Proverbs 31:3

KJV

Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.

KJV (with Strong's)

Give {H5414} not thy strength {H2428} unto women {H802}, nor thy ways {H1870} to that which destroyeth {H4229} kings {H4428}.

Complete Jewish Bible

Don't give your strength to women or your ways to that which destroys kings.

Berean Standard Bible

Do not spend your strength on women or your vigor on those who ruin kings.

American Standard Version

Give not thy strength unto women, Nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.

Commentary

### SUMMARY
Proverbs 31:3, a foundational piece of counsel from a queen mother to her son, King Lemuel, issues a solemn warning against the perils of moral compromise, particularly for those in positions of power. It cautions against squandering one's vital resources—physical, moral, and spiritual strength—on illicit relationships and destructive behaviors that historically lead to the downfall of leaders and the ruin of kingdoms. This verse underscores the critical link between a ruler's personal integrity and the stability of his reign, advocating for self-control and discernment as pillars of effective and righteous leadership.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** This verse is situated at the very beginning of the final chapter of the Book of Proverbs, introduced as "the words of King Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him" ([Proverbs 31:1](/proverbs/31-1 "Proverbs 31:1 - The Words of King Lemuel's Mother")). This framing immediately establishes the unique nature of this section: wisdom imparted directly from a queen mother to her royal son. Unlike much of Proverbs, which often presents general wisdom, this passage is tailored specifically for a king, addressing the unique temptations and responsibilities of leadership. The verses immediately preceding and following this counsel (e.g., [Proverbs 31:4-5](/proverbs/31-4 "Proverbs 31:4-5 - Warning Against Wine and Strong Drink")) continue to warn against vices that corrupt judgment and leadership, such as excessive drinking. The chapter then famously transitions into the acrostic poem describing the "virtuous woman" or "woman of valor" ([Proverbs 31:10-31](/proverbs/31-10 "Proverbs 31:10-31 - The Woman of Valor")), creating a stark contrast between the destructive "women" warned against in verse 3 and the edifying, life-giving influence of a righteous wife.
* **Historical & Cultural Context:** In ancient Near Eastern monarchies, the king's moral character was often seen as intrinsically linked to the well-being and prosperity of his kingdom. A king's personal vices, particularly sexual promiscuity, were not merely private failings but could have profound public consequences, including political instability, divine disfavor, and even dynastic collapse. Harems were common among kings, but the counsel here warns against the *abuse* of such power, specifically against allowing lust or entanglement with immoral women to compromise judgment, drain resources, and divert attention from kingly duties. The phrase "that which destroyeth kings" alludes to numerous historical examples, both within and outside biblical narratives, where rulers fell due to indulgence in various vices, including idolatry, drunkenness, and sexual immorality, which were often intertwined. The mother's advice reflects a deep understanding of the pressures and temptations inherent in royal power.
* **Key Themes:** Proverbs 31:3 contributes significantly to several overarching themes in the book of Proverbs and biblical wisdom literature. Firstly, it emphasizes **the indispensable nature of self-control and discipline**, particularly for those in authority, highlighting that personal integrity is foundational to effective leadership. Secondly, it explores the theme of **the dangers of sexual immorality**, a recurring warning throughout Proverbs (e.g., [Proverbs 5](/proverbs/5 "Proverbs 5 - The Dangers of Immorality"), [Proverbs 7](/proverbs/7 "Proverbs 7 - The Allure of the Adulteress")), which consistently portrays it as a path to ruin. Thirdly, the verse underscores the **connection between personal morality and public welfare**, demonstrating that a leader's choices have far-reaching implications for his people. Finally, it reinforces the broader theme of **wisdom versus folly**, presenting a clear choice between a path of disciplined righteousness that preserves strength and a path of self-indulgence that leads to destruction.

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS
#### Key Word Analysis
* **Strength (Hebrew, _chayil'_):** This word is rich in meaning, encompassing not only physical might but also wealth, resources, moral power, military prowess, and even virtue or valor. In the context of a king, "strength" refers to his entire capacity to rule effectively: his physical vitality, financial resources, mental acuity, moral authority, and the respect he commands. Giving away one's *chayil* implies a squandering of all these vital assets, rendering a leader ineffective and vulnerable.
* **Ways (Hebrew, _derek'_):** Derived from a root meaning "to tread" or "a road," *derek* figuratively denotes a course of life, a mode of action, or one's conduct. It refers to the path one walks, encompassing one's habits, decisions, and overall lifestyle. To give one's "ways" to something implies surrendering one's direction, character, and moral trajectory to a destructive influence.
* **Destroyeth (Hebrew, _mâchâh'_):** This primitive root means "to stroke or rub," and by implication, "to erase," "blot out," or "abolish." When applied to kings, it signifies utter ruin, obliteration, or complete downfall. It's not merely a weakening but a wiping out of their reign, reputation, or even their very existence as a ruler. The active participle here emphasizes the ongoing, destructive nature of the influence.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"Give not thy strength unto women":** This clause warns against allowing one's vital resources—physical energy, mental focus, emotional stability, financial assets, and moral integrity—to be depleted or compromised by illicit or unwise relationships with women. While not a blanket condemnation of women, it specifically targets promiscuity, entanglement with immoral women, or allowing lust to dominate one's life, which can drain a leader of the very "strength" (chayil) needed for governance and righteous living.
* **"nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings."**: This second clause broadens the warning. "Thy ways" refers to one's conduct, character, and life's trajectory. "That which destroyeth kings" is a comprehensive phrase encompassing any vice or corrupting influence that has historically led to the ruin of rulers. This includes, but is not limited to, sexual immorality, excessive drinking, idolatry, greed, and abuse of power. The parallelism suggests that the "women" in the first clause are a primary example of "that which destroyeth kings," but the second clause extends the caution to all such ruinous behaviors.

#### Literary Devices
The verse employs several potent literary devices to convey its urgent message. **Parallelism** is evident in the two clauses, where "thy strength unto women" is paralleled by "thy ways to that which destroyeth kings," creating a balanced yet escalating warning. The first clause specifies a common pitfall, while the second generalizes it to any destructive influence. **Metonymy** is present in "strength" and "ways," which stand for the king's entire being, his resources, and his moral compass. Similarly, "women" likely functions as a metonymy for promiscuity or immoral sexual relationships, rather than women in general. The phrase "that which destroyeth kings" is a form of **euphemism** or **generalization**, referring to a host of vices without explicitly naming them, allowing the audience to infer the full scope of destructive behaviors. The strong verb "destroyeth" serves as a form of **hyperbole** or **emphasis**, highlighting the absolute and devastating consequences of succumbing to these temptations, particularly for those in positions of ultimate authority.

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
Proverbs 31:3 profoundly connects the personal integrity of a leader to the well-being of his people and his standing before God. The theological implication is that God, who establishes kings and holds them accountable, expects righteousness and self-control from those He entrusts with authority. The warnings against sexual immorality and other vices are not merely pragmatic advice for effective governance but reflect a divine standard of holiness and purity. Such behaviors are an affront to God's design for human relationships and leadership, leading to spiritual decay and a loss of divine favor. The verse thus serves as a timeless reminder that true power and lasting influence are rooted in moral uprightness, not in unchecked indulgence.

* [1 Kings 11:1-8](/1_kings/11-1 "1 Kings 11:1-8 - Solomon's Idolatry and Decline")
* [2 Samuel 11:1-17](/2_samuel/11-1 "2 Samuel 11:1-17 - David's Sin with Bathsheba")
* [1 Corinthians 6:18-20](/1_corinthians/6-18 "1 Corinthians 6:18-20 - Flee Sexual Immorality")

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Proverbs 31:3 transcends its original royal context to offer a universal warning for every individual, regardless of their station in life. It challenges us to critically examine where we invest our most precious resources: our time, energy, finances, and moral integrity. Are we "giving our strength" to pursuits, relationships, or habits that ultimately drain us, compromise our values, and lead us away from our purpose? This verse calls for radical self-awareness and discipline, urging us to identify and sever ties with "that which destroyeth"—whether it be addiction, unhealthy relationships, excessive consumption, or any activity that diminishes our capacity to live a life honoring to God and beneficial to others. It is a powerful call to guard our hearts and minds, recognizing that every choice we make has consequences, not only for ourselves but also for those we influence.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **What "strengths" (time, energy, resources, moral integrity) am I potentially "giving away" to destructive influences in my life?**
* **What "ways" or habits do I have that might be subtly or overtly "destroying" my spiritual vitality, relationships, or purpose?**
* **How does this verse challenge my understanding of self-control and personal responsibility in a world often promoting indulgence?**
* **In what areas of my life do I need to establish clearer boundaries to protect my "strength" and "ways" from harmful influences?**

### FAQ
**Does "women" in this verse mean all women are dangerous, or is it more specific?**

Answer: The warning in [Proverbs 31:3](/proverbs/31-3 "Proverbs 31:3 - Warning Against Destructive Influences") is not a blanket condemnation of women in general. Rather, it specifically cautions against entanglement with "immoral" or "strange" women (as often described elsewhere in Proverbs, e.g., [Proverbs 2:16-19](/proverbs/2-16 "Proverbs 2:16-19 - The Allure of the Adulteress"), [Proverbs 7:5-27](/proverbs/7-5 "Proverbs 7:5-27 - The Deceptive Woman")), or against succumbing to promiscuity and lust. For a king, this would include the dangers of allowing a harem or illicit affairs to drain his resources, distract him from his duties, compromise his judgment, and lead him into idolatry or other sins. The very next section of the chapter, [Proverbs 31:10-31](/proverbs/31-10 "Proverbs 31:10-31 - The Virtuous Woman"), extols the virtues of a righteous and capable woman, demonstrating that the issue is not womanhood itself, but destructive relationships and sexual sin.

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
While Proverbs 31:3 offers a pragmatic warning to an earthly king, its deeper spiritual fulfillment is found in the person and work of Jesus Christ, the ultimate King. Unlike earthly rulers who often succumbed to the very temptations warned against, Jesus perfectly embodied the opposite. He never "gave His strength unto women" in any illicit sense, nor did He allow His "ways" to be corrupted by anything that "destroyeth kings." Instead, He perfectly guarded His strength and directed His ways toward fulfilling the Father's will, even to the point of death on the cross. His strength was not squandered on self-indulgence but poured out in selfless service and sacrifice for His people. He is the [King of kings and Lord of lords](/revelation/19-16 "Revelation 19:16 - King of Kings"), whose reign is eternal and incorruptible because His character is pure and His ways are righteous. Believers, called to be imitators of Christ ([Ephesians 5:1-2](/ephesians/5-1 "Ephesians 5:1-2 - Imitators of God")), find in Him the power to resist the very temptations that destroy. Through the indwelling Holy Spirit, we are empowered to "flee sexual immorality" ([1 Corinthians 6:18](/1_corinthians/6-18 "1 Corinthians 6:18 - Flee Sexual Immorality")) and to walk in "newness of life" ([Romans 6:4](/romans/6-4 "Romans 6:4 - Newness of Life")), no longer yielding our members to sin but to righteousness ([Romans 6:13](/romans/6-13 "Romans 6:13 - Instruments of Righteousness")). Thus, Christ not only fulfills the ideal of the wise king but also enables His followers to live out the wisdom of Proverbs 31:3 by His grace and power.

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.

Cross-References

Nehemiah 13:26

Did not Solomon king of Israel sin by these things? yet among many nations was there no king like him, who was beloved of his God, and God made him king over all Israel: nevertheless even him did outlandish women cause to sin.

Deuteronomy 17:17

Neither shall he multiply wives to himself, that his heart turn not away: neither shall he greatly multiply to himself silver and gold.

Proverbs 7:26

For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong [men] have been slain by her.

Proverbs 7:27

Her house [is] the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death.

Proverbs 5:9

Lest thou give thine honour unto others, and thy years unto the cruel:

Proverbs 5:11

And thou mourn at the last, when thy flesh and thy body are consumed,

1 Kings 11:1

¶ But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, [and] Hittites;