Marriage Customs in Biblical Times

Marriage Customs in Biblical Times

Marriage, as ordained by God, has always been a foundational institution for humanity. From the very beginning, in the Garden of Eden, the Lord established marriage as a sacred union between one man and one woman. While the divine principles of marriage remain immutable—permanence, fidelity, and procreation—the customs surrounding its formation varied significantly throughout the biblical era. Understanding these ancient practices provides valuable insight into the cultural backdrop against which God's eternal truth was revealed, helping us to appreciate both the timeless nature of the covenant and the specific societal norms of the time.

The Divine Institution of Marriage

The origin of marriage is found in the book of Genesis, long before any human customs were established. God Himself initiated the first marriage, setting the blueprint for all future unions. After creating Adam, God observed that he was alone and declared, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." (Genesis 2:18). From Adam's rib, He formed Eve, presenting her to Adam in what can be described as the first wedding ceremony. Adam's response, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man" (Genesis 2:23), set the precedent for the intimate, unified nature of marriage.

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

This "one flesh" union signifies not merely a physical joining, but a profound spiritual and emotional bond, a covenant before God. Throughout the Old Testament, marriage was understood as a covenant, a solemn agreement sealed by God. Malachi condemns those who deal treacherously with their wives, reminding them of this sacred bond:

Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.

Malachi 2:14

This divine foundation undergirded all subsequent customs, establishing marriage as a holy and enduring institution, regardless of the cultural trappings surrounding it.

Betrothal: The Binding Agreement

One of the most significant differences between ancient biblical marriage customs and modern practices lies in the concept of betrothal, often translated as "espousal." Unlike a modern engagement, which is typically a promise to marry that can be broken without legal repercussions, betrothal in biblical times was a legally binding contract. It was considered the first stage of marriage, often arranged by the parents, and could only be dissolved by a formal divorce.

The seriousness of betrothal is clearly seen in the New Testament account of Joseph and Mary. When Joseph discovered that Mary, his espoused wife, was with child before they had come together, he planned to divorce her privately to avoid public shame (Matthew 1:18-19). This illustrates that even though they were not yet living together as husband and wife, their betrothal carried the legal weight of marriage.

During the betrothal period, which could last for several months or even a year, the couple lived separately. This time allowed for preparations for the wedding and the establishment of their new home. The purity of the betrothed woman was highly valued, and sexual relations during this period were strictly forbidden. Violation of this sanctity was considered adultery, carrying severe penalties under the Mosaic Law (Deuteronomy 22:23-24).

The Dowry and Bride Price

In biblical times, economic considerations often played a role in marriage arrangements, particularly concerning the transfer of wealth or goods. Two primary concepts were the "bride price" (or mohar) and the "dowry."

These practices, while foreign to many modern cultures, highlighted the societal importance of the marriage alliance and the economic well-being of the new couple, alongside the spiritual covenant.

The Wedding Ceremony and Feast

The actual wedding ceremony in biblical times was often less of a formal ritual and more of a festive procession and celebration. The culmination of the betrothal period was the groom coming to take his bride from her father's house to his own, or to his father's house. This event was often accompanied by great joy and public celebration.

• The Procession: The groom, accompanied by his friends, would go to the bride's house, often at night, with lamps and torches. This procession is famously alluded to in the parable of the ten virgins in Matthew 25:1-13, who waited for the bridegroom to arrive. The bride, adorned and veiled, would then join the procession to the groom's home.
• The Feast: Upon arrival at the groom's house, a wedding feast would commence, often lasting for several days, sometimes even a week (Genesis 29:27; Judges 14:12). This feast was a central part of the celebration, involving food, wine, music, and dancing, with the entire community participating in the joy of the new union. The wedding at Cana, where Jesus performed His first miracle, provides a glimpse into the importance of these feasts (John 2:1-11).

While specific vows as we understand them today are not explicitly detailed in scripture, the public nature of the procession and feast, coupled with the prior betrothal, served as the declaration and confirmation of the marriage covenant before the community.

Consummation and the Marriage Covenant

Following the wedding feast, the marriage was consummated. This act was not merely physical but held deep covenantal significance, completing the "one flesh" union spoken of in Genesis. The purity of the bride was a crucial aspect, especially in ancient Israelite society. Deuteronomy 22 outlines laws concerning a husband's accusation of his wife's lack of virginity, demonstrating the high value placed on purity and integrity within the marriage covenant.

If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her,

And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid:

Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate:

Deuteronomy 22:13-15

This passage underscores that marriage was a public and communal affair, where the honor of both families was intertwined with the integrity of the union. The consummation solidified the covenant, making the two individuals truly "one flesh" in the eyes of God and man. This covenant was intended to be permanent, as reiterated by Jesus:

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Matthew 19:6

Enduring Biblical Principles of Marriage

While the customs of biblical times may seem distant, the underlying principles of marriage remain eternally relevant and are consistently taught throughout Scripture. These divine truths transcend cultural norms:

Conclusion

The marriage customs in biblical times, though distinct from our modern practices, consistently pointed to the profound spiritual reality of marriage as a divine institution. From the solemnity of betrothal and the practicalities of bride price and dowry, to the joy of the wedding feast and the sacred act of consummation, each custom played a role in establishing and celebrating a covenant intended for life. Ultimately, these historical practices serve as a backdrop to the timeless truths of God's Word concerning marriage: that it is a holy union, designed by God for companionship, procreation, and mutual sanctification, reflecting the covenantal relationship between Christ and His church.