What the Bible Says About Kindness and Gentleness
In a world often characterized by harshness, strife, and self-assertion, the biblical virtues of kindness and gentleness shine forth as beacons of God's character and calling for His people. These are not mere suggestions for social etiquette, but core components of the Christian walk, deeply rooted in the very nature of God Himself. The King James Version of the Bible, with its rich and profound language, illuminates these attributes as essential for spiritual maturity and effective witness.
Kindness, often translated from the Greek word chrestotes, speaks of moral goodness, integrity, and benevolence. It is an active expression of goodwill, a tender and compassionate disposition that seeks the well-being of others. It is not passive, but actively benevolent, showing a good and gracious disposition. Gentleness, frequently derived from prautes (meekness) or epieikeia (moderation or forbearance), does not imply weakness but rather strength under control, a humble and patient spirit that refrains from harshness, retaliation, or self-assertion. It is a quiet, unassuming strength that prefers reconciliation over conflict, and understanding over judgment.
Kindness: A Divine Attribute and Fruit of the Spirit
The Bible reveals that kindness is first and foremost an attribute of God Himself. His divine nature is permeated with it, and it is His kindness that draws humanity to repentance and salvation. The Apostle Paul highlights this truth:
Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?
God's act of salvation through Christ is presented as the ultimate demonstration of His kindness toward mankind, undeserving as we are:
But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;
As believers, we are called to emulate this divine attribute. Kindness is listed as one of the nine fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23, signifying that it is not something we can naturally produce in our own strength, but rather a supernatural outflow of the Holy Spirit's work within us. When we walk in the Spirit, kindness becomes a natural expression of our renewed nature.
The New Testament epistles frequently exhort Christians to manifest kindness in their daily interactions. It is a foundational virtue for healthy relationships within the body of Christ and in the world:
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
This verse directly links our kindness to others with God's kindness and forgiveness towards us, establishing a profound theological basis for its practice. Similarly, believers are commanded to actively "put on" this virtue:
Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
Kindness is also an integral aspect of Christian love, or charity, as described in 1 Corinthians 13. "Charity suffereth long, and is kind." This indicates that true love is not merely an emotion, but an active, patient, and benevolent disposition. The virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 is likewise characterized by her speech: "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness." (Proverbs 31:26). This shows that kindness is expressed not only in actions but also in words, fostering an atmosphere of grace and edification.
Gentleness: A Mark of True Wisdom and Humility
Like kindness, gentleness (often translated as meekness or moderation) is a profound characteristic of God and a fruit of the Spirit. It is powerfully demonstrated in the person of Jesus Christ Himself, who perfectly embodied this virtue:
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
Christ's meekness was not weakness, but a divine strength under perfect control, willing to submit to the Father's will even unto death on the cross. This humility and self-control are the hallmarks of true gentleness.
The Apostle Paul includes "meekness" (gentleness) as a fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:23, alongside kindness. This underscores its supernatural origin and vital importance for the Christian walk. James, the brother of Jesus, connects gentleness directly to true, heavenly wisdom, contrasting it with worldly wisdom that leads to strife:
But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.
This verse reveals that gentleness is a key indicator of a heart transformed by God's wisdom, leading to peace and reconciliation rather than conflict. It makes one "easy to be intreated," meaning approachable and reasonable, willing to listen and be persuaded by truth.
Believers are exhorted to let their "moderation" (often understood as gentleness or forbearance) be known to all men:
Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.
This implies that our gentle, reasonable, and forbearing spirit should be evident to everyone we encounter, serving as a powerful testimony to the indwelling Christ. Furthermore, in dealing with those who oppose the truth, Christians are instructed to act with gentleness:
And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;
This passage is crucial, as it commands a gentle approach even in difficult situations, recognizing that it is God who grants repentance. Similarly, when sharing the hope of the Gospel, it must be done with reverence and meekness:
But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:
This ensures that our message is received, not dismissed due to an abrasive delivery. Titus also echoes the call for universal meekness: "To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men." (Titus 3:2).
The Interplay and Practical Application
Kindness and gentleness are deeply intertwined and mutually reinforcing. Kindness is the active expression of goodwill, while gentleness is the manner in which that goodwill is conveyed—without harshness, pride, or aggression. Together, they create an atmosphere conducive to peace, understanding, and love.
In practice, this means:
- In Relationships: A kind and gentle spouse fosters a loving home. Kind and gentle parents discipline with grace. Kind and gentle friends build each other up.
- In the Church: These virtues promote unity, resolve conflicts biblically, and ensure that church leadership serves with humility and care.
- In Evangelism: As seen in 2 Timothy 2:24-25 and 1 Peter 3:15, a kind and gentle approach disarms defensiveness and opens hearts to the truth of the Gospel, making the message more accessible and winsome.
- In Society: A Christian who embodies kindness and gentleness stands in stark contrast to the world's often abrasive and confrontational spirit, becoming a light that glorifies God.
These virtues are not weakness but a powerful display of God's strength working through His people. They enable believers to endure provocation, respond to opposition with grace, and maintain composure in difficult circumstances. They are the antithesis of pride, anger, and bitterness, which war against the soul and hinder spiritual growth.
Cultivating Kindness and Gentleness
Since kindness and gentleness are fruits of the Spirit, their cultivation is not merely a matter of self-effort or willpower. It requires a continual yielding to the Holy Spirit's work in our lives. This involves:
Conclusion
In conclusion, kindness and gentleness are not optional accessories for the Christian life but fundamental virtues that reflect the character of God and the transforming power of the Holy Spirit. They are indispensable for healthy relationships, effective witness, and personal godliness. They testify to the world that we have been with Jesus and learned of Him. As believers, we are called to actively cultivate these attributes, allowing them to permeate every aspect of our lives, from our private thoughts to our public interactions.
May we, by God's grace and the indwelling Spirit, strive daily to clothe ourselves with these precious garments, adorning the doctrine of God our Saviour in all things, and truly letting our moderation be known unto all men, for the Lord is at hand.