Matthew 10:35

KJV

For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

KJV (with Strong's)

For {G1063} I am come {G2064} to set {G1369} a man {G444} at variance {G1369} against {G2596} his {G846} father {G3962}, and {G2532} the daughter {G2364} against {G2596} her {G846} mother {G3384}, and {G2532} the daughter in law {G3565} against {G2596} her {G846} mother in law {G3994}.

Complete Jewish Bible

For I have come to set

Berean Standard Bible

For I have come to turn ‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.

American Standard Version

For I came to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law:

Commentary

### SUMMARY
Matthew 10:35 is a profound and challenging declaration by Jesus, asserting that His arrival and the message of the Kingdom would inevitably bring division, even within the most intimate family units. This statement, delivered as part of His instructions to the twelve apostles, underscores the radical and uncompromising nature of discipleship, demanding an ultimate allegiance to Christ that may supersede traditional familial bonds and lead to spiritual separation among loved ones.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** This verse is situated within Jesus' extensive commissioning discourse to His twelve apostles in [Matthew 10](/matthew/10 "Matthew 10 - Jesus Commissions the Twelve"). Having empowered them and sent them out to proclaim the Kingdom and heal, Jesus immediately warns them of the severe opposition and persecution they will face ([Matthew 10:16-25](/matthew/10-16-25 "Matthew 10:16-25 - Warnings of Persecution")). The preceding verse, [Matthew 10:34](/matthew/10-34 "Matthew 10:34 - Jesus brings a sword, not peace"), explicitly states, "Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword." Matthew 10:35 then elaborates on the specific nature of this "sword," revealing that its divisive effect would penetrate the very core of society—the family. This entire section serves to prepare the disciples for the profound and often uncomfortable implications of their mission and the radical demands of following Christ.
* **Historical & Cultural Context:** In ancient Jewish society, the family unit was the foundational pillar of identity, security, and social structure. Loyalty to one's family, especially one's parents, was paramount, deeply embedded in the Mosaic Law ([Exodus 20:12](/exodus/20-12 "Exodus 20:12 - Honor Your Father and Mother")) and reinforced by cultural norms of honor and shame. Economic survival, social standing, and personal identity were inextricably linked to one's lineage and familial relationships. Therefore, Jesus' declaration that He would "set a man at variance against his father" was not merely a prediction of social friction but a radical, counter-cultural statement that challenged the very bedrock of Jewish societal values. It implied that allegiance to Him would transcend even the most sacred human bonds, a concept that would have been deeply shocking and potentially scandalous to His original audience.
* **Key Themes:** Matthew 10:35 powerfully contributes to several overarching themes within Matthew's Gospel and the broader New Testament. Firstly, it highlights **The Cost of Discipleship**, emphasizing that following Jesus demands absolute and uncompromising allegiance, even when it means sacrificing cherished relationships. This radical call to prioritize Christ above all else is further underscored in [Matthew 10:37](/matthew/10-37 "Matthew 10:37 - Loving Christ More Than Family"). Secondly, the verse reveals **Truth as a Divisive Force**. While the Gospel brings ultimate peace with God, its uncompromising truth often creates conflict and separation in a world unwilling to fully embrace its demands. The "variance" is not Jesus' desired outcome for its own sake, but an inevitable consequence when the light of the Kingdom ([Matthew 4:17](/matthew/4-17 "Matthew 4:17 - Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at Hand")) encounters resistance, leading to spiritual schisms even within families. Lastly, it reinforces the theme of **Prioritizing Christ's Kingdom**, asserting that the Kingdom of God establishes a new order of loyalty that transcends all earthly ties.

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS
#### Key Word Analysis
* **come (Greek, _érchomai'_):** (G2064) This verb signifies "to come or go (in a great variety of applications, literally and figuratively)." In this context, it emphasizes Jesus' intentional and purposeful advent. He "came" not by accident, but with a specific mission and divine mandate, which inherently involved the consequences described in the verse. His coming is an active, deliberate act, underscoring the authority and inevitability of His mission's impact.
* **set at variance (Greek, _dicházō'_):** (G1369) Derived from a word meaning "twice" or "two," _dicházō_ literally means "to make apart," "to divide into two parts," or "to sunder." Figuratively, it means "to alienate" or "to set at variance." This word precisely captures the essence of the verse: Jesus' mission will create a definitive split, a schism, that separates individuals, even within the closest family units, based on their response to Him. It is not merely disagreement, but a profound spiritual and relational division.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"For I am come to set a man at variance against his father":** This opening clause immediately establishes Jesus' active role in initiating the division. The phrase "I am come" (Greek: _ēlthon_) indicates His purposeful arrival and the inherent nature of His mission. The "man against his father" represents the primary generational and patriarchal relationship, the most fundamental and respected bond in ancient Jewish society, signifying that no relationship, however sacred, would be immune to the divisive impact of His message.
* **"and the daughter against her mother":** This clause extends the principle of division to the female lineage, illustrating that the spiritual schism would affect both male and female family members, breaking down the traditional mother-daughter bond. It shows the comprehensive nature of the division, affecting all familial relationships.
* **"and the daughter in law against her mother in law":** This final clause further broadens the scope of division to include extended family relationships, specifically the often complex bond between a daughter-in-law and her husband's mother. This emphasizes the pervasive and far-reaching nature of the separation, indicating that the Gospel's demands would challenge even those relationships formed through marriage, requiring a choice of ultimate loyalty to Christ above all else.

#### Literary Devices
Matthew 10:35 employs several powerful literary devices to convey its challenging message. The primary device is **Hyperbole**, particularly when read in conjunction with the preceding verse's mention of a "sword." While Jesus does not literally intend to incite physical violence or animosity within families, the strong language of "set at variance" (dicházō) and the imagery of a "sword" ([Matthew 10:34](/matthew/10-34 "Matthew 10:34 - Jesus brings a sword, not peace")) are hyperbolic expressions designed to emphasize the profound and often painful spiritual division that His message would inevitably cause. It highlights the radical choice required for true discipleship. Additionally, there is clear **Parallelism** in the repetitive structure of "man against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law." This tripartite structure reinforces the universality of the division, showing that it would affect all types of familial relationships. The "sword" in [Matthew 10:34](/matthew/10-34 "Matthew 10:34 - Jesus brings a sword, not peace") also functions as **Metonymy**, where the instrument (sword) stands for the effect (division or conflict), further underscoring the sharpness and decisiveness of the spiritual separation Jesus' mission would bring.

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
Matthew 10:35 is a stark reminder that while Jesus is the "Prince of Peace" ([Isaiah 9:6](/isaiah/9-6 "Isaiah 9:6 - Prince of Peace")), the peace He offers is primarily vertical—peace with God—rather than horizontal, immediate societal tranquility. His coming, and the truth of His Kingdom, inherently disrupt the status quo, challenging all competing loyalties and demanding ultimate allegiance. This verse underscores the radical nature of the Gospel, which often forces individuals to make a definitive choice between following Christ and maintaining conventional human bonds, especially when those bonds conflict with divine truth. It reveals that the path of discipleship is not always one of ease or social harmony, but can involve profound personal cost and relational fracturing for the sake of prioritizing God's will.

* [Luke 12:51-53](/luke/12-51-53 "Luke 12:51-53 - Jesus Brings Division") - This parallel passage in Luke reinforces the theme of division, explicitly stating, "Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division."
* [Matthew 10:37](/matthew/10-37 "Matthew 10:37 - Loving Christ More Than Family") - Immediately following, this verse clarifies the reason for the division: "He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me." It establishes the absolute priority of allegiance to Christ.
* [Luke 14:26](/luke/14-26 "Luke 14:26 - The Radical Call to Discipleship") - This even stronger statement ("If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother...") emphasizes the radical, comparative nature of loyalty required for true discipleship.

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Matthew 10:35 serves as a sobering yet essential reminder for believers across generations: the path of following Christ is not always paved with ease or universal acceptance. It calls us to deeply examine the true object of our ultimate loyalty. Are we prepared for the potential friction, misunderstanding, or even alienation that may arise when our commitment to Christ conflicts with the expectations or beliefs of those closest to us? This verse is not an endorsement of unnecessary conflict or a call to abandon family, but a realistic prophecy that the Gospel, by its very nature, demands a choice that can expose and divide. It challenges us to cultivate a faith so deeply rooted in Christ that it transcends all other earthly allegiances, finding our primary identity and belonging in Him. When such divisions occur, the call is not to despair, but to stand firm in faith, demonstrating grace and truth, and trusting in God's sovereign plan, knowing that the peace Christ gives internally ([John 14:27](/john/14-27 "John 14:27 - Jesus Gives Peace")) can sustain us through external strife.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **In what ways might my commitment to Christ create tension or division within my own family or social circles?**
* **Am I truly prepared to prioritize my allegiance to Jesus above all other human relationships, even if it means facing misunderstanding or opposition from loved ones?**
* **How can I navigate familial disagreements stemming from faith differences with both truth and grace, without compromising my convictions?**
* **What does it mean to find "peace" in Christ when my external circumstances, particularly family relationships, are marked by division?**

### FAQ
**Does Jesus actually desire to break up families?**

Answer: No, Jesus does not desire to break up families for the sake of division itself. Rather, Matthew 10:35 is a prophetic statement about the *inevitable consequence* of His mission and the radical demands of the Gospel. The "variance" or division arises when individuals respond differently to Jesus' call for ultimate allegiance. While the Gospel brings peace with God, it often exposes existing spiritual divides and forces a choice, which can lead to relational friction, particularly within families where some embrace Christ and others do not. Jesus' ultimate aim is reconciliation and peace through faith in Him ([Ephesians 2:14](/ephesians/2-14 "Ephesians 2:14 - Christ Our Peace")), but this sometimes requires a prior separation from competing loyalties.

**How does this verse reconcile with other biblical teachings about peace and family unity?**

Answer: This verse highlights a crucial distinction: the peace Jesus brings is primarily spiritual peace with God, which then transforms individuals. This internal peace does not always translate into immediate external social harmony, especially in a world resistant to God's truth. While the Bible consistently upholds the sanctity of family and calls for peace and unity ([Colossians 3:15](/colossians/3-15 "Colossians 3:15 - Let the Peace of Christ Rule")), it also teaches that allegiance to God must always take precedence. When family loyalties or worldly values conflict with God's commands, the believer is called to prioritize Christ, even if it leads to friction. This tension reveals the depth of commitment required for true discipleship.

**What should a Christian do if their family is divided because of their faith?**

Answer: If faith creates division in a family, a Christian is called to respond with both conviction and grace. The primary allegiance remains with Christ ([Matthew 10:37](/matthew/10-37 "Matthew 10:37 - Loving Christ More Than Family")), but this does not mean abandoning or disrespecting family members. Instead, it calls for living out one's faith authentically, demonstrating Christ's love, patience, and forgiveness. While standing firm in truth, believers should pray for their family, seek opportunities to share the Gospel with gentleness and respect, and trust God to work in His time. The goal is not to sever ties, but to live in such a way that Christ is honored, and perhaps, through one's faithful witness, others may eventually come to know Him.

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
Matthew 10:35, though seemingly harsh, finds its profound Christ-centered fulfillment not in Jesus desiring familial strife, but in His establishment of a new, spiritual family founded on allegiance to Him. Jesus Himself experienced rejection from His own earthly family ([Mark 3:31-35](/mark/3-31-35 "Mark 3:31-35 - Jesus' True Family")), foreshadowing the very divisions He spoke of. His mission was to gather a people for Himself, a new humanity whose primary identity and loyalty would be found in Him, transcending all earthly distinctions and bonds ([Galatians 3:28](/galatians/3-28 "Galatians 3:28 - No Jew or Gentile, Slave or Free, Male or Female in Christ")). The "variance" He brings is ultimately a necessary sorting, a divine surgery that separates those who choose His Kingdom from those who cling to worldly allegiances. Yet, in this very division, Jesus offers the ultimate peace—not the absence of conflict, but the profound peace of reconciliation with God through His atoning sacrifice. Those who choose Him become part of His eternal family, united by His Spirit, finding a deeper, unbreakable bond in Him that surpasses any earthly relationship. Thus, the temporary division serves the higher purpose of forging an eternal unity in Christ, the true head of this new, redeemed family. Even amidst the world's tribulation, He assures His followers, "In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world" ([John 16:33](/john/16-33 "John 16:33 - Jesus Overcomes the World")).

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.

Cross-References

Micah 7:5

Trust ye not in a friend, put ye not confidence in a guide: keep the doors of thy mouth from her that lieth in thy bosom.

Micah 7:6

For the son dishonoureth the father, the daughter riseth up against her mother, the daughter in law against her mother in law; a man's enemies [are] the men of his own house.

Matthew 10:21

And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against [their] parents, and cause them to be put to death.

Luke 21:16

And ye shall be betrayed both by parents, and brethren, and kinsfolks, and friends; and [some] of you shall they cause to be put to death.

Mark 13:12

Now the brother shall betray the brother to death, and the father the son; and children shall rise up against [their] parents, and shall cause them to be put to death.

Matthew 24:10

And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another.