ignorant of it.
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SUMMARY
2 Samuel 13:20 tragically depicts the immediate aftermath of Amnon's horrific rape of Tamar, King David's daughter, revealing Absalom's chillingly pragmatic and deeply manipulative response to his sister's trauma. He commands her silence, subtly masking his own burgeoning vengeful intentions under the guise of familial loyalty, while the verse concludes with the heartbreaking declaration of Tamar's permanent desolation, underscoring the profound and irreversible impact of the assault on her life and social standing within the royal household.
CONTEXT
Literary Context: This verse serves as a critical turning point in the unfolding tragedy of 2 Samuel 13. It immediately follows the brutal account of Amnon's calculated deception and violent sexual assault upon his half-sister Tamar in 2 Samuel 13:1-19. Tamar has just fled Amnon's house, her royal robe torn and ashes on her head, public symbols of her profound anguish, shame, and defilement. Absalom's instant recognition of her state and his subsequent command for silence are not merely a reaction but a strategic move that sets the stage for the escalating familial dysfunction and violence that will plague David's house. This includes Absalom's long-held grudge and eventual murder of Amnon (foreshadowed here and detailed in 2 Samuel 13:22-29), and ultimately, his rebellion against David. The verse thus marks the moment where a private sin begins to unravel the public fabric of the royal family and the kingdom.
Historical & Cultural Context: In ancient Israel, a woman's virginity was of paramount importance, especially for a king's daughter, as it directly determined her marriageability, honor, and the honor of her entire family. Sexual assault, particularly against a virgin, brought immense shame not only upon the victim but also upon her extended family, severely diminishing their social standing and future prospects. The tearing of garments and the application of ashes were universally recognized expressions of deep mourning, humiliation, and distress. Culturally, it was expected that a woman's male relatives—her father, brothers, or closest kin—would be responsible for avenging such a dishonor, often through demanding justice, compensation, or even blood vengeance. King David's subsequent failure to act decisively against Amnon, his firstborn son and heir (as revealed in 2 Samuel 13:21), highlights a catastrophic breakdown of justice and authority within the royal court, reflecting the patriarchal societal structure where the king's word held ultimate sway. This inaction would have profound and tragic consequences.
Key Themes: This verse powerfully contributes to several overarching themes within 2 Samuel and the broader Deuteronomistic History. It starkly illustrates the consequences of sin, particularly sexual violence, demonstrating how unchecked lust and a lack of moral accountability can lead to devastating familial breakdown. The theme of familial dysfunction is central, portraying a royal household plagued by incest, rape, and a father's tragic inability to administer justice, directly echoing the chilling prophecy of the "sword never departing" from David's house, found in 2 Samuel 12:10. Absalom's command for silence introduces the insidious theme of silencing victims and the perpetuation of trauma, while simultaneously foreshadowing the theme of revenge as a misguided and destructive form of justice. Tamar's "desolation" poignantly highlights the profound and lasting impact of trauma and social ostracism on the victim, serving as a powerful testament to the fragility of honor and the harsh realities faced by women in that cultural context.
EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS
Key Word Analysis
Verse Breakdown
Literary Devices
The verse masterfully employs several powerful Literary Devices to convey its tragic message. Foreshadowing is profoundly evident in Absalom's command for silence, which subtly but clearly hints at his long-term, meticulously planned revenge against Amnon, a deadly plot that will unfold over the next two years. The phrase "he is thy brother" is steeped in bitter Irony, as Amnon has committed the most egregious and unbrotherly act imaginable, violating the sacred bond of kinship and the very essence of familial protection. Absalom's "protection" of Tamar through enforced silence also carries a dark irony, as it denies her immediate justice, perpetuates her suffering by silencing her voice, and ultimately serves his own vengeful agenda rather than her true healing. The description of Tamar's "desolate" state evokes deep Pathos, drawing the reader's profound sympathy and sorrow for her irreversible suffering, social ruin, and the permanent scarring of her life. The stark contrast between her former royal status and her ultimate desolation powerfully underscores the tragic consequences of unchecked sin and the devastating breakdown of justice within David's family.
THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
This verse serves as a stark and painful reminder of the devastating consequences of sin, particularly sexual violence, and the profound breakdown of justice within God's chosen family. It vividly illustrates how unchecked lust and a catastrophic failure of leadership (evidenced by David's subsequent inaction) can lead to a destructive cycle of trauma, enforced silence, and ultimately, a misguided pursuit of revenge. This tragic sequence chillingly fulfills the prophetic judgment that the "sword shall never depart" from David's house. Tamar's desolation highlights the deep and enduring suffering of victims when justice is denied and their voices are silenced, emphasizing the critical importance of compassion, advocacy, and righteous intervention for the vulnerable. The narrative underscores that even within a divinely chosen lineage, human sin has real, painful, and far-reaching repercussions, calling for a deeper understanding of God's justice, His demand for righteousness, and His ultimate mercy.
REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
The tragic account of Tamar's desolation in 2 Samuel 13:20 compels us to confront the enduring pain of sexual violence and the profound responsibility of those in positions of power and within families to protect the vulnerable and administer justice. Absalom's command for silence, while perhaps motivated by a twisted sense of honor or a desire for calculated revenge, ultimately serves to further victimize Tamar by denying her agency, voice, and the possibility of immediate healing. This narrative challenges us to critically examine how we, as individuals, communities, and institutions, respond to trauma and injustice. Do we create safe and empathetic spaces where victims can speak their truth and find healing, or do we, by our silence, inaction, or misguided attempts to "keep the peace," inadvertently perpetuate their desolation and compound their suffering? The long-term, devastating consequences of unaddressed sin and injustice, as seen in the subsequent unraveling of David's family, serve as a potent warning against minimizing or ignoring the profound harm caused by such acts. We are called to be empathetic listeners, courageous advocates, and agents of restorative justice, ensuring that no one is left "desolate" in the aftermath of their suffering, but rather finds pathways to healing, dignity, and justice.
Questions for Reflection
FAQ
Why did Absalom tell Tamar to be silent and "regard not this thing"?
Answer: Absalom's command for silence was multi-faceted and deeply calculating. On one hand, it might have been a misguided attempt to prevent further public shame for Tamar and the royal family, as open disclosure of such an act would have brought immense dishonor. However, more significantly, it was a strategic move to keep the incident quiet while he meticulously plotted his revenge against Amnon. By telling Tamar to "regard not this thing," he was effectively instructing her not to dwell on the trauma or seek immediate justice, thereby allowing him the time and space to plan his own form of retribution, which culminated two years later in Amnon's murder (see 2 Samuel 13:28-29). His concern was less for Tamar's healing and more for his own vengeful agenda, using her suffering as a catalyst for his own power play.
What does "Tamar remained desolate" imply about her future?
Answer: The Hebrew word for "desolate" (shomemah) conveys a profound state of ruin, abandonment, and stunning isolation. For Tamar, a royal princess, this meant the complete destruction of her social standing and future prospects. In ancient Israel, a raped woman, especially a virgin, was considered defiled and unmarriageable. Her "desolation" was not merely an emotional state but a harsh social reality: she was effectively ostracized, unable to fulfill the expected role of marriage and motherhood in that society. Though she found physical refuge in Absalom's house, it became a place of perpetual sorrow and social death, a stark contrast to the vibrant life she might have had. Her desolation was a permanent mark of her violation and the tragic failure of justice to protect her.
How did King David react to Amnon's crime against Tamar?
Answer: While 2 Samuel 13:20 focuses on Absalom's reaction, the subsequent verse, 2 Samuel 13:21, states that "when King David heard of all these things, he was very wroth; but he did not punish Amnon his son, for he loved him, because he was his firstborn." David's reaction was one of intense anger, but critically, it was followed by a devastating inaction. His failure to administer justice against Amnon, his firstborn and heir, was a grave dereliction of his duty as both a father and a king. This inaction allowed the injustice to fester, fueled Absalom's deep-seated resentment, and ultimately contributed to the tragic cycle of violence and rebellion that would plague David's house, directly fulfilling Nathan's prophecy from 2 Samuel 12:10.
CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
The tragic narrative of 2 Samuel 13:20, with Tamar's profound desolation and Absalom's chilling silence, powerfully underscores the brokenness of humanity and the desperate need for a perfect King and a new covenant. David's royal house, meant to be a beacon of God's justice and order, is instead consumed by sin, violence, and a devastating failure to protect the innocent and administer righteousness. This profound brokenness points forward to Jesus Christ, the true Son of David, who does not merely react to injustice but actively enters into human suffering. Unlike Amnon, who exploits and violates, or Absalom, who silences and plots revenge, Jesus is the ultimate protector and advocate for the vulnerable. He is the one who gives voice to the oppressed and marginalized, who does not tell victims to "regard not this thing," but instead bears their burdens, offers true healing, and invites the weary and heavy-laden to find rest in Him (see Matthew 11:28). His perfect life, sacrificial death on the cross, and glorious resurrection address the root of the sin that leads to such atrocities, offering forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration where human systems of justice utterly fail. In Christ, Tamar's desolation finds its ultimate answer, as He promises to wipe away every tear and make all things new, ushering in a kingdom where justice, righteousness, and true peace will finally prevail (see Revelation 21:4 and Isaiah 61:1-3).