2 Samuel 13:11

Translation
King James Version
And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister.
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KJV (with Strong's)
And when she had brought H5066 them unto him to eat H398, he took hold H2388 of her, and said H559 unto her, Come H935 lie H7901 with me, my sister H269.
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Complete Jewish Bible
But when she brought them near, so that he could eat, he grabbed her and said to her, "Come to bed with me, my sister."
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Berean Standard Bible
And when she had brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said, “Come lie with me, my sister!”
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American Standard Version
And when she had brought them near unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come, lie with me, my sister.
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World English Bible Messianic
When she had brought them near to him to eat, he took hold of her, and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister!”
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Geneva Bible (1599)
And when she had set them before him to eate, he tooke her, and sayd vnto her, Come, lye with me, my sister.
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Young's Literal Translation
and she bringeth nigh unto him to eat, and he layeth hold on her, and saith to her, `Come, lie with me, my sister.'
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See also
Genesis 39:11Genesis 39:12
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City Plan: Jerusalem in the Time of David
City Plan: Jerusalem in the Time of David View full PDF
Banishment and Return of Absalom
Banishment and Return of Absalom View full PDF

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In the KJVVerse 8,329 of 31,102

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SUMMARY

2 Samuel 13:11 depicts the horrifying culmination of Amnon's calculated deception, as he physically seizes his half-sister Tamar and forcibly demands sexual intercourse. This pivotal verse reveals Amnon's predatory intent, transforming an act of familial care into a heinous assault, and setting in motion a tragic chain of events that will devastate David's royal household and tragically fulfill prophetic judgment.

CONTEXT

  • Literary Context: This verse serves as the chilling climax of Amnon's elaborate and manipulative scheme, meticulously orchestrated with the wicked counsel of his cousin Jonadab. The preceding verses detail Amnon's feigned illness, David's compassionate response in sending Tamar to minister to her "sick" brother, and Tamar's innocent compliance in preparing special cakes for him in his private chambers. The narrative carefully builds tension, highlighting Tamar's vulnerability and Amnon's cunning control, leading her into an isolated, compromised position. Immediately following this verse, the text describes Tamar's desperate resistance, Amnon's subsequent rape and profound hatred for her, and her eventual discovery by Absalom, her full brother. This ignites Absalom's silent, simmering rage that will eventually lead to Amnon's murder and, ultimately, Absalom's rebellion against David, directly fulfilling Nathan's prophecy to David that "the sword shall never depart from your house" due to David's own sin with Bathsheba.
  • Historical & Cultural Context: In ancient Israel, a king's household was not merely a private residence but often a microcosm of the kingdom, where events had significant political, social, and spiritual ramifications. The honor of a royal daughter, particularly her virginity, was paramount, as it determined her marriageability, the family's standing, and the potential for strategic alliances. Sexual assault, especially incest, was a grave offense, explicitly forbidden by Mosaic Law (e.g., Leviticus 18:9). In this patriarchal society, women had limited legal recourse in such situations, placing the burden of justice largely on the male head of the household or her male relatives. Amnon, as the eldest son and heir apparent, wielded immense power and privilege, which he cruelly abused. The act of a "sister" preparing food for a "sick" brother was a common act of familial care and affection, making Amnon's calculated betrayal all the more egregious and shocking.
  • Key Themes: This verse powerfully contributes to several overarching themes within 2 Samuel and the broader Deuteronomistic History. It starkly illustrates the destructive consequences of unchecked lust and sinful desire, showing how Amnon's obsession, fueled by wicked counsel, leads to a heinous crime that shatters familial bonds. It highlights the pervasive theme of sin's ripple effect, as Amnon's act not only devastates Tamar but also fractures David's family, leading to fratricide and rebellion, directly fulfilling the divine judgment pronounced in 2 Samuel 12:10-12. The narrative also underscores the abuse of power and authority, as Amnon, a prince, leverages his position and familial trust to commit violence against a vulnerable family member. Furthermore, it brings to the fore the theme of brokenness and moral decay within David's own house, demonstrating that even God's chosen king and his descendants are susceptible to profound sin and its devastating repercussions, emphasizing the universal need for divine grace and justice.

EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS

Key Word Analysis

  • took hold (Hebrew, châzaq', H2388): This verb (H2388) signifies "to fasten upon," "to seize," or "to grasp firmly." In this context, it unequivocally denotes a forceful, non-consensual physical restraint. It highlights Amnon's exertion of power and control over Tamar, stripping her of her agency and preparing for the impending violation. It is not a gentle embrace but a violent appropriation, emphasizing the coercive nature of his actions.
  • lie (Hebrew, shâkab', H7901): This verb (H7901) is a primitive root meaning "to lie down" for various purposes, including "sexual connection." While often a euphemism for sexual relations, its use here, immediately following "he took hold of her," confirms the violent and non-consensual nature of the act. It signifies Amnon's intent to force sexual intercourse upon Tamar, transforming a common euphemism into a stark declaration of predatory intent.
  • sister (Hebrew, ʼâchôwth', H269): This noun (H269) refers to a "sister" and is used broadly for close familial bonds. Amnon's address of Tamar as "my sister" in this context is deeply perverse and ironic. It highlights the profound betrayal of the sacred familial relationship and underscores the incestuous nature of his demand. It signifies a complete disregard for the boundaries and sanctity of kinship, turning a term of endearment and familial respect into a tool of manipulation and violation.

Verse Breakdown

  • "And when she had brought [them] unto him to eat": This clause emphasizes Tamar's innocent compliance with her father's request and Amnon's deceptive ruse. She is performing an act of familial care, bringing the special cakes she has prepared for her "sick" brother. This moment highlights her vulnerability and the extent of Amnon's premeditated treachery, as he has successfully lured her into a private, isolated setting where his true intentions can be revealed, making her utterly defenseless.
  • "he took hold of her": This is the precise turning point, the moment of physical aggression and the shattering of all pretense. The verb "took hold" signifies a forceful, non-consensual seizure, marking the transition from psychological manipulation to physical coercion. This action strips Tamar of her freedom, signals the imminent assault, and unequivocally reveals Amnon's predatory nature, exposing the lie of his feigned illness and brotherly affection.
  • "and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister": This is Amnon's explicit demand for sexual intercourse, uttered immediately after physically restraining her. The command "Come lie with me" is a direct, predatory proposition, while the address "my sister" underscores the abhorrent incestuous nature of the demand and the profound violation of familial trust. This statement encapsulates Amnon's depravity and his complete disregard for Tamar's personhood, her honor, and divine law, confirming his intent to commit a heinous crime.

Literary Devices

The verse employs several powerful literary devices that amplify its tragic impact. Irony is profoundly present, as Amnon's feigned illness and Tamar's compassionate act of preparing food are twisted into a calculated trap for sexual assault; the very act of care becomes the mechanism of her vulnerability. There is a strong sense of pathos, evoking deep pity for Tamar's helplessness and the profound violation she is about to endure at the hands of her own brother. The phrase "my sister" functions as verbal irony, as it is a term of familial endearment and protection used in the context of a heinous betrayal and assault, highlighting the perversion of the relationship. Furthermore, the verse acts as a dramatic climax to the preceding narrative buildup, representing the moment of no return in Amnon's wicked scheme and foreshadowing the cascade of tragic consequences that will unfold within David's family.

THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS

This verse tragically illustrates the pervasive nature of sin and its capacity to corrupt even the most sacred bonds and institutions, including the royal family of God's chosen king. It serves as a stark reminder that unchecked desire, coupled with a callous disregard for divine law and human dignity, inevitably leads to devastating consequences. The theological implications extend to the brokenness of humanity's fallen state, demonstrating that even those within the covenant community are not immune to profound moral failure. This event underscores the critical need for righteous leadership, justice, and accountability, which, in David's case, were tragically lacking in the immediate aftermath, contributing to further familial and national strife.

REFLECTION AND APPLICATION

The chilling account of 2 Samuel 13:11 offers profound and unsettling insights into the human heart and the pervasive nature of sin. It compels us to reflect on the destructive power of unchecked lust and selfish desire, which, when entertained and encouraged, can lead to unspeakable acts of violence and betrayal. This narrative serves as a sobering warning about the importance of guarding our hearts and minds, recognizing that sin often begins with a thought or a desire that, if not brought under the authority of God's Word and surrendered to His transforming power, can fester and produce catastrophic fruit. It also highlights our collective responsibility to protect the vulnerable, to speak out against injustice, and to create environments where such predatory actions are not only condemned but actively prevented. The ripple effect of Amnon's sin, which fractured a family and ultimately led to civil war, reminds us that no sin is isolated; its consequences often extend far beyond the immediate act, impacting communities and generations, underscoring the vital need for repentance, justice, and healing.

Questions for Reflection

  • How does Amnon's premeditated deception highlight the insidious nature of sin, and what lessons can we draw about guarding our own hearts from corrupt desires?
  • In what ways does this narrative challenge us to consider our responsibility to protect the vulnerable and speak out against abuse, especially when it occurs within trusted relationships or institutions?
  • What are the long-term consequences of unaddressed sin and injustice, both in personal lives and within communities, as illustrated by the aftermath of Amnon's act?

FAQ

Why did Amnon address Tamar as "my sister" when his intent was so malicious?

Answer: Amnon's use of "my sister" (Hebrew: 'aḥōtī') in this context is deeply ironic and perverse, serving multiple manipulative purposes. First, it maintained the facade of familial care and trust, which was crucial for luring Tamar into his private chambers under the guise of her tending to a sick brother. Second, it underscores the profound betrayal of the sacred familial bond, making his subsequent act of sexual assault even more heinous and violating. The term "sister" should have implied protection and respect, but Amnon twisted it into a tool for manipulation and abuse. It highlights the incestuous nature of his demand, a clear violation of divine law (see Leviticus 18:9). Finally, it may have been a psychological tactic to disarm Tamar, making her less likely to suspect his true intentions until it was too late, by appealing to their shared kinship and implying a safe, familial interaction.

CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT

The tragic account of Amnon and Tamar, deeply stained by sin, betrayal, and violence, points powerfully to the profound need for a Savior and finds its ultimate fulfillment in Jesus Christ. This narrative, a stark reminder of humanity's fallenness and the devastating consequences of unchecked lust and abuse of power, stands in stark contrast to the perfect righteousness and self-sacrificial love of Christ. Where Amnon exploited and destroyed, Jesus came to heal and restore, offering true freedom and abundant life. He is the true King who embodies perfect justice and compassion, unlike David, who tragically failed to adequately address the sin within his own house, leading to further devastation. Christ, the ultimate protector and Good Shepherd, laid down His life not to violate, but to redeem those who are vulnerable and broken by sin, offering true healing from the spiritual and emotional wounds inflicted by a fallen world. His pure and unwavering love, unlike Amnon's twisted desire, leads to life and reconciliation. The brokenness of David's family, a direct consequence of sin (2 Samuel 12:10), foreshadows the universal human condition under the curse of sin, from which only Christ can deliver. Through His atoning sacrifice, Jesus takes away the sin of the world (John 1:29), offering forgiveness and the power to live a new life, free from the dominion of sin and its destructive patterns, ultimately establishing a kingdom where true justice, peace, and righteousness reign (Romans 6:23).

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Commentary on 2 Samuel 13 verses 1–20

I. II. Main points1. 2. Sub-points

We have here a particular account of the abominable wickedness of Amnon in ravishing his sister, a subject not fit to be enlarged upon nor indeed to be mentioned without blushing, that ever any man should be so vile, especially that a son of David should be so. Amnon's character, we have reason to think, was bad in other things; if he had not forsaken God, he would never have been given up to these vile affections. Godly parents have often been afflicted with wicked children; grace does not run in the blood, but corruption does. We do not find that David's children imitated him in his devotion; but his false steps they trod in, and in those did much worse, and repented not. Parents know not how fatal the consequences may be if in any instance they give their children bad examples. Observe the steps of Amnon's sin.

I. The devil, as an unclean spirit, put it into his heart to lust after his sister Tamar. Beauty is a snare to many; it was so to her. She was fair, and therefore Amnon coveted her, Sa2 13:1. Those that are peculiarly handsome have no reason, on that account, to be proud, but great reason to stand upon their watch. Amnon's lust was, 1. Unnatural in itself, to lust after his sister, which even natural conscience startles at and cannot think of without horror. Such a spirit of contradiction there is in man's corrupt nature that still it desires forbidden fruit, and the more strongly it is forbidden the more greedily it is desired. Can he entertain the thought of betraying that virtue and honour of which, as a brother, he ought to have been the protector? But what wickedness so vile as not to find admittance into an unsanctified unguarded heart, left to itself? 2. It was very uneasy to him. He was so vexed that he could not gain an opportunity to solicit her chastity (for innocent converse with her was not denied him) that he fell sick, Sa2 13:2. Fleshly lusts are their own punishment, and not only war against the soul, but against the body too, and are the rottenness of the bones. See what a hard master sinners serve, and how heavy his yoke is.

II. The devil, as a subtle serpent, put it into his head how to compass this wicked design. Amnon had a friend (so he called him, but he was really an enemy to him), a kinsman, that had in him more of David's blood (for he was his nephew) than of David's spirit, for he was a subtle man, cunning to carry on any bad design, especially an intrigue of this nature, Sa2 13:3.

1.He took notice that Amnon looked ill, and, being a subtle man, concluded that he was love-sick (Sa2 13:4), and asks him, "Why art thou, being the king's son, lean from day to day? Why dost thou pine, being the king's eldest son, and heir to the crown. Being the king's son," (1.) "Thou hast the pleasures of the court to divert thee; take those pleasures then, and with them drive away the sorrow, whatever it is." Content and comfort are not always to be found in royal palaces. With much more reason may we ask dejected and disconsolate saints why they, who are the children of the King of kings and heirs of the crown of life, are thus lean from day to day. (2.) "Thou hast the power of a prince to command what thou wantest and wishest for; use that power therefore, and gratify thyself. Pine not away for that which, lawful or unlawful, thou, being the king's son, mayest have. Quicquid libet licet - Your will is law." Thus Jezebel to Ahab in a like case (Kg1 21:7), Dost not thou govern Israel? The abuse of power is the most dangerous temptation of the great.

2.Amnon having the impudence to own his wicked lust, miscalling it love (I love Tamar), Jonadab put him in a way to compass his design, Sa2 13:5. Had he been what he pretended (Amnon's friend), he would have startled at the mention of such horrid wickedness, would have laid before him the evil of it, what an offence it was to God and what a wrong to his own soul to entertain such a vile thought, of what fatal consequence it would be to him to cherish and prosecute it; he would have used his subtlety to divert Amnon from it, by recommending some other person to him, whom he might lawfully marry. But he seems not at all surprised at it, objects not either the unlawfulness or the difficulty, the reproach or so much as his father's displeasure, but puts him in the way to get Tamar to his bed-side, and then he might do as he pleased. Note, The case of those is very miserable whose friends, instead of admonishing and reproving them, flatter them and forward them in their sinful ways, and are their counsellors and contrivers to do wickedly. Amnon is already sick, but goes about; he must take upon him to be so ill (and his thin looks will give colour enough to the pretence) as not to be able to get up, and to have no appetite to any thing but just that which pleases his fancy. Dainty meat is abhorred, Job 33:20. The best dish from the king's table cannot please him; but, if he can eat any thing, it must be from his sister Tamar's fair hand. This is what he is advised to.

3.Amnon followed these directions, and thus got Tamar within his reach: He made himself sick, Sa2 13:6. Thus he lieth in wait secretly, as a lion in his den, to catch the poor, and to draw them into his net, Psa 10:8-10. David was always fond of his children, and concerned if any thing ailed them; he no sooner hears that Amnon is sick than he comes himself to visit him. Let parents learn hence to be tender of their children and compassionate towards them. The sick child commonly the mother comforteth (Isa 66:13), but let not the father be unconcerned. We may suppose that when David came to see his sick son he gave him good counsel to make a right use of his affliction, and prayed with him, which yet did not alter his wicked purpose. At parting, the indulgent father asks, "Is there any thing thou hast a mind to, that I can procure for thee?" "Yes, Sir," says the dissembling son, "my stomach is weak, and I know not of any thing I can eat, unless it be a cake of my sister Tamar's making, and I cannot be satisfied that it is so unless I see her make it, and it will do me the more good if I eat it at her hand." David saw no reason to suspect any mischief intended. God hid his heart from understanding in this matter. He therefore immediately orders Tamar to go and attend her sick brother, Sa2 13:7. He does it very innocently, but afterwards, no doubt, reflected upon it with great regret. Tamar as innocently goes to her brother's chamber, neither dreading any abuse (why should she from a brother, a sick brother?) nor disdaining, in obedience to her father and love to her brother (though but her half-brother), to be his nurse, Sa2 13:8, Sa2 13:9. Though she was a king's daughter, a great beauty (Sa2 13:1), and well dressed (Sa2 13:18), yet she did not think it below her to knead cakes and bake them, nor would she have done this now if she had not been used to it. Good house-wifery is not a thing below the greatest ladies, nor ought they to think it a disparagement to them. The virtuous woman, whose husband sits among the elders, yet works willingly with her hands, Pro 31:13. Modern ages have not been destitute of such instances, nor is it so unfashionable as some would make it. Preparing for the sick should be more the care and delight of the ladies than preparing for the nice, charity more than curiosity.

4.Having got her to him, he contrives to have her alone; for the adulterer (much more so vile an adulterer as this) is in care that no eye see him, Job 24:15. The meat is ready, but he cannot eat while he is looked at by those about him; they must all be turned out, Sa2 13:9. The sick must be humoured, and think they have a privilege to command. Tamar is willing to humour him; her chaste and virtuous soul has not the least thought of that which his polluted breast is full of; and therefore she makes no scruple of being alone with him in the inner chamber, Sa2 13:10. And now the mask is thrown off, the meat is thrown by, and the wicked wretch calls her sister, and yet impudently courts her to come and lie with him, Sa2 13:11. It was a base affront to her virtue to think it possible to persuade her to consent to such wickedness when he knew her behaviour to be always exemplarily modest and virtuous. But it is common for those that live in uncleanness to think others such as themselves, at least tinder to their sparks.

III. The devil, as a strong tempter, deafens his ear to all the reasonings with which she resisted his assaults and would have persuaded him to desist. We may well imagine what a surprise and terror it was to the young lady to be thus attacked, how she blushed and how she trembled; yet, in this great confusion, nothing could be said more pertinently, nor with greater strength of argument, than what she said to him. 1. She calls him brother, reminding him of the nearness of the relation, which made it unlawful for him to marry her, much more to debauch her. It was expressly forbidden (Lev 18:9) under a severe penalty, Lev 20:17. Great care must be taken lest the love that should be among relations degenerate into lust. 2. She entreats him not to force her, which intimates that she would never consent to it in any degree; and what satisfaction could he take in offering violence? 3. She lays before him the great wickedness of it. It is folly; all sin is so, especially uncleanness. It is wickedness of the worst kind. Such abominations ought not to be committed in Israel, among the professing people of God, that have better statutes than the heathen have. We are Israelites; if we do such things, we are more inexcusable than others, and our condemnation will be more intolerable, for we reproach the Lord, and that worthy name by which we are called. 4. She represents to him the shame of it, which perhaps might influence him more than the sin of it: "For my part, whither shall I cause my shame to go? If it should be concealed, yet I shall blush to think of it as long as I live; and, if ever it be known, how shall I be able to look any of my friends in the face? For thy part, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel," that is, "Thou wilt be looked upon as an atrocious debauchee, the worst of men; thou wilt lose thy interest in the esteem of all that are wise and good, and so wilt be set aside as unfit to rule, though the first-born; for Israel will never submit to the government of such a fool." Prospect of shame, especially everlasting shame, should deter us from sin. 5. To divert him from his wicked purpose at this time, and (if possible) to get clear of him, she intimates to him that probably the king, rather than he should die for love of her, would dispense with the divine law and let him marry her: not as if she thought he had such a dispensing power, or would pretend to it; but she was confident that, upon notice given to the king by himself of this wicked desire, which he would scarcely have believed from any one else, he would take an effectual course to protect her from him. But all her arts and all her arguments availed not. His proud spirit cannot bear a denial; but her comfort, and honour, and all that was dear to her, must be sacrificed to his brutish and outrageous lust, Sa2 13:14. It is to be feared that Amnon, though young, had long lived a lewd life, which his father either knew not or punished not; for a man could not, of a sudden, arrive at such a pitch of wickedness as this. But is this his love to Tamar? Is this the recompence he gives her for her readiness to attend him in his sickness? Will he deal with his sister as with a harlot? Base villain! God deliver all that are modest and virtuous from such wicked and unreasonable men.

IV. The devil, as a tormentor and betrayer, immediately turns his love of her into hatred (Sa2 13:15): He hated her with great hatred, greatly, so it is in the margin, and grew as outrageous in his malice as he had been in his lust.

1.He basely turned her out of doors by force; nay, as if he now disdained to touch her with his own hands, he ordered his servant to pull her out and bolt the door after her, Sa2 13:17. Now, (1.) The innocent injured lady had reason to resent this as a great affront, and in some respects (as she says, Sa2 13:16) worse than the former; for nothing could have been done more barbarous and ill-natured, or more disgraceful to her. Had he taken care to conceal what was done, her honour would have been lost to herself only. Had he gone down on his knees and begged her pardon, it might have been some little reparation. Had he given her time to compose herself after the horrid confusion she was put into, she might have kept her countenance when she went out, and so have kept her counsel. But to dismiss her thus hurried, thus rudely, as if she had done some wicked thing, obliged her, in her own defence, to proclaim the wrong that had been done her. (2.) We may learn from it both the malignity of sin (unbridled passions are as bad as unbridled appetites) and the mischievous consequences of sin (at last, it bites like a serpent); for here we find, [1.] That sins, sweet in the commission, afterwards become odious and painful, and the sinner's own conscience makes them so to himself. Amnon hated Tamar because she would not consent to his wickedness, and so take part of the blame upon herself, but to the last resisted it, and reasoned against it, and so threw all the blame upon him. Had he hated the sin, and loathed himself for it, we might have hoped he was penitent. Godly sorrow worketh indignation, Co2 7:11. But to hate the person he had abused showed that his conscience was terrified, but his heart not at all humbled. See what deceitful pleasures those of the flesh are, how soon they pass away, and turn into loathing; see Eze 23:17. [2.] That sins, secret in the commission, afterwards become open and public, and the sinners themselves often make them so. Their own tongues fall upon them. The Jewish doctors say that, upon the occasion of this wickedness of Amnon, a law was made that a young man and a young woman should never be alone together; for, said they, if the king's daughter be so used, what will become of the children of private men?

2.We must now leave the criminal to the terrors of his own guilty conscience, and enquire what becomes of the poor victim. (1.) She bitterly lamented the injury she had received, as it was a stain to her honour, though no real blemish to her virtue. She tore her fine clothes in token of her grief, and put ashes upon her head, to deform herself, loathing her own beauty and ornaments, because they had occasioned Amnon's unlawful love; and she went on crying for another's sin, Sa2 13:19. (2.) She retired to her brother Absalom's house, because he was her own brother, and there she lived in solitude and sorrow, in token of her modesty and detestation of uncleanness. Absalom spoke kindly to her, bade her pass by the injury for the present, designing himself to revenge it, Sa2 13:20. It should seem by Absalom's question (Has Amnon been with thee?) that Amnon was notorious for such lewd practices, so that it was dangerous for a modest woman to be with him; this Absalom might know, and yet Tamar be wholly ignorant of it.

Matthew Henry (1662–1714) — Commentary on the Whole Bible. This section covers verses 1–20. Public domain.
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JeromeAD 420
LETTER 22.12
As if to show that near relationship is no safeguard, Amnon burned with illicit passion for his sister Tamar.
Fructuosus of BragaAD 665
GENERAL RULE FOR MONASTERIES 17
No man shall rely upon chastity in the past, for none whose hearts are tainted by women can become holier than David or wiser than Solomon. That none may assume that his chastity is safe in the presence of a woman related to him, let him remember how Tamar was corrupted by her brother Amnon when he pretended to be ill. Accordingly, both monks and nuns should live so chastely that they may have a good report, not only before God but also before people, and may leave to those who follow an example of sanctity.
Source: Quotations drawn from early Church Fathers and historical Christian theologians (AD 100–1500). Some quotes address the surrounding passage context rather than this verse alone.
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