Proverbs 21:14

¶ A gift in secret pacifieth anger: and a reward in the bosom strong wrath.

A gift {H4976} in secret {H5643} pacifieth {H3711} anger {H639}: and a reward {H7810} in the bosom {H2436} strong {H5794} wrath {H2534}.

A secret gift allays anger, and a bribe under the cloak the strongest fury.

A gift in secret soothes anger, and a covert bribe pacifies great wrath.

A gift in secret pacifieth anger; And a present in the bosom, strong wrath.

Commentary

Proverbs 21:14 offers a shrewd observation about human nature and conflict resolution, highlighting the surprising power of discreet gestures in calming intense emotions.

Context

The Book of Proverbs is a collection of ancient wisdom literature, offering practical guidance for living a righteous and successful life. This particular proverb speaks to the dynamics of interpersonal relationships and the art of de-escalation. In the ancient Near East, the giving of gifts was a common practice, not always synonymous with unethical bribery, but often serving as a means of diplomacy, tribute, or appeasement. This verse describes a practical reality: a discreetly presented offering can effectively disarm a volatile situation.

Key Themes

  • The Power of Discretion: The emphasis on a "gift in secret" and "a reward in the bosom" underscores the importance of privacy and tact. A public gift might be perceived as a bribe or an act of condescension, potentially escalating anger. However, a discreet, privately offered gesture allows both parties to save face and provides a pathway to reconciliation without public humiliation.
  • Appeasement and Conflict Resolution: The core message is that anger and "strong wrath" can be neutralized through a well-timed, hidden offering. It acknowledges the human tendency to be swayed by personal gain or a gesture of goodwill, even when consumed by fury. This is a pragmatic observation on how to pacify intense emotions.
  • Human Psychology: The proverb reveals insight into the psychological impact of a private act of generosity or appeasement. It suggests that such a gesture can bypass immediate emotional defenses and appeal to a more rational or self-interested part of the angry individual.

Linguistic Insights

The word "pacifieth" comes from the Hebrew root kaphar (כָּפַר), which can mean to cover, atone, or make propitiation. In this context, it implies covering over or neutralizing the anger, much like an atonement covers sin. The phrase "in the bosom" (Hebrew: cheq - חֵק) refers to the lap or chest area, where something valuable or secret might be held close, reinforcing the idea of a hidden, intimate transaction. The term "reward" here (Hebrew: shochad - שֹׁחַד) can indeed mean "bribe" in other contexts, but in this proverb, it focuses on the practical effect of a conciliatory gift, highlighting its power to avert or diminish severe wrath.

Practical Application

While this proverb can describe the dynamics of unethical bribery, its broader principle offers insights into conflict management. It teaches the value of strategic and humble action in defusing tension. In our relationships, a thoughtful, discreet gesture of goodwill, a sincere apology, or a private act of generosity can often accomplish what direct confrontation or argument cannot. It encourages seeking peace through quiet diplomacy rather than escalating conflict. It reminds us that sometimes, a humble, unexpected act can disarm even the strongest opposition.

Reflection

Proverbs 21:14 challenges us to consider the subtle yet powerful ways we can influence situations and relationships. It underscores the wisdom of discretion and the effectiveness of conciliatory gestures, even when facing "strong wrath." This verse encourages a proactive and shrewd approach to maintaining harmony, reminding us that wisdom often lies in understanding human nature and applying practical principles for peace.

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Cross-References

  • Proverbs 18:16 (4 votes)

    ¶ A man's gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men.

  • Proverbs 19:6 (3 votes)

    ¶ Many will intreat the favour of the prince: and every man [is] a friend to him that giveth gifts.

  • Proverbs 17:8 (2 votes)

    ¶ A gift [is as] a precious stone in the eyes of him that hath it: whithersoever it turneth, it prospereth.

  • Matthew 6:3 (1 votes)

    But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:

  • Matthew 6:4 (1 votes)

    That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.

  • Genesis 32:20 (1 votes)

    And say ye moreover, Behold, thy servant Jacob [is] behind us. For he said, I will appease him with the present that goeth before me, and afterward I will see his face; peradventure he will accept of me.

  • 1 Samuel 25:35 (1 votes)

    So David received of her hand [that] which she had brought him, and said unto her, Go up in peace to thine house; see, I have hearkened to thy voice, and have accepted thy person.