Esther 5:10

KJV

Nevertheless Haman refrained himself: and when he came home, he sent and called for his friends, and Zeresh his wife.

KJV (with Strong's)

Nevertheless Haman {H2001} refrained {H662} himself: and when he came {H935} home {H1004}, he sent {H7971} and called {H935} for his friends {H157}, and Zeresh {H2238} his wife {H802}.

Complete Jewish Bible

Nevertheless, Haman restrained himself and went home, where he summoned and brought his friends and Zeresh his wife.

Berean Standard Bible

Nevertheless, Haman restrained himself and went home. And calling for his friends and his wife Zeresh,

American Standard Version

Nevertheless Haman refrained himself, and went home; and he sent and fetched his friends and Zeresh his wife.

Commentary

### SUMMARY
Haman, despite receiving unprecedented honor from King Ahasuerus and Queen Esther, found his elation utterly eclipsed by the sight of Mordecai, who refused to bow. This verse captures Haman's intense internal struggle to suppress his immediate rage in public, choosing instead to retreat to his private sphere. Upon arriving home, his first action was to summon his closest confidantes—his friends and his wife, Zeresh—signaling his urgent need to vent his festering indignation, boast about his perceived status, and solicit validation for his deepening, destructive obsession with Mordecai.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** Esther 5:10 immediately follows the dramatic shift in Haman's emotional state described in [Esther 5:9](/esther/5-9 "Esther 5:9 - Haman's Pride and Anger"). Having just departed Queen Esther's exclusive banquet, filled with self-congratulatory pride over his unique favor with the queen and king, Haman's joy abruptly turned to bitter rage upon encountering Mordecai at the king's gate. Mordecai's consistent refusal to bow or pay homage to Haman, first mentioned in [Esther 3:2](/esther/3-2 "Esther 3:2 - Mordecai's Defiance"), served as a constant affront to Haman's inflated ego. This verse sets the stage for the pivotal conversation in [Esther 5:14](/esther/5-14 "Esther 5:14 - Zeresh and Friends Counsel Haman"), where Haman's inner circle will counsel him on a specific, vengeful course of action against Mordecai, escalating the conflict dramatically.
* **Historical & Cultural Context:** The setting is the Persian Empire during the reign of Ahasuerus (Xerxes I), a period characterized by a vast, centralized bureaucracy and strict social hierarchies. Haman, as the king's chief vizier, held immense power and expected absolute deference, a cultural norm in ancient Near Eastern courts. His status was unparalleled, and public displays of respect were crucial for maintaining authority. Mordecai's refusal to bow, likely rooted in his Jewish identity and perhaps a refusal to offer prostration due to religious convictions (as some Jews would not bow to any but God), was not merely a personal slight but a public challenge to Haman's authority and the established social order. Haman's immediate retreat home to his private circle for counsel was a common practice for powerful individuals seeking to manage public image while privately strategizing.
* **Key Themes:** This verse powerfully underscores the **destructive nature of pride** and its capacity to poison even the greatest successes. Haman's inability to savor his unparalleled honor because of one man's defiance highlights how unchecked ego can lead to consuming bitterness and vengeful desires, a theme pervasive throughout [the book of Esther](/esther/1 "The Book of Esther"). Furthermore, it introduces the theme of **seeking counsel**, albeit in Haman's case, it's a search for validation rather than wisdom. His immediate summoning of his inner circle foreshadows the **perilous influence of intimate relationships**; their advice will not temper his rage but rather fuel his destructive intentions, setting the stage for the dramatic events that follow in [Esther 6](/esther/6 "Esther 6 - Haman's Humiliation and Mordecai's Honor").

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS
#### Key Word Analysis
* **Refrained himself (Hebrew, _vayyit'appak'_):** This verb, derived from the root אָפַק ('apak'), means "to hold back," "to control oneself," or "to exercise self-restraint." It implies a conscious, deliberate, and often difficult effort to suppress an intense emotion or action. In Haman's context, it reveals the profound depth of his rage; he was so consumed by fury at Mordecai that he had to exert significant willpower to avoid an immediate, public outburst, setting the stage for a more calculated, yet equally venomous, plan.
* **Friends (Hebrew, _re'im'_):** This term refers to companions or associates, typically those with whom one shares a close relationship. Haman's immediate summoning of his "friends" alongside his wife indicates a reliance on a trusted inner circle for emotional support, validation, and strategic counsel. Their presence underscores the social dimension of Haman's pride and his need for external affirmation of his perceived grievances and status.
* **Zeresh (Hebrew, _Zeresh'_):** Haman's wife, a significant character in the narrative, is explicitly named here. Her inclusion highlights her prominent role in Haman's life and decision-making process. As subsequent verses reveal, Zeresh is not merely a passive listener but an active participant in Haman's vengeful schemes, providing counsel that directly contributes to his downfall. Her presence emphasizes the domestic sphere as a critical influence on Haman's public actions.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"Nevertheless Haman refrained himself":** This opening clause immediately highlights Haman's internal conflict. Despite his immense pride and the public affront he felt from Mordecai, Haman managed to control his immediate, volatile reaction. The word "nevertheless" (וַיִּתְאַפַּק, _vayyit'appak_) emphasizes the difficulty of this restraint, suggesting a seething anger barely contained, a temporary suppression rather than a true resolution of his fury.
* **"and when he came home":** This phrase marks a crucial transition from the public sphere of the king's gate and the palace to the private, intimate setting of Haman's own residence. It signifies Haman's retreat from public scrutiny, allowing him to shed his restrained demeanor and fully express his true emotions and intentions without inhibition. The home becomes the crucible for his escalating malice.
* **"he sent and called for his friends, and Zeresh his wife":** This final clause reveals Haman's immediate priority upon reaching his private domain. His summoning of his closest confidantes—his friends and his wife, Zeresh—underscores his urgent need for validation, commiseration, and counsel regarding his obsessive hatred for Mordecai. This act sets the stage for the fateful discussion that will lead to the construction of the gallows, demonstrating the profound influence of one's inner circle on personal decisions, for good or ill.

#### Literary Devices
Esther 5:10 is rich with **Irony** and **Contrast**. The irony lies in Haman's inability to enjoy his unparalleled success and royal favor, as his immense pride is so fragile that one man's defiance completely overshadows his triumph. The contrast is stark between Haman's public composure ("refrained himself") and his private fury, which he immediately unleashes upon his arrival home. This highlights the performative nature of his public persona versus the true, venomous character beneath. The verse also employs **Foreshadowing**, as Haman's immediate consultation with his friends and Zeresh hints at their pivotal role in shaping his subsequent, destructive actions, particularly the suggestion to build the gallows in [Esther 5:14](/esther/5-14 "Esther 5:14 - Zeresh and Friends Counsel Haman"). The narrative structure here builds **Suspense**, leaving the reader to anticipate the vengeful plot that Haman will undoubtedly devise with his chosen confidantes.

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
Esther 5:10 serves as a powerful illustration of how unchecked pride and a thirst for absolute deference can corrupt even the most privileged positions, leading to a profound inner misery that external successes cannot alleviate. Haman's inability to find joy in his elevated status because of Mordecai's refusal to bow reveals a heart consumed by ego, where true contentment is supplanted by a desperate need for universal validation. This scenario underscores the spiritual truth that genuine peace and satisfaction are not found in worldly accolades or the subjugation of others, but in humility and a right relationship with God. The verse also highlights the critical influence of one's inner circle, demonstrating how counsel can either temper or inflame destructive impulses, a theme echoed throughout Scripture.

* [Proverbs 16:18](/proverbs/16-18 "Proverbs 16:18 - Pride Goes Before Destruction")
* [Proverbs 15:22](/proverbs/15-22 "Proverbs 15:22 - Counsel in Multitude of Counselors")
* [James 4:6](/james/4-6 "James 4:6 - God Opposes the Proud")

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Haman's story in Esther 5:10 offers a profound mirror for self-examination, revealing the insidious nature of pride and its capacity to steal joy and drive destructive behavior. We are often tempted to seek validation from others, allowing perceived slights or the lack of external recognition to overshadow genuine blessings. Haman's immediate retreat to his inner circle for validation, rather than wise counsel, serves as a cautionary tale about the company we keep and the advice we solicit when agitated. True wisdom calls us to process our emotions, not by seeking affirmation for our anger, but by seeking guidance that leads to peace, humility, and righteous action. This verse challenges us to cultivate a heart content in God's provision and to surround ourselves with those who will speak truth and wisdom into our lives, helping us to overcome bitterness and embrace grace, even when faced with opposition.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **How often do I allow a single perceived slight or lack of recognition to overshadow the many blessings in my life?**
* **When I am angry or upset, do I seek counsel that validates my anger, or counsel that leads me towards wisdom, peace, and reconciliation?**
* **Who are the "friends and Zeresh" in my life, and how do their voices influence my decisions when I am emotionally charged?**
* **What steps can I take to cultivate a heart of humility and contentment, less susceptible to the corrosive effects of pride and external validation?**

### FAQ
**Why was Haman so angry at Mordecai, even after receiving great honor?**

Answer: Haman's anger stemmed from his overwhelming pride and insatiable ego. Despite being the highest official in the Persian Empire, second only to the king, and having just received the unprecedented honor of being invited to a private banquet with Queen Esther and King Ahasuerus, his joy was completely eclipsed by Mordecai's refusal to bow to him. This defiance, first noted in [Esther 3:2](/esther/3-2 "Esther 3:2 - Mordecai's Refusal to Bow"), was a direct challenge to Haman's inflated sense of self-importance and authority. For Haman, one individual's lack of deference was a greater affront than all the public honors he received, demonstrating how unchecked pride can poison even the greatest successes and lead to consuming bitterness.

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
Haman's self-centered rage in Esther 5:10, fueled by a craving for human adulation and a refusal to tolerate any perceived slight, stands in stark contrast to the perfect humility and self-emptying love of Jesus Christ. Haman's pride led him to seek the destruction of Mordecai and the Jewish people, ultimately resulting in his own downfall. Conversely, Christ, "who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant" ([Philippians 2:6-7](/philippians/2-6 "Philippians 2:6-7 - Christ's Humility")). He did not "refrain himself" from anger out of a desire for human validation, but out of divine love, enduring immense suffering and humiliation for the sake of humanity's salvation, even when reviled ([1 Peter 2:23](/1_peter/2-23 "1 Peter 2:23 - Christ's Example of Suffering")). Haman's reliance on his "friends and Zeresh" for validation of his destructive impulses highlights the fallen human tendency to seek counsel that confirms our sinful desires. In contrast, believers are called to seek the counsel of the Holy Spirit and the wisdom found in God's Word, which leads to life and peace ([Romans 8:6](/romans/8-6 "Romans 8:6 - Mind Set on the Spirit is Life and Peace")). The ultimate fulfillment of this narrative's themes of pride, justice, and deliverance is found in Christ, who, unlike Haman, humbled himself to the point of death on a cross, thereby triumphing over sin and death and securing eternal deliverance for all who believe ([Colossians 2:15](/colossians/2-15 "Colossians 2:15 - Christ's Triumph Over Powers")).

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.

Cross-References

Esther 6:13

And Haman told Zeresh his wife and all his friends every [thing] that had befallen him. Then said his wise men and Zeresh his wife unto him, If Mordecai [be] of the seed of the Jews, before whom thou hast begun to fall, thou shalt not prevail against him, but shalt surely fall before him.

Ecclesiastes 7:9

Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.

Genesis 43:30

And Joseph made haste; for his bowels did yearn upon his brother: and he sought [where] to weep; and he entered into [his] chamber, and wept there.

Genesis 43:31

And he washed his face, and went out, and refrained himself, and said, Set on bread.

Genesis 45:1

¶ Then Joseph could not refrain himself before all them that stood by him; and he cried, Cause every man to go out from me. And there stood no man with him, while Joseph made himself known unto his brethren.

2 Samuel 13:22

And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad: for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.

2 Samuel 13:23

And it came to pass after two full years, that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baalhazor, which [is] beside Ephraim: and Absalom invited all the king's sons.