Proverbs 25:17

KJV

¶ Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour's house; lest he be weary of thee, and [so] hate thee.

KJV (with Strong's)

Withdraw {H3365} thy foot {H7272} from thy neighbour's {H7453} house {H1004}; lest he be weary {H7646} of thee, and so hate {H8130} thee.

Complete Jewish Bible

so don't visit your neighbor too much, or he may get his fill of you and come to hate you.

Berean Standard Bible

Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house, lest he grow weary and hate you.

American Standard Version

Let thy foot be seldom in thy neighbor’s house, Lest he be weary of thee, and hate thee.

Commentary

### SUMMARY
Proverbs 25:17 offers timeless wisdom on the delicate art of maintaining healthy social relationships, particularly concerning the boundaries of hospitality and personal presence. It sagely advises against excessive familiarity and overstaying one's welcome in a neighbor's home, warning that such indiscretion can lead to the host becoming weary and eventually developing animosity. This proverb profoundly underscores the critical importance of discretion, respect, and self-awareness in fostering harmonious interactions and preserving the invaluable goodwill within a community.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** This proverb is situated within the collection known as "Proverbs of Solomon, which the men of Hezekiah king of Judah copied out" (Proverbs 25:1). This specific section, encompassing chapters 25-29, frequently provides practical wisdom for daily living, addressing aspects of social etiquette, leadership, and personal character. Unlike the more thematic or extended discourses found in earlier chapters, these proverbs are often individual, pithy sayings designed to offer concise guidance on specific situations. [Proverbs 25:17](/proverbs/25-17 "Proverbs 25:17 - Wisdom on Social Conduct") seamlessly integrates into this framework of practical wisdom, directly addressing the nuances of social conduct and the preservation of healthy relationships, a recurring emphasis throughout the book. For instance, the book consistently warns against strife and folly, as seen in the various admonitions throughout [Proverbs 26](/proverbs/26 "Proverbs 26 - Folly and Sloth").
* **Historical & Cultural Context:** In ancient Israelite society, hospitality was not merely a courtesy but a deeply ingrained cultural and religious obligation. Welcoming strangers and neighbors was considered a sacred duty, reflecting God's own gracious hospitality towards His people, as exemplified in the covenant relationship. However, even within this robust culture of open doors, there were unspoken rules of decorum and reciprocity. A "house" (Hebrew: `bayith`) was a private space, a sanctuary for the family, and its resources were often limited. Overstaying one's welcome could easily be perceived as an imposition, a violation of the host's privacy, and an undue drain on their provisions. This proverb highlights that while hospitality was highly valued, true wisdom dictated that guests should not exploit it, thereby illustrating the importance of mutual respect in a communal society where relationships were paramount. This principle resonates with the broader biblical call to love one's neighbor and treat others with consideration, as instructed in [Deuteronomy 10:19](/deuteronomy/10-19 "Deuteronomy 10:19 - Love the Sojourner").
* **Key Themes:** The wisdom encapsulated in [Proverbs 25:17](/proverbs/25-17 "Proverbs 25:17 - Wisdom on Social Conduct") contributes to several significant themes prevalent in the book of Proverbs. Firstly, it underscores the vital importance of **Prudence and Discretion** in social interactions. A truly wise individual understands the subtle cues of social dynamics and exercises self-control, knowing precisely when to engage and, crucially, when to withdraw. This aligns with the broader biblical call for wisdom that is meant to guide all aspects of life, as powerfully articulated in [Proverbs 4:7](/proverbs/4-7 "Proverbs 4:7 - Wisdom is the Principal Thing"). Secondly, the proverb speaks to the absolute necessity of **Respect for Boundaries**. The vivid metaphor of "withdrawing one's foot" powerfully illustrates the need to honor the personal space, resources, and emotional capacity of others, thereby preventing the erosion of goodwill. Finally, the proverb serves as a stark warning against the **Peril of Overfamiliarity**. It meticulously outlines a progression from initial weariness to outright hatred, demonstrating how even the most positive relationships can be strained and ultimately broken by a persistent lack of discernment and consideration. This theme is also explored in other proverbs, such as [Proverbs 18:24](/proverbs/18-24 "Proverbs 18:24 - A Friend Who Sticks Closer Than a Brother"), which speaks to the nature of true friendship.

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS
#### Key Word Analysis
* **Withdraw (Hebrew, _yâqar'_):** From H3365, this word primarily means "to be heavy" or "valuable," but in its causative form, as used here, it means "to make rare" or "to inhibit." The command to "withdraw" implies making one's presence less frequent or less burdensome, treating one's visits as something precious and not to be devalued by overuse. It's about regulating one's presence to maintain its inherent value and avoid becoming a burden.
* **Weary (Hebrew, _sâbaʻ'_):** From H7646, this term signifies being "filled to satisfaction" or "satiated." However, in this context, it carries the negative connotation of being "over-satiated" or "fed up." The host becomes "weary" because they have had more than enough of the guest's presence, leading to a feeling of being burdened, annoyed, or drained, rather than refreshed or edified.
* **Hate (Hebrew, _sânêʼ'_):** From H8130, this word denotes a strong, personal animosity or aversion. The progression from "weary" to "hate" is profoundly significant, indicating that persistent disregard for social boundaries can transform mere annoyance into deep-seated dislike, ultimately damaging the relationship irrevocably and severely.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour's house;":** This clause presents a vivid, metaphorical imperative. "Withdraw thy foot" (Hebrew: `regel`, H7272, meaning "foot" or "step") functions as a synecdoche, where the part (foot/step) represents the whole (the person's presence or visits). It commands a deliberate and conscious effort to limit the frequency and duration of one's visits to a neighbor's dwelling. This implies respecting the neighbor's privacy, resources (H1004, `bayith`, "house"), and time, recognizing that even good things, like fellowship, can become burdensome if not exercised with proper discretion.
* **"lest he be weary of thee,":** This clause introduces the immediate and undesirable consequence of failing to withdraw. The host, initially welcoming, becomes "weary" (Hebrew: `sâbaʻ`, H7646) or "satiated" with the guest's presence. This weariness is not necessarily malicious but stems from an overwhelming or inconvenient presence, leading to a sense of being imposed upon or drained. It suggests a loss of the initial joy or comfort associated with the guest's company, particularly from the perspective of the "neighbor" (H7453, `rêaʻ`).
* **"and [so] hate thee.":** This is the ultimate and most severe consequence. The weariness, if unaddressed and allowed to fester, escalates into active "hate" (Hebrew: `sânêʼ`, H8130). This signifies a complete breakdown of goodwill and the development of strong animosity. The proverb illustrates a clear cause-and-effect relationship: a lack of discretion leads to weariness, which in turn can transform into genuine dislike, irrevocably damaging the neighborly relationship.

#### Literary Devices
Proverbs 25:17 masterfully employs several effective **Literary Devices** to convey its profound message. The most prominent is **Metaphor** and **Synecdoche**, where the phrase "withdraw thy foot" serves as a vivid representation for limiting one's visits or overall presence. This concrete imagery makes the abstract concept of overstaying one's welcome tangible and easily comprehensible. The proverb also effectively uses **Cause and Effect** to illustrate the predictable progression of a relationship's decline: a lack of discretion (the cause) inevitably leads to weariness, which then escalates to outright hatred (the effects). This clear, logical progression serves as a powerful and sobering warning. Furthermore, there is an element of **Hyperbole** in the final consequence, "hate thee," which emphasizes the potential severity of the outcome and underscores the critical importance of the wisdom being imparted. While a host might not develop literal, intense hatred, the strong word choice highlights the profound and potentially irreparable damage to the relationship.

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
This proverb, while seemingly focused on practical social etiquette, delves into deeper theological principles concerning love for one's neighbor, the exercise of wisdom in conduct, and the preservation of communal harmony. It profoundly reflects the biblical emphasis on living wisely and discerningly, understanding that true love and respect for others involve honoring their boundaries and not imposing oneself. This principle extends far beyond mere physical presence to encompass all forms of interaction, urging believers to be consistently considerate and self-aware in their relationships. In doing so, they reflect the very character of God, who is orderly, respectful, and never imposes His presence where it is not welcomed. Ultimately, [Proverbs 25:17](/proverbs/25-17 "Proverbs 25:17 - Wisdom on Social Conduct") teaches that healthy, flourishing relationships are built upon mutual respect, thoughtful consideration, and a wise understanding of appropriate engagement, preventing the very bonds of community from fraying and breaking.

* [Romans 12:18](/romans/12-18 "Romans 12:18 - Live Peaceably with All")
* [Philippians 2:4](/philippians/2-4 "Philippians 2:4 - Look Out for Others' Interests")
* [Proverbs 17:17](/proverbs/17-17 "Proverbs 17:17 - A Friend Loves at All Times")

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Proverbs 25:17, though rooted in ancient wisdom, resonates with profound relevance in contemporary life, extending its application far beyond literal visits to a neighbor's house. It serves as a timeless and essential reminder that true wisdom in relationships involves not only what we actively do, but also, crucially, what we wisely refrain from doing. In our modern age of constant connectivity and pervasive digital presence, the "neighbor's house" can metaphorically represent not only physical spaces but also digital domains, personal time, and emotional bandwidth. Over-communicating, failing to respect personal boundaries in online interactions, or constantly seeking attention and validation can lead to the very same weariness and potential animosity described in this ancient proverb. Genuine friendship and healthy relationships thrive on a delicate balance of presence and absence, engagement and respectful distance. Discretion, thoughtfulness, and an acute awareness of others' needs, limits, and preferences are absolutely crucial for cultivating lasting bonds and preventing the subtle, yet damaging, erosion of goodwill that can lead to resentment and alienation. This proverb challenges us to be mindful stewards of our relationships, valuing quality over quantity in all our interactions and ensuring our presence is always a blessing, never a burden.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **In what areas of your life (physical, digital, emotional, relational) might you currently be "overstaying your welcome" with others?**
* **How can you cultivate a greater sensitivity to discern the unspoken cues from friends, family, or colleagues that indicate a need for space or a shift in interaction?**
* **What practical and intentional steps can you take to apply the principle of "withdrawing your foot" to ensure your presence is consistently valued and never perceived as an imposition?**
* **How does the discipline of respecting others' boundaries contribute to your own spiritual growth, fostering humility, self-control, and genuine love for your neighbor?**

### FAQ
**Does this proverb suggest that hospitality is a bad thing, or that we should avoid visiting friends?**

Answer: Not at all. The proverb does not discourage hospitality or friendly visits; rather, it provides profound wisdom on how to engage in them prudently and effectively. Hospitality was, and remains, a cherished and vital value in many cultures, including the biblical ones. The core point of [Proverbs 25:17](/proverbs/25-17 "Proverbs 25:17 - Wisdom on Social Conduct") is to caution against the *excess* of a good thing. Just as an overabundance of food can lead to sickness, an overwhelming or constant presence can become burdensome. The wisdom lies in discernment – knowing precisely when to visit, for how long, and when to respectfully depart, thereby ensuring that your presence remains a blessing and never an imposition. It is ultimately about maintaining balance, mutual respect, and thoughtful consideration in all relationships.

**How does this proverb apply to modern digital communication, such as social media or texting?**

Answer: The principle of "withdrawing your foot" is remarkably and profoundly relevant to modern digital interactions. In the digital "house" of someone's inbox, social media feed, or direct messages, it is remarkably easy to overstay one's welcome by excessive texting, constant calling, frequent tagging, or incessant messaging. Constantly bombarding someone with notifications or demanding immediate responses can quickly lead to digital "weariness" and even "hate" (or at least significant annoyance and the eventual muting or blocking of communication). This proverb powerfully encourages us to be mindful of others' digital boundaries, their communication preferences, and their inherent need for personal space and quiet, even within the online realm. It serves as a timely call for digital etiquette rooted in ancient, enduring wisdom, promoting respectful, considerate, and truly beneficial online engagement, echoing the biblical call to be [slow to speak and quick to listen](/james/1-19 "James 1:19 - Be Quick to Listen, Slow to Speak").

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
While Proverbs 25:17 offers practical wisdom for discerning social conduct, its underlying principles find profound and ultimate fulfillment in the person and ministry of Jesus Christ. Jesus perfectly embodied the divine balance of presence and withdrawal, consistently demonstrating unparalleled wisdom in all His interactions. He was intimately present with His disciples, sharing life, breaking bread, and teaching profound truths, yet He also frequently withdrew to solitary places for prayer and communion with His Father, as beautifully illustrated in [Mark 1:35](/mark/1-35 "Mark 1:35 - Jesus Prays in a Solitary Place"). He never imposed Himself on others but graciously invited them to follow, always respecting their freedom of choice, as seen in His interaction with the rich young ruler in [Matthew 19:21-22](/matthew/19-21-22 "Matthew 19:21-22 - The Rich Young Ruler"). His ultimate act of "withdrawal" was His ascension to the Father, a temporary physical absence that paradoxically paved the way for the enduring, omnipresent indwelling of the Holy Spirit. This divine "withdrawal" fulfilled His promise to be with us always, even to the very end of the age, as recorded in [Matthew 28:20](/matthew/28-20 "Matthew 28:20 - The Great Commission"). Thus, Christ teaches us not only the wisdom of discerning presence but also the profound theological truth that His "absence" from physical sight was, in fact, for our greater spiritual good, allowing for a deeper, more intimate spiritual communion that transcends all physical limitations, as He Himself declared in [John 16:7](/john/16-7 "John 16:7 - The Advantage of Jesus' Departure").

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.

Cross-References

Genesis 19:2

And he said, Behold now, my lords, turn in, I pray you, into your servant's house, and tarry all night, and wash your feet, and ye shall rise up early, and go on your ways. And they said, Nay; but we will abide in the street all night.

Genesis 19:3

And he pressed upon them greatly; and they turned in unto him, and entered into his house; and he made them a feast, and did bake unleavened bread, and they did eat.

Judges 19:18

And he said unto him, We [are] passing from Bethlehemjudah toward the side of mount Ephraim; from thence [am] I: and I went to Bethlehemjudah, but I [am now] going to the house of the LORD; and there [is] no man that receiveth me to house.

Judges 19:21

So he brought him into his house, and gave provender unto the asses: and they washed their feet, and did eat and drink.

Romans 15:24

Whensoever I take my journey into Spain, I will come to you: for I trust to see you in my journey, and to be brought on my way thitherward by you, if first I be somewhat filled with your [company].