TRV
Translation
King James Version
Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.
Complete Jewish Bible
Don't give your strength to women or your ways to that which destroys kings.
Berean Standard Bible
Do not spend your strength on women or your vigor on those who ruin kings.
American Standard Version
Give not thy strength unto women, Nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.
World English Bible Messianic
Don’t give your strength to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings.
Young's Literal Translation
Give not to women thy strength, And thy ways to wiping away of kings.
See also
In the KJVVerse 17,288 of 31,102
Study This Verse
Commentary on Proverbs 31 verses 1–9
1 ¶ The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.
2 What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows?
3 Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.
4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink:
5 Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted.
6 Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts.
7 Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.
8 Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction.
9 Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.
Most interpreters are of opinion that Lemuel is Solomon; the name signifies one that is for God, or devoted to God; and so it agrees well enough with that honourable name which, by divine appointment, was given to Solomon (Sa2 12:25), Jedediah - beloved of the Lord. Lemuel is supposed to be a pretty, fond, endearing name, by which his mother used to call him; and so much did he value himself upon the interest he had in his mother's affections that he was not ashamed to call himself by it. One would the rather incline to think it is Solomon that here tells us what his mother taught him because he tells us (Pro 4:4) what his father taught him. But some think (and the conjecture is not improbable) that Lemuel was a prince of some neighbouring country, whose mother was a daughter of Israel, perhaps of the house of David, and taught him these good lessons. Note, 1. It is the duty of mothers, as well as fathers, to teach their children what is good, that they may do it, and what is evil, that they may avoid it; when they are young and tender they are most under the mother's eye, and she has then an opportunity of moulding and fashioning their minds well, which she ought not to let slip. 2. Even kings must be catechised; the greatest of men is less than the least of the ordinances of God. 3. Those that have grown up to maturity should often call to mind, and make mention of, the good instructions they received when they were children, for their own admonition, the edification of others, and the honour of those who were the guides of their youth.
Now, in this mother's (this queen mother's) catechism, observe,
I. Her expostulation with the young prince, by which she lays hold of him, claims an interest in him, and awakens his attention to what she is about to say (Pro 31:2): "What! my son? What shall I say to thee?" She speaks as one considering what advice to give him, and choosing out words to reason with him; so full of concern is she for his welfare! Or, What is it that thou doest? It seems to be a chiding question. She observed, when he was young, that he was too much inclined to women and wine, and therefore she found it necessary to take him to task and deal roundly with him. "What! my son? Is this the course of life thou intendest to lead? Have I taught thee no better than thus? I must reprove thee, and reprove thee sharply, and thou must take it well, for," 1. "Thou art descended from me; thou art the son of my womb, and therefore what I say comes from the authority and affection of a parent and cannot be suspected to come from any ill-will. Thou art a piece of myself. I bore thee with sorrow, and I expect no other return for all the pains I have taken with thee, and undergone for thee, than this, Be wise and good, and then I am well paid." 2. "Thou art devoted to my God; thou art the son of my vows, the son I prayed to God to give me and promised to give back to God, and did so" (thus Samuel was the son of Hannah's vows); "Thou art the son I have often prayed to God to give his grace to (Psa 72:1), and shall a child of so many prayers miscarry? And shall all my hopes concerning thee be disappointed?" Our children that by baptism are dedicated to God, for whom and in whose name we covenanted with God, may well be called the children of our vows; and, as this may be made a good plea with God in our prayers for them, so it may be made a good plea with them in the instructions we give them; we may tell them they are baptized, are the children of our vows, and it is at their peril if they break those bonds in sunder which in their infancy they were solemnly brought under.
II. The caution she gives him against those two destroying sins of uncleanness and drunkenness, which, if he allowed himself in them, would certainly be his ruin. 1. Against uncleanness (Pro 31:3): Give not thy strength unto women, unto strange women. He must not be soft and effeminate, nor spend that time in a vain conversation with the ladies which should be spent in getting knowledge and despatching business, nor employ that wit (which is the strength of the soul) in courting and complimenting them which he should employ about the affairs of his government. "Especially shun all adultery, fornication, and lasciviousness, which waste the strength of the body, and bring into it dangerous diseases. Give not thy ways, thy affections, thy conversation, to that which destroys kings, which has destroyed many, which gave such a shock to the kingdom even of David himself, in the matter of Uriah. Let the sufferings of others be thy warnings." It lessens the honour of kings and makes them mean. Are those fit to govern others that are themselves slaves to their own lusts? It makes them unfit for business, and fills their court with the basest and worst of animals. Kings lie exposed to temptations of this kind, having wherewith both to please the humours and to bear the charges of the sin, and therefore they ought to double their guard; and, if they would preserve their people from the unclean spirit, they must themselves be patterns of purity. Meaner people may also apply it to themselves. Let none give their strength to that which destroys souls. 2. Against drunkenness, Pro 31:4, Pro 31:5. He must not drink wine or strong drink to excess; he must never sit to drink, as they used to do in the day of their king, when the princes made him sick with bottles of wine, Hos 7:7. Whatever temptation he might be in from the excellency of the wine, or the charms of the company, he must deny himself, and be strictly sober, considering, (1.) The indecency of drunkenness in a king. However some may call it a fashionable accomplishment and entertainment, it is not for kings, O Lemuel! it is not for kings, to allow themselves that liberty; it is a disparagement to their dignity, and profanes their crown, by confusing the head that wears it; that which for the time unmans them does for the time unking them. Shall we say, They are gods? No, they are worse than the beasts that perish. All Christians are made to our God kings and priests, and must apply this to themselves. It is not for Christians, it is not for Christians, to drink to excess; they debase themselves if they do; it ill becomes the heirs of the kingdom and the spiritual priests, Lev 10:9. (2.) The ill consequences of it (Pro 31:5): Lest they drink away their understandings and memories, drink and forget the law by which they are to govern; and so, instead of doing good with their power, do hurt with it, and pervert or alter the judgment of all the sons of affliction, and, when they should right them, wrong them, and add to their affliction. It is a sad complaint which is made of the priests and prophets (Isa 28:7), that they have erred through wine, and through strong drink they are out of the way; and the effect is as bad in kings, who when they are drunk, or intoxicated with the love of wine, cannot but stumble in judgment. Judges must have clear heads, which those cannot have who so often make themselves giddy, and incapacitate themselves to judge of the most common things.
III. The counsel she gives him to do good. 1. He must do good with his wealth. Great men must not think that they have their abundance only that out of it they may made provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts of it, and may the more freely indulge their own genius; no, but that with it they may relieve such as are in distress, Pro 31:6, Pro 31:7. "Thou hast wine or strong drink at command; instead of doing thyself hurt with it, do others good with it; let those have it that need it." Those that have wherewithal must not only give bread to the hungry and water to the thirsty, but they must give strong drink to him that is ready to perish through sickness or pain and wine to those that are melancholy and of heavy heart; for it was appointed to cheer and revive the spirits, and make glad the heart (as it does where there is need of it), not to burden and oppress the spirits, as it does where there is no need of it. We must deny ourselves in the gratifications of sense, that we may have to spare for the relief of the miseries of others, and be glad to see our superfluities and dainties better bestowed upon those whom they will be a real kindness to than upon ourselves whom they will be a real injury to. Let those that are ready to perish drink soberly, and it will be a means so to revive their drooping spirits that they will forget their poverty for the time and remember their misery no more, and so they will be the better able to bear it. The Jews say that upon this was grounded the practice of giving a stupifying drink to condemned prisoners when they were going to execution, as they did to our Saviour. But the scope of the place is to show that wine is a cordial, and therefore to be used for want and not for wantonness, by those only that need cordials, as Timothy, who is advised to drink a little wine, only for his stomach's sake and his often infirmities, Ti1 5:23. 2. He must do good with his power, his knowledge, and interest, must administer justice with care, courage, and compassion, Pro 31:8, Pro 31:9. (1.) He must himself take cognizance of the causes his subjects have depending in his courts, and inspect what his judges and officers do, that he may support those that do their duty, and lay those aside that neglect it or are partial. (2.) He must, in all matters that come before him, judge righteously, and, without fear of the face of man, boldly pass sentence according to equity: Open thy mouth, which denotes the liberty of speech that princes and judges ought to use in passing sentence. Some observe that only wise men open their mouths, for fools have their mouths always open, are full of words. (3.) He must especially look upon himself as obliged to be the patron of oppressed innocency. The inferior magistrates perhaps had not zeal and tenderness enough to plead the cause of the poor and needy; therefore the king himself must interpose, and appear as an advocate, [1.] For those that were unjustly charged with capital crimes, as Naboth was, that were appointed to destruction, to gratify the malice either of a particular person or of a party. It is a case which it well befits a king to appear in, for the preserving of innocent blood. [2.] For those that had actions unjustly brought against them, to defraud them of their right, because they were poor and needy, and unable to defend it, not having wherewithal to fee counsel; in such a case also kings must be advocates for the poor. Especially, [3.] For those that were dumb, and knew not how to speak for themselves, either through weakness or fear, or being over-talked by the prosecutor or over-awed by the court. It is generous to speak for those that cannot speak for themselves, that are absent, or have not words at command, or are timorous. Our law appoints the judge to be of counsel for the prisoner.
Matthew Henry (1662–1714) — Commentary on the Whole Bible. This section covers verses 1–9. Public domain.
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BedeAD 735
Commentary on Proverbs
And your riches to destroy kings. He gives his riches to destroy kings, who corrupts the hearts of men with earthly delights, so that they do not seek the heavenly goods, in which they can reign perpetually with Christ. For kings are destroyed by riches, when anyone joined to the body of the highest King through faith, nonetheless deserves to be eradicated from the land of the living by the allurements of the world. Do not give wine to kings, O Lemuel, do not give wine to kings. And the following things are clear according to the letter. But allegorically it commands not to intoxicate the minds of the faithful, who are members of the eternal King, with wine in which there is luxury; because there is no secret where drunkenness reigns; nothing about secrets is considered where carnal pleasure reigns; but only carnal things, which are visible, are scrutinized.
BedeAD 735
Commentary on Proverbs
Do not give your substance to women. The sense of the letter is clear, but we are also forbidden to contaminate the substance of our virtues with the corruptions of vices.
Source: Quotations drawn from early Church Fathers and historical Christian theologians (AD 100–1500). Some quotes address the surrounding passage context rather than this verse alone.
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SUMMARY
Proverbs 31:3, a foundational piece of counsel from a queen mother to her son, King Lemuel, issues a solemn warning against the perils of moral compromise, particularly for those in positions of power. It cautions against squandering one's vital resources—physical, moral, and spiritual strength—on illicit relationships and destructive behaviors that historically lead to the downfall of leaders and the ruin of kingdoms. This verse underscores the critical link between a ruler's personal integrity and the stability of his reign, advocating for self-control and discernment as pillars of effective and righteous leadership, ultimately safeguarding the king's capacity to govern justly.
CONTEXT
Literary Context: This verse is situated at the very beginning of the final chapter of the Book of Proverbs, introduced as "the words of King Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him" in Proverbs 31:1. This framing immediately establishes the unique nature of this section: wisdom imparted directly from a queen mother to her royal son. Unlike much of Proverbs, which often presents general wisdom, this passage is tailored specifically for a king, addressing the unique temptations and responsibilities of leadership. The verses immediately preceding and following this counsel (e.g., Proverbs 31:4-5) continue to warn against vices that corrupt judgment and leadership, such as excessive drinking and perversion of justice. The chapter then famously transitions into the acrostic poem describing the "virtuous woman" or "woman of valor" in Proverbs 31:10-31, creating a profound contrast between the destructive "women" warned against in verse 3 and the edifying, life-giving influence of a righteous wife, thereby highlighting the importance of discernment in relationships.
Historical & Cultural Context: In ancient Near Eastern monarchies, the king's moral character was often seen as intrinsically linked to the well-being and prosperity of his kingdom. A king's personal vices, particularly sexual promiscuity, were not merely private failings but could have profound public consequences, including political instability, divine disfavor, and even dynastic collapse. While royal harems were common, the counsel here warns against the abuse of such power, specifically against allowing lust or entanglement with immoral women to compromise judgment, drain resources, and divert attention from kingly duties. The phrase "that which destroyeth kings" alludes to numerous historical examples, both within and outside biblical narratives, where rulers fell due to indulgence in various vices, including idolatry, drunkenness, and sexual immorality, which were often intertwined. The queen mother's advice reflects a deep understanding of the pressures and temptations inherent in royal power and the devastating impact of personal moral failure on national stability.
Key Themes: Proverbs 31:3 contributes significantly to several overarching themes in the book of Proverbs and biblical wisdom literature. Firstly, it emphasizes the indispensable nature of self-control and discipline, particularly for those in authority, highlighting that personal integrity is foundational to effective leadership. Secondly, it explores the theme of the dangers of sexual immorality, a recurring warning throughout Proverbs (e.g., Proverbs 5, Proverbs 7), which consistently portrays it as a path to ruin and a snare for the foolish. Thirdly, the verse underscores the connection between personal morality and public welfare, demonstrating that a leader's choices have far-reaching implications for his people and the stability of his reign, as seen in the broader wisdom tradition. Finally, it reinforces the broader theme of wisdom versus folly, presenting a clear choice between a path of disciplined righteousness that preserves strength and a path of self-indulgence that leads to destruction, aligning with the call to choose the "way of wisdom" as presented in Proverbs 4:10-19.
EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS
Key Word Analysis
Verse Breakdown
Literary Devices
The verse employs several potent literary devices to convey its urgent message with memorable force. Parallelism is evident in the two clauses, where "thy strength unto women" is paralleled by "nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings," creating a balanced yet escalating warning. The first clause specifies a common, particularly insidious pitfall, while the second generalizes it to any destructive influence, thereby amplifying the scope of the warning. Metonymy is present in "strength" and "ways," which stand for the king's entire being, his resources, and his moral compass, representing the totality of his capacity to rule. Similarly, "women" likely functions as a metonymy for promiscuity or immoral sexual relationships and their associated entanglements, rather than women in general. The phrase "that which destroyeth kings" is a form of generalization or euphemism, referring to a host of vices without explicitly naming them, allowing the audience to infer the full scope of destructive behaviors from historical examples and common knowledge. The strong verb "destroyeth" serves as a form of emphasis or hyperbole, highlighting the absolute and devastating consequences of succumbing to these temptations, particularly for those in positions of ultimate authority, underscoring the irreversible nature of such ruin.
THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
Proverbs 31:3 profoundly connects the personal integrity of a leader to the well-being of his people and his standing before God. The theological implication is that God, who establishes kings and holds them accountable, expects righteousness and self-control from those He entrusts with authority. The warnings against sexual immorality and other vices are not merely pragmatic advice for effective governance but reflect a divine standard of holiness and purity. Such behaviors are an affront to God's design for human relationships and leadership, leading to spiritual decay, a loss of divine favor, and ultimately, a breakdown of justice and order within the kingdom. The verse thus serves as a timeless reminder that true power and lasting influence are rooted in moral uprightness and adherence to God's ways, not in unchecked indulgence or worldly pursuits.
REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Proverbs 31:3 transcends its original royal context to offer a universal warning for every individual, regardless of their station in life. It challenges us to critically examine where we invest our most precious resources: our time, energy, finances, emotional well-being, and moral integrity. Are we "giving our strength" to pursuits, relationships, or habits that ultimately drain us, compromise our values, and lead us away from our God-given purpose? This verse calls for radical self-awareness and discipline, urging us to identify and sever ties with "that which destroyeth"—whether it be addiction, unhealthy relationships, excessive consumption, unbridled ambition, or any activity that diminishes our capacity to live a life honoring to God and beneficial to others. It is a powerful call to guard our hearts and minds, recognizing that every choice we make has profound consequences, not only for ourselves but also for those we influence and for our testimony in the world.
Questions for Reflection
FAQ
Does "women" in this verse mean all women are dangerous, or is it more specific?
Answer: The warning in Proverbs 31:3 is not a blanket condemnation of women in general, nor does it imply that all women are inherently dangerous. Rather, it specifically cautions against entanglement with "immoral" or "strange" women (as often described elsewhere in Proverbs, e.g., Proverbs 2:16-19, Proverbs 7:5-27), or against succumbing to promiscuity and lust. For a king, this would include the dangers of allowing a harem or illicit affairs to drain his resources, distract him from his duties, compromise his judgment, and lead him into idolatry or other sins that historically brought down rulers. The very next section of the chapter, Proverbs 31:10-31, extols the virtues of a righteous and capable woman, demonstrating that the issue is not womanhood itself, but destructive relationships and sexual sin that undermine wisdom and integrity.
CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
While Proverbs 31:3 offers a pragmatic warning to an earthly king, its deeper spiritual fulfillment is found in the person and work of Jesus Christ, the ultimate King. Unlike earthly rulers who often succumbed to the very temptations warned against, Jesus perfectly embodied the opposite. He never "gave His strength unto women" in any illicit sense, nor did He allow His "ways" to be corrupted by anything that "destroyeth kings." Instead, He perfectly guarded His strength and directed His ways toward fulfilling the Father's will, even to the point of death on the cross. His strength was not squandered on self-indulgence but poured out in selfless service and sacrifice for His people, demonstrating the purest form of righteous leadership. He is the King of kings and Lord of lords, whose reign is eternal and incorruptible because His character is pure and His ways are righteous. Believers, called to be imitators of Christ (Ephesians 5:1-2), find in Him the power to resist the very temptations that destroy. Through the indwelling Holy Spirit, we are empowered to "flee sexual immorality" (1 Corinthians 6:18) and to walk in "newness of life" (Romans 6:4), no longer yielding our members to sin but to righteousness (Romans 6:13). Thus, Christ not only fulfills the ideal of the wise king but also enables His followers to live out the wisdom of Proverbs 31:3 by His grace and transforming power.