The Divine Institution of Marriage
Marriage, in the Biblical view, is not merely a social construct or a human tradition; it is a divine institution, ordained by God Himself at the dawn of creation. Its origin is found in the foundational chapters of Genesis, long before any government or cultural norm existed. God, in His infinite wisdom and love, declared His intention for humanity's relational well-being, stating, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." (Genesis 2:18) This profound statement underscores God's design for companionship and mutual support. He did not create multiple partners, but one woman from the man's side, signifying an intrinsic unity and equality in their distinct roles.
And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
This passage establishes the foundational principles of marriage: leaving, cleaving, and becoming one flesh. Jesus Christ Himself affirmed this original design when questioned about divorce, reiterating that God made them male and female from the beginning and that the "one flesh" union is God's doing, not man's (Matthew 19:4-6). Thus, the Biblical definition of marriage is unequivocally a lifelong covenant union between one man and one woman.
The Purpose and Covenant of Marriage
Beyond companionship, the Bible reveals several purposes for marriage, all rooted in God's benevolent plan. Firstly, it is for procreation and the continuation of humanity. God's first command to the newly created couple was, "Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it." (Genesis 1:28) Children are a heritage from the Lord (Psalms 127:3), and marriage provides the divinely ordained context for raising them in a godly environment.
Secondly, marriage is designed for mutual help and intimacy. The concept of a "help meet" (Genesis 2:18) signifies a partner who completes, supports, and assists. This includes emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy. The Song of Solomon beautifully illustrates the romantic and exclusive nature of marital love and desire. The Apostle Paul encourages spouses not to defraud one another of physical intimacy, recognizing its importance within the marital bond (1 Corinthians 7:5).
Most profoundly, marriage serves as a magnificent reflection of Christ's relationship with His Church. The Apostle Paul dedicates significant teaching to this mystery in Ephesians 5. The husband's love for his wife is to mirror Christ's sacrificial love for the Church, and the wife's respect for her husband is to mirror the Church's submission to Christ. This spiritual analogy elevates marriage far beyond a mere legal contract; it becomes a living parable of the gospel.
Furthermore, marriage is a solemn covenant before God. The prophet Malachi condemns faithlessness in marriage, identifying the wife as "the wife of thy covenant" (Malachi 2:14). A covenant implies a sacred, binding agreement, not easily broken, made not only between the two individuals but also with God as the primary witness and participant. This covenantal nature underscores the permanence and seriousness of the marital vow.
Roles and Responsibilities within Marriage
The Bible, while emphasizing unity and equality in worth, also delineates distinct, complementary roles within the marriage, particularly for the husband and wife. These roles are not about superiority or inferiority but about order and function, designed for the flourishing of the family unit.
The husband is called to loving leadership. He is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church (Ephesians 5:23). This headship is not tyrannical or oppressive but characterized by sacrificial love. Paul commands husbands: "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;" (Ephesians 5:25). This implies nurturing, protecting, providing for, and cherishing his wife. He is to be considerate and understanding, honoring his wife as a joint heir of the grace of life (1 Peter 3:7).
The wife is called to respect and submission. Paul instructs: "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." (Ephesians 5:22) This submission is not a subjugation of her identity or intellect but a willing alignment with her husband's loving leadership, mirroring the Church's submission to Christ. It is a posture of respect and partnership, acknowledging her husband's God-given responsibility as head. The wife is also described as a "help meet" (Genesis 2:18), a capable and vital partner who supports her husband and manages the household with wisdom, as exemplified in Proverbs 31.
Both husband and wife are called to mutual love, respect, and service. The New Testament consistently emphasizes that love covers a multitude of sins and is the fulfilling of the law (1 Peter 4:8; Romans 13:10). A godly marriage is characterized by selflessness, forgiveness, and a commitment to the spiritual growth of one another.
The Sanctity and Permanence of Marriage
The Biblical view of marriage holds it in the highest regard as a sacred and permanent institution. This sanctity extends to the sexual relationship, which is exclusively reserved for the marital bond.
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
This verse clearly states that sexual intimacy within marriage is pure and honorable, while any sexual activity outside of it—fornication (premarital sex) and adultery (extramarital sex)—is condemned by God. The "one flesh" union signifies a profound spiritual and physical joining that is meant to be exclusive and lifelong, reflecting God's covenant faithfulness.
The permanence of marriage is central to its Biblical understanding. Jesus declared, "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." (Matthew 19:6) This statement underscores the divine sealing of the union, indicating that it is intended to last until death. The Old Testament also conveys God's perspective on divorce: "For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with a garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously." (Malachi 2:16)
While the Bible strongly upholds permanence, it acknowledges human sinfulness and provides limited exceptions for divorce, primarily in cases of sexual immorality (Matthew 19:9, using the Greek word 'porneia' which can encompass various sexual sins) and desertion by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15). However, these exceptions are not mandates for divorce but rather concessions to human fallenness, with the ideal remaining indissolubility. The emphasis is always on reconciliation and preservation of the marriage whenever possible.
The Blessings of a Godly Marriage
A marriage built upon Biblical principles is a source of immense blessings, not only for the couple but also for their children, the church, and society at large. It provides a stable environment for raising children, teaching them about love, commitment, and faith through the example of their parents. It fosters spiritual growth as two individuals strive to honor God and serve one another, sharpening each other like iron sharpening iron (Proverbs 27:17).
The wisdom literature of the Bible extols the virtues of a good spouse: "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD." (Proverbs 18:22) A godly marriage brings joy, peace, and strength in times of adversity. It is a partnership where burdens are shared, triumphs are celebrated, and life's journey is walked hand in hand with a faithful companion.
Ultimately, the Biblical view of marriage is a testament to God's good design for humanity. It is a sacred union, divinely instituted, covenantally bound, purposefully designed for companionship, procreation, and a profound reflection of Christ and His Church. Upholding the Biblical standard for marriage is not about adherence to outdated rules but about embracing God's perfect plan for human flourishing, joy, and the glory of His name.