Proverbs 28:23

KJV

¶ He that rebuketh a man afterwards shall find more favour than he that flattereth with the tongue.

KJV (with Strong's)

He that rebuketh {H3198} a man {H120} afterwards {H310} shall find {H4672} more favour {H2580} than he that flattereth {H2505} with the tongue {H3956}.

Complete Jewish Bible

He who rebukes another person in the end gets more thanks than the flatterer.

Berean Standard Bible

He who rebukes a man will later find more favor than one who flatters with his tongue.

American Standard Version

He that rebuketh a man shall afterward find more favor Than he that flattereth with the tongue.

Commentary

### SUMMARY
Proverbs 28:23 offers a profound and counter-intuitive insight into the enduring value of honest, corrective communication over insincere praise. It posits that while the initial act of rebuking may be uncomfortable or unwelcome, it ultimately cultivates deeper trust and respect, leading to greater and more lasting favor. Conversely, superficial flattery, though immediately pleasing, erodes genuine relationships, diminishes one's credibility, and ultimately reveals a fundamental truth about the nature of integrity in human interaction and the pursuit of true wisdom.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** Proverbs 28 is an integral part of the larger collection of Solomonic proverbs (Proverbs 25-29), which are characterized by their focus on practical wisdom for daily living, often contrasting the righteous with the wicked. This particular chapter emphasizes themes of justice, integrity, leadership, and the consequences of various behaviors. Verses immediately preceding Proverbs 28:23 discuss the dangers of greed and the importance of generosity, highlighting the contrast between self-serving motives and upright conduct (see [Proverbs 28:22](/proverbs/28-22 "Proverbs 28:22 - The Envious Man Hastens to Riches")). Subsequent verses continue to explore the nature of righteous leadership and the folly of trusting one's own heart (e.g., [Proverbs 28:24-26](/proverbs/28-24-26 "Proverbs 28:24-26 - Consequences of Disobedience and Self-Reliance")). Within this broader context, Proverbs 28:23 directly addresses the nature of communication and its profound impact on relationships, aligning perfectly with the book's overarching goal of shaping character and promoting a life of wisdom and discernment.
* **Historical & Cultural Context:** The Book of Proverbs originates from ancient Israel, a society deeply rooted in covenant theology and communal living. Wisdom was highly prized, often passed down through oral tradition and formalized in written collections. In such a communal setting, the ability to give and receive counsel was crucial for maintaining social order, fostering moral development, and promoting individual and collective flourishing. Flattery, in this context, was not merely a social nicety but could be a manipulative tool, undermining trust and leading individuals astray, particularly those in positions of authority. Honest rebuke, though potentially challenging to deliver and receive, was seen as an act of true friendship, loyalty, and responsibility, essential for moral and spiritual development. The concept of "favor" (Hebrew: *chen*) was highly significant, encompassing not just personal liking but also respect, goodwill, and often, divine blessing, which was understood to flow from righteous living and adherence to covenant principles.
* **Key Themes:** Proverbs 28:23 contributes to several key themes prevalent throughout the Book of Proverbs and the broader biblical narrative. It powerfully underscores the **value of truth and integrity** in speech, contrasting it sharply with **deceit and insincerity**. This aligns with the broader biblical emphasis on honesty, as seen in passages like [Proverbs 12:22](/proverbs/12-22 "Proverbs 12:22 - Lying Lips are Abomination to the LORD") which declares, "Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight." The proverb also highlights the theme of **wisdom in relationships**, suggesting that true friendship, effective mentorship, and righteous leadership involve the courage to offer constructive criticism, even when difficult. This idea is powerfully echoed in [Proverbs 27:6](/proverbs/27-6 "Proverbs 27:6 - Faithful Wounds of a Friend"), which states, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." Furthermore, it speaks to the **long-term consequences of actions**, emphasizing that while flattery might yield immediate gratification and superficial popularity, genuine favor is earned through consistent integrity and a commitment to truth—a principle woven throughout the wisdom literature of [Proverbs](/proverbs "The Book of Proverbs").

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS

#### Key Word Analysis
* **Rebuketh (Hebrew, _yâkach'_):** From H3198, this primitive root means "to be right (i.e. correct); reciprocal, to argue; causatively, to decide, justify or convict." It implies far more than a mere scolding; it is a reasoned, purposeful attempt to bring someone to a better understanding, to set them straight, or even to convict them of wrongdoing. The act of rebuking, therefore, is rooted in a desire for truth, righteousness, and the ultimate good of the other person, aiming for correction and restoration rather than simply expressing anger or disapproval. It is an act of courageous love.
* **Favour (Hebrew, _chên'_):** From H2580, this word denotes "graciousness, i.e., subjective (kindness, favor) or objective (beauty)." In the context of Proverbs 28:23, "favor" refers to the positive regard, goodwill, and deep respect that one earns from others. It's a relational concept, indicating a state of being well-regarded and esteemed, often implying a deeper, more lasting appreciation than superficial popularity or momentary pleasantness. This favor is built on trust and the recognition of genuine care.
* **Flattereth (Hebrew, _châlaq'_):** From H2505, this primitive root means "to be smooth (figuratively); by implication (as smooth stones were used for lots) to apportion or separate." When used in the context of speech, as here, it refers to using smooth, agreeable words, often with an underlying motive of insincerity, deceit, or manipulation. It suggests a desire to avoid conflict, to gain personal advantage, or to curry superficial approval by telling people what they want to hear, rather than what they truly need to hear for their growth and well-being.
* **Tongue (Hebrew, _lâshôwn'_):** From H3956, this word literally refers to "the tongue (of man or animals)." In this proverb, it is used figuratively to represent the instrument of speech itself, emphasizing the verbal nature of flattery. The phrase "flattereth with the tongue" highlights that this is a deliberate and conscious act of using words to manipulate or deceive, rather than to genuinely communicate truth.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"He that rebuketh a man":** This initial clause introduces the subject who engages in the courageous and often difficult act of confronting another person with truth, correction, or reproof. The emphasis is on the action of *rebuking*, which, as explored in the Key Word Analysis, implies a reasoned and purposeful attempt to guide someone towards what is right or true. It is an act born out of genuine concern and integrity, even if it causes temporary discomfort or resistance.
* **"afterwards shall find more favour":** This phrase highlights the long-term, delayed benefit of honest confrontation. The word "afterwards" (H310, *ʼachar*) is crucial, indicating that the positive outcome is not immediate but emerges over time, as the recipient processes the truth and recognizes the integrity of the rebuker. The "favor" (H2580, *chên*) found is a deeper, more authentic respect and appreciation, earned because the rebuke was perceived as an act of genuine concern and integrity, leading to growth, wisdom, or improvement in the recipient.
* **"than he that flattereth with the tongue":** This final clause presents a stark contrast, identifying the alternative and less beneficial approach to communication. "Flattereth" (H2505, *châlaq*) implies insincere, smooth speech, often designed to manipulate or gain superficial approval. The addition "with the tongue" (H3956, *lâshôwn*) emphasizes that this is a deliberate act of speech, highlighting the instrument of deceit. While flattery might bring immediate pleasantness and temporary popularity, it ultimately lacks substance, fosters superficiality, and leads to a diminished, rather than increased, true favor in authentic relationships, as it undermines trust and genuine respect.

#### Literary Devices
Proverbs 28:23 primarily employs **Antithetical Parallelism**, a hallmark literary device in wisdom literature where two contrasting ideas are presented in parallel, highlighting their differences and often the superior wisdom of one path over the other. Here, the act of "rebuking a man" is sharply contrasted with "flattering with the tongue," and their respective outcomes ("more favour" versus implied less or no true favor) are set against each other. This structure effectively underscores the proverb's central message by demonstrating the folly and long-term detriment of one path and the wisdom and lasting benefit of the other. Additionally, the phrase "with the tongue" can be seen as a subtle form of **Metonymy**, where "tongue" stands in for the act of speaking or communication itself, emphasizing the verbal and often manipulative nature of flattery. The proverb also contains a subtle **Irony**: the one who seeks immediate approval through pleasantries ultimately loses true favor and respect, while the one who risks immediate disapproval through truth-telling gains lasting esteem and genuine relationship.

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
This proverb deeply resonates with the biblical emphasis on truthfulness, integrity, and the nature of genuine love. From a theological perspective, God Himself is characterized by truth and righteousness, and His interactions with humanity often involve loving correction and rebuke, never flattery. His prophets rebuked Israel, Jesus rebuked the Pharisees, and the Holy Spirit convicts of sin—all acts born of divine love and a desire for humanity's true flourishing. True "favor" in God's eyes is not gained through superficiality or lip service but through a heart committed to truth, righteousness, and genuine repentance. The proverb challenges believers to embody God's character in their relationships, prioritizing the difficult truth that leads to genuine growth and spiritual maturity over the easy lie or insincere praise that fosters stagnation and self-deception. It teaches that authentic relationships, both human and divine, are built on the bedrock of honesty and integrity, even when it is uncomfortable, leading to a deeper, more enduring bond and true favor.

* [Proverbs 27:6](/proverbs/27-6 "Proverbs 27:6 - Faithful Wounds of a Friend")
* [Proverbs 29:5](/proverbs/29-5 "Proverbs 29:5 - Dangers of Flattery")
* [Psalm 141:5](/psalms/141-5 "Psalm 141:5 - Let the righteous smite me")

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Proverbs 28:23 serves as a powerful and practical guide for cultivating authentic relationships and fostering personal and communal growth within families, churches, and workplaces. It challenges us to reflect deeply on our communication habits: Do we prioritize immediate comfort and approval, or are we willing to speak difficult truths in love, with discernment and humility? For those in positions of leadership, whether in the home, church, or workplace, this proverb underscores the profound responsibility to offer constructive criticism and loving correction for the genuine benefit of others, rather than shying away from it to maintain a superficial peace or popularity. For those who receive counsel, it encourages humility, self-awareness, and openness to correction, recognizing that genuine growth often comes through the refining fire of honest feedback, not through constant affirmation or uncritical praise. Ultimately, this proverb calls us to build relationships founded on integrity, where truth is valued as the pathway to deeper trust, mutual respect, and lasting favor, both with God and with others, leading to true flourishing.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **In what specific areas of my life am I tempted to flatter rather than speak truth, and what underlying fears or desires drive this tendency?**
* **How do I typically react when I am rebuked or corrected, and what steps can I take to cultivate a more humble and receptive spirit, recognizing it as a potential path to favor and growth?**
* **What practical steps can I take this week to cultivate a spirit of courageous truth-telling, always tempered with love, discernment, and a genuine desire for the other person's good?**

### FAQ
**Why is honest rebuke preferred over flattery, especially if it might cause initial discomfort?**

Answer: Honest rebuke, as described in Proverbs 28:23, is preferred because it is rooted in genuine concern for another's well-being and growth, even if it causes temporary discomfort. Its purpose is to correct, guide, and improve, leading to lasting benefits for the individual and stronger, more authentic relationships built on trust. Flattery, on the other hand, is often insincere and motivated by self-interest, fear of conflict, or a desire to manipulate. While it may provide immediate pleasure, it prevents self-awareness, hinders personal improvement, and ultimately erodes trust and genuine favor. The Bible consistently warns against deceptive speech, highlighting that truth, though sometimes painful, is ultimately liberating and leads to life (as seen in [John 8:32](/john/8-32 "The Truth Will Set You Free")).

**Does "favour" in this proverb refer to human favor or divine favor?**

Answer: The "favour" (Hebrew: *chên*) in Proverbs 28:23 primarily refers to human favor – the respect, goodwill, and positive regard one earns from others. It speaks to the relational outcome of integrity in communication. However, in the broader context of the wisdom literature, human favor is often intertwined with divine favor. Living wisely and righteously, which includes speaking truth and offering honest counsel, is pleasing to God and often results in His blessing, which can manifest as favor in the eyes of others. The proverb's emphasis on long-term benefit suggests a deeper, more enduring kind of favor that comes from integrity, aligning with the biblical principle that those who walk in truth will be honored by God and others ([Proverbs 3:4](/proverbs/3-4 "Find Favor and Good Understanding")).

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
Proverbs 28:23 finds its ultimate and most profound fulfillment in the person and work of Jesus Christ. He is the quintessential "rebuker" who consistently spoke truth, even when it was unpopular, uncomfortable, or offensive, never resorting to flattery or manipulation. His earthly ministry was characterized by bold proclamations of truth, often challenging the religious leaders for their hypocrisy ([Matthew 23:13-36](/matthew/23 "Woes to the Scribes and Pharisees")), correcting His disciples when they misunderstood His mission or sought worldly glory ([Mark 8:33](/mark/8-33 "Jesus Rebukes Peter")), and fearlessly confronting sin in all its forms. Yet, every one of His rebukes was always born out of perfect love, divine wisdom, and a desire for genuine repentance, transformation, and eternal life. Unlike the flatterer, Jesus did not seek superficial popularity or temporal approval; instead, He spoke the hard truths of the kingdom of God, knowing that it would lead to rejection by many, but to ultimate salvation and eternal life for those who embraced it. His ultimate act of truth-telling was the cross, where the full reality of humanity's sin and God's righteous judgment was revealed, alongside His boundless love. Through this sacrificial act, He secured ultimate favor for humanity—reconciliation with God—demonstrating that the path of truth, though costly and seemingly self-sacrificial, leads to the greatest and most lasting favor imaginable ([Romans 5:10](/romans/5-10 "Reconciled by His Death")). Jesus, the Word made flesh, perfectly embodies the wisdom of this proverb, proving that true favor and lasting relationship are found not in smooth words, but in the courageous, loving, and ultimately redemptive truth that sets us free ([John 14:6](/john/14-6 "Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life")).

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.

Cross-References

Proverbs 27:5

¶ Open rebuke [is] better than secret love.

Proverbs 27:6

Faithful [are] the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy [are] deceitful.

Psalms 141:5

Let the righteous smite me; [it shall be] a kindness: and let him reprove me; [it shall be] an excellent oil, [which] shall not break my head: for yet my prayer also [shall be] in their calamities.

Matthew 18:15

¶ Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

2 Peter 3:15

And account [that] the longsuffering of our Lord [is] salvation; even as our beloved brother Paul also according to the wisdom given unto him hath written unto you;

2 Peter 3:16

As also in all [his] epistles, speaking in them of these things; in which are some things hard to be understood, which they that are unlearned and unstable wrest, as [they do] also the other scriptures, unto their own destruction.

1 Kings 1:23

And they told the king, saying, Behold Nathan the prophet. And when he was come in before the king, he bowed himself before the king with his face to the ground.