Psalms 38:11

KJV

My lovers and my friends stand aloof from my sore; and my kinsmen stand afar off.

KJV (with Strong's)

My lovers {H157} and my friends {H7453} stand {H5975}{H8799)} aloof from {H5048} my sore {H5061}; and my kinsmen {H7138} stand {H5975}{H8804)} afar off {H7350}.

Complete Jewish Bible

My friends and companions shun my disease; even the closest keep their distance.

Berean Standard Bible

My beloved and friends shun my disease, and my kinsmen stand at a distance.

American Standard Version

My lovers and my friends stand aloof from my plague; And my kinsmen stand afar off.

Commentary

### SUMMARY
Psalms 38:11 profoundly articulates the psalmist's deep anguish and sense of utter abandonment during a period of intense, multifaceted suffering. King David, afflicted by physical illness, emotional turmoil, and spiritual distress over his sin, laments that his closest companions—his "lovers and friends"—and even his own "kinsmen" have deliberately distanced themselves. This verse powerfully conveys the devastating impact of relational betrayal and social ostracism, which compounds an already heavy burden of personal affliction, leaving the psalmist isolated and vulnerable.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** Psalm 38 is a poignant individual lament, often identified as one of the seven penitential psalms, believed to be authored by King David. The psalm immediately plunges into a desperate plea for God's mercy, setting a tone of profound distress as David describes a holistic suffering encompassing severe physical ailments ("no soundness in my flesh" and "no health in my bones" as seen in [Psalm 38:3](/psalms/38-3 "Psalm 38:3 - David's Physical and Spiritual Pain")), overwhelming emotional pain, and a crushing spiritual burden due to his iniquities ([Psalm 38:4](/psalms/38-4 "Psalm 38:4 - Burden of Iniquities")). Within this narrative of escalating pain, verse 11 serves as a critical intensification, revealing that his suffering extends beyond the personal to the relational. The withdrawal of those who should offer comfort exacerbates his sense of shame and isolation, making his subsequent cries for divine intervention all the more urgent and heartfelt.
* **Historical & Cultural Context:** In ancient Israelite society, communal solidarity and familial bonds were foundational, providing the primary framework for identity, support, and security. Illness, particularly severe or prolonged affliction, was frequently interpreted as a sign of divine displeasure or judgment, leading to significant social stigma. This perception could cause individuals to be shunned, even by their closest relations, out of fear of perceived contamination or association with divine wrath. While the precise historical setting for David's suffering in Psalm 38 is not explicitly detailed, it could relate to periods of personal illness, the aftermath of a major sin (such as the Bathsheba affair or the census), or the political and personal turmoil of Absalom's rebellion, which saw many turn against him. This cultural backdrop amplifies the psalmist's lament, as the abandonment by "lovers and friends" and "kinsmen" represents a complete collapse of expected social and familial support, leaving him utterly exposed and vulnerable to his afflictions.
* **Key Themes:** This verse powerfully contributes to several overarching themes within Psalm 38 and the broader Psalter. First, it vividly illustrates the **Profound Isolation and Abandonment** experienced by the suffering individual. The psalmist's lament underscores the heartbreaking reality that human relationships, even the most intimate, can prove fragile and conditional in times of severe distress, exposing the limits of human compassion and loyalty. Second, it deepens the theme of **The Multi-Dimensional Nature of Suffering**, demonstrating that affliction is not merely physical or spiritual but also deeply relational and emotional. The pain of being forsaken by one's support network adds a crushing weight to existing burdens. Finally, the verse speaks to **Human Frailty and Betrayal**, revealing the bitter truth that even trusted companions and family members can fail to provide comfort and support, sometimes due to fear, misunderstanding, or a desire to distance themselves from perceived disgrace. This echoes the experience of [Job, whose friends turned against him](/job/19-13 "Job 19:13 - Job's Friends and Family Forsake Him") in his affliction, illustrating a universal aspect of human brokenness and the unreliability of human solidarity.

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS
#### Key Word Analysis
* **Sore (Hebrew, _negaʻ_):** (H5061) This term is highly significant, referring to a "blow" or "infliction," often with the connotation of a severe affliction or even a divine visitation. While it can denote a physical wound or plague, in Psalm 38, it encompasses the psalmist's multifaceted suffering—physical illness, emotional anguish, and the spiritual burden of sin—which is perceived by others as a source of repulsion or defilement.
* **Aloof from (Hebrew, _neged_):** (H5048) This prepositional adverb signifies a position "over against" or "opposite," often implying distance. In this context, it emphasizes a deliberate act of keeping one's distance or standing "far off" from the psalmist's suffering. It highlights the intentional withdrawal by those who should be closest, underscoring the active rejection experienced by the psalmist in his time of need.
* **Kinsmen (Hebrew, _qârôwb_):** (H7138) This adjective literally means "near" in place, kindred, or time, and is used here to denote "relatives" or "those of kin." Its inclusion after "lovers and friends" intensifies the sense of abandonment. While "lovers and friends" might imply chosen relationships, "kinsmen" refers to blood relatives, those bound by fundamental family ties. Their decision to stand "afar off" underscores the completeness of the psalmist's relational void, as even the most foundational bonds have been severed.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"My lovers and my friends":** This phrase refers to those with whom the psalmist shared intimate companionship and close fellowship. "Lovers" (אֹהֲבַי, _’ohavai_) can denote deep affection and loyalty, while "friends" (רֵעַי, _re‘ai_) signifies trusted companions. The psalmist's initial lament is that even these cherished relationships, which should offer comfort and support, have failed him in his time of dire need.
* **"stand aloof from my sore":** This clause describes the active and intentional distancing of these close companions. They are not merely absent; they are deliberately maintaining a physical and emotional distance from his "sore" (affliction). The "sore" is presented as the reason for their withdrawal, suggesting that his suffering—perhaps due to its perceived origin (sin, divine judgment) or its repulsive nature (physical illness)—has become an insurmountable barrier to human compassion and solidarity.
* **"and my kinsmen stand afar off":** This second clause parallels and intensifies the first, completing the picture of total abandonment. The addition of "my kinsmen" (קְרוֹבַי, _qerōbāy_), or blood relatives, signifies that the abandonment is absolute, extending even to family members who are expected to provide unwavering, unconditional support. The phrase "stand afar off" reinforces the deliberate and complete nature of their separation, leaving the psalmist utterly isolated and without any human comfort or solace.

#### Literary Devices
Psalms 38:11 masterfully employs several **literary devices** to convey the psalmist's profound sense of abandonment. The most prominent is **Parallelism**, specifically synonymous parallelism, where the second half of the verse reiterates and intensifies the first. "My lovers and my friends" is paralleled by "my kinsmen," while "stand aloof from my sore" is echoed and strengthened by "stand afar off." This doubling emphasizes the comprehensive nature of the abandonment, showing that no human relationship, however close, has remained steadfast. The verse also uses vivid **Imagery**, painting a clear picture of people physically distancing themselves from the psalmist's "sore," making the emotional pain palpable. This physical distance serves as a powerful metaphor for relational and emotional estrangement. Furthermore, the psalmist's lament evokes strong **Pathos**, appealing directly to the reader's emotions and generating a deep sense of pity and sorrow for his desolate state. The repetition and intensification underscore the psalmist's deep emotional distress, highlighting the devastating impact of betrayal and isolation.

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
The profound abandonment experienced by the psalmist in Psalms 38:11 resonates deeply with the broader biblical narrative of human suffering and, by contrast, the ultimate reliability of God. While human relationships, even the most intimate, prove fragile and conditional in the face of adversity, this verse implicitly highlights the steadfast and unconditional nature of divine love. It serves as a stark reminder that reliance on human support, while natural and often beneficial, can ultimately lead to disappointment. In contrast, the Scriptures consistently portray God as the one who draws near when all others withdraw, offering solace and unwavering presence. This human failure to show compassion in times of "sore" underscores the unique faithfulness of God, who never abandons His children, even when they are suffering due to their own sin.

* [Psalm 69:8](/psalms/69-8 "Estrangement from Family")
* [Psalm 27:10](/psalms/27-10 "God's Unfailing Care")
* [Job 19:13-19](/job/19-13-19 "Job 19:13-19 - Job's Friends and Family Desert Him")

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Psalms 38:11 offers a poignant mirror for anyone who has experienced the crushing weight of loneliness, betrayal, or social isolation during a time of hardship. Whether due to illness, personal struggles, or perceived disgrace, the psalmist's lament validates the profound pain of being abandoned by those who should be closest. It reminds us that even figures of great faith and stature like King David faced such trials, normalizing an experience that often feels uniquely isolating. For those in the midst of their own "sore," this verse acknowledges the depth of their wound and implicitly points to the enduring presence of God, who promises never to leave nor forsake His own ([Hebrews 13:5](/hebrews/13-5 "Hebrews 13:5 - God's Promise of Presence")). Moreover, this verse serves as a powerful challenge to us as members of a community: how do we respond when our friends, family, or fellow believers are in their "sore"? Do we, like those in the psalm, "stand aloof" or "afar off" out of fear, judgment, or discomfort? Or do we draw near with compassion, empathy, and practical support, reflecting the steadfast love of Christ to those who are suffering and alone? Our response in such moments reveals the true nature of our fellowship and our commitment to embodying the gospel.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **In what ways have you experienced or witnessed the pain of abandonment during a time of personal "sore"?**
* **How does the psalmist's lament challenge your understanding of human loyalty and the limits of earthly relationships?**
* **What practical steps can you take to "draw near" to someone in your community who is experiencing suffering or isolation, rather than "standing aloof"?**
* **How does the knowledge of God's unfailing presence provide comfort when human support fails?**

### FAQ
**Is David's "sore" only a physical illness?**

Answer: While the term "sore" (נֶגַע, _nega‘_) can certainly refer to a physical ailment, in the context of Psalm 38, it is understood to encompass a multifaceted affliction. The psalm describes not only physical decay ("no soundness in my flesh," [Psalm 38:3](/psalms/38-3 "Psalm 38:3 - David's Physical and Spiritual Pain")) but also emotional distress ("my heart pants," [Psalm 38:10](/psalms/38-10 "Psalm 38:10 - David's Anguish")) and spiritual anguish related to his sin ([Psalm 38:4](/psalms/38-4 "Psalm 38:4 - Burden of Iniquities")). Therefore, the "sore" represents a holistic state of suffering—physical, emotional, and spiritual—which is compounded by the social ostracism described in verse 11.

**Why would friends and family abandon someone in distress, especially in ancient times?**

Answer: In ancient Israel, severe illness or misfortune was often interpreted as a sign of divine judgment or a direct consequence of sin. This perception could lead to significant social stigma, as people might fear "contagion" (physical or spiritual) or wish to distance themselves from someone perceived to be under God's wrath. Friends and family might abandon an afflicted individual out of fear, shame by association, a desire to protect their own reputation, or a genuine belief that the suffering was deserved. This is vividly illustrated in the book of [Job, where his friends initially come to comfort him but then turn to accusation](/job/2-11 "Job 2:11 - Job's Friends Come to Comfort Him"). The abandonment highlights the fragility of human loyalty when faced with difficult or stigmatized circumstances.

**Does this verse imply that God also abandons us in our suffering?**

Answer: No, this verse describes the failure of human relationships, not divine abandonment. In fact, the psalmist's lament throughout Psalm 38 is a desperate cry *to God* for mercy and deliverance, implying that God is his only remaining hope. While David acknowledges his own sin as a source of his suffering, he never suggests that God has completely forsaken him. Instead, the human abandonment serves to highlight the contrast with God's steadfastness. Other psalms explicitly state God's unwavering presence, even when human support fails, as seen in [Psalm 27:10](/psalms/27-10 "Psalm 27:10 - God's Unfailing Care"), which declares, "When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up."

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
Psalms 38:11, with its raw depiction of abandonment by "lovers and friends" and "kinsmen" in a time of deep "sore," finds its ultimate and most profound fulfillment in the person of Jesus Christ. While David's suffering was, in part, a consequence of his own sin, Christ, the sinless Lamb of God, endured the most complete and unjust abandonment imaginable. His "sore" was not merely a personal affliction but the collective sin of humanity, which He bore on the cross. During His passion, Jesus experienced the desertion of His closest disciples, who "forsook him, and fled" ([Matthew 26:56](/matthew/26-56 "Matthew 26:56 - Disciples Flee")). His own people, to whom He came, rejected Him ([John 1:11](/john/1-11 "John 1:11 - Jesus Rejected by His Own")), crying out for His crucifixion ([Luke 23:21](/luke/23-21 "Luke 23:21 - Crucify Him!")). Most agonizingly, He experienced a unique and terrifying sense of divine abandonment, crying out, "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" ([Matthew 27:46](/matthew/27-46 "Matthew 27:46 - Jesus' Cry of Dereliction")). This complete human and divine forsakenness was not due to His own fault, but for our redemption. Through His experience of utter isolation, Christ became the sympathetic High Priest who can truly empathize with our weaknesses and pains ([Hebrews 4:15](/hebrews/4-15 "Hebrews 4:15 - Our Sympathetic High Priest")), ensuring that those who trust in Him will never be truly abandoned, even when human relationships fail.

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.

Cross-References

Psalms 31:11

I was a reproach among all mine enemies, but especially among my neighbours, and a fear to mine acquaintance: they that did see me without fled from me.

Luke 23:49

And all his acquaintance, and the women that followed him from Galilee, stood afar off, beholding these things.

Job 19:13

He hath put my brethren far from me, and mine acquaintance are verily estranged from me.

Job 19:17

My breath is strange to my wife, though I intreated for the children's [sake] of mine own body.

Luke 10:31

And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.

Luke 10:32

And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked [on him], and passed by on the other side.

Psalms 88:18

Lover and friend hast thou put far from me, [and] mine acquaintance into darkness.