Job 4:2

KJV

[If] we assay to commune with thee, wilt thou be grieved? but who can withhold himself from speaking?

KJV (with Strong's)

If we assay {H5254} to commune {H1697} with thee, wilt thou be grieved {H3811}? but who can {H3201} withhold {H6113} himself from speaking {H4405}?

Complete Jewish Bible

"If one tries to speak to you, will you mind? Yet who could keep from speaking?

Berean Standard Bible

“If one ventures a word with you, will you be wearied? Yet who can keep from speaking?

American Standard Version

If one assay to commune with thee, wilt thou be grieved? But who can withhold himself from speaking?

Commentary

### SUMMARY
Job 4:2 marks the pivotal transition from Job's profound lament to the beginning of the extended, circular dialogue between Job and his three friends. It introduces Eliphaz the Temanite, who, after seven days of silence, initiates his speech with a rhetorical question that simultaneously feigns politeness and asserts an undeniable, self-justifying compulsion to speak. This verse masterfully sets the stage for the ensuing exchanges, immediately highlighting the tension between offering genuine comfort to the afflicted and delivering what one perceives as necessary, albeit potentially painful, truth, thus establishing the argumentative framework for the entire book's central conflict.

### CONTEXT
* **Literary Context:** This verse immediately follows [Job's raw and deeply emotional lament in Job 3](/job/3 "Job 3 - Job's Lament"), where he curses the day of his birth and expresses a profound desire for death as an escape from his unbearable suffering. After the initial seven days and nights of silent companionship, a period of shared mourning described in [Job 2:13](/job/2-13 "Job 2:13 - Job's Friends Sit in Silence"), Eliphaz breaks the profound quietude. His opening words serve as a cautious, yet ultimately self-serving, introduction to his argument. He positions himself as one who is about to offer crucial counsel, implying that his forthcoming words are both vital and weighty, even if they might cause further distress to Job. This verse thus marks the formal commencement of the "dialogue" section of the book, where each friend, in turn, attempts to explain Job's suffering based on conventional wisdom and theological assumptions, before Job offers his counter-arguments.
* **Historical & Cultural Context:** In the ancient Near East, the act of visiting and offering counsel to a suffering friend was considered a significant social and religious obligation. Wisdom literature, a prominent genre across the region, frequently emphasized the importance of discerning speech, the proper timing for words, and the dangers of ill-considered pronouncements. Friends visiting the afflicted were expected to offer both comfort and empathy, but also, in many cultural contexts, to provide explanations for misfortune, which were often directly linked to divine retribution for sin or a breach of covenant. Eliphaz, identified as a "Temanite," likely hailed from a region renowned for its wisdom (cf. [Jeremiah 49:7](/jeremiah/49-7 "Jeremiah 49:7 - Wisdom of Teman")). His approach in [Job 4](/job/4 "Job 4 - Eliphaz's First Speech") reflects a pervasive cultural assumption that suffering is a direct consequence of sin, and that wise counsel involves diagnosing the sin and prescribing repentance. This deeply ingrained cultural framework profoundly shapes the friends' arguments and their inability to truly empathize with Job's unique situation throughout the book.
* **Key Themes:** Job 4:2 immediately introduces several key themes that will reverberate throughout the entire book. The most prominent is **The Compulsion to Speak**, as Eliphaz expresses an irresistible urge to articulate his thoughts, suggesting that remaining silent would be unbearable. This highlights a common human tendency to offer explanations or advice when confronted with suffering, often driven by discomfort with silence, a perceived duty to "fix" the problem, or an inability to tolerate ambiguity. Closely related is **The Nature of Counsel**, as the verse instantly establishes the complex dynamic of giving counsel to someone in profound pain. Eliphaz's opening implies a superficial concern for Job's feelings ("wilt thou be grieved?"), but this is swiftly overshadowed by his own perceived necessity to speak, foreshadowing the flawed and ultimately unhelpful counsel that he and his friends will offer, for which they would later receive [divine rebuke in Job 42:7](/job/42-7 "Job 42:7 - God Rebukes Job's Friends"). The verse also subtly touches on **The Burden of Silence**, presenting the act of holding back words as an impossibility for Eliphaz, reflecting a conviction that truth, as he perceives it, must be articulated, especially in the face of what he considers Job's misguided lament and implicit accusations against God.

### EXPOSITION AND ANALYSIS

#### Key Word Analysis
* **Assay (Hebrew, _nâçâh'_):** From the primitive root `nâçâh`, meaning "to test," "to try," or "to prove." In this context, Eliphaz's "assay" suggests a cautious, almost tentative approach, as if testing the waters or attempting to gauge Job's receptiveness before delivering his full message. It implies a preliminary, perhaps polite, inquiry into Job's emotional state, even as the subsequent clause negates the sincerity of this politeness.
* **Grieved (Hebrew, _lâʼâh'_):** A primitive root meaning "to tire," and figuratively "to be (or make) disgusted," "faint," "loathe," or "be weary." Eliphaz's question, "wilt thou be grieved?", asks if his words will cause Job further anguish, impatience, or emotional exhaustion. It acknowledges Job's already fragile and distressed state, yet ultimately prioritizes Eliphaz's own perceived duty to speak over Job's potential for increased suffering.
* **Withhold (Hebrew, _ʻâtsâr'_):** A primitive root meaning "to inclose," and by analogy, "to hold back," "restrain," "detain," or "shut up." This word powerfully conveys Eliphaz's inner compulsion. The rhetorical question "who can withhold himself from speaking?" emphasizes that the pressure to speak is so overwhelming for him that it is virtually impossible to remain silent. It shifts the focus from Job's potential discomfort to Eliphaz's own irresistible urge to deliver his message.

#### Verse Breakdown
* **"[If] we assay to commune with thee, wilt thou be grieved?":** This opening clause is framed as a rhetorical question, seemingly a polite and empathetic inquiry into Job's emotional state. Eliphaz appears to be asking for permission to speak, indicating a superficial concern for Job's feelings. However, the very nature of a rhetorical question often suggests that the speaker already knows, or presumes, the answer. It establishes a facade of sensitivity, perhaps a cultural norm for initiating a difficult conversation, but its true sincerity is immediately undercut by the subsequent clause.
* **"but who can withhold himself from speaking?":** This second clause dramatically shifts the tone from feigned politeness to a direct assertion of necessity. The conjunctive "but" (or "and" in some translations) marks a strong contrast, moving Eliphaz from considering Job's potential grief to justifying his own inability to remain silent. This is not a request for permission but a forceful declaration of an irresistible compulsion. It implies that what he has to say is so vital, so urgent, that it must be uttered, regardless of Job's emotional state. This reveals Eliphaz's primary motivation: not Job's comfort, but his own perceived duty to speak what he believes to be true.

#### Literary Devices
Eliphaz's opening statement masterfully employs several **literary devices** to establish his rhetorical position. The most prominent device is the **Rhetorical Question**, used twice within the verse. The first, "wilt thou be grieved?", is posed not for an actual answer, but to imply a certain sensitivity or consideration on Eliphaz's part, though its sincerity is debatable given the context. The second, "who can withhold himself from speaking?", is also a rhetorical question, but it functions as a forceful declaration of an undeniable truth from the speaker's perspective, emphasizing his irresistible compulsion to speak. This dual use of rhetorical questions creates a strong sense of **Antithesis** within the verse: the polite, almost deferential inquiry in the first half is directly contrasted with the assertive, self-justifying declaration in the second. This juxtaposition highlights the inherent tension between Eliphaz's outward show of concern and his inner conviction that he *must* speak. Furthermore, there is a subtle layer of **Irony** at play; while Eliphaz asks if Job will be "grieved," his subsequent words throughout the book will indeed cause Job profound grief, frustration, and a sense of being misunderstood, thus demonstrating the ultimate inadequacy and insensitivity of his "comfort."

### THEOLOGICAL AND THEMATIC CONNECTIONS
Job 4:2, as the opening salvo of Eliphaz, immediately thrusts the reader into the profound theological tension that defines the book of Job: the conflict between conventional human wisdom and the inscrutable ways of God. Eliphaz's compulsion to speak, rooted in his understanding of divine justice (that suffering is a direct consequence of sin), reflects a common human tendency to impose simplistic explanations on complex realities, especially when confronted with suffering that defies easy categorization. This verse highlights the profound danger of speaking *for* God or *about* God without true understanding or divine revelation, a theme God Himself will later address (cf. [Job 42:7](/job/42-7 "Job 42:7 - God Rebukes Job's Friends")). It also underscores the inherent limitations of human counsel in the face of profound mystery and the potential for even well-intentioned words to inflict further pain rather than provide genuine comfort or solace. The verse implicitly challenges the reader to consider the source and motivation of their own words when engaging with the suffering of others.

* [Proverbs 18:13](/proverbs/18-13 "Proverbs 18:13 - Answering Before Hearing"): "He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him." This proverb directly contrasts with Eliphaz's immediate and insistent compulsion to speak before fully understanding the depth of Job's lament or the true nature of his suffering.
* [James 1:19](/james/1-19 "James 1:19 - Be Quick to Listen, Slow to Speak"): "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath." This New Testament admonition offers a direct counter-principle to Eliphaz's immediate and insistent need to speak, emphasizing the spiritual discipline of patient listening.
* [Romans 12:15](/romans/12-15 "Romans 12:15 - Weep with Those Who Weep"): "Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep." This verse emphasizes empathetic solidarity and shared emotional experience, a quality largely absent in Eliphaz's subsequent counsel, which prioritizes correction and theological pronouncements over compassionate presence.

### REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
Eliphaz's opening in Job 4:2 serves as a poignant and enduring reminder of the challenges and inherent pitfalls in offering counsel and comfort to those in deep distress. While the impulse to speak, to offer solutions, or to explain suffering is often strong within us, this verse subtly warns against prioritizing our own need to articulate over the true, often unspoken, needs of the suffering individual. It challenges us to cultivate a posture of profound humility and active, empathetic listening, recognizing that true solace often begins with compassionate presence and patient silence, rather than immediate advice or judgment. Before we "assay to commune," we are called to genuinely consider whether our words will bring further grief or genuine, Christ-like solace. The wisdom of God often calls for us to be "swift to hear, slow to speak" ([James 1:19](/james/1-19 "James 1:19 - Be Quick to Listen, Slow to Speak")), understanding that some suffering defies human explanation and requires a reliance on divine grace and mystery rather than human pronouncements. Our words, when offered, should always aim to build up, console, and reflect the boundless love of Christ, rather than merely satisfying our own need to provide answers or assert our understanding.

#### Questions for Reflection
* **When faced with someone else's suffering, do I feel a compulsion to speak, or am I able to sit in empathetic silence and simply be present?**
* **What are my underlying motivations when I offer advice or comfort to someone in pain? Am I genuinely seeking their well-being, or am I trying to alleviate my own discomfort or demonstrate my wisdom?**
* **How can I cultivate a greater capacity for active listening and compassionate presence, even when I don't have immediate answers or solutions to offer?**
* **In what situations might my "truth-telling" cause more grief than genuine comfort, and how can I discern when silence, prayer, or a different approach is more appropriate and loving?**

### FAQ

**Was Eliphaz's opening question, "wilt thou be grieved?", a sincere expression of concern?**

Answer: While on the surface it appears to be a polite inquiry, the subsequent phrase "but who can withhold himself from speaking?" strongly suggests that Eliphaz's concern for Job's grief was secondary to his own irresistible compulsion to speak. It functions more as a rhetorical softening, a cultural courtesy designed to open a conversation, rather than a deep, empathetic consideration of Job's emotional state. His words quickly move from this feigned politeness to a self-justification for delivering what he perceives as necessary, albeit difficult, counsel. The overall trajectory of his speeches throughout [the book of Job](/job/1 "The Book of Job") confirms that his primary aim was to correct Job's perceived errors and defend a rigid theological framework, not merely to console him.

**What does this verse teach us about offering comfort to others?**

Answer: Job 4:2 offers a profound cautionary lesson about the nature of counsel and comfort. It highlights the human tendency to prioritize our own need to speak, explain, or impose our understanding over the genuine, often complex, needs of the suffering individual. The verse implicitly teaches that true comfort often requires more than just words; it demands empathy, patient listening, and a willingness to sit with someone in their pain without immediately offering solutions or judgments. It warns against the danger of speaking out of a sense of obligation, perceived wisdom, or discomfort with silence, rather than out of genuine compassion. As [the book of Job](/job/1 "The Book of Job") progresses, it becomes abundantly clear that the friends' words, despite their initial good intentions, ultimately added to Job's suffering because they failed to truly understand his unique situation and spoke presumptuously about God's ways (cf. [Job 42:7](/job/42-7 "Job 42:7 - God Rebukes Job's Friends")).

### CHRIST-CENTERED FULFILLMENT
Eliphaz's compulsion to speak, driven by a flawed human understanding of divine justice and a need to impose order on suffering, stands in stark contrast to the perfect wisdom and compassionate presence of Jesus Christ. While Eliphaz's words ultimately brought more grief and misunderstanding to Job, Christ's words are "spirit and life" ([John 6:63](/john/6-63 "John 6:63 - Words of Spirit and Life")), bringing true comfort, profound understanding, and eternal hope. Unlike Eliphaz, who felt he could not withhold himself from speaking, Jesus often chose strategic silence, particularly in the face of accusation and suffering, fulfilling prophecies like [Isaiah 53:7](/isaiah/53-7 "Isaiah 53:7 - He Was Oppressed and Afflicted, Yet He Opened Not His Mouth") and demonstrating His perfect submission, as recounted in [1 Peter 2:23](/1_peter/2-23 "1 Peter 2:23 - Christ's Example of Suffering")). When He did speak, it was with perfect empathy, divine authority, and redemptive purpose, not to condemn but to heal, to reveal the Father's heart, and to offer rest to the weary and burdened ([Matthew 11:28](/matthew/11-28 "Matthew 11:28 - Come to Me, All Who Are Weary")). Jesus, the [Word made flesh](/john/1-14 "John 1:14 - The Word Became Flesh"), perfectly embodies divine wisdom and compassion, providing the ultimate answer to human suffering not through human explanation or judgment, but through His own redemptive sacrifice on the cross and the indwelling presence of the [Holy Spirit as our Comforter](/john/14-26 "John 14:26 - The Holy Spirit, the Comforter"). He is our great High Priest who can truly sympathize with our weaknesses, having been tempted in every way, yet without sin, enabling us to draw near to the throne of grace with confidence ([Hebrews 4:15](/hebrews/4-15 "Hebrews 4:15 - Our Sympathetic High Priest")).

Note: Commentary is generated by AI with a directive for Biblical fidelity. Always rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment. The Scripture text and cross-references are from verified, non-AI sources.

Cross-References

Job 32:18

For I am full of matter, the spirit within me constraineth me.

Job 32:20

I will speak, that I may be refreshed: I will open my lips and answer.

Acts 4:20

For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard.

Jeremiah 6:11

Therefore I am full of the fury of the LORD; I am weary with holding in: I will pour it out upon the children abroad, and upon the assembly of young men together: for even the husband with the wife shall be taken, the aged with [him that is] full of days.

2 Corinthians 2:4

For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote unto you with many tears; not that ye should be grieved, but that ye might know the love which I have more abundantly unto you.

2 Corinthians 2:6

Sufficient to such a man [is] this punishment, which [was inflicted] of many.

2 Corinthians 7:8

For though I made you sorry with a letter, I do not repent, though I did repent: for I perceive that the same epistle hath made you sorry, though [it were] but for a season.