Preparing for a Godly Marriage
The institution of marriage, ordained by God in the Garden of Eden, is a sacred covenant designed to reflect the relationship between Christ and His church. In a world increasingly redefining and devaluing this holy union, it is imperative for believers to understand and embrace God's divine blueprint for marriage. Preparing for a godly marriage is not merely about planning a wedding; it is a profound spiritual journey that involves cultivating one's personal relationship with Christ, understanding biblical principles, and intentionally building a foundation that will honor God throughout a lifetime. This preparation lays the groundwork for a union that stands strong against the wiles of the enemy and glorifies the Lord in every aspect.
Establishing a Firm Foundation in Christ
Before two individuals can truly become one in a godly marriage, each must first be whole in Christ. The most crucial preparation for marriage is a deep, abiding, and personal relationship with Jesus Christ. A man or woman seeking a godly spouse must first be walking in submission to the Lordship of Jesus, trusting in His wisdom and seeking His will above all else.
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
This individual spiritual maturity ensures that both partners bring a spirit of humility, forgiveness, and Christ-like love into the union. It enables them to draw strength from the ultimate source, rather than placing unrealistic expectations upon their spouse. Furthermore, the Bible warns against unequal yoking, emphasizing the need for both individuals to be believers, walking in the same spirit and purpose.
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
Purity before marriage is also a vital aspect of preparation. God calls believers to honor Him with their bodies, reserving intimacy for the covenant of marriage. This commitment to holiness safeguards the marital bed and builds a foundation of trust and respect.
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Understanding God's Divine Design for Marriage
A godly marriage is built upon God's unchanging principles, not societal trends or personal preferences. Understanding these foundational truths is paramount.
And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
These roles are empowered by the Holy Spirit and fulfilled in love, not by human strength or cultural dictates.
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
This is the kind of love that sustains a marriage through trials and triumphs.
Practical Preparation for Oneness
Beyond theological understanding, practical preparation is essential for a thriving godly marriage.
- Communication: Learning to communicate openly, honestly, and respectfully is crucial. This includes active listening, expressing needs, fears, and desires, and resolving disagreements in a Christ-like manner. Silence and assumptions are enemies of intimacy.
- Conflict Resolution: No marriage is without conflict. Preparing means learning biblical principles for forgiveness, reconciliation, and approaching disagreements with a desire for understanding and unity, rather than victory. Ephesians 4:26-27 admonishes believers not to let the sun go down upon their wrath.
- Financial Stewardship: Discussing finances openly and establishing a unified approach to budgeting, saving, and spending is vital. Money issues are a leading cause of marital strife, and a Christ-centered approach to stewardship fosters trust and shared goals.
- Understanding Family of Origin: Each person brings their family's customs, habits, and unspoken rules into the marriage. Understanding these influences, and deciding together which ones to keep and which to change, helps prevent unforeseen conflicts.
- Mentorship and Counselling: Seeking wisdom from older, godly married couples or pre-marital counselling from a biblically sound pastor or counselor can provide invaluable guidance and identify potential areas for growth before marriage.
Spiritual Warfare and Prayer
Marriage, being a reflection of Christ and the church, is a prime target for the enemy. Preparing for a godly marriage includes understanding this spiritual reality and arming oneself with spiritual weapons.
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Individual and corporate prayer must be central to the preparation. Pray for your future spouse (if not yet identified), pray for wisdom in choosing, pray for purity, and pray for the strength to build a Christ-centered home. Once engaged, pray together regularly, establishing a spiritual rhythm that will carry into your marriage. Putting on the whole armour of God (Ephesians 6:10-18) ensures that both partners are equipped to stand firm against spiritual attacks on their union.
Conclusion
Preparing for a godly marriage is an investment in a lifetime of blessing and a powerful testimony to the world of God's love and faithfulness. It requires intentionality, humility, and a steadfast commitment to biblical principles. By building a strong personal relationship with Christ, understanding God's design for marriage, engaging in practical preparation, and committing to spiritual warfare through prayer, individuals can lay a foundation for a union that not only endures but flourishes, bringing glory to God in every season of life. A godly marriage is a beautiful picture of Christ's love, a haven of peace, and a powerful force for righteousness in a fallen world.