Proverbs 17:9

KJV

¶ He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth [very] friends.

KJV (with Strong's)

He that covereth {H3680} a transgression {H6588} seeketh {H1245} love {H160}; but he that repeateth {H8138} a matter {H1697} separateth {H6504} very friends {H441}.

Complete Jewish Bible

He who conceals an offense promotes love, but he who harps on it can separate even close friends.

Berean Standard Bible

Whoever conceals an offense promotes love, but he who brings it up separates friends.

American Standard Version

He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; But he that harpeth on a matter separateth chief friends.

Commentary

### SUMMARY
Proverbs 17:9 offers profound wisdom on the dynamics of human relationships, contrasting behaviors that foster love and unity with those that cause division and strife. It posits that a person who chooses to overlook or graciously conceal a past offense actively pursues and preserves love, thereby strengthening relational bonds. Conversely, the proverb warns that one who persistently rehashes or broadcasts a sensitive matter will inevitably fracture even the closest of friendships, demonstrating the destructive power of indiscreet speech and unforgiveness.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** Proverbs 17:9 is situated within the "Proverbs of Solomon" (chapters 10-22), a collection characterized by pithy, often antithetical, statements designed to impart practical wisdom for daily living. This verse employs **antithetical parallelism**, a hallmark of Hebrew poetry, by presenting two contrasting actions and their respective outcomes: "He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth [very] friends." This structure highlights the moral choice and its inevitable consequence, emphasizing the profound impact of one's words and attitudes on interpersonal harmony. The verse resonates with other proverbs that underscore the importance of wise speech, self-control, and the cultivation of genuine friendship, such as the warning against a "whisperer" in [Proverbs 16:28](/proverbs/16-28 "Proverbs 16:28 - A Whisperer Separates Friends") or the value of discretion in [Proverbs 11:13](/proverbs/11-13 "Proverbs 11:13 - A Faithful Spirit Conceals Matters").
* **Historical & Cultural Context:** In ancient Israel, community and relational bonds were paramount. One's social standing and well-being were deeply intertwined with the health of their relationships within the family, clan, and wider community. Reputation was highly valued, and public shame could be devastating. The concept of "covering" a transgression in this context implies a deliberate act of grace—choosing not to expose, gossip about, or continually bring up another's fault, thereby preserving their honor and the relationship. Conversely, "repeating a matter" could involve spreading gossip, reminding someone of a past failure, or refusing to let go of a grievance. Such actions were seen as deeply destructive to the social fabric, eroding trust and leading to isolation. True friendship, often described as a covenantal bond, required loyalty, discretion, and a willingness to extend mercy, reflecting the very nature of God's relationship with His people, as seen in the covenant promises throughout [Exodus](/exodus/19 "Exodus 19 - The Mosaic Covenant") and [Deuteronomy](/deuteronomy/7 "Deuteronomy 7 - God's Covenant Faithfulness").
* **Key Themes:** This proverb centrally addresses the themes of **forgiveness and reconciliation**, presenting the act of "covering a transgression" as a proactive pursuit of love. This does not imply condoning sin, but rather a gracious choice to not dwell on, expose, or perpetually hold an offense against another, thereby creating space for healing and restoration. This aligns with the New Testament principle that [love "covers a multitude of sins"](/1_peter/4-8 "1 Peter 4:8 - Love Covers Sins"). Secondly, the verse highlights the critical theme of **discretion and the destructive power of speech**. It starkly warns against the detrimental impact of gossip, rehashing past wrongs, or constantly reminding someone of their mistakes. Such behavior, whether motivated by malice, a desire for control, or simply a lack of wisdom, inevitably erodes trust and breaks down even the strongest friendships. This theme is pervasive throughout Proverbs, which frequently admonishes against the misuse of the tongue, as seen in [Proverbs 18:21](/proverbs/18-21 "Proverbs 18:21 - Death and Life in the Power of the Tongue"). Finally, the proverb implicitly defines the **nature of true friendship**, portraying it as a relationship characterized by grace, loyalty, and a willingness to overlook faults for the sake of preserving the bond.

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS

#### Key Word Analysis
* **covereth (Hebrew, _kâçâh'_):** This primitive root primarily means "to plump, i.e. fill up hollows," and by implication, "to cover" for clothing or secrecy. In the context of Proverbs 17:9, it signifies a deliberate act of concealment or withholding, not in the sense of hiding truth or enabling sin, but rather choosing not to expose, publicize, or dwell on another's fault. It implies a gracious act of overlooking or forgiving, allowing the offense to be "covered over" rather than continually brought to light.
* **repeateth (Hebrew, _shânâh'_):** Derived from a primitive root meaning "to fold, i.e. duplicate," this word implies doing something "again" or "a second time." When applied to "a matter" (dâbâr), it refers to repeatedly bringing up an issue, dwelling on it, or spreading it. This action is characterized by a lack of discretion, a refusal to let go of a past grievance, or an insistence on rehashing a painful event, which ultimately leads to relational breakdown.
* **friends (Hebrew, _ʼallûwph'_):** This term denotes someone "familiar," a "close friend," an "intimate acquaintance," or even a "chieftain" or "guide." The use of this strong term emphasizes that the destructive behavior of "repeating a matter" can sever even the deepest and most trusted bonds. It highlights the profound and tragic loss that results when discretion and grace are absent in close relationships.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"He that covereth a transgression seeketh love":** This clause presents a positive and proactive approach to relational harmony. The act of "covering a transgression" (H3680 _kâçâh_ a H6588 _peshaʻ_) implies a deliberate choice to exercise grace, discretion, and forgiveness. A "transgression" (H6588 _peshaʻ_) is a rebellion, an offense, or a breach of trust. By choosing not to expose, broadcast, or continually remind someone of their fault, the individual "seeketh love" (H1245 _bâqash_ H160 _ʼahăbâh_). This "love" (H160 _ʼahăbâh_) refers to affection, goodwill, and the maintenance of strong, healthy relationships. The pursuit of love is presented as the direct and desirable outcome of such gracious discretion.
* **"but he that repeateth a matter separateth [very] friends":** This contrasting clause reveals the destructive consequence of an unforgiving and indiscreet attitude. "He that repeateth a matter" (H8138 _shânâh_ H1697 _dâbâr_) refers to someone who habitually brings up past offenses, gossips about a sensitive issue, or refuses to let go of a grievance. A "matter" (H1697 _dâbâr_) can be a word, a thing, or an affair. This constant rehashing or broadcasting of a fault "separateth" (H6504 _pârad_) – meaning to break through, divide, or scatter – even "very friends" (H441 _ʼallûwph_). The use of "very friends" underscores that even the most intimate and cherished relationships are vulnerable to the corrosive effect of repeated grievances and a lack of discretion.

#### Literary Devices
Proverbs 17:9 is a masterful example of **Antithetical Parallelism**, a fundamental literary device in Hebrew wisdom literature. The verse is divided into two distinct clauses that present opposing ideas, actions, and consequences, thereby emphasizing a moral truth through contrast. The first half describes a positive action ("covereth a transgression") and its beneficial outcome ("seeketh love"), while the second half describes a negative action ("repeateth a matter") and its detrimental result ("separateth very friends"). This stark juxtaposition powerfully highlights the wisdom of discretion and forgiveness versus the folly of unforgiveness and gossip. Furthermore, the phrase "covereth a transgression" functions as a **Metaphor** for forgiveness and grace, visually depicting the act of concealing or overlooking a fault. The verb "separateth" also carries a strong **Imagery** of division and rupture, vividly portraying the breaking of relational bonds. The entire verse operates on a clear **Cause and Effect** principle, demonstrating that specific behaviors directly lead to predictable relational outcomes, reinforcing the practical and ethical instruction inherent in the book of Proverbs.

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
Proverbs 17:9 deeply resonates with the broader biblical narrative concerning the nature of God, human relationships, and the power of speech. The act of "covering a transgression" reflects a divine attribute, as God Himself is portrayed as one who forgives and remembers our sins no more, demonstrating mercy over judgment. This proverb calls believers to emulate God's character in their interpersonal dealings, extending grace and forgiveness rather than dwelling on others' faults. It underscores that genuine love is not merely an emotion but an active choice to protect and preserve relationships, even in the face of offense. Conversely, the warning against "repeating a matter" highlights the destructive potential of the tongue, a theme consistently addressed throughout Scripture. Uncontrolled or malicious speech can devastate trust, foster bitterness, and fragment communities, directly opposing the call to unity and love within the body of Christ.

* [1 Peter 4:8](/1_peter/4-8 "1 Peter 4:8 - Love Covers a Multitude of Sins")
* [Proverbs 16:28](/proverbs/16-28 "Proverbs 16:28 - A Whisperer Separates Chief Friends")
* [Colossians 3:13](/colossians/3-13 "Colossians 3:13 - Bearing with One Another and Forgiving")

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Proverbs 17:9 offers timeless and profoundly practical guidance for cultivating healthy, enduring relationships in every sphere of life—family, friendships, church, and even professional settings. In an age saturated with instant communication and the temptation to air grievances publicly, this proverb serves as a vital counter-cultural call to discretion and grace. It challenges us to actively choose forgiveness and to resist the urge to rehash past wrongs, whether in private conversations, social media posts, or persistent internal rumination. True love, as depicted here, is not naive to faults but rather possesses the wisdom and strength to "cover" them, fostering an environment where healing and growth are possible. This requires intentional self-control over our words and thoughts, a willingness to extend mercy as we have received it, and a commitment to prioritize relational harmony over the satisfaction of being "right" or exposing another's flaws. By embracing this wisdom, we contribute to a culture of grace that builds up rather than tears down, reflecting the very heart of God in our interactions.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **How willing am I to "cover" the transgressions of others, especially those close to me, and what prevents me from doing so?**
* **In what specific ways might I be "repeating a matter" in my relationships, whether through gossip, persistent reminders of past mistakes, or holding onto grudges?**
* **What practical steps can I take this week to cultivate a spirit of grace and discretion in my speech and thoughts towards others?**

### FAQ

**Does "covering a transgression" imply condoning sin or avoiding accountability?**

Answer: No, "covering a transgression" does not mean condoning sin, ignoring injustice, or avoiding necessary accountability. The wisdom of Proverbs often operates on a relational level, encouraging actions that preserve community and love. To "cover" a transgression in this context means choosing not to expose, publicize, or repeatedly bring up a past offense, especially when it has been repented of or addressed. It's an act of grace and discretion aimed at fostering reconciliation and maintaining love, rather than perpetually punishing or shaming. Serious sins or injustices still require appropriate responses, which may include confrontation, repentance, and restitution, as outlined in passages like [Matthew 18:15-17](/matthew/18-15 "Matthew 18:15-17 - Restoring a Sinning Brother"). The proverb focuses on the *relational* impact of how we handle faults, distinguishing between a gracious spirit that seeks to restore and a destructive spirit that seeks to divide.

**How can I apply this proverb in difficult relationships where trust has been deeply broken?**

Answer: Applying Proverbs 17:9 in deeply broken relationships requires immense wisdom and discernment. While the proverb encourages covering transgressions to seek love, it primarily addresses the general dynamics of friendship and minor offenses. In cases of deep betrayal, abuse, or ongoing harmful behavior, merely "covering" the transgression without addressing the root issues would be unwise and potentially enable further harm. Instead, this proverb reminds us that once genuine repentance and reconciliation have occurred, a commitment to not continually rehash the past is crucial for rebuilding trust. It calls for a long-term commitment to forgiveness and a refusal to weaponize past mistakes. However, boundaries and professional help may be necessary in severe cases, ensuring that "love" is pursued in a way that is both gracious and protective, as seen in the call for wisdom in [James 3:17](/james/3-17 "James 3:17 - Wisdom from Above").

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
Proverbs 17:9 finds its ultimate and most profound fulfillment in the person and work of Jesus Christ. He is the one who truly "covereth a transgression" in a way that perfectly seeks and establishes eternal love. Our transgressions, our rebellion against God, are not merely overlooked but are fully atoned for by His sacrificial death on the cross, as [Isaiah 53:5](/isaiah/53-5 "Isaiah 53:5 - Christ's Atoning Sacrifice") prophesied. Through Christ, God "covers" our sins, removing them as far as the east is from the west, as celebrated in [Psalm 103:12](/psalms/103-12 "Psalm 103:12 - God Removes Our Sins"), and no longer "repeats the matter" against us, because the debt has been paid. The New Covenant, established in His blood, promises forgiveness and a new heart, where our sins are remembered no more ([Jeremiah 31:34](/jeremiah/31-34 "Jeremiah 31:34 - The New Covenant")). Jesus's own life exemplified this proverb; He did not come to condemn the world but to save it ([John 3:17](/john/3-17 "John 3:17 - Jesus Did Not Come to Condemn")), and His interactions, such as with the woman caught in adultery, demonstrated a profound grace that called for repentance without public shaming ([John 8:1-11](/john/8-1 "John 8:1-11 - Jesus and the Woman Caught in Adultery")). As believers, we are called to embody this Christ-like grace, forgiving one another "just as Christ forgave you" ([Ephesians 4:32](/ephesians/4-32 "Ephesians 4:32 - Be Kind and Forgiving")), thereby participating in the love that covers and unites, rather than the repetition that separates.

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.

Cross-References

Proverbs 10:12

¶ Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.

1 Peter 4:8

And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.

Proverbs 16:28

A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.

Psalms 32:1

¶ [A] Psalm of David, Maschil. Blessed [is he whose] transgression [is] forgiven, [whose] sin [is] covered.