Proverbs 25:17

¶ Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour's house; lest he be weary of thee, and [so] hate thee.

Withdraw {H3365} thy foot {H7272} from thy neighbour's {H7453} house {H1004}; lest he be weary {H7646} of thee, and so hate {H8130} thee.

so don't visit your neighbor too much, or he may get his fill of you and come to hate you.

Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house, lest he grow weary and hate you.

Let thy foot be seldom in thy neighbor’s house, Lest he be weary of thee, and hate thee.

Commentary

Proverbs 25:17 offers a concise yet profound piece of wisdom regarding social conduct and the maintenance of healthy relationships. It cautions against overstaying one's welcome, highlighting the negative consequences of a lack of discretion in visiting others.

Context

This verse is found within a collection of "Proverbs of Solomon, which the men of Hezekiah king of Judah copied out" (Proverbs 25:1). This section of Proverbs often deals with practical wisdom for daily living, including social etiquette, leadership, and personal character. In ancient Israelite society, hospitality was highly valued, but even good things require balance and wisdom. The proverb speaks to the importance of understanding social cues and respecting personal space, a concept as relevant then as it is today.

Key Themes

  • Prudence in Relationships: The core message emphasizes the need for prudence and self-control in social interactions. It teaches that even good intentions can lead to negative outcomes if not tempered with wisdom. A wise person knows when to arrive and, more importantly, when to depart.
  • Respect for Boundaries: The phrase "Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour's house" is a vivid metaphor for respecting the unspoken boundaries of hospitality and personal space. Overstepping these boundaries can erode goodwill and lead to discomfort for the host. This concept is vital for fostering harmonious neighborly relations.
  • The Peril of Overfamiliarity: The proverb warns that excessive presence can lead to a host becoming "weary" and eventually developing "hate." This progression illustrates how even strong bonds can be strained and broken by a lack of discretion. It's a reminder that absence can indeed make the heart grow fonder, or at least prevent it from growing weary.

Linguistic Insights

The Hebrew word translated "weary" is yaqut (יָקוּט), which means to be disgusted, loathsome, or tired of. It implies a deep weariness that borders on aversion. The consequence, "hate" (sane, שָׂנֵא), signifies a strong dislike or animosity. This progression from mere weariness to active hatred underscores the serious social consequences of disregarding the principle of appropriate social distance.

Practical Application

This timeless wisdom remains highly applicable in modern life, extending beyond physical visits:

  • Personal Visits: Be mindful of the duration and frequency of your visits to friends and family. Observe cues from your host regarding their schedule, energy levels, and privacy.
  • Digital Interactions: In the age of constant communication, this proverb also applies to digital "visits." Avoid excessive texting, calling, or messaging that might overwhelm others. Respect their online boundaries and communication preferences.
  • Professional Settings: In workplaces, respect colleagues' personal space and time. Avoid unnecessary interruptions or excessive lingering that might hinder their productivity or comfort.
  • Maintaining Friendships: Good friendships require balance. While fellowship is important, a healthy relationship also allows for individual space and autonomy. Learning this balance is key to long-lasting friendships.

Reflection

Proverbs 25:17 serves as a valuable reminder that wisdom in social interactions is not just about what to do, but also about what not to do. By exercising discretion and respecting the boundaries of others, we cultivate goodwill, strengthen relationships, and prevent weariness from turning into animosity. It's a simple yet profound lesson in the art of healthy human connection.

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Cross-References

  • Genesis 19:2

    And he said, Behold now, my lords, turn in, I pray you, into your servant's house, and tarry all night, and wash your feet, and ye shall rise up early, and go on your ways. And they said, Nay; but we will abide in the street all night.

  • Genesis 19:3

    And he pressed upon them greatly; and they turned in unto him, and entered into his house; and he made them a feast, and did bake unleavened bread, and they did eat.

  • Judges 19:18

    And he said unto him, We [are] passing from Bethlehemjudah toward the side of mount Ephraim; from thence [am] I: and I went to Bethlehemjudah, but I [am now] going to the house of the LORD; and there [is] no man that receiveth me to house.

  • Judges 19:21

    So he brought him into his house, and gave provender unto the asses: and they washed their feet, and did eat and drink.

  • Romans 15:24

    Whensoever I take my journey into Spain, I will come to you: for I trust to see you in my journey, and to be brought on my way thitherward by you, if first I be somewhat filled with your [company].
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