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Translation
King James Version
And say, How have I hated instruction, and my heart despised reproof;
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KJV (with Strong's)
And say H559, How have I hated H8130 instruction H4148, and my heart H3820 despised H5006 reproof H8433;
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Complete Jewish Bible
"How I hated discipline! My whole being despised reproof,
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Berean Standard Bible
and you will say, “How I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof!
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American Standard Version
And say, How have I hated instruction, And my heart despised reproof;
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World English Bible Messianic
and say, “How I have hated instruction, and my heart despised reproof;
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Geneva Bible (1599)
And say, How haue I hated instruction, and mine heart despised correction!
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Young's Literal Translation
And hast said, `How have I hated instruction, And reproof hath my heart despised,
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SUMMARY

Proverbs 5:12 captures the profound and bitter lament of an individual who, having succumbed to destructive choices, now faces the devastating consequences of their past rejection of wise counsel and moral discipline. This verse serves as a poignant articulation of self-reproach, revealing the deep, internal anguish that arises from a life lived in defiance of foundational instruction and corrective guidance, ultimately leading to ruin and regret.

CONTEXT

  • Literary Context: This verse is situated within the broader context of Proverbs 5, a chapter dedicated to a father's urgent warning to his son against the seductive and ruinous path of sexual immorality, personified as the "strange woman" or adulteress. The chapter begins by extolling the virtues of wisdom and discretion as safeguards against this peril, urging the son to "attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding" (Proverbs 5:1-2). It then vividly contrasts the initial allure of forbidden pleasure—"her lips drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil" (Proverbs 5:3)—with its devastating long-term effects: "but her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword" (Proverbs 5:4). The narrative progresses to describe the physical, financial, and reputational ruin that awaits those who fall prey to such temptation, leading to the loss of wealth, health, and honor (Proverbs 5:7-11). Verse 12 marks the climactic moment of this descent, a desperate cry of regret from one who has experienced the full weight of their folly, serving as a stark warning to the reader about the inevitable outcome of rejecting wisdom.
  • Historical & Cultural Context: The book of Proverbs, deeply rooted in ancient Near Eastern wisdom traditions, often presents a father-to-son instructional framework. In ancient Israelite society, the family unit was the primary locus of education and moral formation. Parental instruction, particularly from the father, carried immense weight and was seen as a vital transmission of covenantal wisdom and societal norms. The "strange woman" or "adulteress" represented a significant threat to the social fabric, family integrity, and individual well-being. Her actions undermined the patriarchal order, threatened legitimate inheritance, and could lead to public shame and even death, as her "feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell" (Proverbs 5:5). The emphasis on "instruction" (mûwçâr) and "reproof" (tôwkêchâh) reflects a culture where discipline, correction, and the internalization of moral principles were paramount for a thriving community and a righteous life. The lament in Proverbs 5:12 thus speaks to a deeply ingrained cultural value placed on heeding wise counsel and avoiding paths that lead to societal and personal disgrace, highlighting the communal and individual consequences of moral failure.
  • Key Themes: This verse powerfully contributes to several overarching themes within Proverbs. Firstly, it underscores The Bitter Fruit of Disobedience, illustrating that the rejection of divine and parental instruction inevitably leads to profound regret and self-condemnation. The "saying" is a raw expression of the painful realization of one's own destructive choices, a direct consequence of straying from "the path of life" (Proverbs 5:6). Secondly, it highlights the theme of Active Rejection of Wisdom. The phrases "hated instruction" and "despised reproof" are not merely passive ignorance but denote a deliberate and intense aversion to truth, discipline, and correction. This active rejection is a hallmark of the "fool" in Proverbs, who disdains wisdom and instruction, as "fools despise wisdom and instruction" (Proverbs 1:7). Thirdly, by showcasing the dire consequences of ignoring correction, the verse implicitly emphasizes The Immense Value of Correction and Discipline. True wisdom embraces discipline as a pathway to life and blessing, not as a burden. The wise person welcomes correction, knowing it refines and guides them towards a flourishing life, as opposed to the destructive path described in Proverbs 5:23, where "he shall die without instruction; and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray."

EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS

Key Word Analysis

  • say (Hebrew, ʼâmar', H559): This primitive root is broadly used to mean "to say," but in this context, it introduces a declaration of profound regret and self-reproach. It signifies the articulation of a painful realization, a verbalization of internal anguish that has reached a breaking point, forcing the individual to acknowledge their past folly.
  • hated (Hebrew, sânêʼ', H8130): This primitive root signifies a strong, personal animosity or aversion. It's not a mild dislike but an intense, active rejection. In the context of Proverbs 5:12, it conveys a deliberate, deep-seated antagonism towards moral and spiritual guidance, indicating a willful opposition rather than mere negligence.
  • instruction (Hebrew, mûwçâr', H4148): Derived from a root meaning "to chasten," this term primarily refers to chastisement, discipline, or correction. Figuratively, it encompasses reproof, warning, and moral instruction. It often carries the connotation of parental discipline aimed at moral formation. The individual in the verse actively hated the very process designed to guide them towards righteousness and a flourishing life.
  • heart (Hebrew, lêb', H3820): In biblical anthropology, the "heart" is far more than just the emotional center; it is the seat of intellect, will, and emotion—the core of one's being. When the heart despises something, it signifies a profound, internal, and volitional rejection. This indicates that the individual's aversion to reproof was not superficial but originated from their deepest inner convictions and desires, a deliberate choice of the will.
  • despised (Hebrew, nâʼats', H5006): This primitive root means to scorn, contemn, or treat with contempt. It implies a profound lack of respect and a willful disregard. When the heart "despised" reproof, it indicates an active, internal disdain for corrective feedback, viewing it as worthless or beneath consideration, leading to a hardened posture against truth.
  • reproof (Hebrew, tôwkêchâh', H8433): This word denotes chastisement, correction, refutation, or proof. It refers to the act of rebuking or correcting someone, often with the intent of bringing them to a better understanding or a change of behavior. The individual's heart actively scorned this necessary and beneficial feedback, sealing their fate and leading to their current state of ruin.

Verse Breakdown

  • "And say,": This introductory phrase sets the stage for a future lament or confession. It indicates a moment of stark realization and articulation, where the bitter consequences of past choices become undeniable, forcing the individual to voice their deep regret. It's a poignant, retrospective acknowledgment of self-inflicted harm.
  • "How have I hated instruction,": This clause expresses profound self-reproach and astonishment at one's own past folly. The interrogative "How" conveys a sense of disbelief and overwhelming regret, as if the speaker cannot fathom the depth of their own past antagonism. The term "hated" (sânêʼ) emphasizes a strong, active, and deliberate rejection of moral discipline and teaching. The individual now recognizes that their downfall stemmed directly from their willful antagonism towards guidance intended for their good.
  • "and my heart despised reproof;": This parallel clause reinforces the previous sentiment, intensifying the sense of internal culpability. "My heart" (lêb) signifies that this rejection was not merely external or superficial but originated from the deepest core of their being—their intellect, will, and emotions. To "despise" (nâʼats) reproof (tôwkêchâh) means to scorn, contemn, or treat with contempt, highlighting a deliberate and profound disdain for corrective feedback, which was designed for their benefit and protection.

Literary Devices

Proverbs 5:12 employs several potent literary devices to convey its message with emotional force and intellectual clarity. Parallelism is prominently featured in the two clauses: "How have I hated instruction" and "and my heart despised reproof." This synonymous parallelism reinforces the central idea of rejecting wisdom, using slightly different but complementary terms ("instruction" and "reproof") and verbs ("hated" and "despised") to deepen the impact and underscore the comprehensive nature of the rejection. The use of "hated" and "despised" also demonstrates intensification, moving from a strong emotion to a profound, internal scorn, highlighting the depth of the individual's antagonism towards truth. The lament itself is a form of retrospective irony, where the speaker, having once scorned wisdom, now ironically laments their own folly, a stark contrast to their former attitude. The personification of "instruction" and "reproof" as entities that can be "hated" and "despised" gives them an active role, emphasizing the deliberate nature of the individual's rejection. Finally, the rhetorical question implied by "How have I..." conveys a sense of hyperbole and deep anguish, expressing an overwhelming regret that words can barely contain, making the reader feel the weight of the speaker's sorrow.

THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS

This verse powerfully articulates the tragic outcome of a life lived in defiance of God's wisdom, a theme central to the book of Proverbs. It underscores the theological principle that rejecting divine instruction and correction is not a neutral act but an active rebellion that leads to self-inflicted suffering and spiritual decay. The "heart" despising reproof signifies a deep-seated spiritual condition, where the very core of one's being is set against the truth and discipline necessary for flourishing. This lament serves as a severe warning, highlighting that true wisdom involves humility and a teachable spirit, recognizing that God's ways, even when corrective, are always for our ultimate good. The pain expressed in this verse is a stark reminder of the intrinsic connection between obedience to God's wisdom and human flourishing, and conversely, the inevitable sorrow that accompanies persistent rebellion, demonstrating that the path of the wicked is indeed hard.

  • Proverbs 1:29-31: "For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the LORD: They would none of my counsel: they despised all my reproof. Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices."
  • Proverbs 15:10: "Correction is grievous unto him that forsaketh the way: and he that hateth reproof shall die."
  • Psalm 119:104: "Through thy precepts I get understanding: therefore I hate every false way."

REFLECTION AND APPLICATION

Proverbs 5:12 serves as a timeless mirror, inviting us to critically examine our own posture towards instruction and correction. In a world that often prizes autonomy and self-sufficiency, the wisdom of Proverbs reminds us that true freedom and flourishing come through humble submission to truth, especially divine truth. Do we, like the one lamenting in this verse, harbor a secret disdain for guidance, particularly when it challenges our comfortable habits or cherished sins? Or do we cultivate a teachable spirit, recognizing that God's Word, godly counsel, and even the painful consequences of our actions are all instruments of His loving discipline designed to refine us? This verse calls us to embrace correction not as an affront, but as a pathway to life, to actively seek out wisdom, and to cultivate a heart that welcomes reproof as a gift, thereby avoiding the profound and bitter regrets of a life lived in defiance of truth. It prompts us to consider whether our current choices are sowing seeds of future sorrow or future peace.

Questions for Reflection

  • In what specific areas of my life do I tend to resist instruction or reproof, and what underlying fears or desires might be driving that resistance?
  • How can I actively cultivate a more humble and teachable heart, especially when confronted with uncomfortable truths or challenging feedback?
  • What are the potential long-term consequences, both personal and relational, of consistently ignoring wise counsel and divine principles in my life?
  • How does my attitude towards correction reflect my deeper trust (or lack thereof) in God's wisdom, His loving guidance, and His ultimate plan for my flourishing?

FAQ

What does "hated instruction" and "despised reproof" mean in a practical sense?

Answer: In a practical sense, "hated instruction" and "despised reproof" refer to a deliberate and active resistance to guidance, teaching, and correction. It's not merely being ignorant or making a mistake, but rather having an internal aversion or contempt for the very things that are meant to lead one to wisdom and a good life. This could manifest as refusing to listen to parental advice, ignoring warnings from trusted friends, dismissing biblical principles that challenge one's lifestyle, or becoming defensive when confronted with one's faults. The individual in Proverbs 5:12 didn't just passively miss out on instruction; their heart actively scorned it, leading to their eventual downfall and profound regret. It speaks to a willful rejection of truth.

Is this verse only about sexual sin, or does it have broader application?

Answer: While Proverbs 5 specifically warns against sexual immorality, the lament in Proverbs 5:12 has a much broader application. The principles of "hating instruction" and "despising reproof" are universal causes of regret and ruin in any area of life where wisdom is rejected. Whether it's financial mismanagement, relational conflict, professional failure, or spiritual stagnation, the refusal to heed wise counsel and accept correction will inevitably lead to negative consequences. The specific context of sexual sin serves as a powerful, vivid illustration of a universal truth: ignoring wisdom, in any domain, leads to sorrow, loss, and self-reproach. The human heart's tendency to resist truth is a pervasive issue.

CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT

Proverbs 5:12, with its bitter lament of rejected wisdom, finds its ultimate and profound fulfillment in the person and work of Jesus Christ. The one who "hated instruction" and whose "heart despised reproof" stands in stark contrast to the perfect obedience and wisdom embodied by Christ. Jesus, as the very Wisdom of God incarnate, came offering the ultimate instruction and reproof, calling humanity to repentance and life. Yet, tragically, He was "despised and rejected by men" (Isaiah 53:3), echoing the very sentiment of the lament in Proverbs. The world, in its fallen state, often hates the instruction of God and despises the reproof that comes through His Word, culminating in the rejection and crucifixion of the Son of God. However, the profound irony and grace of the Gospel is that Christ, who never hated instruction or despised reproof, bore the consequences of our hatred and disdain for God's wisdom. His suffering on the cross was for those whose hearts were set against God's ways, offering forgiveness and a new heart that delights in instruction, as promised by God: "A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you" (Ezekiel 36:26). Thus, the lament of Proverbs 5:12 points us to the One who suffered for our foolishness, enabling us to now embrace wisdom and find true life in Him, the source of all instruction and the ultimate fulfillment of divine wisdom, "in whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge" (Colossians 2:3).

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Commentary on Proverbs 5 verses 1–14

I. II. Main points1. 2. Sub-points(1.) (2.) Details

Here we have,

I. A solemn preface, to introduce the caution which follows, Pro 5:1, Pro 5:2. Solomon here addresses himself to his son, that is, to all young men, as unto his children, whom he has an affection for and some influence upon. In God's name, he demands attention; for he writes by divine inspiration, and is a prophet, though he begins not with, Thus saith the Lord. "Attend, and bow thy ear; not only hear what is said, and read what is written, but apply thy mind to it and consider it diligently." To gain attention he urges, 1. The excellency of his discourse: "It is my wisdom, my understanding; if I undertake to teach thee wisdom I cannot prescribe any thing to be more properly called so; moral philosophy is my philosophy, and that which is to be learned in my school." 2. The usefulness of it: "Attend to what I say," (1.) "That thou mayest act wisely - that thou mayest regard discretion." Solomon's lectures are not designed to fill our heads with notions, with matters of nice speculation, or doubtful disputation, but to guide us in the government of ourselves, that we may act prudently, so as becomes us and so as will be for our true interest. (2.) "That thou mayest speak wisely - that thy lips may keep knowledge, and thou mayest have it ready at thy tongue's end" (as we say), "for the benefit of those with whom thou dost converse." The priest's lips are said to keep knowledge (Mal 2:7); but those that are ready and mighty in the scriptures may not only in their devotions, but in their discourses, be spiritual priests.

II. The caution itself, and that is to abstain from fleshly lusts, from adultery, fornication, and all uncleanness. Some apply this figuratively, and by the adulterous woman here understand idolatry, or false doctrine, which tends to debauch men's minds and manners, or the sensual appetite, to which it may as fitly as any thing be applied; but the primary scope of it is plainly to warn us against seventh-commandment sins, which youth is so prone to, the temptations to which are so violent, the examples of which are so many, and which, where admitted, are so destructive to all the seeds of virtue in the soul that it is not strange that Solomon's cautions against it are so very pressing and so often repeated. Solomon here, as a faithful watchman, gives fair warning to all, as they regard their lives and comforts, to dread this sin, for it will certainly be their ruin. Two things we are here warned to take heed of: -

1.That we do not listen to the charms of this sin. It is true the lips of a strange woman drop as a honey-comb (Pro 5:3); the pleasures of fleshly lust are very tempting (like the wine that gives its colour in the cup and moves itself aright); its mouth, the kisses of its mouth, the words of its mouth, are smoother than oil, that the poisonous pill may go down glibly and there may be no suspicion of harm in it. But consider, (1.) How fatal the consequences will be. What fruit will the sinner have of his honey and oil when the end will be, [1.] The terrors of conscience: It is bitter as wormwood, Pro 5:4. What was luscious in the mouth rises in the stomach and turns sour there; it cuts, in the reflection, like a two-edged sword; take it which way you will, it wounds. Solomon could speak by experience, Ecc 7:26. [2.] The torments of hell. If some that have been guilty of this sin have repented and been saved, yet the direct tendency of the sin is to destruction of body and soul; the feet of it go down to death, nay, they take hold on hell, to pull it to the sinner, as if the damnations slumbered too long, Pro 5:5. Those that are entangled in this sin should be reminded that there is but a step between them and hell, and that they are ready to drop into it. (2.) Consider how false the charms are. The adulteress flatters and speaks fair, her words are honey and oil, but she will deceive those that hearken to her: Her ways are movable, that thou canst not know them; she often changes her disguise, and puts on a great variety of false colours, because, if she be rightly known, she is certainly hated. Proteus-like, she puts on many shapes, that she may keep in with those whom she has a design upon. And what does she aim at with all this art and management? Nothing but to keep them from pondering the path of life, for she knows that, if they once come to do that, she shall certainly lose them. Those are ignorant of Satan's devices who do not understand that the great thing he drives at in all his temptations is, [1.] To keep them from choosing the path of life, to prevent them from being religious and from going to heaven, that, being himself shut out from happiness, he may keep them out from it. [2.] In order hereunto, to keep them from pondering the path of life, from considering how reasonable it is that they should walk in that path, and how much it will be for their advantage. Be it observed, to the honour of religion, that it certainly gains its point with all those that will but allow themselves the liberty of a serious thought and will weigh things impartially in an even balance, and that the devil has no way of securing men in his interests but by diverting them with continual amusements of one kind or another from the calm and sober consideration of the things that belong to their peace. And uncleanness is a sin that does as much as any thing blind the understanding, sear the conscience, and keep people from pondering the path of life. Whoredom takes away the heart, Hos 4:11.

2.That we do not approach the borders of this sin, Pro 5:7, Pro 5:8.

(1.)This caution is introduced with a solemn preface: "Hear me now therefore, O you children! whoever you are that read or hear these lines, take notice of what I say, and mix faith with it, treasure it up, and depart not from the words of my mouth, as those will do that hearken to the words of the strange woman. Do not only receive what I say, for the present merely, but cleave to it, and let it be ready to thee, and of force with thee, when thou art most violently assaulted by the temptation."

(2.)The caution itself is very pressing: "Remove thy way far from her; if thy way should happen to lie near her, and thou shouldst have a fair pretence of being led by business within the reach of her charms, yet change thy way, and alter the course of it, rather than expose thyself to danger; come not nigh the door of her house; go on the other side of the street, nay, go through some other street, though it be about." This intimates, [1.] That we ought to have a very great dread and detestation of the sin. We must fear it as we would a place infected with the plague; we must loathe it as the odour of carrion, that we will not come near. Then we are likely to preserve our purity when we conceive a rooted antipathy to all fleshly lusts. [2.] That we ought industriously to avoid every thing that may be an occasion of this sin or a step towards it. Those that would be kept from harm must keep out of harm's way. Such tinder there is in the corrupt nature that it is madness, upon any pretence whatsoever, to come near the sparks. If we thrust ourselves into temptation, we mocked God when we prayed, Lead us not into temptation. [3.] That we ought to be jealous over ourselves with a godly jealousy, and not to be so confident of the strength of our own resolutions as to venture upon the brink of sin, with a promise to ourselves that hitherto we will come and no further. [4.] That whatever has become a snare to us and an occasion of sin, though it be as a right eye and a right hand, we must pluck it out, cut it off, and cast it from us, must part with that which is dearest to us rather than hazard our own souls; this is our Saviour's command, Mat 5:28-30.

(3.)The arguments which Solomon here uses to enforce this caution are taken from the same topic with those before, the many mischiefs which attend this sin. [1.] It blasts the reputation. "Thou wilt give thy honour unto others (Pro 5:9); thou wilt lose it thyself; thou wilt put into the hand of each of thy neighbours a stone to throw at thee, for they will all, with good reason, cry shame on thee, will despise thee, and trample on thee, as a foolish men." Whoredom is a sin that makes men contemptible and base, and no man of sense or virtue will care to keep company with one that keeps company with harlots. [2.] It wastes the time, gives the years, the years of youth, the flower of men's time, unto the cruel, "that base lust of thine, which with the utmost cruelty wars against the soul, that base harlot which pretends an affection for thee, but really hunts for the precious life." Those years that should be given to the honour of a gracious God are spent in the service of a cruel sin. [3.] It ruins the estate (Pro 5:10): "Strangers will be filled with thy wealth, which thou art but entrusted with as a steward for thy family; and the fruit of thy labours, which should be provision for thy own house, will be in the house of a stranger, that neither has right to it nor will ever thank thee for it." [4.] It is destructive to the health, and shortens men's days: Thy flesh and thy body will be consumed by it, Pro 5:11. The lusts of uncleanness not only war against the soul, which the sinner neglects and is in no care about, but they war against the body too, which he is so indulgent of and is in such care to please and pamper, such deceitful, such foolish, such hurtful lusts are they. Those that give themselves to work uncleanness with greediness waste their strength, throw themselves into weakness, and often have their bodies filled with loathsome distempers, by which the number of their months is cut off in the midst and they fall unpitied sacrifices to a cruel lust. [5.] It will fill the mind with horror, if ever conscience be awakened. "Though thou art merry now, sporting thyself in thy own deceivings, yet thou wilt certainly mourn at the last, Pro 5:11. Thou art all this while making work for repentance, and laying up matter for vexation and torment in the reflection, when the sin is set before thee in its own colours." Sooner or later it will bring sorrow, either when the soul is humbled and brought to repentance or when the flesh and body are consumed, either by sickness, when conscience flies in the sinner's face, or by the grave; when the body is rotting there, the soul is racking in the torments of hell, where the worm dies not, and "Son, remember," is the constant peal [plea?]. Solomon here brings in the convinced sinner reproaching himself, and aggravating his own folly. He will then most bitterly lament it. First, That because he hated to be reformed he therefore hated to be informed, and could not endure either to be taught his duty (How have I hated not only the discipline of being instructed, but the instruction itself, though all true and good!) or to be told of his faults - My heart despised reproof, Pro 5:12. He cannot but own that those who had the charge of him, parents, ministers, had done their part; they had been his teachers; they had instructed him, had given him good counsel and fair warning (Pro 5:13); but to his own shame and confusion does he speak it, and therein justifies God in all the miseries that were brought upon him, he had not obeyed their voice, for indeed he never inclined his ear to those that instructed him, never minded what they said nor admitted the impressions of it. Note, Those who have had a good education and do not live up to it will have a great deal to answer for another day; and those who will not now remember what they were taught, to conform themselves to it, will be made to remember it as an aggravation of their sin, and consequently of their ruin. Secondly, That by the frequent acts of sin the habits of it were so rooted and confirmed that his heart was fully set in him to commit it (Pro 5:14): I was almost in all evil in the midst of the congregation and assembly. When he came into the synagogue, or into the courts of the temple, to worship God with other Israelites, his unclean heart was full of wanton thoughts and desires and his eyes of adultery. Reverence of the place and company, and of the work that was doing, could not restrain him, but he was almost as wicked and vile there as any where. No sin will appear more frightful to an awakened conscience than the profanation of holy things; nor will any aggravation of sin render it more exceedingly sinful than the place we are honoured with in the congregation and assembly, and the advantages we enjoy thereby. Zimri and Cozbi avowed their villany in the sight of Moses and all the congregation (Num 25:6), and heart-adultery is as open to God, and must needs be most offensive to him, when we draw nigh to him in religious exercises. I was in all evil in defiance of the magistrates and judges, and their assemblies; so some understand it. Others refer it to the evil of punishment, not to the evil of sin: "I was made an example, a spectacle to the world. I was under almost all God's sore judgments in the midst of the congregation of Israel, set up for a mark. I stood up and cried in the congregation," Job 30:28. Let that be avoided which will be thus rued at last.

Matthew Henry (1662–1714) — Commentary on the Whole Bible. This section covers verses 1–14. Public domain.
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BedeAD 735
Commentary on Proverbs
Why did I hate instruction? etc. He calls the instruction of ecclesiastical faith; the reproaches by which heretics are rebuked, why they withdrew from the Church, he refers to them. It is evident concerning fornicators.
Source: Quotations drawn from early Church Fathers and historical Christian theologians (AD 100–1500). Some quotes address the surrounding passage context rather than this verse alone.
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