Proverbs 14:10

¶ The heart knoweth his own bitterness; and a stranger doth not intermeddle with his joy.

The heart {H3820} knoweth {H3045} his own {H5315} bitterness {H4787}; and a stranger {H2114} doth not intermeddle {H6148} with his joy {H8057}.

The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger can share its joy.

The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares in its joy.

The heart knoweth its own bitterness; And a stranger doth not intermeddle with its joy.

Commentary

Context

Proverbs 14:10 is a succinct piece of wisdom from the book of Proverbs, a collection of practical insights for living a righteous and discerning life. This particular verse addresses the deeply private and personal nature of human emotion, both sorrow and joy. It emphasizes that while we can empathize with others, the core experience of one's deepest feelings remains an internal, solitary journey.

Key Themes

  • The Personal Nature of Emotion: The verse highlights that feelings like "bitterness" (deep sorrow or grief) and "joy" are profoundly personal. No one else can fully comprehend the depth or nuances of another's internal experience.
  • Limits of Empathy and Understanding: While friends and family can offer support and share in moments, there's an inherent boundary to how much an "outsider" can truly grasp the intensity of another's pain or delight. This resonates with the idea that the human heart has depths unknown to others.
  • The Solitude of the Soul: This proverb points to a fundamental aspect of human existence: certain experiences are uniquely our own. This can be a source of comfort (that our truest feelings are protected) or a challenge (in seeking genuine connection).

Linguistic Insights

  • "Bitterness" (מְרִירוּת - merirut): This Hebrew word conveys a sense of deep, internal pain, grief, or affliction. It's not just fleeting sadness but a profound, often enduring, sorrow. The phrase "knoweth his own bitterness" speaks to a direct, unmediated experience.
  • "Stranger" (נָכְרִי - nakri): This refers to an outsider, someone not intimately connected or belonging to one's inner circle. They lack the personal context and shared history to fully "intermeddle" or participate in the depth of one's joy or sorrow.
  • "Intermeddle" (עָרַב - 'arav): In this context, it means to mix oneself with, to share in, or to fully comprehend. The "stranger" cannot truly mix themselves into the profound joy of another, just as they cannot fully understand the bitterness. This underlines the unique, internal nature of these experiences.

Practical Application

Proverbs 14:10 offers several insights for daily life:

  • Cultivate Empathy, but Acknowledge Limits: We should strive to be compassionate listeners and supportive friends, recognizing that we can't fully "fix" or entirely grasp another's pain or joy. This humility fosters genuine connection.
  • Validate Personal Feelings: It's a reminder that our deepest emotions are valid, even if others don't completely understand them. This can be particularly comforting in times of profound grief or unique blessings.
  • Value Intimate Relationships: While a "stranger" cannot fully intermeddle, trusted friends and family can offer solace and share in joy more deeply. The proverb implicitly encourages fostering relationships where a greater degree of shared understanding is possible.
  • Reliance on God: Ultimately, this verse points to the reality that only God truly knows the depths of the human heart. He is the ultimate confidant who understands our every sorrow and every joy, even when others cannot. This provides a profound sense of comfort and a reason to cast our cares upon Him, as He truly cares for us (1 Peter 5:7).
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Cross-References

  • Philippians 4:7 (7 votes)

    And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

  • Proverbs 18:14 (7 votes)

    ¶ The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear?

  • Job 10:1 (4 votes)

    ¶ My soul is weary of my life; I will leave my complaint upon myself; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.

  • Proverbs 15:13 (4 votes)

    ¶ A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.

  • 1 Samuel 1:10 (3 votes)

    And she [was] in bitterness of soul, and prayed unto the LORD, and wept sore.

  • Revelation 2:17 (3 votes)

    He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth [it].

  • 1 Peter 1:8 (3 votes)

    Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see [him] not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory: